Somehow, you have to figure out for yourself whether you really want to do this. You can only respond to an offer when you have clearly decided whether you need it or not. Tell yourself: "No, I don't need this!"
Say no to your interlocutor. Don't be afraid to offend the person. If you do everything right, then resentment or obvious anger will not follow. Give reasons for your refusal. Please provide information on which you cannot or do not want to fulfill the request. When speaking, use the pronoun "I" more often. Speak clearly without confusion. No, just argue!
What is the reason for the refusal? The reason can be both real and fictional. However, remember that it must be clear to the interlocutor. He must agree with you and accept your refusal. Don't be rude or harsh. Speak calmly, fix your gaze on the bridge of the interlocutor's nose. A running glance and uncertainty can make it clear to the other person that you are uncomfortable, and he will put pressure on you.
Refuse by doing. When refusing, tell the other person something nice. For example, you might say, "Great idea, but ...". The person must understand that you want to fulfill his request and, if not for the circumstances, you would certainly have complied with it.
Repeat your refusal. Psychologists say that a person needs to hear a refusal three times before he realizes that it is no longer possible to get consent. Be. Respond to all persuasions with a firm refusal. Be calm and in control.
Train with your friends. Ask a friend to pester you with any request. Refuse him. Ask him to point out your shortcomings and mistakes in refusal: a shifting look, an uncertain voice,. Over time, rejections will become much easier for you.
Useful advice
Remember: when you refuse a person, you do not deliberately offend him, but do what you need.
Sources:
- Encyclopedia of Practical Psychology
Instructions
Start simple - be aware of the problem. Without this, it will be impossible to change the situation. Try to understand how selfless your relationship is. If you analyze it, it's not hard to see the motives behind your friend, lover, or colleague.
Try to identify moments that seem suspicious to you, and then gently and tactfully close in any small detail. After that, observe his reaction. If the person doesn't pay special attention to what happened, your relationship is not in danger. But if a person shows and tries to get something from you again, it is better to tune in in advance for a quick break
Many job seekers are interested in how to refuse an employer after an interview. Such a need arises when a person has applied for employment in different companies and several of them have agreed at once. The article will tell you how to behave so as not to look ignorant.
How to tactfully refuse a job
Many job seekers hope that the company will call, and then they will talk about the rejection. This option is not the best, because there is a possibility of looking like an irresponsible candidate in the eyes of the employer.
You can notify that the vacancy is no longer of interest in different ways:
- by phone;
- in person;
- in writing.
Whichever one is chosen, it is important to do it tactfully.
Failure scheme
In order for everything to go smoothly, you must adhere to certain rules:
- Sincerely thank the company for the offer.
- Briefly and clearly explain the refusal.
- Express regret for having to resign.
- Wish you success in finding candidates.
Recommendations will help you no longer worry about how to refuse an employer after an interview. The proposed scheme, if used correctly, will help to remain a decent and tactful person in the eyes of the company.
How to resign from a proposed position
The plan of the actions described below is quite simple. The main thing is not to ignore the employer and notify him in time so that he continues to search for a suitable candidate.
The rules described below will help you understand the question of how to refuse an employer after an interview. An example of reasoned answers that will suit any employer is presented below.
We offer 7 important components that you should adhere to when meeting in person:
- Express appreciation for your time. Undoubtedly, in this situation, resources were spent on studying the questionnaires of candidates and among them the most suitable were selected. You should definitely thank for this and answer all your questions.
- In no case should managers be forced to speculate about rejection. It is important for the company to know the true reason. Perhaps this will help the organization in the future to be more careful about possible candidates for a certain position.
- It is important to be short and honest when describing the reason for rejection. All of the parties to the interaction spent a lot of time, so it is imperative to say the reason.
- The explanation shouldn't take long. Better to answer simply, to the point and admit that you have considered other options.
- It is also worth being polite because if other options do not work, there is a chance to return to this company and be sure that they will be accepted here.
- Try to maintain a good relationship with the employer. It will not be superfluous to wish him all the best. The professional world is not that big. Perhaps in the near future you will have to meet at a conference or somewhere else. If you do not neglect this advice, then you can find useful connections.
- Relevant in this case is a strategy that is compared to a sandwich. It involves first delivering good news, then bad news and good news again. This behavior is very effective in dealing with people. It will allow you to appear in front of other people as a responsible and serious person who conducts business diplomatically.
If you follow the described tips, this question will no longer seem so difficult. After that, the employer will have a good impression of the applicant.
How to refuse in writing
No less often, applicants refuse a certain vacancy in writing. You can write an email to the hiring manager.
“Dear _______________________!
I am very grateful that you have chosen me for the position of _____________. I'm sorry, but I have already found a suitable vacancy in another organization, where at the moment everything suits me. I refuse your offer. It was nice to meet you and your staff.
Regards, ___________
Date _________ Signature ____________________ "
What to do
It is also useful to familiarize yourself with what you should not do when talking with an employer. Here are some tips on this:
- In no case should you ignore your employer. He has the right to timely find out the decision of the applicant.
- You can't keep silent and not answer phone calls. Often, job seekers do this because they feel embarrassed to admit that they have found a more suitable position or place of work. Some do not know how to refuse an employer after a telephone interview, so they do not get in touch.
Ignoring the decision indicates the incorrectness and shortsightedness of the candidate. The data about the applicant goes to the database of recruiting agencies. The likelihood that other employers will pay attention to such a candidate is extremely small.
After personal communication with company representatives, the information is stored in the database for a certain time. Companies often exchange jobseeker data with each other, so it's helpful to think about the conversation plan ahead of time.
How to explain the refusal
There are a lot of reasons to refuse the offered position. They are different for everyone. It is important to present the information correctly in order to leave an opinion about yourself as a respectable person and a competent candidate. The tips below provide reasons for resigning that employers will perceive positively. They will demonstrate how to politely refuse an employer after an interview while maintaining a good relationship.
- Not being able to work overtime is the real reason for rejection. Any employer will take this adequately.
- If the salary level is significantly lower than what the candidate can agree to, then this will be a good reason.
- If there is no career prospects, the applicant can refuse the offer without remorse.
- The proposed regime does not always suit applicants. Often when looking for a job, this is the main point.
- Although it is tactless to talk about it directly, it happens that at first glance you did not like the company itself or its leader. For this reason, many people refuse the vacancy immediately after the interview, but it is not worth talking about it openly. Better to say another more objective reason.
In this situation, the main thing is not to ignore the employer and inform about your decision in time.
How to refuse an offer from an employer
It does not matter in what form the applicant refuses, it is worth considering in advance how to refuse the employer after the interview. The expert tips below will help you do this competently and tactfully:
- Be as honest as possible during the conversation. If this is an email, try to communicate your thoughts in a way that makes the employer feel respectful when reading it.
- During the dialogue, you need to be open. It is important to correctly reason the refusal of the vacancy.
- Completely discard negativity during the conversation.
- There is nothing wrong with the fact that the applicant will tell the true reason for the refusal, for example, that it is inconvenient for him to get to work or is not satisfied with the salary.
- If you are not satisfied with the functionality, it is important to explain in an accessible and clear way what the applicant plans to do in a new job.
- Whatever the reason for the refusal, the employer has the right to know it in order not to take the decision made by the applicant personally.
- It's important to be honest and admit that you are considering multiple jobs. Having warned the employer about this, then it will be easier to conduct a conversation.
If the applicant is honest and frank in a personal interview, the employer greatly appreciates this. Even after refusal, he will offer to take the position if further job searches are unsuccessful.
Good day to you, our dear readers! Irina and Igor have prepared a new article for you. “No” is a very simple word, but as simple as it is, it can be difficult to pronounce. There is nothing wrong with helping your friends, relatives or colleagues with requests.
But our reliability often plays a "cruel joke" with us, accumulating a lump of worries and work "for others", forcing us to postpone what is important to us. Therefore, in today's article we will discuss how to learn how to properly refuse a person.
When is it hard to say no?
First, let's figure out in which situations it is difficult for us to refuse other people.
The most difficult thing is to refuse your loved ones or relatives, because this can offend someone from your relatives, there is a fear that they will stop communicating with you or the relationship will deteriorate.
It can be difficult to refuse a boss, even if you understand that his proposal or request is meaningless and will only become an unnecessary burden and a waste of working time. Most often, people are afraid to refuse their boss because of fear of dismissal or loss of bonuses.
It happens that people are afraid to refuse even unfamiliar people because of the fear of a possible conflict due to refusal.
Friends do not want to refuse, so as not to spoil the relationship and not be left alone.
In general, we are prevented from saying “no” by certain fears that we should learn to deal with.
Why is it so important to be able to say no?
At least, because trouble-free people are often ranked as weak-willed, and this does not bring advantages to their reputation. In addition, reliability often allows you to manipulate you, makes you adjust to other people, rather than find a consensus.
And, of course, because reliability can lead to the fact that you will sacrifice your more important things for the sake of other people's and not very important tasks. Ultimately, this lowers yours, and also delays the implementation of your primary goals.
Delicate refusal techniques
In order for your refusal not to look like "waving off an annoying fly", you must first listen to the person and evaluate the importance and your ability to fulfill his request.
At this stage, it is important to be able to estimate the amount of time it will take to fulfill this request, to estimate the amount of time you have, to be able to assess the importance of the problem for the “asking” and the importance of its implementation for you.
You can learn how to effectively evaluate your own and others' time, as well as to set priorities, using time management techniques, which you can learn on your own thanks to video courses:
- "Master of time - highly productive time management according to Evgeny Popov's system"
- "Time management, or how to improve your efficiency"
- Free online video course “Setting and achieving goals. How to achieve results in any business? "
You can also ask again and clarify some points of the request. This will make it clear to the interlocutor that you listened to him carefully, you “care”.
If you cannot immediately assess the resources expended and the importance of the problem is not possible, you can ask the interlocutor for time to think before making your decision. Perhaps fulfilling the request will have a number of advantages for yourself, if not, then you should proceed to refusal.
When refusing to friends and family, you can honestly describe your emotions and problems, why you cannot help them at the moment.
You have a lot of work, so you will not be able to come to the meeting, you have a large waste of money, so you cannot lend, you have important business negotiations scheduled for the morning, so you cannot meet a friend at the train station at night, and so on.
Do not hesitate to be honest, show sympathy and understanding, try to offer alternative ways out of the situation: meet later or on another day, contact the bank for a certain amount of money, call a taxi to the station at night.
In a situation when the interlocutor is trying to persuade you again to fulfill his request, stand your ground and say the same thing again, paraphrasing slightly, but leaving the general meaning.
In the event of a refusal, the management should justify its refusal.
It can be difficult, but learning how to do it will only increase your value as a "smart" employee.
If the manager wants to "hang" one or more responsibilities on you, then in case of refusal, you should list your current responsibilities or designate the main task, the solution of which you are currently engaged in. If your boss doesn't back down, ask him to help you prioritize the job.
So, the boss will understand how busy you are, or at least, this will provide a temporary opportunity to postpone the execution of a new assignment for the period when you are free from current issues.
In case of unreasonable requests from management, try to appeal by labor legislation or your job description. If it is difficult for you to speak directly, you can prepare a written refusal, this will greatly facilitate the task.
If a colleague refuses to help with his job duties, you can also refer to the workload or refuse without explaining the reasons, using the phrase: “I would like to help, but I cannot do it now”.
Be firm and do not succumb to persuasion, because having fulfilled someone else's duty once, you run the risk of fulfilling it "for life." 
You can also use the compromise "no" technique, in which case you agree to fulfill the request, but on your own terms, otherwise you refuse to fulfill the request.
For example, if a colleague asks for a ride to work, you can agree, while indicating that you will only give him a lift if he is waiting at the appointed place exactly at the appointed time, otherwise you have the right not to wait for him.
If you did not find a reflection of your problem in the above recommendations, we advise you to pay attention to the book by James Altusher and Claudia Azula Altusher "Learn to say" No " , which describes all kinds of methods and practices on how to learn how to properly refuse people.
Are you familiar with the impossibility of refusal problem? How do you approach its solution? Do you have your own routine phrases?
Best regards, Irina and Igor
Letova Olga
Your company can produce a great product at a fair price or provide the highest quality service, you can be polite and considerate towards your customers. But it doesn't matter, because customers will always find a reason to be dissatisfied.
The program freezes, the taxi is in a traffic jam, the courier is driving too slowly,"I thought it would be green, and this is the color of the sea wave", "can I get a discount not 10%, but at least 35%", "where is the moon from the sky for these couple of thousand?".
No, reciprocal rudeness, even if it seems to be an adequate response, is not an option. But in any case, you must learn to say “no” to clients, on the one hand, without a burning feeling of guilt and, on the other, without aggression.
We will tell you about ways to politely refuse that will help you cope with an awkward situation and shamelessly say “no” to the client without ruining your relationship with him.
Ask for clarification
Quite often, customer complaints are emotional, but not too meaningful:
“Your update sucks, what the fuck !!! Return everything as it was! ”,“ Where is that manager, his name seems to be Vasily, with whom I spoke on Wednesday? I want to work only with him, but I don't know you at all and I don't want to know! What do you mean quit? How can I be? ".
When customers behave this way, they at least give you the opportunity to ask a follow-up question, such as this:
“I'm sorry to hear that. Could you clarify what exactly you liked in the previous version, what you could not find after the update? Why did you like working with Vasily? If you explain, I will try to take this into account, and maybe it will become more convenient for you to work with our company. "
Of course, you will not replace the new version of the product with the old one, nor will you persuade the retired Vasily to come back, you will not even try. In this case, it doesn't matter.
You will give the client a reason to feel that his opinion is really important to you and your company cares about it.
By the way, it can be an added bonus that customer explanations will really help you solve their problem.
Promise the client to consider their request in the future
Too often, customers take the phrase too literally "every whim for your money" and want from your company what it cannot give them.
Pizza home delivery companies usually do not provide takeout or dog walking as an option. And pizza isn't always the same as rolls. Companies specializing in organizing children's parties rarely go in for bachelor parties, but sometimes the client does not think so.
Seemingly simple "No, we deliver pizza, not rolls"would be enough. But this is not entirely true, because
firstly , this upsets the client and reduces his potential loyalty (after all, someday he will want pizza),
and Secondly, you are depriving yourself of an additional and completely free marketing tool.
In order not to upset the client, you can answer something like this:
“Unfortunately, at the moment we are not engaged in the delivery of rolls, but we will definitely think about it. Our company closely monitors customer requests, and if there are enough requests like yours, we will revise our range in the future. "
The client is pleased to know that his request will not disappear and that they have paid attention to him, even if this is the type of client who is trying to order a striptease in an agency for organizing children's parties.
However, it's important to keep in mind that this polite refusal method only works if your company does is ready to change its product line based on customer requests.
But don't lie
As much as you want to reassure the client just to get rid of them here and now, don't do it. Avoid lies and empty promises.
You should not lie to the client that his request will be taken into account and considered, if you are not even going to share this information with those who make such decisions.
Deceiving a client is bad, not only because it is unethical, but also because people usually feel good about this kind of insincerity, and your cunning can turn against you.
Better to upset the customer and say no than to cheat by saying: "We will definitely consider your request." Because after a while, when you forget about him, either your unsuspecting colleague or, even worse, your boss will be in your place, the persistent client will call back and ask how things are going with his “Wishlist”.
Say no in other words
If you still need to deny a client's request, you can do it without ever using the word “no”.
Instead "No, we do not have and will not have a cake with a stripper." you can say “Yes, we understand that many people like striptease and grocery and that it would be an interesting move to combine them, but I'm afraid our company is not ready for this and it is unlikely that we will ever have this option” or "There is currently no way we can do this for you, but thanks for your time."
An honest but courteous response is more likely to leave the door open for future success and the client will not feel like they wasted time on you.
Make the client feel heard
Very often it is important for people to understand that their problem has been heard and understood. Simple tricks such as addressing a customer by name or a phrase like "I understand what you are talking about" continue to work.
Thank people for letting you know what they need. Whatever their problem, it is important that they take the time and turn to you, even if they do not distinguish rolls from pizza and do not understand that the call center operator will not solve their problems with low learning about new technologies.
By the way: answer quickly, but not too quickly, so as not to make the client unpleasantly suspect that you are doing it automatically, without even delving into his problem.
Suggest alternatives
If you are serious about maintaining customer loyalty to your company or to you personally over the long term, you should try to help them, even if there is no obvious benefit to you right now. Yes, you do not deliver rolls, but you can immediately name the company that does it, even if it is your competitor.
The next most important thing for the client (after receiving what he wanted to get) is the feeling that his request was taken seriously and carefully enough.
If you competently and almost honestly combine different methods of polite refusal, then your "no" will be perceived by the client almost as a "yes". This will not only allow you to avoid embarrassment, but will also strengthen the two-way relationship between the client and the company and, just as important, between you and the client.
If you find it difficult to pronounce the word "no", then you are not alone. Many people periodically think that it would be nice to reduce the number of good and important deeds done for others at the expense of their own business.
There are at least six reasons why it is difficult for us to refuse a person:
- A sincere desire to help. You want to do something good even for the person who responds with black ingratitude.
- Fear of appearing impolite. I only want to answer "yes" to someone who has the status and respect of others.
- The desire to be like everyone else. It's hard to say no if you know that you are thereby moving away from the group. "He who is not with us is against us."
- Fear of confrontation. If you said no, then you have to explain and defend your position among not the most friendly-minded people.
- Fear of missed opportunities. It is difficult for you to answer “no” if in case of consent serious prospects await you, even if at the same time you need to give up something valuable.
- Fear of breaking up. Some people do not understand the word "no" - for them this means that the relationship is broken.
If you have noted for yourself at least one of the reasons why you constantly agree with what you do not like, then your consciousness is filled with false beliefs that you will have to get rid of.
After all, you have your own priorities and needs, and it would be a mistake to assume that other people will solve your questions and problems for you. Saying “no”, you give yourself the opportunity to do your own business and, as a result, improve the overall result.
The main difficulty in giving rejections is to maintain good relationships with the people who are important to you. Therefore, it is necessary to say “no” as correctly as possible. At the same time, you must remember that in some cases you have the right to say no simply because you do not like something. Without explaning the reason.
- "Unfortunately, I cannot help you, the schedule is very busy"
This form of rejection is good if you are too busy. This will allow your opponent to determine the degree of your workload, and not to bother you again. - “At this moment I have this and that, I cannot stop this process. A little later, I may help you. ”
For example, you are downloading a file or having an important conversation with someone. Naturally, you cannot quit this activity until you finish. - “I would like to do this, but ...”
There are two mutually exclusive points. On the one hand, you make it clear to the person that you like him and his proposal. On the other hand, you explain that you do not have the necessary resources or experience to properly fulfill his request. And no hard feelings! - "Let me think about how I can help you"
It is more like a “maybe” than a “no." Be sure to think about this problem if promised. Moreover, it is necessary to accurately indicate the time that you will need for reflection. If your participation is really necessary, they will definitely wait for you. Or they will turn to someone else. - "I will keep you in mind if I come across something like this in my work."
Such a refusal is appropriate when you are engaged in some kind of business, but assume that your activity may somehow overlap with the topic of the supplicant. And then you will be able to help him according to the principle “both ours and yours”. - “I'm not the best helper for you. X would have done much better. "
You may be asked for help in a matter where you are not fully competent. At the same time, you know who could have fulfilled the request much better. Why not recommend? - "No I can not"
Refusal without explanation. You always have the right to it, unless, of course, this is the request of your boss ...
Finally, it should be added that rejection is not always a manifestation of non-participation. After all, only those who have the resources for that can sincerely help their neighbor. The more successful your own affairs are, the more opportunities you have to make someone else happy.