Date: 2014-03-24
Hello readers of the site.
Judging by the title, it is clear that we will talk about how to stop thinking about the bad... There are similar articles that you can also read: and and. I am sure you need to read them first before you start reading this article. The very first and most effective techniques are given in them, which will then help you do not think about bad.
Why did I decide to write this article? This desire was awakened by my brother, who is 95% disposed to a negative outcome. Unfortunately, he became a real pessimist. You've probably heard something like this: "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst"... My older brother always adheres to this advice, only he sounds it differently: "Always get ready for the village." And then nothing follows. That is, there is no positive outcome at all. I also heard this expression: "A loser thinks about what he will do if it succeeds, and a successful one thinks about what he will do if it does not work out."... I disagree with this statement and do not believe that it is necessary to follow it. It will be correct if a person thinks about both options. There should always be a fallback.
My brother, like other people, have forgotten how to set themselves up to be positive because they have failed many times. Why hope for the best if it works out as always? Negative experiences turn off the human ability to tune in to the positive. This means that first of all you need to fight with it. I wrote how to do this in those two articles that I gave you at the beginning.
How not to think about the bad?
The first way is not to expect anything from a particular situation. If you don't expect anything, then there will be no frustration in case of failure. This method is the most difficult, because it is very difficult not to expect anything. This can only be achieved if the importance is low. That is, in order not to expect anything, you need to lower the importance of the outcome to the maximum. And to downgrade the importance, you need to change the attitude towards the future outcome. Insurance (contingency plan) helps to reduce the importance. The more you have, the better for you.
I will not leave you without a concrete example. For example, a person has found a suitable job and is preparing for an interview. Of course, he worries, thinks, what if he will not be taken, and what will happen if he is not taken, and what if he does not make the proper first impression, and so on. Such thoughts force a person to tune in to a negative outcome, that is, he will be denied a position. A person holds on to this position and therefore he shakes like jelly. But if he has two or three more vacancies in mind, then he will not be so afraid. Plan A will not work, which means it uses plan B, and then, if something happens, plan C.
Another similar example. The guy started dating a girl and became addicted. He is afraid of losing her, as he believes that he will not be able to find another girl. And so, thinking about the bad, he begins to call her, get jealous of every post, check her mail, phone, and so on. Such actions are destructive, and she will soon leave him. But he would not behave like that if he knew how to meet and seduce girls. He would have thought, "If this girl misbehaves, then I will seduce another and date her." Thinking in this way, he behaves in a completely different way, namely, he does not call, does not spy, and does not get jealous.
This is the beauty of a backup plan that minimizes fear of failure. And if you want to tune yourself to the positive, then you need to have a backup plan. This is the best way to calm yourself down and stop thinking bad things.
How to stop thinking bad things?
A person begins to think badly when someone offended him, then when he was hurt for a living. In the first part of the article, I talked about how to calm yourself down before any important event. But what should a person who has been offended do? I myself very often begin to think badly of a person when he offended me. What is resentment? A person takes offense at other people when he does not behave with him the way he wants. For example, someone does not give attention, someone is not too polite, someone behaves too indifferently, and so on. Many times I took offense at those people who behaved indifferently towards me. As a result, I thought badly of them and hated them. This means that they meant something to me, otherwise I would not be offended by them and their behavior.
In this case, humility will help. It can be extremely difficult to come to terms with any situation. Sometimes it takes a long time to do this. While emotions are in full swing, it is unlikely that it will work to come to terms with any situation.
For example, a person was demoted or his salary was cut. Agree with me that it will be difficult to come to terms with it instantly? Of course, a person will begin to think badly about his superiors, will begin to wish them hellish evil, thoughts of terrible thoughts will begin to flash in his head (for example, a person will imagine how he is killing them). On the verge of anger, this is normal (thoughts of murder). Later, when time passes and emotions subside, the person will stop thinking about the bad and hate everyone and everything. And all because he will accept this situation. Hence the conclusion: in order to stop thinking about the bad, you need to come to terms with the situation. I warn you: humility comes with time.
Many people start thinking bad things when they begin to remember their past. There is a category of people who live in the past. A person remembers a negative situation and begins to emit a continuous negative. Other people, on the contrary, begin to present a negative scenario in all its manifestations. If he does so, then I will tell him like this, or I will do such and such a mean thing. Well, isn't that familiar to you? A person either thinks badly about the past, or begins to imagine a negative scenario even before what happened.
Regarding the past, I can only say that it is definitely worth coming to terms with. I myself do not return to the past and do not remember it. Regarding the second situation, even I have similar behavior. For example, if she doesn’t start paying attention to me, I’ll start misbehaving. Or I'll start to speak rudely. Her indifference hurts me, which means that I will answer her in kind. And such thoughts plunge me into a bad movie with a negative scenario and an outcome because I was hurt, I was offended. A person allows himself to be offended. And to stop thinking about the bad, you should switch your attention. I switch my attention when I start looking for a way out of a situation or understand myself. By understanding the cause of bad thoughts, a person is able to get rid of negative thoughts and stop thinking about bad thoughts. No need to sit in a cave and whine that you are lost. We need to look for a way out of the cave.
Every person is influenced by bad thoughts. They arise as a result of unjustified hopes, difficulties at work, and similar adversities in life. Negative thoughts quickly consume a person from the inside and drive him into prolonged depression. If you do not take action in time, there is a risk of losing yourself forever. Ultimately, a person ceases to enjoy life.
Method number 1. Analyze negative emotions
When difficult life circumstances appear, many people try to hide them in every possible way, do not give them their due importance. This opinion is often considered erroneous. If you keep all the accumulated negative in yourself, sooner or later complete despair sets in. In this case, it is worth analyzing the pressing problems and trying to cope with them as soon as possible.
- Control your thoughts. Take the time to read psychological books aimed at expanding your subconscious mind. Fight negative thinking, try to extract positive emotions from what happened. Think good, dream no matter what. Human thoughts are material and have a pleasant feature to come true. The choice is yours - what happens, good or bad. Once you gain control over your mind, you will no longer let bad thoughts rule you.
- Find inspiration. In critical situations, a person despairs so much that he does not see a way out. The negative literally breaks him down, making him weak-willed. Believe me, there is always a way out! Think back to the brightest moments in life when you were happy. Inspiration is the key to getting out of trouble. Think about how much you haven’t done yet and where you haven’t been. Get the best of bad thoughts, don't let yourself fade away. Do what you have dreamed of for a long time.
- Let your emotions escape. Most often, despondency occurs with the departure of a loved one, a quarrel with family or friends, and difficulties at work. Try to splash out the negativity in one go. Remember pleasant and funny stories, let your emotions go free and let go of evil. The past cannot be returned, they quarreled, which means that you will soon make up. And at work everything will return to normal, and there will be money. Be strong, live in the present, because life is beautiful. Feel free to cry sometimes, so you unload nervous system and purify your consciousness.
Method number 2. Do not withdraw into yourself
Communicate. When experiencing difficult life moments, you should not close yourself in, shield yourself from friends and family. In critical situations, contact a psychologist, state the problems and let them go. Don't blame yourself for what happened, look for alternative actions to deal with bad thoughts. Do not shut yourself off from the outside world, communicating with new people will quickly correct your perception of life.
- Look for allies. Find aspirational and positive interlocutors whenever possible. This move will help develop your ego. Negative thoughts will recede into the background. Having found a new social circle, become an interesting conversationalist. Express your opinion, offer non-standard ideas, do not be shy about emotions. Be more interested in the field of activity that affects you, share personal observations and experiences.
- Support your family. Based on personal experience of the difficulties experienced, be able to listen to a loved one. Telling about his pressing problems will help you to forget the bad moments in your own life. Do more good deeds, help sick family members, take care of, cook, buy medicine. Arrange warm evenings in a friendly company, communicate more on diverse topics.
- Become a volunteer. Do noble deeds, look at people with disabilities. You will understand how insignificant your problems look against their background. After what you see, you realize that you can do absolutely everything. Working in this area, people make interesting acquaintances and gain life experience from each other.
- Pay attention to the little things. Go for a walk around the city on a weekend. Concentrate on the little things, pay attention to the birds. Explore the buildings in the city center, perhaps you have never noticed such exciting architecture. Relax, take a long walk as a first-time visitor to your city. Focusing on external factors helps the brain work at a new level, overshadowing existing problems.
- Rejoice in the present. With the arrival of negative emotions, a person moves away from friends and withdraws into himself. He thinks that being alone with a problem, he can deal with it much faster. This opinion is a gross mistake. If friends have invited you to visit or to entertainments, do not hesitate and agree. Every time you go out for a walk, you can meet interesting people and get a lot of positive emotions. A person quickly fades away without society and a sense of his social significance.
Method number 3. Become a confident person
The reasons for bad thoughts can be different. If we are talking about problems related to work, financial difficulties or personal life, it will not be difficult to fix the situation. Don't take it all on yourself in the first place. There are both bad and good periods in life, be prepared for anything.
- Work on yourself. Decide what area you work best in. Take master classes and refresher courses. Get into a new organization that rightfully appreciates you. Improve yourself by gradually discovering new skills.
- Develop your personality. Expand your mind with helpful literature. Read history, psychology, sociology. If possible, start learning a foreign language, do it yourself with the help of audio lessons and your favorite films. This method will allow you to learn unfamiliar phrases much faster than memorizing a textbook or dictionary every day.
- Do not depend on the opinion of society. When in the circle of familiar faces, behave naturally. You should not constantly pick up smart phrases, watch your hair and clothes. Do not refuse to laugh heartily, be yourself. People will love you for your openness and simplicity of character. Whoever doesn't like you will be eliminated over time. Spit on imaginary friends, they are not worthy of you.
- Develop physically. Sports activities and morning jogging have not harmed anyone yet. Physical activity has a favorable effect on the general psycho-emotional background. Do the exercises conscientiously, the result will not be long in coming. Soon you will realize how self-confident you have become and forget about past failures. Give up bad habits. Observe your sleep schedule and proper diet.
Throw away thoughts of the past, there is no return to it. Live for today, develop, communicate, do not hold back feelings and emotions. Make real friends, spit on those who left you. Become the person to be looked up to and without fear of seeking advice. You decide your own destiny!
Video: how to get rid of negative thoughts
A person cannot live his life serenely, without feeling sadness, disappointment, grief. It is difficult to avoid situations that are a source of personal suffering, disappointment, tragedy, real or contrived. Events that cause negative emotions make a person, mentally returning to such events, re-experience, evaluate their actions, words, emotions. This is natural in human behavior, if such experiences and negative thoughts do not become dominant and do not interfere with a full life. If this has happened and negative thoughts persist day after day, it's time to get worried.
Causes
Every person has bad thoughts, even if he looks confident and happy. You need to stop winding up negative thoughts and remove the reasons for which they arise:
- Self-doubt, indecision. In life, you constantly have to make decisions, making choices. Ordinary, minor ones are easy to take. What to eat for breakfast, what movie to watch. They do not affect the usual way of everyday life. But decisions that involve choice and responsibility force a person to analyze and weigh all the pros and cons of the consequences. The desire for change and the fear of their coming with the attendant problems again and again make you think and doubt, haunted.
- Remorse. Nobody is immune to mistakes. It's just unrealistic to always do the right thing. Whoever understands this, learns a lesson from what happened and lives on. Other people continue to live in the past, scrolling through the situation and options for possible actions. With their minds they understand that everything has already happened and nothing can be fixed, but their thoughts return to the past again. The feeling of guilt does not let go and destroys the psyche.
- Impotence. Not all problems can be solved, not everything can be changed for the better. We must learn to perceive everything as it is and live with it. Sometimes you lose heart from powerlessness, and the future seems terrible and gloomy. Obsessive, bad thoughts are destructive in nature, and regardless of the reasons for their occurrence, you need to learn to block them, get rid of them, until you plunge into a deep depression.
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Effects
Not many people understand the danger of negative thoughts, because they do not interfere with the outer side of life. If you do not stop "self-digging" in time yourself or with the help of a psychologist, then the person first falls into depression, then neurosis begins. It can end in a psychiatric hospital.
Negative thinking not only destroys the psyche, it also:
- 1. Affects the adequacy of actions and actions. In a depressed state, immersed in negative thoughts, a person is incapable of correctly perceiving the events taking place around them and choosing the appropriate behavior for the situation.
- 2. Generates disease. Psychological syndromes and phobias do not arise from scratch. Constantly winding yourself up with negative thoughts, unwillingness to change your way of thinking lead to serious mental illness. Leads to constant fear of contracting an incurable disease. Thoughts about this do not let go and make you look for symptoms of diseases, make an appointment with a doctor, disinfect your home, constantly talk about diseases with others.
- 3. Can materialize. The thought is material. Constant thoughts about bad, illness or accident sooner or later occur in reality. The disease is diagnosed, misfortune happens.
- 4. Becomes addicted. Negative thoughts are intrusive and difficult to get rid of on your own. A psychologist will help in this, but he will also be powerless if the patient does not want to understand the reasons for the emergence of bad thoughts.
- 5. Changes behavioral manifestations in people prone to obsessive thoughts.
- 6. Provokes anxious behavior, constant emotional stress due to threats that threaten them or loved ones, often unreasonable and far-fetched.
- 7. Leads to excessive demands on yourself and especially on those around you. Such people are often very devout. Any inconsistency with the chosen ideal leads them to depression.
- 8. Encourages to live in the "past". In the present, such people are uncomfortable. They carefully keep things and symbols of a past life. If one of the things is lost or thrown away by someone, they become depressed again.
- 9. teaches to see the bad in everything, especially in situations that get out of the established routine of life.
This behavior complicates the life of others and especially those close to such a person, demonstrates obvious symptoms of the disease.
The success of treatment depends on the correct determination of the cause of the disease. This applies equally to psychological problems. It is necessary to try in a calm atmosphere to remember what caused such thoughts. Look at the situation from the “outside” and assess how adequate the response was to the problem. To successfully combat negative thoughts, psychologists advise:
- 1. Do not allow negative emotions into yourself. Not discussing news programs, watching less TV. Books, flowers, painting, embroidery - any hobby to calm the soul. It is worth changing your social circle. Passionate, optimistic people will help you deal with any depression.
- 2. Use self-hypnosis. On a piece of paper, write down all the tormenting fears, doubts, bad thoughts. Reread. Convince yourself that all the bad things have been transferred to paper. Burn it, and grind the ashes and rinse with running water.
- 3. Love yourself and praise yourself. Only the person himself is responsible for himself and his life. You need to set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. Remember to praise yourself for this, and the fears will go away.
- 4. Learn to switch. Negative thoughts came, fear appeared - to think about pleasant things. Meeting with a loved one, a house on the shore of a pond, about everything that cheers up and helps to distract yourself.
You can stop spinning bad thoughts and treat the emotional sphere at home. The main thing is to find something to your liking. And then nothing superfluous will come into my head.
Bad thoughts arise for various reasons: about relationships, jealousy of your man or woman, about health.
Labor is a medicine that helps to cope with depression and get rid of bad thoughts. Any work, especially on fresh air, will cheer up.
How not to think about the bad and not cheat yourself if negative thoughts are overwhelmed every day. Controlling your thinking, forcing yourself to think positively is a difficult process that involves daily practice of mastering the skill of changing your mind and consciousness. Undoubtedly, this requires discipline of the mind, but after working on your thinking, you can really achieve what you want. Often the question arises before the individual, how to learn to live without thinking about the bad? Psychologists on this score suggest thinking for a minute and realizing that far-fetched experiences, even if well-grounded and clearly reasoned, do great harm. It is possible that a negative event will never happen, and a person in vain exhausts himself with negative thinking and cannot calm down in any way, without ceasing to think about the bad. So what's the point in torturing yourself with bad thoughts?
How to learn not to think about bad things?
Any (negative or positive) consciously triggered thought, repeated a sufficient number of times within a certain time, can turn into a program. Realizing this, a person can force himself not to think about bad things. Since, for example, if for many years a person has been spinning the idea that he will always live in poverty, then in this way, he creates a program in his home, for the implementation of which he does not even need to think. Each person is able to build his future consciously only by the course of his thinking. By working on positive thoughts and forming new patterns in oneself, a person can develop a subconscious program of success. Realizing this, each person is able to help himself, and thus learn not to think about the bad.
And in order to accomplish this faster, for this a person should imagine that at the moment of his thoughts he is spreading around himself the vibrations of the finest etheric substance. The human eye is incapable of seeing thoughts in the same way as gas. Thought is a subtle configuration of matter. Thoughts with a negative direction would become dark colored and look like thunderclouds. Happy, clear, positive thoughts would be colored in bright colors and would be close to light, gaseous clouds. When an individual spreads bad thoughts around, he becomes an object for their influence. Annoying or fearful thoughts attract such thoughts to themselves, united with them in a powerful conglomerate. As a result, a negatively-minded person will suffer not only because of his own bad thoughts, but because of the negative thoughts of others, which will only aggravate the condition.
The longer an individual thinks in such a way, the more difficult his inner state and position will be. A person who is in a positive mood and has happy thoughts will attract a similar focus of thought and will feel happier and more joyful.
And yet, how else can you convince yourself not to think about the bad if negative thoughts constantly creep into your head? To get rid of disturbing thoughts will help an internal dialogue in which a person should ask himself what exactly is he afraid of? Often associated with loss of career, illness or accident. Most of the fears are not related to the real state of affairs. What is the point right now to be afraid of losing your career if you are a highly qualified specialist. Why be afraid of illness if you are healthy? And why should an accident happen to you if you are characterized by caution and attentiveness?
Of course, there is a percentage of unpredictability, and no one can guarantee that it will always be good. But is it worth spending your life to live in constant fear, worries, etc. As the saying goes, what to be is not to be avoided, and most of the problems thought up by a person can be solved, and what cannot be solved must be let go and not worry about it.
Below are practical and effective tips on how not to think about the bad, but to think about the good:
- a person should always think about the present. Pessimistic thoughts are often related to the past or the future. People often think about missed opportunities and what would have happened if they had done this and not otherwise. Returning constantly to the past makes the person unhappy and indecisive. And thoughts about the future and fears associated with this make a person worry. One should live in the present, think in the present day, not thinking ahead and not regretting the past;
- you cannot keep everything to yourself, since internal worries inevitably lead to a deterioration in health, so it is worth sharing your experiences with loved ones, without isolating yourself;
- no need to take negative information from the outside world to heart. Of course, stories about the problems of friends will make you worry about them, but you should not take the problems of other people to heart, let alone let them into your own soul. Excitements will not help friends, but they can easily spoil the mood;
- one should develop self-confidence and find in oneself that in which the personality is unique, inimitable and irreplaceable. It is important to feel your worth and bad thoughts will go away by themselves;
- you need to learn to look for positive moments in any negative situation and thus change your attitude towards it, for example, to perceive parting with a loved one as something necessary, since it was not further along the path with your partner and be sure to voice for yourself the reasons why you parted. Having realized your choice, you should come to terms with it, because a person has an opportunity to meet a more worthy partner in the future;
- it is important to analyze your thoughts, why they come. It often happens that bad thoughts come out of habit, regardless of whether the problem exists or has long been resolved;
- it has been established that bad thoughts visit a person during the period of doing nothing, and if the person is not busy with something necessary and important, it is then that various phobias begin to creep into his head;
- volunteering helps to distract from bad thoughts. A lot of people need help and at the same time do not lose interest in life and fortitude. Orphans and disabled people, lonely elderly people - they all have difficult problems in life, but somehow they cope with them, without ceasing to enjoy simple things in life. Helping a neighbor, a person can feel joy that he has done something useful;
- you should set a goal for yourself, having thought over what you most want to achieve in life and act in this direction in small steps;
- listening to your favorite music helps to distract and relax. Listening to what makes a person feel inspired, will help to avoid the painful and distract from bad thoughts;
- instead of thinking about how to relax and not think about the bad, you should enjoy the little things and be grateful to fate for every day you have lived. After all, a person's life consists of little things, so it is important to learn to see them and enjoy every little thing;
- physical activity will allow each person not to think about the bad, so simple physical exercises, jogging in the morning, walking should not be underestimated. Working on your body will definitely allow you to put your thoughts in order;
- a person should notice the good, not the bad, for example, not focus on his fatigue, but fix his attention on what has been achieved during the day and then the day will be remembered as a good one;
- meetings with old friends and new acquaintances, communication will also allow you to escape from bad thoughts;
- Trying to avoid pessimistic people, you can focus on pleasant events and thoughts. Often, depressed people pull along with their negative thinking, so it will be better to exclude contact with such people. But bright and positive personalities will allow you to calm down and not think about bad things.
- the main thing to remember is that everything in this life passes and life is not endless, so maybe you should not torment yourself with thoughts, how not to think about the bad, and direct your thinking in a positive direction.
Psychologists explain the emergence of negative thoughts in a person's life by manifestation. Bad thoughts are absolutely normal and natural, so you should just wait out the unpleasant moments in life and not dwell on them.