This article is for those who find themselves in an impasse right now. Each of us in our lives faced a choice many times, and we did not always know which choice was the most correct. In this article, I will try my best to answer the questions - "How to do right choice?» or "How to make the right choice?" . This article is a continuation of the article -. Read carefully.
How to make the right choice?
Our whole life is made up of some kind of choice. What you have now is the sum of your choices. The choices that each person makes are sometimes right, and sometimes completely wrong. Unfortunately, not all people have a highly developed intuition and psychic abilities. I would even say that the vast majority do not have them. Many people are forced to be guided by common sense and logic. It's just that logic can fail. So how do you make the right choice then?
For example, a person graduated from high school, and how can he decide what to do next, which university to choose? Or a student graduated from a university and is now wondering how to choose the right job? And take women who dream of successfully marrying? They are interested in the question How to make the right choice of a husband?. And then they ask such a question only when there are several candidates. After all, choosing one person, life will turn out quite differently than if she chose another person. Therefore, the ability to make the right choices is very important for every person.
And whatever one may say, logic will help in this. Yes, many gurus say that logic is weak in decision making. Let them think like that. Logic helps to weigh everything, check all the facts, put pros and cons, and then make a choice. Logic is a good help in solving business issues, for example, how much money you need to invest in a project so that it pays for itself. All these calculations that are given to us at universities really help. Logic will help you choose the right place to work.
To do this, you need to take a piece of paper, write down all the criteria, pros and cons, sit for two hours and then everything will become clear. Some choices take a very long time, sometimes even several months. I remember how my parents wanted to buy non-residential space for a business, but they could not understand if they would make the right choice if they bought it. After all, an apartment costs a lot of money, and if the business does not go to the chosen place, then all the work and money will be a big ass to the cat.
I am sure that many entrepreneurs have faced this situation. And I am sure that logic and knowledge will help to avoid such blunders. In order for the elections to always be correct, you need to know the final result very clearly. A clear end result filters out everything that is not needed, gives a complete picture and helps a lot to make the right choice.
For example, a woman does not know which man to marry. If the feelings are approximately equal, then you will have to take a piece of paper, write down all the criteria for the man with whom this woman wants to live her whole life, compare these criteria with men, that is, determine whether this or that man has these points or not, and then already making a choice.
How to make the right choice?
Very often, logic is powerless in making decisions. In such cases, it often helps to make the right choice and inner feelings. For example, when my parents were thinking about which store to buy ten years ago, they bought exactly the one that caused them the most positive emotions. I'm not only talking about appearance the mini market itself, it is also the infrastructure, the area, the people. They liked everything.
And when eighteen years ago we chose a dacha with the whole family, we were guided by the same. I was then five years old, and then we traveled to, probably, eight villages. And when we arrived at the village that we now have, we realized that this place is truly ours. Bought it immediately without hesitation.
When you feel that such a choice is the right one, make it right away. But there is one BUT. Some people, when they find out that you want to do something, may confuse you with their language. Many people abandoned their ventures because some personalities predicted something bad for them.
For example, a person wanted to open a business in the field of trade. When an idea comes, a person usually feels inspired. His idea is inspiring. But it’s worth telling someone about the idea, how this someone will say such a thing that the person is then afraid to invent and undertake something. For example, I want to create an English site. When this idea came to my mind, I was immediately inspired. Right now I'm just studying English language And I need more practice. The next day I started to implement the idea. Then I decided to read on the Internet what they say about the bourgeoisie. I asked several people what the main difficulties were, and fortunately for me, they answered me that the idea was good, it was only needed for .
Then I got lucky. But it was not always so. I remember my brother and I decided to open an ice cream by weight. When this idea came to my mind, I was happy. When I told my parents about this, my mother said such things to me that it seemed to me that in this life it is better to sit in a swamp and not stick out. We did not listen to her and did everything quietly. The business was opened on April 18, 2010. Then we made the right choice, and no one regrets anything.
People prevent us from making the right choice either because of or because of love for us. Your environment will hold you back in every possible way, and if you decide because you want to, change it silently. Intuition and inner feelings will help you make the right choices. People often get in the way. So think carefully about who you consult with.
It often happens that in accepting right decision at the same time, logic is powerless and intuition is silent. The following question arises - “How to make the right choice in such a situation?”. Well, dear friends, here you have to take risks. Nobody canceled the risk. It often happens that a person does not have the slightest idea what choice will be right. To do or not to do? To go or not to go? Is it worth the deal or not?
In such cases, you either do or you don't. Many people, having taken a risk, regretted what they had done, other people regretted the missed opportunity. Whether it is worth doing or not worth it depends on the type and. People who often take risks always succeed. Those people who do not take risks sit silently in the swamp. We then ventured to open our own business, and everything worked out for us. Sometimes there is no risk.
Now let's summarize the responses to the questions: How to make the right choice or how to make the right choice?
- Use logic. If necessary, take a piece of paper, write a specific result, make up the criteria, pros and cons, and compare with what we have now.
- Pay attention to your emotions. Intuition prompts precisely through emotions, not logic.
- Consult trusted people. But remember, sometimes it's worth making a choice silently.
- Take risks if you are sure.
- To make the right decision, calm your mind. By doing this, the right choice will pop up in your head.
Personally, I take risks most of the time. Sometimes I know that my choice will not work, but I need to make sure. This is how I gain experience. I can even give an example from life. I remember how long I thought about whether I should place ads on one site. She is not cheap. Emotions said it was worth it, my calculations seemed to say it was worth it too, but when I placed the ad, my results turned out to be even worse than the worst expected result. But I got experience, and now I'm not stupid in such matters. The choice is not always the right one, and this must be accepted.
how to make the right choice how to make the right choice
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“When you have to make a choice,
and you don’t do it, that’s also a choice.”
William James
Every day a person has to make decisions make choices from several possible options. And this is not an easy task.
A person is constantly faced with choices - what to wear, what to eat, how to spend the day, and so on. Such choices are easy to make.
But what about more global solutions:
- When and where to go on vacation?
- Where to live? Buy a house or apartment?
- In which educational institution to enter?
- Stay on previous work Or accept a tempting offer?
- With whom to connect your fate?
There are many such questions, each one has its own. And as soon as one problem is solved, a new one arises.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponing the decision until later.
Which option to resolve the issue to choose, and which to refuse? Whom to ask for advice and what advice to listen to? The more complex the issue, the more difficult it is to make a choice.
In this article, you will learn how to learn how to make the right choice and what will help you not to hesitate and accept with confidence. wise decisions.
Your life is a reflection of your choices
A person's life is shaped by his values, deeds, decisions and actions.
See where you are now, at what point in your life path. What do you have and what is missing in your life. It's all the results of your elections.
It is the law of consequence by which your reality changes and builds.
Everything that is in your life, everything that happens in it is all you once created with your actions and choices.
One step at a time
On the way to the goal, a person constantly does a lot different elections. And at each step of the way, the initial result depends on these small options-choices.
For example: On life path a person has an obstacle, let's call it figuratively - " big Stone- boulder. And this obstacle must be removed.
A person just needs to make a choice how to move on. And he has at least three options - climb over this boulder, get around it or get it out of the way.
A person makes a decision to move the boulder out of the way. And here again there are options for resolving the issue.
You can try to move the boulder yourself. You can, for the use of greater physical strength, call a group of people for help. And you can use technology.
The man thought and decided that applying the technique was the best option for him.
The necessary equipment can be bought, rented, or simply used by agreement for free or by barter. Etc.
Each option has its own possibilities for solving the problem that has arisen. And at every stage you can turn in any, necessary for a person, direction.
There is also always the possibility turn back and not overcome obstacles. This is also a choice.
Why is it so difficult to make a choice
Make a decision, usually a person fears interfere and doubt. Such fears are born from already experienced past situations and from the unknown before the future.
From past experience, a person is afraid of repeating mistakes made, because he remembers the pain that he experienced. In such a situation, it is difficult for a person to let go of the past, and he hangs there.
A person is afraid of the future, because he does not know what awaits him ahead. He is afraid of the unknown.
As a result, a person turns down opportunities because of fears and insecurities, because of the fact that some kind of trouble awaits.
And only being in the “Here and Now” state, a person is able to calmly make a choice.
Advice to those who do not know how to listen to intuition, use this practice as often as possible, train on simple situations.
Remember the case when you were faced with the choice of something important, listened to your intuition, and it did not let you down. Over time, you realized that you made the right choice.
Remember that feeling when you made a decision. Let it be the benchmark.
Often many people have a dilemma of life choice - the question is imposed - how to make the right choice in life, and do not go wrong. Such problems of life lead many to a psychological dead end, especially if you need to make the right choice in love (the love triangle between men and women), or if you need to make the right choice of profession, in school, at work, in friendship and partnership ...
Also, the dilemma of a vital choice can occur in almost all areas and spheres of human life, even in seemingly insignificant situations - the right choice of purchase, place of rest, road home ...
How to make the only right choice in life in a given situation
Any person, in any situation, always has a choice, the problem is that some people either do not see alternatives at all, or see only two, often polar or mutually exclusive choices in life, this choice problem is connected with people's worldview, with their life scenario , their model of the world ... in the understanding of each individual. Many people see reality as if through a dull glass, that is, through the prism (filter) of their worldview ... their beliefs and stereotypical thinking.Such a vision of the world, filtered through its own narrow model, does not allow a person to make right choice in life, even if these choices are obvious to others ... He simply does not notice them. And if he notices, he will still make the wrong choice in life, unlucky, if lucky at all ...
So how do you make the right choice in life?
The best option to always make the right choice is to learn to understand the very possibility of choice, and to see the different possibilities of choice in life, even in the most seemingly small things. But unfortunately, if a person has a rather narrow model of the world, that is, if his parents did not teach him to be successful and happy during upbringing (parental programming), then now you can expand your worldview, change your loser’s program, only with the help of a psychotherapist ... psychoanalysis ... (those who wish can consult for free)
If you have at least two choices, for example in a love triangle, and you suffer from the fact that you cannot make one single correct choice, then use the technique from cognitive therapy to independently analyze the situation, your own thoughts and desires, your feelings and emotions , and related behavior - active or passive.
What does it take to be able to make the right choice in life?
For example, let's take the problem of a psychological impasse in a love relationship - a love triangle: a girl, as it seems to her, loves two ... one is rich, mature, strong, caring ... and the other is not rich, hovering in the clouds, undefined in life, not giving expensive gifts, but in intimacy, caresses and sexual relationships - works wonders.The girl suffers from problems of choice in life: on the one hand, she wants to be taken care of, given gifts, so that her future becomes secure ..., and on the other hand, she wants emotionality, intimacy, violent and passionate love ...
With her mind, she understands that you won’t go far on one stormy love ... you need to think about the future, provide for your family ... Also, she understands that in abundance but without emotional acceptance and intimacy, she will, to put it mildly, be bored ...
What then to do, how to make the right choice in life
In fact, the girl does not suffer because of the situation that she has only two choices ..., she suffers because of an intrapersonal conflict, which, by the way, leads her to a psychological dead end. And no matter what she chooses - a poor guy, or a rich one - she will still suffer ..., because. will not satisfy the desire of one of the two parts of his inner "I".
It will probably seem to someone that a third option would be nice here, that is, another man would have to appear - and a caring, gallant, wealthy ... and a passionate lover - all in one bottle ... And here it is - happiness. And many girls probably said: “It would be great, but where can I find this?”.
But even if we imagine a miracle, and the third gentleman, the third choice somehow magically appeared, then this girl with her model of the world and choice simply will not see him ... she will, as it were, be in foggy glasses, and by virtue of her worldview, she will see just these two…i.e. she also has only two choices.
And even if at the behest magic wand and this lucky "lottery ticket" will fall out, and she will still marry this "prince", then she will still be unhappy and will suffer - isn't it a paradox?
The easiest way to make the right choice in life
When a person has a conflict within the personality, between the two parts of the "I", and he does not know how to make the right choice, then the easiest way to resolve this conflict and come to a compromise with yourself, or find more options - large quantity elections - you need to conduct a dialogue with yourself ...At the same time, it is necessary to include in this dispute (discussion), in which the truth is born, the “third person” (in reality, this role can be played by a psychologist, or another person authoritative for you) ...
You need to take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts: on the left side - let one part of your “I” “speak out” ... write down for it all the arguments in favor of the first proposed choice (in the example with the girl - the arguments in favor of choosing a rich guy) …
In the right half of the sheet, write down the arguments for the second proposed choice (in the example with the girl, the arguments in favor of the “poor”, but “loving” guy) ...
See which part of "I" is more convincing in its evidence...
Now, take another sheet of paper and imagine the situation from the outside - let your “rational self” - your third subpersonality speak out on this sheet ... Let them offer their options and their evidence (at least three options) ... turn on brainstorming ...
If you work properly with this simple exercise, then you can not be torn between two choices, but most likely you will find several more options, and you can make the right choice in life…
Human life is made up of big and small decisions. Every day we make choices about what time to get up, what to eat for breakfast, and what route to take to work. Even little things like this sometimes cause serious anxiety, not to mention something bigger: which university to go to, what job to get, who to marry - or maybe get a divorce, quit and go in search of something better? The answer to such questions is often depression, a desire to trust chance or just leave everything as it is and go with the flow. After all, having done something, so often you have to repent of it later. But to repent of inaction is not less common. How to learn to make the right choice?
Insufficiency of information
One of the main obstacles that appears when you need to make a choice is the incompleteness of the information available. It is impossible to foresee all difficulties, prevent all problems, calculate all the details - simply because, alas, we are not given to see the future. On the other hand, each of the available options is at least a little, but a pig in a poke.
fatalism and knowledge
The consequences of our actions are difficult to predict, but this is no reason not to make a choice at all and surrender to the mercy of fate. To start, find out as much as you can about the choices. True, it is still impossible to find out absolutely everything about them and exclude chance from the most thoughtful plan. It remains only to come to terms with this and believe in yourself: no matter what you do, no matter what happens, you will cope with possible problems and take advantage. This idea reduces internal stress: you no longer require yourself to make a choice completely unmistakably.
Decision-making methods
1. You can sit, lie down, walk down the street (as you prefer) and mentally weigh all the options. You can do the same on a piece of paper: describe each option, its advantages and disadvantages. For greater clarity, you can even draw a table, in the columns of which you list all the pros and cons of each option, and then calculate them - and, perhaps, with peace of mind, choose the option that has the most advantages. Just do not forget that their quantity does not always correspond to quality.
2. There are less rational way. Dry calculations of income and expenditure are meaningless if what is more important to you is what you will feel in a given situation. Then it is better to imagine each in turn possible variant and experience it in your imagination. So you will know what your emotional reaction will be in this or that case, and whether you like it.
3. Trust your intuition. Making a choice with its help is an invaluable talent: if it is possible to foresee accidents, then only with the help of such an irrational instinct. This does not mean that you need to choose at random, but if you feel like, contrary to all logic, something tells you a completely different decision, do not rush to dismiss it from your mind.
Some of them are more natural for you, some less: it depends on the mindset. It is more convenient and easier to use your own, native, but it is worth trying others and applying them in parallel: this way you can look at your problem with different parties and get a better picture.
Before making a choice, especially a responsible and important one, a person goes through a painful period of doubt. Tossing about how to make the right choice between one and the other can become unbearable and last too long. So long that it already turns back from the process. If there was some simple and perfect way to make the right choice, then it would be ... Oh, how easy it would be to live then!
- Why is it so difficult to choose between one and the other?
- How to overcome doubts and still make the right one, important choice in life? What to rely on?
In response to the question “how to make an important choice?” there will always be a cunning person who will offer a quick and easy solution: for example, toss a coin, tell fortunes on chamomile petals, or buy a ball that, after being shaken, gives the answer. As if such a choice could be the right one. We know that this does not happen - the doubts that torment from the inside will not make it possible to get rid of the process so easily. Can they be removed with a coin? Not! Then what to appease them? How not just to make the right choice, but the choice without painful doubts? That is exactly the question we will answer in this article.
Why is it so difficult to make the right choice in life?
If I knew where you would fall, I would lay straws
The problem of the correctness of the choice lies ... tram-pa-pa-ra-ram, who would have thought - in human psychology. What did you think? That it directly depends on what you choose between what and what? Well, no, everything is much deeper and more complicated. The problem is that prevents us from making this very choice- why doubts are so painful that they are a real stupor. There is something wrong with this.
The best way to understand why it is so difficult to make the right choice in favor of anything is with the help of systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan. This science identifies 8 psychotypes - vectors. One of them can make a person doubt all the time. This is an anal vector, you can learn more about it, and.
A person with an anal vector has some innate desires, one of which is the desire to perfect quality. He wants everything to be not just “good”, but “excellent”. The slightest blemish leads to disappointment, I want to redo it all over again. If this fails, the person often suffers for the rest of his life. For example, he glues wallpaper and somewhere in one place it didn’t work out very well - a small inconsistency appeared. Another will easily forget about it and will not pay attention, the third will generally put a sofa or cover it with a picture. But just not anal - he will know and remember this mistake, blot, he will not be able to forget it, she will always be a thorn in his eye.
Such a desire for the ideal normally has a very positive impetus to development. anal person. He is an excellent student at school, at the institute, does not allow himself to be lazy. He can become a professional in his field or even, when combined with other vectors, an encyclopedia person, like Alexander Druz, for example. But things don't always work out so perfectly. Sometimes an anal person is not given this skill in childhood - to bring it to the ideal. Insecure by nature, he becomes the opposite of a professional - full of doubts and worries. Having no support, he constantly rushes from one to another and often even the most simple questions cannot decide what to say to make a difficult choice - this is a stop, a stupor. Doubt seems to preserve it. Significantly worsens the situation and a bad first experience.
Doubt about the norm is the right choice based on well-remembered experiences, both negative and positive. Doubt is not normal - it is throwing from side to side, when the experience is completely leveled, as a support for the right choice in life.
Only the experience of a person, as well as the experience of previous generations, can be a support in order to minimize their own mistakes. It is the anal person who knows this better than others, his whole psyche is directed towards the past. He loves history, he remembers his childhood and youth well, in detail.
But not being able to rationally use his best quality of life, the anal man directs all his energy to a bad experience - he gets hung up on insults, events where he made a bitter mistake. At the same time, positive experiences are neglected and not remembered. Then this experience does not become a support for a person, but is an even greater factor of stupor. At the moment when it is necessary to make a difficult choice in life, a person in fact does not have a positive experience, but only a negative one, which, of course, tells him that everything can only be bad.
People often talk about such people - pessimists. And this is not surprising, because they are always sure that nothing will work out. So prompts them accumulated negative experience.
Doubts away - how to make a choice between the two?
No one can ever make mistakes in their life. We do not have such an opportunity. However, you can learn to make the right choice in life and make fewer mistakes. Today, such a skill is given in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Understanding the peculiarities of his anal vector, his character, his inner subconscious motives of actions, any person can adjust his life so that life is not painfully ashamed and difficult, but pleasant and joyful.