There is no consensus on whether it is possible to kiss on a first date, since this is not reflected anywhere in the rules of etiquette. According to popular belief, the kiss should take place on the third or fourth date. However, by non-verbal signs, it will become clear whether the partner is ready to move to a new level of relationship or if you first need to get to know each other better. It is worth listening to the recommendations of psychologists and turning to the experience of other people so as not to violate the boundaries of decency and at the same time achieve harmony in relationships.
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Rule 5 dates
Some people mistakenly believe that agreeing to meet a person of the opposite sex already obliges you to something. But it's not. A guy and a girl get to know each other, learn about each other's tastes and decide whether to continue communication. They may well remain friends or even break up if they do not find common ground. Do not worry if the meeting turns out to be ineffective.
How to kiss a guy the right way
first date
On the first date, a man and a woman, in fact, are two unfamiliar people. In order not to experience discomfort, this day can be spent in a cafe, theater, ice rink or cinema, and then take a walk, learn more about each other. Women prefer to choose crowded places where they feel safe with a stranger.
A girl should not be offended if a guy comes without a bouquet, because the time for romance has not yet come. Perhaps, after the meeting, friendly relations will be established, and not romantic ones, so you can do without flowers. It is considered bad form to be late for a meeting, and this applies to both a guy and a girl.. People value their time, so keeping yourself waiting is disrespectful. At this stage, it becomes clear whether there is attraction between people. If there is sympathy, you can agree on a second meeting.
The guy kisses the girl on the lips
Second meeting
He is appointed in a restaurant, on a kart, in an amusement park. Any place is good, but not an apartment. It’s too early to move on to a closer relationship, so if a guy (girl) decides to invite him to his place, then only to a party with friends. On the second date, usually everyone pays for himself. This is not forbidden by modern etiquette.
It is desirable that the second meeting differed from the first in terms of mood. If the first time the couple met in a relaxed atmosphere, then the second time you can arrange a more active holiday. Both a man and a woman have the right to choose a meeting place.
Third date
By the third meeting, the couple becomes more relaxed. The awkwardness in communication disappears. The man and the woman already knew each other enough. They might have mutual friends. The list of topics that can be discussed has expanded. It's time to introduce your partner to your hobby, favorite films, books. Of course, you should not take a girl to the stadium if she is not a football fan, or go shopping with a man, despite the fact that shopping for him is tantamount to torture.
When parting, you can kiss on the cheek. If the partner feels uncomfortable, it is worth turning everything into a joke. Don't kiss a girl on the forehead. She will regard such a gesture as patronage or will think that the guy is old-fashioned. A kiss on the hand is also not a manifestation of gallantry in the modern world.
Fourth meeting
It's time for a romantic evening. The couple spends time in a secluded place, but not on personal territory. Suitable dinner on the roof of a multi-storey building or a table in a cozy cafe. On a date, a man comes with flowers. At the meeting, you can exchange small gifts. On the fourth date, you can already move on to kissing on the lips.
It is worth remembering that the first kiss should be gentle and as modest as possible. Light kisses without tongue are allowed.
Fifth date
The next date is a transitional stage to a closer relationship. A man and a woman have already appreciated the intellectual and moral qualities of a future partner. They already touched each other, that is, tactile contact took place. However, little is known about the beloved's body.
It's not uncommon for a fifth date to end in intimacy, although some couples put off that moment until their seventh or even tenth date. Some girls, wanting to provoke a fan or because of a strict upbringing, do not allow intimacy for six months. This approach can be taken calmly by an adult man, but a young guy will most likely insist on sexual contact in the near future.
Should you kiss on the first date?
Since there are no strict rules for intimate behavior, some couples move on to sexual relations immediately on the day they meet. There is nothing wrong with this if:
- people understand that a long romance is impossible (for example, a couple met on vacation, after the vacation they will no longer see each other);
- the purpose of the date is only sex;
- people do not have common interests, or they are from different social strata.
If the couple is set for a long-term relationship, psychologists do not recommend moving on to intimacy a few hours after they met. Kissing also belongs to the sphere of intimate relationships. No man will refuse a pleasant pastime with a charming stranger. But psychologists say that the more difficult a person gets what they want, the more they value what they have achieved. A man invests moral and financial reserves in courtship. Having got a woman, he is unlikely to want to go all the way from the very beginning and again invest in someone else. Therefore, it is important not to give him everything he wants at once. It is worth delaying kissing, even if the woman herself really wants to move on to caresses.
How to choose the time for a kiss
By the first kiss, partners will understand a lot about each other. If you don’t like the contact with your lips, even external data and common interests will not help.
For such an intimate contact, they choose a calm environment. The first kiss does not tolerate witnesses, so pressing your lips in the presence of friends or passers-by is not a good idea. You should not kiss in the cinema, even if the hall is dark and the couple is sure that others will not notice anything. Kissing a girl at a session is permissible only if the partners are completely alone in the hall.
It is best to kiss after a man walks a woman home. If a girl does not want to leave, then this is a sure sign that a kiss is exactly what she is waiting for. If at the entrance she hastily says goodbye, then the time for intimate contacts has not yet come. A man should wait with this and try to charm her another time.
To the question “Should I kiss a guy first? ' has a simple answer. Non-verbal signs are very well read by people. It is not necessary for a girl to be active herself in order to receive a coveted kiss. A direct look into the eyes, a smile, slightly pouted lips and a parted mouth, sparkling eyes will hint to the young man that it is time to act.
How to understand that a person does not want to kiss:
- he does not let you into his personal zone, maintaining a distance;
- turns away face and avoids eye contact;
- frivolous jokes spoil his mood;
- purses lips;
- does not touch the partner and avoids tactile contacts.
This does not mean that the interlocutor feels hostility. Alternatively, he is not ready for a closer relationship at the moment, or he has a too strict upbringing. Perhaps he does not consider a partner as a second half, but is only set up for friendship.
When kissing a new acquaintance on the lips, his behavior will tell. Sincere sympathy cannot be hidden, and non-verbal signs will help determine whether it is possible to move on to kissing right now. There is no strict etiquette forbidding kissing at the first meeting. But if there is a desire to keep the intrigue, excitement and romance, do not rush to enter into an intimate relationship.
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Adventurers, prudes. Macho, Botany. Their behavior on a date. Kiss options. What do they mean? The romance of dating will be eclipsed: Tuberculosis, Herpes, Hepatitis.
From childhood, parents teach us not to talk to unfamiliar men and women, not to take sweets from their hands. When we grow up, everything laid down from childhood bears fruit. Imagine the situation, you have just met a nice guy / girl, you experience not only sympathy, but also attraction. Your lips are craving a kiss, but this person is completely unfamiliar to you and we are already talking about more than just candy. Is it right immediately after meeting to rush into the arms and allow yourself to be kissed on the first date?
But after all, everyone dreams of love as in a fairy tale, one and for life. And there it arises suddenly, and the first spark flares up between people on the first date. It depends on this whether your relationship will develop after meeting or the light that flared up will suddenly go out.
The first date is usually the most exciting, the most touching and the most desirable. We are preparing for it as the most significant event in life and at the same time we are experiencing it, because it is a chance to become happy. The first date and the first kiss always remain in the memory, no matter how old you are.
Everyone on the first date decides for himself this difficult question: To kiss or not? There is no single answer, because for everyone there will be a different answer. One will definitely say yes! And the other, shaking his head says No! And both of them will be right, because there are no identical people and identical opinions. However, there are some obvious considerations that the majority simply do not think about, since at the time of the first date feeling prevails over logic and pragmatism ... however, this is what we are talking about later ....
In terms of behavior after meeting Girls can be conditionally divided into two categories: adventurers and prudes; although the guys are easily divided into the same groups: macho and modest young man, who is usually called a nerd.
Adventurers- girls who are ready to throw themselves into the maelstrom of new relationships, looking for bright emotions and new impressions at parties. For such girls, a kiss on the first date is a common thing, one might even say natural.
Shy girls- girls who are looking for a real, sincere and serious relationship. Therefore, such girls are likely to prefer not to kiss on the first date.
And each of these girls is right in their own way. If the adventurer restrains her impulses, she will feel deeply unhappy. And for a modest woman, the effort on herself for a kiss at a party will not bring anything but disappointment.
But there are guys and girls who do not fit either category or the other, they can be called prudent people. They are in no hurry to succumb to fleeting impulses, in each specific situation, thinking with their heads.
In the process of communicating with a guy / girl on a first date, you can always understand if this person wants to get closer, for this, just look at how he behaves, at gestures, facial expressions, looks, and you will understand everything yourself without further ado.
Kisses are different ... And what can be a kiss on a first date?
A kiss on the cheek is usually a friendly sign. Such a kiss simply means a friendly "goodbye."
A kiss on the neck is most often an intimate sign. It can be understood as "I want to continue the relationship."
A quick kiss on the lips means that you have completely and irrevocably turned your partner's head and he definitely wants to see you again.
A passionate tongue kiss is a long, hot and exciting kiss, most often a prelude to sex. After that, your relationship will definitely reach a new level.
It was the romantic side of the kiss on the first date.
But we are all adults and I would like to focus on the medical part of the process. Let's figure out what diseases are transmitted through a kiss. These are those diseases that are transmitted by airborne droplets and colds, tuberculosis and herpes.A common virus enters the body with the saliva of an infected person and provokes an increase in temperature somewhere up to 39 degrees. In this case, the disease lasts an average of 10 days.
Epstein-Barr infection or kissing disease many people are asymptomatic. In the initial stage, it is not dangerous, since it does not pose a threat to important systems, blood flow, or the functioning of organs, but upon transition to a viromefetic complication, it destroys brain cells.
Herpes- a viral disease, which is characterized by a rash of vesicles on the skin and mucous membranes.
Such a disease is usually immediately visible, but if you are still infected, then there are drugs that, only with regular use, can cope with the symptoms of infection.Tuberculosis- a very common disease caused by various types of microbacteria. It is transmitted both by airborne droplets, and through a kiss or when the patient sneezes and coughs. Symptoms are a prolonged cough with sputum and weakness. Treatment is based on therapy and an integrated approach.
It's not at all pleasant to talk about comparing AIDS and Hepatitis diseases., determining what is the lesser evil ... But many do not know that some forms of Hepatitis are extremely detrimental to the body and are not yet curable. But AIDS is practically not transmitted by kissing, unlike Hepatitis, which is almost always transmitted.
Sometimes, despite the obvious sympathy of a person, when a kiss seems so logical and desirable, it is worth thinking and being more indulgent if you show elementary attention to the mood and condition of a partner who (perhaps) wants closeness with you, but cannot afford it right now so as not to harm your health. It often happens that both attentiveness and caution, as well as the necessary prevention of diseases, can get rid of large and small ailments.
FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED.Whether to kiss on the first date or not is up to you! If you feel and understand that this relationship means nothing to you and you don’t really want to kiss, don’t kiss. You don't owe anything to anyone. Well, if you want, so why restrain yourself, kiss. After all, it is with a kiss that a long and lasting relationship can begin, the first bold step towards which is speed dating.
First dates can be terrible. You become the most nervous, sweaty, shy version of yourself. Desperately trying to present yourself as "interesting" and "real" by engaging in awkward conversations and spending time in the ladies' room, hoping he's not brooding over why you're stuck there.
But, oh God, what will happen if everything goes well? When you frantically brush your teeth before you go out, you may have a question: kiss on the first date or not? And who should take the first step? Here's what 11 women had to say about their views on kissing on a first date, from dormant wisdom to truly heartbreaking kissing stories.
“I've always liked saving a kiss for a second or third date. I know it depends on the date, but I think there are other ways to show interest in the other person. Sit next to him, perhaps with your hand on his leg. Ultimately, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer." — Daria, 24 years old.
“I rarely kiss someone on the first date. Well, sometimes it happens when I'm drunk... but usually, if that happens, it doesn't end with kissing." — Anya, 25
“Oh my God, if I don’t get kissed on a date, I will 100% consider that I was not interested. I am a flirty Gemini by nature, so I feel like I am always making the move and giving the opportunity for action. For example, if I come up to hug and pull back a little and look into his eyes, and he still doesn't take any action to kiss me, then I know it's game over. I understand that proper flirting is a half-step that gives the other person the opportunity to reciprocate without coming across as pushy or rude.” — Sania, 23
“When my ex kissed me for the first time, he leaned over, opened his mouth, and just sucked me in. As it turned out, that's how he kissed. Every time we kissed, I had to wipe my face because my lips were wet with saliva all the way to my chin. I was with him for three or four months. I don't know why I put up with his sloppy kisses." — Malika, 20
“People have a bunch of weird “what not to do on a first date” rules that look like we’re living in the 1950s. It's infuriating. If you both feel like kissing and even fucking after your first date, God bless you. Thank you for coming to my lecture." — Salta, 27
“It's not necessary, but if the date goes really well, we usually kiss. I've noticed that I'm more comfortable kissing on the first date if I've already dated a guy before. If this is a date with a Tinder guy, I need more time to get comfortable and see if we can continue. But if he doesn't kiss on the second date... that's a flop." — Raushan, 32
“If chemistry happened, I will go for it. But if not, I'd rather not give any false hopes and just say no. It's usually mutual chemistry, so it's the first step on both sides. I think when there's chemistry, I'm ready to take the first step in a split second." — Valeria, 24
“The boy I recently went on my first and only date with said, ‘I’m sorry’, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and then tried to hug me again. It was like we were kissing, then he said, "I'm sorry," stopped kissing, wiped his rough nose on his sleeve, and then tried to kiss me. I was so scared. Now I'm firmly against kissing on the lips on a first date unless I'm really attracted to that person. I think it's better to wait and limit the first date to kisses on the cheek. — Karina, 24
“I had my first kiss on a date at 21 and my eyes were open. I thought he didn't notice, but now, two years later, we remembered it and he said he noticed it and just didn't say anything. So basically all my relationships are lies.” — Arina, 23
“I had a boyfriend who purred right into my ear after the first kiss. And then, when I started to look closely at him, I noticed that ... he looked very much like a cat. He was like a cat, damn it! I never spoke to him again after that purr." — Katya, 28
“I had a crush on a guy in my class, and I asked him to help me with my studies, but he had other things to do… after which I didn’t see him for three weeks. Then a month later, I did it again, because I'm a pushy bastard, and he said yes. On our third "date" he just kissed me out of the blue and it was amazing. I know he expected me to kick him because he thought I was an "ardent feminist", but it was so cool. Forward, ladies! — Saule, 21
The first date is often the most touching and memorable in the history of the relationship between two people, and that is why guys tend to kiss the girl for the first time on this memorable evening. But if it has always been normal for gentlemen to accelerate the development of relationships, then many even modern ladies, due to innate or portrayed modesty, can take such a step with condemnation. However, do not be discouraged by a guy who really wants to snatch a kiss on a first date - he will be able to do this after he learns a few simple techniques for getting a girl to like him. We will also try to figure out in what situations a kiss at the first meeting would be appropriate, and when it should be delayed.
What a guy should avoid
The main mistake of an inexperienced boyfriend is the naive question “Can I kiss you?”. In 99 cases out of 100, the girl will answer “No”, but not because she doesn’t want to, but because she was shifted the responsibility and faced an uncomfortable choice. On the one hand, she may secretly desire this, on the other hand, she does not want (and quite rightly) to look too accessible. If the guy decided to kiss her, then only he should be “guilty” of this.
The second similar mistake is questions like “Why are you freezing? Why don't you want to kiss?" Some guys are seriously offended and refuse any attempts at physical contact (and it is needed to break the psychological barrier!). The girl, most likely, will not be able to explain logically why she does not want to kiss on the first date, since the reason for this is a mixture of moral attitudes, natural shyness and harmfulness. Therefore, demanding a normal answer from her or being offended is utter nonsense.
The best way to kiss a girl on a first date is to make her want to kiss a guy herself, with a few tricks and rules to help him.
Step 1. Preparing for a date: a pleasant smell
A kiss is primarily a physical contact, so even the most interesting and attractive gentleman must take care of his smell. No matter how much a guy brushes his teeth before a long date, the smell in his mouth will have time to return, but the owner of this very mouth will not feel it - that's how a person's sense of smell works. Therefore, it is necessary to bring a refreshing spray or chewing gum with you.
Step 2: Check by touch
To do this, it is enough for a guy to touch the girl a little more intimately than a short acquaintance allows, and check how her body reacts to him. She jerked her hand away as if scalded - it’s worth temporarily forgetting about kisses. If there was no reaction at all, or the girl even leaned forward, then she is quite ready for kisses.
Step 3. Hair check
Such, it would seem, not a vital part of the body, like hair, women are allowed to touch only after they feel sympathy for the person. You can try to straighten a strand of hair that has fallen in her eyes or remove a tree leaf that is supposedly stuck (and deftly hung there). If a girl allowed to touch her hair, with a probability of 80% she is ready for a kiss. However, this technique should not be confused with “fatherly” stroking on the crown - you need to touch the front strands.
Step 4. Lip Hypnosis
Long-term looks at the girl's lips have an excellent effect. The guy just needs to silently look at them, and then meet the eyes of his chosen one. Since this is the last stage before the kiss itself, here you will have to reveal all the cards and ask a direct question: “Do you want to kiss me?”. The whole gamut of answers, except for the firm and hot "NO!", Means "Yes, but I'm shy." Of course, this question is a pure formality, obtaining consent. The guy will have to kiss the girl, and not vice versa.
What should a kiss be like?
A guy needs to kiss a girl for the first time, firstly, quickly, without excessive passion, and secondly, on the cheek. Let her at least somewhat get used to the sensations, and to him. Having prepared it with a harmless kiss on the cheek, you can kiss the neck, ears and hair - all these places are erogenous zones in women, which will speed up the guy's goal - a kiss on the lips.
If a girl, when trying to kiss her on the lips, stubbornly continues to remove her head, this is absolutely normal. Most girls, especially young ones, play the role of impregnable princesses in this way: they cannot kiss without any equivocation! If the explicit and rude "Leave me alone!" did not sound, we can assume that she gave her consent, and with a clear conscience continue to try.
It rarely happens that a girl, due to a strict upbringing, is absolutely sincere in her embarrassment, and when she tries to break a kiss on a first date, she reproaches the guy for behaving uncivilized. It is not worth making excuses in such a situation: the boyfriend did not commit any mortal sin, and excuses will sound pitiful. The best way out is to smile and say something in the style of "Yes, that's how bad I am." It sounds relaxing, relieves tense atmosphere and is liked by many girls. Then you can continue your attempts - it is unlikely that the lady will again be against it.
If the guy's chosen one loves romantic melodramas and comedies, getting a kiss on a first date can be much easier. One has only to catch the eye of the girl and start approaching her. Girls love to use film stamps in real life.
Among other reasons why a girl may refuse a kiss (and not only on a first date), the following can be distinguished:
- The already mentioned bad breath from the guy. The girl will never admit this, so the boyfriend will have to guess and correct the situation.
- She just doesn't know how to kiss. As a rule, this fear makes a girl put off a kiss for later time after time, so a man needs to calm her down right away.
- The presence of strangers. If a guy intends to get a kiss on a first date, it's best to go to secluded places in the first place.
Is this kiss even necessary?
It all depends on the intentions of the suitor. If this is a frank pickup truck with the aim of dragging the girl into bed, and she herself understands this very well, a kiss on the lips is more than appropriate. If the guy is sincerely in love with the girl and intends to build a normal long-term relationship with her, then before the second, or even the third date, it is better to do with a kiss on the cheek. Nothing catastrophic will happen from such a small expectation, but the guy will make it clear that he is interested in the girl not only and not so much the body as the personality.
Can you kiss on the first date? The answer is yes if the purpose of the meeting is a clean pickup. With real feelings, it is better to wait with a kiss on the lips, only if the girl herself does not show desire. But in any case, a guy can kiss a girl if she does not shy away from touching her skin and hair. Then you need to apply the “lip hypnosis” technique, after which you can go directly to kisses: first on the cheek, then on the neck, ears, hair, and finally on the lips.
The age-old question, to be or not to be, is relevant when it comes to a kiss on a first date. The topic is discussed by both girls and men, and each opinion has supporters and opponents. How correct and permissible is it to kiss a stranger during the first time together?
Arguments for"
- “The earth is slipping away from under your feet” - a strong mutual attraction is obvious. Sparks fly between you, the chemical reaction that has arisen between people cannot be stopped, a situation that is not so common, so it is quite possible to afford it.
- The craving of partners for each other arose even before personal acquaintance, for example, during a long correspondence. There is a strong feeling of long-standing acquaintance and kinship of souls.
- When you first saw a person and spent some time together, you decided that you like him and there is no point in delaying a kiss.
- The date went perfectly, the time flew by, and the dialogue was interesting and lively, with no awkward pauses. You don’t feel like parting after such a date, and a kiss is a completely logical and natural end to the evening.
- A man is good for everyone, but it’s definitely not the hero of your novel. This also happens, and a kiss on a first date is a kind of point in a relationship that is not destined to begin. The first and last kiss without sympathy can serve as a weighty argument saying that you did everything possible to continue dating, but there was still no spark, which means there are definitely no reasons for new meetings.
Arguments against"
- Physical rejection. You just didn’t like the person, the touches are unpleasant, the thought of a kiss does not even arise.
- You are serious about contact and kissing a stranger is unacceptable for you on your own moral convictions.
- A pre-planned obligatory kiss can easily spoil the mood and dissolve the charm of the evening, because instead of enjoying the process of a date, all thoughts will be occupied with a kiss that has not yet happened. This will create a tense atmosphere that a man will definitely feel.
- Do not rush things if the partner himself does not take the initiative. Having made the impression of an annoying person, it will be difficult to correct your opinion of yourself. Therefore, it is worth relaxing and letting the man take the first step, if he himself considers it appropriate and possible.
- You yourself are not sure that the kiss will be desired. That is, there is no obvious discomfort during communication, but neither partner has a special desire for intimacy.
After weighing all the pros and cons, we can conclude that it is necessary to act according to the circumstances. The first kiss, like the first date, cannot be experienced twice. That is why, if there is no confidence in the correctness of what is happening, then you should not force events.
It should be remembered that a girl is not obliged to reciprocate a man in exchange for a pleasant evening spent together. Whether or not to kiss your companion is a decision that you make based on the general impression of the meeting and the strength of the sympathy that has arisen. The first kiss, which happened out of inertia, without much desire, will not deliver the expected pleasure to either side, so a not very successful date can be ended on a friendly note.
Male look
As for the men's point of view on the kiss after the first date, the assessment of the decency and availability of the girl is not related to whether the girl allowed herself to be kissed. If the sympathy of a man is real and the woman is interesting to him, he will not object to any scenario. In other words, the man will be happy if the kiss happens, and will be sympathetic if the girl wants to slow down the process a little.
As for the frivolous womanizers, for whom the next date is not an important event, such men can be recognized almost immediately. If your plans do not include tying up short-term relationships that lead to nothing, then you should refuse a kiss, because it will still not be appreciated. And for many people, a kiss is an intimate process, involving trust in a partner and intimacy that has arisen.
There is no reason to reproach yourself if the kiss on the first date did happen. An adult person is able to make a decision on his own, acting according to the circumstances. Nobody has the right to judge you for this. If at the moment the kiss seems to be a natural and harmonious continuation of the date, then there is no reason to restrain yourself.
In this case, it is better to regret the action that has taken place than to regret that the opportunity has been missed. Nevertheless, the girl is free to behave as she wishes, since there is no unambiguous algorithm of behavior on a first date.
It is impossible to predict all possible scenarios for the development of events, therefore the best approach is to allow yourself to enjoy what is happening without looking far ahead and without building castles in the air. Feeling ease in communication, a man will definitely ask for a second meeting, during which it will be possible to more accurately understand how you are suitable for each other and whether a long-term relationship is even possible.
Any date is a holiday, the opportunity to meet a new person, a chance to meet your only one or just make friends with someone. Do not neglect such an opportunity to have a good time with the prospect of something more. Humor and positivity are wonderful qualities that can help in any situation, so don't take kissing on a first date too seriously.
1 kiss can connect you with a man with an invisible thread, or turn away from each other, that's how lucky you are.
And yet, miracles happen on a first date, and people suddenly realize that they are simply made for each other, in this case, there is no point in waiting for a second date to kiss. The hope of meeting their prince at all times makes the girls agree to meet a stranger who can become loved and dear in just one evening. May you be lucky!