Every person at least once turned to God with a request. Churched Christians do this daily, reading prayer rules (morning and evening) twice a day, asking the Lord for salvation and forgiveness of sins. Others do it sporadically, according to "vital indications." Help from above is especially urgently needed in difficult situations that are not amenable to ordinary earthly care.
Often, circumstances force us to raise our hands to Heaven, asking for God's special mercy and immediate Lord's participation. Wise people said about such situations: “As anxiety - immediately to God.”
Troubles, misfortunes, illnesses, everyday problems place an unbearable burden on a person, pressing down to the ground, but making Heaven much closer. For it is precisely in such cases that everyone understands what true, fervent prayer is, and knows firsthand how it is to “pray with all your heart and with all your mind.”
Not having received instant fulfillment of the “declared requirements”, a Christian who is often weak in faith falls into grumbling and despair. Being disappointed in prayerful communion with God, such Orthodox people have a question: “Why does God not hear my prayers? Why doesn't it help?"
When the Lord really doesn't hear you?
God is a light that does not tolerate even the smallest shades of blackness, which is the sin that drove Adam and Eve out of Eden. The smallest (by our human standards) sin was enough for the first people to change the Garden of Eden to the kingdom of the prince of darkness and live in constant passions and trials.
If you arm yourself with the commandments and repulse sin on the way, then such a person scatters blackness around him and is clearly distinguishable for God.
“The prayer of a righteous man can do much”… Such a thing will definitely reach the Lord’s ears.
Living in sin and “smoking” Heaven with himself, a person who ignores the ordinances of God is hardly noticeable from THERE. Wrapped in his own sinful soot (like a steam locomotive), he can continue to wallow in life completely unnoticed, trying in vain to attract the highest attention.
What to do? There is an exit. Armed with the Commandments:
- to sift your life through their fine sieve, having carried out a total revision;
- repent for each committed sin;
- confess it before communion and take communion;
- Try very hard not to repeat what you have confessed.
And pray tirelessly. After all, prayer is like pure water that blurs the stain of sin. If the stain is small, a little “water” will suffice, and if the soul is like an unwashed robe of a laborer, much more “water” will be needed.
And what makes you think that the Lord does not hear you?
Being invisibly present in the life of a Christian, God often leads us through life, not accounting for his good deeds.
You did not take the job you wanted, and the Lord did not respond in any way to your prayer vigils about the desired job?
But after all, for numerous violations of the commandments, you, a person, could not reach the end alive and unharmed at all. pedestrian crossing. And the drunk driver was in the “right” place at the “right” time.
But God heeded the prayers and (for example) stopped the elevator, in which you sat without leaving the house, being late for the interview and reproaching the Lord for “deafness”.
Of course, the example is purely hypothetical, but if we could only know about a small part of the troubles that God's hand averted from our fates and the fates of our loved ones, we would never again dare to grumble treacherously.
Is what you're asking helpful?
Trust the Lord for everything. How often did it happen that from the standpoint of the past tense, a person was convinced of the futility of his desires.
Although the measure of my suffering is overflowing, I do not believe in the forces of providence that send help or illumination in such cases. I do not believe in mercy from heaven and do not believe in punishment for my offenders without my participation. I don't believe in the supernatural - I don't believe in God. And I do not think that the spiritual beginning of people is associated exclusively with religion and faith in some kind of saint.
I believe in my desires... My desires are the foundation of my universe. My desires were born along with me. And only they can be Desires with a capital letter. The desires of others are of little interest to me.
I do not replenish the army of "defeatists" with a healthy desire for revenge - the temporary burden of resentment does not violate my inner harmony and does not deprive me of the joy of life. I am not going to forgive evil and, seeing that my offender has already been punished by life, I will finish him off in cold blood and methodically.
I hope that appearance my offender, fairly battered by life, will not pity me, will not fetter my will, and I will be consistent in my desire to take revenge. I hope that no explanations, persuasions, pleas and appeals for mercy will crush my own moral and ethical standards, and I will be merciless to my offender. These are my hopes. And I live by them.
I do not feel a thirst for revenge, as something debilitating and all-consuming ... I am waiting in the wings. And my hour will come. Hope it comes. These are my hopes. And I live by them.
I love life very much!.. I love those moments of feeling of happiness that I create myself. I also love those moments of happiness that life gives me. I love my family, my friends dearly, and I hate my enemies fiercely. I admire the beautiful and hate when they interfere with my life. I hope that my mind will not be clouded and I will not start to love all the people on planet Earth. These are my hopes. And I live by them.
Someone believes that without kindness there is an inevitable loss of morality. He thinks it's very dangerous. And he calls to fight against this "evil"... Just try to be unkind - in an instant very "kind" people will do away with you! If you stay alive, will you become a highly moral person? I hope this fate escapes me.
“Hurry to do good?” ... No, “Don’t do good - you won’t get evil!” This is all well and good in books. In real life, the exact opposite often happens. And I need to be exactly the same - different to opposites: with good people do good, do bad with bad. And what is good or bad is up to me to decide. Hope I don't change my rules.
God was invented by people in order to somehow explain what is happening around. And everything inexplicable at the moment is temporarily attributed to him - to God. As soon as an intelligible interpretation of the “divine” phenomenon is found, this phenomenon will immediately become “human” for a long time. And the locksmith needs “God's help” only when he is about to unscrew a tightly screwed nut without a wrench. Hope I don't lose mine spanners literally and figuratively.
The classic of the genre claims that in Christmas stories, a miracle happens because the measure of the hero’s suffering is overflowing and God sends help or insight when hope fades and leaves him. Hope for a miracle is fragile and unreliable. Such hope leaves first. And while waiting for help from heaven, you can die “several” times.
Already used to rely only on himself. I focus on my priorities - not divine ones. I hope for my knowledge and skills, for my moral principles, for my understanding of life...
These are my hopes. And I live by them.
The publishing house "Nikeya" published a book by hegumen Nektariy (Morozov) "What prevents us from being with God." It developed from parish conversations that the priest, being the rector of the Saratov church in honor of the icon Mother of God“Assuage my sorrows,” led for several years. We present to your attention a chapter from the book.
We all ask God for something in one way or another. We ask in different ways and in different occasions. We ask when we find ourselves in some difficult life situations and circumstances when we especially need God's help; sometimes we ask God for something, finding ourselves in a situation where, apart from Him, no one can help us; sometimes we ask Him for something when we should have done something ourselves, but we don’t feel like doing it.
And of course, every day, if we read morning and evening prayers, if we go to church, we ask for the most important thing - we ask that the Lord have mercy on us, save us, we ask that He give us everything we need for our earthly life. and for our eternal well-being.
When a person expects something from God, then, firstly, the fulfillment of this petition is very important in itself, and secondly, it is very significant for us, as a response to our prayers, as evidence that God really it is that He hears us, that He is merciful, and according to His mercy and love fulfills our petitions. And at the same time, one almost constantly hears the question: why do I pray, but the Lord does not fulfill my requests? Why do I pray and the Lord does not seem to hear me? This is what I would like to talk about a little.
Firstly, probably, before judging whether the Lord hears us or does not hear and He is merciful or unmerciful because He does not fulfill our requests, it is sometimes necessary to figure out: are we really asking for what we useful, what we need, what will be good and not harm? It often happens that we “beg” something from God out of passion, out of foolishness - and at the same time we want the Lord to fulfill our prayer at all costs.
Of course, a church person who has some experience Christian life, most likely, will not ask for something that is directly sinful and harmful. He will not demand that the Lord take revenge on someone for him, he will not seek the Lord to help him satisfy some shameful passion; will not pray for what is a manifestation of covetousness, avarice, vanity. And yet, even if sometimes we ask God for some things, at first glance, pleasing to God, we must always think: is this really useful to us at the moment?
Sometimes we ask the Lord to give us the opportunity to live calmly, sorrowlessly and indulge in the exploits of Christian piety without interference - so that neither our loved ones, nor our neighbors, nor any circumstances of our life, nor work interfere with this. And the Lord does not give us this, and if we try to understand why, we will understand that just everything that is a hindrance reveals a certain intention, aspiration of our heart: do we really want what it “interferes with”? And if we want, then all these obstacles can be overcome.
And besides, the property of obstacles is such that by overcoming we gain experience, acquire Christian courage and become skillful in the spiritual life.
If the Lord Himself removed the obstacles that are in our way, then what would we have to do? Receive "prepared salvation"? But it does not happen like that, because we must prove with our whole life that we are really looking for it, we are thirsty. This salvation should become for us, as it were, “native”, “ours”. And for someone it really becomes native, but for someone it remains something else.
And of course, what we sometimes perceive as hindrances is often what the Lord would not want us to pass by. So, for example, we very often consider people to be “hindrances” - people who ask for something, people who talk about something, people who demand attention to themselves, but in fact our salvation is through these people and is accomplished. Here is just one common example of why the Lord may not answer our prayers.
And there are actually a lot of such things, things that we expect from God and which we don’t really need or are even contraindicated at the moment. And therefore, it may be necessary to ask, but at the same time we must trust God and hope that His wisdom and love will help us choose what is really useful for us and not give us what is harmful.
It also happens differently. It happens that we ask for what we really need - about that essential, without which we cannot do. And again, for some reason, the Lord “does not hear” us, and for some reason does not give us this. In this case, it is always necessary to check the disposition of the heart with which we offer prayer to God.
For example, St. Isaac the Syrian says that the prayer of a vindictive one is like sowing on a stone. And indeed, if a person is vindictive, if he holds a grudge against someone, not to mention that he wishes harm to someone, then no matter how much he prays - even if he prays for hours, days, nights, days on end - this prayer will not bring any benefit, and a person will only, as they say, succeed in the worst: staying in such a prayer and not understanding that between him and God is his desire for evil to another person, he will harden and come to an even worse state.
But not only vindictiveness, but also every other passion with which a Christian does not want to fight, which he loves, which he accepts, which he does not reject and does not tear away from his heart, also stands between him and God, like a wall, when he sets about prayer. It’s one thing when we pray with awareness of our passionate state, when one of us says: “Lord, I understand that I am a sinner in this and in that, and I ask You to help me cope with these sins, but In addition to this, I also ask for what my heart requires at this moment.
Another thing is when we leave everything that God Himself considers paramount, that is, the struggle with passions, and ask for something that worries us, forgetting that in our life, let's say, worries God. In this case, our prayer is also very often left unanswered.
There is another reason why the Lord does not fulfill our petitions. But here, perhaps, it is necessary to speak about those cases when we pray for something, although necessary, but nevertheless worldly. We ask the Lord to heal the disease, help us in some family or work circumstances.
Sometimes it happens that some believing people ask for this as something taken for granted, while other people, also church life living, they say: is it necessary to ask God about this? After all, this is not something necessary for our salvation, and, probably, we just need to try to acquire what we need, cope with what we need to cope with, get rid of what we need to get rid of, if we are talking about any then life's questions. And do not worry about this God. What is the right way to judge here?
Rev. Isaac the Syrian says that our prayer should be consistent with our life. If something worries us, then this something that worries us must necessarily turn into a reason for prayer. If we can not worry about something - for example, if we are sick and do not worry about it at all - perhaps we can not pray about it, but simply thank God for sending us this illness. If we live in poverty and also don’t worry about it at all, perhaps we can not pray that the Lord would send us a job or someone to help us. But more often it is different. We are faced with some kind of worldly test and come into confusion, and into a state of sorrow, sadness. And if so, then it means that it is necessary to pray to God.
And it happens that a person prays earnestly, but help does not come and nothing in life changes. And again he asks the question: “Lord, where are you and why don’t you answer my prayer? Or am I worse than all people? From such a thought, a Christian sometimes comes to a state not of humility, but of despondency. And sometimes some other, worse thoughts creep into the heart of a person.
And the reason for the non-fulfillment of the petition here is often the same: the Lord does not give what is asked for, so that we do not become like those same lepers who, having been cleansed, immediately joyfully went about their business and did not return to give thanks. The Lord knows in advance our ingratitude, our frivolity, and knows that, having received what we ask, we will immediately step aside from Him, or, at least, we will no longer pray as fervently.
And for this potential ingratitude of ours, the Lord leaves us to remain in a state of petition, because this prayer itself - the prayer of petition - already brings certain benefits to our soul. And at the same time, ungrateful abandonment of prayer after the fulfillment of the request could cause us terrible harm.
The same St. Isaac the Syrian says that there is no such gift that the Lord would give to a person and which would later remain not multiplied, except for that gift for which a person is ungrateful. The Lord is ready not only to give, but also to give much more than He once gave, but if we do not thank Him for what He has given, then the hand of God closes, as it were, and we no longer receive anything, so that what we received does not turn into condemnation .
And therefore, when we ask for something that we need in an everyday way, we must definitely test our hearts and ask ourselves: will I be grateful to God when He gives me what I now need so much? And if we cannot give ourselves an unambiguous answer, then, probably, we can check ourselves in this way: am I grateful to people in such cases?
After all, a person who knows how to be grateful to people is likely to be grateful to God. And vice versa, a person who is ungrateful towards those people who do something good for him will be ungrateful to God in the same way.
Speaking of those mornings and evening prayers, which we read every day, and about the petitions with which we turn to God in them, then, in fact, one should probably be surprised at this. We ask, reading the daily rule, about the most important, the greatest things - about what St. John Chrysostom, St. Basil the Great, St. Macarius of Egypt and other great saints asked God, because we pray with their words. It is clear that they could not ask for something empty, vain, and prayed for salvation and for those virtues that a person needs for salvation.
And the question arises: why do we ask for this every day, but we don’t get what we ask for? After all, it is quite obvious that the saints, to whom these prayers belong, eventually received what they asked from God - they acquired these virtues not only by their labors, but also by the grace and mercy of God.
The saint spoke very well about this in his teachings. righteous John Kronstadt. He asked: if you pray to God, but at the same time you do not hear yourself, then do you have the right to hope that the Lord will hear you? In another way, one could say that our “unheededness” in prayer has its own reasons in that we ourselves do not understand and do not take the trouble to understand how much we really need those spiritual gifts that God has in morning and evening prayers. ask.
And, probably, it is very important to say about the main rule that must be kept in mind when we generally start praying to God. Saint Mios of Cilicia said that obedience is given for obedience: God listens to those who obey Him. Here, in essence, the most important answer. Our life, which is far not only from the spirit of the gospel, but even from the desire to follow in practice gospel commandments, is the greatest obstacle to God fulfilling our prayers.
And vice versa, if a person’s life is entirely devoted to fulfilling the commandments of God here on earth, then the Lord simply turns the whole life of such a person into a miracle, because He fulfills everything that he asks. You know, parents who see that their child does everything to please them - and studies wonderfully, and cleans the house, and takes care of himself - as a rule, they are not overjoyed at their child and are ready to give him any gift, oh which he will ask, and maybe not even ask, and they themselves will guess that he needs it. Why? Because they are not afraid to spoil him and want to at least somehow reward his diligence. So it is with us: the Lord does not reward, either because there is nothing to reward, or because it will serve to our harm, and not to our benefit.
Well, and also, probably, we need to remind ourselves and others of such a simple truth over and over again. When we ask God for something, we never have to force ourselves to beg for something. Except, perhaps, one situation: when we ask for forgiveness and salvation for us and our neighbors. In this prayer, you can erase your knees and crush your heart, and nothing will be superfluous.
In all other cases, when we ask for something, it is imperative to add those words that the Lord Himself added in his prayer: however, not as I want, but as You. This should unite with the spirit of our prayer to such an extent that sometimes we may not pronounce these words, but they seem to be implied by themselves. And, oddly enough, it is precisely this leaving the fulfillment of our prayer to the discretion of God - our refusal to insist on what we would like to ask for ourselves - is often a guarantee that the Lord will fulfill our prayer. However, it may not perform in the way we expected.
We ask, to paraphrase the gospel words, not a fish, but a snake - the Lord gives us a fish, we ask a stone - He gives us bread. But in fact, we constantly ask for a snake, and stones, and something else more harmful to ourselves, but if we say at the same time: “Lord, not as I want, but as You want,” then the Lord gives us what what we really need.
Questions after the conversation
– Already in two spiritual books I came across this advice: when you pray yourself, you need to give God the opportunity to say something to you, that is, as I understand it, not only speak in one direction, but somehow hear the answer from Him. How can this be achieved in practice? Pray slower or what to do?
– I think that here, most likely, we are talking about the advice that Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh gave to one old nun and which was then quoted by many authors. But the fact is that this advice, misunderstood, brings significant spiritual harm to many people, because a person, following it, sometimes not only tries to let God act and speak in his soul, but begins to impatiently wait for some answer. And when a person is waiting for something like that, then, as a rule, the enemy comes and gives him what he is waiting for, or rather, what the person takes for what is expected. And thus it is easy to be deceived.
There is no need to wait for this answer, just in prayer there should be as little human "I" as possible. The Lord fills everything with Himself, except for the place that a person occupies: nothing in the world - neither plants, nor animals, nor inanimate nature- cannot "push" God out of himself, but a person can. It is only in man that the Lord constantly encounters resistance. Behind every all-night vigil we hear the exclamation: "Thou art holy, our God, and rest in the saints." What do these words mean: "you rest in the saints"? The fact that the Lord can, as it were, rest in the hearts of the saints, because the saints do not fight with Him. And we are constantly fighting with God. And when a proud and passionate person rises to prayer and asks God for something, then he has so much of himself in all this that this mass of requirements and conditions leaves no place for God in his life and in his prayer. If we leave a place for God to act in us, if we really want to do as the Lord desires, then the answer will follow - not at this moment something will be said or open, but the whole subsequent life will be an answer to this prayer.
If we talk about the advice of Metropolitan Anthony, then he gave this advice to an elderly nun, who tried not to constantly pray the Jesus Prayer, but to repeat it. And he understood that she had so much hope in the frequency of repeating this prayer, in her diligence in it, and exerted so much strength to repeat it non-stop, that, apparently, prayer as such completely left it. It was no longer the act of repentance that in essence it should be. And he said something like: stop and let God do something, and not just do something yourself all the time. And when she left this circle, in which she was spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, for a moment, her zeal and jealousy, which certainly took place, became the basis for the Lord to really calm her heart. And if you take now a “man from the street” who doesn’t even think about God, and give him the advice that Metropolitan Anthony gave to this woman, sit in an armchair, don’t think about anything, and you will hear the answer from God in your heart I don't know what the person will hear. That is why she heard that she was looking for Him all the time, but she did not know that for this she needed to be annihilated from herself, even for a moment.
- If you are praying and suddenly the phone rings, what should you do?
- As experience shows, in most cases it is best to turn off the phone when starting to pray, that is, to make sure that this choice simply does not stand before us. There are exceptions: for example, if we know that we have someone from our relatives and friends who is seriously ill and can call us at any time and ask for help. Yes, probably, then you can not turn off the phone.
If we are busy with some business - out of church obedience, at work, out of duty - and we have had time to pray, but we know that at any moment we may be required to return to business, then yes, we must also be ready to interrupt the prayer and answer the phone because we are praying, taking advantage of this free time. If we are at home and nothing binds us, then we must turn off the phone and pray without looking back at it.
- And if not the phone is ringing, but someone close to you is calling at that moment?
- As for relatives ... If something happened to a loved one in this apartment, then, of course, you need to leave the prayer and go help him. But you need to teach your loved ones that at this time you simply don’t need to bother you without a real need, that you need to respect what your soul needs, especially since the prayer time is not so long: not three, not four and not five hours it, unfortunately, takes us, but much less.
- And if during prayer you begin to remember your sins, then what to do?
– Continue prayer, praying, among other things, for the forgiveness of these sins. There is no need to rush and immediately write them down in order to confess later. It's okay: if the Lord reminds us of these sins, He will remind us even after prayer, that is, He will not let us forget about them.
Is it possible to listen to prayers in audio recordings? Now there are various CDs with morning and evening rule, following Communion…
Who are these audio recordings primarily intended for? First of all, for people who are blind and visually impaired; also for illiterate people (there are, however, few of them, but this option also suits them); for a person who lies in a state of serious illness and is unable to get up and pray; and, probably, for those people who are so relaxed that for them prayer is something impossible, and listening to prayers in the potential can gradually lead them to prayer in practice, in reality.
I have repeatedly seen people who came to the temple for the first time after watching Easter service on TV - and this, of course, happens. But in principle, if we are not blind, not sick and not completely relaxed, then, of course, we must pray ourselves. And listening to prayers in this case does not replace one's own prayer. Probably, a person who wants to know the psalms better can listen to a recording of the psalms - this will be quite appropriate. But precisely for the purpose of familiarization, and not instead of reading the Psalter. So it's better for yourself traditional way choose prayers.
- Tell me, please, if you don’t know a person, but ask to pray for him, how to do it right? It's hard when you have almost no idea who you're praying for...
- The Monk Barsanuphius the Great, when he was asked such questions, said that it was not necessary to take on a certain feat of prayer for a stranger, unknown to us, but it was enough to turn to God at least once with a petition that the Lord would have mercy on this person. If our life is such that we often pray for different people- both about acquaintances and strangers, and this is already some kind of occupation related to our life, then, probably, one can pray more constantly, but then such a question will not arise. In essence, you will fulfill the request for prayer if you pray at least once.
– Here I also have this question: how to pray? Someone asks to pray for a common friend, but you know that this friend, for example, is an alcoholic, a drug addict, a psychic. Is it necessary to take a blessing in order to pray for such a person, or can you not ask?
- I'm sorry, these are completely different things - an alcoholic, a drug addict and a psychic. As for a drug addict or alcoholic, if it is possible to ask a question about this to the priest to whom you are confessing, and take a blessing for such a prayer feat, for the sake of this person, it is better to do it.
The only thing to always keep in mind is when we pray for a person in such an abyss, the Lord can somehow demand that we answer for this prayer in our lives, because when we just pray, it has one power, and when we are ready to pray for this person, regardless of this or that sorrow that falls upon us, then, of course, our prayer has a completely different power.
As for praying for psychics, I don’t think you should take it upon yourself, and you shouldn’t even ask the priest’s blessing for it, because, as a rule, nothing good comes of it. You can simply say: "Lord, save this person and take him away from this error, but have mercy on me, a sinner." But it is not worth taking on a regular prayer for him.
Sometimes people say that God does not help them. How to ask God for help to help? The answer to this question is simple, but ambiguous - God helps everyone and always, but for this, something is required from a person.
To understand how God's help works, you need to realize that the soul in the human body comes to this Earth to develop and gain experience. And this is the main thing for which this whole world exists. God always helps when it is for the benefit and development of a person, but if the person himself is ready to start doing at least something on his own.
If he asks God for help and takes one step himself, God will take 10 steps for him. If a person asks God and does nothing himself, even one small step, there will be no help.
Imagine a picture that a person asks God for something, but does nothing himself, and God helps. Laziness and degradation instantly turn on, and God turns out to be a servant of man. In this case, it is not the development of the soul, but degradation. Naturally, in this case, there can be no help. A person himself must go to his dreams and aspirations, himself through difficulties and obstacles to achieve results, and then God will create for him all the conditions and the best circumstances to achieve the goal.
And for this you don’t even need to check a person with fame or money. All the energies of destruction are already present in a person and God sees them perfectly. He knows what a person will do with money, and what emotions he will have at the same time.
The man says, I feel joy from money, what's wrong with that? But when there is more money, pride appears on the subtle plane, destroying the soul of a person, and few can cope with this and benefit. Often this happens imperceptibly for the person himself, but these destructive programs are already in him and sooner or later they will try to come out. Like a broken car, a good knock will always come out.
How to ask God for help
Of course, you first need to understand whether your desire is good for you. If we take any disease, then it appeared for a reason, but as a result of wrong thoughts and emotions. And here you need not to ask God for help, but to understand what thought, emotion or action led to this disease. Or ask the Creator to show the sins that caused this disease. After all, if God heals you, and at the same time you do not realize the causes of the disease, then you will again carry negative destructive energies into the world, or, to put it simply, sin.
Therefore, first, full awareness and understanding, and then the first step towards the direction of the desired and the request for help from God. How to ask? From the heart in feelings. God understands feelings and emotions, not words. A person can say one thing and feel something completely different. In feelings there is a soul, and it is a part of God. If at the level of the soul you fully accept your idea, then help will come.If the mind says I want, but the soul experiences unpleasant sensations, there will be no help from God.
Some use the option when they sell a piece of their soul to the dark forces for a wish, but this is already degradation, although help may come, but not from the Creator, but from the dark forces. When a person, through various rituals, of which there are already thousands, tries to get something for himself, he just enters into a contract with the dark forces and often does not realize it. And then, why am I so unlucky in life, why is there no happiness? Yes, you sold a part of your soul in exchange for momentary desires, and now you are complaining about life. Therefore, avoid various conspiracies and rituals in which you attract something material for yourself, even if they seem completely harmless to you.
Why doesn't help come if I'm doing everything right
Here, too, everything is simple. Each person has his own supply of piety or good. Someone doesn't have it. For example, a person in past life did a lot of evil, and in order to receive his lessons for the soul, he must go through a series of trials and difficulties.
In this case, you need to accept all the problems and difficulties in life with gratitude and complete humility, realizing that this is a retribution for his past actions. The state of gratitude and humility at times speeds up the processing of the bad. If at the same time a person remains kind and still helps people, then he will also speed up the passage of his difficult part of fate.
By the way, if a person does not ask God for help, he does not help. He does not interfere in a person's life without his request, but at the same time he builds his fate in such a way that he goes through his stages of training with the highest quality. Often this happens through pain and suffering, but only through the fault of the person himself.
December 10, 2018 17:31
God always helps, and if it seems to someone that this is not the case, then it means that he is really doing something wrong. In this case, we must begin with the fact that the reader, and so everything is quite acceptable. She herself is healthy, her arms and legs are in place; although in a mortgage, but there is an apartment; the husband does not drink, he works; the child is not sick with any serious, incurable disease. So it’s a sin to complain: for many, the situations will be more difficult and nothing, they will get out. In addition, she could not help but understand that a child always needs attention and care, and therefore the best situation in the family is when one of the family members takes care of the house, and the rest work. Yes, yes, this is absolutely normal, as is the fact that young children often get sick. Then the house will be in order without nerves and overstrain, and the husband will be able to work better in a calm environment and earn more money, and the child’s immunity will increase in a calm environment and on homemade and freshly prepared food, and not on sausages and sweets without mother’s affection and care . And you can also seriously save on blanks: instead of cola for 70r, delicious compotes for 15r at cost, instead of sweets - jam, instead of cookies - ruddy pies with poppy seeds and apples, buns and puff croissants (test cost from 50r to 100r per kg).
Thus, one must initially understand that it is unlikely that if there is a child, everyone in the family will be able to work at the same time, and plan their daily routine with this calculation initially. If this is not done, then this is the first mistake for which God always “punishes”. And, although it seems that some manage to work and their children do not get sick, in fact, everyone is raked for this mistake, but only in different ways. Some, as in this case, are aware of the inability to work and get financial difficulties, and this is perhaps the least. Others refuse to deal with the fact that the child is sick, throw everything at the nanny who doesn’t give a damn, or even take the sick person to kindergarten, and then get even more sores from the child. And the third (and this is most often) eventually lose mutual understanding with the child (or rather, they are unable to fix it, because it takes a lot of time, patience, strength and knowledge from the very beginning. early age and up to 15 years old) and get at best a “rebellion” and the impossibility of normal communication, at worst - drugs and suicide. This does not mean that everything will be fine with moms who are sitting at home: you often see that such a mother is more concerned with herself than with her child, getting the same problems.
Now about housing. If there is no money to rent housing and there is nowhere else to live, then it is quite possible to move into your apartment without waiting for the repair to be completed. Yes, yes, it is uncomfortable, but not fatal. We ourselves lived for 4 months as a foursome (including with a child) in one-room apartment with a screed removed, a wall demolished and plaster knocked off other walls (and I worked alone then: on the question of money). And my neighbors generally immediately moved into a freshly built house in bare walls and slept on cement floor(although only one of the children was 8 years old, two more adults were already there) and were being repaired along the way.
At the mention that rented housing requires repair, doubts about the adequacy of a person and his “needs” generally creep in. Yes, and the presence of cockroaches depends on the person himself and his cleanliness. Somehow, many people confuse what is really necessary for life with what they “want”, and they want it right now, all at once and with a minimum of effort. And in such things, God does not help anyone and say thank you, if there is no punishment for impatience and unwillingness to overcome difficulties. Christ set an example of asceticism, so that everything beyond what is really necessary for survival is additional bonuses that are given for patience, work, humility, the ability to deny yourself in, as some call it, “little pleasures” and, oddly enough, , per good attitude to others and a willingness to help others. Even in business, there is an opinion now: if you want to get something, give the world 10 times more. And for everything that is given above the bare necessities, one must be grateful to God, and not wait for Him to help us live "no worse than others", i.e. satisfy your pride, love of money and gluttony (this sin applies not only to food, but also to the consumption of any goods).
Yes, you just need to have a head. That's why in this situation the grandmother works if she gets a penny, when the daughter can earn much more? Why should she be afraid of losing her job under such conditions? Most often this comes from the same pride. I supposedly work, so I don’t owe anything to anyone and will demand attention and respect in the house, so much so that the non-working daughter feels her dependence and is constantly grateful. What are you grateful for? Because the grandmother does not want to sit with the child, bake pies and does not allow her to earn much more money? Yes, she does not care about her daughter, and grandchildren, and sound logic. And if work is also connected with the satisfaction of one's pride and an increase in self-esteem on the part of others, then this is already a clinical case of selfishness and disregard for the whole family.
In addition, there is a clear misunderstanding in the family that Homework, if it is done with high quality, and raising children is a very complex and difficult task, for which a person must also be respected. The family is a single organism, and the mistress of the house is its heart. You will spit on the heart and disregard its needs - it will stop and the whole organism will die. That is, of course, each member of the family will physically survive on its own, but the family will no longer exist. And without a change in attitude to such issues, the family will always quickly fall apart or take an exclusively external form with emptiness inside. And the woman who is the heart cannot possibly be a burden. If the rest come home, and the house is in order (perhaps even during repairs and in the midst of cement!), Repairs are moving under her strict supervision, everything is already set on the table, if the child has managed to caress, and help, and teach something, and punish on time if it is really necessary (the child needs it for development and upbringing, not the parent!), then everyone else is obliged to the woman for carrying all their problems on her shoulders and providing them with the opportunity to fully work at work, without thinking about household problems! But if the woman herself does not consider herself important, does not understand how much depends on her work at home, if she fell into despondency, then she will not be able to take the role of a driving and bonding force, and not alone, so other troubles will haunt the whole family. Surely, and the child is not just sick. It was rightly written that perhaps this is the only way to attract the attention of my mother and be close to her. And she will change her attitude to what is happening, stop striving to escape from the child - and the child will no longer need to get sick. And it’s better if this happens before the child’s illness becomes a habit: then this process will be very difficult to reverse. And despondency, of course, is transmitted to the whole family, and it also becomes harder for them to live and work.
But a woman's awareness of this important role should also come from those around her, at least from her husband. If a woman sees that he respects her work, praises the results of her work, then this makes her feel the importance of her existence. However, this should be a mutual exchange of respect: a woman should also remember that it is her husband who is the head of the family and respect his work and his time, space and personal interests. After all, health is shaky most often precisely on nervous ground, from stress in an unhealthy atmosphere, and not from the work itself, apart from injuries and occupational diseases. When a person is nervous, not getting enough sleep, when he is worried about problems at home or in his head a list of tasks that are not related to work, then his performance decreases, for the same time he gives less work results and earns less, of course, if the payment is for the result. Although on a permanent basis the salary of such an employee is unlikely to be raised and he will not be promoted to a higher position.
In general, the result is this: rejoice in what you have; be more tolerant and know how to endure; do not be afraid of difficulties and hardships; do not be afraid to sacrifice your interests for the sake of achieving more and for the sake of your loved ones; appreciate work in all its manifestations, and not for money or veneration; give your loved ones the most precious thing you have: your time and attention; do not chase someone else's approval; respect each other, especially in the family. Then, over time, you will be rewarded a hundredfold for all your labors and patience, and God will help!