Forgiveness Sunday: what to answer? “God will forgive, and I forgive! And forgive me."
Forgiveness Sunday is the last day of Maslenitsa. On the Monday following Forgiveness Sunday begins Lent. This day is also called Cheese Fat Day, since today people refuse to eat meat, milk and eggs until the holiday of Easter.
This day has long been considered especially important in Rus'. After the evening service, all churches held a special ceremony of humility and repentance, during which it was customary to ask each other for forgiveness. Both priests and ordinary parishioners - all, without exception, asked for forgiveness from friends and strangers. You could ask for forgiveness simply by saying “Forgive me” or by reading certain prayers for the forgiveness of sins on Forgiveness Sunday.
Forgiveness Sunday: answer
How should you respond to forgiveness? “God will forgive, and I forgive! And forgive me." If the person asking for forgiveness has not caused you any offense, the answer to Forgiveness Sunday may be: “I have nothing to forgive for.” It was necessary to ask for forgiveness and forgive sincerely, since one should begin to fast with a pure soul, bright thoughts and a light heart, without any evil grievances or depressing feelings of guilt in one’s soul.
This ritual has survived to this day. Today, on Forgiveness Sunday, not every person considers it necessary to go to church and ask for forgiveness from strangers. If your soul does not belong to the church, there is no need to do this. However, you can sincerely ask for forgiveness from relatives, friends or good acquaintances. After all, you can inadvertently offend a person and not even notice it.
Forgiveness Sunday provides an opportunity to atone for your sins, ask for forgiveness and be forgiven. However, you should not rely on the Lord’s forgiveness and commit atrocities, hoping that on Forgiveness Sunday all sins will be forgiven. Only those whose sins were committed involuntarily or in a fit of resentment and anger can be forgiven, provided that the person sincerely repented of the offense caused and repented before the Lord and those whom he offended.
It is very important not only to ask for forgiveness, but also to forgive yourself, although this is often not at all easy to do. Anger, envy, resentment, hostility towards a person are those qualities that make us weaker in spirit, lower in soul and dirtier in thoughts. It is necessary to forgive and let go of grievances, and this must be done first of all for yourself, rather than for others.
Why do people respond to requests for forgiveness with “God will forgive”?
When a person asks for forgiveness, he does not expect condemnation and analysis of the offense he has caused. He sincerely repents and makes it clear that he is guilty and realizes his guilt. The words “God will forgive” mean that all people are not ideal, everyone is sinful to one degree or another, and highest degree Only the Almighty can give forgiveness and remission of sins. Also, these words can mean that “if God has already forgiven, then I have been commanded all the more,” again extolling the Lord and his mercy.
There is another interpretation of the expression “God will forgive.” This is how you can answer if at the moment there is no sincere compassion and understanding for the person asking. If a person does not feel that he is now ready to forgive and let go of his offense, you can say “God will forgive.” Over time, the resentment will fade away, and the one asking for forgiveness will definitely get what he wants.
Why to modern man on a certain day should you ask for forgiveness and forgive others? First of all, to replenish your peace of mind, cleansing the soul. By asking for forgiveness and forgiving someone, you begin to feel better, lighter, and breathe more freely. In addition, this day is perfect for making peace and restoring relationships with someone with whom you have been quarreling for a long time.
After which Lent begins, preceding Easter. Following the Orthodox canons, on this day you should visit the church for confession, and also ask for forgiveness from your family, friends, neighbors and colleagues for grievances caused voluntarily or unwittingly. In ancient times, when traditions were sacredly revered among the people, every believer knew how to behave correctly on Forgiveness Sunday, how to respond to “I’m sorry.” Today, in an attempt to return to spiritual origins, we have to rediscover lost knowledge.
How did the tradition of mutual repentance begin?
According to religious scriptures, in the old days there was a custom, in obedience to which, at the beginning of Lent, monks, at the beginning of Lent, went alone into the desert for a long forty days. At this time, they not only observed food restrictions, but also indulged in prayers, preparing for the Day of the Resurrection of Christ. Not everyone was destined to return to their monastery - some died from cold and hunger, others became victims of wild animals. Realizing this, the holy fathers, before setting off on a journey, asked each other for forgiveness for possible sins.
Their words were quiet and sincere, exactly as if this was the last dying repentance. Over time, a tradition arose in Christianity to celebrate Forgiveness Sunday in a special way. Everyone can decide for themselves how to respond to “I’m sorry.” The main thing is that the words come from the depths of the soul, spoken from the heart. The usual answer, prescribed in church statutes, is: “God will forgive, and you forgive me.”
Maslenitsa festivities - a tribute to pagan customs
It is not known for certain when the merger of pagan Maslenitsa and Christian Cheese Week occurred. But the church disapproves of large celebrations with songs and dances, burning of effigies, and jumping over lit fires. Often on the last day of Maslenitsa, oral and poetic wishes for health, prosperity, and a satisfying life are heard. How to respond to congratulations? Forgiveness Sunday, although it coincides with the culminating day of pagan Maslenitsa, has nothing to do with it. Therefore, you can politely wish the person who congratulated you all the best and ask for his forgiveness.
It doesn’t matter how closely you know him or what kind of relationship you have. It is easy to repent before family and friends, as Christian covenants say; to bow one’s head before the enemy is an act of humility pleasing to God.
How Forgiveness Sunday is celebrated by the church
Throughout the Raw Week, Christians must prepare for Lent, gradually renouncing worldly joys and entertainment. During this period, it is recommended to behave with dignity, asking for forgiveness and letting go of grievances to your neighbors. Only after cleansing the soul of passions, thirst for revenge, and anger towards other people can one begin the sacraments of Lent.
On the last day of Cheese Week, special liturgies are celebrated in churches, and then the clergyman comes down from the dais to ask forgiveness from his parishioners. People who come to the service bring repentance to the priest and to each other, with faith in the grace of God and hope for the eradication of all hostility. When someone comes to you asking for forgiveness of grievances, what is the correct response? On Forgiveness Sunday, you are allowed to say any phrases prompted by your heart. The main thing here is sincerity, openness and friendliness.
How the rite of reconciliation was performed in the old days
Obviously, this custom is based on the need for spiritual cleansing prescribed by the church on the eve of Lent. You can often hear the question: on Forgiveness Sunday, how to respond to forgiveness? To give a comprehensive answer, let's turn to ancient sources.
IN literature XVIII-XIX centuries you can find a description of this good Christian tradition. Before the evening dawn faded in Russian villages, people walked from house to house, asking for forgiveness from their enemies or those whom they especially often offended. Entering the upper room, the guest humbly uttered words of repentance to the hosts and with humility in his soul in a quiet voice.
This action took place in the evening on Forgiveness Sunday. The owner decided for himself how to respond to the request, but usually the words were uttered: “God will forgive, and you forgive me.” After this, the reconciled enemies kissed each other on the mouth, bowed and crossed themselves as a sign of mutual forgiveness of grievances.
How to spend the last day before Lent?
The Church does not recommend organizing Forgiveness Sunday wide feasts, and even more so drink alcoholic beverages. Guests on this day are greeted with pies or pancakes with cottage cheese, honey, jam, and sour cream. Meat dishes already banned, as during the entire Maslenitsa week. At sunset, everything is cleared from the table, and the so-called conspiracy begins.
Believers usually go to church, where during the evening service chapters of the Gospel are read and the traditional rite of reconciliation and repentance is performed. Getting angry, making a row, behaving rudely and pompously - these actions, of course, are unacceptable on any day, and even more so on Forgiveness Sunday. We already know how to respond to “sorry.” You can also say the words: “God will forgive, and I forgive.”
Cleansing the soul and body
According to folk customs, on the last Maslenitsa day it was customary to go to the bathhouse in order to cleanse oneself of moral sins and wash away bodily dirt. Drive away negative thoughts, bad memories, do not enter into conflicts, forgive all insults and insults that disturb your soul. These are the basic rules of behavior on Forgiveness Sunday. A kind heart and a bright mind will tell you how to respond to “I’m sorry.” The Gospel of Matthew says: “...if you do not forgive people their sins, then our Heavenly Father will not forgive you your sins.”
On the day of Forgiveness Sunday, if a person asks: “Forgive me,” Orthodox Christians usually answer: “God will forgive, and I forgive,” that is, thereby making it clear to the person asking that God forgives first of all, and the one who is asked forgiveness - he himself is not without sin, and judging anyone is not Christian.
That is, when a person says: “And I forgive,” he means that he does not hold grudges. After all, the one asking for forgiveness is not asking for an investigation of his guilt, not a trial against him, but makes it clear that he admits that he was wrong and now regrets his action.
When asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what should you answer: God will forgive, but a person may sincerely not hold a grudge against the offender
The one who forgives does not require any action to correct the situation or repay the debt, he simply does not judge. According to psychologist Andrei Fomin, this is exactly what Christian forgiveness is.
Dimitry Struev, archpriest, has a slightly different opinion on this matter. He believes that if there is nothing to forgive a person for, it is better to say: “There is nothing for me to forgive you for.” The clergyman thinks it's more the right option answer for reasons of not once again taking the name of God in vain, as required by the third commandment.
If the one who has not been forgiven begins to argue that he needs to answer as expected, he should be discreetly reminded that taking a formal approach to the fact that one should reconcile before fasting is a dangerous matter. Only this should be reminded meekly and with love for the one asking for forgiveness.
After all, it may turn out that there was no reason for mutual forgiveness, but because of a short verbal skirmish it may appear.
When asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, what should you answer: there is nothing worse than hypocrisy and a deceitful “I forgive”
Another clergyman, Mikhail Zaitsev, also an archpriest, offers to understand this issue more deeply. In his opinion, the worst thing is when, when asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday, people become hypocrites and remain insincere to each other in their hearts.
Zaitsev talks about two types of forgiveness that should be distinguished: the desire for the person asking to be forgiven by God and one’s own forgiveness. He gives the following example: a certain Nikolai was offended by Vladimir. He acted meanly towards Nikolai, and now he asks to forgive him.
Nikolai does not feel the strength to sincerely forgive (although he mentally understands that this needs to be done). But Nikolai at the same time believes that God will forgive Vladimir and sincerely wishes this for him, saying: “God will forgive.”
There are many examples, the clergyman believes, when a person was deeply reconciled with God, but his loved ones did not understand him and could not forgive him. When they turn to him with a request to forgive, he can answer: “I was never offended by you and there is nothing for me to forgive you for, but may God forgive you.”
The archpriest believes that you need to be more careful and try not to take the name of God in vain: the words “God will forgive”, “Lord have mercy!” and the like. People often spout these phrases without any prayerful meaning, which leads to a simple shaking of the air. Although, the priest believes, sometimes even such a “forgive” has to be rejoiced.
Priest Mikhail Zaitsev explains that when saying: “God will forgive,” one must strive to put into this phrase one’s sincere desire for the person asking to be forgiven by God. This will mean the desire for two people to sincerely reconcile before the face of God.
And for concrete example with Nikolai and Vladimir, the archpriest believes, Nikolai, not ready for forgiveness, should have responded to Vladimir’s request to forgive him: “You understand that, due to my weakness, I cannot sincerely forgive you now, but I ask God to forgive you!”
Such an impulse can bring two people closer together than a hypocritical “forgiveness” with a stone in one’s bosom, as well as pretending that everything is fine.
Illustrative photo
The morning of the last day of Maslenitsa began for many Shymkent residents with the words: “Forgive me.” Social networks are full of traditional words of Forgiveness Sunday, beautiful photographs, collages and GIFs. And often in response we receive not “and you forgive me,” but a dry, seemingly, at first glance: “God will forgive...”
Why on Forgiveness Sunday, when a person says “Forgive me!” is it customary to answer “God will forgive!”? This question is ours informational portal forwarded to Father Alexander, Archpriest of St. Nicholas Cathedral in Shymkent.
“To the words “Forgive me,” Orthodox Christians sincerely and wholeheartedly respond, “God will forgive and I forgive,” testifying that the Lord has forgiven the offense caused, and man does not hold evil,” says Father Alexander.
If a person asks for forgiveness, then he is not talking about the court, not about examining the subtleties of the offense or the situation. He simply admits that he was wrong, caused trouble and really regrets it. And the one who is asked for forgiveness realizes that debts may remain, but he is also not a judge.
“The words “God will forgive” mean that I am a sinner, I am not your judge. This is the essence of Christian forgiveness,” Father Alexander is sure. “Hypocrisy, of course, happens, and it’s worth guarding against.” How often are these holy words spoken in vain! “God will forgive”, “Save, Lord!”, we pour out without investing in them prayer appeal. But without this - the main thing, prayer - they turn into shaking the air. Although... sometimes you can rejoice at this “sorry.”
It all depends on how we forgive. It is necessary to distinguish between two facets - personal forgiveness and the desire for God to forgive the offender.
There are two different sources of forgiveness: my personal (which is also important) and God’s own. Many people have been deeply reconciled with God without ever receiving the forgiveness of loved ones who did not understand them.
“Sometimes they say to me: “Forgive me!”, and it happens that you answer: “I wasn’t offended by you, I have nothing to forgive you, but may God forgive you,” says the priest.
When saying “God will forgive,” it is important to try to put into these words a sincere desire for the Lord to truly forgive the person: “I want us to be reconciled, to find peace among ourselves before God.”
And it wouldn’t hurt to remind on this day the difference between “I’m sorry” and “I’m sorry.”
Forgiveness Sunday - shade is enough ancient tradition, when monks who want to especially highlight the fast before the light Christ's holiday, left the monastery to perform prayer works and, not knowing whether they would meet again, reconciled with each other, asking for forgiveness.
Nowadays, almost no Christians go into the desert to perform feats of prayer, but on the day before Lent, almost everyone says to each other: “Forgive me.”
"There are two similar words“I’m sorry” and “I’m sorry,” says Father Alexander. “The words have completely different meanings. “I’m sorry” means “Bring me out of guilt, make me innocent,” in other words, “Let’s assume that I’m not guilty of you.”
So, the phrase “Well, I’m sorry then” is rather not an admission of guilt, but an acknowledgment of the fact of a situation where you need to at least somehow justify yourself - that is, let’s consider what happened as if it didn’t happen.”
But the word “forgive” has a slightly different meaning - it includes the aspect of repentance. “Yes, I admit my guilt, I am guilty, accept me as I am, I will try to improve.”
And even priests argue about the practice of mass requests for forgiveness in text messages and messengers. Some believe that this is similar to the practice of sending online Valentine cards, which people send to each other for absolutely no purpose. Others are sure: asking for forgiveness is very important! And if this is a sincere step, then the form in which it is presented is the last thing...
Great Lent is coming and on its eve the Orthodox celebrate the holiday of Forgiveness Sunday - the last day of the Olivet week.
Many people know about the existence of such a holiday, but not everyone knows the meaning of this holiday, and even more so how to correctly ask for forgiveness and forgive on Forgiveness Sunday.
Forgiveness Sunday - what is it?
The last day before Great Lent is called Forgiveness Sunday. This is a holiday that ends a long preparatory period for the very strict fast. For Orthodox Christians, this is the most significant day, because without forgiveness of those who offended and reconciliation with enemies, reconciliation with God is impossible. This is perhaps the most good holiday. It personifies the main value inherent in Orthodox religion: the ability to leave grievances and not hold a grudge against anyone.
Forgiveness Sunday reminds us of the day when Adam and Eve were expelled from paradise. This is an occasion to remind people what disobedience and selfishness lead to.
The tradition of asking for forgiveness on Palm Sunday comes from the ancient monks of Egypt. They spent the entire Lent in the desert to retire there for prayer. And not everyone returned from solitude. Therefore, before the monks retired, they asked each other for forgiveness.
Forgiveness Sunday falls on the last day of Maslenitsa, which is why it is called “raw Sunday.” This is the last day when you can eat fast food. But on this day they no longer eat meat and meat products.
Forgiveness Sunday is a special day that requires the believer to great job above oneself. On this day, you not only need to go to confession in church, but also ask for forgiveness from those you have ever offended. And you need to do this in such a way that the person you offended forgives you with all his heart.
IN Tsarist Russia Great importance was attached to this holiday. On this day, the emperor himself asked for forgiveness from his subjects. He did this personally: visiting soldiers’ barracks and monasteries.
It is very important to find the strength within yourself to sincerely forgive those who ask you for forgiveness. Therefore, it is very important to know how to correctly ask for forgiveness and forgive on Forgiveness Sunday.
After all, the salvation that every Orthodox Christian strives for is possible only when a person has no desire in his heart for revenge or a feeling of guilt for his actions that destroy the soul.
What not to do on Forgiveness Sunday
It is customary for us to celebrate the end of Maslenitsa on a grand scale, with dances and songs, and in some regions they even organize fist fights. However, the Orthodox Church does not approve of such fun. Burning effigy and jumping over a fire are customs that we inherited from our pagan ancestors.
During Raw Fat Week or Maslenitsa, according to the charter of the Orthodox Church, every believer must gradually tune in to fasting, leaving behind earthly joys and calming the soul. This is a period of peace and quiet. It's a time of forgiveness, so it's important to make peace with everyone you've hurt.
Orthodox Church gives a whole week to prepare for reconciliation. So that a person can heal from mental wounds and forgive grievances. Forgiveness Sunday is a good reason to destroy hostility. On this day, requests for forgiveness cannot be ignored, much less postpone reconciliation. You cannot be at peace with God without having peace with people.
How to ask for forgiveness correctly: who and how to contact
Unfortunately, asking for forgiveness on Forgiveness Sunday has become a kind of tradition for many, such as “swimming in an ice hole on Epiphany” or “blessing Easter cakes on Easter.” Many people ask for forgiveness on this day simply because it is necessary, and not because the person really realizes his guilt. This is, of course, hypocrisy.
Forgiveness Sunday is another opportunity to pay attention to your loved ones. They are the ones we most often offend. Not necessarily with a rude word, sometimes just with inattention or indifference. Having offended, we think: “we need to ask for forgiveness,” but in the bustle and haste we forget to do this.
Forgiveness Sunday is the day when you need to stop, look back on the days you have lived and remember who and how we offended. After all, good relationships with people who are dear to us are a great value. Human life is short, and you shouldn’t waste these precious minutes on quarrels and insults.
In the morning, after prayer rule ask your loved ones for forgiveness. At the same time, it is better to ask for forgiveness for something specific: rudeness, paid little attention or refused help. The general phrase “I’m sorry for everything” is practically the same as saying in confession “I’m a sinner in everything.” In both cases, there is unlikely to be real repentance. Therefore, if you know exactly how you offended a person, ask for forgiveness for that very reason.
But often we can offend a person without even noticing it. Say something rude, brush off a request for help, or even just give an unkind look. Therefore, you need to ask for forgiveness from all your friends.
Before asking for forgiveness, try to stop and remember those moments when you were wrong. A person must humbly ask for forgiveness by saying: “Forgive me if you offended me, intentionally or unintentionally.”
On this day, the elders are the first to ask for forgiveness from the younger ones, and the bosses from their subordinates. It is very important to visit your elderly relatives on this day to ask for their forgiveness. After all, these people can go into eternal life at any moment, having resentment in their hearts, and this cannot be allowed.
Special attention you need to give to those with whom you are in a quarrel. After all, it is they who are the most difficult to ask for forgiveness. It is always easy to offend, but it is very difficult to be the first to ask for forgiveness, even if you are wrong. But this is the meaning of the holiday, to measure your pride. For humility is the main enemy of pride.
Forgiveness is asked not only from the living, but also from the dead. To do this, they visit the graves of those who can no longer be seen. After all, often, it is only when we lose loved one, we begin to understand how much we hurt him.
How to forgive correctly on Forgiveness Sunday: what to answer to someone who asks for forgiveness
When asked for forgiveness on this holiday, it is customary to answer: “God will forgive, and I forgive,” thereby you seem to testify that the Lord has forgiven for repentance, and you do not hold a grudge.
When we ask for forgiveness, we do not wait for a trial or want to figure out why this happened, but we admit that we have caused offense and sincerely regret our actions. The answer “God will forgive” means that we are all sinners, and only God can judge us.
To prevent forgiveness from becoming hypocrisy, you need to distinguish between two facets of forgiveness - the desire for God to forgive the offender and your personal forgiveness. For example, someone offended you and asks you for forgiveness, but you do not have the strength to forgive (even though you understand that this is wrong). But at the same time, you know that if this person repents, God will forgive him, and when you say: “God will forgive,” you sincerely wish this for him.
If you honestly answer a request for forgiveness from a person whom you cannot yet forgive: “Due to my weakness, I cannot yet forgive you, but with all my heart I ask that God forgive you.” Such an answer will bring you closer together than a hypocritical “I forgive you.” And of course, you need to work even harder on yourself to overcome your pride and forgive the person.
Another important point. When you come to ask for forgiveness, you must be prepared for the fact that the person will not be able to forgive you right away. The main thing here is not to fall into despair, but to be patient with the feelings of the other person. Time will pass, and he will definitely forgive you. There is no need to think: “I went to meet him halfway, but he so and so rejected me,” otherwise this will mean that you have not forgiven anyone, but were engaged in self-deception.
Is it necessary to forgive forgiveness in the church: from whom and in what words?
In the church, the day begins in the evening, so the first service of Great Lent is Vespers of Forgiveness Sunday. The fast begins with this service, and the services become longer. On this day, the rite of forgiveness is performed, through which a person gets the opportunity to begin fasting, cleansing his soul of insults and omissions, so that during fasting he can calmly focus on his relationship with God.
After the service, the clergyman of the temple addresses the parishioners with a sermon, at the end of which the first one asks for forgiveness from the people. The rector of the temple comes out with a cross, and the believers take turns approaching him, and then other parishioners with the words “Forgive me.” At the same time, answering this: “God will forgive, and I forgive.”
And even if you rarely go to church and don’t know anyone there, you still need to attend this service to begin your repentance by asking the priest for forgiveness.
Come to funeral table, light a candle and mentally ask for forgiveness from your deceased friends or loved ones whom you once offended. Venerate the holy icons. It is advisable to confess on this day in order to be completely cleansed and enter into fasting with a pure heart.
We have no right to judge anyone, only the Lord can do this, so let’s be merciful and forgive everyone’s offenses from a pure heart, for we are all not without sin.