Scene - miniature for the prom
Scene - miniature "Cinderella" performed by teachers and parents
Author: Mila Vladimirovna Kuzmina, Deputy Director for VR, Medvezhyegorskaya Secondary School No. 1, Republic of Karelia
Dear friends, I bring to your attention a miniature sketch for the prom, which will take place on June 24th. This scene is a surprise from teachers and parents, which is a good tradition at school.
The miniature scene will be of interest to class teachers of grades 9, 11 and the deputy director for VR
Target: creating a festive atmosphere at the holiday
Task: harness the creativity of adults
Characters:
Cinderella - teacher of Russian language and literature, mother of a graduate;
Stepmother - deputy director for OIA for primary classes, the grandmother of the graduate;
Sisters: Marianna - psychologist, mother of a graduate;
Olga is a chemistry teacher, a mother of a graduate;
Herald, wizard - technology teacher
Cinderella whirls with a whisk and sings:
Believe it or believe it
There was a wonderful ball at the school.
And our Petrov was in a tailcoat
Waltz danced with me
The stepmother appears with her daughters:
Stepmother:
- Crumbs, follow me!
(Circling around Cinderella)
The Herald appears: Listen, listen!
And don't say you didn't hear:
In the Bear Manor in the first manor
June evening, number 24
A ball is given in honor of graduates
Smart youths are invited, ( sisters: This is us!)
Their venerable parents ( stepmother: Probably my children are me!)
And the wisest of the wisest are teachers!
Daughters Mariana and Olga:
Hooray! Hooray! Ball! How amazing!
(Cinderella is also happy)
Stepmother:- Cinderella, why did you jump?
Cinderella:-Ah, forgive me, mother, there will be a ball! I was dreaming ...
Mariana:- Lazy, she has time to dream!
Olga: - Cinderella, do you really want to go to the ball?
Cinderella:-Of course, the sisters are cute! At least from afar, at least through the keyhole, I can see how everyone is dancing and having fun!
Mariana mimics: at least look through the keyhole! Give Cinderella the Keyhole! Ha ha! Joke!
Stepmother:- My little ones, do not argue! No need to offend Cinderella. Cinderella, you will go to the ball if you complete this little, little task. Crumbs, follow me!
(gives Cinderella a small leaf folded like an accordion)
Cinderella reads:
1. Re-read the literature for the course of grades 10-11
2. Run a cross, go a distance on skis
3. Study the history of ancient times to the present day
4. Pass the exam
- What should I do?
What do i do?
Do not resolve everything now!
Wizard: I'm not a magician, I'm just learning! Dear Cinderella, you will definitely get to the ball, because all these tasks have already been completed for you by our guys!
Adults and children sing a song to the tune of the song "You know, there will still be!"
author of the text Bogdanova N.V. - teacher of Fine Arts and MHC
You know, there will still be!
We will build a wonderful city for people.
Everyone will be a cup full of the house
And skill and work.
May wealth be added there
Let's not forget love and brotherhood,
And contentment and scope
Will be in souls and minds.
May from all corners of the earth
Our ships sailed to the port!
So that for hard currency
We were able to buy the goods!
You understand me?
So that everyone knows for sure
That as a person he is not small,
What does it contain, you know
He has potential in himself,
For the sun to shine
So that there is enough for everyone,
So that in the laws all my life
A man could have believed!
So that we will descendants more than once
Demonstrated class!
So that they are not offended
For our city and for us!
Everything one line at a time:
I believe it will still be!
We will give happiness to people!
We are all responsible for the city:
Both adults and children!
These funny scenes about school quickly and imperceptibly grew today from a children's anecdote about Vovochka. I remember only one and often smile from him:
Teacher: Little Johnny, who took the Bastille?
Little Johnny: I don’t know, I didn’t take it. Honestly.
Today again there was a reason to remember)) Then I thought: what else can Little Johnny take or do? I began to compose, and then off we go. And these funny scenes about school and teachers were born, which can be played as a whole, as one, or can be split into several small school scenes. I will describe the whole thing.
Scene
School class or school assembly hall
Characters:
Pupils: Little Johnny, Anya, Lyudochka, Sasha (boy)
Jury members:
Director of the school Vasily Petrovich
Language and Literature Teacher Nina Ivanovna
Chemistry teacher Inna Sergeevna
Geography teacher Boris Ivanovich
History teacher Tamara Vasilievna
Physical education teacher Bogdan Dmitrievich
Mathematics teacher Raisa Zakharovna
Scene props
A table for the director and teachers, if there is, then for the students
Chairs for all participants
Notebooks - each student in the hands and on the table in front of the teachers
Glasses for sight - at the director
Whistle or stopwatch on a long tape (hangs around the neck of the physical education teacher)
A lady's bag with valerian tablets in it.
clothing
Pupils are dressed like your school.
The teachers are in business suits, the physical education teacher is in a tracksuit.
Action scene.
Children sit at their classy tables (or just on chairs if there are no tables), each holding a notebook.
The teachers and the school principal sit at a table (or two tables arranged in one) facing the students, as the jury usually sits. The chemistry teacher sits on the edge, closest to the exit - she then runs away.
Nina Ivanovna rises and announces in a joyful voice:
Dear friends! Let me remind you that recently our entire school wrote an essay on the topic "My most beloved teacher." Today we are choosing the winner of the competitive essay out of 3 previously selected finalists. (She looks at Vovochka and the intonation changes to strict.) Little Johnny, why did you come? Your composition, in general, did not exist!
Little Johnny:
So I finished it, and now I'll read it!
Nina Ivanovna:
No, this will not work, you did not participate and you can go home.
Little Johnny:
Nina Ivanovna, do we have a democratic state or not? Or do you want me to stage a demonstration “Freedom of Speech Vovochka” around the school tomorrow?
The principal and teachers begin to whisper loudly:
Nina Ivanovna, let him stay!
Okay, Little Johnny, stay. (Changes voice to fake joyful) And I will represent our jury! (Farther announces everyone and himself too, giving his full name and position) And now the floor is given to Anya. I beg!
Anechka gets up and reads from a notebook:
My favorite teacher is Nina Ivanovna, because she is always giving me dictations to tell me where to put the commas.
Everyone begins to look askance at Nina Ivanovna, and she - nervously smile and shoot her eyes. Quickly gets up and says:
Thank you, Anya, we understand. Please, Lyudochka!
Lyudochka rises and reads, loudly and with the expression:
And my favorite teacher is Raisa Zakharovna, our mathematics teacher. She always gives me "excellent" for control tests, even if at this time I take her son home from the extended program.
Everyone turns to Raisa Zakharovna, the director angrily takes off his glasses, and Raisa Zakharovna herself reaches into her bag, takes out sedative pills and swallows a couple of pills (in fact, as if swallowing).
Nina Ivanovna jumps up and says:
Lyudochka, thanks. Let's listen to Sasha.
Sasha gets up and reads:
And my favorite teacher is our physical education teacher, Bogdan Dmitrievich. Because my parents paid for new bars to the gym, and now I don't go to physical education at all.
Fizruk begins to strenuously examine what hangs on his neck.
The director indignantly asks his colleagues:
Who selected the compositions? They weren't read at all, or what?
The teachers hide their eyes and shrug their shoulders.
Little Johnny gets up and says:
By the way, what are your options? What can Little Johnny say on this topic? Post it for the competition!
Read also others and high school students, as well as about physical exercises.
With a wish for funny scenes,
Your Evelina Shesternenko.
Interesting and funny scenes for schoolchildren. Scenes about school and about teachers.
Scene for schoolchildren.
DEAR TEACHERS!
(A play from school life)
Characters:
Morkovkin,
Senkiya,
Lastochkin.
Part 1
Leading(from students): Dear audience! I propose to declare our paramount solemn meeting open! Today there is one problem on the agenda: to decide what to do next with the school.
Students(from the seat): Right! How much can you endure!
Leading: Because we do not observe the main law of school life - "Learning should be fun!" The floor for the report is given to the main truant of the class, Zaitsev.
Zaitsev: Why am I skipping? Because my body requires sleep. Moreover, in a comfortable environment. I don't get enough sleep on my desk. And then, there are such indelicate teachers who wake up at the most inopportune moment. I personally think this is a disgrace!
Lisitsyn(from the seat): Don't wake you up, so you fall on your neighbors! On the contrary, I think the main problem is that the lesson is too boring! There should be loud music, a disco there, something like that!
Leading: I ask you to follow the rules! And you, Lisitsyn, do not stick your head out until you have been given the floor. Go on, Zaitsev. What are your constructive suggestions?
Zaitsev: I have such constructive suggestions. Since we are forced to go to this school, we must create human conditions. At least clamshells, or something, put it on! And, please, protect from all Lisitsyns. Let them study in the other wing, since they need music and rumble! Personally, I don't need it.
Leading: So you are for separate training? There is a grain of reason in this. Secretary, write it down: clamshells and split tuition. Who wants to add on the merits? Morkovkin!
Morkovkin: I personally do not like the fact that our health suffers at school. Do you know the statistics? Continuous scoliosis and gastritis. Lisitsyn is right - if not dancing, they would have made a pool in the assembly hall, or something. And we need a normal human restaurant with normal healthy food so as not to ruin our stomachs here. Kebabs there, ice cream. Chebureks. The list can then be compiled.
Leading: I think no one has any objections. (Turns to the secretary.) Write down: a restaurant instead of a canteen, a pool instead of an assembly hall. I would add a tennis table to each class. Who is next?
Raccoons: We are not talking about that. After all, these are all peripherals. We come to school and sit in it for the best 11 years of our life, and for what? What are we being taught? Dear brothers! I look sadly at the current education system. She is terribly far from the people. Therefore: attention! The school urgently needs to open additional courses in extremely important disciplines. They will study the things that are really necessary for the survival of the student. For example: the best way to cheat, the best way to distract the teacher in the classroom, how to promote money for parents, how to minimize the school load, how to spend school time pleasantly and profitably.
Leading: I personally respect Enotov because he knows how to think not only constructively, but also within the framework of reality. Since we will be forced to serve this term anyway, we must spend it with minimal losses. Secretary, please write down Enotov's speech almost word for word! I invite everyone present to think at their leisure what disciplines we really need. So. Next question. What do we do with teachers? Goshkin will make a presentation.
Goshkin: I really watched here, but they, it, in nature, are generally moribund. They call it all sorts of rubbish, my dad ate half a pack of analgin yesterday after he tried to solve my math problems. His mother then knocked down the pressure. And they are yelling! Why yell? Well, I blurted out yesterday that Vilnius is a kangaroo breed, so what, who feels bad from this? I suggest that everyone who yells and begs at home should be kicked out of school.
Koshkin: And who will be left? You, Goshkin, are wrong in principle. It is necessary to work with the material that is. Do not drive out, but reeducate!
Senkina: And I feel sorry for them! We must also endure! You, Koshkin, especially! Who yesterday in the dining room threw a cockroach into my compote? To re-educate and re-educate you yourself!
Goshkin: Ha! It's a pity! Take pity on yourself! They are generally our class enemies, one might say!
Leading: Let's go without class segregation, please. Go on, Senkina.
Senkina: No, really, just think. By 8 am every day. Especially you will not skip, because adults have even stricter troubles on this score. We tolerate them one at a time, they put up with thirty of us at once. Imagine, Goshkin, that you would have to communicate with thirty teachers for 45 minutes! Horror! Here only from Redkin and Fedkin you can go crazy - not only yell, but start biting! This is any of us, just about, they are over the head with a briefcase - and you can relax for fifteen minutes. And such methods are prohibited for teachers.
Koshkin: And my father says that everyone chooses their own destiny. Nobody forced them into school. Unlike us, by the way. Since they have already come, let them endure.
Senkina: Good reasoning for you! And she, perhaps, was a snotty girl when her parents persuaded to go to ped. Do you know what kind of ancestors are ?! You can't really argue. And now the old one is to learn in a new way, but she can’t do anything else. Your mother over there works as a cleaner, has she dreamed about it all her life?
Koshkin: And where will she go with three children? She might have gone to study, but who will support her?
Senkina: So are the teachers. They got into a mess once, and now they endure with their last bit of strength. And we, in turn, must show humanity and not get angry, like you, Goshkin, but find ways to improve relations and influence gently, delicately.
Leading: Okay, Senkina, everyone understands. You are smart, in short, your task is to organize classes to study teachers and to correct their behavioral stereotypes.
Lastochkin: Or maybe we should arrange a vacation for them? Let them rest a little, at the same time they will grow kinder.
Leading: They would be happy, but who will allow them? They have the same attendance, program.
Lastochkin: Why can't we teach ourselves a lesson? Let them slowly wander to school, sit on the back desk, and we will all scold what is supposed to be there. And let them relax for at least a week or two. And it really hurts to look at some of them - they are so twitched, crying in a madhouse.
Leading: Personally, I don't mind. Who agrees? We write it down. How will we present it to them?
Senkina: Let's think of something!
Leading: OK. I think we have had a good meeting today. Will be working.
Everyone leaves.
Part 2
There are two on the stage - the Host and Senkina.
Leading: Dear teachers! We are awfully happy to congratulate you on the upcoming Teacher's Day! On this solemn day, we want to tell you how dearly we love you and how grateful you are for everything you do for us.
Senkina: Dear teachers! We know how tired you get from your hard work. Therefore, we have prepared a surprise for you. We are in a hurry to please you! For the next two weeks, you do not need to prepare for the lessons! Because we will lead them for you ... we! And you will quietly and calmly rest on the back desks. Like your laziest students.
Leading: And we promise not to shame you, not to call your parents to school.
Senkina: Don't clutter your heads with overwhelming tasks.
Leading: Don't find fault with your appearance.
Senkina: You may even be late!
Leading: And skip classes!
Senkina: No, we, of course, will try to make it interesting for you in our classes. But we will not slavery!
Leading: And we also wish you all:
Everything(in turn):
- Happiness!
- Health!
- Energy!
- Courage!
- Have a good mood!
- Able pupils!
- Responsible parents!
- Loyal administration!
- Optimism!
- And a big salary!
Everything(in chorus): Happy Holidays!
Boys in fluffy skirts come out, dance the cancan and sing a comic song to a melody from an operetta.
You can't live without a school, no.
In her the happiness of life,
In her fate is the dawn.
Teachers teach us here
Me, you, you, me.
We are connected with one destiny.
Since childhood, we come here with you,
School has replaced our home
We go here every day.
We congratulate you on this holiday,
With all my heart and soul now
We will both play and sing
How fun we live.
We will both play and sing
About how fun, how happily we live.
Scene for schoolchildren
THEATER RING SHOW
There are two teams on the stage. In front of one is a sign on which “Parents” is written in large letters, in front of the other - “Teachers”.
Leading: Attention attention! Our microphone was installed at the parents' meeting of the N-th school. Team of teachers versus team of parents. Who will win? So, dear fans, who are we rooting for? Yes, my parents, but I feel sorry for the teachers too ... So, let's start!
1st teacher: Dear comrades parents! We have invited you today to report on new outrages perpetrated by your children.
1st parent: Dear fellow teachers! Our houses stand next to your school, and we see with our own eyes what your students allow themselves.
2nd teacher: Your children.
2nd parent: Your students.
3rd teacher: I wonder who brings the frogs from the house and makes them croak in class?
3rd parent: And who makes children saw the legs of chairs at home, allegedly doing their homework at work?
4th teacher: But what if you do all your homework for your children?
4th parent: You ask stupid tasks and want the kids to get smarter from it!
5th teacher: Aha, but how wise you are! And who gives out prizes to children for a good mark? I only wonder how many of our fives are enough for your pay?
5th parent: And our calculations with children do not concern you.
6th teacher: Have you seen what your children did to the walls of the school?
6th parent: And who taught them to write?
7th teacher: And sloppy!
7th parent: Look at your school! And in general, it is high time to organize a parking lot. And then you come for the child, there is nowhere to park the car.
8th teacher: Just about, it would not hurt for a long time to help the school in the improvement of the territory.
8th parent: Your students ...
9th teacher: Your children!
Leading: Stop, draw, the question remains open.
At the end of May 2019, at the holidays in honor of the last bell, students traditionally congratulate their teachers. At the festive concert, poems and songs in their honor are sung, excerpts from performances and funny miniatures about teachers are performed.
As a rule, these are small dramatizations from the life of a school or college. You can put in a funny number that demonstrates the situation that actually took place in this class.
Funny scenes about teachers on the last call
The first funny school scene about teachers takes place in the classroom.
Teacher:
- And now I will prove to you the Pythagorean theorem.
The student from the back:
- Is it worth it, Ivan Ivanovich? We already believe you!
***
In math class, the teacher asks:
- Which is more - hypotenuse or cathetus?
Student:
- It depends on how you put the triangle.
***
Teacher:
- Children, how old will the 7th 8 be?
Students (in chorus):
– 78!
Teacher:
- Yes? And how much will the 8th 7 be?
Students:
– 78!
Teacher:
- And why?
One of the students:
- So the product does not change from the permutation of the factors!
Several funny scenes that can be put on for the last call are devoted to the relationship of teachers with the parents of students.
***
Teacher:
- So, Ivanov, answer, how much is twice two?
Ivanov:
- Oh, answer yes answer. What am I to you, answering machine? I will only answer in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher:
"Then tell me, what is your father going to do tonight?"
Ivanov:
- Drink kefir!
Teacher:
- Very good. I'll come to you!
Ivanov:
“Don’t, he’s not enough!
***
Little Johnny is talking with the killer dad.
- Dad, the teacher calls you to school!
Father:
- Son, is she young or old?
- Young!
- It's good!
- What is so good here, she should live and enjoy life, but here ...
***
In another funny miniature about teachers, the teacher says to the student's father:
- I am outraged! Your son fired a slingshot again in class.
The father makes excuses:
- Well, you know, this rascal has again lost the Colt, which I gave him for his birthday.
***
Teacher:
- Petushkov, you finally learned to count to ten with difficulty. I can’t even imagine what you’ll become after school.
Student:
- Boxing judge, Ekaterina Sergeevna.
***
The next dialogue takes place in a literature lesson. Children finish reading the story:
- And I was there, honey, drinking beer, flowing down my mustache, but did not get into my mouth.
Teacher:
- What do you guys think is the moral of this tale?
Petechka:
- You need to shave more often.
***
The action of another scene in which the teacher takes part takes place in a history lesson.
Teacher:
- Who is Chapaev?
Little Johnny:
- This is the leader of the negroes!
- And why is that?
- Well, you yourself said that he fought against whites.
- Chapaev - the leader of the red!
- What, the Indians also participated in this massacre?
***
Another conversation takes place in history class.
Teacher:
- Petya, what do you know about Ivan Susanin?
Student:
- Ivan Andreevich, I know one thing for sure that his geography teacher was unimportant!
***
The following funny miniatures are dedicated to the teachers themselves.
Teachers ask:
- Name three reasons why you love your job.
- June July August…
***
The principal and the young teacher who came to get a job at the school are talking. The director asks:
- Hello, young teacher! Do you have references from your previous job?
Teacher:
- Yes, I was advised to look for another school.
***
A woman comes to the director of the circus - a small, frail, with glasses - a divine dandelion. She says:
- I want to be your tiger tamer!
Director, holding back a smile:
- Well, you see there, in the cage, the tigers are mad, go and calm them down.
The woman calmly enters the cage and howls:
- Well, creatures, sit still!
The tigers squatted on their hind legs in surprise.
The surprised director asks:
- Did you behave like that at your last job?
- Yes, but I also added something.
- What?
- ... sit still, eleventh "B" ...
***
The school principal calls the teacher and asks:
- What are your parents complaining about you, dear?
Teacher:
- On me? And what for?
- And you give some grades incomprehensible to the students. Here, take a look.
The director puts a stack of notebooks on the table.
The teacher, flipping through them:
“My students wrote this essay on the topic“ How I spent this summer ”. Well, how they spent - they got it. Therefore, I gave them not "3", "4" and "5", but 18+ and 16 + ...
***
On the street, a modest woman approaches a man:
- I think you are the father of one of my children ...
A man with horror:
- I AM?!
“Don’t worry so much,” the woman remarks, “I’m a teacher.
***
Another scene about teachers will be played by two female students on the last bell.
- Olya, if you met old man Hottabych, what wish would you ask him to fulfill?
- Make London the capital of Finland.
- Why?
- And I answered so yesterday in the lesson and ... got a "deuce"!
***
The teacher asks a question in the lesson:
- Why is European time ahead of American time?
Petrov holds out his hand.
- Because America was discovered later!
***
The teacher asks the student:
- Little Johnny, why are you late for class?
- Little Johnny:
- You yourself said, Anna Petrovna, that it is never too late to study!
***
In another funny miniature about a school, a teacher and several students take part.
Teacher:
- I figured out how to conduct exams. No questionnaires or tests are needed!
(There are three chairs on the stage with three students sitting on them.)
Teacher:
- So, the first question: how to extract the square root from the cubic root?
(To first student :)
- Aha! Have your heartbeat increased ?! You don't know anything - two points!
(To the second student :)
- And your pulse is beating feverishly ?! Because in mathematics - not toe in the teeth? One point!
(To the third student :)
- O! And then there is no pulse, no heartbeat !!!
Students:
- So he has been sitting like that for ten years!
- And does not react to anything!
Teacher:
- So he knows everything.
All together (in chorus):
- It's time to hand him the certificate!
You can use the teachers' real names in the script. You can also wear a wig and makeup to look more like a teacher. Choose the appropriate props and background music. And finally, pre-rehearse the sketches about the teachers for the holiday of the last call by role.
We can assure you that such a performance will evoke a lot of positive emotions in the audience and will not be forgotten by either teachers or graduates!
See also funny poems about school for kids. The advantages of our funny sketches are that they do not need costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and those who play the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be attached to a magazine), they do not need to be rehearsed for a long time. Moreover, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes by looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also see School Humor.
1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first, he will receive a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov's!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Disciple Sidorov: Because dad was urgently summoned to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Disciple Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Disciple Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word "egg", Sinichkin?
Disciple Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch out of him: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the gender of the words: "chair", "table", "sock", "stocking".
Pupil Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" are masculine, and "stocking" is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and sort out the sentence.
Pupil Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: "Daddy went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Disciple Smirnov: Dad is the subject, he left is the predicate, to the garage is ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Tyulkina's student pulls out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Disciple Sobakin: My mother works at a knitted fabric factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down a sentence.
Pupil Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys were catching butterflies with nets.
Pupil Rubashkin writes: The guys were catching butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inconsiderate?
Disciple Rubashkin: Why?
Teacher: Where did you see the bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Disciple Meshkov: What is it? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Disciple Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: What does the "cat-dog" have to do with it?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why are you eating apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, bell!
2. Scene "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Disciple: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Disciple: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Disciple: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Disciple: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Disciple: No, it shouldn't be a plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Disciple: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Disciple: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Disciple: How much is correct?
Teacher: But now I will put the correct answer to you in my diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Scene "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
The teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guiltily silent, and then made a promise to improve. "
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: "dad", "mom", "Vova", "behavior", "Vova", "promise".
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Disciple: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Disciple: “Dad and Mom”. Who? What? Parents. Hence, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. Hence, the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, and the “promise” is, of course, in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Take the diary, Petrov. I wonder what grade you would suggest to put yourself?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, the top five!
Teacher: Five, then? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Disciple: In the prepositional!
Teacher: Prepositional? Why is that?
Disciple: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I don’t know what you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the blackboard to solve the problem ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!
Teacher: Petrov, bring your diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know mathematics!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how many will it be three times seven?
Disciple Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Disciple Ivanov: But mom has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get down to business.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you cheating from Terentyev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he writes it off from me, and I'm just checking to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer me, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and class students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Pupil Petrov pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer me, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are forests in which ... it's good to doze.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Disciple Simakov: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, tell us, please, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book have you read about famous travelers?
Pupil Petukhov: "The Traveling Frog"
Teacher: Who will answer, what is the difference between the sea and the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev pulls out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from a monkey?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I'm looking at: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the lifespan of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: He will go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Pupil Meshkov (going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Disciple Meshkov: It happens! For example, Monday to Wednesday is two days, and Wednesday to Monday is five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, tell me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because I am terribly worried lest the call interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Pupil Belkov pulls his hand above everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth are the last to appear in a person?
Teplyakova's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put an A with a plus. And the question is: "Why is European time ahead of American time?"
Pupil Klyushkin pulls out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene "Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder on the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother told me to.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I haven’t even begun to tell.
Andrey (laughing): The folder ... under the arm! Good idea. Your folder won't fit under your arm, it's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy's. You have forgotten how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Oh, I guessed it! Grandpa - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, and also teaches. Now it's clear: dad's folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, you thought it great - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn't listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Moreover, he dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller he found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Scene "3 = 7 and 2 = 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: Why?
Teacher: For the whole year you did nothing, did not teach anything. I don’t know what to put in the list.
Petrov (looking gloomily at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? What is it?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanitch! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I've proven that three is seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. Hence, 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We carry out the common factors: 3 (5-5) = 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Aha! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We carry out the common factors: 5 (4-4) = 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don't worry, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2 = 5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn't matter, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Scene "Schoolboy and Salesman"
Characters: student and shop assistant
Sales assistant: What can you tell you?
Schoolboy: The reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: Not in the know.
Schoolboy: Okay ... Pythagoras' theorem?
Sales assistant:… (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales assistant: (sighing) I don't know ...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you trying to do with your “What can I tell you?” !!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"
Characters: students and the stadium informant
A group of young fans, led by the leader, loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the informant in the stadium turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnipro in cool weather"
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Ouch, deeds of power.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, schA one wick blasted this. Rolls to the shket. Give, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he lets show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how he fights. Himself with a black eye. The teacher was almost crazy, but he was great. Into the rzhaka. Cool, isn't it?
- Was there a horse?
- What horse?
- Well, that was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, you didn’t understand anything?
- Come on, let's start all over again.
- Well, let's. So one wick ...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, a long one, drove up to the shket ...
- What did he ride on a bicycle?
- No, the school had a bicycle.
- Which shket?
- Well, one shibzdik. Yes, you know him, he walks here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with anyone, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let him, he says, is great to drive. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how, sawed it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, great?
- How?
- Well, by this very, shnobel?
- No, the shnobel was at the school. And at the wick there was a fingal, he hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He had opened his mitten, so he fidgeted.
- And why a mitten, he fidgeted in winter?
- Yes, there was no winter, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a fingal, that is, with a great, no, with coils. But the very rolling thing that the great giggled.
- How did you go?
- And so, covered himself. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don’t know!
- Do you imagine if everyone spoke the way you do, what would happen?
- What?
- Do you remember, at Gogol's. "The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through forests and mountains full of its waters, it neither stutters nor thunders. You look and do not know whether its majestic width goes or does not go" and further "A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper".
- I remember.
- And now listen to how it sounds in your quirk language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, sawing its cool waves through forests and mountains. Doesn't shout, does not cover. you don’t know whether he is sawing or not. A rare bird with a schnobel will reach the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)
11. Young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl sits at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! Are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!
Suddenly, someone's hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an aged woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I AM…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.
GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). I rummaged through everything, there are no glasses anywhere. I think he swallowed them. All in your grandfather!
RAYGENOLOGIST (to the boy). Have you swallowed grandma's glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANNY. Partisan! All in your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (joyfully). Yeah, got caught! To have such a thing at home.
X-RAY GENOLOGIST (examines the photograph). Well, well, well ... you know ... he has not only glasses here, but also a wallet with money. I can't say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANNY. This is not ours, we do not need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can't watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out onto the floor.
GRANDMA (grabs glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
X-RAYGENOLOGIST (turns the wallet in his hands). Do not. But the wallet, if possible, I will keep as a keepsake.
GRANNY. This is not ours, not ours, we do not need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
X-RAYER (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Mathematics teacher: Leshy
Geography Teacher: Kikimora
Botany Trainer: Witch
Homeroom teacher: Water
SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
Well, what did he do again?
Leshy:
Multiplied minus with sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Mixed up albinos
With albatrosses ...
WITCH:
Threw apricots ...
KIKIMORA:
Threw bubbles! ..
Leshy:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with a yawn!
WATER:
But yesterday
Dragged into class
Hippo !!!
Leshy:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (oily):
Maybe give him poison? ..
Or thrown to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our century
Such measures are outdated.
Leshy:
A hundred years ago
We would have it,
Of course,
Have eaten ...
But now
We have
Not too many students
In reserve...
WATER:
Agree!
We will not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to captivate him
A good example.
SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmm ... Less, more ...
That is - more or less! ..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example will not work ...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..
ZMEY GORYNYCH:
Lock him in the closet - let him teach lessons!
And if she doesn't stop yawning ...
ALL WELL:
We will turn it
Into chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Regime of the day
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Of course! Mode ... Mode - this is where I want, I jump there.
PETER:
- Not right! Regime is the routine of the day. Are you doing it?
VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.
PETER:
- Like this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I have to walk twice a day, and I walk four!
PETER:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but violating it! Do you know what your daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Rise. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETER:
- Good.
VOVA:
- And it could be even better.
PETER:
- How is it?
VOVA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETER:
- Oh no. With this regime, you will become a lazy and ignorant.
VOVA:
- Will not work.
PETER:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regime.
PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together we get the whole regime.
PETER:
- I do not understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lift. The grandmother is doing the exercises. Washing - grandma. Bed cleaning - grandma. Breakfast - me. The walk is me. Preparing lessons - me and my grandmother. The walk is me. Lunch - me.
PETER:
- Aren't you ashamed ?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https: // site / smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej /
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists are facing each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come on together!
Pushkin and his adversary raise their pistols. Suitable for barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is well, a slow-witted! Riddles here I came across interesting about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. I, of course, guessed everything right away, and then Vovka decided to check for ingenuity.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: "Between two calls, the term is called ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is appropriate, but there should be a clue to the rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he said it was right, and then you start ...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. "The sportsman told us: Everyone should go to the sports ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? You need to buy new sneakers, otherwise my soles are already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporttovary store is right in front of the school. You saw him a hundred times too.
SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But this riddle can you guess in rhyme? "Schools are not simple buildings, schools receive ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I hardly touched the bow at Lenka Petrova's, and she banged me over the head with a book.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to one more riddle: "And today I got a grade again ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
I again got a C and C in mathematics.
SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and a slow-witted! Well slow-witted! Although ... I look, his face is sly, cunning. Maybe he was kidding me? Today is April 1st !!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello dear! ... Did our Mishka do his homework? … Yes? How is he in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room ?! Heck! Did you eat the soup ?! Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!