Don't worry if you don't like someone. We are all different. And this reaction reminds us that no one is perfect. Including ourselves.
1. Accept the fact that you can't get along with everyone.
This is fine. Some people like you, and some people can't stand you. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you or with others. We all just have our own preferences.
The decisive role is played by the difference in characters. an introvert will seem boring, and a convinced realist may seem inadequate good mood optimist.
We tend to invest in what we love. Suppose you are annoyed by one of your acquaintances or colleagues. Of course, you will not seek to meet him and keep in touch. But sometimes this approach can turn into open hostility.
2. Try to understand the interlocutor
Maybe your mother-in-law does not consider you frivolous, as you always thought. And the colleague is not really trying to set you up. Take a closer look, and perhaps you will understand the motives of their actions or even extract some useful advice.
Don't get angry if there really is a good reason for criticism against you. You will only make yourself look bad. Just take my word for it and take the critical remark into service.
3. Keep your emotions under control
It is up to you how you react to any given situation. She can drive you crazy if you let it. Don't waste your strength.
Don't give in if someone hurts you or tries to piss you off. Sometimes "smile and wave" is the best method.
It is very important to initially treat everyone you meet with respect. This does not mean that you should always follow the lead and agree with everyone.
You have to be polite towards other people. Thus, you will remain in your opinion, keep calm and the advantage will be on your side.
4. Don't take everything to heart
Very often we simply misunderstand the person. Perhaps he simply did not quite accurately express his thought, or his day did not work out in the morning. You should not take it out on someone, because he can break out on you in return. This will only exacerbate the situation. Be above this, concentrate on the matter, not paying attention to the inadequate reaction of the interlocutor.
If you feel tired and take a break, take a walk. Set boundaries for your personal space where no one can disturb you.
5. Speak calmly
Our way of communicating is often much more important than that what exactly we are talking about. If the situation has heated up, then it's time to talk about it. However, the dialogue should not be aggressive. It is better to use sentences that begin with the words “I”, “me”, “me”, for example: “It annoys me when you do this. Could you act differently?" Most likely, the interlocutor will listen to you and also express his opinion.
Sometimes it pays to call on a third party for help. Another person can objectively assess the situation. Maybe after the dialogue you will not become friends with the one with whom the conflict has matured, but at least you will be able to communicate normally.
Work with people you find hard to find mutual language, is a rewarding experience that will show you how you can deal with problems.
6. Prioritize
Not everything deserves your time and attention. You must decide whether you really want to keep in touch with this or that person, or whether it is better to concentrate, for example, on work.
Weigh the situation. Will it get worse over time? Sooner or later there will be a problem. If the conflict is ripe simply by coincidence, then you will quickly be able to deal with it.
7. Don't get defensive
If you feel constant dissatisfaction with you from someone else, if someone focuses only on your shortcomings, you should not rush at this person with your fists. This is not a way out. Such behavior will only irritate him. Instead, it is better to ask directly what exactly does not suit him. Gossip or harassment can be a sign that they want to manipulate you or even demonstrate their power.
If a person wants you to treat him with respect, he should treat you the same way.
There is one psychological trick: speak quickly when expressing your disagreement with someone. So the interlocutor will have less time to answer. Slow down if you feel that he is ready to agree with you.
8. Remember that you are the creator of your own happiness.
Of course, it is difficult to soberly assess the situation if someone is getting on your nerves a lot. However, never let others drag you down.
If someone's words really hurt you to the core, sort yourself out. Maybe you are not confident in yourself or are you worried about some work moments? If so, focus on solving the problems that are important to you.
Don't compare yourself to others, we are all different.
Remind yourself often of your accomplishments and don't let anyone ruin your mood over a little thing!
I found it on one site... Unfortunately, I don't remember which one... I'm reposting.
REALLY WORKS! So read carefully...
My enemy or how to communicate with an unpleasant person
An unpleasant, annoying person can sometimes turn our life into a tragedy. But why does it happen that we react calmly to someone, even if, in our opinion, he is wrong, and acts differently than we do, and we react to someone painfully and are very worried, even if we see this man for the first and last time?
Psychology comes from the fact that if any person is unpleasant to us, then the reason for this is in the projection. Projection is a defense mechanism based on the fact that a quality repressed from one's personality is attributed to another person. We are annoyed by what we do not allow ourselves to do or what we do not allow ourselves to be. By unpleasant people often our relatives turn out to be: partners, children, parents. And then it not only poisons life with the constant presence of a loved one in it annoying person, but also destroys relationships, causes feelings of guilt or shame.
If you find that you are indeed projecting some repressed traits of your personality onto another person, this does not mean that you must definitely remove the projection. This means that you can increase your strength. Strength increases due to the fact that the repressed quality is integrated into the personality and returns integrity to the personality.
The exercise.
Think of a person who is unpleasant to you, or an abstract character who personifies an unpleasant, annoying quality. Describe it out loud or to yourself in as much detail as possible. Tell me why he annoys you so much, why he is unpleasant to you. Is he angry, smug, accusing, critical, disgruntled, rejecting, sarcastic, complaining, arrogant, etc.?
Show it, play it. Be that person and act like he does. Speak as he speaks, move as he moves, gesticulate as he does. Speaking like him, use phrases, words that he says, referring to you or other people. Copy the tone, timbre of his voice. Transform into him. Feel the field that he creates around him, the atmosphere of his being.
What is the strength of such a person, what is his truth? Feel that power, allow yourself to be that power. Feel that it is impersonal, that it is just a force, a quality, an energy. Step deep into it, to the source of this power and be this power. Let this force move you and manifest itself through you, through your movements, through your body. Let the image of this power arise in you. It could be real or mythical character, plant or animal.
How could this strength, this quality or this energy be useful to you in life? How could you use it to solve various life difficulties? How could you interact with an unpleasant person with this power? How would you resolve your conflict with him? In what other areas of your life could this power be useful to you?
Reminder for communicating with an unpleasant person:
1. Take a break in communication with such a person in order to restore contact with yourself and understand what irritates or worries you so much in this person;
2. Try to figure out who you feel next to such a person, who, what you are next to him;
3. Give yourself the opportunity to express the emotions that he evokes in you. If he makes you angry, allow yourself to be angry; if he irritates you, be irritated; if he hurts you, feel the pain. Call the feeling by its name. See if there is another feeling behind this feeling. Sometimes resentment goes away after you allow yourself to experience emotions and express them;
4. Explain to yourself, preferably out loud or by putting your thoughts on paper, what is the essence of your complaints about this person. Why is he unpleasant to you? Why do you dislike the quality he exhibits? Why did you decide that you can not show such a quality or be such a person? When did you realize this? How did you know it was bad to be that person? Is it related to the norms and rules that are accepted in your family or did you decide this based on your experience?
5. Be aware of what you would like from this person. How would you like to deal with it? Can you afford it? If not, why not, what's stopping you?
Sometimes a person can be annoying to such an extent that you want to cause him physical harm or destroy him. This can be very frightening, cause feelings of shame or guilt, and make it difficult to adequately deal with the situation. It is important to remember here that such desires are usually caused not by a real need to destroy or spoil health, but simply not by the ability to express strong feelings for this person or not by the ability to take some kind of response. Points 3 and 5 help relieve tension, restore contact with yourself, your feelings and motivations.
Speak aloud, referring to an unpleasant person: “I am angry / offended at you / ... Sometimes I feel this way about you strong feeling... that I want you ... This is caused ... Actually, I want ... When you are not in my life, I can ... "
6. Find a detached position from which you can look at the unpleasant person and yourself with equal dispassion. You can do this in one of the following ways:
a) find a place in the room that will be yours, and put there some thing that symbolizes you. Then find a place that will belong to an unpleasant person, and also put some thing there. Then find a third place, which will belong to a complete stranger or some wise person, real or mythical figure, who can consider your situation impartially. Sit in turn, first in the place of the unpleasant person, then in your own place, and then change to the third;
b) Feel your inner being, no matter what that means to you. What place on earth do you associate it with? It can be an imaginary, non-existent place. Take yourself there in your imagination, feel yourself there. Feel the power of this place. Now, from this place, look at the unpleasant person and yourself.
7. Do an exercise in mastering the power of an unpleasant person, highlighted in italics in the text, and try to understand what your act, what your reaction in interaction with such a person would be the most correct, appropriate, adequate to his behavior. Try and do so.
When something goes wrong, it's always your fault, not him. Familiar situation? When a person behaves this way and you have to tiptoe in front of them, use the strategy below to avoid conflict and prevent similar situations from occurring in the future.
Such a situation can be repeated many times, and if a person who adequately assesses the situation is involved in it, the problem can be solved fairly quickly; if it affects one who is in error, conflict is inevitable.
This behavior is based on low self-esteem. It seems to a person that everything that happens in his life is somehow due to the fact that they are trying to use him. For example, if you keep him waiting, he will decide that you don't care about his condition or that you don't respect him enough to show up to the meeting on time.
If you have a high self-evaluation, you will not hastily write off a person’s lateness to your attitude; you rather assume that something happened. Or decide that the person makes you wait for yourself, trying to feel your own significance. In this situation, do this: first, do not jump to conclusions that such actions indicate disrespect for you; secondly, if you do come to this conclusion, do not get angry - because you do not need someone else's respect in order to respect yourself.
The person with low self-esteem thinks (in most cases on a subconscious level) something like this: "This person does not like me and does not respect me enough to behave with me in this way." By accepting ourselves, we accept others. We perceive the outside world through the filter of our own self-image, and if this representation is distorted, our relationships with people worsen.
"I have to look at him!"
That is why you always want to see the driver who cut us on the road. Such an act can always be explained, but if the driver looks like he did it on purpose, from a lack of respect, we get even more angry. If this driver had been an old woman, we would not have been very angry, assuming that she simply did not see well, and we would not have taken what happened to heart. In addition, we always want that person behind the wheel to confirm our idea of \u200b\u200bwho exactly can drive a car like this, because it enhances the feeling of control over the situation - to know everything and always be right.
Low self-esteem makes a person self-centered, he begins to believe that the world revolves around him, and takes into account only own desires and needs.
Self-respect is the basis of self-esteem. If you don't respect yourself, you cannot respect others. And if you also believe that others do not respect you, then you admit that their actions were deliberate.
Psychological decision.
Are you tired of such phrases: “Because of you, I missed my turn” or “Why did you order me this? You know I don't eat fried food," or "Why aren't the documents prepared? You had all night to do this, didn't you? Then read on.
Solving this problem is quite simple. However, first pay attention to the following: no one has the right to insult you. If you feel like you've become someone's psychological punching bag, do whatever it takes to make a difference.
Remember: people will treat you the way you let them. If you are dealing with a person who is at least somewhat reasonable, make it clear that his behavior is unacceptable.
But let's analyze a situation where it is not possible to do this - for example, if you are dealing with your boss, or with your wife, or with not very close family members.
The key to solving the problem is simple: give the interlocutor what he needs so badly, and do it at the moment when he in a good mood. Thus, by the next aggravation of the situation, such a psychological climate will be created that your “enemy” will consider it inappropriate to find fault with you. He can choose another target for attacks, but this target will no longer be you. By applying this strategy, you become a source for a person psychological support. That is why he cannot cut the notorious branch on which his psyche “sits”.
1. Inspire respect for yourself.
The best defense- attack. Create a psychological reserve for your opponent so that he can use it if necessary. The following are simple ways for this.
- Criticize a person only if emergency,
while using the methods described in the article "How to criticize without hurting feelings." - When someone makes a mistake, support them and don't be too hard on them.
- Be tactful and polite when communicating.
- Do not discuss the person with others.
- Tell someone you know in common that you deeply respect and appreciate this person.
- Never humiliate the interlocutor and do not show your disrespect for him, especially in the presence of other people.
All these actions seem simple, but sometimes they are difficult to put into practice. However, their role in changing the relationship with a difficult person can be decisive.
2. Change the person's idea of himself.
You have to get the person to identify with someone who won't pick on you and blame you for their problems.
This can be done with a simple but well thought out phrase. This situation requires that the interlocutor perceives himself as a good-natured person, so you can say something like: "I admire your calmness when this craziness begins" or: "I really appreciate that you are patient with me."
Such phrases will help to use such a powerful psychological factor as internal consistency. With these types of phrases, the person will feel an inner need to act in accordance with your ideas about him, since you have touched his ego. People need to behave in accordance with how they see themselves and how,
in their opinion, they are perceived by others. It sounds very simple, but the results of numerous studies confirm that the image of the self is very easy to change through this technique. People with low self-esteem may do foolish things, but the rejection of self-perception is not one of them.
3. Get the person to do something for you.
Now you become a source of support for this person, his admirer. Criticizing you would mean to him the same thing as criticizing himself, and even worse, because you seem to appreciate him. more, than he himself. (In the following article, How to Deal with Unbalanced People, you will find more useful methods solution to this problem.)
Real life example.
The restaurant manager yells at the waiter for any, even the most insignificant reason.
Waiter [choosing an appropriate time]. Do you know what I respect you most for, Mr. Harris? You are always so calm in a tense environment, I just admire it.
Mr Harris. Well, sometimes I still lose my temper...
Waiter. None of us are immune from this. But you control yourself more than anyone else.
Now Mr. Harris sees himself through the eyes of a waiter. The next time a manager wants to raise his voice to his subordinate, he will stop himself (most likely subconsciously), because he does not want to ruin the image of a person who knows how to control himself.
The waiter, in addition, turns to the manager for advice, again choosing the right moment for this:
Mr Harris, I know you are a wise man. This is very personal, but I want to ask you for advice on a problem that I had with a friend ...
The manager will gladly give advice to the waiter by making an emotional investment in him. As with any investment, a person cares about it. further fate. He will never harm the object of his investments. Mr. Harris will no longer yell at the waiter.
Short review.
To calm an irritable, short-tempered person, do the following:
1) inspire him with respect for yourself;
2) change his idea of himself - perceiving himself as a different person, he will begin to behave like a different person;
3) make him put his feelings into you.
Surely everyone met people who caused irritation. Not a problem if we have to occasionally communicate with them. But sometimes we have to deal with such people on an ongoing basis. After all, it can be both business partners, colleagues, and acquaintances, family members or relatives. In such cases, you need to know how to communicate with them. We offer you nine options for solving the problem.
You can only change yourself
When you deal with people, always remember that you cannot change them. You can try to do this, but the chances of success are extremely small. Therefore, it is best to change your attitude to the situation. Try to calmly perceive people unpleasant to you, because you cannot influence them.
Set boundaries
Decide what you are willing to tolerate and what not, and stick to that position. After all, everyone has the right to protect their personal space. If someone tries to cross the line, then make it clear that this is unacceptable. It is unlikely that the incident will happen again. 
Inform people about your position
If an annoying person, for example, annoys you with long conversations, then the next time you meet him, let him know that you have only this or that amount of time left. Moreover, this must be done at the very beginning of the conversation. This will be fair to him, because you will inform him in advance about your plans. If, instead of live communication, you prefer to communicate through Email or other means of communication, please let us know as well.
Be firm when needed
If a person does not adhere to established boundaries, then force him to do so. To begin with, you can limit yourself to a polite remark. If he does not understand hints, then it makes sense to explain everything directly, without beating around the bush. Of course, this may seem impolite to some. Of course, you can condone a person, but do not be surprised when one day he shamelessly invades your personal space, causing you a lot of inconvenience. And in any case, you will be forced to show firmness in order to return to a comfortable state.
Ignore
Ignoring in some cases is very effective tool. After all, when you answer a person, you give him a reason to continue to behave in an annoying way. If you ignore him, then he will have no choice but to turn to someone else. In addition, such an opaque hint from you may help him to think about his behavior and draw the right conclusions. 
Don't take everything personally
In most cases, people who annoy you behave in this way not only towards you, but also towards others. So, for example, you may have a friend who is constantly negative. When meeting with you, he does not miss the opportunity to criticize something. In this case, you might think that he is set up so exclusively towards you. However, once in the company of other people, you will see that with them he behaves in the same way. This will help you to objectively look at the situation and deal with it.
Watch how others interact with people who annoy you
This practice can be very instructive. Even if the other person is not very good at communicating with the person who irritates both of you, observing from the outside will allow you to take a fresh look at the situation and draw useful conclusions that will help you in the future. How to organize it? During a conversation with an annoying person, invite someone else to join you. Try repeating this experiment with different people. Believe me, you will be surprised by the results obtained from observation. 
Show kindness
People often act in an annoying way just because they really lack empathy and support. Listen to what they have to say and be involved. Don't force yourself on them, just empathize and do something nice.
Help
Beneath the self-assured façade, there may well be a cry for help. Find out if the annoying person needs some kind of assistance. And if it is in your power, then help him. Sometimes they really need help, but they are unable to formulate their request.
It only takes being in an elevator with someone to see how little people can say to each other.
Slavomir Vrublevsky
Talking with individual people, you are convinced how wrong the classic was, who believed that the greatest luxury in life is communication. It is sometimes very difficult to have a conversation with some, but it is necessary! Because our social circle, unfortunately, is not limited to relatives and friends.
Every day we come across dozens of strangers - with a cashier or a manager in a store, with clients, subordinates or a boss at work, with employees of a tax, pension fund, clinic, kindergarten or school ... And what if the interlocutor does not cause positive emotions?
Rules for communicating with an unpleasant person
This problem is not new. Psychologists seem to have thoroughly investigated the features of communication in case the interlocutor does not cause sympathy, and offer simple rules behavior. Let's deal with them.
Don't copy behavior
When a person behaves in the best way: rude, screaming, saying offensive things - this always causes strong reciprocal emotions. I would like to respond sharply, maybe even rude. But psychologists warn: do not stoop to the level of a boor, do not argue with a fool. If you are drawn into an unpleasant incident in transport, do not react, turn away. If a client has been rude to you, all the more you cannot respond to him in the same way.
Keeping calm
This is the most important thing when dealing with an aggressive person. In calmness, composure - your strength. Try to answer without raising your voice, and be sure to watch your facial expressions and gestures. It is difficult to maintain a serene expression on the face, and it is not necessary. If you are talking to a raging client, look at him kindly, with sympathy. Such a reaction can cool and soothe.
Don't follow your feelings
Sometimes this or that person with whom you are forced to communicate initially causes hostility for no apparent reason. Maybe you don't like his voice, or his smile, or the way he dresses, or maybe your biofields just don't match.
But all this is subjective things that have nothing to do with the case. In this case, you need to overpower yourself, give yourself an attitude: this person is not obliged to like you - you are not going to be friends with him, you just need to discuss, for example, the terms of the contract.
Don't try to please everyone
Sometimes a person feels uncomfortable when communicating, because it seems to him that he is not attractive to the interlocutor. First, you should not take all his words personally. And secondly... Yes, we are all to some extent dependent on the attitude of others around us, but we must remember: no one can please absolutely everyone.
Therefore, even if on a physical level you feel antipathy towards you emanating from a counterpart, tell yourself: I don’t care if he likes me or not, it is important for me to achieve positive result from this meeting. Be confident, be extremely correct, calm and think only about business. Perhaps this behavior in a few minutes will change the mood of the interlocutor.
Don't respond to taunts
If the interlocutor is trying to defuse the situation, fine. So he wants to contact you for successful work. But sometimes the counterpart in this way tries to provoke you, to piss you off. Learn to remain calm and simply ignore everything that is unworthy of your reaction.
Use a sense of humor
You too can use your sense of humor for the benefit of your communication. An appropriate joke or witticism can change the interlocutor's attitude towards you, and his reaction can prove that in fact he is not at all antipathetic to you.
Love the interlocutor
Yes, psychologists offer such a turn! Perhaps, they say, you really caused a negative reaction from your counterpart. Hit him with a careless word or your pressure. Or maybe, in general, you look so beautiful that you involuntarily aroused in him a base feeling - envy. Well, now fix it. Demonstrate your ability to listen, compliment appropriately, empathize and understand. After all, as you know, The best way defeat the enemy - love him.
Unpleasant types
Psychologists not only thought over the rules of behavior with an unpleasant interlocutor, but also analyzed and classified the types of these same interlocutors. It turned out to be a very impressive list. These characters are like masks. Very often people wear them in order to hide their complexes, fears, put up protection or to manipulate others.
Nihilist
He is not satisfied with your position, he does not agree with any of your approaches. Everything you suggest is bad. He expresses his opinion forcefully. Straightforward and unrestrained.
You must act subtly. Do not prove your case with foam at the mouth, but try to find a compromise. Calmly and kindly ask the interlocutor what, in his opinion, can remove the differences, how he would finalize and develop your theses. Decisions should preferably be formulated in the words of the Nihilist. If you can't reach an agreement, just reschedule the meeting.
know-it-all
Self-confident type. He has his own opinion on everything. He knows everything better than others. Constantly trying to seize the initiative, which is able to suppress the interlocutor.
The know-it-all needs to be reminded that others also want to have their say. Let him formulate intermediate conclusions. From time to time, ask him difficult questions that the participants in the discussion can answer.
Why
This interlocutor produces only questions, often far-fetched and abstract. It looks like he wants to confuse you. You can, of course, go his way and neutralize by answering the question with a question.
Talkative
Talks too much, tries to take the initiative. Tactlessly interrupts the interlocutor, without listening to the end. Doesn't care about time - his spits can last as long as you don't stop him. Do not hesitate to interrupt his monologues. Don't let it get off topic. Ask questions to other participants in the conversation.
Unapproachable
This one shows no interest in the topic of discussion. He is clearly bored. It seems that he made a mistake with the door and was not supposed to meet with you at all.
Your task is to stir up the Unapproachable. Attack him with questions, be interested in his opinion. Ask: "Don't you agree? What do you think?"
important bird
In everything he sees a catch and an attempt on his authority. He considers himself more significant and higher than others present during the discussion. Tactfully make it clear that you are all equal in both competence and position.
Careful
Silent and listening. Perhaps he is afraid to say something out of place and look ridiculous. Your task is to convince him how important his opinion is to you.
Aggressive
He produces negative emotions and thus tries to take over, break, suppress. Imagine that there is an impenetrable wall between you, through which his fiery arrows do not penetrate. And stay calm and friendly.
Nerd
He is not satisfied with everything, he is not sure of anything. No need to convince him, appeal to logic and common sense. Listen quietly and do your own thing. And if he criticizes you, don't pay attention.
These are the types of unpleasant interlocutors we meet. To oppose them, it seems, is best restraint, interest and a sense of humor. Only in this way can you get what you want from them.