Stories of HIV positive people. People who died because they did not believe in their illness: real stories about HIV dissidents and dietary supplements treatment. My day is no different from another person's day

HOW I GOT HIV (AIDS) - REAL STORIES, REAL PEOPLE

Dear visitors of the site, if you have something to tell about your story or maybe about the story of your friends and loved ones, about how they became infected with HIV (AIDS) infection, please write to us by mail, we will definitely publish your story. For the address for letters, see the contacts section.

It is difficult to know about your diagnosis, but despite the difficulties, share with people how it happened, tell us what you feel now and how you see your future life. Below you can read real stories, real people who have already shared their story of HIV infection.

Thank you for choosing to tell!
(Anonymously)

OUR READERS 'STORIES

Mikhail (city of Saratov):

It was a boring spring evening, I was at home alone and did not know what to do. Suddenly, in the silence, the phone rang. This was a call from my friend who invited me to a disco. Naturally, I could not refuse his offer, I got ready and arrived at the club at the appointed time. A large group of friends gathered, we went to the club, took a free table? near the dance floor and it raced fun, dancing, drinking, laughter and joy. At one point, I noticed a girl, she was wearing a beautiful white T-shirt, blue jeans and white krasovki. Her slender body attracted my attention more and more, and when she danced, reproducing grandiose movements, my heart skipped a beat. At that moment, nothing said about trouble, and I did not even think about the bad, my mind was drunk and intoxicated by the beauty of this girl. And the moment came, the music of a slow dance sounded, I sipped a glass and went to the table of this girl. She was in the circle of her friends, their table was set quite richly, there was a bottle of elite wine and American whiskey, each girl had a Caesar salad and many different snacks. I plucked up courage and invited her to a slow dance, and how my heart fluttered when she agreed, did not refuse and went to dance with me. Then everything was like in paradise, we danced every dance, were forgotten in passion and, it would seem, that there is only me and her. At one point, I offered to leave this establishment. We called a taxi, stopped at a store, bought a variety of delicious food and drove to the hotel. All night, until the early morning, we indulged in joys, and of course, heated and intoxicated, we did not think about rubber bands. We felt good, we had fun, then rested and indulged in caresses again. Those were happy moments, then I did not think about HIV or AIDS, I was just happy. It would seem that trouble cannot come, a girl from a prosperous family, has a higher education and a good job. After that night we didn't meet again, her phone didn't answer, and I couldn't find a place for myself. Four months later, I had a fever, snot and cough. The therapist ordered me to pass standard tests and blood tests for HIV. I passed all the tests and did not even care about their results. On the day I went to see the therapist, I was in a good mood, I was joking, and I felt good. The therapist looked at me and said: "What's so funny, you have HIV !?" At that moment, time stopped for me. Re-analysis showed a positive result. My life turned into a life for doctors. Constant tests and pills. Here's a story about how I became infected with HIV. I never thought it would touch me.

Maria (city of Cheboksary):
I contracted HIV by accident. I have a daughter and a husband, there was little money in the family, because the husband had to feed both me and my daughter, and himself. Once, by a general decision, it was decided that the husband would go to Moscow on a rotational basis. So he worked for a whole year. New things, electronics, began to appear in the family. Once I found out that I was pregnant, we were glad, because the second child was waiting for us. I remember that moment at the gynecologist's appointment when she announced to me that I had HIV. I did not believe it then, I decided to retake the tests, the repeated tests were unchanged. Then I cried for four days, my husband was on duty. I waited for his arrival and voiced everything. He was shocked, said that I was cheating on him. But then he said that six months ago, he and his friends were relaxing in the bath, drinking and having fun. Friends wanted girls and invited moths to the bathhouse. He did not want comfort with them, but alcohol did its job and he agreed to shout without a rubber band, there was nothing else. He didn't think it was possible to get HIV that way. Therefore, he blamed me. Both of us have now been diagnosed with HIV. I didn’t ask for a divorce, who needs me. We, of course, had an abortion and now we live for the sake of our first child. We want to leave at least something useful for the child, because we will soon be gone. Here is a story or a story about how AIDS got into our family.

Evgeniy (city of Chita):

I curse the day I used a moth. I thought that HIV infection would never touch me, and I would not get infected. If my story about how I contracted AIDS helps someone avoid this, then I have brought a little plus sign into this life. I am now 24 years old, I have not yet had a permanent girlfriend, sometimes I had to do without pleasure for six months or more, naturally I want to somehow get female affection, and I very rarely used the services of night butterflies. Naturally, knowing about the risks of contracting AIDS, I have always used the best and most expensive rubber bands for protection, and after the relationship was treated with Miramistin. Once my elastic band broke, I did not immediately notice it and the act continued. And when I noticed, it was already late, and I finished in it, and the act itself lasted quite a long time. Then of course I was upset, but I thought that everything would be okay, because what a risk that a girl is contagious with HIV is very small, and if she is contagious, the risk of infection is not so great. After the act, I washed myself, treated myself with Miramistin and went home with calm thoughts. A year later, I had the first strange symptoms, I began to get sick often, when I had not been sick before. I did not attach this importance, but I thought that once a year it is necessary to be tested for genital infections, I went and passed it. What was my mood when the venereologist voiced me about the HIV diagnosis, then everything was like a fog, he told me how to proceed and took a receipt for criminal responsibility for infecting other people. Of course, during the year I had more contacts, but they were strictly with an elastic band and nothing broke. After the diagnosis, my life changed, I began to live not for myself, but for society. I understand perfectly well that I have not had so many years of life, and therefore I want to do something to be remembered, maybe to help someone. I do not blame that girl, because she honestly said that she will not be without an elastic band, and she has such a job. Here is a story about how I got sick with HIV (AIDS).

Arkady (city of Novosibirsk):
My story about how I got infected with HIV is completely banal, and my girlfriend infected me. I don't know how much she was mine, but we talked with her for almost a whole year, while we often had bed joys, but we always strictly used an elastic band and even used it during oral sex. The only time when I could get infected from her was when I gave her oral sex, because you can't attach an elastic band there. Although they say the HIV virus also penetrates through the pores of the gum, although I doubt it. By the way, the girl found out about the HIV diagnosis at the same time with me, before me she did not know about her diagnosis. But I know for myself that everything was fine with me before her, I was checked. We communicate with her, but relations as such are no longer there. I never could have thought that I could get infected like this, because I do not have promiscuous relationships, I only had a constant partner, who would have known….

Elena (city of Stavropol):
I myself am to blame for the fact that I contracted HIV, I did not think about safety then, and I did not know much about it. I thought it was somewhere out there, far away, and it wouldn't get me. I love to do pleasures, I like variety, and therefore I had different young people, I often changed them and had fun with them, having fun. Of course, I used an elastic band with someone, but not with someone. And when I began to take contraceptives, I became without a gum at all, because it is much more pleasant for me and for the guy. I found out about my diagnosis quite by accident, I developed itching in the genital area, I went to the gynecologist and she diagnosed thrush, although she had never had it before. Additionally, she referred me to free tests, various sexually transmitted diseases and HIV. What was my mood when the doctor told me about my HIV result, I certainly did not immediately realize everything. For about 30 minutes the doctor told me what to do next, how to have sex and how to be treated. When it really struck me, it was when I read about HIV on the Internet, after that I probably cried for a week. Now more than two years have passed, I got used to it, I take antiviral therapy and I live as usual. Naturally, no sexual intercourse. After all, I am obliged to warn my partner about the diagnosis, and when the guys find out, they immediately refuse, well, if I got HIV, then I don’t want anyone to suffer because of me.

Nikolay and Maria

They live together recently. We met on the site for HIV-infected. Maria 10 years ago was infected by her husband, from whom she gave birth to a healthy child, because she began to take therapy on time. Nikolay has been living with a positive status for 20 years, he switched to therapy only three years ago, when he began to feel very bad. He was embarrassed to talk to doctors about his diagnosis. "Now I perceive HIV as a simple chronic disease, I am grateful to the state that it treats us for free."

Andrey, 42 years old

My health condition worsened. Doctors treated completely other diseases. But nothing helped. When almost everyone was expelled, they offered to take an HIV test. It turned out to be positive. To be honest, I even felt a little relieved from my heart - I thought I had oncology. I heard about HIV that people have been living with it for a long time, especially now, when medicine allows you to lead a quality life. I got registered and started attending the patient's school, the first educational program began with the film "I +". In my life, practically nothing has changed, the only thing is that the regime has changed a little - twice a day you need to set aside a few minutes to drink vitamins.

Anna Koroleva, 50 years old

I found out that I have HIV in 2010. This was not shocking news to me: by that time, my husband had been HIV-positive for more than 10 years. But more importantly, he was an HIV dissident: these are people who deny the existence of HIV and deliberately refuse any treatment. His mother, a medical worker, was also one of them: she believed that there was no such disease - there was simply reduced immunity. Subsequently, we parted, and I had a new family.

I started taking antiretroviral therapy as soon as I could, and for two years now I have an undetectable viral load. This means that no HIV is found in my blood. Why did I decide to live "with an open face"? I just realized that people who find out their status after 40 years (old age does not protect from the virus: HIV does not look at either a passport or a diploma), it is much more difficult to accept it. Faced with the fact that gorgeous women, amazing wives and mothers, outstanding workers, scientists, leaders literally self-destruct and fall into incredible depression, I decided to open my HIV status to help others fight and overcome fear of this disease. I left my phone number to the doctors at our AIDS center and asked them to give it to women of age who need help, but who cannot or do not want to go to official psychologists - it is difficult for them at first. I know what to say to these women, almost the same age. I know how to help. In general, I love people. And life.

Maria Godlevskaya, 34 years old

I found out I was HIV positive when I was 16. Quite by accident: I passed the tests before hospitalization, brought the results to the doctor, and he chided me: "Well, why didn't you say that you have HIV?" To be honest, I was not very surprised: I lived in a focal St. Petersburg area for HIV infection and there were HIV-positive friends around me. HIV was not something “like that” for me. I was more worried about my mother: she is a kindergarten teacher, a teacher from God. Naturally, the first thing she thought when she heard my diagnosis was that he would put an end to her career. But having gone from this clinic straight to the AIDS center, we received comprehensive information about the disease from the epidemiologist and both continued to live almost as if nothing had happened. I was lucky. Perhaps young age played a role. Now, when I talk a lot with thirty or forty-year-old women who find out their HIV status, I understand more and more that the main reason for their fears and depression is a heap of stereotypes about HIV that have already accumulated in their lives. They say: "I am so ...". And what is "such"? You are just a person who is sick. You need to adapt to this. You can live with HIV quite efficiently and comfortably. It all depends on how informed the person is. That is why I am leading a video blog "On the way about the main thing." These are three-minute videos in which HIV-positive people answer the most common everyday questions. A quick guide: how to travel with HIV? How to build a relationship with a doctor? How to give birth to healthy children with HIV? How to treat teeth? Lack of adequate sources of information very often leads to the fact that a person, having learned his HIV status, lives in a distorted coordinate system and severely limits himself.

Tasha Granovskaya, 38 years old

In 2003, I registered with the antenatal clinic for pregnancy. It was ten weeks or something. And a year before that, I got a tattoo. I got tested, and three days later I was called to the consultation to report that I had a positive reaction to HIV. So I found out. Until now, this is one of the most common ways to find out. The child's father asked for an abortion. A couple of old acquaintances started cyberbullying for a week, some people disappeared. How my life has changed ... You know - for the better: minus extra people, plus - awareness and joy of life. At the moment, my condition is no different from that of a healthy person. But still living with HIV in Russia is a little harder than an ordinary person lives. Although recently the tolerance of the society has grown somewhat, this is noticeable. Due to the growing number of HIV-positive people, it seems to me, including. I am actively involved in social work. I support HIV-positive people who have problems with access to medical services, with loved ones. For someone who has just gotten a positive HIV test, I advise you to take many, many deep breaths in and out. Calm down, don't panic, don't surf the Internet. Just take a referral and go to register at the AIDS center.

Angela, 37 years old

- ARV therapy helped me give birth to a healthy baby 8 years ago. All my son's indicators are normal and completely healthy. But I strictly followed and continue to follow all the doctor's recommendations. I only regret that at the time when I was diagnosed with HIV, there was no such approach to controlling this disease. Of course, now it is much easier with this: drugs are issued by the state on a budgetary basis, so, one might say, all the conditions for a quality life are there. What I want to note: therapy does not prevent me from being realized either as a mother, or as a wife, or as a member of society. And this is the main thing.

Ksenia, 32 years old

- There are no particular inconveniences in this regard. The first time was a transitional period, so to speak, physiological adaptation to antiretroviral therapy. But these are all purely individual sensations, over time (and rather quickly) the body has adjusted to the drug scheme. And so - 2 tablets in the morning, 3 tablets in the evening. At the same time. At first, I set the alarm clock, since you cannot miss it, now everything has come to automatism. No, there are no difficulties, this is absolutely certain. Probably, many will be interested in how an HIV-infected person physically feels. The answer is: just like a healthy person. Only because of my HIV status, I am obliged to monitor my condition twice as closely as a person with a healthy immune system.

Polina Rodimkina, 38 years old

For a long time I was alone with the disease, I know that many infected people stay at home and are afraid to go out. Until now, HIV is considered a sentence. In the huge Sverdlovsk region, only three people speak with an open face and talk about their status. In Yamal, there are none at all. I am here to say: "Guys, you are not alone, live and stop being afraid!" Now, I am ready to argue that HIV is not a sentence. Through HIV, I found myself, became a human being, gave birth to a wonderful healthy daughter and became a responsible mother. I have no idea what my life would be like without HIV. Well, I would work as a lawyer, because I studied at the law faculty. But here and now I am happy, even in the most difficult times. It is important that a person does not remain lonely in his trouble, be accepted in society, by his friends and relatives.

In 2015, I realized that I was capable of more and decided to open my own rehabilitation center for people like me, calling it “Steps of Hope”, where people undergo rehabilitation according to a program that once helped me too. Only people who have suffered from this can know how to help others. Today I am a successful head of the center and a participant in the Open Faces social project.

Igor, 36 years old

Many years ago I received a test result form and found out that I have HIV. I was confused and scared, refused to believe that this was possible with me. I thought I was doomed to become an outcast. I thought that my family, friends and colleagues would turn their backs on me, that they would stop loving me and begin to be afraid. I thought that an end was put on my life, and perhaps I would soon die. At one point, I had a whole lot of questions, it was difficult to understand where to start. Now I know that people like me have time to answer all these questions, and there are people who are ready to help me. And these people are doctors and, like me, PLHIV are people living with HIV.

I have been living with HIV for 18 years. Yes, my life has changed, but life is constant change, HIV corrects plans, but does not cancel dreams, love, a happy family, career, children and friendship. There are 35 million people with HIV in the world, more than 7000 in Estonia, and each of them asked himself the same questions and many of them, including my colleagues and friends, found answers for themselves.

Denis, 28 years old

When I came for the HIV test result, the answer sounded like a sentence. The world collapsed in one second, everything around became black and white. I thought, “What's next? Why live? I have no future. " But I met people who supported me in difficult times. They were also HIV positive like me. They were funny, enjoyed life and helped people like me. I learned that there is a cure, thanks to which I can live a long time. And then I realized that HIV is not a sentence. I remained the same, only in my life a little responsibility has been added, responsibility for my health and the health of my loved ones.

I coped with all the difficulties and now I am happy - I have a loved one, my daughter is growing, and I have friends. I appeal to those who have just found out about their status or cannot accept it: HIV is not a sentence, treatment is available and life goes on !!!

Kira, 26 years old

I faced HIV 13 years ago when I learned that my husband was infected. When I found out his diagnosis, it seemed that life was over, in an instant it seemed that all plans and dreams had collapsed, because at that time we did not have children yet, and what kind of family can be complete if there is no continuation in it? But time passed, and I began to think differently, since I was not going to leave my husband, he is the most dear person in my life, and his illness cannot change this. We had all kinds of things, it was very hard, 5 years ago, my beloved almost died. He fell ill with meningitis, and he had only 14 healthy CD cells, but I prayed him to God and put him on his feet, at that moment he started taking therapy, and now his CD-4 cell count is 1050, which is very good, and viral the load has not been determined for more than 3 years, he feels great and lives a full life. The most important thing is not to give up, believe and have a desire to live. Everything is fine with us now, despite the fact that my husband is HIV + and I am HIV-. We have a beautiful daughter growing up, she is already 4.5 years old, she is absolutely healthy. I want to tell everyone who has encountered this problem, do not despair, do not give up and wait for death. My family has already deceived her once. I know that we will live together for a long time, because the main thing is to love each other and support each other at any difficult moment. And AIDS is NOT a sentence!

Vova, 28 years old

But why not just live HIV-free and enjoy life? You just need to always remember that this can affect you too! I can say that there is nothing wrong with being infected with HIV! No need to be ashamed! You need to know, believe ... .. and always hope for the best ...

Sveta, 30 years old

I tell everyone that probably the only way not to be afraid of the diagnosis is to live a full life.

Lena, 22 years old

HIV is not death, but a chronic disease, and there is death for each of us, infected or not ... HIV is not a reason to put an end to it, but a chance to rethink your life and understand the importance of how great it is to do good to people and to BIND WITH DRUGS. And there will be a chance to have a family, a child, everything that life gives.

Olya, 27 years old

At first it seemed that life was over. I thought that I would never marry, but now there is hope. I thought I could not have children. And now I know that you can have children and live like ordinary people. And I believe: they will find a cure. I really want to start a family, have children. Health is in the background. I follow him. Every three months I take tests to find out my immune status. And if it is low, I try to maintain it, because I want to hold out until the time when medicines are found. I am not giving up hope.

Vika, 26 years old

Victor, 32 years old.

Several years ago I received an HIV test result and found out that I am HIV positive. I was very confused, refused to understand that this could happen to me. I thought I was now an outcast. I thought that my family, friends and colleagues would turn their backs on me, that they would stop loving me and begin to be afraid. I thought that an end was put on my life, and perhaps I would soon die. At first I did not know what to do, there were many questions: where did the HIV infection come from, what it is, how to treat it and what to do next. Now I know that people like me have time to answer all these questions, and there are people who are ready to help me. And these are doctors, and also people living with HIV.

I have been living with the disease for 10 years. Yes, my life has changed, but life is constant change, HIV adjusts plans, but does not cancel dreams, love, happy family, career, children and friendship.

Nastya, 25 years old

HIV appeared in my life suddenly: I found out that my husband was infected. When I found out his diagnosis, my whole life seemed in vain, all dreams collapsed in one moment. We didn't have children, and what kind of family can be complete if there is no continuation in it? But time passed, and I began to think differently, since I was not going to leave my husband, he is the most dear person in my life, and his illness cannot change this. We had all sorts of things, it was very difficult, 5 years ago, my beloved almost died.

He fell ill with meningitis, and he had only 114 healthy CD immune cells, but at that moment I helped him fight the disease - I reminded him of every pill intake when he started taking therapy, and now his CD-4 cell count is 1050, which is very good, and the viral load has not been determined for more than 3 years, thanks to antiretroviral therapy, he feels good and lives a full life. Now I understand that the most important thing is not to lose hope and not give up. Do not despair, and do not expect death.

I love my husband and believe that we will live with him for a long time, and we will support each other, no matter what happens.

Victoria, 21 years old.

I found out that I was infected this summer, I was in shock, my hands were shaking for about a month, I could not sleep, I did not want to live ... After thinking everything over, I realized that life continues, it can be as complete, you just need to love yourself more , the people around you, in general, I began to value life much more and everything that and who surrounds me. No, I'm not happy that I am infected, but nothing can be fixed, so there is only one thing left - to LIVE.

"Selling" berry "expensive ...."

A very anxious 25-year-old man turned to a psychologist with tears in his eyes. During the conversation, he said that the day before, out of stupidity, being drunk, together with a friend decided to use the services of commercial sex workers for the first time.

Waking up in the morning and slightly sobering up, he accidentally noticed on the arms of his commercial partner "paths from injections of drugs." Immediately, thoughts flashed about possible infection with sexually transmitted infections and HIV infection. Remembering that in two days his wife and son were returning from vacation, and he could put her at risk of infection, he immediately turned to the AIDS center for examination and consultation with specialists, because he and his wife were planning to have their second child.

The specialists informed the man about the possible risks and asked him to persuade the commercial partner to undergo examination as well. The diagnostic results showed that the girl was diagnosed with HIV infection and Hepatitis C.
Naturally, in view of the preservation of medical secrecy and confidentiality, the young man could not be informed about this.

The specialists explained to the man the information that an HIV test can be negative. This happens in two situations - if a person is not infected with HIV, or if a person has been infected very recently and his immune system has not yet developed enough antibodies for the test to “see” them. In most people, the period of accumulation of antibodies lasts up to two to three months from the moment of infection, rarely - up to six months. This time is called the incubation period or "window period". If a negative result is obtained in the "window period", this does not mean that the person is not infected with HIV. Moreover, if a person is still infected with HIV, then he can infect others. That is why it is recommended to undergo an HIV test 2-3 months after a risk situation, for example, after unprotected sex.
During the year, the main character of this story was examined, sex was only protected, I had to explain to my wife everything that happened.

Fortunately, his wife forgave him for his weakness, because he did not hide anything and did not put the family at risk of infection. And over time, according to the results of HIV testing, he miraculously turned out to be healthy.
Two years later, a daughter was born in their family. According to the man: "I will never exchange family happiness for fleeting weaknesses."

But, such stories with a happy ending happen more often in fairy tales.
After the publication of information materials about the incident, a "string" of foreign cars lined up near the hospital building, the number of requests for HIV testing increased significantly. As it turned out, those who like to buy a “berry” are expensive, there are many users of commercial sex workers, and each of them has his own story, his own fate ...

We urge you, our reader, to take care of your health and the health of your family and friends.
For more information on HIV infection, please call the information line 32-74-51.

"A short novel - a play of shadows ..."

A pretty, well-mannered, pleasant 59-year-old woman turned to a psychologist for a consultation. During the counseling session, she told about her pain - how she contracted HIV infection.

She devoted her whole life to motherhood. She was divorced from her husband for a long time and raised her sons alone. Thanks to her successful career, good income and love for children, they did not need outside support. As the saying goes: they lived in perfect harmony, supporting and protecting each other. The sons became the pride of their mother, both received a higher education, decent work, and started a family.

“Now it's time to think about yourself, to arrange a personal life. Go to the resort. Now you can afford it, ”the friends advised.

A voucher. Recreation. A party. A romantic dinner with a gallant man. Flowers, poems, sweets. He was so attractive and perfect that it seemed that this is the one to whom you can entrust your life, it was easy and reliable with him ...

And here is the evening of parting, the promise of a quick meeting. Correspondence, calls ... in general, the man's courtship lasted for a month.

Gradually, the heart, disturbed by love, began to "heal". Work, home, familiar social circle. Once I felt a slight discomfort, the temperature increased, the lymph nodes increased. After a while, the state of health returned to normal. I went to the doctor six months later. When conducting a regular medical commission, the registry offered to additionally undergo a free examination for HIV infection.

Thunder, out of a clear sky, a flurry of emotions, thoughts, fear, deep loneliness and defenselessness in front of the universe and the people around. Diagnosed with HIV infection. How? Where from? Why me? For what? After all, I have always believed that only riotous girls and drug addicts are ill with this. How to live with it? How to tell sons? What if their wives won't let my beloved grandchildren come to me.

I listened to the doctors' consultations mixed with bitter tears. Stationary. My lies to my children about my cancer diagnosis ... a confusing story about my upcoming trip to Moscow for treatment. In general, I composed on the go. And she was going to the AIDS Center. I expected to see bars on the windows and barbed wire around the institution with that name. But now I am here, I can freely communicate with people who, like me, by the will of fate have become hostages of the disease. Wonderful and kind nurses, friendly and caring nurses, qualified doctors, psychologists. It was they who became the support in difficult times, it was they who were the mainstay and the storehouse of the knowledge given to me about how to LIVE with this disease, that HIV is not a sentence and that there is antiretroviral therapy, thanks to which I currently support my immunity.

Afraid of running into general discussions, I am still trying to find the words for a confidential conversation with children. I hope they accept me with my pain. Now I know that HIV infection is not transmitted by everyday means and I will do my best not to put anyone at risk of infection.

A short novel, followed by the play of the shadows of the disease ...

But, I am strong, I will not give up, I love LIFE in all its manifestations and I am grateful to the Almighty for it.

.

When an ordinary patient of the AIDS center finds out about his status, denial is a normal reaction, the first stage of acceptance, psychologists say. But crossing it is often hampered by the information that HIV dissidents spread in huge quantities, who do not recognize the very existence of the virus. The most common arguments in this case: no one has isolated HIV, no one has seen it, and antiretroviral therapy is part of a monstrous global conspiracy of corporations against ordinary people.

How long can you live without treatment and what is the price of denial - in the stories of HIV-positive people who refused to take therapy for many years.

Two articles on atypical cases of Pneumocystis pneumonia and Kaposi's sarcoma in homosexual men were published in 1981. Then the term GRIDS (Gay related immunodeficiency syndrome) was proposed to denote a new disease, and a year later it was renamed AIDS. In 1983, the journal Science reported the discovery of a new virus - HIV and its connection with AIDS. The American psychoanalyst Kasper Schmidt was one of the first to publicly doubt that the hypothesis of scientists has a scientific basis, and in 1994 he published a well-known critical article, where he argued that the immunodeficiency virus is nothing more than an invention of scientists, and AIDS is a product of epidemic hysteria. Ten years later, Schmidt died of AIDS.

As of August 1, 2016, 62,542 HIV-positive people were registered in the Samara region, of which slightly more than half of the patients are available for observation. Many refuse to accept therapy, do not take the necessary tests and disappear from the field of vision of doctors immediately after the diagnosis is made. They may not go to an AIDS center for years, ignore medications, tell others that HIV is a great hoax, or pretend that nothing is happening to them. But in everyone's life there comes a moment when it becomes impossible to ignore the virus.

~

Anna

Anna is thirty years old, she has been living in Moscow for the last three years. Before that, she spent her whole life in Samara. I learned about the diagnosis in 2005: “I got infected through sex, probably”. After that, she did not take therapy for six years, and did not take tests at the AIDS center for the same amount.

“When I found out about the diagnosis, it felt like I was punched in the head. I left the office, but I have no strength, complete emptiness, as if everything was taken away from you in one second. Doctors then seemed to be talking about therapy, but so that they could not believe in the treatment. I asked them: "Is there a future?" And in response: "Well, maybe in seven years you will die, or maybe in twenty." And there is one question in my head: “Why with me?”.

I cannot call myself an ardent dissident. Rather, I just wanted to delay the start of therapy as much as possible. I associated pills with binding hand and foot - you depend on the schedule of taking, you have to take a bunch of drugs a day. I thought I couldn't do it. The fact of lifelong life was simply killing, because it’s like a habit that cannot be abandoned. And then I just decided to convince myself that nothing bad would happen to me, that I could continue to live the way I lived before the diagnosis. At that time, I was generally not afraid of anything in life, I also just went to work as a flight attendant - this is a huge load on the body.

In 2011, I developed an acute form of herpes, half of my face was swollen. Terrible. I called an ambulance, but they refused to hospitalize me - they did not believe that everything could be so bad with herpes, but on the phone I was not visible. As a result, I ended up in Pirogovka, I lay there for a long time. True, it was not possible to completely recover from herpes, the optic nerve atrophied, and I went blind in one eye. The consequences are irreversible. After that I began to be afraid of everything, there was a feeling that I had exhausted all my strength. That's when I decided that it was time to take therapy ... If I started doing it right away, it might have turned out differently. "

Anna does not have a Moscow residence permit and is not registered at the local AIDS center. We have to get pills in different ways: to issue powers of attorney for friends, who then send the drugs by mail. Anna says that she has been living with HIV for so long that she no longer knows how she would feel without her.

Elena Lenova,psychologist, consultant on work with HIV-positive people:

- When a person is faced with an incurable disease, one of the stages of acceptance is denial. It is difficult for him to believe that this could happen to him, and he can grab, like a straw, for any opportunity not to admit the obvious. And most often, at this initial stage, patients come across dissident articles that convince a person that he cannot have any HIV, that these are all scams and hoaxes. It is all the more difficult to believe that you are sick when you feel normal at first. The saddest thing is to find out that this dissident has died or that the parents who denied treatment have had a child with HIV. I think the main reasons for this whole situation are poor awareness of people about the virus, a banal desire to deny the obvious and distrust of doctors.

~

Alexander

Alexander, 37, lives in Samara and works as a driver at a factory. I learned about the diagnosis in 2001. He got infected, like most in those days, through a needle.

“Immediately after I found out the diagnosis, I went and got drunk. At the reception, the doctor said something about therapy, but I did not listen to him then. Then I did not go to hospitals for ten years. Quit drugs due to legal problems, but continued to drink. All this time I felt normal and without therapy. I read HIV-dissident books, I liked that there were convincing arguments, for example, that no one had seen the virus. I didn't think about the consequences then, and in general I didn't think about anything because of the alcohol.

I have been taking therapy for about two years. Then he quit because he started drinking again. I thought: what's the point of taking medications and pouring them with vodka?

Once in the middle of summer my temperature rose to forty and did not subside in any way. I knocked her down for a couple of hours, she got up again, and so on for a whole week. Until recently, I didn’t want to, but I realized that I had to go to the AIDS Center, because there were no symptoms other than temperature. The doctors found out that I have a lowered immune status, only 9 CD 4 cells ( the number of these cells indicates how much HIV has affected the immune system, treatment is started when the patient has less than 350 CD 4 cells - approx. ed.). In fact, they pulled me out of the other world, prescribed therapy - about seven pills a day. Two months later, I already had 45 cells, little by little it became more and more. I have been taking therapy for about two years. Then he quit because he started drinking again. I thought: what's the point of taking medicine and pouring it with vodka?

During the same period I got married. The wife also has a "plus", and she also did not take therapy. It so happened that refusing treatment is everyone's personal business. And then she was knocked down sharply - kidney problems. The disease had to be treated with hormones, and hormones greatly reduce immunity. Vicious circle. The doctors did what they could, but it was too late. "

The last week of her life, Alexander's wife was connected to an artificial life support apparatus. When Alexander finally realized that nothing could be fixed, he again went into a binge. Then he decided that he needed to get out of it. On the fifth day of sobriety, the wife died. Since then Alexander has been taking therapy again. He says that this time he will give up the pills only if he firmly decides to die.

Guzel Sadykova , Head of the Epidemiology Department of the Samara AIDS Center:

- HIV dissidents mainly find information on the Internet. For example, there is a popular myth that no one has seen the virus. It was written once in an unknown year, although a lot has changed since then. When you tell such patients that scientists have already received the Nobel Prize for isolating the virus, it sounds like incredible news to them. According to our observations, most often women refuse to take drugs, often pregnant. It may be more difficult for women to recognize the fact that they have HIV and that they can pass it on to their child. In the case of refusal of treatment, we work specifically with patients, not with the HIV dissidents movement in general. Some “deniers” can be persuaded, but some of them, unfortunately, die, including the children of parents who do not believe in the existence of the virus.

~

Anton

Anton is gone. Several years ago, he moved to Krasnodar, friends remained in his native Samara, and in Togliatti - a little daughter, who was born from a former drug addict wife. He himself also took drugs, which is why he contracted HIV about ten years ago.

In the south, Anton met Maria, also with a positive status. For about a year they lived in perfect harmony, made simple plans: to live by the sea, and to be always warm, and always together. Anton sometimes went to HIV + self-help groups, but called himself a dissident and stubbornly refused to receive treatment.

A year ago, his immunity greatly decreased, and now and then the temperature rose. The doctors insisted that it is necessary to start therapy and treat tuberculosis, which developed against the background of HIV infection. But Anton did not believe them and continued to say that he would no longer go to the AIDS center: “They keep repeating to all voices:“ Treat tuberculosis, treat tuberculosis ”. And I don't have it! " Then - severe headaches, vomiting began even from a sip of water. Maria tried to persuade Anton to go to the infectious diseases clinic, but he did not want to. As a result, they had to call an ambulance and, practically by force, take him to the hospital.

Doctors admitted Anton to the infectious diseases ward with suspicion of sepsis and cerebral edema. Then it turned out that he had tuberculous meningitis. He did not live long after that, no longer getting out of bed, then fell into a coma. On July 26 this year, Anton died of a brain. The heart continued to beat for some time.

Text: Anna Skorodumova/ Illustrations: Daria Volkova

Discrimination. Zero AIDS deaths ”. According to Marat TUKEEVA, Chief Physician of the Republican AIDS Center, over the past three years, the number of people infected by injection has decreased, but the number of people infected through sex is increasing:

- In 2008, the share of HIV transmission among injecting drug users was 60 percent, and in 2012 it dropped to 38.2. Meanwhile, the sexual transmission grew from 29 percent in 2008 to 57.8 in 2012 ”.

Experts believe that every resident of the country should be tested for HIV, since HIV has gradually moved from risk groups (injecting drug users and commercial sex users) into the environment of ordinary people who are not even aware of the danger. We hope that the stories told will make many people just think about the consequences.

First story: Newborn daughter was diagnosed with AIDS

The story of this woman, who lost her child, touches to the core.

23-year-old Marina (all names have been changed) worked in a restaurant. She made friends with one colleague. We became friends. Soon, a friend introduced Marina to her older brother. A feeling flared up between them, later they decided to live together:

- Six months later, I became pregnant, gave birth to a girl. But at the age of three months my daughter became very ill. It happened after the first DPT vaccination. The high temperature lasted for several days. We were admitted to the hospital. But this did not bring any particular changes ... At eight and a half months we were admitted to the hospital with a severe sore throat, lay for a month, but again no progress. We were discharged with a temperature. Then I literally insisted that all the tests be taken from the child. Among the tests was an HIV test. While waiting for the results, the child began to turn yellow. We were again admitted to the hospital with hepatitis. But a week later they were discharged ...

Immediately after discharge, Marina received a call from a doctor from the clinic and carefully asked her about her husband and his past. The woman did not understand what it was all about. And in the evening the doctors of the AIDS center came ... It turned out that the child had an HIV-positive status, which actually developed into AIDS. The baby has only 6 cd-cells, which are fighting for human immunity! (For comparison: at 350 cd cells, an adult HIV-infected is prescribed antiretroviral therapy.) It was no longer possible to save the child.

- If I knew that I was infected from my husband, then it would be possible to prevent the infection of the child: I would be prescribed therapy during pregnancy, and after giving birth, I simply would not breastfeed him!

Marina's doctors also gave little hope: "If the child's status is positive, then, most likely, you too ...". It also turned out that all the inquiries about my husband were not in vain: he had been registered with the city AIDS center as HIV-infected for two or three years and signed a document on the non-proliferation of the virus ...

“When my test also gave a positive result, in the evening I told my husband in the forehead that our child had HIV, but it was not a surprise for him,” says Marina. - He made an innocent face and asked: “Where from? From you, or what? ”. I had nothing more to talk to him about ... In a year and 18 days, my daughter died.

- You have not sued your husband: is there Article 116 of the Criminal Code?

- I decided that God would punish him himself. Let him live and suffer that he ruined his own daughter ...

Story two: I knew that my husband was a drug addict

Outwardly, Irina's family did not differ from others: she lived with her husband and three-year-old daughter, she was appreciated at work, she received a good salary.

But Irina knew that her husband was an injection drug addict. Quarrels often happened in the house over money, and then Irina decided to leave and, taking her daughter, moved to live with her mother. In the spring, swollen lymph nodes bothered for several days, but then everything went away. Before September I went to take tests with my daughter for kindergarten:

- In the clinic, the posters on the topic of HIV and AIDS caught my eye. I thought: since I broke up with my husband, I'll take tests for everything, to be sure. Then we left with my daughter to rest, and upon arrival my mother told me that they had called from the AIDS center.

Irina did not believe in what was happening: all hopes and plans collapsed at once:

- I was diagnosed with three viruses at once - HIV, hepatitis B and hepatitis C. I looked at the tests and did not understand what was happening. Everything was spinning in my head at once: I would soon die, whom I would leave my daughter to, what I would tell my mother ... When the doctor said that I could even give birth to a child, I looked at her like she was crazy ...

Almost seven years have passed since that day:

- Now I'm fine. But for the first three years I lived in depression, practically alone with my misfortune. Even my mother at first could not understand me: in our house everything was separate: dishes, towels ... Now she knows that HIV is not transmitted through dishes, linen and towels and even saliva ...

- You are not taking antiretroviral drugs?

- I don't need this therapy yet, as the body is still coping on its own. Several years ago I learned that there are self-help groups for people living with HIV. I went to the first lesson, thinking that I’ll cry here, I’ll tell you how difficult it is for me, but I saw guys, girls whose stories are even worse: some had already taken antiretroviral therapy, told how they were fighting the disease ...

- Has your personal life improved?

- Attention from the opposite sex has not diminished. But until I decided for myself that I need it ...

Story three: I am suing my ex

Olga met her boyfriend two years ago: he was five years younger than her. A thirty-year-old woman made plans for the future: family, child, her own home ... They began to live under one roof. Soon Olga had problems with gynecology. She was getting ready to see the doctor, and the young man, as if by chance, suggested: "Get tested for HIV." She was alarmed by this proposal, but she attributed it to his oddity. However, tests soon showed the presence of HIV in her blood:

- It turned out that he has been registered at the AIDS Center for more than two years. In addition, in a self-help group for people living with HIV, I met two girls with whom he also talked and, as you already understood, infected them. You have no idea how angry I was boiling when I found out about it. And I decided: by all means it is necessary to punish this person so that it was more discouraging to infect others. But in the district police department, where I brought my statement, they began to tell me: they say, usually in such cases they go to the world, that this is difficult to prove. Moreover, perhaps in their hearts they even laughed at me ...

Story Four: A Terrible Lesson

The story of a man in the company of these three women was a little off track, perhaps because the man understood that he had not behaved so righteously in this life:

- My name is Rustam. I am 35 years old. Many years ago I had an accident, and for a long time I had one half of my body paralyzed. Mom worked, I was lying at home a living corpse all day. From doing nothing, he began to drink, then drugs appeared. It often happened that there was not enough money for the dose, then the “compassionate” drug addicts let the bottle go around ... I learned that I had been infected after I was admitted to the hospital with hepatitis B and C. When I was discharged, the doctors called from AIDS Center ... I was registered, but I could not put up with the thought of the disease, it seemed that my life had already ended ... It turned out to be a hard blow for my mother, who was taking care of me after the accident, and here was HIV. I did not dare to tell my brother ... Three years passed before I began to accept the disease. Surprisingly, the head disease released me, and I began to walk normally. A self-help group helped. Here I met my current wife ... She also lives with HIV status.

Will live!

Oksana IBRAGIMOVA, activist of the Kazakhstan Network of Women Living with HIV itself is virus-positive. She proves every day: it's not difficult to live with a virus, but those around you still have stereotypes of behavior, fears:

- Once we conducted a survey among college students in. Most of the questions in the questionnaire - about the ways of HIV transmission - were mostly answered by students correctly. When asked if you would agree to study alongside an HIV-infected person, the majority answered: no. And then we decided to arrange an exhibition where visitors can ask any questions to HIV-infected people, and they will talk about their status with an open face. By the way, the meeting of students of the same college with a girl who told her story of HIV infection moved many to tears. So being open also means getting empathy and understanding.

According to Oksana Ibragimova, today in Kazakhstan there is also the concept of a "discount couple". This is when one of the partners is HIV-infected:

- My very first marriage was like this: my husband was not HIV-infected, but I was. We used a condom for protection. Many such couples can even give birth to children: the main thing is to know about your status. For example, a pregnant HIV-infected woman from the 14th week of pregnancy to seven months can start taking antiretroviral drugs to prevent the risk of passing the infection to her baby. Previously, such pregnant women underwent a cesarean section, now, if there are no other sexually transmitted infections, a woman can give birth herself. The risk of transmission through blood is reduced. And after giving birth, the main thing is not to feed the baby with breast milk. Then the risk of having a sick child is only 2-4 percent. I would like to appeal to our society: be tolerant of those who are sick, because trouble can knock on every house.

HIV: A STORY OF ONE INFECTION

Everyone knows that HIV infection is quite common, but for many this information remains abstract and has nothing to do with them. Today we will tell the story of one girl who suddenly found herself “on the other side of the barricades” - she found out that she was HIV-infected, and this diagnosis changed a lot in her life.

According to UNAIDS (the United Nations Program for the Study and Control of HIV / AIDS in 2013, there were about 35 million HIV patients in the world, during the same year another 2 million people were added to their number.

Of course, everyone understands that this is a serious problem, but gradually the topic of HIV has become overgrown with a large number of myths and prejudices, which is why many people think that infection threatens only those who lead an immoral lifestyle. In fact, the stories of infection vary, as do the attitudes of doctors toward HIV patients.

Olga:I learned about my diagnosis by chance - Kamil Rafaelevich Bakhtiyarov had to operate on me, before that they always pass standard tests, when the results came, it turned out that I had HIV. When Kamil Rafaelevich announced this diagnosis, I left him with the feeling that I was dying, it seemed that I would not get home - I would die on the way. Later I remembered that there were no HIV test results for a long time, but this did not alert me. I led an absolutely normal life, I had one man, I didn’t inject, so I had no idea that I could be a carrier of HIV infection.

Then I wondered how the infection could have occurred, the only assumption was during an urgent operation, which they somehow did abroad, when I had an acute attack of appendicitis.

They did not take any tests from me, and I was not interested in how well the instruments were processed - I had no time for that, I had a high temperature, I lost consciousness ... And after the operation I felt good, except that I started to get sick more often, but I and so there was always not the best immunity, so I did not pay much attention to it. By the way, most of my acquaintances girls with HIV also learned about their diagnosis before surgery or during pregnancy, and they got infected, in most cases, from their men, who had no idea that they were sick. In general, the virus can be in the body, but not manifest itself for a very long time, you can live with HIV for 10 years and not guess about anything.

What is HIV

HIV virus human immunodeficiency, affects the cells of the immune system, as a result, it ceases to cope with its functions, and the body's defense against infections weakens .

AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) gradually develops - at this stage secondary diseases appear, normally their appearance is prevented by immune cells, but in the presence of HIV, the body is no longer able to resist. The immunodeficiency virus refers to the so-called slow viruses (lentiviruses), that is, having a long incubation period. He is depicted as looking like a depth charge used against submarines. On the surface of HIV there are glycoprotein "mushrooms" - with their help the virus "breaks" the cells of the body, integrates into them and begins to multiply. The device of HIV is quite primitive, however, it successfully penetrates into more complex cells and uses them for its own purposes. Some types of immune cells are used by HIV for reproduction, others - as a reservoir, in which the virus can be stored in an inactive state for a long time, in this case it is invulnerable to antiviral drugs - this is one of the problems of fighting the disease, and the virus is constantly changing.

Today, most research is aimed at developing drugs that block the virus at the stage of invading the cell - this direction is considered the most promising.

Olga:Many people hide their diagnosis, because people do not know what HIV is, they think that they can get infected just during communication. I myself was not in the know until it affected me personally. Also, many doctors respond inadequately. For example, a girl I know with HIV told me how she gave birth in the Ryazan region. She learned about her diagnosis when she was pregnant, when the time came to give birth, she turned to the place of residence, she was accepted, but through the back door, the doctors looked more like astronauts - in sealed suits, their faces were covered with masks. She was placed in some special, separate box ... In general, there was a feeling that she did not have the human immunodeficiency virus, but, for example, the plague. That is, some kind of terrible disease transmitted by airborne droplets. In fact, of course, this is not the case, and competent doctors know that HIV is transmitted only through blood or through secretions. There is, of course, the expression “the plague of the twentieth century,” but it is figurative, describes the prevalence of HIV, and not what you can get infected by touching a person. But, unfortunately, some doctors behave as if it is literally the plague.

How HIV is transmitted

There are many myths about human immunodeficiency virus infection. In fact, most of them have nothing to do with reality. HIV can be transmitted through unprotected sex (vaginal or anal), through oral sex with a carrier of the virus; with blood transfusion containing HIV; when using contaminated instruments (needles, syringes, scalpels and others). The virus can also be passed from mother to child during pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding.

Olga:Most of my acquaintances with HIV are afraid to go to the doctors in the polyclinic, because most often the response is inadequate. And private clinics, having learned about the diagnosis, begin to inflate prices. In addition, many doctors are afraid to accept such patients, as it is believed that they need some kind of special conditions. But, in fact, it is enough just to carefully follow the standard sterilization rules. This was not the case with Kamil Rafaelevich, he operated on me, as we planned. True, this happened about six months later, after I learned about my diagnosis. It took me this time to adapt and understand that I have to live on. Moreover, it was necessary not only for me, but also for my family to get used to it, because it is also hard for them, everyone to whom I dared to say worries on an equal basis with me - parents, husband ...

In fact, this is very scary, but if you are already faced with this, you should not despair, you need to pull yourself together and go to therapy. The first stage of taking medications was very difficult for me, my body rejected them, I was constantly nauseous ... But then it got better, now I am taking therapy, I lead a normal life, I work, I have hobbies, I can have children ...

Features of operating on HIV patients

Kamil Bakhtiyarov: Women with HIV are just like everyone else. I see no reason why they could be denied an operation, the doctor's task is to do everything possible to cure patients, regardless of whether they have any viruses in their blood or not. It is strange to even discuss this, and it is even more surprising that some doctors refuse to operate on HIV patients or treat them with apprehension. Naturally, during such operations, it is necessary to follow some rules: the doctor must put on two pairs of gloves (special chain mail, protecting against cuts and punctures, and ordinary rubber), on the face - two medical masks and goggles. In addition, today many operations are performed enoscopically (that is, through a small incision, using an optical device), in this case there is practically no chance of getting infected at all.