How to properly talk on the phone with a woman. How to talk to a girl on the phone Non-verbal signs of falling in love

Talking on the phone is quite a common enterprise today. But why is such a dream? Some experts claim that this is just a projection of a part of reality. But is it? We suggest delving deeper into this topic and find out what the dream books say about this.

Why dream of talking on the phone

It is believed that talking on the phone is a purely female inclination, but in reality everything is not quite so: today children, men, girls and women decide their questions over the phone. Perhaps that is why in a dream, a person periodically observes pictures when he himself is talking on the phone, or someone calls him.

Psychologist Freud in his dream book he gives such an explanation: the telephone in dreams symbolizes the connection of the sleeping person with the world, therefore the exact interpretation of the dream depends on many components: with whom exactly the person is going to talk in his dream, what quality of communication took place, and who was the initiator of the conversation. We propose to understand the details.

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Why dream of talking on the phone with an ex-boyfriend

Such a dream is a sign that it is time to leave the past in the past and come to grips with your present. But here it is important to remember who exactly initiated this conversation:

if you dream that an ex-boyfriend called, it means that in real life he hopes to resume the relationship;

if she dreams that the sleeping woman called her ex, she is not ready to accept the breakup, but if the conversation with the ex did not work out, she is ready to move on, and soon her life will improve;

if you dreamed that the connection during a conversation with the ex was very bad, and it was impossible to speak - in the dreamer's life there is a great threat of gossip and intrigue from her colleagues.

Talking on the phone with a man in a dream

If you dream of a telephone conversation with a man, this can have several meanings:

if you dream of a conversation with a man, then for a woman this means that she is loved and desired, everything in her life is in perfect order, especially if she is talking with the object of her passion;

if a girl dreamed, this promises her a quick acquaintance;

if a man dreamed, this is a foreshadowing of the manifestation of ill-wishers, however, if he dreamed that he was talking to his good friend, it means that soon he will receive tangible support from him and will be able to cope with troubles.

Miller's dream book gives such meaning to such dreams:

in the real life of the sleeper, a difficult period has come, stress and experiences await him, if the conversation in the dream was loud and clear - the dreamer will be able to cope with his problems and the unsuccessful period will soon pass without a trace.

if the conversation was fuzzy and abrupt, then another influx of negativity is expected, but if the sleeping person does not focus his attention on the problems, then nothing serious will happen.

Talking on the phone in a dream with the deceased

Dream interpretation of Wangi assures his readers that talking to the deceased in dreams is a good sign. Especially if it is a conversation with close people: with the late grandmother, grandfather, etc.

According to the compiler, in this way, relatives try to contact their relatives and give advice, which they need at this stage. Try to remember the essence of the conversation with the deceased.

Dream interpretation Hasse on this occasion, he gives the following interpretation: talking with deceased relatives - in real life, one should beware of enemies.

Slavic dream book prepares the sleeper, who saw his conversation on the phone with the deceased for important news in reality.

Talking to a woman on the phone in a dream

Freud's dream book gives an interpretation for a man who sees a conversation with a beloved woman as a manifestation of his inner desire. The psychologist believes that the dream projects the real desires of the sleeper to speak with the desired woman, see her and touch her.

Loff's dream book gives such an interpretation - if a woman is dreaming, this is a harbinger of intrigues, however, if this conversation was dreamed of with a loved one, for example, with a sister or mother, this is a good sign, which means that in reality a woman will have to hear good news.

Talking on the phone in a dream with a loved one

According to most interpretations of dreams, in which the dreamer talks to his loved one, it is a good sign:

zemma's dream book: if you dream in a dream the voice of a loved one or a person who is very pleasant for both man and woman, the dream means that they think of you and are waiting for a meeting;

tsvetkov's dream book:if you dreamed in a dream that the dreamer was going to talk with his beloved - soon important changes will take place in his life, for a woman this may portend a quick meeting with her beloved;

dream book of Veles: if you dream in a dream, as a sleeping person is going to talk to a loved one, it means that he will receive good news in reality;

long's dream book:if you dream of a pleasant telephone conversation with your beloved, it means that the dreamer will soon receive help from the outside, if in a dream he was prevented from speaking - someone is trying to confuse him, if a man dreamed of a conversation with his mistress - a bad sign, in reality unexpected difficulties may arise if dreamed that the call went unanswered - troubles would pass by.

The problem of calling a girl comes up whenever you have taken a number from a pretty girl and now you are holding the phone in your hand, getting ready to talk on the phone and want to ask her out on a date. It's good if you have already talked to her with the help of (do not forget to watch the video from my speech at the Pickup Conference-2013, where I was just talking about it). If you didn't communicate, then be sure to do it. And only then proceed to communicate with the girl on the phone.

In this article, I want to take a look at the 5 most obvious mistakes we all made when calling a girl.

Basic error

The first mistake that lets the girl know that you are not sure of yourself is that you are clearly nervous. That's right - when talking on the phone with a girl, we are always very nervous. We do not have time to think, as for example, in correspondence via SMS or VKontakte, and we need to confidently say the phrases that the girl should be led to. The excitement doubles if you've never talked to this girl in person before, so calling the girls you met on VKontakte are considered the most difficult.

Nervousness arises from the understanding that how you communicate with a girl on the phone ultimately determines whether she wants to date you or not. By the way you talk, the girl understands how interesting you are, how smart, witty you are, or vice versa, what a loser you are and want sex.

I advise you to use three tricks to calm down:

Talk to another friend of yours that you don't appreciate so much before you call. This will allow you to relax.
Stay in a comfortable place for you - an apartment, a personal office, a smoking room, your car.
It is best to walk. When you walk, the emotional breakdown increases, and communication with a girl on the phone will come out more lively and interesting.

Other common mistakes

The second common mistake lies in your speech - it is your quiet voice.Imagine that you speak softly, and the girl on the other end of the line constantly asks you again, or, even worse, pretends that she heard everything. If you speak loudly, the girl will understand that you are a confident guy. This is exactly what girls like. If it seems to you that your voice is not loud enough, I recommend working on it. And it would be nice to sign up for courses in public speaking.

The third important point is the speed of your speech. Often times, when you want to impress, you can speak faster than usual. This will chew some of the words, and the girl will think you are a strange guy who seems to be worried. Notice that all successful and influential people - presidents, directors, bosses, celebrities - speak more slowly, with more pauses between sentences, than people of low rank. To correct this shortcoming in myself, before starting a conversation on the phone with a girl, I advise you to take a book with V. Mayakovsky's poems and record your readings on a dictaphone.

The next common mistake is to forget what you wanted to say.Scientists have found that this happens at a time when we focus too much on the current thought, losing the essence of the conversation. It is difficult, but it can be learned. If you have a plan for talking with a girl on the phone, and you can imagine what you want to achieve with this call, then there will be no problems. Just think ahead before you start talking. For example, you can prepare in advance an approximate plan for calling a girl - indicate in it such items as:

greeting
find out her mood
joke
tell what you are doing
invite there and then

Please note that at the time of the call you should know exactly the place and time when you want to meet a girl. It’s good if it’s a good date. Therefore, do not leave this moment for later, or, even worse, for the responsibility of the girl.

And the fifth the error is in the interrogative frame. It is very important to speak on the phone in the affirmative, without begging and interrogative forms! This is what most men sin when talking to a girl on the phone!

Read the following sentences aloud, as if you were saying them to a girl.

Shall we go for a walk tomorrow night and have a cup of aromatic coffee?

Note that at the end of the sentence, you changed your intonation to show your interlocutor that it was a question. Now let's ask this question in the affirmative:

Let's go for a walk tomorrow night and have a cup of aromatic coffee.

The intonation changed to dominant. This time it is an affirmative sentence. Since you are a man, you should always make affirmative statements. When you say this, you will look like a charismatic young man with leadership qualities.

During my live training sessions on seduction, I have developed one good exercise for training an affirmative frame. When communicating with others, not necessarily on the phone - convince them to do something, using the shift from interrogative to affirmative intonation. For example, you can convince her or him to try something new from the menu if the two of you are in a cafe.

Instead of a phrase:

Do you want to try raff coffee?

Say in the affirmative:

Try creamy raff coffee. Very tasty!

By default, neither you nor I have a cool voice, but if you learn to avoid these mistakes, then I guarantee the girls will be much more willing to communicate with you, and you will be less likely. Be sure to do these exercises until you are happy with the result. Ask a friend for help, motivate him to do the exercises. Let him advise you on what to improve, because there is always room for improvement.

In the video at the top of this page, I invite you to watch how I conduct a conversation on the phone with a girl I don't know. The phone number of this girl was given by one of the students. You can also take the phone numbers of free girls from your friends and call them using this scheme!

The simplest plan

Here's a plan to call a stranger:

Greeting
You ask if she knows you?
Tell us why you called (for example, found it in the phone book and do not remember it)
Together with her, you are looking for options where you could meet (of course, unsuccessfully, because you do not know each other. But you have the opportunity to promote yourself well, telling the right things about yourself).
You say that, for sure, she doesn’t give a number to just anyone, and you, too, will not take a number from a girl you don’t like. After that you close it for a meeting!
Agree where and when you can meet
Parting

The scheme of communicating with an unknown girl on the phone is fun, and most importantly, very productive. But there are a number of differences if you want to return.

From letters to Samprosvetbulletin: “Communication with a man on the phone is a nightmare for me. I meet men on a dating site, while we are texting, everything goes fine until the first phone call. I am an inquisitive person, I know a lot and I have something to talk about. And, as a rule, my conversations with men are really interesting. But often men after a conversation write to me that I am a good man, but it is important for them that the woman's voice is pleasant to them. Everyone tells me that I have a very pleasant voice in my life, can the phone distort or am I too worried? " - writes S.L.

“... I have a small marriage agency, and I would like to offer you a topic for an article. Communication with men always raises many questions. Here men choose women by questionnaires, and if the choice is mutual, they want to call right away. Sometimes men suddenly lost interest in a girl after the first telephone conversation. We held classes on telephone etiquette, even rehearsed what to talk about with a man. But maybe we didn't take into account something. What mistakes of women during a telephone conversation should you pay attention to? " - Elena writes.

Many women have no idea how the sound of a woman's voice can affect a man. I conduct various polls among men. The topic of one of the polls was talking with a woman on the phone. I asked what is the most unpleasant thing for men in a telephone conversation with a woman, which can spoil a good impression of her. Most men put the sound of the voice, its volume, tone in the first place. Women, on the other hand, discussing communication with men on the phone with me, focused on the content of the conversation.

When communicating with a man on the phone, women forget that not only the words are important, but also the tone of voice, its intonation, and make three common mistakes:

Mistake 1. Have you noticed that when you are nervous, you go to high notes and your voice sounds a little squeaky? This change in voice betrays your insecurity and nervousness. At this moment, the interlocutor will probably feel uncomfortable with you. It also happens when you are talking to a man on the phone and feel anxious. Perhaps you are carried away by the conversation and do not notice that you have already moved to high notes. But rest assured, the man has already noticed this. Try to control the tone of your voice, lower it a little, then the voice will sound more confident and attractive.

Mistake 2. Have you noticed that when you try to convince the interlocutor of something, you start to speak too quickly, swallowing words? You completely seize the initiative of the conversation, not giving the interlocutor a word to insert. Speaking quickly does not help create a warm, relaxing atmosphere between people, turning the dialogue into a monologue, and the man will feel "out of place" in conversation with you. Slow down your speech. Speaking slowly and carefully pronouncing your words will make you more attractive and give the impression of being confident and considerate.

Mistake 3. Have you noticed that the excitement makes you speak louder? A loud voice makes the conversation less confidential and creates distance between the interlocutors. The man will involuntarily move the telephone receiver away from his ear, thereby, as it were, moving away from you. When you speak more quietly, you create an atmosphere of intimacy and the man involuntarily presses his ear to the receiver more tightly, mentally following your voice.

When talking to a man on the phone, pay attention to these three common mistakes women make. Watch your intonation, create a trusting atmosphere and a feeling of closeness, attract and seduce with your voice.

Good luck and see you soon on the pages of the Samprosvetbulletin!

I would be very grateful if you could share a link to my blog! Use these buttons! Thank!

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Signs of a man in love, the behavior of a man in love

Is there a man in your environment who you like, but you cannot understand how he treats you? He himself is silent about his feelings (at least he has not talked to you on this topic yet), but you want to know how passionate you are: whether he is in love with you or is simply well disposed towards you. How to identify signs of a man's love? What do psychologists say about this? Learn about this from the article.

Signs of a man in love

Below are the most sure signs of a man's love, read and remember.

His look

One of the surest signs that a man is in love is his “special” look at you. He looks at you much more often, tries to catch your gaze with his eyes, and does not look away longer than usual. He really enjoys keeping eye contact with you. If you are not indifferent to him, support him, do not avert your eyes to the side. Even the most self-confident man experiences some shyness towards the object of love, doubts that you share his feelings. Your open and reassuring gaze will support him and give him confidence.

Facial expressions and gestures

His posture and gestures will tell you much more than his words. Especially if he is alone with you. The fact that he is extremely pleased with your company is indicated by the fact that he does not cross his arms and legs when talking. His knees are directed directly at you and the whole body is turned in your direction. His gestures are smoother and more cautious than when talking to other people. By the way, you yourself can position him even more towards you by taking a symmetrical pose. Only not directly in front of him, but a little from the side, at a slight angle to him. And he will definitely try to "imperceptibly", as he himself will think to touch you. Light, imperceptible touches to your hand, elbow, back are 100% a sign of increased attention to you from his side. Moreover, he will do it at the subconscious level, instinctively, trying to show his respect. Support him by touching him from time to time (the more often the better!). But precisely by touching, and not embracing! And the initiative in this matter must necessarily remain on his side.

He listens to you very carefully.

Is the man ready to listen to you whenever you contact him? Does he enjoy talking to you on any topic? Is he interested in your opinion on various issues? Can his conversation with you go on forever? Congratulations! He really fell in love with you! Make him feel good by becoming the same attentive companion for him.

Advice: if a man is not too confident in your reciprocal feelings towards him, he can either "swallow" his tongue, keeping his opinion to himself, or vice versa, he can be seized by "verbal diarrhea" and he will speak incessantly. To prevent this from happening, find a topic for conversation that is pleasant and interesting for the two of you. Then the conversation will flow harmoniously and without awkward pauses.

Sincere interest in your hobbies

What other signs of a man in love with you are there? He was never interested in yoga assanas until he learned that yoga is your hobby. Having learned about this, he begins to ask you in detail about all the subtleties and nuances of your hobbies, listens to your answers in the most attentive way and can even sign up with the section himself to attend classes together. Go to meet him - ask about his hobbies and keep him company, if possible, for example, fishing. It is not necessary to put worms on a hook, but asking him by the river about the peculiarities of biting crucian carp in the summer will be very useful and will bring you closer together much better than a simple date in a cafe!

The man wants to hear and see you as often as possible.

A sure sign that a man is in love with you is his desire to meet with you as often as possible, hear your voice on the phone, and communicate by SMS. Moreover, he does not call for any reason, but just like that. Find out about the mood, about plans for the evening or weekend, but just talk. Did you meet today, agreed when parting about a new date in a couple of days, and in the evening he already calls you? Do not be surprised - he is very pleased to hear your voice again, he is ready to listen to it 24 hours a day! He can repeat in conversation what he has already said to you a little earlier, and this is normal - a person in love is often forgotten in communication with his beloved. Reward him for the compliments he will shower you with. Go to a meeting and ask for an "extraordinary" date with him, asking for something (well, for example, ask him to help you figure out how to master some newly purchased household appliance, or ask to show you the most beautiful ones on his look of a place in your city)

He meets your friends or even your parents

A man in love with you will probably ask you to introduce him to your friends. And if he doesn't ask, do it yourself and watch him. If he looks with interest at your pretty girlfriends or even flirts with them, alas, he is not in love with you. But if he does not leave you a single step, looks exclusively at you, then this is a sign of love. And if he is really in love, the moment will come when he will already introduce you to his friends.

Advice: in no case criticize anyone from his environment, even if he does it himself. No ridicule or sidelong glances towards his friends. On the contrary, try to be on an equal footing with everyone, smile openly, do not complex and you will surely remain in their memory as one of the nicest young ladies with whom your man introduced them. And do not insist on a new meeting with his friends yourself, wait for him to offer it. By doing this, you will show that you respect his freedom, that you are only interested in him, and not his environment.

Let's sum up

We have analyzed the most characteristic signs of a man in love. There are, of course, exceptions, some nuances, but now you know the main ones.

Let's go over them briefly and add the missing ones.

A man in love:

Looks into your eyes, often unnoticeably touches you - tries to look more slender (when you pulls in his stomach, straightens his back, straightens his shoulders) - when talking to you, he tries to move closer, the toes of his shoes are directed at you - he looks after you, gives compliments - attaches great importance to his appearance (skin care, hair, clothes and shoes) - to get to know your friends and parents, introduces to his own - in a conversation with you he uses not "I", "you", but "WE" - he is generous for gifts and invitations - calls with or without reason - strive to spend as much time with you as possible - during a conversation with you, he often straightens his hair, tilts his head towards you - touches your things on the table while talking with you

Have you noticed some of these signs (or maybe even all ?!) in a man? Congratulations! He's really in love with you! Develop relationships, build a joint future together! By the way, about the future. See how compatible you are with him on the subject of serious family relationships. You can find out what astrologers have to say about this here.

And in conclusion, as always, a piece of humor:

If a friend says that your current man is no better than the previous one, then you should change both the man and the girlfriend ..

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A man in love: what are the signs. Psychology

By what signs can you understand that there is a man in love in front of you? After all, the psychology of the stronger sex for the female half of humanity is a dark forest.

Therefore, every woman once asks the above question.

So why are men so secretive that women are forced to wonder whether they love or not?

We all come from childhood

The first sign of a man's love is his compliments to you.

Today the theory is popular that all problems come from childhood. And it looks like there is some truth in this.

One has only to look at how mothers raise their sons. They are taught from childhood that they need to solve their problems on their own, because if you complain, you will be considered a whiner, if you are afraid, you will be known as a coward.

So our boys get used to not crying, even when it hurts, not to be afraid, even when scared, and to solve their problems in silence. From childhood, they get used to hiding their emotions in themselves, because society inspires them that not emotional and courageous are synonyms.

But the flip side of such upbringing is the fact that the stronger sex also keeps pleasant emotions with itself, simply because they are not used to, or do not know how to openly express their feelings.

It turns out that, having fallen in love, a young man faces the most difficult choice - to openly declare his love to the whole world, which means to declare his own vulnerability, or to love in silence, which is called avaricious male love.

Women's behavior in such a situation is radically different. Girls are brought up quite differently. They are constantly told that they are extremely emotional and sensitive beings. As a result, the weak half of humanity is accustomed to openly expressing their feelings, and expects the same from men. And in response - silence.

So what can be done?

Don't guess on daisies!

A man in love. Signs

A man in love tries to constantly look at his object of passion

Psychology, as a science, studies the causes of certain actions. And this means that, knowing about the actions of an individual, one can judge the motives that drive him. Therefore, all that is required is to closely observe the object of female passion.

So, what are the signs that distinguish a man in love from an unloved man? Psychology suggests analyzing in the following areas:

As a man in love says

It usually starts with compliments. Today, only the lazy does not know that a woman loves with her ears. And many take advantage of this, misleading gullible young ladies.

But a man in love does not say compliments for any benefit. It's all about his perception. Love is known to be blind. The man idealizes the woman he likes, and the eulogies flow naturally.

But verbal communication between the sexes is not limited to praise. Men in love tend to seek any communication with the lady they like. These are phone calls and SMS. A man in love strives to study his beloved. Finds out her thoughts, desires, asks her for advice. He enjoys the very process of the conversation, even if the semantic load in the dialogue is minimal.

A separate point is the talk about a joint future. The fact that a man reflects on this topic, and moreover, is not afraid to say it publicly, speaks volumes. Even more revealing is the use of the pronoun "we".

This suggests that the man has ceased to perceive himself separately from his beloved.

How a man in love behaves. Signs of falling in love

A man in love strives to constantly touch his woman

The psychology of men is such that action for them is a synonym for existence. They are not accustomed to inaction. And if a man only speaks, but does nothing, it is hardly about love. Rather, on the contrary, with the help of sweet speeches, he may be trying to manipulate a woman.

So what actions of the stronger sex can be interpreted in your favor?

Psychologists call one of the main signs of a man in love with his look.

It has long been known that we receive up to 80% of information through sight. And when a man gets the opportunity to look at a girl he likes, he goes into this whole process. This is so natural for his subconscious that he does not even notice that he does not take his eyes off her. But this is usually quite noticeable to others. This becomes especially noticeable in a large company - when there are a lot of people around, but the man continues to consider only the one that he likes.

It is important that his gaze does not just wander over the female figure, because this says a lot, but not about love. It is important that it is eye to eye.

A man in love is jealous. And even if not always openly, you will certainly notice how his face and behavior will change if someone encroaches on the object of his passion.

His reaction to such a situation will be indicative. It is important to remember that the proverb "Hits - that means he loves" has nothing to do with love or jealousy. A man in love, albeit jealous, can control his actions in relation to his beloved woman, no matter what they say.

Another important indicator of falling in love is touch. Everything is simple here - when we are hugged, we feel protected, and the man subconsciously seeks to protect his beloved.

Later, the desire to protect from everyone and everything develops into care. A man who is in love with you will not remain indifferent in a crisis situation, but, on the contrary, will do everything to make your life easier.

In addition, caring can manifest itself in a desire to please, to anticipate all your desires.

A man in love will introduce you to his parents

An important criterion is his desire to introduce you to his parents. If he is ready to let you into his family, then you mean something to him.

As a rule, he strives to ensure that his chosen one is liked by his mother. This is a pretty telling fact. So, if a man prepares you to meet your mother like a war, this does not mean that his mother is a warrior. It's just very important for him that you find a common language.

A man in love is ready to let you into his bachelor den, and will even clean up there before your arrival. And if a man prepares food for you, you can be sure - he is in love with you.
Also, one of the indicators of love will be the frequency of meetings.

If suddenly a man is "accidentally" on your way, do not be surprised.

Non-verbal signs of falling in love

One of the signs that a man is in love is jealousy.

Often a man in love will show signs non-verbally. Psychology has analyzed these manifestations of sympathy. So what gestures can you tell that a man likes you?

If in your presence a man constantly touches his face, corrects something, tries to stand up straight, in general, pretens himself as best he can - you know - all this is just to please. So he sends a message that your opinion about him and his appearance is important to him.
If, when talking to you, a man tilts his head in your direction, or touches your things, so he unconsciously tries to reduce the distance between you, even if he just touches the keys forgotten on the table.

If you are mentally ready to put a tick next to each of the listed items, it means that someone is not at all indifferent to you. But how to understand that this is not just sympathy, but a real feeling? The most important criterion will be his desire to change and his willingness to sacrifice his own interests for the sake of you two.

Find out right now the real reasons why a husband does not want intimacy with his wife.

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Recognize love by voice?

If your partner's voice as he speaks to someone on the phone sounds unusual, it's worth listening. You may be hearing the sounds of love now. Women can also give themselves away like that. Why do we speak in a “different voice” with those we are in love with?

PHOTO Getty Images

When we talk to our beloved, we change our tone of voice, and this is what both men and women do. Psychologists from Albright College, Pennsylvania, found this out.1 They invited 24 young lovers, both men and women, to participate in their study. To participate in the experiment, it was necessary that the love relationship was at an early stage. In the laboratory, psychologists asked each of the participants to call first their beloved (or sweetheart), and then a friend (of the same gender as the caller), in order to briefly ask how things are and what the interlocutor is currently doing. The difference in the content of the interviews was minimal, which was later confirmed by 80 independent “judges”. Before offering dialogs for listening, they cut out the meaningless ending of the conversation. At the same time, the "judges" heard only the voice of the participants in the experiment, but not their interlocutors.

In most cases, the judges understood what they were talking about. But, most importantly, in the first seconds they determined with whom the experiment participant was talking, not using the meaning of the phrases spoken for this, but focusing only on the change in tone. Two seconds and the phrase How are you? turned out to be enough to guess with a probability exceeding random who the participant was talking to. The voice during the conversation with the beloved was perceived by the judges as especially pleasant.

The difficulty is that lovers want to look and sound as sexy as possible, but perceive different tone of voice as sexy. Someone is more attracted by low, languid intonations, while others are more attracted by high and sonorous ones.

The researchers and their colleagues then studied a sonogram of the conversations. So they found that lovers adjust to each other: in women, the tone of voice becomes deeper, and in men it is higher. Thus, sympathy is expressed on the sonogram as a desire to be as similar as possible. The lovers seem to be trying to tell each other and the whole world: "we are together, everyone should know that we are in love."

Voice changes, although completely different, are not unique to couples at the beginning of a relationship. Having already spent quite a lot of time together, the partners become inclined to "lisp" (talking in a childish manner, using high notes). Scientists note that this style of communication is an indicator of closeness and strong affection.

However, in the voice of the lovers, independent judges also heard stress, anxiety and uncertainty. The researchers attribute this to previous painful relationship experiences and the belief that love hurts. Because of this, the fear of rejection haunts us from the very beginning of the relationship.

How will our telephone conversations sound after long years of married life? And do we want to know this?

1 S. Farley, S. Hughes, J. LaFayette “People will know we are in love: Evidence of differences between vocal samples directed toward lovers and friends”, Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 2013, vol. 37, no. 3.

How to properly talk on the phone with a woman

Most men do not like talking on the phone: some do not know how to communicate without visual contact with the interlocutor, others cannot keep up the conversation, and still others are afraid to say something superfluous. And they all tell us women that talking on the phone is a waste of time. Why do you need to be able to communicate with women on the phone? What topics can you talk about, and which ones are better not to touch, and how to win her heart with a call?

My phone rang! Who is speaking? Elephant!

Psychologists say that 10 seconds of talking on the phone is enough for a person to form an image of the interlocutor. Trust or, conversely, mistrust develops instantly. From intonation, pauses, voice, and, of course, words, what impression will be formed about you will depend. So, for example, people with a low voice, clear diction, that is, excellent oratorical skills, are perceived as responsible, serious persons. But the owners of high voices, hastily gurgling, are usually associated with uncollected and incomprehensible people.

The telephone conversation is halfway between art and life. This is not a conversation with a person, but with the image that develops in you when you listen to him. André Maurois
The very first Conversation

The first conversation on the phone should be a short conversation in which you express your thoughts clearly and intelligibly. Feel confident, because the first call is exciting for a girl too. The communication should end at the moment when you understand that you have said all the smartest, that is, the question on which you called has already been asked, and the answer has been received.

Further, the woman has a desire to talk a little on vague topics. This is what needs to be prevented. Why? Firstly, so she will wait for the meeting even more. Secondly, even without talking about the weather, she will more than once in the evening talk with her friends in detail every word of yours. Thirdly, it doesn't matter at all that you are ready to talk to her all day on the phone all day, because you have a day off. The main thing is to give the impression of a person who lives a full life, busy men are more interested in women than those who have too much free time. "That's agreed! It was nice to talk to. And now I have things to do! See you!" And while you said this short and simple phrase, you have already been appreciated.

The most not the last conversation

Your call should always have a specific purpose. Saying that you dialed a number just to hear her voice would make the conversation empty and meaningless. It will end quickly, because the girl is likely to get confused. So if you really want to say about the charm of her voice, say it after the invitation to the evening meeting.

It's a question of time

After the first date, you need to call in a couple of days. The main thing here is not to rush to remind of yourself the next day, but you also can't overexpose until four. In a woman, you need to maintain a state of interest. The second or third day after the meeting is ideal for a call. When you get through, do not start listing the places where you were or what kind of socks you were wearing that day. Just say thank you for a great evening without mentioning the possibility of a new meeting. Let the lady be in anticipation of the next call, which can be made either the next day, or after one.

The call time must be appropriate. If you decide to make an appointment for a weekend, it is better to take care of this in advance, for example, on Wednesday or Thursday. She will have the opportunity to think over her outfit and refuse to meet other people. And, after all, you don't want her to think that you invited her last when all the other women have already turned down. Also, if you decide to call during working hours, it is better to choose lunch hours so that she does not have an awkward conversation in front of colleagues. And in the evening, call until 8-9 o'clock. At least at the beginning of our acquaintance.

What to talk about, and what - silence!

Sometimes there are girls who, to continue communication, say: "Well, tell me something!" Remember, you are not a clown, you must not entertain anyone. If both of you have nothing to say to each other at the moment, don't drag out and end the conversation. But if you have something to tell, and your tongue does not allow you to say a dry "goodbye" to her, your hand does not allow you to firmly press the red button "end the call", relax and chat with her. Eliminate complaints about work, stories about failure at a soccer game, your fears, losing a lot of money, or tragedy in your personal life. It's all for pub friends or personal analyst. Talk to a woman about herself, your beloved, nothing is so exciting and interesting for the interlocutor. Ask her how she spent the day, whether she was abroad, where she wants to relax in the summer, and how great it is that spring has come. Women often like to brag to their girlfriends about how many hours she chatted with the interlocutor, and that if it had not been for the dead telephone receiver, she would have been chirping sweetly for a couple more hours. For some reason, many men are afraid of the final dialogue "No, you are the first / the first to hang up." Let her do it, not every girl likes to hear short beeps on the phone. Come up with a good reason, for example, your cat will die of hunger if you do not feed her, or your phone battery runs out, you need to finish work. You need to end the conversation on a positive note, such as a compliment.
Conversation with ... answering machine

Why men are afraid to leave messages on their answering machine is not clear. You just have to do it right! Introduce yourself at the beginning of the conversation and say which number you need to call back, if she accidentally lost it. Brevity is the sister of talent, no intimate details, because her relatives can hear it if she does not live alone. The woman will not disregard your audio recording. You can't even imagine how much we love such messages! Especially when after the phrase “leave your message after the beep”, you say “what a pity that the owner of such a wonderful voice is not at home, but ...” Men, leave messages more often, I urge!

Good conversation is the most important thing for a successful relationship. Even in our time of messaging and media, 87% of teens still talk to their significant other on the phone. Some effort at having a good conversation on the phone can show the girl that you really care about her. Whether you're calling a girl you're in a serious relationship with or someone you just met, use our tips to keep her crazy about you.

Steps

Part 1

Choosing the time and place to call

Find out her schedule. Set aside a time to chat through text messages, or call when you think your girlfriend is free. Don't embarrass her or force her to choose between you and friends or family. Call after the theater club, soccer practice, her coffee break, or family dinner.

Text her a few hours before you want to talk to her: Do you have time to chat today? or Can I call you at 7? Easily adapt and find a mutually convenient time.
Don't take it personally if she doesn't have time to chat with you. She just might be busy. Suggest an alternative time: How about tomorrow night? or Good luck with your session! Shall we talk this weekend?

Call from a quiet, secluded location. Girls will be more open and honest with you if they know that no one will hear your conversation. Do not call when you are having fun with other people, and do not turn on the speakerphone without permission.

Give her your full attention. She gives you her time, and you should do the same. Most young people feel that a lot of things are distracting from the conversation. Let her know that talking to her is the most important thing in the world. Don't write messages, chat online, watch TV, or talk to other people when you're chatting with your girlfriend.

Part 2
Making small talk
1. Say hello to her happily. Emotions tend to pass on to others. If you are friendly and want to communicate, she will most likely love you back. When she picks up the phone, say hello to her in a way that starts a conversation and shows that you are ready to listen to her. Choose phrases based on how close you are:
  - Hello! How is my girl doing?
  - Hello Beautiful! How was your day?
  - I have been looking forward to all day to hear your voice! What did you do?
2. - If you've been dating for a while, you can say: Just calling to say that I love you!
  - If you're just starting to build a relationship, leave her a more relaxed message: I just wanted to know how you are doing! I miss you!
  - Tell her the best time to call you back so she doesn't catch you off guard: I'll be home at 7 after soccer practice. Maybe we can talk then?
3. A casual conversation is a good way to warm up. Humans are social animals, and they are programmed to seek conversation with others. Relaxing conversation creates a sense of connectedness as people can learn a lot about each other. Even a superficial conversation can mean a lot in a new relationship. Choose light themes in which she will feel relaxed:
  - Tell us about your day.
  - Ask her about her favorite sports team.
  - Talk about school events.
  - Discuss a TV show or movie you've both seen.
Part 3
Keeping the conversation going
1. Let the conversation flow naturally. If there is a spark between you, the casual conversation will develop into a deeper conversation. Let the conversation move from cute banters to more personal topics. Let each other open up and get to know each other better:
  - I am learning to play the guitar too! Why did you choose the guitar out of all the instruments in the world?
  - Are you getting your license in three months? Where would you go if you had a car?
  - Holidays in two weeks! Where are you going to rest?
2. Be emotionally open. She will be as honest and open as you are. Most people do not express their true feelings because they are afraid of rejection, not because they are not interested. If you tell her how much she means to you, she will not be afraid to do the same.
  - When I see you, my world lights up!
  - You are the most beautiful girl in town!
  - I think you understand me better than anyone else.
3. Ask open-ended questions. Structural questions are a great option as your girlfriend can tell you a lot, give you backstory and express feelings. You should not stop the conversation with questions to which she will answer in monosyllables.
  
  Be a good listener. Conversation is a two-way process, so listening is just as important as speaking. Don't interrupt your girlfriend or talk to her. Pay attention to what she says and wait for her to finish to ask questions. Encourage her to share more with you.
  - What happened next?
  - How did you feel after that?
  - Why do you like milkshakes in this particular place?
4. Avoid topics that block the conversation. You should be honest with your girlfriend, but you don't want to offend or embarrass her. Rate her enthusiasm throughout the conversation. If the girl likes the topic, develop it further. If she dies down and becomes insecure, she says I dont know, maybe or Probably, turn the conversation into a more interesting channel.
  - Figure out topics to avoid as you get closer to your girlfriend. You should make your conversations positive. By bringing up bad memories (her parents' divorce, ex-boyfriend, her late grandmother), you don't come close to intimacy with her. Let her know that she can tell you everything, but do not create unpleasant emotions on purpose.
  - Too much pressure on a girl can scare her away. Try not to sound too obsessive or needy. Do not comment on her body in a way that goes too far, she will not appreciate it.
5. Make plans for the future. Making plans together, whether for the evening or for life, promotes intimacy as a couple. Discuss where you would live and where you would like to travel if you could travel, what kind of dog you would get, or what your dream home looks like. Have fun and use your imagination. Have a light conversation, flirt a little: there is no need to develop a clear guide to your life. Tell your girlfriend that you are looking forward to the moment when you can realize your life adventures with her.
Part 4
We say goodbye
1. Tell the girl that you enjoyed chatting. Let her know that she is special and you appreciate the time you interact with her. She will want to call you if she knows you are happy to hear from her.
  - I am looking forward to the next conversation with you! Call me anytime.
  - I will think all night about your sweet voice.
  - Don't be lost!
  - I'll write to you tomorrow morning!
2. Make her smile at goodbye. Say something nice before hanging up. Tell a joke, give her a nickname she likes, or compliment her.
  - Bye, beauty!
  - Good night, lovely!
  - Goodbye kiss goodnight!
- Don't go out of your way to impress her. Don't sound arrogant or insecure.
- Don't talk about other girls to make her jealous. She will understand everything.
- Speak confidently, calmly, and flirt a little.
- Make sure you have enough minutes on your phone before calling. You don't want the connection to be cut off at the most important point in your conversation, or to make her think you hung up.
- Make sure your conversation doesn't get boring. This is not a call to your grandmother.
- Don't get overwhelmed or have arguments over the phone. She won't like the drama.
- Respect her family and culture.