Often a person experiences causeless anxiety, unaccountable irritation, inexplicable joy, without thinking about where these emotions came from. The cause of such states is the action of emotional anchors. When a person experiences an exciting situation, his brain records small parts: sound, image, sensation. Emerging in memory, these details awaken an associative series that immerses us in the emotions we have experienced.
There is such a legend. One day a little boy was sitting with his father in front of the fire. Suddenly, among the flames, they saw the spirit of fire. The father immediately hit his son painfully. “Why did you do this?” asked the offended child. His father answered him: “So that you remember this moment forever.”
Visible here Feedback: A vivid emotional experience can consolidate information in memory.
To become the master of your mood, you need to understand what controls it: your own will or reactions imposed from the outside.
How do emotional anchors control us?
In neurolinguistic programming techniques, anchoring is used to manipulate another person. Certain circumstances are associated with a trigger (gesture, sound, image). In the future, it is enough to use the signal to evoke the expected response in a person. The simplest example– encouragement. The mother patted the child on the head and asked him to put away the toys. The child complied with her request and received candy. Repeating the situation will reinforce the model in the child’s mind: stroked the head - fulfilled the requirement - received a reward. Touch is an emotional anchor that stimulates desire in a person. submit associated with the expectation of reward.
Any emotional anchors formed outside the will of the individual and applied to him are destructive in nature. They lead a person away from his true desires, forcing him to act within the framework of other people's goals and objectives.
How do we manage our emotional anchors?
It is more correct to use emotional anchors to manage resource states.
Resource is the state of a person experienced in the past, when he acted most effectively, achieved success, felt joy, and which, when remembered, can be used to improve the emotional state in the present.
Let's say there was a moment of elation in your life when you were accompanied by success. Associated with this moment are memories of sounds, smells, images and sensations. Among these memories there is the most vivid memory, which instantly immerses you in the experience emotional condition. Such a memory becomes a “button” that triggers the desired emotional mood.
For example, you won a sports competition and were given an award. At the same time, there was music and applause, and you felt the prize in your hands. At that moment, you perceived many details of the event, but one was especially vividly etched in your memory. Let's say it was music being played. She became your emotional anchor. You can record this melody in your smartphone and listen to it if necessary to create a winning mindset.
An emotional anchor can serve as a starting point for creating a personal talisman.
To create your own talisman, it is better to choose something that is convenient to always have with you and which in itself does not cause negative emotions. It could be a coin, a pebble, a keychain, or any small item. First you need to clearly define what the talisman will help you with: in love, in career, in family relationships, in obtaining information. The item you choose must be with you at all times. When you have a positive emotional situation in the right area, remember this object and take it in your hands. Thus, you will associatively connect this object with your current emotional state, “anchoring” the situation to the object. To strengthen the connection, do the following exercise as often as possible: having established tactile and visual contact with the object, remember your success in all the details. It is important to feel the rush of emotions that you experienced then. Repeating this exercise will strengthen the connection of the talisman with your resource state. On the other hand, you feed the anchor with your energy.
This needs some clarification. Energy surrounds us everywhere. Not only living bodies, but also inanimate objects radiate energy. Energy is a carrier of information. When you hold an object in your hands, you see it, thereby you leave your energetic imprint on it. The energy you emit always carries certain information. You change the properties of the energy emitted by an object by adding an information component.
Thus, the object becomes a kind of accumulator of the resource state. Now your talisman will provide the necessary energy support in your chosen area of life.
In a complex, fast-paced world where stress levels can sometimes run high, you can take control of your emotions by learning to manage your emotional anchors. Then no external manipulation of your mood will be able to take you away from your true goals and desires.
Don’t be alarmed, we are just talking about an emotional anchor, a kind of psychological technique. This method is clearly demonstrated in the film Sex and the City. The heroine used this technique, touching her lover’s arm a little above the elbow. And she achieved everything she wanted. Even weddings. In the film, of course, everything is a little exaggerated, but touch is one of the elements of NLP. So, let's figure out what an emotional anchor is.
Psychologists believe that an emotional anchor is a stimulus that causes a certain state. Both emotional and physical. The stimulus can be a sensation, sound, taste, smell, or image. For example, by wearing your favorite perfume that you save for special occasions, you will feel the atmosphere inherent in these occasions. There is a feeling of celebration, anticipation of something wonderful and joyful. Believe me, your man will experience the same feelings when inhaling this aroma.
Anchors can be either positive or negative. Therefore, it is always worth remembering this when performing any actions. Unconsciously you may be setting an anchor. For example, you will hug your husband from behind when he is unhappy or upset about something. The next time you perform a similar action, he may subconsciously return to this uncomfortable state. Even if at that moment he was in a great mood.
There are a lot of emotional anchors in our lives and most of them are installed unconsciously. Anything suitable can act as an anchor - music from a favorite movie, the movie itself, photographs of loved ones, the smell of pies from childhood. Even remembering your husband comforting you can help you cope.
No one can escape the involuntary process of anchoring. So why not use this to achieve your goals in your love relationship?
Emotional anchors can be divided into types:
Visual. Put it on Nice dress, make sure your husband likes it too. And start complimenting him, hugging and kissing him. Over time, when he sees this outfit on you, he will feel positive emotions. Well, fulfill your wishes.
Auditory. Arrange musical accompaniment for a romantic evening together. He will remember this music and will always remember you when he hears this melody.
Kinestatic. These include any touching and caresses.
Olfactory. Use the same scent in bed. And every time it will evoke certain emotions in your husband.
Let's consider anchoring using a kinestatic anchor. However, it is worth noting that speed and success in general will largely depend on the emotionality of your man. He is not a trained dog to follow your commands and demonstrate conditioned and unconditioned reflexes. Be patient and try another action if it doesn't seem to appeal to your husband.
Step one. Choose a moment when your husband is in a great mood.
Step two. As if by chance, lightly touch it in a certain place. Choose accessible places - arms, neck, back. The touch should be invisible.
Step three. Repeat this touch only in a certain place and only when he is in a good mood.
Step four. Reap the benefits. As soon as he is not treating you well enough, in your opinion, touch him in a conditional place. A good mood will definitely return to your husband.
In psychology, as indeed everywhere else, the main rule is to observe moderation. Emotional anchors can bring considerable benefits in relationships and can prevent many conflicts. Of course, if you use them only for good, and not turn them into ways to manipulate a person. As mentioned earlier, a man is not an animal; he will not allow experiments on himself to be carried out with impunity. If there are too many of your anchors, he will definitely notice this and understand that you want to control him. Few men will like this. In addition, frequent use of emotional anchors can lead to disruption of emotional perception. Which will also not add benefit to your relationship.
Alexander Lyubimov
You've most likely already heard about anchors. Even if you don't know anything about NLP. But under a different name - conditioned reflexes. Remember: Pavlov’s dogs, when the bell rings, saliva flows... We went through biology lessons. These are the anchors - conditioned reflexes, the connection between stimulus and state.
And anchors are very good for triggering the right state at the right moment. Once - and the person is calm, or vice versa, cheerful. True, the anchor works like a doorbell button:
The bell rings as long as you press the button.
That is, the person is in the desired state as long as the stimulus is “on”.
How to set anchors
An anchor occurs when some event occurs at the peak of the state. And the brain connects the event (now this can be called a stimulus or trigger) and the state - and an anchor is obtained. For example, if at the moment when a person experiences intense joy, you touch his shoulder, then after exactly the same touching his shoulder, he will again experience joy. Just like the dog in Pavlov's experiments salivated when the bell rang.
So, to install an anchor you need two things: peak state And originality of the stimulus. WITH peak it’s more or less clear - the state has reached its maximum and here we install an anchor. At the same time, it is important that the person has not yet left this peak; the stimulus must be “inside” the state so that the brain decides that they are connected. For example, a person is rejoicing, and at that moment you tap your finger for several seconds until he stops rejoicing. Then, when the finger taps exactly the same way, the person will rejoice again.
But here I am the stimulus must be somewhat unusual in the given situation- slightly unusual posture, tone of voice, knocking, touching, position in space. This does not mean at all that you have to portray something unimaginable; you can simply lower your voice a little - but at the same time keep this pitch of the voice at the same level. Or tilt your head and don’t move it while you set the anchor. This means that you usually exactly don't speak your head in that tone of voice exactly do not hold in this position. This, in fact, is the “originality of the stimulus.”
What else is needed - fidelity anchors That is, you reproduce the anchor extremely exactly: exactly the same sound or word spoken with exactly with the same intonation exactly the same movement or touch.
For example, some believe that if you press harder when reproducing a kinesthetic anchor than during installation, then the reaction will be more intense. But no, the result will be worse (if at all).
So, the rules for using anchors:
1. Installation at the peak of the state.
2. Originality of the stimulus.
3. Reproduction accuracy.
And a few things to know about anchors.
Anchors have a lifetime: If the anchor is not secured, it will live from an hour to several days. To secure the anchor, you need to repeat the entire anchoring procedure 3-5 times. After fastening, the anchor just turns into a conditioned reflex.
Anchors can be destroyed: An anchor is not permanent, they can be removed, for example, by collapsing the anchors.
Anchors can form naturally: a typical example is the smell of a Christmas tree and tangerine ( New Year), school bell.
Anchors can be divided along the sensory channel, through which the stimulus is “triggered”:
Visual - characteristic gesture, photograph, clothing.
Auditory - name, song, tone of voice.
Kinesthetic - the taste of Bell water, place in space, touch.
Each type of anchor (VAK) has its own advantages and disadvantages. Tactile anchors ( TO) are the most reliable, but it is not always possible to touch a person and not everyone allows you to do this. IN It is easier to set the anchor, but the person may turn away or close his eyes.
Anchors are a very ancient way of learning, developing the “correct” reaction. Anchors are not controlled by consciousness - they arose much earlier than this young and impudent thing. So this is an ancient, powerful and slightly dumb way of understanding the world. But it is very reliable - it always works and does not break.
Setting the anchor: step by step
0. Determine the state:
Determine the state you want to use.
1. Calling the state.
Get access to the state: for example, remember the situation in which this state occurred. Turn it up to the max.
2. Calibration and installation of the anchor.
If you have access to the desired state and you are really sure that this is what you need, you calibrate, that is, remember nonverbal cues condition, and set anchor. Remember that the anchor must be placed at the peak of the condition.
3. State breakdown.
Take a break: look outside the window, add 128 and 339, move your computer mouse.
4. Checking the anchor.
Play the stimulus. If the state is reproduced, the anchor is set. Just keep in mind that in most cases, the intensity of the state caused by anchors is somewhat weaker than the intensity at the moment of installing the anchor. So external signs, and the internal sensations will not be so strong.
5. Using an anchor.
Launch the anchor at the right moment - when you need more confidence (if you anchored on confidence) or need to calm the person (if you anchored on calm).
The difference between 4 (checking) 5 (using the anchor) points is only that when checking you reproduce the anchor “just like that” and watch whether the stimulus works or not. When used, you include an anchor to access the desired state at that particular moment.
For example, how to set an anchor for yourself. Let's anchor on the state of joy (although you can choose pleasure, anger, and calmness to suit your taste).
1. Call up states: remember a situation in which he had relatively strong feeling joy and try to enhance it to the maximum.
2. Set anchors: at the peak of the state, clench your right hand into a fist.
It is clear that you can use any other convenient stimulus: touch index finger to a large extent, rub your earlobe, tap your finger on the table. When you anchor yourself, usually More comfortable use kinesthetic (bodily) anchors.
3. Take a break: look outside the window, take the cube root of 18456.
4. Check the anchor: make a fist right hand with the same force. If you feel joy (not necessarily as strong as when setting the anchor) - the anchor is set.
It's quite simple, isn't it?
Anchors as a way to add resources
Anchors in NLP are most often used to bring resources into a situation (step 6 in the change framework). This is a quick and easy way to add happiness, pleasure and self-confidence to the right situation. Just for you - a few small techniques.
State access
Anchors are quite convenient to use to access the resource state at the right time. For example, in some situations you may need: calm, cheerfulness, relaxation, concentration.
Set an anchor for each state by pressing the fingers of your left hand to your left palm: little finger - calm, ring finger - cheerfulness, middle finger - relaxation, index finger - concentration. Now, in a situation where you need access to calm, all you have to do is hold your little finger.
It is clear that you select the states that are right for you, and not necessarily calm and cheerfulness. Likewise, the anchor does not have to be pressing your finger into your palm - it can be anything else that you can hold for long enough without being distracted by it. For example, the anchor might be the idea of a green triangle, but as long as you think about that green triangle, you will most likely not pay enough attention during the conversation.
Removing unpleasant memories
There may be unpleasant situations in the past that regularly pop up in your memory, reminding you of the mistakes you made. Most of these memories do not bring much benefit, but they add unpleasant experiences, so that they can be “erased” - the score can be removed. And we usually remember only what is associated with a strong emotion. True, the proposed method can work with situations of low and medium importance and/or not too intense experiences.
1. Situation.
Choose a situation to which you want to change your attitude.
2. Resource.
Determine what resource state you need to reassess this situation: happiness, joy, calm, confidence, etc.
3. Anchor to the resource.
Set an anchor that can be easily replicated. For example, clenching your hand into a fist or squeezing your index finger and thumb.
4. Adding a resource.
Play the anchor and, holding it, “scroll” the situation in your head from beginning to end.
5. Functionality check.
Has your perception of the situation changed in a desirable direction? Is this change enough? If not, go back to the second step and select another resource.
6. Environmental audit.
Will a new attitude towards this situation harm you? If yes, go back to step two and add the necessary resources.
7. Link to the future.
Observe yourself in the future in three or four situations in which this unpleasant memory might have previously surfaced. How are you doing now?
Nowadays, every person is exposed to stress every day, which can ruin their mood and even lead to depression. How to resist negative influence from outside?
One of the methods of dealing with stress can be considered the so-called anchoring technique. It consists of creating for yourself certain emotional fixators (anchors), which at the right moment will help you lift your mood, gain confidence, and feel happy again.
Each of us has psychological anchors that have established themselves throughout our lives.Most often they have a negative connotation. For example, a long time ago you were insulted, humiliated, offended by some person, and this insult left a deep wound in your soul. And although you have already forgotten about this incident, but having met a person who is somewhat similar to the offender, hearing a similar voice, or noticing the same gesture, manner of dressing, etc., you may again feel the pain of resentment or unpleasant emotions towards a stranger.
Therefore, it is better to start installing an anchor yourself, or even several - ones that will remind you of the state of love, joy, lightness of being - those states of the soul that you yourself desire.
How to use the anchoring technique?
The main thing is to wait for a happy moment and record the sensations that you are experiencing at the moment. For example, you have achieved success in some business. This victory was achieved through incredible efforts, and at the moment of recognition of your achievements, you feel at the peak of happiness. What is not a reason to set an anchor for success? Mark your emotions with some gesture (snapping your fingers, rubbing your palms, touching your earlobe, etc.). Perhaps you were impressed by the music, or the scent of flowers, or some visual image of this event. This will be your anchor for success. The next time you want to experience these emotions again, all you have to do is snap your fingers or turn on the very tune with which you anchored your success.
The anchoring technique is especially helpful in difficult moments in life, when melancholy and depression set in. Now is the time to use the anchor of joy, Have a good mood, fun. True, it is necessary to remember that the anchors of your emotions have their expiration date: the more times you use one or another anchor, the weaker it becomes. There is only one way out: make new, fresh anchor installations.
There are 4 main types of anchors:
1. Visual. These are those visual impressions that left the strongest imprint in your memory during moments of pleasant (or, conversely, unpleasant) events for you: color, shape, size, brightness of lighting, etc.
2. Auditory. The sounds that you remember most during events that are significant to you: birdsong, the timbre of a person’s voice, a melody or song, the sound of the sea surf, the crackling of wood in the fireplace, etc.
3. Kinesthetic. Records the emotions that you feel on your skin: touching, stroking, pinching, rubbing, tingling; cold or heat, softness or hardness, viscosity or fluidity, etc.
4. Olfactory. Anchor of smells: aromas of perfume, flowers, spices, coffee, fruits or the smell of gasoline, fire smoke, birch broom, air after a thunderstorm...
And one more little secret: determine which type of anchor is the most impressive and memorable for you and try to anchor your emotions based on your strong feelings. Perhaps it will be not one, but several types of perception, for example, the aroma of mint + sunset coloring the clouds pink color(once on the same evening, over a cup of mint tea, contemplating the sunset sky, you experienced incredible happiness and felt spiritual harmony).
An emotional anchor is a concept from the field of psychology. In common language, this is a stimulus that can cause certain emotional or physical sensations. The effectiveness of this method is shown very well in the film “Sex and the City”. With simple touches to your loved one’s hand in the elbow area main character could achieve anything. It is clear that such simplicity of using an emotional anchor in relation to a man is significantly exaggerated. But, nevertheless, there are many ways that you can use to change a person’s emotional mood.
One of these methods is the use of aromatherapy. For example, your favorite perfume, which you use only on holidays, will easily lift your spirits and create a festive atmosphere in any situation. Your beloved man will feel the same when inhaling the aroma that always accompanies you on holidays and joyful days. The same way influence the emotional state and sound and taste sensations. Also, a well-created image that evokes certain associations will help draw attention to something or create interest.
Remember that emotional anchors can have both positive and negative effects. Therefore, it is necessary to first select a positive emotional state, and then apply one of the selected stimuli, so that in the future you can repeat it if desired. Be careful not to fixate with any stimulus Bad mood, a period of bad luck and failures of a loved one. For example, by showing a certain tenderness to your husband at a time when he is upset or dissatisfied, you set a mark, and in the future, such an action of yours can lead to subconscious irritation or dissatisfaction, even when he is in a wonderful mood.
Most of the incentives that Everyday life there is a whole variety, it is used involuntarily, securing a certain state and perception of the situation by a person. According to psychologists, any little thing can serve as an emotional anchor. After all, many of us have encountered a situation where ordinary memories of a pleasant time with a loved one helped us get through a difficult period of life with dignity. The smell of buns, associated with a happy childhood, photographs of loved ones, music from a favorite movie - these are all psychological stimuli that can serve as emotional anchors in certain situations.
It has been proven that with the help of emotional influence you can influence the behavior and thinking of a person as a whole. And the fact is that no one in everyday life, communicating with other people, can avoid the fate of being “anchored.” Therefore, you should not resist this, it is better to use it wisely psychological ways to build a harmonious relationship with your loved one.
Experts divide emotional anchors into:
Visual is an emotional impact through an image. For example, wearing nice outfit that your loved one likes, you need to hug and kiss him every time. This way, over time, you can develop in him positive emotions associated with the outfit and the desire to fulfill all your desires.
Auditory – This emotional anchor associated with a specific melody is often used to evoke memories of a loved one. To do this, more often, arrange romantic evenings for two with an original musical accompaniment.
Kinestatic - the stimuli of this emotional impact include any touch. Show originality and come up with something unusual, associating it with a certain state of your loved one.
Olfactory is one of the most powerful emotional anchors that operate on a subconscious level. Be sure to use the same scent in bed, evoking positive emotions of your loved one.
Psychology is a science that requires a lot of patience; when using its methods, you always need to know when to stop. You should never expect instant results, because your loved one is not a puppet and will not follow commands like a trained dog. Be patient and try another action and stimulus if this one does not seem to attract your husband. And most importantly, be careful, do not set out to manipulate your loved one in any situation. After all, if he notices this, it will only ruin the relationship, since it is unlikely that anyone will like to be controlled.