From time to time they remind of themselves. And not only lovers, but also former first loves, spouses, husbands, and even casual sex partners. Usually, they remind of themselves on holidays. Just send a congratulatory sms - why not? And how would you order to regard such a gesture to the receiving party? As a hint that you are remembered and would not mind being remembered again? Or as a thank you for a good time? Or maybe he was just looking for another number in the phone book, but stumbled upon yours and accidentally pressed "send"?
While options for reasons are scrolling in my head, memories pop up in my memory. And not those that are associated with the suffering and pain experienced during separation, but those that urge you to experience emotions again. Is it worth it?
Let's try to understand why those who have long been forgotten come back and find out if there are advantages in resuming old romances.
The temptation to meet with the former is always there. New - well-forgotten old, remember? Now we invite you to look at the situation from a positive side and evaluate the benefits that you will receive by restoring the old connection.
- The former is good because he is not a stranger. The best and worst aspects of personality have long been revealed. A companion does not need to bother to get to know her partner again: look closely, get used to, adapt, create the appearance of a “good girl”. This stage has already been passed.
- Forgotten feelings tend to be reborn. If once a partner was in love with her lover, then now it will not be difficult to experience similar feelings. The advantage is that excitement and passion will appear from a half turn, without lengthy preludes and doubts.
- There is an opportunity to show and prove that since the last meeting you have changed - you have begun to value yourself, for example. At a meeting, you can do something that has never been done before and really surprise the chosen one. Isn't it intriguing?
- The intrigue is also in the fact that a lot of time has passed, each of you had other lovers, a different, separate life, which means that you again became “unknown” and a mystery appeared in each of you. Familiar strangers are always intriguing.
- Ex-lovers usually feel guilty. Parting, as a rule, occurs because he once did not dare to leave his wife. So why don't you take the chance to calmly and tactfully discuss who is right and who is wrong? At the same time, get rid of resentment (in an adequate form). Besides, what could be better than a man trying to make amends? In this situation, you will be the queen.
- And most importantly - if you have long dreamed of resuming a relationship, but did not dare to call your ex, then here it is - your chance.
But note that the pluses tend to turn into minuses. As in any beginning of any novel, everything here is also good only at first. But this good is more fleeting than in novels that strangers start. After two or three meetings and a companion, and you will understand that each of you has remained the same, the riddle will turn out to be an ordinary illusion, and a stormy life is just an appearance. Therefore, the relationship will very quickly (faster than usual) come to the stage at which you broke up.
What do "reminders" about yourself mean?
Now we will analyze a few examples from the real life of beautiful people who are faced with reminders from a not very pleasant past.
Let's start by clarifying the real reason why he wants to come back.
Perhaps primitive, but the reason is sex. And there is no need to be upset that you could not achieve emotional attachment from your partner. If feelings are still preserved and you are not averse to meeting again, then use sex for selfish purposes. Do not be shy. Men are so arranged that at the moment of conquest of a sexual goal they are ready for anything. After all, it is the process of hunting, in the understanding of the stronger sex, that is the very love that a lady seeks to receive. Therefore, do not give up quickly, enjoy the moment and get as much as you want from the “hunter”.
But let's leave the hunt and move on to deciphering the strange behavior of the male with the help of the psychologist's answers.
Question: The lover has a habit of calling and apologizing, but does not offer to restore the former connection. What does it mean?
Answer: it means that he is waiting for the girl herself to show the initiative. This is a special type of men who like to have the advantage in their hands. By offering to meet, you will give him a trump card - to break down, think, allow himself to be persuaded and thereby keep control of the situation. Everything is simple here - sick pride is inherent in this type. However, as well as those men who show off their new passion to their former mistress. If the couple broke up and the girl found another, then the guy just needs to do the same in retaliation. And it is necessary that the former finds out about this. So he will prove that he is in great demand among beauties and that he has settled down perfectly (of course, better than you). In fact, he cannot survive that you, who remained HIS, now belong to another.
Question: a man shows signs of attention, but does not invite you on a date. How to evaluate such behavior?
Answer: Perhaps it's just politeness and courtesy. If the breakup was painless, this kind of attention is normal. However, he may also be testing the waters to find out if you would like to meet again? Since the refusal will be a blow to pride, the partner chose the tactic of slowly moving towards the goal. When he makes sure that the lady is not indifferent, he will take the first step.
Question: But the situation, which was already mentioned earlier - every holiday, the mistress receives congratulations. To respond or not to respond?
Answer: It is worth answering only if the girl wants her former lover to return. But if there is no desire, then it is better to ignore it. Where is the guarantee that he did not turn on the general mailing mode and several more former-present-future do not receive identical congratulations along with you? A man who wants to return the past associated with you is not limited to postcards alone. He will do things. And this can be explained by the fact that he is trying to smooth out your separation, which, apparently, was not very beautiful. He tries to cover up bad memories with such small amenities, to show you that he is not offended, hoping that you will respond in kind.
Is it worth bringing up the past?
It all depends on how you broke up, how much you experienced alone and how you got out of depression. If a girl has been in an emotional “pit” for a long time, then there is definitely no point in meeting again. Remember how painful the recovery period was. It is a little easier for men - breaking off one sexual relationship, they easily start another. Emotionally, they become attached only to mothers and wives. Lovers are rarely affected. Therefore, taking him to bed, you will return not to the former romance, but to the very point of the conflict at which you parted. There will be a repetition: old wounds will open, you will want to get rid of grievances, you will again stumble upon misunderstanding, a quarrel will break out, etc. As a result, you will both regret that you decided to meet.
If people parted amicably, without offense, then you can renew the connection. Often this happens to those who are married, do not want to get divorced, but also do not want to “enjoy” only insipid family life.
There are also more difficult cases. Some men remind themselves of themselves because they feel incomplete in past relationships. Perhaps the connection was interrupted at the initiative of the lady, and she managed to live through the completion stage, but the partner did not.
The problem is that the young man himself often does not know what he is guided by. The lady, receiving "reminders" from the former, will experience discomfort and, possibly, a sense of guilt for having made the decision to break up on her own. And the guy in such a situation is often annoying, which only exacerbates the situation. A woman can answer him with rudeness or irritation, because, feeling guilty, she does not want to admit her feelings. After all, in fact, no one owes anything to anyone. In this case, it is recommended to talk openly with your partner and find out why the former lover returned, what is the goal? On the part of the lady, there should be a recognition that she is not comfortable refusing meetings every time. If necessary, apologize for the past act and offer to disperse forever.
The feeling of falling in love is wonderful, and the realization that a woman has reliable support and protection in the form of her man gives additional strength and a sense of peace. The hardships of life are much easier to bear together. Relationships fill life with new colors.
Parting...
But no one is perfect in this world, and it happens that in one moment everything changes. It would seem that just yesterday the chosen one looked at his woman with a look full of love and passion, but today he is cold and as if completely closed to communication. Sometimes cooling in a relationship occurs temporarily, but it happens that this leads to the fact that the couple ceases to exist. and, left alone, a woman can only think and guess what the man will decide. Will he return?
Why did it happen?
Having the fact of discrepancy, one should initially understand the reasons for what happened. It's no secret that the atmosphere in a relationship directly depends on the woman. So what often leads to a breakup? The reasons are different:
- The feeling that everything has come to pass. Feelings lose their sharpness over time - this is inevitable, but every woman can try to refresh them.
- Absorption by life. Many ladies put chores much higher than the need to devote personal time to their chosen one. Even in the cleanest and most tidy house, it is unlikely that anyone will like it. A man can afford a housekeeper, a cook, as well as the rest of the household staff, he needs a chosen one for spending time together and feeling.
- Communication with a lover in a pretentious tone. Sooner or later, even the most resilient will escape from such moral oppression. No man makes any claims.
- Conflicts with relatives on the part of a woman in which she does not take his side.
- The fading of passion, for the restoration of which no action is taken.
- Lack of love and deep feelings.
What should a woman do if she wants a man to return?
After a period of emotional distress, pouring tears into the pillow and several evenings spent in the company of girlfriends, discussing how ungrateful guys are, there comes a stage when something needs to be changed. Whether men return after a breakup depends mainly on the woman's attitude - what measures will be taken and what result will follow.
The first thing to do is take care of yourself. Left alone, a woman gets a little more free time, which is not worth spending bursting into tears, reveling in her own grief and complaining to everyone she meets about her tragic fate. This period can be perfectly filled with useful activities. First of all, calm down, listen to yourself, understand what you want, and not what you need. It's time to love your nature. This is where building healthy and happy relationships with other people begins. A woman who values and loves herself will definitely attract a worthy partner.
Men's thoughts
I wonder what men think after a breakup? As a rule, they also try to understand themselves, their feelings. Some try to just take a break from living together, devote time to hobbies, meet friends. Those who immediately jumped into new ones from previous relationships enjoy the novelty of communication, burning passion, etc. In the initial period, there comes a time when a man makes a choice - to remain single, develop a new relationship, or return to an ex-woman.
Actions and feelings of a young man
The behavior of men after parting is sometimes surprising. Especially if the initiative to break lies with him. Instead of completely disappearing from the life of the former, he begins to look for meetings, regularly reminds himself, tries to attract attention. It is not uncommon for a man to call after a breakup, catching his ex by surprise. Such actions take place when the culprit of the gap feels confused. After all, he is not used to being alone, making any decisions on his own, especially if the couple has been together for a long period of time.
The feelings of a man after parting are ambiguous. On the one hand, he is seized by a feeling of freedom and lightness, on the other hand, he often becomes a hostage to such a situation. At first this is not a problem. However, the situation gets a little more complicated later on. When a man is left just alone with himself, it is much easier for him to figure it out.
If a young man has another girl ...
If at this moment he is in the company of a new chosen one, he most often wants to just run away. It seems that the relationship captures him, but it’s one thing to see his mistress furtively, enjoy intrigue and passionate meetings, and it’s quite another to live with her on the same territory. In everyday life, a person is known as best as possible. And once a sweet stranger can turn into a grumpy roommate in a moment. It happens that having caught your chosen one in communication with the former, the current passion for the first time shows its true face.
Possible Scenarios
Further events develop according to several scenarios:
- If the reason for the breakup is leaving for another woman, then, despite all the pain and tragedy of what happened, you need to try to save your own face, and also disperse on a friendly note. You never know how life will turn out and what will happen in time. Perhaps a new relationship is not destined to develop into something more, then there is a chance to do everything so that the man returns after parting.
- When a young man goes nowhere, simply because the passion has faded. Often this happens after many years when the children become adults, and nothing connects him with his wife. In this case, you can try to get your husband back by simply talking to him honestly. Maybe we should give him more freedom. Older men like to devote their free time to their favorite activities, such as fishing, hunting, etc. During this period, it is better to support a partner, with his permission, you can join his hobby. Then, perhaps, common interests and topics for communication will arise.
- If a man is tired of watching his chosen one in an untidy form, always dissatisfied and offended, then you need to take care of yourself as efficiently as possible. And do not complain about the lack of time. Now there are many ways to make life easier. Put yourself in order, visit a beautician, a hairdresser, do a manicure and pedicure. Find time for a session After transforming, tune in to a friendly way. Ask your chosen one to help you improve your relationship. So you better understand why men return after a breakup. The psychology of the act will become more understandable. This means that in the future it will be possible to exclude all the causes leading to
If you look at it, it becomes obvious that the answer to the question of whether men return after parting depends largely on the woman herself. If she sees the point in continuing the relationship, there are unsaid kind words and not everything has yet been done together, then this, of course, should be. Further, at the initiative of the woman, everything will happen so that the union is reunited. If there is no point in further efforts, as well as in the relationship itself, then it is not worth trying.
When a man returns after a breakup, a woman has a choice - to take him back or burn bridges and let him float freely. In any case, after this moment, life will change forever. After the events experienced, none of the couple will remain the same.
Why is it returning?
There are many reasons why men return after a breakup. Human psychology is arranged in a complex way, so it is worth understanding everything in order. Men are returning because:
- It is uncomfortable for them to be without a chosen one, her role in their life is quite large.
- In comparison, truth is born. It often happens that the former, in the opinion of a man, has better qualities than a new passion.
- A representative of the strong half of humanity sometimes needs time to understand how deep his feelings for the former chosen one are. When they are serious enough, the relationship is rekindled.
This is the most common return after a breakup. Psychology is a complex thing, it is not so easy to understand it. There are actually as many reasons to return to the old relationship as there are personal views. However, some hints can be found in the above.
If he comes back to you...
When a man returns after a breakup and a woman decides to take him back, the stage of restoring trust and relationships as a whole begins. Now it is important to take into account all the reasons for the gap and prevent the repetition of mistakes. It does not hurt to always find time to put yourself in order, to establish it in a house or apartment. Also, from now on, all claims, reproaches and accusations should be replaced with requests. Praise your man more and say nice words to him more often.
Old relationships in a new way
Now it’s clear why men return after a breakup. They need a new relationship, but with an already proven partner. During this period of attention, he receives more reproaches and less pressure. Life is getting better, relationships get a new breath. Now a woman needs to show all her wisdom and establish a connection with her beloved. An important component of a full-fledged relationship in which both partners are happy is, of course, intimacy.
In this, you should show your imagination, buy underwear for special occasions, at least sometimes create a suitable atmosphere and more often please your loved one with bodily caresses. The same goes for tactile touch every day. You can make a relaxing massage after a working day, which will relieve fatigue and stress. Give it more attention and effort, and soon life will begin as if anew.
Exodus
When the relationship returns to its previous course with renewed vigor, it is no longer particularly important why men return after parting. Human psychology is arranged in such a way that if at first there was an interest in the analysis of the root cause, in the future it is lost. Partners are just trying to improve their relationship.
When the outcome of a breakup is not so rosy, you just have to put up with it. This happens in life, and it is better to really let go of the person, and with it the situation, although this is not easy. Over time, life will show that such an act was the best decision possible.
Psychology of men- this is a rather primitive thing, according to many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity. But in thinking this way, they are making a huge mistake. Men are not ordinary, but specific. They do not like to complicate and create problems from scratch. In general, the strong half behaves in a completely different way in comparison with women. Therefore, understanding all the subtleties of the structure of the psychology of men will allow the weaker sex to build more effective models of relationships with husbands, friends, bosses, sons, and just a random environment. In most cases, the sons of Adam, regardless of belonging to a certain age group or social group, even in adulthood remain children, only their hobbies become larger and they can afford much more, while remaining at heart as vulnerable as childhood .
The psychology of men is such that only outwardly they are overly self-confident, persistent and unshakable. However, this is a mask. Many women are lost in the assumptions why they do not develop relationships with the male sex, not realizing that when communicating they take the mask for reality, as a result of which they make many mistakes that the male sex does not forgive. It has long been customary to call men the stronger sex. They deserved such a title only because of their physical advantage over women, and mentally they are less strong than the beautiful half. Often the female gender does not understand that the gentlemen who accompany them through life can also be vulnerable and vulnerable, need tenderness and care.
Secrets of the psychology of men
Often each of the representatives of the human race sins by trying to interpret the other through the prism of himself. In other words, human nature is such that each subject ascribes to another character traits that he himself has, or a model of behavior in certain situations that is inherent in him. And when the other begins to behave in a different way, it seems to the individual that they are not valued. But in reality, the other individual only expresses sympathy, agreement or disagreement in a different way.
People often lack the opportunity to look at situations from an alternative perspective or “other eyes”. Women in difficult situations do not put themselves in the place of their husbands, but only suggest what they need to do. At the same time, they completely forget about personal individuality and many other related factors. Naturally, the average husband, who does not have the gift of reading women's thoughts, acts in a completely different way. This is how women's grievances against the representatives of the stronger sex are born, who absolutely do not understand them. Such an approach, of course, has a negative impact on the relationship between the sexes and on their mutual understanding in general.
To understand male psychology, the entire male brotherhood must be divided into certain types. Any "normal" representative of the stronger sex strives to achieve some goal known to him. It is important for some to give evidence to others of their own significance, others strive to become the center of any team, absolutely everyone likes it, others lust for power, fourths see their goal in helping others, and fifths, on the contrary, are used to only taking, giving nothing in return.
Psychology of men or how to understand a man?
This is probably strange, but even when the children of Adam and Eve speak the same language, they still do not understand each other. And the point is not in the used declensions, endings, suffixes, pronouns and prefixes, but in the different expression of one's own opinions and experiences. An example of this is the retelling of an ordinary children's fairy tale, heard from the lips of a boy and uttered by a girl. The big difference between their stories will be immediately noticeable.
If the basics of male communication and female language were taught in school lessons, many conflicts between the sexes could be avoided.
For men, actions are the main thing, while for the female part - the inner world and emotions. While the strong half is thinking about the accomplishment of a world revolution, the weak part of the population is figuring out a new culinary masterpiece, supposed for dinner. When the solution to a complex production problem is spinning in his brain, her head is crammed with all sorts of options for losing weight as soon as possible. Women tend to think more concretely and narrowly than men. The strong half often does not notice scattered socks, dirty dishes and cobwebs in the corners, in turn, the weak half notices any mess in an instant and she instantly has a decision on how to fix everything. It follows from this that since women cannot understand the representatives of the stronger sex with their minds, then one should not project their own worldview onto them.
We must accept the fact that there is a psychological difference between men and women. It is necessary to reconcile with this postulate and not to dispute it in vain. Often, most ladies take dissimilarity for unwillingness to build relationships fruitfully. Men are mostly straightforward. For the most part, they themselves do not know how to hint and do not understand hints.
If you set a goal, then male behavior becomes very understandable. The stronger sex calls brown eyes - brown, and the blue dress - blue, while the weaker half believes that she has golden-brown eyes, and the dress is the color of the deep sea. Men don't mix concrete concepts with emotions. They are economists by nature - they are used to saving time and internal reserves.
Representatives of the stronger sex do not have telepathic abilities, so you should not be offended by the chosen ones who did not give a bouquet of flowers, which the charmer so dreamed of. Another fact from male psychology is their inability to read minds. Male individuals are simply not trained in telepathy, as a result of which they cannot guess about women's dreams and requests. Therefore, if the ladies want to achieve something from their gentlemen or ordinary colleagues, they should talk about it to the representatives of the stronger half, and preferably more than ten times, so that they will definitely understand. You need to demand what you want from men and not be shy. The main condition is a calm and confident tone so that a man can realize that the subject of conversation is very important for a woman, as a result of which he will satisfy the “request” with pleasure.
How to understand a man? Male psychology tells us that male individuals simply cannot stand being commanded. It is not necessary to tell the sons of Adam what and when, how they need to do some work. It will be enough just to determine your own point of view.
In addition, men are very pressured by the boundaries into which society has driven them. The male part of the population should always conform to three myths:
- the strong half never cries, because tears are the lot of weak girls;
- the strong half should always remain serious;
- in any case, the strong half should remain strong.
A man is, first of all, a living being, not a robot. He cannot react in accordance with rules invented by no one knows. Therefore, men also cry. And there is nothing unnatural or shameful in their tears. Also, men don't always have to be serious. Representatives of the stronger half should be accepted as real, that is, as they really are, and not be adjusted to the limits contrived by society. In addition, the excessive seriousness of a partner, work colleagues, relatives quickly tires, as a result of which they try to avoid such people as far as possible. Also, men are simply not physically able to always be strong spiritually. They also have bad days. And at a difficult moment, they expect support, not the phrase: “Be a man!”. Do not forget that the sons of Adam are also endowed with a heart and a soul. They also have the right to experience and express emotions.
Psychology of a man in a relationship
Any man is characterized by the presence of certain requirements for a partner. And if their "wishes" are brought together in accordance with male psychology, then we get a very monotonous set of requirements.
The psychology of men in relations with women is manifested in a certain set of ideas about a companion, about her behavioral manifestations and appearance. If a woman spends a little of her own time to deal with the uncomplicated mental organization of men, then by doing so she will gain a golden key that unlocks the cherished door hidden by a happy relationship.
First, the mental activity of male individuals is quite straightforward and absolutely concrete. As a result of this feature, it is difficult for men to keep up with the high-speed flow of women's thoughts. Representatives of the strong half are more interested in the essence of things. Every sentence you say should have a practical meaning. Water in conversations can drive men crazy.
Many ladies are trying to find a hidden meaning in any male action and are systematically engaged in self-digging, which leads to confusion in relationships. It will be more effective not to analyze all male actions, but to deal with the needs of the chosen one and help him implement them in life.
In principle, male and female needs are similar to each other, but there are a number of differences that lead to confrontation in relationships. For the emotional health of the representatives of the strong half of the population, a sense of self-worth is vital. And their professional fulfillment and financial security play an important role in this. Money inspires confidence in men. It is important for the male sex to feel like a breadwinner. In addition, men achieve self-confidence through a variety of hobbies and hobbies. Therefore, it is recommended that women do their best to encourage male hobbies. Men's interests should not be banned, they can only be slightly directed in the right direction. For example, from computer games to fishing. Interests help the stronger sex to restore their own mental strength or find opportunities to express their own emotions. It must be understood that personal interests are personal territory, entry to which is prohibited without knocking.
Men are very greedy for flattery and slightly conceited. These are their weaknesses, but everyone has weaknesses. Therefore, women should learn to turn to their advantage. To do this, you need to occasionally emphasize his competence, quick wit, sense of humor and intelligence. And, besides, it is recommended not to spare a word of gratitude for men.
Representatives of the stronger sex need confidence in their own ability to find ways out of any situation. This gives them a sense of their importance. Significance for the stronger sex is often of key importance in achieving global goals. Therefore, the weak half is recommended to learn to give significance to their spouses in order to feel with them as if behind a stone wall. A man, rewarded with his other half of significance, will delight his chosen one again and again with new achievements and gifts!
The psychology of a man in love lies in his need for support from his partner and love. And especially they need physical love, thanks to which they feel fulfilled. Often, emotional male depression indicates a violation of any means of receiving love. Therefore, it is required to find out what ways of showing love a man needs in order to pay special attention to them.
Men, although they are considered the strong half of the population, they also need a sense of security and want to feel their own belonging. As a result of belonging to a social group, the representatives of the stronger sex feel safer and can climb the career ladder, earn respect and admiration. In order for psychological health to be normal, it is important for men to successfully cooperate with the environment. And the respect of society is the proof of their worthy life to the male sex.
It is important for Eve's daughters to learn to thank their own partners for their successes, achievements and admire strategic steps.
The male gender respects honesty in the weak half. They need their loved ones to answer all their interrogative statements honestly and confidently, to truthfully voice their own desires and needs, without wagging and hints.
The sons of Adam are fans of self-confident ladies and self-sufficient individuals. Men are attracted like a magnet by active young ladies and independent ladies who have personal interests and their own circle of friends. Men dream that their spouse combines confidence along with tenderness, care and independence, intelligence and humor. They are fond of versatile women who are able to change externally and spiritually, demonstrate various facets of their own character and personality.
Representatives of the stronger sex hate manipulation in relationships. They are simply too lazy to try to guess the "signals" of their companion. They dream of a calm and simple relationship, a relationship in which the soul rests.
The male sex believes that ladies should want to develop personally and take responsibility for their own worries and emotions. The strong half admires young ladies who know how to laugh at themselves and allow themselves to make mistakes.
Although there is an opinion that there are no faithful representatives of the stronger sex, men themselves demand fidelity in relationships. They want to communicate and live with a woman, while not worrying that she has a crowd of admirers with whom she flirts and makes eyes at them. Men need sincere relationships.
Thus, the ideal companion in the harsh male life is a universal woman. However, it should not be universal for the entire male population, but for one particular man.
Psychology of a loving man
The stronger sex does not show their own feelings openly. The male part of the population prefers business. It is easier for them to fulfill all the whims of their beloved, so long as they do not express their love. It is difficult for men to sincerely talk about feelings.
Psychology of a man in love.
A man in love in the presence of an object of love becomes shy, even being a leader by nature. The main signal demonstrating the presence of feelings in a representative of a strong field is a long look directed towards the object of feelings. If a man feels exclusively passion for a lady, then his behavior will be different. With surging lust, the representative of the male part of the population becomes more arrogant and assertive in dealing with the object of passion. His postures and gestures are dominated by slight aggressiveness. All his actions are aimed at invading the personal space of the young lady. A man inflamed with passion constantly tries to hug a woman.
A man should feel like a conqueror, so they do not like "sticky" young ladies. Excessive assertiveness will only frighten and repel them.
The psychology of men in love is such that such behavior will only cause resistance to approaching such a “warrior”. Therefore, girls are advised to keep a distance, to remain a secret that you want to open. A man is a hunter, as a result of which he is interested in prey "on a silver platter" exclusively as a one-time meal.
The psychology of men in relations with women is characterized by a rapid cooling of the first to the second. The strong half is simply unable to keep its own interest in one object for a long time. And therefore, women need to learn how to intrigue the chosen ones, without fully revealing themselves to them. An inaccessible girl is always attractive to the stronger sex. After all, it was not for nothing that the gentlemen of the past were capable of reckless actions for the sake of one glance of the chosen one. Thanks to chastity, the beauties of the Middle Ages forced men to commit serious deeds. A woman, even after marriage, is not recommended to reveal her own thoughts and innermost secrets to her husband. Representatives of the weaker sex need to hide a mystery no matter what. After all, thanks to her, the everyday life and dullness of everyday life will never enter into married life.
The psychology of men in love goes through three phases of love. The first phase begins at a time when the relationship itself does not yet exist, and is a state of being in love.
Male psychology in this phase provokes the representatives of the stronger sex to try to interest and surprise the chosen one. Men in a state of love are accompanied by a constant change of mood - it seems to be flying with happiness, then it is tormented by uncertainty. Most attempts to make the right impression on the fair sex end in failure, which gives rise to emotional problems and barriers. A man, until he wins the final victory, will be unsure of his own abilities.
The second phase begins at the moment when the relationship becomes "official". Confidence grows by leaps and bounds. At this phase, the foundation is laid for the further behavior of men in relationships. He unconsciously evaluates the boundaries of what is permitted, and establishes the territory of his own freedom and power.
The third phase is the state of the loving individual. Often this phase comes to family relationships. The experiences of men are the same as in the first phase, but hidden deep in the subconscious.
Although the male psychology in love differs from the female one, it is quite easy to understand.
Psychology of a married man
The male half of the population, especially the one that excites women's hearts, is, as luck would have it, bound by marriage. Therefore, women periodically establish relationships with “married women”.
Psychologists say that the representative of the stronger sex, who loves his own wife, will not commit adultery. He will not risk happiness, built up by years of living together, for the sake of momentary pleasure. In a married man, the desire to protect the family, to maintain the usual way of life and relationships prevails. Contrary to stereotypes, most married men are conservatives. A loving man needs only one wife. The prospect of entering into a new relationship, building relationships anew, getting used to the “hops” of a new girlfriend, changing the established order of life that you love does not inspire, often even scares.
The psychology of a married man is such that most non-free representatives will hide the presence of a wife until they fall for a lie or a woman sees through his lie. When a married man is pressed, he reluctantly admits that he is bound by marriage, but he will present his marriage as something insignificant. Basically, representatives of the stronger sex hide the fact of their lack of freedom solely for selfish reasons. After all, the young lady he likes may not agree to spend time in the company of married men. If a representative of the strong half does not hide the fact of having a wife or accidentally let slip about his marriage, then later he will mention his wife in such a tone as if she is a distant relative or an inanimate creature in general, an annoying nuisance that prevents you from having a good time.
This behavior is quite understandable. After all, men appreciate a calm and measured life, devoid of scandals. This "silence" relieves him of the hassle and is convenient for everyone. However, don't be fooled. No matter how a man talks about his wife, she does not cease to be her. A wife may be boring and unloved, but in the life of every married man she occupies a rightful essential place.
Why is a married man looking for an intimate relationship on the side? Psychologists have identified a number of the most common reasons:
- men often believe that the wife has ceased to understand him, and therefore they are looking for understanding on the side. Often it is more important for men to understand their subtle mental organization, and not intimacy;
- the man is tired of the constant scandals and showdowns arranged by his wife, he wants to take a break from her steady discontent and "sour" expression on her face;
- a man dreams of diversity in his own intimate life;
- if there is a baby in the family, then the man is simply tired of constant lack of sleep and crying, of the inattention of his wife;
- if a man entered into marriage on a "fly" or because it is necessary, and he himself has not yet matured for marriage, then freedom and communication with young ladies will beckon him. After all, there are so many beautiful ladies around, but he can’t, he is married. This "injustice" causes resentment for life and provokes a strong half into extramarital relationships.
In addition, relationships on the side are completely satisfied for a man, no matter from which side you look at them. He successfully plays the social role of husband and head of the family. And the presence of a young mistress only adds to his status in the eyes of friends. After all, this is an indirect argument proving his masculine and material viability.
Also, marital relations bring not only delicious borscht and a warm bed, but also certain obligations shared with the spouse. Therefore, often, after coming home from work after a hard day at work, men want to relax, and not plunge into a pile of family problems that require an immediate solution. Naturally, this does not cause a romantic mood. As a result, the strong half is not so strong. Instead of trying to find a way out of the vicious circle, because the wife is also hard, men find an easier option - a connection on the side.
Psychology of a man after a breakup
Most ladies are interested in the question: why do men return after parting? Psychology says that they have many reasons to return to their previous relationship. After all, even if a representative of the stronger sex in public demonstrates indifference, this does not mean that he has peace in his soul. It is generally accepted that the stronger sex is thick-skinned, so the gap is much easier to bear than the ladies. This opinion is completely untrue. Men can also have a hard time breaking up with their beloved, they just don’t show their own emotions or drown them at the bottom of their glasses.
The primary and main task of men after the breakup of a relationship is to hide their true state. They are trying by all means to prove to the environment their indifference about what happened. Therefore, often outwardly they become even more cheerful and cheerful. He expresses his sadness in his striving:
- get drunk;
- more likely to be in noisy companies;
- have fun;
- find an extreme hobby like motocross;
- to seduce as many naive female "fools" as possible;
- Start a one night relationship.
Why do men return after a breakup? Psychology says that there may be several reasons for this.
In the first place, it becomes uncomfortable for the strong half to be without an ex-girlfriend, because it turns out that in his life the role of the chosen one is quite large. Secondly, truth, as we know, is born in comparison. A man usually, having parted with his girlfriend, instantly plunges into a new relationship. And it often happens that the former lady of the heart turns out to be more intelligent, balanced, cheerful, honest than the current one. Thirdly, males often need some time to realize the depth of their own feelings for a former girlfriend.
Also, the reason for the return can be a banal jealousy for new men in the life of a former passion. Often, the representatives of the stronger sex refer to former girlfriends as an object that, even after the lapse of time, remains their property. Therefore, when a new young man appears in the life of a girl, the former chosen one is ready to win her again.
In addition, men can return "home" when they work up. Being free, of course, is great, but I want the same care, warmth, affection and comfort.
Hello, my name is Anya, I'm 20 years old, at the age of 16-17 I had my first love with a very beautiful and charming martyr, he was 18-19 then they met for 6 months, then they fled due to my young stupidity! He quickly had a new girlfriend with whom he is together to this day, although I had a relationship after him, 2 years, now they are new and I seem to love it, everything is fine, but there is one but .... for some reason he reminds of himself every year or a year and a half, he can come, say that he misses and even loves, but he won’t leave her and disappears again! WHAT IS IT? why? I don’t know ... the fact is that he VERY loves himself, he liked to show off on himself in front of the mirror, and he himself is one hundred percent sure that I don’t miss him and he brazenly tells me this himself, now I went to work in another city with my young man, but because of his visit to me before leaving (I arrived at night, fell into the porch drunk and began to say that he was always bored) now he doesn’t get out of my head .. because of this quarrels with my own, breakdowns: (Of course, I heard that it’s hard to forget first love, but the hope that he still has feelings does not leave my bad head ...: (And the constant irresistible desire to write stops only the fact that I him in VK in the black list (How to stop remembering the past (?
Hello Sasha! so that the past is not in your head and in the present, for this you need to leave it behind. Those. emotionally end the relationship with a former young man - he comes every six months, a year, BUT you accept him, open the door for him, listen to him - what did you voice to him? Did they say that you have another life and that he is just a ghost of the past for you? Have you told him that you do NOT need him to come? did you dot it with him? For yourself, first of all, you need to decide - do you WANT to leave him in your past, or do you still continue to hope for something? After all, even his arrival consoles only himself - he is not ready for a relationship further, he constantly runs away, he is used to the fact that, if necessary, he can come to you, show himself that he IS love, that HE CAN love - but can he? If you decide to leave him in your past, then you need to end the relationship, say everything once (write him a letter, call) and voice everything - voice that you are letting him go to your past, that you will not accept his calls and visits, that he is now and children on their way, and you will not wait for him, you are building your life. And be consistent - do not answer his calls, do not open the door for him - after all, every time you accept him, hope begins to be born in you, illusions begin to be born, all this destroys your present. And it is NOT HE who does this, but you yourself - it doesn’t matter what drives HIM! What matters is what YOU want - to hope or leave in the past!
Sasha, if you decide to figure out what is happening - feel free to contact me - call - I will be glad to help you!
Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow
Good answer 1 bad answer 0Sasha! Here much depends on you. You need to understand what you are ready for .. You yourself need to unravel this tangle, because this is your life, and you are the mistress here. It is impossible to get into his thoughts, we can only assume something, and again it will not be reliable, maybe he has completely different thoughts and plans. Therefore, in this situation, it is better to focus on yourself and act as it will be comfortable for you. I can only tell you that I conduct trainings *Psychotherapy* and regularly work on similar problems of those present. There is a description of the training on my website. If ours is perceived as a problem, then we can leave the relationship by making a falling out of love module and start treating it neutrally, or other options are possible, everything is up to you. In addition, you can go to my website in the section *articles* and *trainings*, there is a lot of material on relationships, . If you think that all this can be aligned, then it is worth working on the technique of resolving relations. You live for yourself, live your own life, and are free to do as you see fit here. It is likely that he really loves you, but often men behave very contradictory, he may be afraid of you, afraid of relationships, afraid that you will refuse him relationships and etc. often this fear is higher than love. So everything is up to you. Good luck!
Afanasyeva Liliya Veniaminovna, psychologist Voronezh
Good answer 5 bad answer 0Good evening. I have such a situation. We have not been living with our ex-husband for about three months, we divorced even earlier already like a year, but we got together because we wanted to fix everything, our daughter is growing. Did not work out. Now he has another girl, he seems to be dating her, but at the same time he is an eyesore to me. How? Well, firstly it appeared in the agent, although before that it was always invisible to me, now it hangs in my list of online contacts again, I deleted it from there. Further, his cousin, who is on the list of my friends on the social network, posts their joint photo with a new passion on his front page. I probably would not have paid attention to this photo if it would have been somewhere in his albums, and not on the avtarka. Going to his page on the social network, I saw all the videos from my page on his list, so I realized that he often dives out of curiosity on my profile. And in conclusion, he introduces all our family friends to a new girl without much shame for the fact that they will inform me anyway and I will find out about it. Does a person really care so much that it will be at least unpleasant for me to know all this? Or is it done with some hidden intent???
Psychologists Answers
Alia, hello!
At the heart of the actions that a person performs, there is always a motive. And only the person himself knows about it.
The impression that there is some kind of incompleteness and understatement in your relationship, and, in this regard, your husband expresses his feelings in this way (it’s just not clear whether this is a feeling of anger, resentment or some other).
Try to ignore all this. Accordingly, in order for this to work, do not raise this topic with any of your mutual acquaintances, take it with a condescending smile if someone touches it himself. Thus, you will show that he will not be able to achieve the goal that he has.
Any of your reactions that he learns about will give him a reason to consider himself to have achieved his goal.
But your indifference will give a different result. And for your inner state - it will only benefit.
If there is a need - address personally for consultation.
All the best to you!
Sincerely, Inna.
Good answer 7 bad answer 1Hello Aliya! Very often, former married couples, officially being divorced, continue to actively climb into each other's lives. Someone wants to “annoy”, to make their ex-spouse or wife more painful, to show or prove that at the moment of his life everything is fine with him, etc. etc. Something similar happens in your situation. You will not be able to change your ex-spouse, but you will definitely change your attitude to everything that happens and as for him able. It may not be so easy to do it on your own, but you can contact a qualified specialist in your city. I think after such work, you will be able to live a full life, calmly reacting to everything that your ex-husband does. "Forgetting and ignoring" is impossible, and useless, since he was part of your life. You need to understand, accept and say goodbye. The past must remain in the past, making room for a new present and future. Think about it. Good luck to you!
Good answer 4 bad answer 1