Composure - it is self-control, lack of fear, confidence in oneself and in one's actions; the ability not to panic in a tense situation and calmly analyze the causes of the problem, find a way out of a difficult situation. A cold-blooded person is non-conflict, he controls his emotions and maintains composure. This is a very valuable character trait, which, at times, cannot be avoided in difficult life situations.
Composure and indifference are special character traits
Another similar quality is indifference. During the time when an emotional person goes into hysterics or is depressed, indifferent enjoys a carefree life and believes that it is not worth spending feelings on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudice.
We all sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always control ourselves. Even the most calm and balanced a person can be pissed off... Therefore, it is very important to be able to restrain your emotions and be cool-headed. A person is capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. If good emotions bring us great joy, then negativity in the same volume fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. Sometimes, you can't cope with them, they knock you out of a rut. And it's worth considering how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.
Fear is the main reason for the lack of control over bad emotions. From an early age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that he is not, but he is always in service; he is in our mind, guides us, sends signals (stimuli) and often instead of common sense the instinct of self-preservation works in us. It digs into the nervous system by its roots and destroys it, a person becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.
Cold-bloodedness and indifference are the enemies of fear, thanks to these qualities, a person dominates fear and controls feelings, which affects relations with others, the result of his own endeavors, mood and harmony of the soul.
How to become cold-blooded?
There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cold-blooded, you need to follow the advice of psychologists.
Necessary:
- establish internal balance;
- learn endurance;
- visualize;
- not dramatize;
- distracted;
- be indifferent to the problem.
To establish inner balance, you need to move away from your fear, thus, you can remain stable and come to the realization of the problem. For example, if you forget that there is fear before any important event, then having calmed down, you can realize that the event is necessary, thereby inevitable. Breathing should be monitored, it should be even, this will give calmness. You need to understand that problems are tasks that need to be solved; as in school mathematics: focusing. Of course, it's not easy, but this is how you need to educate yourself in order to become cold-blooded.
To be endured, it is necessary see the main thing in the problem, for this you need to fence off all unnecessary. Consciousness will be devoid of all interfering barriers, which will help make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show such qualities as sympathy and mutual understanding, they are the main assistants, ready for long-term endurance in the most problematic situation.
To visualize is to imagine the most difficult life circumstances like a spider web to untangle. Nervous, it will be difficult to do this, she will become even more confused, and in a calm environment the result will be completely different. By presenting the problem in the form of a cobweb, understanding will come to calm down.
To get cold blooded need to think about the situation rather than worry. Sort it out on the shelves, weigh the pros and cons, and determine the decision. Take your time and tell everyone about what is bothering you. It is better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be wrong, especially on emotions.
There is no need to dramatize and exaggerate the problem. Necessary assess the situation soberly, follow your thoughts. They can lead you in an unnecessary direction. To prevent this from happening, you should force yourself to think that the problems are trivial and that it will not be difficult to solve them.
It is important to distract from the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This method will help you stay calm and relaxed.
How to be indifferent?
- Move away from yourself.
- Change behavior.
You need to distance yourself from yourself. Each person has their own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it's better not to be yourself, but to become a witness of the situation and look at it from the outside, this will be the first step towards indifference. You have to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you shouldn't really live the plot of this movie. Better determine in what genre the film, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to predict what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you will not worry so much about yourself and accumulate internal anxiety, but you will see a way out of the situation.
It is important to control your behavior and body, because in a strong desire to become indifferent, it is unlikely that anything will work out if you do not relax. Behave neutral, do not spend money on unnecessary emotions, avoid provocations that can affect your emotions. Treat all people as if they were strangers. Talk to family and friends as if you do not know them, this will undoubtedly make you behave confidently, be decent, and speak tactfully and naturally.
But still need to stay open, and perceive the situation, otherwise there is a risk of becoming a closed and alienated pessimist. It is not difficult to be indifferent: carelessness, avoiding problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the measure of your feelings, including indifference.
As you can see, becoming cold-blooded is not so difficult. Be prudent!
A very important skill for any person is the ability to remain calm, regardless of the situation in which he finds himself. All negative emotions and experiences, such as panic, fear, anger, can completely deprive you of your strength, without giving anything in return. Those who do not know how to keep a cool head and manage their own, very often become victims of stress and nervous breakdowns, which over time can transform into a chronic disease. And vice versa, those who are able to keep their nerves in check, are able to achieve success in all their endeavors, know how to build harmonious relationships with others, always cope with all the planned things on time.
How to become cold-blooded and how to learn to manage your emotions? There are many tips for this, which scientists have seriously worked on creating.
Council number 1.
Regardless of what situation you find yourself in, first of all try to soberly analyze it and give it an adequate assessment. It may turn out that under the influence of emotions you inflate the most ordinary fly into an elephant. Channel your thoughts in a positive direction. Make yourself think that you are stronger than the circumstances and the problem is not as bad as it seems at first glance. This will help you get rid of unnecessary anxiety.
Council number 2.
When faced with any problem, first try to solve it with your own. Only if you can't do it - share this with others. Very often, when you start talking about an incident with horror in your eyes, your interlocutors begin to react to it in the same way as you, and you, looking at them, yourself are convinced of the complexity of the situation, even if it is not as scary as it seemed to you at first.
Council number 3.
When faced with a difficult situation, try to imagine it as a heavy knot that becomes even more tangled when you are, and unravels when you calm down, thereby giving you a chance to untangle it.
Council number 4.
On the question of how to become cold-blooded, it is very important to learn how to control your facial expressions, gestures and movements. Don't fuss, don't run from corner to corner, and don't scream. Remain outwardly calm and equanimous, and without noticing it, you can actually calm down and make the most correct decisions.
Council number 5.
It is very difficult to stay cool when your body is exhausted and you are tired. If you have not been able to get enough sleep or are feeling hungry, your behavior can easily become irritable. Try to keep your body comfortable at all times. Moderate physical activity can also help in this matter.
Council number 6.
Remember that breathing is a powerful tool with which every person, in whatever situation he is, can pull himself together. A person who is under the influence of emotions and experiences, as a rule, breathes intermittently, not rhythmically, in small breaths. Try to breathe deeply, deeply, and you yourself will see that yours will begin to come in order, and you will calm down.
Pushkin's catchphrase has long become a catchphrase: "The less we love a woman, the easier she likes us." Indeed, we are often drawn to those who treat us with indifference or disdain. True, women deliberately use such tactics more often, say psychologists from the University of Western Sydney and the Singapore University of Management.
Most people don't really appreciate what they get without effort. Therefore, if we immediately open our arms to meet a person, he can quickly lose interest in us. Conversely, if we are capricious, the partner gets hooked. After all, the one who reciprocates the first comer, apparently, does not have too much choice. And the lack of interest suggests that there is a choice, and to be “that one, the only one”, you will have to tinker a lot ... And conquering the Snow Queen is much more interesting than Cinderella ...
The study, which was attended by over one and a half thousand people, analyzed the various strategies of flirting and courtship used by both sexes. It turned out that the participants used as many as 58 thoughtful tactics associated with ostentatious indifference towards a potential partner, and they were more often used by the fair sex.
The most popular methods of winning a partner were recognized as demonstrating increased self-esteem, flirting with other members of the opposite sex in the process of flirting, and refusing to have sex.
Who and How Practices Indifference to Attract
It was also noted that women are much more likely than men to use such a weapon as sarcasm in conversation, more often refer to being busy, and also tend to tease men, disrupt dates and turn on the answering machine when their chosen one should call, even if they are at home. ...
Of course, there are also men who practice this kind of flirting. They can demonstrate rudeness or a dismissive attitude on the verge of insult in dealing with ladies. Many representatives of the stronger sex also admitted that sometimes they avoid calling their girlfriends or answering their calls, although they never admit this to the ladies in person.
Experts believe that some gender bias in the use of "neglect" tactics is due to the difference in the biological roles of men and women. Since an accidental relationship can lead to pregnancy, a woman, before entering into a close relationship, seeks to test her partner's feelings for strength, otherwise she will have to raise future offspring alone.
But if a man is engaged in such tests for lice, he risks being left without a partner - seeing a cold or negative attitude towards herself, the lady will sooner or later simply wave her pen ...
True, if a lady behaves too inaccessibly, she risks attracting the attention of a man for whom “taking the citadels” is just a game, psychologists say. As soon as he achieves his goal, he will immediately lose interest in this person. So don't overdo it!
The fact that men and women are creatures from different galaxies has been known for many centuries. This is evidenced by thousands of books written, in the storylines of which passions never subside for a minute - the struggle of calmness and impulsiveness, logic and intuition, restraint and emotionality.
Not a single psychologist will say for sure how such opposite sides can coexist side by side - male and female, yin and yang! But one thing is clear for sure - man and woman are made for each other. True, to understand this, some representatives of one sex or another need time, and a kind of test of a partner with time, behavior, and a certain strategy.
Female indifference to a man as a test
It's no secret that women's logic, if it exists, of course, is something supernatural. Sometimes, a woman herself cannot explain to herself the purpose of a particular act, or intention. The fact is that their subconscious can play a cruel joke with both men and women.
This can be explained as follows - if we can very confidently control our consciousness, and sort all our beliefs according to certain principles, then this business will not work with the subconscious. It periodically reminds of itself by the manifestation of certain unconscious actions.
This fact is directly related to relationships with men. It so happens that a woman feels a mutual attraction to a male representative, notices mutual interest, but here a number of obstacles appear on guard, expressed in doubts:
- is it reliable enough;
- how purposeful he is;
- he is brave or cowardly;
- knows how to take responsibility.
It would seem, why is this psychological analysis needed and what does it give if the relationship does not promise to be long ?! The fact is that each person is naturally programmed to create a pair.
To continue offspring, as paradoxical as it may sound, a woman needs a confident male who is able to make responsible decisions and take care of her loved ones. Based on this, a woman resorts to this kind of tricks in order to make sure that her choice is correct.
Female indifference to a man as a lack of feelings
Often, the meeting of opposite sexes does not contribute to the appearance of the necessary spark, which should subsequently develop into a flame of passion. There can be many reasons for this:
- external unattractiveness;
- a woman's fear of a new relationship;
- disappointment in men;
- well, just - lack of interest.
It is possible to make attempts to conquer a woman in such cases, but one should not hope for a favorable outcome. In some cases, this will simply make the woman angry and frustrated even more.
Perhaps a woman will allow her to condescend for a small period of courtship in order to amuse her pride, but later it is unlikely that something will come of it. As they say: "If there is a spark, you cannot hide it, and if not, you cannot invent it." Sometimes, men go against the nature of feelings, conquer a woman who experiences absolutely nothing. And as a result, they get a wife who does not love in marriage, who will turn his family life into a nightmare.
Why men are attracted to female indifference
Men, as ingenuous creatures, often do not distinguish in which cases a woman plays, and in which it is really not worth making attempts to establish a relationship. By nature, a real man is a male, in whose subconsciousness purposefulness is one of the first places.
And no matter what the goal is in front of him. As the saying goes: "I see the goal, I see no obstacles." This is one of a number of reasons why feminine indifference attracts men. In such cases, the fairer sex for them is simply a goal to which they sooner or later must come. And often, it doesn't matter what a woman feels in such cases. This type of men is not particularly interested in what a lady has in her soul - hidden love, indifference or disgust.
Falling in love is another important reason why a man will be drawn to a woman who ignores him. If these are really high feelings, the force of attraction in this case doubles.
Male interest increases, he becomes more decisive - "How so, I fell in love, but she ignores me ?!" Male curiosity in such cases knows no boundaries, and can be embodied in the most unexpected actions. And all just so that the lady of the heart would descend from her throne and pay attention to him.
Wedding or runaway groom
And so, at one fine moment, a woman lifts the veil of her mystery and feigned indifference, and allows a traveler who meets her to look into her heart, who has been hanging around her royal palace that day. And what's going on ?!
In the first case, the so-called prince will come to visit, see what and how, take advantage of the hospitality, and come to the conclusion - oh, why do I need it ?! And so carefully, in reverse and imperceptibly removed from the royal chambers, leaving the chosen bride in bewilderment and sadness.
At first, she will not understand what it was - a breath of wind or really someone came into her mansion. And only persistent courtship and fiery speeches of a gentleman from the past will cause a sad smile on her face, and the thought will creep far into the subconscious: “I knew it” ...
The second option is more optimistic. True, here it is worth considering the restrained behavior of a woman who is going to let the "knight on a white horse" approach her. Restraint, accuracy and self-control can play into the hands of both a man and a woman in such cases.
Often, people rush into a maelstrom of passions, not controlling the further flow of events and letting everything go by itself. This is where a lot of problems happen that do not lead a couple to anything good. And you just need to learn to control yourself and your emotions. And then, even after many years of marriage, a woman will remain a mystery for a man, which he will not tire of solving.
The opinion of psychologists
According to psychologists, women's tactics of behavior, which is manifested in an indifferent attitude, are quite justified, since at the genetic level she chooses for herself the most powerful partner who can achieve what she wants and not deviate from her planned goals.
In such cases, the main thing is to observe the measure so that the man does not give up all his efforts, and does not go home, waving his hand at a promising, but inaccessible relationship.
This well-thought-out tactic of conquering the opposite sex fully justifies itself - the prize at the finish goes to the most persistent and purposeful one. And fans who have left the race will be left with nothing.
Why is this tactic so useful for both sexes ?! It's simple, women are given the opportunity to determine the best of the best. Despite the fact that she does not make any special efforts, but simply observes, and of course, ignores ...
But the man will have to work hard if he intends to get the lady of the heart. To develop the qualities inherent in nature, acquire the necessary skills to achieve what you want, overcome obstacles, and, ultimately, enjoy the obsessed victory!
It is very sad, but today women are increasingly taking the reins of the conqueror in their hands, thereby not allowing a man to get close to the managerial levers. In this way, they doom themselves to the eternal search for a "real" man, whose role they themselves play, performing the functions of a getter and conqueror.
In such cases, indifference can be completely justified and real. A woman is simply disappointed and tired of the excessive responsibilities that she has taken on herself. This is not because she wants it so much, but from the fact that she is forced to do it.
In such cases, when a man meets a strong woman, he is simply lost and cannot choose the direction in which he should move in order to win an independent and self-sufficient woman. And often, he simply gives up.
All men should remember - no matter how strong a woman is, and no matter how she ignores the male gender, a weak and defenseless girl always lives in her soul, who is waiting for someone to come and comfort her. Indifference is just an imaginary fence from the outside world, behind which a defenseless woman is hiding, waiting for her strong and brave knight.
Artificially created obstacles in the form of a cold attitude are just steps along which one has to climb to the top of the iceberg. For many reasons, few dare to overcome this difficult obstacle. Some are afraid of responsibility, others are afraid of the unknown, and the third, at the first difficulties, are simply too lazy to move on.
Winning an indifferent woman is not a task for weaklings. And the more a woman is cold to the chosen one, the more she excites his imagination. And so it was, is and always will be. In such cases, hope remains only for endurance, patience, gallantry and perseverance of a man on the way to the intended victory.
Male tricks and female gimmicks [The best guide to recognizing lies! Simulator book] Narbut Alex
Reception 1. Showy indifference
Reception 1. Showy indifference
One of the favorite techniques of ladies' men and femme fatale. The manipulator shows the object that he is absolutely not interested. Exactly - it shows! Because true indifference is usually hidden under the guise of politeness and even mild interest. The manipulator, while performing the technique, literally burns his object with cold. This technique can be manifested in the fact that the manipulator does not answer the questions of the object (pretends that he did not hear), does not react to his presence, does not look in his direction. But all the time located next to the object.
This technique has a very strong effect on people who are vain, selfish. For example, a woman who considers herself an irresistible beauty will, of course, be offended by such ostentatious disregard. And, of course, he will try to attract the attention of the manipulator. And it is quite possible, and will fall in love with him without memory.
In the same way, women are capable of ostentatious indifference to kindle passion in men who are inclined to exaggerate their masculine qualities.
This technique can be aimed at satisfying two basic needs - sexual attraction and the need for recognition. Moreover, the second is used much less often. So, parents deliberately do not notice the success of their children so that they try even more. And the leaders ignore the zeal of subordinates in order to stimulate them to literally "get out of their way."
Can this manipulation be used for good purposes?
This manipulation is almost impossible to use for good purposes.
If you want to use this technique precisely to address someone's need for recognition, be extremely careful. After all overlooking other people's successes can lead to the fact that a person falls into despair and stops trying altogether. Or he will decide that you are an insensitive blockhead, and will stop paying any attention to you. With this technique, the need for recognition can only affect those people whose opinion is significant for the object (parents, bosses). Therefore, ostentatious indifference is most often directed precisely at the sexual instinct.
How to protect yourself from manipulation
To counteract this technique, you must first detect it. If you notice that someone strenuously pays no attention to you, ask yourself: why, in fact, did I notice this? Watch this person: they may be deliberately ignoring you. If so, rest assured: you are dealing with a manipulator.
In this case, you have two options. First, you can ask directly what he wants from you. Second, you can use the same technique against him. Turn away from him. Don't listen to questions. Don't make eye contact. Don't notice it. In each of these cases, the reaction will be the same: the manipulator will become embarrassed, lose his temper, lose his balance. He will understand that his plan has not worked and will stop manipulating.
From the book Biology of the Transcendent the author Pierce Joseph Chilton
NEW INDIFFERENCE In the 1960s, professors at the University of Tübingen in Germany noticed a marked decline in the level of sensory perception and development of consciousness among their students. (A similar decline was noted in the United States in 1966.) Students did not exhibit 2.6. Indifference Someone else's pain - dirty mongrel, Do not touch the baby, but suddenly contagious! Don't iron it! Get your hands dirty. What for? Take a different path. And the baby grows up knowing: It's easier to live this way without noticing. Why drag someone else's burden, Share trouble? Came up with it too! Take it apart yourself, not for me Male indifference or female delusion A man is not capable of a sharp increase in tone. And gesticulation is not typical for him. The only weakness is the use of a "strong word", which should not be at all in a woman's speech. However, to evoke emotions in male faces Indifference An indifferent person is one who once and for all left us alone. God, surround us with indifferent people! They remain undemanding to our shortcomings under any circumstances; they ignore our weaknesses and mistakes; they will never stop us INDIFFERENT FOR FRIENDS She can spend most of her life with her husband and therefore does not attach much importance to friendship with women. If such a woman is not yet married, she communicates with friends who are preoccupied with the same idea of increasing their own status in Indifference and determination An introvert is able to see and understand the internal processes of a person. This kind of laser was given to him from birth. And from birth, an introverted nature can both hone and tune this laser, being interested in information about people, INDIFFERENT TO SEX "I never tasted sex with my husband, and only after the divorce I understood what they were eating with." D.E. One of the reasons for a woman's indifference to sex is improper sex education in childhood and adolescence. Indifference can be overcome only by signs of attention. Maybe you reason something like this: "He (she) has not told me about his love for a long time, why should I (should) do this?" This kind of reasoning is a very big mistake, it hurts your relationship. Let someone be alone RECEPTION End of October 2006. I have a phone call today. Each person has his own problems, and everyone will expect that I personally give him a hint so that, as if by magic, everything would return to normal. That is, subconsciously, a person seeks to shift to RECEPTION This morning I promised to counsel three. They will call from different countries. The first to call is a woman who was once at the reception. After talking with you, everything in my family returned to normal, ”she says. - But recently I learned about the immoral act of her husband, and Severe indifference to former lovers Natasha's story is terrible. It shows how the indifference that came after love can roll like a roller on the fate of a person who was once close to you. The husband left the family, and to make it impossible for his ex-wife to live, he left her
How to become indifferent to your husband?
In your situation, perhaps, become indifferent and you do not need to try, with such an attitude of your husband to you, it will happen by itself, and this could not have been asked, an unrequited attitude will itself lead to indifference.
If this state of affairs does not suit you, and you want to change it, then as a wise woman you need to show ingenuity, it can be, by the way, as an example, to leave in a prominent place a book or magazine about the psychology of relations between a man and a woman, with a bookmark on the right page, you look, you see, it comes or something else.
(Yes, if you yourself read it only for the good, he reads the newspaper, and you read such a book if he asks What are you reading? - read him the most interesting in your opinion and discuss).
Unfortunately for a woman, the main thing in marriage is the opportunity to speak out, so that she listens and conducts a dialogue, so she relieves stress and rests, but unfortunately not all husbands understand this, which is why many marriages break up.
Try to convey this to his consciousness.
Communication for a woman is very important and in communication, the hormone oxytocin is not produced, which soothes and relieves anxiety.
For example, you can tell him this directly, you see, doydt, or pull out to interest your husband for a walk, a trip to the store, to visit relatives and communicate on the way, in between times, here then take the opportunity to speak calmly about your desires from him to you, about a telephone conversation, etc., whatever you want yourself.
A man, on the other hand, is under a load of problems, stress at work and a drop in testosterone hormone at the end of the day
it may be necessary to have a short rest, he either closes himself in, does not want to talk to anyone, see anyone, look stupidly box, read the newspaper or just take a nap. It is better not to touch it until it passes.
You can just remain calm and be silent with him and he himself may see that something is wrong, remember you and pay attention to you and start a dialogue.
In general, of course, this is all advice, but how you do it is up to you to decide and everything is in your hands.
You can also fill your communication gap in your communication with girlfriends, incl. and by phone, and let the husband replenish the balance, since he himself cannot communicate. Joke.
Best wishes to you!
Here's another little YouTube joke - Smile!
I had the same situation! She could be more indifferent, only after the birth of the child, then there was less time for him and desire, more I want to give my love and attention, to my baby, who reacts to it all
Well, in reality, you will most likely fail to become indifferent. Fortunately or unfortunately, we cannot control our heart so easily. But with our behavior we can.
If you think the change in you will change your husband, try to show him less of your feelings.
* Although, to be honest, I do not really believe that this can help ... In my experience, if a person loves and is ready to show attention, if he does not love and is not ready, then tricks like but now let's make him jealous quotot ; - do not lead to anything positive. Rather, the aggression provoked by jealousy is added to indifference. Therefore, you think again before starting your game.
But if you still decide to change, then you just need to keep it in your head constantly.
It's not easy, yes. Moreover, it can be very difficult. For those who are used to showing their feelings, for open, good people any pretense is painful.
And you probably won't like all of this.
But if ... Then find yourself girlfriends * restore old ties or make friends with new ones *, come up with a hobby, a favorite thing that has absolutely nothing to do with your husband.
And more often communicate with friends, girlfriends, and do what you love.
At the same time, there is no need to show your husband your inattention. That is, I would not advise my husband to say something like: here you do not pay attention to me, for this I act like this ...
Just ask him for advice, plan your days as you see fit.
If my husband says: `` And I thought we were going there ... '' find the strength to say:
I would love to. If you had warned me in advance, I would be happy ... Maybe we can do it tomorrow * the day after tomorrow, next week *?
Do not show any aggression or resentment. It is not necessary for the husband to know at all what you are doing to him in response to his inaction and inattention. He will guess. But he doesn't need to know for sure. You are not offended, you just want to live interestingly. And you live.
If your husband was inattentive to you because of laziness and misunderstanding, he will change. May be)
If he is really satisfied with life when you are apart, then nothing will change. But it won't get any worse. Only you will begin to do what interests you.
Hello dear readers! How often do you have to worry about wasted nerves? Sometimes we all find ourselves in critical situations, come up with the most terrible scenarios for the development of events, but in fact it turns out that the game was not worth the candle and everything is resolved by itself.
Today we will talk about how to become cold-blooded and indifferent, because now you most likely think that this is the only way out of the situation. One cannot continue to live like this.
Most of your reactions are normal.
This chapter's title is the most important golden rule you need to understand first. Many people lack the awareness that they are actually completely normal and that their reactions are quite natural.
In trying to become a cold-blooded person, you may lose your strengths. Why do you want to become calmer, to cool down towards people? You, but the spent nerves indicate that a certain person is dear to you and that you are worried about your future.
For example, you often express your dissatisfaction with your husband, but does this not mean that you are showing yourself at this moment as a caring woman? Do they not show your responsible attitude and professional approach to business?
By being cold-blooded about everything, you can lose everyone. Will it become completely different, devoid of benefits, advantages, brightness? Think about it, sometimes reconciling and accepting yourself as you are is the best solution out there.
Next time, think about whether they are normal and what your positive qualities are. If you would like to become a little calmer, I can offer some useful tips from psychology.
Do not share
The next time you are faced with a difficulty that will evoke strong emotions in you, try to exhale first of all and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call your friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.
You need to instill in yourself a rule - to solve the problem where it arose, and not to chat it up. Give yourself some time to cool off and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can ask for help or advice from loved ones, but do not shift the decision to them.
Forbid yourself to discuss the incident, what will you do in this case?
Rejoice
No matter how many techniques you learn to be cool-headed, yours will be the deciding factor. More often than not, you immediately forget about all the techniques as soon as a real problem arises. Enjoy the opportunity to change everything. Right now you have a chance to practice. One can spend several years studying Zen, but when faced with the trouble of losing his temper.
As soon as you have the opportunity, be cool and indifferent, at least outwardly, and then be sure to praise yourself and give a gift for doing the right thing. This is how, bit by bit, you can become a new person.
Literature
It is impossible to describe all the techniques that will help in one article. Fortunately, there are many excellent books on this topic that have become bestsellers. I would like to recommend some of them to you.
In the book Osho "Meditations for Busy People"... You will find a whole slew of techniques to help you relieve stress at the most critical moment. You will understand where the experiences come from, you will be able to establish control of the mind over the body, you will learn how to meditate while eating, having sex and penetrate into silence when the screams around and the situation gets out of control. You will learn to appeal to the voice of the heart and mind when it seems to others that it is impossible.
If you prefer a psychological approach to problems, then I recommend reading "Resilience to Stress" by Sharon Melnik... It pays great attention to the rules and strategies, harmony and, most importantly, tranquility: how; the 50% rule or what to do with what you have no control over; what is intelligent detachment and how to address it; concentrate in 3 minutes, as well as where the buttons "on" and "off" your emotions are located.
That's basically all, do not forget to subscribe to the mailing list so as not to get confused in the world of psychology and always receive relevant and useful advice that works every day. Until next time and good luck.