Sometimes the relationship between spouses reaches a point where it would seem that nothing connects the husband and wife. They just live together without feeling any love or affection for each other. The reasons why spouses do not divorce may be different - common children, habit, but in any case there is little good in such a relationship. If you find yourself in a similar situation, there is an unexpected solution for you - you need a lover!
In some situations, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, cheating can save your marriage and make life sparkle with new colors. It's not a matter of jealousy - your husband may not know anything - it's about you and the sensations that you will experience. External relationships have positive sides.
Self confidence
Without male attention, a woman withers like a flower without the sun. The point of having a lover is to have someone nearby who can remind you that you are still beautiful. Knowing that men like you is pleasant at any age, and physical proof is doubly pleasant. This will boost your self-confidence. Your husband is already used to you, you won’t hear compliments from him, but the person who is looking at you for the first time will be able to fully appreciate and praise your merits.
Pleasant emotions
Psychologists say that the main reason for female infidelity is lack of attention. There are, of course, other reasons, but the main one is the desire to feel loved and desired again. Men often make the mistake of believing that they absolutely do not have to constantly prove their feelings, as at the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, women begin to look for what they lack on the side.
It is important for every woman to have someone nearby who would constantly make her laugh, admire her, and confess his love. If your husband cannot become someone who will constantly evoke pleasant emotions and happiness in you, a lover will do this.
Incentive to improve
Your husband has already seen you in every way - with and without makeup, with your hair done and shaggy, in a dress and an old nightgown. If he saw all this and didn’t run away, then why try to look prettier for his sake? Many women make this mistake, like many others, no less dangerous, and subsequently wonder why the relationship with their husband has descended to the level of partnership.
With a new man, attention to oneself awakens again, the desire to be beautiful in order to be liked. A lover reawakens in a woman memories of what it is like to attract attention and be desired in the eyes of men, as well as how to achieve this: makeup, interesting clothing styles, heels. Even if your new image is not noticed or appreciated by your husband, you will have another grateful viewer for whom you will want to try.
Feeling of adventure
Some women do not even hide their lovers from their husbands, but this is rare. As a rule, a woman, even if she knows that her husband doesn’t care about her personal life, is still not ready to see his reaction. Therefore, the new relationship remains a secret. But secrets are still so nice! Having an affair with another man awakens a constant state of nervous excitement, causing a rush of adrenaline, because you constantly have to hide from others. This is a forbidden fruit, and, as they say, it is very sweet.
Revenge
Over the years of family life, every woman has accumulated a lot of grievances - never expressed, never resolved, never cried out. Some even themselves are forced to endure the betrayal of a loved one. Having an affair with another man is a good way to take revenge on your husband while costing little blood. The family is saved, you have passed the quarrels. Everyone is happy.
Cheating is still an extreme. Psychologists, as a rule, do not recommend running into the arms of another man in any difficult situation. First of all, you need to work on your relationship with your husband. Try to awaken what you once came together to bring romance back into your lives. In any situation, there is a way to maintain love in a relationship. Everyday life is a terrible enemy, but together you can overcome it. If all your attempts end in failure, you are sure that your husband no longer loves you, but you cannot or do not want to destroy your family, then perhaps an external relationship is exactly what you need. Good luck in love, share your experience if you have one,and don't forget to press the buttons and
Over time, many marriages begin to rely solely on the force of habit, children, and common everyday problems. Fervor of feelings, passion and romance remain a thing of the past. But this does not mean at all that a man, being married, or a married woman does not need a new relationship. Therefore, it is so important to feel that somewhere nearby, secretly from everyone, there is a person who needs your love and attention.
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- dissatisfaction with sex;
- boredom, desire to have fun;
- loss of direction in life;
- diffidence.
Show all
For what?
There are situations when men and women need to find a secret connection. Psychologists say that there are several main reasons for this. Among them:
Cooling in the sexual life of two married people leads to a gradual misunderstanding and distance from each other. Physical intimacy is one of the main components in a family. If one of the partners does not experience satisfaction from sex life, he begins to look for an outlet on the side.
The daily routine disgusts many couples. Finding a mistress or lover is one of the effective ways to bring into your life the charm of a fresh relationship that will diversify your gray everyday life.
Sometimes the persistent desire to find a partner on the side is explained by the lack of prospects with the other half, when the meaning of life together is lost, but there is no strength or special desire to separate. In this case, both partners can have an affair on the side, but they will continue to pretend that everything is in perfect order.
Disappointments in a spouse and career failures lead to a feeling of emptiness and uncertainty about the future. If the legal half does not support the partner during this difficult period, he has no choice but to seek help and pour out his feelings to another person, drowning out his own anxieties.
Crisis of 30 years in women
When?
Most often, the need for a new relationship arises after 30 years, when the symptoms of a midlife crisis first begin to manifest themselves. For men, it is expressed in irritation with everyday problems and reluctance to participate in household chores. It is during this period that a man begins to lose sexual interest in his wife and finds more and more negative aspects in her character, style, clothing, and manner of communication. Relations between them, at best, become cool; at worst, the spouse begins to show aggression towards members of his family.
Sometimes having a mistress on the side, oddly enough, is the best way to save the family and not poison the existence of your loved ones.
A woman experiencing a crisis does not so much want sexual pleasures. She needs to feel loved and desired. To do this, she is ready to practically throw herself into the maelstrom of a new relationship. Most often, middle-aged women strive to be older than themselves or are ready to teach the art of love to young people. A man of the same age is a rare type of lover among family ladies.
Young lover
Where?
In a big city, where it is easy to get lost, it is much easier to find a mistress or lover than in a small town where everyone knows about each other. Psychologists give some advice on how to find your secret half.
Meet a man
You should start looking for a sex partner by taking a close look at your friends’ surroundings. Surely they will have an interesting acquaintance with whom they would like to communicate closer. By studying a woman’s page on a social network, you can create a psychological portrait of her, albeit a superficial one. You need to be careful and not immediately rush into offers of intimacy. An invitation to a cup of coffee, a sincere conversation about mutual friends, interests - the best way to start a relationship on the side.
Online dating sites will help you find a mistress or lover in your city. If a married man or married lady lives in a small town, you can look for your secret soul mate in a neighboring town, where there are much fewer mutual acquaintances. After registering on the site (under a fictitious name), you should immediately indicate your marital status so that you are not pestered by those who want to get married in any way. In the very first correspondence with a “candidate” for lovers, it is advisable to immediately stipulate the “rules of the game”, that is, what you expect from your partner and what you are ready to provide to him. This will help avoid unpleasant misunderstandings and serious problems in the future.
Cheating is often attributed to the stronger sex, which is not done without reason. If a woman is ready to endure the hardships and even bullying that her husband creates in a relationship, then a man is not ready to be bored all his life just because he is married. Over the years, any kind of everyday life and the monotony of life become boring, which is why the stronger sex has the question of how. At first, a man will ignore the desire to have an affair on the side. However, constant quarrels with his wife, lack of sex and boredom of family life will force a man to try...
It will be very scary at first. Having no experience in conducting secret love relationships, a man will constantly think about the fact that he will be seen, his wife will find out everything, and he will screw up. In fact, men do make mistakes that cause their families to fall apart or their wives to stop trusting them. To prevent this from happening to you, you need to approach the matter consciously and competently.
To begin, decide exactly what the question is. Think carefully about how much you crave it. Changing for the sake of interest or to try are not reasons. Often because of this, men make mistakes, after which their wives find out about everything. When a man understands for sure that he needs a mistress as compensation for some feelings or relaxation, sex, then he thinks through his every step, protecting his wife from the possibility of finding out about his affair.
Why do you need a mistress? Do you really want to have her? At first, you need to talk to yourself for only one purpose - so that later, when you start cheating, your conscience won’t gnaw at you for your actions. You will feel that you are doing the right thing if you are sure that you really need a secret love affair. Until then, you will feel guilty, which is why you will start making mistakes.
What to do if you decide to cheat on your spouse? You need to start by finding a mistress. Who is suitable for this role? Psychologists say that absolutely any woman is suitable for the role of a mistress, even if she is married. You just need to clearly define what kind of relationship you want to build with her and whether she is suitable for the role that you offer her.
If a girl wants to get married and start her own family, then she is not suitable for the role of a mistress. And you should understand why. If at first she is fascinated by the man who is courting her, even agrees to accept his gifts, over time she will fall in love with him and begin to have a loving relationship with him. She will not consider herself a mistress, but will treat the man as her possible husband. This is where talk begins to arise about a man divorcing his current wife and marrying his mistress.
If you do not intend to destroy your family and marry another woman, then choose a girl as your mistress who will agree to remain your mistress for the entire period of your relationship:
- A girl who wants to build only open relationships.
- A girl who wants to be supported by a man, even if they are just lovers.
- A married woman who does not want to get a divorce, but is looking for new sensations and feelings.
- A woman who is already dating someone, but is not averse to having an affair on the side.
- A woman who wants to achieve something of her own at the expense of a man (for example, to get some position in his company if he is the director or owner of the company).
There really is someone to choose from. All that remains is to consider options for finding a future mistress.
Internet dating
The easiest and fastest way to find a mistress is this. To definitely find a mistress, and not a girl who will demand marriage from you, it is better to pay attention to resources that offer acquaintance with mistresses and kept women. There are a lot of such sites. Girls and women post photographs of themselves, deliberately assuming that they will have exclusively sexual relationships with men.
In online dating, you can choose a lover to suit every taste: by city of residence, by age, by purpose of dating and other parameters. You choose who to correspond with and meet with.
Social media
On social networks, the choice of girls is huge. Women sit here just to chat with friends and even find love. You just have to enter your age and city of residence, and a whole list of beauties will appear for you to choose from.
The main thing in the process of dating and communication is to understand whether the girl will agree to a secondary role in your life. You should be careful in disclosing your personal information both during acquaintance and in subsequent meetings with your future lover.
Job
Office romance is quite appropriate in the world of constantly working and busy men and women. At work, women can also look at men, especially if they occupy a higher position and can promise a promotion up the career ladder. Moreover, a man does not have to go far to find a mistress, because by constantly being at work, you have a better chance of being interested in yourself than any other man.
By starting an affair on the side, you can get many advantages: your mistress is constantly nearby, she adds excitement and even energy to prevent your relationship from opening up. You also control your lover's movements so that she does not meet other men, which can contribute to your confidence that she will not become infected with anything.
However, office romance has its downsides:
- Your affair can quickly be discovered by company employees who may not keep their mouth shut in the presence of your wife.
- Your romance will sooner or later fail. And this will lead to tension between you and even the need to fire one of you.
- The mistress has contact information about you. This means that if she wants to harm you at work or tell her everything, she can do it very easily.
When starting an affair at work, you need to discuss in advance with your mistress what kind of relationship will develop between you. It’s good if you choose a woman who will also not benefit from the disclosure of your love affair both at work and outside of it.
Other people's wives
Choosing a married woman as a mistress is the most favorable. Such a lady also does not need trouble if suddenly their relationship becomes public knowledge. She does not need to give numerous gifts, since her husband may become suspicious. She doesn’t need constant calls so that her husband doesn’t start asking unnecessary questions. The meetings are quite short, since you still need to get home on time.
A married woman is an ideal mistress, whose interests also include the preservation of a secret relationship. However, you need to be careful here too. There are women who are on the verge of divorce. They will take lovers in order to divorce their husbands and then marry them. If your mistress also begins to dream about how she will divorce her husband and marry you, then there will be no less problems than with a woman who was initially single.
Many men dream of having extramarital love affairs while maintaining an official marriage. Here you need to be careful, attentive and perform all actions correctly. To avoid getting caught and enjoy cheating, married men are given the following advice:
- How much are you willing to spend on your mistress? Your meeting location (for example, a hotel room) must be paid for by you. Moreover, any mistress needs to be given gifts. And there are girls who are ready to become the mistresses of married men only for money. You should calculate whether you are ready to spend money on your family without infringing on the interests of the family. Moreover, do it so that the wife does not notice anything.
- How often can you meet your lover? Finding her is much easier than then devoting enough time to having her passionately provide sex. What will you tell your wife about your absence from home? It's good if you have an irregular work schedule. And other excuses won't always give you an alibi.
- Stay safe. You need to have a separate phone for calls with your mistress. It is better not to correspond on social networks. Go only to those places where your wife and your mutual friends will never go. It is better to pay in cash so that there are no traces of the movement of money on the card.
- How will you part? Don't forget that you will end your love affair sooner or later. How will you do this? You need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to talk to your mistress and do it in such a way that she does not have any grudges against you. Otherwise, she will want to tell your wife everything.
Choose young ladies of 20 years old as your mistress if you want passionate sex and easy relationships, or 30 years old if you crave already experienced sexual relationships and pleasant communication.
Bottom line
If suddenly a married man has the thought of cheating, this indicates problems in family life. You can focus your energy on restoring a passionate relationship with your wife so as not to destroy the marriage. But if you decide to find a mistress, then do everything correctly and carefully so as not to destroy the marriage.
Many men, especially those who have been married for a long time, have a desire to cheat on their spouse. There can be many reasons why this temptation arises. But, often this happens due to monotony in sex, as well as small, but frequent, everyday conflicts with his wife. When a man comes home, instead of resting, he gets scandals.
It often happens that there is complete calm and a peaceful atmosphere in the family, but the male representative still has an urge to take sides. Here the reason may be that he lacks some thrill, intrigue and wants to feel young again.
How to have a mistress and where to start?
Before you take such a step called “How to have a mistress: the beginning,” you should think carefully about everything, weighing all the pros and cons of this adventure. Firstly, it is worth considering your financial situation, since such a relationship will in any case incur certain costs. For example, a man is obliged to rent a hotel room or an apartment for meetings. You can’t do without gifts and trips to cafes and restaurants. If you don’t have enough money, then you should think about whether it’s worth saving on your own wife and children for the sake of a temporary relationship with your mistress.
The second important point to consider is the availability of free time. It is optimal when the work schedule is not standardized and there are frequent and unforeseen business trips. It’s also good if there are old ones. After all, a wife may immediately suspect something is wrong when her husband begins to often stay late at work or he suddenly develops an interest in fishing or hunting. Therefore, in order to avoid unnecessary scandals at home, you need to take everything into account and figure out how you can allocate free time.
How to get a mistress for a married man?
A significant step in this adventure is caution. If you want to protect your family from psychological trauma, you should think through every step in advance so that your spouse does not become suspicious. You need to get a new SIM card and email, it is advisable not to contact your mistress on social networks. Pay everywhere and for everything only in cash.
Since a relationship with a mistress is not eternal, sooner or later the moment will come when it exhausts itself, and it comes to a break. It would seem that the whole intrigue is over, passion and lust have subsided, I want to return to my wife and live on in peace. But it was not there. At this moment, all the salt can begin. Most mistresses, if they are completely satisfied with a man, are not ready to lose him. Therefore, an unexpected break in relations will certainly cause anger and a desire for revenge. Moreover, it will no longer matter to her whether she returns the man or not. The main thing is that he will suffer from the destruction of his marriage. To avoid these very unpleasant moments, again, you need to take care of everything in advance. You should not contact her friends, and especially not introduce her to yours. And in general, the fewer people know about the relationship with her, the better. The mistress should not know either the home address or any contact information about his wife. Also, do not throw it suddenly. It’s better to start behaving in such a way that she herself will cool down and decide to break off the relationship.
Ideally, if the mistress is also married. She does not need expensive gifts, since their presence will need to be explained to her husband somehow. Non-disclosure of this relationship will also be mutually beneficial.
How to have a mistress at work?
Having a mistress at work is one of the easiest and most accessible ways. In addition, a relationship with a pretty colleague will give the romance more extreme and excitement. But before you get involved, it’s worth considering whether you need to do it at all. After all, office romance is short-lived; there will be gossip among employees. After a breakup, it is possible to remain friends only in rare cases. Often, one of the lovers has to quit. Therefore, whether it is worth risking work and career growth for the sake of temporary pleasure, everyone must decide for themselves.
The temptation to cheat on his wife awaits every man, and it does not matter how long he has been married - a year or ten. This is the essence and natural instinct of males. Representatives of the stronger sex, who are polygamous by nature, need variety and originality of sexual relationships much more than women.
Thinking about Shouldn't he get a passionate young mistress?, the spouse often begins when, upon arriving home, instead of the long-awaited rest and warm family atmosphere, only scandals, reproaches and discontent await him. It is worth noting that even in complete harmony of marital relations with sufficient mutual understanding of both partners, the desire to “take a walk on the side” still awakens in a man from time to time. Here the reason lies in the desire for extreme sports, intrigue and thrills.
A man's thoughts on how to have a mistress and where to start
Before taking a mistress, or rather, having decided that he cannot do without an outside woman, a man must carefully weigh and think about everything.
First of all, it is necessary to compare financial capabilities with the incommensurable desire for love adventures. Only a fool could not understand what material costs he will have to incur. To save on your wife and children for the sake of your own lust would, at the very least, be unfair to them. If material wealth allows you to give your friend expensive gifts, take you to restaurants, rent hotel rooms, then this point is not an obstacle.
Second point– the spouse should have enough free time. Of course, if you have an irregular work schedule, as well as frequent out-of-town business trips, you can have a young mistress without any problems, but how can you avoid the control of your spouse if the wife knows how long her husband must be present at work, how long he has to get home, etc. .d. In this case, setting aside even half an hour for secret dates will be quite problematic.
But Should a married man have a mistress at all? After all, the risk that the wife will guess sooner or later, or, even worse, see her husband with another woman with her own eyes, is always present. If not just the continued existence of the marriage is at stake, but also the future of the joint children, the head of the family must think a thousand times whether the game is worth the candle.
How to have a mistress that your wife will never know about
Caution is the main condition for the existence of extramarital relationships “on the side.” It is necessary to observe it not only in order to exclude the emergence of any suspicions among the wife. Children can also painfully accept the presence of another woman with their father, which subsequently has every chance of becoming a reason for anger and resentment towards their father for the rest of their lives.
You can protect your loved ones from serious psychological trauma only if you take all precautions. You will have to deny yourself a lot and change your habits in order to have a mistress. Experienced lovers tell us how to be careful and where to start so as not to get caught in the sight of your legal spouse. First of all, you need to:
- buy a new SIM card for your mobile phone;
- additional email address;
- avoid contact with your girlfriend on home territory (even on social networks);
- All bills are paid exclusively in cash.
Many men rarely think about the consequences of extramarital affairs. Why have a mistress if it is clear from the very beginning that this relationship will not last forever. And when it’s time to dot the i’s, married lovers often start to have real troubles.
How not to get yourself into trouble by having an intriguing mistress
It would seem that everything is over: there were no obligations, no one owes anyone anything. Some women who have agreed to the role of mistresses do not want to realize and accept that the man does not belong to them. Ladies actively extend their right of possessiveness to him, so a sudden separation can anger the offended girl. The desire for revenge may be the only process that controls it; here, an offended woman is quite capable of becoming a true destroyer of the family. Before taking on a lover and during the developing relationship with her, It is important to understand for yourself that:
- This woman should not have the man's home address, contact information for his wife, children, etc.
- It is undesirable to meet her parents and friends. Also, you should not tell even your closest friend about your mistress. This relationship should be an absolute secret for both partners.
- You can’t leave your lover abruptly. She may have to experience stress very painfully, so it is better to reduce the relationship to her becoming the initiator of the separation.
- The most ideal scenario for love affairs outside of marriage is based on the family nature of both partners. A married mistress will not need expensive gifts. In addition, remaining silent and not disclosing information about the relationship is extremely beneficial for her.
With a choice of location where you can find and have a mistress, for most men, only work comes to mind. Indeed, this place is considered the most convenient for meeting your passion. An office romance proceeds brightly, with a predominant amount of excitement and extreme feelings, but it is worth considering everything carefully. A short-lived affair, as a rule, does not end in a peace treaty of friendship; a break in relations often develops into a conflict, fueled by gossip from colleagues. In most cases, an office romance has one outcome - one of the lovers has to leave.
Whether it is worth having a mistress, everyone must decide for themselves. If family remains more important, but you still cannot do without an emotional reboot, the main thing is not to fall in love during the period of an affair. This could end in a real family disaster. No matter how trivial it may sound, you need to think about children, because they should grow up in a full-fledged family where love, mutual respect and trust in each other flourish.