APPEAL TO THE CLERGY
In Orthodoxy there are three degrees of priesthood: deacon, priest, bishop. A deacon is a priest's assistant. He does not have the grace-filled power that is given in the Sacrament of ordination to the priesthood, but you can turn to him for advice and prayer.
To the deacon should be addressed with the words “Father Deacon.” For example, “Father Deacon, can you tell me where to find Father Superior?” You can call him by name, but always in combination with the word “father”. For example: “Father Alexander, will there be confession tomorrow evening?” If they talk about the deacon in the third person, they use the following forms: “Father the deacon spoke today...” Or: “Father Alexander is now in the refectory.”
Forms of addressing a priest
There are several forms of appeal. In the Russian Orthodox community, there is a long-standing custom of affectionately calling a priest father. Often people turn to him like this: “Father, can I talk to you?” or, if about him, then they say: “Father is now performing religious services,” “Father has returned from a trip.”
In addition to this conversational form, there is another - more strict and official, for example: “Father Mikhail, allow me to make a request to you?” In the third person, referring to a priest, they usually say: “Father the rector blessed...”, “Father Bogdan advised...” It is not entirely good to combine the rank and name of the priest, for example: “Priest Peter”, “Archpriest Vasily”. Although acceptable, the combination “father” and the priest’s surname is rarely used, for example: “Father Soloviev.”
In what form - “you” or “you” - you need to address yourself in a church environment is decided unambiguously: “you”. Even if the relationship is already close, in front of outsiders, the manifestation of this excessive familiarity in the church looks unethical.
How to greet a priest
According to church ethics, it is not customary for a priest to say “Hello” or “Good afternoon.” They say to the priest: “Father, bless” or “Father Michael, bless!” and ask for a blessing.
During the period from Easter to the celebration of the holiday, that is, for forty days, they greet with the words “Christ is Risen!”, The priest blesses, answering: “Truly He is Risen!”
If you accidentally meet a priest on the street, in transport or in some public place, even if he is not in priestly vestments, you can still approach him and take his blessing.
Rules of communication for the laity
Lay people, When communicating with each other, they must also adhere to the rules and norms of behavior accepted in the church environment. Because we are one in Christ, believers call each other “Brother” or “Sister.” In the church environment, it is not customary to call even older people by their patronymics; they are called only by their first names. The name of an Orthodox Christian is associated with our heavenly patron, and therefore it should be used in the family in its full form if possible and in any case without distortion, for example, Sergey, Seryozha, and not Serga, Sery, Nikolai, Kolya, but in no case Kolcha, Kolyan and so on. Affectionate forms of the name are quite acceptable, but within reasonable limits. Orthodox people love to go on pilgrimage trips to monasteries.
Conversion in monasteries
The treatment in monasteries is as follows. In the monastery to the governor, who can be an archimandrite, abbot or hieromonk, can be addressed with an indication of his position, for example: “Father Viceroy, bless” or using the name: “Father Nikon, bless.” A more official address is “Your Eminence” if the vicar is an archimandrite or abbot, and “Your Reverence” if he is a hieromonk. In the third person they say “father governor”, or by the name “father Innocent”.
TO dean, the first assistant and deputy governor, are addressed with the position indicated: “Dean Father” or with the addition of the name “Father John.”
If the housekeeper, sacristan, treasurer, and cellarer have priestly rank, you can address them as “father” and ask for a blessing. If they are not a priest, but have been tonsured, they say “father housekeeper”, “father treasurer”. A tonsured monk is addressed as “father”; a novice is addressed as “brother”.
In a convent, the abbess is addressed in this way: “Mother Abbess” or using the name “Mother Varvara”, “Mother Maria” or simply “Mother”.
When addressing nuns they say: “Mother Joanna”, “Mother Elizabeth”.
Appeal to the bishop
TO the bishop is addressed: “Vladyka”: “Vladyko” is the vocative case of the Church Slavonic language: “Vladyko, bless”, “Vladyko, allow...” In the nominative case - Vladyka. For example, “Vladyka Philaret blessed you...”
In official speech, including writing, other forms are used. The bishop is addressed: “Your Eminence” or “Most Reverend Bishop.” If in the third person: “His Eminence.”
Appeal to the Archbishop,
Metropolitan, Patriarch
The archbishop and metropolitan are addressed: “Your Eminence” or “Most Reverend Bishop,” in the third person: “With the blessing of His Eminence, we inform you...”
The Patriarch is addressed as follows: “Your Holiness”, “Most Holy Vladyka”. In the third person: "His Holiness."
The letter can begin with the words: “Master, bless.” Or: “Your Eminence (High Eminence), bless.”
In the right corner of the sheet there is a date and an indication of the saint whose memory the Church honors on this holiday or another church holiday that falls on this day. Eg:
Let us cite as an example excerpts from a letter from St. Athanasius (Sakharov) to Archbishop Onesimus (Festinov):
July 17, 1957
village Petushki Vladimir region.
St. Blessed Great
Prince Andrei Bogolyubsky
YOUR Eminence,
THE MOST REPRESENTATIVE LORD
AND GRACEFUL ARCHIPASTER!
I greet you on the holiday of the creator of the cathedral church and the first collector of the Russian land. Greetings and happy tomorrow to the feast of St. Sergius, your heavenly patron.
I often hear about your ailments. With all my heart I wish that the Lord, through the prayers of the miracle workers of Vladimir and St. Sergius, will heal your ailments and that nothing will prevent you from participating in the celebrations of our cathedral church...
The Patriarch is addressed: “Your Holiness, Most Holy Master.” Let us present part of a letter written to His Holiness Patriarch Alexy (Simansky) by Saint Athanasius (Sakharov).
His Holiness,
To His Holiness the Patriarch
Moscow and all Rus'
Alexy
YOUR HOLINESS,
HOLY LORD PATRIARCH,
GRACEFUL ARCHIPASTER AND FATHER!
To my son, I wish you a happy eightieth birthday. I pray to God that He will allow you to reach an even more venerable old age, and if not to reach the years of the Patriarch Jacob, then at least equal the years of life with his beloved son Joseph.
I pray to God that he will strengthen your strength, spiritual and physical, and may he help you for many, many years, until the end of your days.
It is wise for you to care for the ship of the Church, the right to rule the word of truth and to perform the feat of prayer for the Orthodox Church and for the Russian land.
Before considering how to address clergy in conversation and in writing, it is worth familiarizing yourself with the hierarchy of priests that exists in the Orthodox Church.
The priesthood in Orthodoxy is divided into 3 levels:
– deacon;
- priest;
- bishop.
Before stepping onto the first stage of the priesthood, devoting himself to serving God, the believer must decide for himself whether he will marry or become a monk. Married clergy are classified as the white clergy, while monks are classified as the black clergy. In accordance with this, the following structures of the priestly hierarchy are distinguished.
Secular clergy
I. Deacon:
– deacon;
– protodeacon (senior deacon, usually in the cathedral).
II. Priest:
- priest, or priest, or presbyter;
– archpriest (senior priest);
– mitered archpriest and protopresbyter (senior priest in the cathedral).
Black clergy
I. Deacon:
– hierodeacon;
– archdeacon (senior deacon in the monastery).
II. Priest:
– hieromonk;
– abbot;
- archimandrite.
III. Bishop (bishop).
- bishop;
- archbishop;
– metropolitan;
- patriarch.
Thus, only a minister belonging to the black clergy can become a bishop. In turn, the white clergy also includes ministers who, along with the rank of deacon or priest, have taken a vow of celibacy (celibacy).
“I beseech your shepherds... feed the flock of God which is yours, overseeing it not under compulsion, but willingly and pleasing to God, not for vile gain, but out of zeal, and not lording it over God’s inheritance, but setting an example for the flock.”
(1 Pet. 5:1–2).
Nowadays, monastic priests can be seen not only in monasteries, but also in parishes where they serve. If a monk is a schema monk, that is, he has accepted the schema, which is the highest degree of monasticism, the prefix “schema” is added to his rank, for example, schema-hierodeacon, schema-monk, schema-bishop, etc.
When addressing someone from the clergy, you should use neutral words. You should not use the address “father” without using this name, as it will sound too familiar.
In church, clergy should also be addressed as “you.”
In close relationships, the address “you” is allowed, but in public it is still better to adhere to the address “you,” even if this is the wife of a deacon or priest. She can address her husband as “you” only at home or in private, but in the parish such an address can belittle the authority of the minister.
In church, when addressing clergy, one must say their names as they sound in Church Slavonic. For example, you should say “Father Sergius” and not “Father Sergei”, “Deacon Alexy” and not “Deacon Alexey”, etc.
When addressing a deacon, you can use the words “father deacon.” To find out his name, you need to ask: “Excuse me, what is your holy name?” However, in this way you can address any Orthodox believer.
If a deacon is addressed by his proper name, the address “father” should be used. For example, “Father Vasily”, etc. In a conversation, when mentioning a deacon in the third person, you should call him “Father Deacon” or by a proper name with the address “father”. For example: “Father Andrei said that...” or “Father deacon advised me...”, etc.
A deacon in a church is approached to ask for advice or to ask for prayer. He is an assistant priest. However, a deacon does not have ordination, and therefore does not have the right to independently perform the rites of baptism, wedding, unction, as well as serve the liturgy and confess. Therefore, you should not contact him with a request to carry out such actions. He also cannot perform services, such as consecrating a house or performing a funeral service. It is believed that he does not have special grace-filled power for this, which the minister receives only during his ordination to the priesthood.
When addressing a priest, the word “father” is used. In colloquial speech it is permissible to call a priest priest, but this should not be done in official speech. The minister himself, when introducing himself to other people, should say: “Priest Andrei Mitrofanov,” or “Priest Nikolai Petrov,” “Hegumen Alexander,” etc. He will not introduce himself: “I am Father Vasily.”
When a priest is mentioned in a conversation and spoken of in the third person, one can say: “Father the rector advised,” “Father Vasily blessed,” etc. Calling him by his rank will not be very euphonious in this case. Although, if there are priests with the same names in the parish, to distinguish them, next to the name they put the rank corresponding to each of them. For example: “Hegumen Pavel is now holding a wedding, you can address your request to Hieromonk Pavel.” You can also call the priest by his last name: “Father Peter Vasiliev is on a business trip.”
The combination of the word “father” and the priest’s surname (for example, “Father Ivanov”) sounds too official, so it is used very rarely in colloquial speech.
When meeting, the parishioner must greet the priest with the word “Bless!”, while folding his hands to receive a blessing (if the greeter is next to the priest). It is not customary in church practice to say “hello” or “good afternoon” to a priest. The priest responds to the greeting: “God bless” or “In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” At the same time, he makes the sign of the cross over the layman, after which he places his right hand on his palms folded to receive the blessing, which the layman must kiss.
The priest can bless parishioners in other ways, for example, by making the sign of the cross on the bowed head of a layman or blessing from a distance.
Male parishioners may also receive the priest's blessing differently. They kiss the hand, the cheek, and again the hand of the minister who blesses them.
When a priest blesses a layman, the latter should under no circumstances apply the sign of the cross to himself at the same time. This action is called "being baptized by the priest." This behavior is not very decent.
Asking for a blessing and receiving it are basic components of church etiquette. These actions are not a mere formality. They testify to an established relationship between the priest and the parishioner. If a lay person asks for a blessing less often or stops asking for it altogether, this is a signal to the minister that the parishioner has some problems in his earthly life or on a spiritual plane. The same applies to the situation when the priest does not want to bless a layman. In this way, the pastor tries to make it clear to the parishioner that something contrary to Christian life is happening in the latter’s life, that the church is not blessing him.
“...Youngers, obey the shepherds; Nevertheless, being submissive to each other, clothe yourself with humility, because God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”
(1 Pet. 5:5–6).
Usually, refusal of a blessing is painfully endured by both the priest and the laity, which suggests that such actions are not purely formal. In this case, both should try to smooth out the tension in the relationship by confessing and asking for forgiveness from each other.
From the day of Easter and for the next forty days, parishioners should first of all greet the pastor with the words “Christ is Risen,” to which the priest usually responds: “Truly He is Risen” and gives his blessing with the usual gesture.
Two priests greet each other with the words “Bless” or “Christ is in our midst,” to which the answer follows: “And it is, and it will be.” They then shake hands, kiss the cheek once or thrice, and then kiss each other's right hand.
If a parishioner finds himself in the company of several priests at once, he should ask for a blessing first from the senior priests, and then from the younger ones, for example, first from the archpriest, then from the priest. If a layman is not familiar with them, the rank can be distinguished by the cross that the priests wear: the archpriest has a cross with decorations or is gilded, and the priest has a silver cross, sometimes gilded.
It is customary to take a blessing from all nearby priests. If this is difficult for any reason, you can simply ask: “Bless, honest fathers” - and bow. The address “holy father” is not accepted in Orthodoxy.
“The blessing of the Lord - it enriches and does not bring sorrow with it”
(Prov. 10:22).
If several people approach the priest at once for a blessing, the men should apply first, according to their seniority, and then the women. If church ministers are present in this group of people, they are the first to ask for blessings.
If a family approaches the priest, the husband comes out first for the blessing, then the wife, followed by the children in order of seniority. At this time, you can introduce someone to the priest, for example, your son, and then ask him to bless him. For example: “Father Matthew, this is my son. Please bless him."
When parting, instead of saying goodbye, the layman also asks the priest for a blessing, saying: “Forgive, father, and bless.”
If a layman meets a priest outside the church walls (on the street, in transport, in a store, etc.), he can still ask for a blessing if he does not distract the pastor from other matters. If it is difficult to take the blessing, you just need to bow.
In communicating with a priest, a layman must show deference and respect, since the minister is the bearer of special grace, which he receives during the sacrament of ordination to the priesthood. In addition, the priest is appointed to be a shepherd and mentor of the believers.
When talking with a clergyman, you should watch yourself so that there is nothing indecent in your gaze, words, gestures, facial expressions, or posture. The speech of a layman should not contain rude, abusive, slang words, with which the speech of many people in the world is full. Addressing a priest in an overly familiar manner is also not allowed.
When talking to a clergyman, you should not touch him. It is better to be at a distance that is not very close. You cannot behave cheekily or defiantly. There is no need to stare or grin at the priest’s face. The look should be meek. It’s good to lower your eyes a little when talking.
“The highest honor should be accorded to worthy elders who rule, especially to those who labor in the word and in doctrine. For the Scripture says: do not load it, give mouth to the threshing ox; and: the worker is worthy of his reward"
(1 Tim. 5:17–18).
If the priest is standing, the lay person should not sit in his presence. When the priest sits down, the lay person can sit down only after being asked to sit down.
When talking with a priest, a layman must remember that through a pastor who is involved in the sacraments of God, God Himself can speak, teaching the truth of God and righteousness.
IN THE MONASTERYThe love of the Orthodox people for monasteries is known. There are now about 500 of them in the Russian Orthodox Church. And in each of them, in addition to monks, there are workers, pilgrims who come to strengthen themselves in faith, piety, and to work for the glory of God on the restoration or improvement of the monastery.
The monastery has stricter discipline than the parish. And although the mistakes of newcomers are usually forgiven and covered with love, it is advisable to go to the monastery already knowing the rudiments of the monastic rules.
The monastery is a special world. And it takes time to learn the rules of monastic life. Since this book is intended for lay people, we will only point out the most necessary things that must be observed in a monastery during a pilgrimage.
When you come to the monastery as a pilgrim or worker, remember that in the monastery they ask for a blessing for everything and strictly fulfill it.
You cannot leave the monastery without a blessing.
They leave all their sinful habits and addictions (wine, tobacco, foul language, etc.) outside the monastery.
Conversations are only about spiritual things, they do not remember about worldly life, they do not teach each other, but they know only two words - “forgive” and “bless”.
Without grumbling, they are content with food, clothing, sleeping conditions, and eat food only at a common meal.
They do not go to other people’s cells, except when they are sent by the abbot. At the entrance to the cell they say aloud a prayer: “Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have mercy on us” (in the convent: “Through the prayers of our holy mothers...”). They do not enter the cell until they hear from behind the door: “Amen.”
They avoid free speech, laughter, and jokes.
When working on obediences, they try to spare the weak person who works nearby, covering with love the errors in his work. When meeting each other, they greet each other with bows and the words: “Save yourself, brother (sister)”; and the other responds to this: “Save, Lord.” Unlike the world, they don’t take each other’s hands.
When sitting down at the table in the refectory, they observe the order of precedence. The prayer said by the person serving the food is answered with “Amen,” and the table is silent and listens to the reading.
They are not late for divine services, unless they are busy with obedience. Insults encountered during general obediences are endured humbly, thereby gaining experience in spiritual life and love for the brethren.
HOW TO CONDUCT YOURSELF AT A RECEPTION WITH THE BISHOP
A bishop is an angel of the Church; without a bishop, the Church loses its fullness and very essence. Therefore, a church person always treats bishops with special respect.
When addressing the bishop, he is called “Vladyko” (“Vladyko, bless”). “Vladyko” is the vocative case of the Church Slavonic language, in the nominative case - Vladyka; for example: “Vladyka Bartholomew blessed you...”.
Eastern (coming from Byzantium) solemnity and eloquence in addressing the bishop at first even confuses the heart of a person of little church, who can see here a (in fact non-existent) derogation of his own human dignity.
In official address, other expressions are used.
Addressing the bishop: Your Eminence; Your Eminence Vladyka. In the third person: “His Eminence ordained him a deacon...”.
Addressing the Archbishop and Metropolitan: Your Eminence; Your Eminence Vladyka. In the third person: “With the blessing of His Eminence, we inform you...”.
Addressing the Patriarch: Your Holiness; Holy Master. In the third person: "His Holiness visited... the diocese."
A blessing is taken from the bishop in the same way as from a priest: the palms are folded crosswise one on top of the other (the right one is at the top) and they approach the bishop for the blessing.
A telephone conversation with a bishop begins with the words: “Bless, Vladyka” or “Bless, Your Eminence (Eminence).”
The letter can begin with the words: “Master, bless” or “Your Eminence (High Eminence), bless.”
When formally contacting a person in writing to the bishop adhere to the following form.
In the upper right corner of the sheet write, observing the line:
His Eminence
To the Most Reverend (name),
Bishop (name of diocese),
Petition.
When contacting to the archbishop or Metropolitan:
His Eminence
Your Eminence (name),
Archbishop (Metropolitan), (name of diocese),
Petition.
When contacting To the Patriarch:
His Holiness
His Holiness Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus'
Alexy
Petition.
They usually end a petition or letter with these words: “I ask for the prayers of Your Eminence...”.
Priests, who are, in fact, under church obedience, write: “Humble novice of Your Eminence...”.
At the bottom of the sheet they put the date according to the old and new styles, indicating the saint whose memory the Church honors on this day. For example: July 5/18. St. Sergius of Radonezh.
Arriving at an appointment with the bishop at the diocesan administration, they approach the secretary or head of the chancellery, introduce themselves and tell them why they are asking for an appointment. Entering the bishop’s office, they say the prayer: “Through the prayers of our holy Master, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us,” they cross themselves onto the icon in the red corner, approach the bishop and ask for his blessing. At the same time, there is no need to kneel or prostrate out of excessive reverence or fear (unless, of course, you have come confessing to some sin).
There are usually many priests in the diocesan administration, but it is not necessary to take a blessing from each of them. In addition, there is a clear rule: in the presence of the bishop, they do not take blessings from the priests, but only greet them with a slight bow of the head.
If a bishop leaves his office for the reception, he is approached for blessing in order: first the priests (according to seniority), then the laity (men, then women).
The bishop's conversation with someone is not interrupted by a request for a blessing, but they wait until the end of the conversation. They think about their appeal to the bishop in advance and present it briefly, without unnecessary gestures or facial expressions. At the end of the conversation, they again ask for the bishop’s blessing and, having crossed themselves at the icon in the red corner, they sedately leave.
OUTSIDE THE CHURCH WALLS
Church person in the family
Family life is everyone's private matter. But since the family is considered a home church, we can talk about church etiquette here too.
Church piety and home piety are interrelated and complementary. A true son or daughter of the Church remains such outside the Church. The Christian worldview determines the entire structure of a believer’s life. Without touching here on the big topic of domestic piety, let us touch on some issues related to etiquette.
Appeal. Name. Since the name of an Orthodox Christian has a mystical meaning and is associated with our heavenly patron, it should be used in the family, if possible, in its full form: Nikolai, Kolya, but not Kolcha, Kolyunya; Innocent, but not Kesha; Olga, but not Lyalka, etc. The use of affectionate forms is not excluded, but it must be reasonable. Familiarity in speech often indicates that invisibly family relationships have lost their trepidation, that routine has taken over. It is also unacceptable to call pets (dogs, cats, parrots, guinea pigs, etc.) by human names. Love for animals can turn into a genuine passion; when it burns out, it diminishes the love for God and man.
House, apartment A church person should be an example of everyday and spiritual conformity. To limit yourself to the required number of things, kitchen utensils, furniture means to see the measure of the spiritual and material, giving preference to the first. A Christian does not chase fashion; this concept should generally be absent from the world of his values. A believer knows that every thing requires attention, care, time, which is often not enough for communication with loved ones, for prayer, and reading the Holy Scriptures. Finding a compromise between Martha and Mary (according to the Gospel), fulfilling the Christian conscientious duties of the owner, mistress of the house, father, mother, son, daughter, and at the same time not forgetting about one thing in the cellar - this is a whole spiritual art, spiritual wisdom. Undoubtedly, the spiritual center of the house, gathering the whole family during hours of prayer and spiritual conversations, should be a room with a well-chosen set of icons (home iconostasis), orienting worshipers to the east.
Icons should be in every room, as well as in the kitchen and hallway. The absence of an icon in the hallway usually causes some confusion among believers who come to visit: when they enter the house and want to cross themselves, they do not see the image. Confusion (on both sides) is also caused by ignorance by either the guest or the host of the usual form of greeting for believers. The person entering says: “Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us,” to which the owner replies: “Amen”; or the guest says: “Peace to your home,” and the host replies: “We accept you in peace.”
In the apartment of a church person, spiritual books should not be on the same rack (shelf) with worldly, secular books. It is not customary to wrap spiritual books in newspaper. The church newspaper is under no circumstances used for household needs. Spiritual books, magazines, and newspapers that have become unusable are burned.
In the red corner next to the icons, portraits and photographs of people dear to the owners are not placed.
Icons are not placed on the TV and are not hung above the TV.
Under no circumstances should plaster, wooden or other images of pagan gods, ritual masks of African or Indian tribes, etc., which are now so common, be kept in the apartment.
It is advisable to invite a guest who comes (even for a short time) to tea. A good example here is Eastern hospitality, the positive influence of which is so noticeable in the cordiality of Orthodox Christians living in Central Asia and the Caucasus. When inviting guests for a specific occasion (name day, birthday, church holiday, baptism of a child, wedding, etc.), they first think through the composition of the guests. At the same time, they proceed from the fact that believers have a different worldview and interests than people who are far from faith. Therefore, it may happen that a non-believer will find conversations on a spiritual topic incomprehensible and boring, and this may offend and offend. Or it may happen that the whole evening will be spent on a heated (hopefully not fruitless) argument, when the holiday will be forgotten. But if the invitee is on the path to faith, looking for the truth, such meetings at the table can benefit him. Good recordings of sacred music or a film about holy places can brighten up the evening, as long as it is moderate and not overly drawn out.
At baptism the godmother gives the child-godson “rizki” (fabric or material in which the baby is wrapped when taken out of the baptismal font), a christening shirt and a cap with lace and ribbons; The color of these ribbons should be: for girls - pink, for boys - blue. In addition to the gift, the godfather, at his discretion, is obliged to prepare a cross for the newly baptized and pay for the christening. Both the godfather and the godmother can give gifts to the child's mother.
Wedding gifts. It is the groom's responsibility to buy the rings. According to an old church rule, a gold ring is required for the groom (the head of the family is the sun), and a silver ring for the bride (the mistress is the moon, shining with reflected sunlight). The year, month and day of engagement are carved on the inside of both rings. In addition, the initial letters of the bride's first and last names are cut out on the inside of the groom's ring, and the initial letters of the groom's first and last names are cut out on the inside of the bride's ring. In addition to gifts for the bride, the groom gives a gift to the parents and brothers and sisters of the bride. The bride and her parents, for their part, also give a gift to the groom.
If there will be a planted father and mother at the wedding (they replace their parents at the wedding for the bride and groom), then after the wedding they should meet the newlyweds at the entrance to the house with an icon (held by the planted father) and bread and salt (offered by the planted mother). According to the rules, the imprisoned father must be married, and the imprisoned mother must be married.
As for the best man, he must certainly be single. There can be several best men (both from the groom's side and from the bride's side).
Before leaving for church, the groom's best man hands the bride on behalf of the groom a bouquet of flowers, which should be: for the bride - orange flowers and myrtle, and for the widow (or second-wed) - white roses and lilies of the valley.
At the entrance to the church, ahead of the bride, according to custom, is a boy of five to eight years old, who carries the icon.
During a wedding, the main duty of the best man and maid of honor is to hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. It can be quite difficult to hold the crown with your hand raised up for a considerable time. Therefore, groomsmen can alternate among themselves. In the church, relatives and friends on the groom's side stand on the right (that is, behind the groom), and on the bride's side - on the left (that is, behind the bride). It is considered extremely indecent to leave the church before the wedding is over.
The main manager at a wedding is the best man. Together with a close friend of the bride, he goes around the guests to collect money, which is then donated to the church for charitable causes.
Toasts and wishes that are pronounced at a wedding in families of believers, of course, should be primarily of spiritual content. Here they remember: the purpose of Christian marriage; about what love is in the understanding of the Church; about the duties of husband and wife, according to the Gospel; about how to build a family - a home church, etc. The wedding of church people takes place in compliance with the requirements of decency and moderation.
Finally, a few notes about the time when all festivities are abandoned. This is a time of mourning, that is, an outward expression of feelings of sadness for the deceased. There are deep mourning and ordinary mourning.
Deep mourning is worn only for father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, husband, wife, brother, sister. Mourning for father and mother lasts one year. According to grandparents - six months. For the husband - two years, for the wife - one year. For children - one year. For brother and sister - four months. According to uncle, aunt and cousin - three months. If a widow, contrary to decency, enters into a new marriage before the end of mourning for her first husband, then she should not invite any of the guests to the wedding. These periods can be shortened or increased if, before death, those remaining in this earthly vale received a special blessing from the dying person, for pre-death benevolence and blessing (especially parental) are treated with respect and reverence.
In general, in Orthodox families, no important decisions are made without the blessing of parents or elders. From an early age, children learn to ask for the blessings of their father and mother even for everyday activities: “Mommy, I’m going to bed, bless me.” And the mother, having crossed the child, says: “A guardian angel for your sleep.” A child goes to school, on a hike, to a village (to a city) - on all paths he is protected by his parents' blessing. If possible, parents add visible signs, gifts, blessings to their blessing (at the marriage of their children or before their death): crosses, icons, holy relics. The Bible, which, forming a home shrine, is passed down from generation to generation.
The inexhaustible bottomless sea of church life. It is clear that this small book contains only some outlines of church etiquette.
As we say goodbye to the pious reader, we ask for his prayers.
Notes:
There is no spiritual justification for the practice of some parishes, where parishioners who work in the kitchen, in the sewing workshop, etc., are called mothers. In the world, it is customary to call only the wife of a priest (priest) a mother.
In Orthodox families, birthdays are celebrated less solemnly than name days (unlike Catholics and, of course, Protestants).
How to properly contact a clergyman?
In order to correctly address the monk (nun) of the monastery, you need to know that in the monasteries there are novices (novices), cassock monks (nuns), robed monks (nuns), schemamonks (schemanuns). In a monastery, some of the monks have priestly rank (serve as deacons and priests). Conversion in monasteries is accepted as follows:
A monk who does not have holy orders is addressed: " father", "honest brother";
To a novice - “brother” (if the novice is in old age - “father”);
When addressing schema-monks, if rank is used, the prefix “skhema” is added - for example: “I ask for your prayers”;
To the deacon (archdeacon, protodeacon): “father (arch-, proto-) deacon” or simply: “father (name)”;
To the priest and hieromonk: " father (name)" or " Your Reverence";
To the archpriest, abbot and archimandrite: “Your Reverence.”
You can address the governor with an indication of his position (“Father Governor, bless”) or using his name (“Father Laurus, bless”), perhaps simply “father” (rarely used). In an official setting: “Your Reverence” (if the governor is an archimandrite or abbot) or “Your Reverence” (if a hieromonk). In the third person they say: “father governor”, “father Laurus”.
The dean is addressed: with an indication of his position (“father dean”), with the addition of a name (“father Evangel”), “father.” In the third person: “father dean” (“turn to father dean”) or “father... (name).”
The confessor is addressed using his name (“Father Sergius”) or simply “father.” In the third person: “what the confessor will advise,” “what Father Sergius will say.”
If the housekeeper, sacristan, treasurer, cellarer have priestly rank, to them
You can address yourself as “father” and ask for blessings. If they are not ordained, but have been tonsured, they say: “father housekeeper”, “father treasurer”
Addressing a priest “father” is a Russian church tradition, acceptable, but not official. Therefore, it should not be used in formal address.
A novice and a nun can be called "sister". The ubiquitous address “mother” in women’s monasteries is correctly applied only to the abbess. Father Schema-Archimandrite." The Abbess of the convent will be addressed politely: “Venerable Mother (name)” or “Mother (name).”
You should address the bishop: “Your Eminence,” “Most Reverend Vladyka,” or simply “Vladyka” (or using the vocative case of the Slavic language: “Vladyko”);
to the archbishop and metropolitan - “Your Eminence” or “Your Eminence Vladyka.”
The Patriarch, referred to in the title as “The Most Holiness,” must be addressed: “Your Holiness.”
In church practice, it is not customary to greet a priest with the words: “Hello”, “Good afternoon”; they say "Bless you!" At the same time, if they are next to the priest, they fold their palms to receive a blessing (right over left).
The priest, when pronouncing the words: “God bless” or “In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” places the sign of the cross on the layman and places his right blessing hand on his palm, which the layman kisses.
The priest can apply the sign of the cross to the bowed head of a layman with the laying on of his palm, and he can bless from a distance.
A common mistake made by people with little church life is to apply the sign of the cross to themselves before taking a blessing from a priest.
A monk who is not ordained is addressed as “honest brother”, “father”. To the deacon (archdeacon, protodeacon): “father (arch-, proto-) deacon (name)” or simply: “father (name)”; to the priest and hieromonk - “Your Reverence” or “father (name)”; to the archpriest, protopresbyter, abbot and archimandrite: “Your Reverence.” Addressing a priest: “father,” which is a Russian church tradition, is acceptable, but is not official. A novice and a nun can be called "sister". The ubiquitous address “mother” in women’s monasteries is more correctly applied only to the abbess. The abbess of the convent will consider it quite polite to address: “Venerable Mother (name)” or “Mother (name).” You should address the bishop: “Your Eminence,” “Most Reverend Vladyka,” or simply “Vladyka” (or using the vocative case of the Slavic language: “Vladyko”); to the archbishop and metropolitan - “Your Eminence” or “Your Eminence Vladyka.” In the Local Churches of the Orthodox East, an archimandrite and, in general, a monastic cleric with a higher theological education are addressed: “Panosiologiotate” (Your Reverence; at the root of the word the word “logos” is added, which in Greek has the following meanings: word, mind, etc. .). To the hieromonk and hierodeacon who do not have a higher theological education: “Panosiotate” (Your Reverence). To a priest and deacon who have a higher theological education: “Aidesimologiotate” (Your Reverence) and “Hierologitate.” A priest and a deacon who do not have a higher theological education are addressed respectively: “Aidesimotate” (Your Reverence) and “Evlabestate.” Any ruling bishop is addressed: “Sebasmiotate”; a suffragan bishop: “Theophylestate” (this address can also apply to an archimandrite); to the titular metropolitan (i.e., to the bishop who bears the honorary title of metropolitan, but does not actually have the metropolis under his control): “Paneirotate.”
The Patriarch, referred to in the title as “Holiness,” must be addressed: “Your Holiness”; to the Primate of the Local Church, whose title contains the epithet “Most Beatitude”: “Your Beatitude.” The specified rules for addressing clergy should also be observed in correspondence with them (personal or official). Official letters are written on a special form, informal ones - on plain paper or on a letterhead with the name and position of the sender printed in the upper left corner (the reverse side of the sheet is usually not used). It is not customary for the Patriarch to send a letter on letterhead. Examples of forms used for official correspondence will be given in the next section. Every letter consists of the following parts: indication of the addressee, address (address-title), working text, final compliment, signature and date. In an official letter, the addressee's indication includes the person's full title and position, which are indicated in the dative case, for example: “To His Eminence, the Most Reverend (name), Archbishop (name of the department), Chairman (name of the Synodal Department, commission, etc.)” . Priests at lower hierarchical levels are addressed more briefly: His Most Reverend Archpriest (or Priest) (name, surname, position); in this case, the surname of the monastic person, if indicated, is always given in parentheses.
Address-title is an honorary title of the addressee with which the letter should begin and which should be used in its further text, for example: “Your Holiness” (in a letter to the Patriarch), “Your Majesty” (in a letter to the monarch), “Your Excellency” etc. A compliment is an expression of politeness with which a letter ends. The author's personal signature (not a facsimile, which is used only when sending a letter by fax) is usually accompanied by a printed transcript. The date the letter was sent must include the day, month and year; in official letters its outgoing number is also indicated. Authors-bishops depict a cross before their signature. For example: “+ Alexy, Archbishop of Orekhovo-Zuevsky.” This version of the bishop's signature is primarily a Russian tradition. The rules for addressing clergy accepted in the Russian Orthodox Church are briefly illustrated in the following table.
|
Religious clergy |
Secular clergy |
Appeal |
|
|
Hierodeacon |
Deacon (protodeacon, archdeacon) |
Father (name) |
|
|
Hieromonk |
Priest |
Your Reverence, Father (name) |
|
|
Abbot Archimandrite |
Archpriest Protopresbyter |
Your Reverence, Father (name) |
|
|
Abbess |
Venerable Mother |
||
|
Bishop (ruling, vicar) |
Your Eminence, Most Reverend Bishop |
||
|
Archbishop Metropolitan |
Your Eminence, Most Reverend Bishop |
||
|
Patriarch |
Your Holiness, Most Holy Lord |
When writing to the hierarchs of the Local Orthodox Churches, one should remember that the title of the Primate of the Church - Patriarch, Metropolitan, Archbishop - is always written with a capital letter. The spelling of the title of First Hierarch of the Autonomous Church looks the same. If the First Hierarch bears the double (triple) title of Patriarch and Metropolitan (Archbishop), then all these titles must also begin with a capital letter, for example: His Beatitude Theoctistus, Archbishop of Bucharest, Metropolitan of Muntena and Dobrogea, Patriarch of Romania. As a rule, the number “II” in the name of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy of Moscow and All Rus' is omitted. It must be taken into account that in the Orthodox East only the Patriarch of Constantinople is called “Your Holiness”; all other Primates of Local Churches are titled: “Your Beatitude”, “Most Beatitude”. This is exactly how the First Hierarch of the Church of Constantinople addresses the Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus'. However, in the traditions of the Russian Church it is customary to call the Patriarch of All Rus': “Your Holiness.” The Russian Orthodox Church has developed standard forms of written appeal to a person holding holy orders. These types of appeals are called petitions or reports (as opposed to statements accepted in secular society). A petition (by the very meaning of the name) is a text asking for something. The report may also contain a request, but more often it is an informational document. A secular person may well turn to a clergyman with a simple letter, without calling his appeal either a report or a petition. A type of church correspondence is written congratulations on the holiday of the Holy Resurrection of Christ, the Nativity of Christ, Angel's Day and other solemn events. Traditionally, the text of such congratulations is preceded by a greeting corresponding to the holiday, for example, in the Easter message these are the words: “Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen!” It should be noted that in matters of correspondence, the form of letters is often no less important than the content itself. Speaking about the general style of correspondence, we can recommend taking as a model the letters and addresses of the hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church, published in different years in the Journal of the Moscow Patriarchate. Regardless of the attitude towards the addressee, it is necessary to adhere to the prescribed forms of politeness in the text of the letter, which ensure respect for the official position of the sender and the addressee and any change in which can be understood as a deliberate disregard for etiquette or insufficient expression of respect. It is especially important to observe the protocol of international official correspondence - here it is important to show the recipients of correspondence the signs of respect to which they are entitled, while at the same time maintaining the relationship of ranks between the sender and the addressee; the adopted protocol is structured in such a way that relations between Churches, states and their representatives are based on equality, respect and mutual correctness. Thus, when mentioning any clergy person, especially a bishop, in a letter, you should not use the third person pronoun - “he”: it is better to replace it with a short title: “His Eminence” (this also applies to oral speech). The same should be said about demonstrative pronouns, which, when addressing hierarchs, are replaced by titles, which emphasizes your respect for the addressee (for example, instead of: I ask you - I ask Your Holiness); in some countries (for example, in France) this is the only way to address high clergy. When composing official and private letters, a certain difficulty arises in composing the title address, i.e., the first sentence of a written address, and the compliment, the phrase that completes the text. The most common form of address when composing a letter addressed to His Holiness the Patriarch is: “Your Holiness, Most Holy Master and Gracious Father!”
The epistolary heritage left to us by outstanding figures of the Russian Orthodox Church throughout its centuries-old history reveals a wide variety of forms of addressing, as well as compliments that complete written addresses. It seems that examples of these forms, used in the 19th-20th centuries closest to us in time, can be useful today. The knowledge and use of such phrases in written communication among Church members significantly enriches vocabulary, reveals the richness and depth of the native language, and most importantly, serves as an expression of Christian love.
http://pravhram.prihod.ru/articles/view/id/4990