Anthony de Mello

Awareness

PREFACE

Tony de Mello was once asked to give a short definition of his activities. He stood up and told a story, which he later mentioned more than once at seminars. To my great surprise, this story, which he recounted in his book “Why does the bird sing?” (“The Song of the Bird”), Tony dedicated to me.

“Once upon a time, a peasant found an eagle’s egg and placed it on a brood hen. The eaglet hatched from the egg at the same time as the chickens and grew up among them. He was sure that he was no different from domestic chickens, and behaved like them. In search of worms and bugs, he rummaged in the ground, clucking and clucking. He flapped his wings and could fly a meter or two through the air.

Many years later; the eagle has grown old. One day, high in the sky, he saw a magnificent bird. Almost without moving her powerful golden wings, she soared majestically among the omnipotent winds. The old eagle froze in awe: “Who is this?” he asked. “This is the eagle, the king of birds,” they answered him. - His home is the sky. And we are chickens; our home is the earth.” This eagle died as a chicken because he considered himself one.”

Are you surprised? At first I was terribly offended. Did he publicly call me a chicken? Yes and no. Did he want to insult me? In no case. Tony never insulted anyone. But he made it clear that he sees us all as “golden eagles” who do not realize what heights we can achieve. The story of the little eagle opened my eyes to the true scale of this man, to his genuine love and respect for people - he always told the truth. This was his job - to awaken people and help them realize the greatness of man. This was the strength of Tony de Mello - he brought “awareness” to people; he saw the light - after all, we shine for ourselves and for those around us; he understood that in fact each of us is better than he thinks about himself.

This book was written in flight - in a live dialogue with the audience. Tony talks about what can bring life into the hearts of his listeners.

Tony's death challenged me to preserve the spirit of his living words and convey to a sensitive audience his direct approach to life. Thanks to the invaluable help of George McCauley, Joan Brady, John Culkin and many other people - it is simply impossible to list them all - Tony's fascinating, mesmerizing, provocative speeches were captured on paper.

Enjoy this book. Open your soul and listen with your heart, as Tony would say. Listen to what he tells you, and soon you will be able to tell people your own story. Let me leave you alone with spirit guide Tony; he will become your friend for life.

J. Francis Stroud, Jesuit

Spiritual Center de Mello

Fordham University

Bronx, New York

AWAKENING

Spirituality involves being awake. Throughout our lives, most of us sleep soundly. People are born, live, get married, have children, die - and all this in a dream. They, who never woke up, will never comprehend the beauty and charm of human life. It is no secret that all initiates - be they Catholic Christians or adherents of some other religions - are unanimous in one thing: everything is good in the world, everything is in order. There is chaos everywhere, but everything is in order. Quite a strange paradox. Unfortunately, most people don't realize that "everything is okay" just because we're all asleep. And we see a nightmare.

A year ago, in some program on Spanish television, I heard an interesting story. The father knocks on his son’s room: “Jame, wake up!” “I don’t want to, dad!” - he answers. “It’s time for you to go to school, get up!” - the father shouts. “I don’t want to go to school,” James replies. "Why?" “For three reasons,” says the son. “Firstly, it’s very boring there, secondly, they tease me there, and thirdly, I just hate this school.” “Then I will give you three reasons why you should go to school. First of all, it is your responsibility. Secondly, you are already forty-five years old. And thirdly, you are the school principal.” Get up, wake up! You have already grown up. You're old enough to stay awake. Wake up! Leave the toys for the children.

Don't believe anyone who says that he supposedly doesn't mind growing up. Don't believe it! The only thing people want is for their favorite toys to be repaired. “Give me my wife back. Get your work and money back. Give me back my good name and past successes." That's what they need - to take possession of their toys again. And nothing more. Any psychologist will confirm this: in fact, people do not want complete healing. They want only consolation; the treatment brings a lot of pain.

You yourself know how much you don’t want to wake up in the morning. It's so warm and cozy under the blanket. Someone wakes you up - and you feel nothing but irritation. This is why a wise teacher never wakes up those who are sleeping. Desiring to get closer to wisdom, I will not even try to awaken you from sleep. This is not my plan, although sometimes I cry, “Awake!” My task is to do my job, lead my musical party. If you manage to take advantage of my work - great, if you fail - accept my condolences! As the Arabic proverb says, “garden roses and marsh thorns are nourished by the same rain.”

CAN I BE HELPED TO YOU?

Did you feel like I wanted to help someone? Not at all! No no and one more time no! I'm not going to help anyone. I'm not going to do any harm. If something went to your benefit or harm, it means that you helped or harmed yourself - you and only you! Do you think people are helping you? Nothing happened. Do they support you? Also no.

A nun was a participant in one of my psychotherapy seminars. One day she complained:

I don't feel any support from the Mother Superior at all.

What do you have in mind? - I asked.

I train novices, and she never comes to us. I have never heard a kind word from her.

I answered like this:

Let's play a little scene. Let's say I personally know your abbess. And I know how she feels about you. And on behalf of your abbess I tell you: “You know, Mary, why I don’t come to you? Because I am completely calm about your work - unlike others, you cope with your responsibilities perfectly. You’re in charge here, which means I have nothing to worry about.” How do you like this?

I like it very much,” answered the nun.

That’s good,” I continued. - Now could you step out for a minute? This is also one of the rules of the game.

When she left, I told the others my plan:

I'm still the Mother Superior, okay? And Mary, who just came out, is the worst teacher of converts in the entire history of our diocese. And I don’t go to her novices because looking at her work is beyond my strength. It's just awful. I also can’t talk to her frankly - this will only make things worse for the novices. We are preparing a new person to take her place - he will be able to start working in a year or two. Now I will express all this to Mary in order to somehow support her. What do you say to this?

“This is really the best thing that can be done in this situation,” answered the seminar participants.

I invited Mary into the room and once again inquired about her mood.

“I’m in an excellent mood,” she replied.

Poor Mary! She was sure that we sympathized with her. But the whole point is that many of our thoughts and sensations are nothing more than a game of our imagination. This also applies to beliefs about outside help.

Do you believe that your help to people is due to your love for them? Then I have news for you. A person will never become the object of your love. You can only love the subjective and hopeful image of a person. Just think about it: you love not a person, but an image you have invented. Remember how love goes away. The image is changing, isn't it? “I trusted you so much, and you left me. How could you?" - you tell her. Have you ever truly trusted anyone? To no one ever. Completeness! This is all part of the public brainwashing program. You don't trust anyone and rely only on your own judgment. So what are you complaining about? You simply don’t have the courage to say to yourself: “All my assessments are empty.” That's not very flattering, is it? And you choose the option: “How could you do this?”

So it turns out that people don’t really want to grow, they don’t want to truly change, they don’t want to be truly happy. I was once given some sage advice: “Unless you're looking for trouble, don't try to make them happy. Don't teach a pig to sing - you'll just waste your time. And make the pig angry." I’m like that gentleman who walked into a bar, made himself comfortable and suddenly saw a banana in the ear of his neighbor at the table - a banana in the ear! The gentleman thinks: “I should tell the guy about the banana. No, it’s none of my business.” However, the thought of a banana haunts him. And so, after drinking a glass or two, he turns to the young man: “Excuse me, but it’s in your ear - just think! - banana." "What?" - the young man asks. "You have a banana in your ear." "What did you say?" - the neighbor asks again. "Banana in the ear!" - the gentleman shouts. “Speak louder,” the guy asks, “I have a banana in my ear!”

A little about the author

In the suburbs of Bombay on September 4, 1931, Tony de Mello was born, the son of Indian Catholics, whose cultural and spiritual tradition dates back more than four hundred years. This fact greatly influenced the boy; from childhood he wanted to become a clergyman.

Tony's training began at the Jesuit seminary, which he would later head. In the mid-50s, Anthony studied Spanish philosophy. We can say that during this period the young priest’s internal picture of the world changes. The young man leaves the Jesuit order and becomes a religious liberal.

Anthony de Mello studied Eastern religions and psychology. Such a diverse study of human life allowed him to combine all the most important aspects of each approach. In his works one can find oriental parables, Christian stories, examples of psychological therapy.

Yes, the book will not give you direct answers. Like any other work on self-knowledge and self-improvement. The author offers options, gives tips, and carefully guides. No more.

The originality of the book

Why then do I recommend it so much, you ask, and this question will be completely justified. “Awareness” provides an opportunity, and it is up to the reader to decide whether to take advantage of it or not. This work will be useful to those readers who are ready to work, toil, practice, and try something new. It will be hard for those who are sitting on the couch waiting for a miracle. Believe me, this doesn't happen.

I would advise you to get a notebook and pen, which will always be at hand while reading the book. And the moment a thought comes to you, be sure to write it down. When you finish reading the book itself, look through all your notes and see how many new and interesting things came into your head.

The uniqueness of the book is that it sets a direction. Much may already seem familiar to you, and that’s great. You realize something for the first time and that’s also wonderful. Don’t forget that you need to go through a rather thorny path, discover your secret fears, admit your own, and get to the bottom of old grievances.

The main thing is not to be afraid of anything and boldly move forward. And Anthony will help you with this. At the very least, it will cheer you up and make you smile, because the book is written in a kind way.

You can download the book Here.

Please, when you read the book, be sure to share your emotions and impressions. Tell other readers what amazed you, what surprised you, what you were able to realize. Don't stand aside, because your comment can help another person.

Best wishes to you!

Annotation

The books of the world famous Indian Jesuit priest Anthony de Mello are popular and loved in many countries. The harmonious combination of elements of Christian spiritual culture, Buddhist parables, Hindu breathing exercises and bright philosophical insights turns his brilliant sermons into a real revelation. “Awareness” is a call to awaken from the nightmare we call reality and rediscover the happiness of authentic life. Fascinating, temperamental and paradoxical, de Mello's book is an effective cure for boredom and disappointment.

Anthony de Mello
Awareness

PREFACE

Tony de Mello was once asked to give a short definition of his activities. He stood up and told a story, which he later mentioned more than once at seminars. To my great surprise, this story, which he recounted in his book “Why does the bird sing?” (“The Song of the Bird”), Tony dedicated to me.

“Once upon a time, a peasant found an eagle’s egg and placed it on a brood hen. The eaglet hatched from the egg at the same time as the chickens and grew up among them. He was sure that he was no different from domestic chickens, and behaved like them. In search of worms and bugs, he rummaged in the ground, clucking and clucking. He flapped his wings and could fly a meter or two through the air.

Many years later; the eagle has grown old. One day, high in the sky, he saw a magnificent bird. Almost without moving her powerful golden wings, she soared majestically among the omnipotent winds. The old eagle froze in awe: “Who is this?” he asked. “This is the eagle, the king of birds,” they answered him. - His home is the sky. And we are chickens; our home is the earth.” This eagle died as a chicken because he considered himself one.”

Are you surprised? At first I was terribly offended. Did he publicly call me a chicken? Yes and no. Did he want to insult me? In no case. Tony never insulted anyone. But he made it clear that he sees us all as “golden eagles” who do not realize what heights we can achieve. The story of the little eagle opened my eyes to the true scale of this man, to his genuine love and respect for people - he always told the truth. This was his job - to awaken people and help them realize the greatness of man. This was the strength of Tony de Mello - he brought “awareness” to people; he saw the light - after all, we shine for ourselves and for those around us; he understood that in fact each of us is better than he thinks about himself.

This book was written in flight - in a live dialogue with the audience. Tony talks about what can bring life into the hearts of his listeners.

Tony's death challenged me to preserve the spirit of his living words and convey to a sensitive audience his direct approach to life. Thanks to the invaluable help of George McCauley, Joan Brady, John Culkin and many other people - it is simply impossible to list them all - Tony's fascinating, mesmerizing, provocative speeches were captured on paper.

Yesterday I finished reading the book Anthony de Mello "Awareness". I would like to leave a few words about her on my blog. I read quite a lot, despite the fact that the child takes up almost all of my time. That’s why I’m starting a new column, “Book Review.”

This book is a masterpiece. Every chapter is a masterpiece. This book is very powerful in bringing awareness. Of course, I wouldn't recommend reading it to everyone. It is written in very simple language, there are many funny jokes with meaning, a lot of humor... It is amazing how Anthony de Mello talks about awareness. Easy and fun. And in every word the main thing is heard: wake up!

Wake up! The author constantly calls on us to wake up, throw away our attitudes and illusions... He says that we were given an old piece of newspaper and were told that it was a check for a million dollars. We don't need to convince ourselves to throw away this piece of paper. We just need to open our eyes and see that our burden is actually of no value. And then we will easily discard it... And forget.

Anthony de Mello's book "Awareness" - for trained people. No, not for some super-experts... But for those who are already interested in the topic of awareness. For those who have already begun to take the first steps on this path... Or really want to start. At first I thought that “Awareness” would be interesting and understandable to absolutely all people - after all, Anthony de Mello’s language is so simple and understandable... He is not at all like most books about meditation and Zen... Even Osho is much more difficult to perceive than “ Awareness". But then I tried to recommend this book to several friends... Just like that, without introductory lectures. They either didn’t understand anything, or they understood it somehow very poorly. However, I recommended Mindfulness to Anthony de Mello and two other people who are already more or less familiar with the topic of mindfulness. These people liked the book.

Of course, it is impossible to create a book that will appeal to absolutely everyone. Because different words affect different people. Some people just need to be told “Wake up!” twenty times, others need to hear complex, detailed explanations of what mindfulness is. Anthony de Mello talks about mindfulness in an easy, fun way, with deep stories, anecdotes, vivid examples and comparisons... This is a very bright and interesting book. It is this kind of joyful awareness that awakens most powerfully... At the moment I do not know a book that can compare in power to this one. Of course, my opinion is subjective, I’m only talking about the influence of the book on myself... But maybe Anthony de Mello’s book “Awareness” will also be useful for you?

I think you should definitely try reading it. Moreover, it is freely available on the Internet. I downloaded it from the Cube library.

If you have already read Awareness, please leave a review as well. Did you like the book? Did she help you change? Maybe you can recommend some other book on this topic?

Tony de Mello was once asked to give a short definition of his activities. He stood up and told a story, which he later mentioned more than once at seminars. To my great surprise, this story, which he recounted in his book “Why does the bird sing?” (“The Song of the Bird”), Tony dedicated to me.

“Once upon a time, a peasant found an eagle’s egg and placed it on a brood hen. The eaglet hatched from the egg at the same time as the chickens and grew up among them. He was sure that he was no different from domestic chickens, and behaved like them. In search of worms and bugs, he rummaged in the ground, clucking and clucking. He flapped his wings and could fly a meter or two through the air.

Many years later; the eagle has grown old. One day, high in the sky, he saw a magnificent bird. Almost without moving her powerful golden wings, she soared majestically among the omnipotent winds. The old eagle froze in awe: “Who is this?” he asked. “This is the eagle, the king of birds,” they answered him. - His home is the sky. And we are chickens; our home is the earth.” This eagle died as a chicken because he considered himself one.”

Are you surprised? At first I was terribly offended. Did he publicly call me a chicken? Yes and no. Did he want to insult me? In no case. Tony never insulted anyone. But he made it clear that he sees us all as “golden eagles” who do not realize what heights we can achieve. The story of the little eagle opened my eyes to the true scale of this man, to his genuine love and respect for people - he always told the truth. This was his job - to awaken people and help them realize the greatness of man. This was the strength of Tony de Mello - he brought “awareness” to people; he saw the light - after all, we shine for ourselves and for those around us; he understood that in fact each of us is better than he thinks about himself.

This book was written in flight - in a live dialogue with the audience. Tony talks about what can bring life into the hearts of his listeners.

Tony's death challenged me to preserve the spirit of his living words and convey to a sensitive audience his direct approach to life. Thanks to the invaluable help of George McCauley, Joan Brady, John Culkin and many other people - it is simply impossible to list them all - Tony's fascinating, mesmerizing, provocative speeches were captured on paper.

Enjoy this book. Open your soul and listen with your heart, as Tony would say. Listen to what he tells you, and soon you will be able to tell people your own story. Let me leave you alone with spirit guide Tony; he will become your friend for life.

J. Francis Stroud, Jesuit

Spiritual Center de Mello

Fordham University

Bronx, New York

AWAKENING

Spirituality involves being awake. Throughout our lives, most of us sleep soundly. People are born, live, get married, have children, die - and all this in a dream. They, who never woke up, will never comprehend the beauty and charm of human life. It is no secret that all initiates - be they Catholic Christians or adherents of some other religions - are unanimous in one thing: everything is good in the world, everything is in order. There is chaos everywhere, but everything is in order. Quite a strange paradox. Unfortunately, most people don't realize that "everything is okay" just because we're all asleep. And we see a nightmare.

A year ago, in some program on Spanish television, I heard an interesting story. The father knocks on his son’s room: “Jame, wake up!” “I don’t want to, dad!” - he answers. “It’s time for you to go to school, get up!” - the father shouts. “I don’t want to go to school,” James replies. "Why?" “For three reasons,” says the son. “Firstly, it’s very boring there, secondly, they tease me there, and thirdly, I just hate this school.” “Then I will give you three reasons why you should go to school. First of all, it is your responsibility. Secondly, you are already forty-five years old. And thirdly, you are the school principal.” Get up, wake up! You have already grown up. You're old enough to stay awake. Wake up! Leave the toys for the children.

Don't believe anyone who says that he supposedly doesn't mind growing up. Don't believe it! The only thing people want is for their favorite toys to be repaired. “Give me my wife back. Get your work and money back. Give me back my good name and past successes." That's what they need - to take possession of their toys again. And nothing more. Any psychologist will confirm this: in fact, people do not want complete healing. They want only consolation; the treatment brings a lot of pain.

You yourself know how much you don’t want to wake up in the morning. It's so warm and cozy under the blanket. Someone wakes you up - and you feel nothing but irritation. This is why a wise teacher never wakes up those who are sleeping. Desiring to get closer to wisdom, I will not even try to awaken you from sleep. This is not my plan, although sometimes I cry, “Awake!” My task is to do my job, lead my musical party. If you manage to take advantage of my work - great, if you fail - accept my condolences! As the Arabic proverb says, “garden roses and marsh thorns are nourished by the same rain.”

CAN I BE HELPED TO YOU?

Did you feel like I wanted to help someone? Not at all! No no and one more time no! I'm not going to help anyone. I'm not going to do any harm. If something went to your benefit or harm, it means that you helped or harmed yourself - you and only you! Do you think people are helping you? Nothing happened. Do they support you? Also no.

A nun was a participant in one of my psychotherapy seminars. One day she complained:

I don't feel any support from the Mother Superior at all.

What do you have in mind? - I asked.

I train novices, and she never comes to us. I have never heard a kind word from her.

I answered like this:

Let's play a little scene. Let's say I personally know your abbess. And I know how she feels about you. And on behalf of your abbess I tell you: “You know, Mary, why I don’t come to you? Because I am completely calm about your work - unlike others, you cope with your responsibilities perfectly. You’re in charge here, which means I have nothing to worry about.” How do you like this?

I like it very much,” answered the nun.

That’s good,” I continued. - Now could you step out for a minute? This is also one of the rules of the game.

When she left, I told the others my plan:

I'm still the Mother Superior, okay? And Mary, who just came out, is the worst teacher of converts in the entire history of our diocese. And I don’t go to her novices because looking at her work is beyond my strength. It's just awful. I also can’t talk to her frankly - this will only make things worse for the novices. We are preparing a new person to take her place - he will be able to start working in a year or two. Now I will express all this to Mary in order to somehow support her. What do you say to this?

“This is really the best thing that can be done in this situation,” answered the seminar participants.

I invited Mary into the room and once again inquired about her mood.

“I’m in an excellent mood,” she replied.

Poor Mary! She was sure that we sympathized with her. But the whole point is that many of our thoughts and sensations are nothing more than a game of our imagination. This also applies to beliefs about outside help.

Do you believe that your help to people is due to your love for them? Then I have news for you. A person will never become the object of your love. You can only love the subjective and hopeful image of a person. Just think about it: you love not a person, but an image you have invented. Remember how love goes away. The image is changing, isn't it? “I trusted you so much, and you left me. How could you?" - you tell her. Have you ever truly trusted anyone? To no one ever. Completeness! This is all part of the public brainwashing program. You don't trust anyone and rely only on your own judgment. So what are you complaining about? You simply don’t have the courage to say to yourself: “All my assessments are empty.” That's not very flattering, is it? And you choose the option: “How could you do this?”