Formally, the godfather does not have to fast, confess and take communion before the sacrament, however, if you are a believer and are connected with the Church not only by your own baptism, then most likely you adhere to these rules all the time, and it will not be difficult for you to confess and take communion in advance.
After you have agreed to become a godfather, do not postpone the immediate preparation for the sacrament on the back burner. First of all, visit the temple in which it was decided to baptize the baby. The priest who will baptize the baby will conduct an interview with you before Baptism and tell you what you need to buy for the Sacrament. This is a baptismal set consisting of a baptismal cross and a christening shirt. In addition, you will need a sheet or towel in order to wrap and dry the baby after diving into the font. Traditionally, a godfather buys a pectoral cross for a boy, and a godmother for a girl, who also brings a towel. But if only one godfather buys everything you need, it's okay. In fact, it does not have any special meaning.
The priest, godparents and the child are the main participants in the sacrament. The child's parents only observe the sacrament and pray together with those invited.
The duties of the godfather at Baptism include holding the baby in his arms if the boy is baptized. The godmother at this time stands nearby. If a girl is baptized, then everything happens the other way around. Before the celebration of the sacrament, the priest in white robes goes around the baptismal or temple, reading three prayers. After that, he asks the godfather and the godson to turn their faces to the west and asks the person being baptized a few questions. If the baby being baptized, then the godfather answers these questions for him. In addition, during baptism, the godparents read aloud the "Symbol of Faith" instead of the baby and pronounce vows of renunciation of Satan on his behalf. Try to learn the Creed by heart. It is in any prayer book that you can purchase at any church shop. The godfather perceives the boy from the font, and the godmother perceives the girl. The second godparent helps dry the baby and dress him in a christening gown.
The duties of the godmother and godfather, among other things, include the question of what to give to the godson for christening.
Duties of a godfather after baptism
The duties of the godfather, which he assumes in the Sacrament of Baptism, are very serious, so you must clearly understand what is required of you in the future.The godfather is obliged to give spiritual education to his godson, to bring to the attention of the child the main canons of the Orthodox faith, to teach the child to resort to the saving sacraments of Confession and Communion, to help parents in raising and caring for the godson, and to bear responsibility for the upbringing and life of the child if something happens to his parents. But, of course, the main duty of the godfather is to pray for the godson.
The duties of godparents also include guardianship of the godson from various temptations and sinful temptations, which are especially dangerous in childhood and adolescence. The godfather, knowing the nature, talents and desires of the godson, can help him with the choice of education, future profession, and even a spouse.
Remember that the fate of your godson will largely depend on how well you fulfill your godfather duties, so a frivolous attitude towards them is simply unacceptable.
Now you understand why you should not mindlessly agree to an invitation to become a godfather, especially if you already have a godson. Think about whether you have the strength, patience, wisdom and love to cope with such a serious duty as the spiritual upbringing of a child.
The godfather must be aware of the responsibility for his duties
Unfortunately, the main duties of the godfather now come down to buying a pectoral cross for the future godson, paying for the sacrament, drinking for the godson's happiness and saying goodbye to him before the unknown date, regularly celebrating his godfatherhood with toys or a bill in an envelope. However, for the Orthodox Church, the duties of a godfather are not at all like that.In the Sacrament, instead of the baby, you renounce the devil, his pride and his ministry, and express your complete readiness to be united to Christ for the baby. Try to raise the baby in such a way that you yourself would not be ashamed of your guarantee in the future.
Remember that there is no duty higher, more sacred and more terrible than those that you impose on yourself by becoming a godfather. Of course, it is difficult to lead others along a difficult life path if you yourself are constantly stumbling, but it is necessary to do this, because you yourself agreed, undertook this and now you are endlessly responsible for the one you vouched for.
You may think that such duties are beyond the power of a father to fulfill. But that is precisely why the Church gave you to help him. You must help each other in the difficult task of raising a child. In addition, you, as a godfather, are obliged to watch even the baby's own parents. Remember, there are so many families in which parents do not care about the spiritual and moral upbringing of the child. How many dads who do not consider it their duty to raise a baby. How many mothers who give their children to nannies, so as not to simply burden their lives and not give up their usual pleasures. It is here that your field for the spiritual activity of the godfather is located. It is here that you should take the floor and remind the father of his family duty to educate and teach his baby, remind the mother, who is weighed down by maternal duties, of her duty.
If it seems to you that these tasks are very difficult and impossible, then consider the consecrated dignity of the title of godfather and the activity that entitles you to be the earthly guardian angel of a small person; think about what blessings the Heavenly Father is preparing for those who teach and educate a person in the Love of God.
In addition, for you personally, the activities of the godfather will not be useless. If you understand the need for the spiritual education of your godson, and you yourself are not very strong in this science, then, by all means, study it yourself with your child.
If you yourself do not often attend church, now no, no, and go with your child. If you like to chat or discuss someone's actions, then you will have to think a hundred times before you say something, because the little godson or goddaughter revolves around you. And it is pleasant for you, and it is useful for the child.
Now, if God has led or will lead you to become a godfather for someone, then you will agree to this not headlong, but having thought it over and prepared for everything well, and you will become a true godfather for your godson.
Agreeing to become a godmother, a woman must understand that she will have to take responsibility for raising her godchild / goddaughter in the spirit of Orthodoxy, setting an example of a pious life. Therefore, the proposal should be taken seriously, assessing the possibility of implementing the assigned mission.
How to prepare your future godmother for the rite of baptism
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The future godmother must be baptized in Orthodoxy, know the basics of the Christian faith, observe church laws, and also undergo some preparation for the sacrament. How to pass an interviewAfter setting the date of the christening and agreeing it with the priest of the godmother, it is imperative to attend the categorical conversations with the godfather and receive the blessing of the priest for a bright mission. Usually such interviews are assigned one or two, in some cases - three to five. Some temples, after listening to preparatory lectures and passing exams, practice issuing certificates or certificates of passing catechumens. During the classes, the priest talks about the rite of Baptism itself, and also explains the meaning of the Orthodox faith in general. Godparents, at a minimum, need to familiarize themselves (if this has not been done before) with the text of the Holy Scriptures of the New Testament and learn the basic Orthodox prayers. |
Fasting, confession and communion
During the preparation period, the recipients need to attend a church service, confess (repent of their sins) and take communion. Three days before the sacrament of baptism, observe a fast: do not eat food of animal origin, refrain from marital relations, foul language and entertainment events. On the day of baptism, you must come to church on an empty stomach. Such preparation will allow the godmother to participate in the first communion of the godson / goddaughter and take communion with him / her.
What prayers do you need to know
Mandatory for the godmother, like any believing Christian, is the knowledge and understanding of prayer, which is a summary of the main tenets of the Orthodox dogma. Saying this prayer, instead of the baptized, the godparents recognize faith in the Lord God, the creator of heaven and earth, his son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
It is also necessary to learn the prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God, rejoice”, “King of Heaven”.
How to dress properly
The appearance of the godmother in the temple should be modest and neat. But gloomy clothes should not be chosen, since baptism is a bright holiday. The best solution would be pastel colors: milky, beige, lavender. In addition, light-colored clothes look more solemn in photographs.
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Is it possible to be a godmother on critical days
It is necessary to coordinate the date of baptism with the parents of the child so that it does not coincide with the days of her monthly cleansing, since during this period a woman is not allowed to participate in church sacraments. If menstruation came unexpectedly, then you can’t hide this fact, it’s better to ask the baby’s parents to reschedule the baptism.
In the case when it is impossible to shift the date, it is necessary to talk with the priest and discuss the possibility of participating in the baptism.
- In most cases, priests are allowed to be present in the church and simply observe the ceremony, while the godmother is indicated on the baptismal certificate.
- In some churches, the godmother is admitted to the ceremony with the proviso that she cannot accept the child from the font, hold him in her arms and kiss the icons. It is allowed to pronounce traditional vows, to pray.
What are the duties of the godmother during the sacrament
At the christening of a girl
The duties of the godmother at the baptism of a girl are more, since it is she who is considered the main recipient. She will have to take the goddaughter from the font and hold her in her arms until the end of the sacrament.
The godmother will also need to undress the child for dipping in the font and then dress in a baptismal shirt. Some churches have changing tables, but with a general baptism of several children, everything will have to be done on weight. In this case, it is good to have experience of communicating with young children, to be able to calm a crying baby.
At the baptism of a boy
The godfather takes the boy from the font and holds him in his arms throughout the ceremony. The father may ask the godmother to read the “Symbol of Faith” prayer.
Responsibilities of a godmother after baptism
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The very first thing that a godmother needs to do after baptism is to constantly pray for her godchild / goddaughter at church services, submit health notes, mention in morning and evening prayers said at home. An already grown up baby needs to be taught by example piety, mercy, kindness, together with his parents, begin to accustom him to regular visits to the temple, reading Orthodox literature, and introduce him to the church calendar. It is also a duty to teach the child how to pray, fast, resort to saving sacraments - confession and communion. The godmother must remember the date of the christening and every year congratulate the godchild / goddaughter on Angel Day, take the child to the temple on this day, light candles for health. Gifts for this holiday are best prepared with a spiritual meaning. |
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Not only in childhood, but also in adult life, the godmother should take part in the fate of the godson / goddaughter, instructing on the true path, helping with a kind word, advice, supporting in various life situations.
Photos provided
What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament? You will find comprehensive answers to all these questions in this article prepared by the editors of Pravmir.
The Sacrament of Baptism: Answers to Readers' Questions
Today I would like to tell the reader about the sacrament of Baptism and the godparents.
For ease of perception, I will offer the reader an article in the form of questions most often asked by people about Baptism and the answers to them. So the first question is:
What is Baptism? Why is it called a Sacrament?
Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Orthodox Church, in which the believer, when the body is immersed three times in water with the invocation of the name of the Most Holy Trinity - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, dies to a sinful life, and is reborn by the Holy Spirit for Eternal Life. Of course, there is a basis for this action in the Holy Scriptures: "He who is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God" (John 3:5). Christ says in the Gospel: “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; but whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).
So, baptism is necessary for a person to be saved. Baptism is a new birth for spiritual life, in which a person can reach the Kingdom of Heaven. And it is called a sacrament because through it, in a mysterious, incomprehensible way for us, the invisible saving power of God, grace, acts on the person being baptized. Like other sacraments, baptism is established by God. The Lord Jesus Christ himself, sending the apostles to preach the gospel, taught them to baptize people: “Go, make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 28:19). Having been baptized, a person becomes a member of the Church of Christ and from now on can proceed to the rest of the sacraments of the Church.
Now that the reader has become acquainted with the Orthodox concept of baptism, it is appropriate to consider one of the most frequently asked questions related to the baptism of children. So:
Baptism of infants: is it possible to baptize infants, because they do not have an independent faith?
Quite right, young children do not have independent, conscious faith. But don't the parents who brought their child to be baptized in the temple of God have it? Will they not instill faith in God in their child from childhood? It is obvious that parents have such a faith, and most likely will instill it in their child. In addition, the child will also have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font, who vouch for him and undertake to raise their godchild in the Orthodox faith. Thus, infants are baptized not according to their own faith, but according to the faith of their parents and godparents who brought the child to baptism.
The New Testament baptism was typified by the Old Testament circumcision. In the Old Testament, babies were brought to the temple for circumcision on the eighth day. By this, the child's parents showed their and his faith and belonging to God's chosen people. Christians can say the same about baptism in the words of John Chrysostom: "Baptism is the most obvious difference and separation of the faithful from the unbelievers." Moreover, there is a basis for this in the Holy Scriptures: “They were circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the sinful body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ; being buried with Him in baptism” (Col. 2:11-12). That is, baptism is a dying and burial for sin and a resurrection for a perfect life with Christ.
These reasons are enough to make the reader realize the importance of infant baptism. After that, the next question would be:
When should children be baptized?
There are no specific rules in this matter. But usually children are baptized on the 40th day after birth, although this can be done earlier or later. The main thing is not to postpone baptism for a long time unless absolutely necessary. It would be wrong to deprive a child of such a great sacrament for the sake of the circumstances.
An inquisitive reader may have questions regarding the days of baptism. For example, on the eve of multi-day fasts, the question most often heard is:
Is it possible to baptize children on fasting days?
Of course! But technically it doesn't always work. In some churches, during the days of Great Lent, they baptize only on Saturdays and Sundays. This practice is most likely based on the fact that weekday Lenten services are very long, and the intervals between morning and evening services can be short. On Saturdays and Sundays, divine services are somewhat shorter in time, and priests can devote more time to the requirements. Therefore, when planning the day of baptism, it is better to find out in advance about the rules observed in the temple where the child will be baptized. Well, if we talk about the days on which you can baptize, then there are no restrictions on this issue. You can baptize children on any day when there are no technical obstacles to this.
I have already mentioned that every person, if possible, should have godparents - godparents from the baptismal font. Moreover, they should be in children who are baptized according to the faith of their parents and godparents. The question arises:
How many godparents should a child have?
Church rules prescribe to have a godparent for the child of the same sex as the person being baptized. That is, for a boy - a man, and for a girl - a woman. In tradition, both godparents are usually chosen for the child: father and mother. This does not contradict the canons in any way. It will also not be a contradiction if, if necessary, the child has a godfather of a different sex than the baptized person himself. The main thing is that it should be a truly believing person who would subsequently conscientiously fulfill his duties of raising a child in the Orthodox faith. Thus, a baptized person can have one or, at most, two godparents.
Having dealt with the number of godparents, the reader will most likely want to know:
What are the requirements for godparents?
The first and main requirement is the undoubted Orthodox faith of the recipients. Godparents must be church-going people, living the church life. After all, they will have to teach their godson or goddaughter the basics of the Orthodox faith, to give spiritual instructions. If they themselves are ignorant of these matters, what will they be able to teach the child? Godparents are entrusted with a huge responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of their godchildren, for they, together with their parents, are responsible for it before God. This responsibility begins with the renunciation of "Satan, and all his works, and all his angels, and all his ministry, and all his pride." Thus, the godparents, answering for their godson, make a promise that their godchild will be a Christian.
If the godson is already an adult and pronounces the words of renunciation himself, then the godparents present at the same time become guarantors before the Church in the fidelity of his words. Godparents are obliged to teach their godchildren to resort to the saving Sacraments of the Church, mainly confession and communion, they must give them knowledge about the meaning of worship, the features of the church calendar, the grace-filled power of miraculous icons and other shrines. Godparents must accustom those taken from the font to attend church services, fast, pray, and observe other provisions of the church charter. But the main thing is that godparents should always pray for their godson. Obviously, strangers cannot be godparents, for example, some kind-hearted grandmother from the church, whom her parents persuaded to “hold” the baby at baptism.
But also, you should not take as godparents just close people or relatives who do not meet the spiritual requirements that were outlined above.
Godparents should not become an object of personal gain for the parents of the baptized. The desire to intermarry with a profitable person, for example, with a boss, often guides parents when choosing godparents for a child. At the same time, forgetting about the true purpose of baptism, parents can deprive the child of a real godfather, and impose on him one who subsequently will not care at all about the spiritual upbringing of the child, for which he himself will also answer to God. Unrepentant sinners and people leading an immoral lifestyle cannot become godparents.
Some of the details of baptism include the following question:
Is it possible for a woman to become a godmother on the days of the monthly cleansing? What to do if it did happen?
On such days, women should refrain from participating in church sacraments, which include baptism. But if this did happen, then it is necessary to repent at confession.
Perhaps someone reading this article will become a godfather in the near future. Realizing the importance of the decision being made, they will be interested in:
How do future godparents prepare for baptism?
There are no special rules for preparing recipients for baptism. At some churches, special talks are held, the purpose of which is usually to explain to a person all the provisions of the Orthodox faith regarding baptism and acceptance. If there is an opportunity to attend such talks, then it is necessary to do this, because. this is very helpful for future godparents. If the future godparents are sufficiently churched, constantly confess and take communion, then attending such conversations will be a completely sufficient measure of preparation for them.
If potential recipients themselves are not yet sufficiently churched, then a good preparation for them will be not only acquiring the necessary knowledge about church life, but also studying the Holy Scriptures, the basic rules of Christian piety, as well as a three-day fast, confession and communion before the sacrament of baptism. There are several other traditions regarding recipients. Usually the godfather takes care of the payment (if any) for the baptism itself and the purchase of a pectoral cross for his godson. The godmother buys a baptismal cross for the girl, and also brings the things necessary for baptism. Typically, a christening kit includes a baptismal shirt, a sheet and a towel.
But these traditions are not binding. Often, different regions and even individual churches have their own traditions, the implementation of which is strictly monitored by parishioners and even priests, although they do not have any dogmatic and canonical foundations. Therefore, it is better to learn more about them in the temple in which baptism will take place.
Sometimes one hears a purely technical question related to baptism:
What should godparents give for baptism (godson, godson's parents, priest)?
This question does not lie in the spiritual realm, regulated by canonical rules and traditions. But, it seems that the gift should be useful and remind of the day of baptism. Useful gifts on the day of baptism could be icons, the Gospel, spiritual literature, prayer books, etc. In general, in church shops you can now find a lot of interesting and soulful things, so acquiring a worthy gift should not be a big difficulty.
A fairly common question asked by unchurched parents is the question:
Can non-Orthodox Christians or Gentiles become godparents?
It is quite obvious that they are not, because they will not be able to teach their godson the truths of the Orthodox faith. Not being members of the Orthodox Church, they cannot take part in church sacraments at all.
Unfortunately, many parents do not ask about this in advance and, without any remorse, invite non-Orthodox and Gentile godparents to their children. At baptism, of course, no one talks about this. But then, having learned about the inadmissibility of the deed, the parents run to the temple, asking:
What should I do if this happened by mistake? Is baptism valid in this case? Should a child be baptized?
First of all, such situations show the extreme irresponsibility of parents when choosing godparents for their child. Nevertheless, such cases are not uncommon, and they occur among unchurched people who do not live a church life. An unequivocal answer to the question "what to do in this case?" it is impossible to give, because there is nothing of the kind in the church canons. This is not surprising, since canons and rules are written for members of the Orthodox Church, which cannot be said about heterodox and non-believers. Nevertheless, as a fact, baptism took place, and it cannot be called invalid. It is legal and valid, and the baptized one has become a full-fledged Orthodox Christian, because. was baptized by an Orthodox priest in the name of the Holy Trinity. No rebaptism is required; there is no such concept at all in the Orthodox Church. A person is born once physically, he cannot repeat it again. Similarly, only once a person can be born for spiritual life, so there can be only one baptism.
I will allow myself a small digression and tell the reader how once I had to witness one not very pleasant scene. A young married couple brought their newborn son to the temple for baptism. The couple worked in a foreign company and invited one of their colleagues, a foreigner, a Lutheran, to become godfather. True, a girl of the Orthodox faith was supposed to become a godmother. Neither parents nor future godparents were distinguished by special knowledge in the field of Orthodox dogma. The news of the impossibility of having a Lutheran as godfather of their son was received with hostility by the child's parents. They were asked to find another godfather or to baptize the child with one godmother. But this proposal angered the father and mother even more. The stubborn desire to see this particular person as the successor prevailed over the common sense of the parents and the priest had to refuse to baptize the child. So the illiteracy of the parents became an obstacle to the baptism of their child.
Thank God that such situations no longer occurred in my priestly practice. The curious reader may well assume that there may be some obstacles to receiving the sacrament of baptism. And he will be absolutely right. So:
In what case can a priest refuse a person to be baptized?
Orthodox believe in God the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The founder of the Christian faith was the Son - the Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, a person who does not accept the divinity of Christ and does not believe in the Holy Trinity cannot be an Orthodox Christian. Also, a person who denies the truths of the Orthodox faith cannot become an Orthodox Christian. The priest has the right to refuse baptism to a person if he is going to accept the sacrament as some kind of magical rite or has some pagan belief regarding baptism itself. But this is a separate issue and I will touch on it later.
A very common question about receivers is the question:
Can spouses or those who are about to get married become godparents?
Yes they can. Contrary to popular belief, there is no canonical prohibition for spouses or those about to get married to be godparents to one child. There is only a canonical rule that prohibits the godfather from marrying the child's mother. The spiritual relationship established between them through the sacrament of baptism is higher than any other union, even marriage. But this rule does not affect the possibility of marriage of godparents or the possibility of spouses to become godparents.
Sometimes unchurched parents of children, wanting to choose godparents for their children, ask the following question:
Can people living in a civil marriage become godparents?
At first glance, this is a rather complicated issue, but from the ecclesiastical point of view, it is resolved unambiguously. Such a family cannot be called complete. And in general it is impossible to call prodigal cohabitation a family. After all, in fact, people living in the so-called civil marriage live in fornication. This is a big problem in modern society. People baptized in the Orthodox Church, at least conscious of themselves as Christians, for some incomprehensible reasons, refuse to legitimize their union not only before God (which is undoubtedly more important), but also before the state. There are countless answers to be heard. But, unfortunately, these people simply do not want to understand that they are looking for any excuses for themselves.
For God, the desire to “get to know each other better” or “unwillingness to stain the passport with unnecessary seals” cannot be an excuse for fornication. In fact, people living in a “civil” marriage trample on all Christian concepts about marriage and family. Christian marriage implies the responsibility of spouses for each other. During the marriage, they become one, and not two different people who made a promise to live under the same roof from now on. Marriage can be compared to two legs of one body. If one leg stumbles or breaks, won't the other leg bear the full weight of the body? And in a "civil" marriage, people do not even want to take responsibility for putting a stamp in their passport.
What then can be said about such irresponsible people, who at the same time want to be godparents? What good can they teach a child? Can they, having very shaky moral foundations, be able to set a good example for their godson? Not at all. Also, according to church canons, people leading an immoral life (“civil” marriage should be regarded in this way) cannot be recipients from the baptismal font. And if these people finally decide to legitimize their relationship before God and the state, then they, moreover, will not be able to be godparents to one child. Despite the apparent complexity of the question, there can be only one answer to it - unambiguously: no.
The topic of gender relations is always very acute in all areas of human life. It goes without saying that this translates into various issues that are directly related to baptism. Here is one of them:
Can a young man (or girl) become a godfather for his bride (groom)?
In this case, they will have to terminate their relationship and limit themselves to only a spiritual connection, because. in the sacrament of baptism, one of them will become the godparent of the other. Can a son marry his own mother? Or a daughter to marry her own father? It is quite obvious that it is not. Of course, church canons cannot allow such a thing to happen.
Much more often than others there are questions about the possible perception of close relatives. So:
Can relatives become godparents?
Grandfathers, grandmothers, uncles and aunts may well become godparents to their little relatives. There is no contradiction to this in church canons.
Can an adoptive father (mother) become a godfather to an adopted child?
According to Canon 53 of the VI Ecumenical Council, this is unacceptable.
Based on the fact that spiritual kinship is established between godparents and parents, an inquisitive reader may ask the following question:
Can the parents of a child become godparents of their godfathers (their godchildren)?
Yes, this is perfectly acceptable. Such an action in no way violates the spiritual kinship established between parents and recipients, but only strengthens it. One of the parents, for example, the mother of the child can become the godmother of the daughter of one of the godfathers. And the father may well be the godfather of the son of another godfather or godfather. There are other options, but, in any case, the spouses cannot become the recipients of one child.
Sometimes people ask this question:
Can a priest be a godfather (including one who performs the sacrament of baptism)?
Yes maybe. In general, this question is very urgent. From time to time I have to hear a request to become a godfather from people completely unfamiliar to me. Parents bring their child to be baptized. For some reason, there was no godfather for the child. They begin to ask to become a godfather to the child, motivating this request by the fact that they heard from someone that in the absence of a godfather, the priest must fulfill this role. You have to refuse and baptize with one godmother. A priest is the same person as everyone else, and he may well refuse strangers to be godparents to their child. After all, he will have to bear the responsibility for raising his godchild. But how can he do this if he sees this child for the first time and is completely unfamiliar with his parents? And will most likely never see it again. Obviously this is not possible. But a priest (even if he himself will perform the sacrament of baptism) or, for example, a deacon (and the one who will concelebrate with the priest for the sacrament of baptism) may well become godparents for the children of their friends, acquaintances or parishioners. There are no canonical barriers to this.
Continuing the theme of acceptance, one cannot help but recall such a phenomenon as the desire of parents due to some, sometimes completely incomprehensible, reasons to “take a godfather in absentia”.
Is it possible to take a godfather "in absentia"?
The very meaning of reception presupposes the acceptance by the godfather of his godson from the font itself. By his presence, the godfather agrees to be the recipient of the baptized and undertakes to educate him in the Orthodox faith. This cannot be done in absentia. In the end, the person whom they are trying to “record in absentia” as godparents may not agree to this action at all, and, as a result, the person being baptized may be left without a godfather at all.
Sometimes from parishioners you have to hear questions about the following:
How many times can a person become a godfather?
In the Orthodox Church, there is no clear canonical definition as to how many times a person can become a godfather during a lifetime. The main thing that a person who agrees to become a recipient should remember is a great responsibility for which he will have to answer before God. The measure of this responsibility determines how many times a person will be able to take on the reception. For each person, this measure is different and, sooner or later, a person may have to give up a new perception.
Is it possible to refuse to become a godfather? Wouldn't that be a sin?
If a person feels an inner unpreparedness or has fundamental fears that he will not be able to conscientiously fulfill the duties of a godparent, then he may well refuse the child’s parents (or the baptized person himself, if it is an adult) to become their child’s godfather. There is no sin in this. It will be more honest in relation to the child, his parents and himself than, having taken responsibility for the spiritual upbringing of the child, not fulfilling his immediate duties.
Continuing this topic, here are a few more questions that people usually ask about the number of possible godchildren.
Can I become a godfather to the second child in the family, if I already had one with the first?
Yes, you can. There are no canonical barriers to this.
Is it possible for one person during baptism to be the recipient of several people (for example, twins)?
There are no canonical restrictions on this. But technically it can be quite difficult if babies are being baptized. The recipient will have to hold and receive both babies from the font at the same time. It would be better if each godson had his own godparents. After all, each of those baptized individually are different people who have the right to their godfather.
Probably, many will be interested in the following question:
At what age can you become a foster child?
Underage children cannot become godparents. But, even if a person has not yet reached the age of majority, then his age should be such that he can realize the full burden of the responsibility taken upon himself, and will conscientiously fulfill his duties as a godfather. It seems that this may be the age close to adulthood.
The relationship between the child's parents and godparents also plays an important role in the upbringing of children. It is good when parents and godparents have spiritual unity and direct all their efforts towards the proper spiritual upbringing of their child. But human relationships are not always cloudless, and sometimes one has to hear such a question:
What to do if you quarreled with the parents of your godson and for this reason you cannot see him?
The answer suggests itself: to make peace with the parents of the godson. For what can a child be taught by people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time are at enmity with each other? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having gained patience and humility, try to establish relations with the godson's parents. The same can be said for the parents of the child.
But a quarrel is not always the reason that the godfather cannot see the godson for a long time.
What to do if, due to objective reasons, you do not see your godson for years?
I think that the objective reasons are the physical separation of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents moved with the child to another city, country. In this case, it remains only to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him using all available means of communication.
Unfortunately, some godparents, having christened the baby, completely forget about their immediate duties. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the elementary ignorance of the recipient about his duties, but his falling into grave sins that make their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the parents of the child involuntarily raise a completely legitimate question:
Is it possible to refuse godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or lead an immoral lifestyle?
The Orthodox Church does not know the order of refusal of godparents. But parents can find an adult who, not being the actual recipient from the font, would help in the spiritual upbringing of the child. At the same time, one cannot consider him a godfather.
But having such an assistant is better than depriving the child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend altogether. After all, a moment may come when the child begins to seek spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very helpful. And a child, as they grow older, can be taught to pray for the godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with the person who took him from the font will not be broken if he takes responsibility for a person who himself has not coped with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.
Prayer for a sinner or a stray will be a manifestation of love for this person. After all, it is not for nothing that the Apostle James says in his epistle to Christians: “Pray for one another that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing on them.
And here is another interesting question that people periodically ask:
When is there no need for godparents?
There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because. he has a conscious faith in God and can quite independently pronounce the words of renunciation of Satan, combine with Christ and read the Creed. He is fully accountable for his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and young children. The godparents do it all for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need, of course, can be the complete absence of worthy godparents.
Godless time has left its mark on the destinies of many people. The result of this was that some people, after long years of unbelief, finally gained faith in God, but when they came to the temple, they did not know whether they had been baptized in childhood by believing relatives. A logical question arises:
Is it necessary to baptize a person who does not know for sure whether he was baptized in childhood?
According to Canon 84 of the VI Ecumenical Council, such people must be baptized if there are no witnesses who could confirm or deny the fact of their baptism. In this case, a person is baptized, pronouncing the formula: “If not baptized, the servant (slave) of God is baptized ...”.
Something I'm all about children and about children. Among the readers, perhaps, there are also such people who have not yet been honored with the saving sacrament of baptism, but with all their hearts strive for it. So:
What does a person who is preparing to become an Orthodox Christian need to know? How can he prepare for the sacrament of baptism?
A person's knowledge of faith begins with the reading of the Holy Scriptures. Therefore, a person who wants to be baptized, first of all, needs to read the Gospel. After reading the Gospel, a person may have a number of questions that require a competent answer. Such answers can be obtained at the so-called catechumens, which are held in many temples. At such conversations, the fundamentals of the Orthodox faith are explained to those who wish to be baptized. If there are no such conversations at the temple in which the person is going to be baptized, then you can ask all the questions of interest to the priest in the temple. It will also be useful to read some books that explain Christian dogmas, such as the Law of God. It will be good if, before accepting the sacrament of baptism, a person memorizes the Creed, which briefly outlines the Orthodox dogma about God and the Church. This prayer will be read at baptism, and it would be great if the person being baptized himself confessed his faith. Direct preparation begins a few days before baptism. These days are special, so you should not scatter your attention on other, even very important, problems. It is worth devoting this time to spiritual and moral reflections, avoiding fuss, empty talk, participation in various entertainments. It must be remembered that baptism, like the other sacraments, is great and holy. It must be approached with the greatest awe and reverence. It is advisable to fast for 2-3 days, living in marriage the night before to refrain from marital relations. You need to be extremely clean and tidy for baptism. You can wear new fancy clothes. Women should not wear make-up, as they always do when visiting a temple.
There are many superstitions associated with the sacrament of baptism, which I would also like to touch on in this article. One of the most common superstitions is:
Can a girl be the first to baptize a girl? They say that if a girl is baptized first, and not a boy, then the godmother will give her her happiness ...
This statement is also a superstition that has no basis either in the Holy Scriptures or in church canons and traditions. And happiness, if it is deserved before God, will not go anywhere from a person.
Another strange thought that I have repeatedly heard:
Can a pregnant woman become a godmother? Would this affect her own child or godson in some way?
Of course. Such a delusion has nothing to do with church canons and traditions and is also superstition. Participation in church sacraments can only be to the benefit of the expectant mother. I also had to baptize pregnant women. Babies were born strong and healthy.
A lot of superstitions are associated with the so-called crossing. Moreover, the reasons for such a crazy action are sometimes indicated very bizarre and even funny. But most of these justifications are pagan and occult in origin. Here, for example, is one of the most common superstitions of occult origin:
Is it true that in order to remove the damage induced on a person, it is necessary to re-baptize, and keep the new name a secret so that new attempts at witchcraft do not work, because. conjure precisely in the name?
To be honest, hearing such statements, I want to laugh heartily. But, unfortunately, it's not funny. To what pagan denseness does an Orthodox person need to reach in order to decide that baptism is a kind of magical ritual, a kind of antidote for corruption. An antidote for some vague substance that no one even knows the definition of. What is this ghostly corruption? It is unlikely that anyone who is so afraid of her will be able to clearly answer this question. This is not surprising. Instead of looking for God in life and fulfilling His commandments, the "church" people with enviable zeal are looking for the mother of all evils in everything - damage. And where does it come from?
I will allow myself a small lyrical digression. A man is walking down the street, stumbled. All - jinxed! We urgently need to run to the temple to put a candle so that everything is fine and the evil eye passes. While walking to the temple, he stumbled again. Looks like they not only jinxed it, but also caused damage! Ooh, wicked! Well, nothing, now I will come to the temple, I will pray, I will buy candles, I will stick all the candlesticks, I will fight the corruption with all my might. The man ran to the temple, on the porch he again stumbled and fell. Everyone - lie down and die! Damage to death, a family curse, well, and there is some kind of disgusting thing there, I forgot the name, but also something very terrible. Cocktail "three in one"! Against this, candles and prayer will not help, this is a serious matter, an ancient voodoo spell! There is only one way out - to be baptized again, and only with a new name, so that when these very voodoo whispered their old name and stuck needles into dolls, all their spells flew by. They will not know the new name. And all witchcraft is done in the name, didn’t you know? What fun it will be when they whisper and conjure intensely there, and everything will fly by! Bang, bang and - by! Oh, it's good when there is baptism - a cure for all diseases!
This is how superstitions associated with re-baptism appear. But much more often, the sources of these superstitions are the figures of the occult sciences, i.e. fortunetellers, psychics, healers and other "gifted by God" personalities. These tireless "generators" of newfangled occult terminology use all sorts of tricks to seduce a person. Birth curses, and crowns of celibacy, and karmic knots of fate, translations, love spells with lapels and other occult nonsense are used. And all that needs to be done to get rid of all this is to cross yourself. And there was no damage. And laughter and sin! But many peck at these near-church tricks of "mothers Glafir" and "fathers Tikhonov", and run to the temple for re-baptism. It’s good if they tell them where they have such an ardent desire to cross themselves, and they will be denied this blasphemy, having previously explained what trips to the occultists are fraught with. And some do not even say that they have already been baptized and are baptized again. There are also those who are baptized several times, because. previous baptisms "didn't help". And they won't help! Greater blasphemy over the sacrament is difficult to imagine. After all, the Lord knows the heart of a person, knows about all his thoughts.
It is worth saying a few words about the name, which is so advised to change "good people." A person is given a name on the eighth day from birth, but since many do not know about this, basically a prayer for naming is read by a priest immediately before baptism. Surely everyone knows that the name is given to a person in honor of one of the saints. And it is this saint who is our patron and intercessor for us before God. And, of course, it seems that every Christian should call on his saint as often as possible and ask for his prayers before the throne of the Almighty. But what actually happens? Not only does a person neglect his name, but he also neglects his saint, in whose honor he is named. And instead of calling for help from his heavenly patron, his saint, at the moment of trouble or danger, he visits fortune-tellers and psychics. The “reward” for this will be appropriate.
There is another superstition related directly to the sacrament of baptism itself. Almost immediately after baptism, the rite of hair cutting follows. At the same time, the recipient is given a piece of wax, in which it is supposed to roll the cut hair. This wax receiver must throw into the water. This is where the fun begins. Not sure where the question comes from:
Is it true that if wax with cut hair sinks at baptism, then the life of the person being baptized will be short?
No, this is a superstition. According to the laws of physics, wax cannot sink in water at all. But if you throw it from a height with sufficient force, then at the first moment it will really go under water. Fortunately, if the superstitious godfather does not see this moment and "fortune telling on baptismal wax" will give a positive result. But, as soon as the godfather notices the moment the wax is immersed in water, lamentations immediately begin, and the newly-made Christian is almost buried alive. After that, it is sometimes difficult to get out of a state of terrible depression the parents of a child who are told about the “sign of God” seen at baptism. Of course, this superstition has no basis in church canons and traditions.
Summing up, I would like to note that baptism is a great sacrament, and the approach to it should be reverent and deliberate. It is sad to see people who have received the sacrament of baptism and continue to live their former sinful lives. Having been baptized, a person must remember that now he is an Orthodox Christian, a warrior of Christ, a member of the Church. It owes a lot. First of all, to love. Love for God and neighbor. So let each of us, regardless of when he was baptized, fulfill these commandments. Then we can hope that the Lord will lead us into the Kingdom of Heaven. That Kingdom, the path to which the sacrament of Baptism opens for us.
During The baptism of a child plays a big role in the godmother. She must take on her shoulders the main burden of responsibility for educating her godchild in the spirit of the Orthodox dogma. It takes a lot of effort on the one hand. On the other hand, when you love your godson or goddaughter, you get great pleasure if you perform it correctly.duties of a godmother . Now we will try to answer the most common questions,
What a godmother needs to know
Each godmother must prepare for her role in advance. The duty of the godmother to know not only those prayers that the priest requires during the preparatory interview,
but also to realize the meaning of the Sacrament of Baptism being performed. A godmother can only be an Orthodox Christian who has received Holy Baptism and is making efforts to live according to God's commandments. In most churches of the Russian Orthodox Church, the following prayers are required: To the King of Heaven; Virgin Mother of God, rejoice; Our Father. In addition, one must be able to read the Creed well. These prayers express the core of our faith. They must be known not only by the godmother, but by all Orthodox Christians. The first of the mentioned prayers is an appeal to the Holy Spirit, who imparts grace-giving life-giving power to everything. During the performance of Baptism, the Holy Spirit invisibly cleanses the soul of a person from sins, gives strength to bear the cross of life and overcome obstacles on the path to salvation.
The second prayer in Latin is "Ave Maria". It is often sung in different languages. With these words, the Archangel, sent by God, greeted the Blessed Virgin Mary. In it, we express our respect to the Mother of the Savior of all people.
The prayer "Our Father" is an appeal to the first person of the Most Holy Trinity, God the Father. This prayer was taught to people by the Savior Himself. It expresses the desire for a life pleasing to God, hope for His providence for each person.
The "Symbol of Faith" is read at the time of Baptism. It expresses the main dogmatic provisions of Orthodoxy. Godparents pronounce it on behalf of a little Christian. At this point, it appears that they will later have to teach the child this conscious confession.
The duties of the godmother include the understanding that raising a child in the Orthodox faith in our time is a very hard work that is impossible to do on your own. You need to ask God for help, give thanks for everything and understand that everything is possible for a believer with God's help.
What should a godmother do
Godmother 
should help, as far as possible, parents prepare for the Sacrament of Baptism and the celebration of christening. Her duties include not only going through a special interview before Baptism herself, but also preparing gifts for the godchild. It can be a cross with a chain, a baptismal set or an icon of the baby's patron saint. In each individual case, everything is decided individually, agreed with the parents of the godchild.
The godmother must do everything in her power to ensure that a true Christian grows out of her godchild, ready to confess her faith in all words and deeds.
Responsibilities of a Godmother at Baptism
If you have a happy opportunity to be a godmother, then you should not worry about your duties during the Sacrament of Baptism. The most important duty of the godmother during this Sacrament is to pray from the bottom of her heart that your godchild will be able to receive Divine grace during this Sacrament, so that the angelic purity of his soul is preserved, so that the Lord will give strength and wisdom to you and the blood parents of the child to raise him in the right direction, according to the teachings of the Church.
During the Baptism of the girl, the godmother usually takes the baby into her arms after immersing herself in the font. When a boy is baptized, the reverse situation occurs. The priest can ask you to read the “Symbol of Faith” prayer. An important point for the psychological comfort of the baby is the experience of communicating with his future godmother before Baptism. If this experience is quite large, then the stress for the baby during Baptism will be much less. You need to be ready to change the baby, if necessary, pump.
Godmother duties after Baptism
After Baptism, a festive feast, the so-called Baptism, is usually performed. It can be difficult for parents to prepare everything in a timely manner. A small child requires constant attention. If the godmother helps look after
for his godson, will take over the preparation of one or more dishes, then it will be much easier for the parents of the baby. During the Christening, the godmother can help serve and care for the guests, say congratulations and joyful words to her godson and his parents. After the feast, it would be nice to help clean everything up, put the child to bed. In the future, pay as much attention as possible to the development of your child in all areas. You can take your child to Sunday school, and then discuss the material covered, pray together and attend divine services, participate in the Sacraments of Confession and Communion, travel to holy places and celebrate his birthdays, Angel Days, major church holidays. Thus, before you, dear godmother, a wide field of opportunities opens up for you to use your creative potential and discover the depths of a loving heart!
The duties of a godmother continue throughout the life of the godmother and her godchild. For their conscientious fulfillment, the Lord can vouchsafe eternal life and sweet bliss in heavenly abodes.
Realizing the high degree of responsibility to the Lord and neighbors that the godmother bears, you should not avoid this cross. On the contrary, one should strive to fulfill one's duties with a clear conscience. May the Lord Himself and the Most Holy Theotokos help you in this difficult but grace-filled work!
According to the custom of the Russian Orthodox Church, one godfather of the same sex is enough for the baptism of a child, for a girl - a godmother, for a boy - a godfather. But at the request of the parents, there can be two godparents. The godfather of the font will be the godfather of the same sex with the child, and the duties of godparents will be divided in half.
When choosing a godfather for your son, you should think seriously: how do you want to see your child in the future, what masculine character traits to develop in him over time, and in general, what is behind the words “to be a Christian” for you? The godfather can provide invaluable assistance in raising a son. It is important to remember that the godfather and the godson must trust each other, be friends. Experienced priests advise choosing godparents who successfully raise their own children.
A good godfather has a lot to learn, but he himself knows how and loves to teach. Remember that the godfather is called to help in the Christian upbringing of the child, and not just to support the family in different situations. Ideally, the godfather should be an example for the whole family - in faith, honesty, kindness. Another important circumstance is that it is desirable that the godfather should not be a novice in the church, he should understand well the meaning of church life, know and love the services in the church.
Spiritual kinship is a strong connection between two souls for life. By finding a worthy godfather for your child, you will give him an invaluable gift that he will appreciate when he becomes an adult.
What do you need to prepare the godfather for the rite of Baptism
The godfather chooses in advance and buys for the future godson a pectoral cross, a chain for it, or a cord for a baby. Also, ahead of time it is worth taking care of purchasing the baptismal icon of the Guardian Angel. It is also customary to give for Baptism an icon of the patron saint of the child, in whose honor the name is given in baptism. It can be bought, by agreement, by the child's parents or godparents.
Godparents can order for a child on the day of Epiphany a measured icon - an icon of the patron saint, the length of which is equal to the height of the child at birth. A measured icon is a valuable gift and a special blessing from godparents at christening.
Traditionally, the godmother buys baptismal clothes - a shirt and a diaper with a cross. In the case when the boy has one godfather, baptismal accessories can be chosen together with the baby's mother - the mother always knows better what is best for the child. For the baptism of a boy, you will need a white shirt and a christening diaper or a large, white, new towel, in which the godson is taken from the font. As a gift to the godson's family, you can present any icons. If there are no icons at all in the apartment of young parents, then it will be very good if the godfather gives them the main holy images that should be in the house of every believer - the icons of the Savior and the Mother of God.
The care of the godfather is to give the child a Children's Bible. This can be done on the day of Epiphany or during the first year of the baby's life, by any holiday date. A good gift for christening would be any spiritual literature for family reading, as well as a prayer book with prayers for children, in a good, leather binding, gift edition.
When preparing for Baptism, you will need to talk with the priest and find out what else is needed to perform the ceremony in the church - how many candles will be needed, what icons can be put on the lectern, etc. All this should be known in advance so as not to fuss and waste time in solemn day. The duties of the godfather also include paying for the rite of baptism in the temple.
What should godfathers do during the sacrament of baptism
During the rite of baptism, the godfather holds the child in his arms, if it is a baby, starting from about two years old, the children stand on their own, in front of the godfather, while reading prayers.
After the vows of denial from the evil forces that the godfather gives for the child, the Creed prayer is read. This prayer is read by heart by the godfather, as a sign of confession of faith and guarantee for the baby.
Before immersion in the font, the godfather releases the child from the diapers, or helps the baby to take off his clothes, and hands him over to the priest for immersion. The godfather takes the child from the font into the white baptismal linen, in the old days called "rozka" or "kryzhma". The priest, with the help of the godfather, dresses the newly baptized in a white christening shirt. At the end of the sacrament, the godfather with a child in his arms goes around the lectern three times, the Gospel is read, the rite of hair cutting is performed, as a sign of the godson's surrender to the will of God.
Personal preparation for the christening for the godfather
According to the rules of the Russian Orthodox Church, the godparents and parents of the child must attend a mandatory course of catechumens before baptism. Each temple has its own procedure for holding catechumens. You can find out about this at the candlestick when signing up for baptism.
Baptism is the great sacrament of the Orthodox Church. It is necessary to prepare for it by fasting, confession and communion in order to participate in the sacrament with a renewed and pure soul. You can take communion at the Sunday service, on the eve of baptism. In many churches, it is customary for children to be baptized on Sundays, after the Liturgy.
If you are participating in the sacrament of Baptism for the first time, you need to get acquainted with the rites of the sacrament - what sacred actions and prayers are performed and in what order, what the godfather has to do during the ceremony. You can talk about this with the priest during catechumens or personally, in the temple.
Responsibilities of a godfather
The main thing is to be an example of worthy male behavior. To do this, it is necessary to communicate with the godson more often, when he grows up, to talk on various topics. Christian upbringing assumes that the godparents will periodically go to church with the child, explain in an accessible language the essence of what is happening in the church, and make sure that the godson regularly confesses and takes communion.
You need to be ready to help with advice to parents in any difficult situation, and if necessary - financially. When the child becomes a schoolboy, godparents enroll him in Sunday school.
In old Russia, there was a custom according to which it was the godparents who were engaged in choosing an educational institution for the child, and then they helped in arranging their personal life.
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