Effective communication: principles, rules, skills, techniques. Conditions for effective communication

What effective communication? In short, effective communication is the ability to actively listen (that is, understand what the other person wants to say) and speak assertively (that is, speak confidently, convincingly, in a friendly and direct manner). Effective communication skills every person needs: People who know how to communicate are successful both in their careers and in their personal lives. Find out, how to learn to communicate with people

Communication has two sides: relationships with oneself and relationships with other people.

The most important relationship in a person's life is the relationship with oneself. How you feel about yourself determines how you communicate with others. Treat yourself with respect and love, and you will be perceived as a positive person.

The main reason for the problems between people is the inability to communicate, the inability to reach mutual understanding. Neither school nor institute teach us how to communicate effectively. Most people behave in communication either aggressively or passively unconvincing, or assertive (convincing).

Effective communication: the main causes of problems between people

Inability to actively listen to the interlocutor.
Quickly conclusions. We often think that we already know what the interlocutor is going to say. We can interrupt the interlocutor, finish his sentence for him, stop listening carefully. All this negatively affects the effectiveness of interaction with people.
Non-verbal signs. Research shows that words make up only 7% of communication, the rest is non-verbal communication (facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, etc.) So if your non-verbal signals are at odds with your words, people will pay attention to exactly how you are expressing yourself non-verbally.
Bias. If you are negatively disposed in advance to the conversation or to the interlocutor, then most likely you will not be able to reach mutual understanding. It's always best to tune in to a successful engagement.
Incorrect use of questions. Some people think that by asking a lot of questions they communicate effectively. It is not always so. You have to ask the right questions at the right time. It is better to ask questions that require a detailed answer (what, when, where, who, why, how), rather than short yes or no answers.

Important rules for reaching mutual understanding

Structure your thoughts, ideas in your head before sharing them with others. If you express your thoughts in a chaotic manner, it will be difficult for the interlocutors to keep track of what you are trying to convey to them.
Effective communication is about collaboration, not competition. Communication is like a dance, where partners coordinate their steps to create a beautiful dance. Communication is a two-way process involving the exchange of ideas. If you are trying to make communication one-way, then it will not lead to anything good.
assumes that all parties involved express their attitude to what is being expressed (they are not silent), constructively criticizing, if necessary, and accepting such criticism without offense.

Introduction

"The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this ability than for anything else in the world."

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a “social being”. This means that he lives among people and carry out his life activity (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, mediated or

rendered.

In communication as a process of consecutive mutually oriented in time and space actions, reactions, behavioral acts, information is exchanged and interpreted, mutual perception, mutual understanding, mutual appreciation, empathy, the formation of likes or dislikes, the nature of relationships, beliefs, views, psychological impact, resolution of contradictions, implementation joint activities. Thus, each of us in his life, interacting with other people, acquires practical skills and abilities in the field of communication.

Considering the process of human cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinstein, wrote: “In everyday life, communicating with people, we are guided in their behavior, since we seem to“ read ”it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the resulting text in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This "reading" occurs fluently, because in the process of communicating with those around us, certain studies are generated, more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior. "

Effective communication is the only thing that can truly be important for all people in society. Not thinking about effective communication while communicating is like crossing the road in a busy place without looking around.

Effective communication:

· Promotes mutual understanding;

· Directs the flow of information in the right direction;

· Helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

· Stimulates the interlocutors to take actions to achieve the set goals;

· Communicates information, encouraging employees to think in new ways and act more effectively.

This paper describes the most significant techniques and techniques for effective communication.

Effective communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, development of personality, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where transmission, assimilation and exchange of information are necessary, are inconceivable.

Communication plays an important role in a person's mastery of cultural and human values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc. is carried out.

Increasing the importance of communication in the modern world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which presupposes the need for a deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its laws and features that are manifested in the activities of people.

The theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline is based on the following definition of this discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such organization of linguistic means, which in a certain communication situation, subject to modern linguistic norms and communication ethics, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communication tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the "final product", the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of the culture of speech in its practical application. By the effectiveness of communication, we mean the optimal way to achieve the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the main functions of the language.

Technologies of effective communication are such methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy - the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) of communication partners.

Communication itself as a complex socio-psychological process is characterized by three main substantive aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals of the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in a conflict is occupied by the target attitudes of the conflicting parties. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hindered by the lack of proper trust between them, their "closeness" in relation to each other, due to the conscious or unconscious self-defense in the conflict. Therefore, in order to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process, to form a goal-oriented attitude towards cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

· Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

· Check if you have correctly understood both the general content of the information received and its details.

· Tell the other party, in a paraphrased form, the meaning of the information received.

· In the process of receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not summarize, do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving the information and clarifying it.

· Ensure that you are heard and understood. Observe the order in which the information is communicated. If you are not convinced of the accuracy of the information received by the partner, do not proceed to new messages.

· Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

· Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques conducive to constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, tk. many of them operate on the subconscious level.

Several techniques for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

· 20 sec. you are being appreciated.

· 20 sec. how and what you started to say.

· 20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

· Show a sincere interest in the interlocutor.

Despite our age, education and life experience, each of us can learn the skill of effective communication. you just need a little self-confidence and a little baggage of certain knowledge. In this case, you can express your opinion in any situation. Here's how to do it.

Steps

Creating a supportive atmosphere for communication

Choose the right time. As one famous phrase states, there is a place and time for everything, and communication is no exception.

Don't leave discussing financial issues or planning your week for the evening. Few people enjoy discussing such important issues at the height of their fatigue. Leave these discussions for the morning or afternoon when most of us are awake and in range. In this case, you will receive a clear answer to your question.

Sincere conversations. Choose the right place for companionship. If you have to communicate something that is not easy to internalize (news of a relative's death or divorce), do not do it in public. Respect the opinion of your interlocutor and communicate with him in a private area. This will help you provide space for soulful dialogue and make sure the two-way communication is going well.

If you are performing in front of an audience, check the acoustics ahead of time and practice your voice. Use a microphone if necessary.

Do not be distracted by foreign objects. Turn off all electronic devices. If the phone rings, laugh it off, and then immediately turn off the phone and stop talking. Don't let extraneous sounds distract your attention. Distraction immediately negates the active communication process.

Organization of communication

Speech as the basis of communication

Communication with body language
1. Get to know people. Of course, you may not know all the listeners in the audience by name, but if they nod their heads when they meet, do the same in return. Such a nod means that people are on the same wavelength with you. Therefore, honor them with a greeting.
  
  You can express thoughts clearly using non-verbal language. Use facial expressions deliberately. Try to show attachment and empathy by using gentle, calm expressions. There is no need to reflect negative emotions on your face, frown or raise your eyebrows in bewilderment. Often the concept of positive and negative differs in different cultures and depends directly on the situation.
  - Be prepared for some gestures to inadvertently provoke cultural conflicts. For example, a clenched fist, stooped posture, or silence. If you do not know all the subtleties of a particular culture, learn about them before talking to its representatives.
2. Look the other person in the eye. Visual contact is the key to mutual understanding, confidence in your truthfulness and the manifestation of interest in the interlocutor. As you talk, make eye contact with the other person and maintain eye contact for a reasonable amount of time (don't overdo it, 2-4 seconds is enough).
  - Try to reach out to everyone in your audience. If you're on a board of directors, look everyone in the eye. Neglecting eye contact can be considered a personal insult and you could lose your job, deal, respect, etc. - whatever you are trying to achieve through conversation.
  - If you are speaking to an audience, pause and make eye contact with each listener for two seconds. Then turn your gaze to the other. In this case, each listener will feel their value to you.
  - Remember, eye contact is culturally imperative. In some cultures, it is not acceptable. Please inquire about this in advance.
3. Use breathing opportunities and pauses to your advantage. In fact, pauses are of great importance. Simon Reynolds is convinced that the use of pauses makes the audience more attentive to the speaker's words. Pauses help to emphasize the main thing and give time to process information. The information you provide will be more persuasive and it will be easier for your listeners to stay engaged.
  - To be sure, take a few deep breaths before starting your performance.
  - Breathe deeply and regularly as you perform. This will help your voice be calm and confident at the same time. You will also feel more relaxed.
  - Use pauses to check if you are following your presentation plan.
4. What does this gesture mean? Use your hand gestures carefully. Try to keep track of what gestures you use when speaking. Hand gestures usually help to emphasize the main points (open gestures). But some gestures can distract or even hurt some listeners. Sometimes, in the case of closed gestures, a conflict is possible and the end of the discussion. When you provide certain information, you should watch the movements of the listeners. They often help define their relationship to you.
  
  Pay attention to the non-verbal language of your listeners. Pay attention to the wandering gaze, the twirling of the button, and the constant sighing. Such small gestures greatly reduce the effectiveness of your presentation.

Introduction

"The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this ability than for anything else in the world."

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a “social being”. This means that he lives among people and to carry out his life activity (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, mediated or imaginary.

Effective communication:

· Promotes mutual understanding;

· Directs the flow of information in the right direction;

· Helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

· Stimulates the interlocutors to take actions to achieve the set goals;

· Communicates information, encouraging employees to think in new ways and act more effectively.

This paper describes the most significant techniques and techniques for effective communication.

Effective communication

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

· Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

· Check if you have correctly understood both the general content of the information received and its details.

· Tell the other party, in a paraphrased form, the meaning of the information received.

· Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

· Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques conducive to constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, tk. many of them operate on the subconscious level.

Several techniques for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

· 20 sec. you are being appreciated.

· 20 sec. how and what you started to say.

· 20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

· Show a sincere interest in the interlocutor.

· Smile.

· Remember the name of the person and do not forget to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

· Be able to listen.

· Conduct a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

· Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

· Be observant;

· Make a compliment;

· Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

The rules for effective communication according to Black:

· Always insist on the truth.

· Building messages is simple and straightforward.

· Do not embellish, do not add value.

· Remember that 1/2 of the audience is women.

· Make communication fun, avoid boredom and routine.

· Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

· Take the time to find out the general opinion.

· Remember the need for continuous communication and finding a common opinion.

· Try to be convincing at every stage of communication.

As a result, you get:

· Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

· You will win the interlocutor.

· You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's take a closer look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of their application.

First impression (first 20 sec.)

The first impression about a person is 38% dependent on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (from sign language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that communication is built on its basis from the very beginning. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the minefield for the first 20 seconds, you must use the Rule of Three Pluses.

Experts have noticed that in order to win over the interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological "pluses", in other words, make three pleasant "gifts" to his Child (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his significance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest one to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Compliments are of three types:

1. An indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a "madman" on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, having entered the office of a woman boss, in between times to notice with what taste the furnishings have been chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with you.

2. Compliment "minus-plus". We give the interlocutor at first a small "minus". For example, "Perhaps I cannot say that you are a good worker ... You are an irreplaceable specialist for us!" After the "minus", the person is lost and is ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering is said for him. The psychological state resembles the sensations of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first - horror from the thought of death, and then - indescribable joy: "Alive!" Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like anything powerful, it is risky. If the minus turns out to be stronger than the plus, the consequences can be dire for us.

In this article, we will analyze the basic methods of effective communication. What is the psychology of communicating with people?

It is necessary to master the methods of effective communication, both in everyday life and in doing business. A person needs to be able to communicate correctly, to be able to listen, offer, persuade and express their thoughts. Possession of effective communication methods enables a person to find the necessary connections, motivate to action, sometimes even manipulate and win over to his side.

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Effective communication is based on respect for the interlocutor, the ability to listen and try to understand his words, feelings and emotions. This will help determine what the person needs and what they are striving for.

Effective communication methods are verbal and non-verbal. Verbal methods of influencing a person include words, the meaning of speech. But facial expressions, gestures, tone, intonation, volume and timbre of the voice are non-verbal methods of communication.

Sociability- the necessary quality of people to establish business and everyday connections, relationships. It is also a method of influencing people, but for it to work, you first need to establish contact with the listener. Contact must be established both physically and psychologically in order to build trust in oneself.

Methods used for effective communication

It is necessary to create a calm atmosphere, stop being nervous, since your state is instantly transmitted to the interlocutor or audience in front of which you need to speak. You also need to create conditions in which nothing would distract you from the conversation or attract the attention of the audience.
To begin with, convey your situation to the interlocutor and give the person an opportunity to express their opinion about his attitude towards her. Based on this information, now you can express your opinion to the interlocutor or opponent. Having learned in advance a person's attitude to a particular topic, it is much easier to influence a person.
Another effective communication method is inclusion in the situation. Tell the person a story from your life with a similar ending.
It is very important to learn not to judge a person, not to hang a label on him. Try to understand what he is saying without distorting and interpreting the information in your own way. To do this, do not hesitate to ask questions: “Did I understand you correctly? What did you mean by that? etc"
If you need to convince a person, tell him a few life stories with the ending you need. Refer to reputable sources of information in your speech.
Help the person draw the correct conclusions and explain the benefits of solving a specific problem in a new way. Be direct about your intentions and voice your proposal.
After the end of the negotiations or speech, say that it was pleasant for you to communicate, and you intend to continue cooperation. Regardless of the outcome of the conversation, you are ready to provide assistance or service at any time.

Impact of non-verbal communication on effective communication

The subconscious of a person perceives non-verbal signs as more sincere. More than half of the information a person perceives from non-verbal sources. Therefore, it is important to learn to master non-verbal methods of effective communication.

Repetition of the other person's gestures helps to establish contact more quickly and build trust.
Keep a distance of at least half a meter so as not to violate a person's personal space. If you see each other not for the first time and the contact has already been established. Then you can touch the person or pat on the shoulder.
Do not touch your nose or lips while talking. People perceive these gestures as signs of a lie.
Postures and gestures during conversation should be open. This demonstrates your kindness and sincerity.
Try not to speak quickly or slowly, not to speak too loudly and to pronounce the words clearly.
Do not use the particle "not", it sets the interlocutor against you. Say better: "I agree with you, but ..." than "I disagree or you are wrong."
When listening to the other person, lean forward a little and nod occasionally. This is a sign that you agree with the interlocutor and are ready to cooperate.

Effective communication from a psychological point of view

A person learns to communicate from early childhood. Communication helps a person survive. There are people who know how to establish contacts from childhood. But knowledge of the essence of the psychology of communication helps each person to better understand himself and those around him, to get joy from communication, from receiving new information and the benefits of friendly and business communication.

You need to be able to communicate correctly with any people, even with arrogant and aggressive minded. Let's look at the main aspects in psychology that help make communication effective.

A person must be self-sufficient, understand his own value and the value of his personal opinion. In turn, also understand the value of the interlocutor's opinion. Respect his outlook on life.
When the interests and desires of the interlocutors coincide, the communication goes smoothly. But how to behave when a conflict is brewing?
When communicating, a person should feel comfortable and relaxed.
Don't be afraid to express your feelings and emotions. Shyness, stiffness and insecurity make communication boring and uninteresting.
In communication, it is important to show care and respect for both yourself and the interlocutor
The interest in the conversation and your curiosity allows the interlocutor to tell more about himself. You should always try to find positive qualities in people, then interest in a person will manifest itself.
Openness and sincerity in communicating with loved ones are simply necessary. Otherwise, any conversation loses its meaning.
You need to learn to accept yourself and the other person as they are. In this case, you can not be afraid to remain yourself and not adapt to the opinion of another person. Both you and he are entitled to your point of view. If you are too emotional, then do not support conversations about politics, religion or other ideological topics.
Work with emotions... The practice of meditation will help you with this. It is necessary that you can maintain inner peace and privacy.
Keep your distance depending on how familiar you are with the person.... Do not violate either your own or someone else's personal space.
Communication is not only pleasant friendly conversations, but also the opportunity to do business, resolve issues... Therefore, you must take into account the character traits and profession of the interlocutor. The teacher will always teach, the person in power will command and control, the doctor will look for diseases.

Dale Carnegie is known throughout the world as the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People. The methods of effective communication recommended by the psychologist are very popular, as they are relevant and useful for everyone. Let's take a look at the top ten methods of effective communication:

Be a good listener. Before expressing or imposing your opinion, it is better to hear the opinion of the interlocutor on a certain topic. This will help not only to endear a person to himself, but also to anticipate his reaction to a particular topic in advance.
Show a sincere interest in the interlocutor, ask him questions. In this case, he will express as much information about himself as possible. This will build confidence in yourself and will be able to redirect the conversation in the direction you want.
Be diplomatic, don't get carried away with criticism. Talk more about agreeing with the interlocutor, but in some nuances you think a little differently. Speak softly and do not focus on the person's flaws. Ask questions so that the other person answers them in the affirmative. This will help you gain agreement in the course of the conversation.
Never argue. Hear other people's opinions and show respect. Perhaps there is something you really missed or overlooked. There are never winners in a dispute. Everyone remains unconvinced, but it is worth hearing the opposite opinion.
If you want a person to do something, then you need to make him want it. Awaken the person's interest and desire to achieve what you need.
On a fishing trip, without thinking about my own addictions, I put on the hook not a strawberry and cream, but a worm

Dale Carnegie
Don't try to get your idea across to the end. Unobtrusively tell about your idea, and let the person himself light up with it and develop this idea. Let him think she belongs to him. Then he will selflessly want to bring it to life.
When listening to the person's problem, put yourself in their place. This will help you to quickly understand and understand its essence.
Never give orders, it infringes a person's pride. Better ask him questions, and let him decide how to cope with this or that task. This develops creative thinking, and relieves you of resentment from subordinates.
Tell the person how valuable and important they are. Self-esteem and a sense of importance are great incentives to work.
To draw attention to your ideas, present them brightly and visually. For example, as in advertising. A boring presentation with graphs and numbers will leave everyone indifferent. A vivid presentation will draw attention to your idea.

Dale Carnegie's effective communication methods help people become more successful and influential in communication, avoid conflicts and disputes, and gain confidence in their words and actions.

Psychology of communication with impudent people

In life we meet different people, and we must be ready for any communication. Often on our path in life there are impudent people - these are people who shamelessly and impudently behave in order to achieve their own goals and benefits. They do not take into account anyone's opinion, do not care about the feelings of other people and believe that they are always right.

You can behave differently with impudent people. For example, respond with rudeness to rudeness, ignore, be manipulated, put in place. It all depends on the situation and who is in front of you. To be rude to the boss will be fraught, for example.

The first thing you need to do is not be afraid to say no. You need to be tough and not be led to any persuasion and manipulation. If you don't understand rejection, start ignoring it.
Try not to sink to the level of insolence, no matter how much you want to be rude. So you will be involved in his dirty game and will hardly be able to verbally defeat a born boor.
The main goal of the impudent person is to unbalance you, to force you to act as he needs. So try to remain patient and calm. Drive him to madness with your calmness and let him go looking for another victim.
Never let anyone violate your personal boundaries and meddle in their own business. You have every right to protect your privacy.

You must understand that all methods of effective communication are based on understanding yourself and the interlocutor. You must learn to understand people, understand who you are dealing with. In any case, respect, acceptance and awareness of the value of each person is the basis of successful communication.