Wake days: 9, 40 days and 1 year after death. Days of Remembrance of the Dead and saints Orthodox. Parents Saturday. Notes in post. commemoration on the day of the funeral.
Days of commemoration of the dead among the Orthodox
To commemorate a person who has passed away is a kind of mission, something obligatory, but at the same time performed without coercion - in memory of a loved one who is not around, but who will forever remain in the hearts of people who remember him.
It is customary to commemorate the deceased on the day of the funeral, which, according to Christian tradition, fall on the third day after death, on ninth and fortieth days, and also after year after loss.
Wake on the 3rd and 9th day after death
Memorial Day after the funeral is very important. Those who have gathered to see the deceased on his last journey offer up prayers to God for the reassurance of his soul. On this day it is customary to cover large memorial table(you can find out what it should be like on the page "") and slowly hold a meal, during which those present are given the opportunity to express their grief and say a few kind words about the departed person. How to issue an invitation to a commemoration - read the article. How to formulate your thoughts at the wake and what words to choose, read on the page "". 
Commemoration on the ninth day is best done in a narrow circle- with relatives and friends, - reading prayers and resurrecting in memory the episodes of the life of the deceased, characterizing him from the very best sides. On this day, you can visit the grave of the deceased, freshen the flowers and once again mentally “talk” and say goodbye to a dear person.
40 days and 1 year (anniversary)
Wake on day 40 (or forty) are no less significant than the events held on the day of the funeral. According to Orthodox beliefs, at forty the soul of a departed person appears before God and her fate is decided, where she will go - to heaven or hell. On this day, relatives and friends should prepare large memorial table and invite everyone who knew the deceased and would like to remember him. At forty, it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased and read prayers for the repose of his soul.
Memorial service for the dead
Through year after death it is not necessary to hold a wake for a large number of people, it is enough to get together behind family table
and honor the memory of the departed. However, on the anniversary of death, visit the grave of the deceased and tidy up if necessary. A year after the sad event experienced, you can plant flowers, needles on the grave, paint the fence, or, if the monument was temporary, replace it with a permanent granite or marble monument.
Do I need to go to church for funerals?
Wake for 3, 9, 40 days, as well as 1 year later suppose u Orthodox Christians holding church services. When visiting the temple, relatives and relatives of the deceased light candles, read prayers and organize memorial services. But let's add that this can be taken care of not only on memorial days, but also on ordinary days. So, you can light a candle and pray in the church if something bothers you and feelings about the departed person again flooded. You can give prayers in the temple on the birthday of the deceased, on the day on which his name day fell, and at any other time when you feel like it. You can pray on the days of commemoration at home yourself or by inviting a clergyman.
Why should we pray for the dead?
And finally. Days of remembrance should be met and seen off in good location spirit, not holding a grudge against anyone, especially a deceased person. At the commemoration, it is also customary to give alms to the needy and treat memorial dishes everyone who surrounds you on this day - neighbors, colleagues, friends.
40 days after death is important date. What does it mean and how is it right, according to Christian traditions, to commemorate the dead so that they find eternal peace and God's grace. This question is often heard from people who are far from Orthodox traditions, but if the family of the deceased wants to pay back the debt of memory and respect to a relative, everything should be done correctly. Therefore, we will tell you how to remember for 40 days after the death of a loved one.
Christians should remember dead friends and relatives not only on mourning days. True believers pray for the souls of their loved ones every minute. But there are dates when it is necessary to strictly follow the instructions of the priest. These are three, nine and forty days from the date of death.
The fortieth day is the most important for the soul of the deceased, she receives news of where she will wait. Doomsday.
But until this time, the soul is nearby, it is on earth: it sees, hears, yearns. That is why one should not indulge in grief for a long time, weep bitterly and ask the deceased to return. A person already suffers from the inability to change something, and grieving relatives bring even more confusion.
Wake for 40 days is an important and responsible event.
At this moment, the Orthodox should pray for the deceased, set the table, remember the earthly affairs of the departed to another world, visit the cemetery, put a candle in the temple for the repose. Order a prayer service in memory of the newly deceased servant of God. These actions facilitate the soul's transition to another world, help those who mourn to endure a bitter loss.
How should a believer react to the death of a loved one?
Our ancestors believed in afterlife, the entire earthly path was preparing for the transition to a new state. Modern Orthodox Christians and Catholic brothers also believe in the existence of the soul after death. After death, we no longer influence where the incorporeal shell will be determined, but relatives and friends are obliged to sincerely and fervently ask for indulgence in order to soften the Lord. Only faith, sacred words and warm memories can alleviate the fate of the newly deceased. Therefore, it is never too late to express grief and ask the Almighty for mercy. The man died, but close relatives are asking for him.
Go to church, remember kind word who is dear.
Death is a stage life path. Sooner or later, everyone will have to die. After earthly existence, there comes a period of retribution for what has been done. There is no need to be afraid of the end of life, one should be afraid of punishment for unrighteous deeds and deeds.
The meaning of the date in Christianity
Burying a loved one is hard. 40 days after death, what does the date mean and how to properly commemorate the dead - these questions are asked by people faced with death. How to express grief, organize a farewell and memorial service, what to serve. In a difficult moment, relatives are lost, they do not know how to behave properly.
There is no exact answer to the question why exactly the fortieth day is taken as the key point of the soul's farewell to the earth. But the Orthodox faith says that the power of prayer on this day is able to decide the fate of the soul going to heaven. This is the last chance given to influence supreme decision. That is why it is so important to observe the commemoration calendar.
The fortieth day is counted from the moment of death. It does not matter whether the mournful event happened in the morning or in the evening. In the same way, it is customary to count the ninth day. These dates are in Orthodox tradition are called memorial days. It is necessary to observe all the rituals and traditions so that the soul of the deceased is easy and calm.
A Christian, a baptized person is commemorated with a prayer. It is spoken in church and at home. They hold a memorial dinner, distribute alms to those in need. It is allowed to organize a mournful meal outside the house where the deceased lived.
40 is a sacred number. We can find confirmation of this fact in the Bible. So, Moses led the people in the wilderness for 40 years; Forty days later, Jesus ascended into heaven.
After death, the soul goes on a journey: for the first 9 days, it worships the Creator. Then, the angels lead her through the afterlife, show Heaven and Hell. Finally, God announces a verdict regarding her continued existence. After making a decision, the soul goes to permanent rest. Where awaits the Last Judgment and resurrection.
There are strict requirements for the mournful dinner.
- No alcohol.
- Appropriate clothing.
- Prohibition of loud conversations and funny songs.
- You can’t take a commemoration as an occasion to meet friends and talk on abstract topics. For secular communication, find a different place and time.
- Those gathered at the table must adhere to Orthodox faith. Only they can help the soul of the newly deceased.
Remember, wakes are not gatherings of old friends. You can’t turn a commemoration into an ordinary feast, this is a sin.
Praying for the deceased should not only be on mourning dates. It is necessary to turn to the Lord with requests starting from the first minutes of death. So it will be easier for the soul to find peace.
Main dishes of the funeral table
The funeral meal is simple. The rules are tightened when she falls into office. But even if there are no restrictions on this day, give up meat food. cook meatless dishes: vegetables, fish. You can not donate fast food to the temple.
For the church table they bring products such as cereals, bread, vegetable oil. They bring milk and eggs. Candies are suitable to please the children.
Mandatory meals at the funeral meal.
- Kutya
- Fish (baked or boiled)
- Pancakes
- vegetable salads
- Olivier or vinaigrette with herring
- Lenten cabbage rolls
Add the list of dishes, following the advice of the confessor. He will tell you what to cook for the farewell dinner.
From drinks, preference is given to jelly, kvass, traditional dried fruit compote.
Important! Ignorant people leave vodka on the grave. The Orthodox Church categorically forbids following the barbarian custom. In a faceted glass, which is placed near the photo of the deceased house, water is poured, not strong drinks. Do not forget about traditions and stop attempts to mix pagan rituals with Orthodox canons.
Memorial words
In order to properly commemorate the deceased, a few words should be said about him. It is customary to make speeches at a mourning dinner. But it would be better if those gathered at the feast honor the memory of a friend and relative with a moment of silence. A sad meeting at the memorial table is a time of memories: tell us how wonderful person there was a dead man, what he loved, what virtues he possessed. Event Tips:
- The mourning speech is delivered standing up.
- The leader is chosen by a person close to the family. He must be collected and keep the situation under control. Do not succumb to emotions, be able to calm inconsolable relatives.
- The master of the ceremony thinks over the speech in advance, preparing soothing phrases in case the words are interrupted due to sobs.
Speech at the wake is always short so that everyone has the opportunity to speak. It is important to remember that death is not forever. The soul of the deceased has passed into a new state. demise loved one a serious test, but try to distract yourself from sad thoughts, support friends and relatives.
The Church does not set strict time frames, but goes towards parishioners. The main thing is not to forget about the person: they read a prayer, ordered a service, commemorated in the church. If the forties fall on a Sunday or great post, then you can move the memorial dinner and exit to the cemetery. This rule also applies to the year from the date of death. It can also be celebrated earlier.
Significant dates memorial calendar- three, nine, forty days, the anniversary of death.
Who should not be remembered
In the Christian tradition, it is customary to commemorate only those who died from natural causes. Who is not yet called in prayers:
- suicide
- People who died or committed suicide while under the influence of alcohol or other intoxication
- apostates
- unbaptized
- atheists
- Gentiles
An exception is made only for those whose death occurred due to clouding of reason. People whose minds have been damaged by illness are not excluded from church sacraments. They are buried, prayers are offered over the body, they are commemorated in the temple. This is due to the fact that a person who went crazy did not know what he was doing, which means that there was no malicious intent.
Life is a great gift given by God. When a person neglects it, then he loses the right to church commemoration. Voluntary departure can mean only one thing - eternal torment and suffering of the soul.
For suicides, they don’t put candles in the church, they don’t order memorial services. Relatives pray for them at home, privately. They distribute alms and ask the Almighty for condescension to the lost soul. People need to remember this whenever the thought of putting an end to suffering and troubles creeps into their minds.
Distribution of things and alms
An integral part of the commemoration is the distribution of things of the deceased for charity. For 40 days, be sure to sort out what belonged to the deceased during his lifetime: distribute memorable, dear trinkets to friends and acquaintances - this is the right and Christian act. Take clean and unworn things to the temple, offer to those who are poor. This is not an easy ritual or sign, but an act of mercy and goodwill. It will be counted both to the one who does good, and to the soul of the deceased in the next world.
Relatives leave things that remind them of a relative.
What prayer to read for 40 days
For the repose of the soul, prayers are read at home. It is not necessary to learn the words by heart. The main thing is that they come from the heart. Priests say that God hears us when we sincerely ask for help. They also say a prayer to Saint Ouar:
Oh, holy martyr Uare, venerable, with zeal for the Mistress of Christ we kindle, you confessed the Heavenly King before the tormentor, and you zealously suffered for Him, and now the Church honors you, as if glorified by the Lord Christ with the glory of Heaven, Who has given you the grace of great boldness to Him, and now stand before Him with the Angels, and rejoice in the Highest, and see clearly the Holy Trinity, and enjoy the light of the Beginning Radiance, remember our relatives and languor, who died in ungodliness, accept our petition, and like Cleopatra, the unfaithful generation of your prayers freed you from eternal torment , so remember the fir-trees buried contrary to God, who died unbaptized, trying to ask them for deliverance from eternal darkness, so that with one mouth and one heart we will praise the Most Merciful Creator forever and ever. Amen.
Whatever events happen in life, sad or joyful, people should remember that God is watching over them. Supports in difficult times, encourages, instructs, rejoices when life is getting better. This statement is first of all worth remembering when death comes to the house. In the first minutes and hours, it is important not to lose heart, to help the incorporeal essence of the deceased safely pass the trials on the way to Paradise.
Commemoration of the deceased is not a tribute to traditions or unquestioning observance Christian customs. Prayer uttered without faith is a meaningless set of words. This is painstaking and difficult work, which is placed on the shoulders of those who remained on earth. Our task is to provide the soul with a comfortable transition to another world, to give the opportunity to rest in Christ, to atone for lifetime sins.
Related material
We are all bound to die, sooner or later. This is perhaps the only thing that equalizes absolutely all people living on Earth, regardless of their nationality, social status and material wealth. But what happens after death to the human soul? Tell about the Orthodox understanding of this difficult and important issue we asked the professor of the Moscow Theological Academy A. I. Osipov
Please tell me at what time Orthodox Church permits a memorial dinner on the 40th day? The fact is that the sorochinki fall in the middle of the working week. The nearest weekend before the date is the Trinity and then Spirits Day, on which, as the priest explained to us, such dinners are not held in the temple. Is it possible to gather relatives on Saturday, May 30? Wouldn't it be too soon? My mother was told that the wake is held no earlier than three days before the date.
Dear Tatyana, Troitskaya parent saturday quite suitable for memorial dinner. During the week, of course, you will not gather people.
There are no strict rules not to commemorate the newly deceased before 40 days. The 3 days that you were told about are nothing more than a practice, there is no point in strictly adhering to it, especially in connection with the upcoming holidays.
An archive of all questions can be found
Days of wake after death: on the day of the funeral, 9 and 40days after 1 year.The essence of memory. What to say at the wake? memorial words and funeral speech. Lenten menu.
What to say at the wake
The head of the family traditionally receives the first word at the wake. In the future, the duty to follow the general conversation and gently guide its course is assigned to one of the fairly close or dear people, but still not to the closest relative. It is cruel to expect from a mother mourning a child, or a spouse who has lost his wife untimely, that he/she will be able to maintain the order of speech and at the same time cope with their own feelings. This role is chosen person who knew the deceased well enough and able in a tense moment to remember some trait of his character, a nice habit or an event from life, about which you can tell the audience.
It should be noted that the usual rules of a "social party" do not apply to the commemoration: do not try to fill the pause that has arisen in the conversation or break the silence with minor remarks - especially on an abstract topic. Silence at a wake is not only normal, but even right: in silence, everyone remembers the deceased and feels their connection with him more fully.
Funeral speech at the wake
If you want to speak- stand up, briefly describe how you remember the deceased (of course, talking only about positive features ), which made him a special person in your eyes. If you remember any case when the deceased did a good deed for you personally or for someone abstract, unfamiliar, tell about it, but do not tell stories in which one of those present appears. Everyone can speak at the commemoration, but try all the same don't make your speech too long: after all, many of those present are already having a hard time.
You may not know exactly how to "correctly" hold a wake- Don't worry too much about it. The main thing in this case is sincere intention and pure thoughts regarding the deceased. When you do something in memory of the deceased with an open heart, you can't go wrong. It is important to remember only one thing: commemoration in a secular sense are needed to a greater extent by the living than by the deceased: like any ritual action in our life, designed to alleviate experiences and accept the new reality of life. Therefore, when organizing a commemoration, do not forget about the feelings of those who come to honor the memory of the deceased.
As for strictly Orthodox commemoration, then here, of course, it is better to do everything in accordance with the canon, so as not to unknowingly do something unacceptable from the point of view of the ROC. It is better to find out about these rules in advance in the church - for example, when you order a funeral service.
After the death of a person, the time comes for the burial of his remains to the earth. There they are to rest until the general resurrection. However, the care and love of the Church for its children does not end there. On certain days, the clergy pray for the dead and make a sacrifice for their repose. special days 3, 9 and 40 days after death are considered for remembrance. What is the commemoration of the dead in 40 days, how to commemorate the dead correctly? This procedure must be consistent with church teachings.
How to commemorate the dead in 40 days
The fortieth day after the death of a person is considered the most crucial date, since it is then, according to the canons, that the soul leaves the earth and receives a verdict on its future location. She is no longer able to change the situation, but relatives are able to help.
On this day, you should pray earnestly to ask the Lord to show mercy and make a just decision. To save the soul, relatives should give up some of the sins for a while. What does it mean? For a while, you should stop watching TV, listening to music, smoking or drinking. Such a refusal will bring benefit and consolation to the deceased.
Unshakable traditions
Commemoration is considered an important tradition, and it is important to conduct them correctly. Religious people must be present at the funeral. As a rule, 40 days are celebrated with a dinner with a simple lean kitchen without cooking gourmet meals. An obligatory dish of the funeral table is kutya as a symbol of the rebirth of the soul. Before trying dishes on the table, people always eat at least a spoonful of kutya.
In no case should a wake be a joyful occasion to meet with relatives and friends. Fun is not allowed here. On the fortieth day, they certainly go to the cemetery to bring flowers and a candle to the deceased. Laying flowers on the grave is considered a sign of respect and great love, and also symbolizes the severity of the loss.
For all forty days, mourning is held for the deceased (simple dark clothes and restrained behavior). Preparation for organizing a wake should be based on concern for the deceased and their needs, and not on the choice of menus and colors.
According to the tradition of Orthodoxy, on the 40th day after the death of a person, you can distribute his things to those in need with a request to pray for his soul. Things that do not remain with relatives as a sign of memory should be taken to the church.
Order about the deceased church memorial service consisting of prayers. All those who pray ask God's mercy and absolution for the soul of the deceased. During the memorial service, all those gathered should stand with lit candles. Candles are a sign that people believe in a bright life after death. At the end of the memorial service, they are extinguished. This symbolizes the sudden cessation of earthly existence.