It is sometimes thought that effective communication is an instinctive skill. But in life, when we communicate with others, very often something goes wrong. We say one thing, and a person hears something else, as a result, misunderstandings, disappointments and conflicts arise. All this causes problems in family, school and work relationships. Many of us need to learn a number of important skills in order to communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you're trying to improve your communication with your spouse, kids, or your boss and co-workers, learning these skills will help deepen connections with others, build trust and respect, increase problem-solving efficiency, improve teamwork, and improve overall social and emotional health.

What is effective communication?

Effective Communication is more than just information sharing. It's about understanding the emotions and intentions behind the information you receive. In addition to being able to convey the message clearly, you also need to listen in such a way that you understand the full meaning of what is being said, and that your interlocutor feels heard and understood.

In addition to the ability to use words, effective communication includes four other skills:

1. Active (engaged) listening
2. Non-verbal communication
3. stress management
4. Self confidence

Although these skills need to be learned, communication will become more effective when it flows spontaneously and not in a pattern. For instance, written speech rarely has the same effect as spontaneous speech. Of course, developing these skills will take time and effort. The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and effective your communication skills will become.

What gets in the way of effective communication?

Common barriers to effective communication are:

• Stress and uncontrollable emotions. When you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you are more likely to misread and send other people confusing non-verbal cues and use harmful behaviors. To avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, you need to learn how to calm down before continuing a conversation.
• Lack of attention. A person cannot communicate effectively while multitasking. If you check your phone, plan what to say next, or daydream, you will almost certainly miss non-verbal cues in a conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and learn to focus.
• Inappropriate body language. Non-verbal communication should confirm what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing but your body language says something else, the listener will feel cheated. For example, you can't say "yes" while shaking your head "no".
• Negative body language. If you disagree with the person or what is being said, you can use negative body language to respond to that message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don't have to agree or approve of what is being said, but for effective communication and in order not to cause a defensive reaction in the interlocutor, it is important to avoid negative signals.

Skill 1: Learn to actively listen

When we communicate, we often focus on what we want to say. Although effective communication is more about the ability to listen than to speak beautifully. Listening also includes not only understanding the information received, but also understanding the emotions that the speaker is trying to convey.

Exists a big difference between active and simple listening. When you really listen, you are involved in what is being said, you hear the smallest changes in the intonation of the voice that tell how the interlocutor feels and what emotions he is trying to convey. When you actively listen, you give the person the opportunity to feel heard and understood, and this strengthens the bond between you.

In addition, by communicating in this way, you are "in the process", which reduces stress and helps maintain physical and emotional well-being. If, for example, the person you are talking to is calm, then active listening will help you calm down too. Similarly, if a person is agitated, you can help calm them down by listening carefully and making them feel understood.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, active listening will often occur. naturally. If it doesn't, try following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will be.

How to become an active listener

• Focus on the interlocutor. You can't actively listen if you're constantly checking your phone or thinking about something else. You need to focus on the present moment to catch the subtle nuances and important non-verbal cues in a conversation. If you find it difficult to concentrate at some points, then try repeating the spoken words to yourself - this will enhance the effect and help you focus.
• Turn right ear. Strange as it may sound, the left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for speech and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, focusing on the right ear will help you better identify the emotional nuances of what is being said.
• Avoid pauses or attempts to redirect the conversation to your own issues., saying something like: "If you think this is bad, let me tell you what happened to me." You will not be able to focus on the message of the interlocutor if you formulate to yourself what you are going to say next. Often, the speaker can count from your facial expression and know that your thoughts are somewhere else.
• Show your interest in what is being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and accepting. Encourage the speaker to keep talking with small verbal comments such as "yes" or "uh huh."
• Try to avoid ratings. To communicate effectively with someone, you don't have to like the person and agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you need to keep aside your assessment, condemnation and criticism in order to fully understand a person. Difficult conversations, even successful ones, rarely lead to a warm connection between people.
• Let's feedback . If you feel misunderstood, reflect it in a paraphrase. "Here's what I'm hearing..." or "It sounds like you mean..." are great ways to "reflect" what you've heard. The main thing is not to repeat verbatim what the interlocutor said, otherwise you will sound insincere or stupid. Instead, repeat the message in your own words. Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say..." or "Is that what you mean?".

Hear the emotion behind the words

Emotions convey the high frequencies of human speech. You can tune in more to these frequencies and therefore better understand what others are saying by using the tiny muscles in the middle ear (the smallest in the body). You can develop them by singing, playing a wind instrument, or by listening to certain types of high-pitched music (like a symphony orchestra or violin, not low-pitched rock, pop, or hip-hop).

Habit 2: Pay attention to non-verbal cues

The way you look, listen, move and react to another person tells him much more about your feelings than words. Non-verbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, tone of voice, and even muscle tension and breathing.

Developing the ability to understand and use non-verbal communication will help you connect with people and express what you mean, navigate difficult situations and improve relationships at home and at work

• You can increase the effectiveness of communication by using open body language - do not cross your arms, stand in open posture, or sit on the edge of a chair and maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to.
• You can also use body language to emphasize or reinforce your verbal message—for example, pat your friend on the back when congratulating them on their success, or bang your fist on the table to emphasize your message.

How to Improve Your Reading Skill in Non-Verbal Language

• Consider individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different non-verbal gestures in communication, so when reading body language it is important to take into account age, culture, religion, gender and emotional condition. For example, an American teenager, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman use non-verbal cues differently.
• Look at non-verbal cues as a group of cues. Don't look for too much in one gesture or non-verbal signal. Consider all the non-verbal cues you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice and body posture. Everyone can accidentally misunderstand, for example, avoid eye contact, or briefly cross their arms without putting any sense into it. Look at the signals as a whole in order to better "read" a person.

How to Improve Your Non-Verbal Language Transmission Skill

• Use non-verbal cues that match your words and not contradict them. If you say one thing but your body language says something else, then the listener will feel confused or suspect that you are being dishonest. For example, sitting with your arms crossed and nodding your head “yes” will not correspond to your agreement with what the interlocutor is saying.
• Customize Your Non-Verbal Signals According to the Context. Your tone of voice will be different when you are speaking to a child and to a group of adults, for example. Similarly, consider the emotional state and cultural background of the person with whom you are communicating.
• Avoid negative body language. Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings, even if you don't feel them. If you're nervous about a situation—a job interview, an important presentation, or a first date—you can use positive body language to signal trust even if you don't feel it. Instead of cautiously entering the room with your head down and your eyes on the floor, and slipping unnoticed into a chair, try standing up straight with your shoulders back, smiling, and maintaining eye contact with a firm handshake. This will help you feel more confident and the other person calmer.

Skill 3: Keep stress under control

How many times have you felt stressed when you disagreed with your spouse, kids, boss, friends or co-workers and then said or did something you later regretted? If you learn how to quickly reduce stress and return to a calm state, you can avoid such regrets, and in many cases you will also be able to calm the other person. It is only when you are in a calm and relaxed state that you will be able to know if the situation requires feedback from you or if the other person's signals indicate that it is better for you to remain silent now. For example, in situations such as a job interview, a business presentation, a meeting, or meeting a family loved one, it is important to manage your emotions, skillfully persuade and communicate effectively under pressure.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When the conversation heats up, you need something quick and effective to ease the emotional tension. By learning how to quickly reduce stress, you will be able to regulate your feelings and behave with dignity.

• Become aware of when you started to tense up. Your body will let you know about the tension during communication. Are your muscles or stomach tight? Hands clenched? Breathing shallow? Do you "forget" to breathe?
• Take a moment to calm down before continuing the conversation, or put it aside.
• Call on your feelings to help. The best way quickly and reliably relieve stress - use the senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell or movement. For example, you could eat a mint, squeeze an anti-stress ball in your pocket, take a few deep breaths in and out, contract and relax your muscles, or just remember a soothing sensory-rich image. Each person reacts differently to sensations, so you need to find those sensors that will calm you down.
• Look at the situation with humor. At correct use Humor is a great way to relieve social stress. When you or those around you begin to take things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by telling a joke or a funny story.
• Be prepared to compromise. Sometimes, if you both give in a little, you will be able to find a middle ground that will reduce the stress level for all involved. If you understand that something is much more important to the other person than you, then it will be easier to compromise, and this will be a good investment in the future of the relationship.
• Agree, even if you disagree, if necessary and take time so everyone can calm down. Go for a walk if possible, or meditate for a few minutes. Physical activity or being in a quiet place to restore balance can quickly reduce stress.

Communicate effectively while staying calm under pressure

• Use the pullback tactic to give yourself time to think.. Before answering a question, ask to repeat it or ask a clarifying question.
• Take a break to collect your thoughts. Silence is not always bad - a pause will help to take control of yourself and not rush to answer.
• Express only one thought at a time and provide an example or supporting information. If your answer is too long or you have several different thoughts, you risk losing the listener's interest. Stick to the main point, give an example, and then evaluate the listener's reaction to see if you should voice the second argument.
• Speak your words clearly. In many cases, how you say it is just as important as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain a level tone, and maintain eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.
• Summarize and then stop. Summarize your answer, and then stop talking, even if the room falls silent. You don't have to fill the silence with your conversation.

Skill 4: Become confident

Direct, confident self-expression makes communication clear and will increase self-esteem and the quality of decisions made. Being confident means expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs in an open and honest way, while at the same time respecting others. This does not mean being hostile, aggressive or demanding. Effective communication is always about the other person, not about winning an argument or getting others to agree with you.

How to become self-confident

• Learn to value yourself and your opinion. Your thoughts are just as important as the thoughts of any other people.
• Know your needs and desires. Learn to express them without attacking the rights of others.
• Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It's okay to be pissed, but you have to be respectful.
• Get positive feedback. Accept compliments with gratitude, learn from your own mistakes, ask for help when you need it.
• Learn to say "no". Know your limits and don't let others cross them. Look for alternative outlets so that everyone feels good as a result.

We communicate with many people every day. Many of us are familiar with the situation when, during the discussion of an issue, there is a feeling that the interlocutor does not show due interest in the conversation. This causes natural discontent and irritation. Emerged negative emotions interfere with the perception of information. People stop understanding each other. A familiar situation, isn't it?

Therefore, the ability to involve the interlocutor in a conversation and interest him helps to feel free everywhere: at work, at home, among friends. Effective communication helps to realize oneself as a person. As a result, you can achieve career growth, create a family in which harmony will reign, and always be a welcome guest in a friendly circle.

How to learn to communicate

Unfortunately, this is not taught in school. Someone is lucky, and the necessary knowledge was received in childhood from their parents, and someone attends trainings where personal skills are developed under the guidance of experienced specialists effective communication . Those who do not have such an opportunity, independently develop their abilities. There are certain rules, the observance of which will help to master the difficult science of communication:

The need to establish contact with the interlocutor. After all, not only you want to be heard, but also he. Everyone has the right to express their point of view. In this case, it is recommended to keep the conversation at the same pace as the person you are talking to. It is even desirable to take a similar pose as he does.

Plays a huge role non-verbal communication, namely gestures and facial expressions, through which you can show your response. They are no less important than words. One look or gesture can say a lot about a person.

Information must be reported in substance and in sequence. It often happens that a lot of time is spent on superficial judgments, instead of a clear concrete statement of the essence. The fewer long complex phrases and common words there are, the more likely it is to achieve mutual understanding. And for this, you yourself need to decide what goal should be achieved as a result of the conversation.

During a conversation, do not interrupt the speaker with criticism or any recommendations. To begin with, you need, at a minimum, to make sure that you are understood exactly. For example, ask a question like: “Do you understand what I said?” If the interlocutor still does not understand you, try to convey your idea in other words, it may make sense to re-formulate your position.

In the process of communication, one cannot passively perceive the information of the interlocutor, because he subconsciously reacts to what opinion he produces on you. You should show the speaker with words, gestures or facial expressions that you are listening carefully and understand what is being said. If something is not clear, you need to clarify this point in the conversation.

In the process of communication, one should pay attention not only to the text, but also to the context and subtext. After all effective communication implies a set of such concepts as: text, that is, the words that we use; context - the point of view of the speaker; subtext - motivations and emotions that are present in the text. Communication is not only words, but also insight, awareness, understanding.

It is very important to identify the interests of the person you are talking to in order to find a common perspective or unifying motivations. This is necessary to achieve agreement and mutual understanding.

Mastering communication skills will provide an opportunity to confidently talk with another person, in spite of any obstacles and without feeling discomfort, as well as confidently start a conversation and stop it at the right time. Most importantly, you can always achieve your goals.

In the art of communication, it is very important to be able to listen and understand the person with whom you are talking.. By explaining to people your intentions and the considerations from which you proceed, you will be able to prevent many misunderstandings, quarrels and conflicts. Honesty in a conversation with an interlocutor is often the only way out of a conflict situation. But the truth should be spoken not in order to humiliate the interlocutor, but, on the contrary, in order to elevate him in his own eyes and clarify your position.

What hinders and what promotes communication? The reasons for misunderstanding between people can be different: political, religious views, outlook, psychological features. However, the main reason lies in the inability to hear the interlocutor. The most important part of the communication process is the ability to listen. If a person carefully listens to his interlocutor, then he is educated, delves into the problem of the speaker and, as it were, helps him to formulate his thoughts correctly. The communication process is complex, it is influenced various factors: mood, set of circumstances, character person, his sociability or, conversely, shyness. Depending on the type of communication, formal or informal, it is necessary to choose the right demeanor, tone, gestures, words and expressions.

Informal communication- it communication at home, with parents and friends; formal - at work, while studying, with unfamiliar people. In communication, we often allow something that interferes with mutual understanding. This is the use of offensive words and expressions, offensive nicknames, unnecessary abbreviations. Contribute to the establishment interpersonal relationships signs of attention that can soothe and have a lasting effect. "Hello", "thank you", "please", "excuse me" ... - these simple words have power over our moods. It is very important that they are always present in the communication of people at work, in public places, and used in the family.

So what is culture communication? If a person correctly expresses his thoughts, knows how to behave, treats his interlocutor with respect, we say that this person owns a culture of communication.

There are rules, the implementation of which helps to establish good relationship with people:

• Communication on an equal footing, without rudeness and servility.
• Respect for the personal opinion of the interlocutor.
• Lack of desire to find out who is right and who is wrong.
• Communication at the level of requests, not orders.
• Search for compromise solutions.
• The ability to appreciate the decision of another.
• The ability to accept the experience of others.

If a person does not know how to enter into a conversation, then you should choose any interesting topic for conversation and the time when the person being addressed is not busy with any work. You should always remember that the other person is not like you, and you need to be able to look at things through his eyes, especially in conflict situations.

Respect for a person impossible without respect for his point of view, even if it does not agree with yours. You can cultivate a respectful attitude towards people only if you learn to see individuality in each person, that is, those character traits that are inherent only to him.

Each of us deserves respect. By respecting the other, you respect yourself, so if you don’t have a relationship with someone, it’s in your power to make an effort to put it in order. Psychologists give good advice, which is as follows: do not forget about the interests of your interlocutor. Your lively and sincere interest in what he is interested in will cause him to be animated and enthusiastic.

There are several important rules conducting an open and honest conversation with an “uncomfortable interlocutor”, which both adults and adolescents need to know:

Use "language-I". Starting a phrase with the words: “From my point of view ...” or “The way I see it ...”, you will soften the conversation and show the interlocutor that you are expressing only your point of view, without claiming to be the ultimate truth. Thus, you recognize his right to have his own opinion. Surely you will be listened to much calmer and more attentively.

Try to talk about a specific case or behavior without jumping to generalizations. For example, generalizations like: "There was no case that you came home on time (did your homework)" will not help in any way. This start of the conversation will give the teenager the opportunity to get away from the problem under discussion. He will begin to remember and prove that he once did something on time.

Try to show the interlocutor that his behavior in the first place interferes with him. In order to create conditions under which an adult or teenager would want to change their behavior, it is necessary to try to explain how much they lose in life because of their own behavior.

Invite the interlocutor to change the behavior. Explain to him what exactly he can do in this situation in order to correct it. It is possible that since you do not want to offend him, it will be quite difficult for you to tell him the truth. However, remember: by remaining silent, you can harm him.

When talking to a teenager or adult, don't expect to be understood right away or to agree with you. If in a conversation the interlocutor takes offense at you, do not be afraid to patiently explain your point of view to him again. Pay close attention to his reaction to your words. Try to achieve mutual understanding, use a return to what has been said, ask again and agree, do not forget about clarifying questions and summarizing what you heard ... Of course, for some, such building relationships may seem like a matter of too long, but all this will take much less time, effort and emotions than action-reaction communication, since such a conversation does not produce any result at all.

Most often honesty is the best policy in dealing with people. It's amazing how often we start conversations with clever strategies and tactics, forgetting to try to just speak the truth first. Honest dialogue is the most effective, simple and reliable means to turn conflict into cooperation.

Introduction

“The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this skill than for anything else in the world.”

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a "social being". This means that he lives among people and carries out his life activity (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, mediated or imaginary.

In communication as a process of successive mutually oriented in time and space actions, reactions, behavioral acts, there is an exchange of information and its interpretation, mutual perception, mutual understanding, mutual assessment, empathy, the formation of likes or dislikes, the nature of relationships, beliefs, views, psychological impact, conflict resolution, implementation joint activities. Thus, each of us in our lives, interacting with other people, acquires practical skills and abilities in the field of communication.

Considering the process of human cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinstein wrote: "In Everyday life When communicating with people, we are oriented in their behavior, since we, as it were, “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the text thus obtained in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This 'reading' is fleeting, because in the process of communicating with those around us, certain studies are developed, a more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior.

Effective communication is the only thing that can be really important for all people living in a society. Not thinking about effective communication while communicating is like crossing a street in a busy place without looking around.

Effective communication:

promotes mutual understanding;

directs the flow of information in the right direction;

helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

encourages interlocutors to take action to achieve their goals;

communicates information, encouraging employees to think in new ways and act more effectively.

This paper describes the most significant techniques and technologies for effective communication.

Effective communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, development of personality, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transfer, assimilation of information and exchange of it are necessary, are inconceivable.

Communication plays an important role in a person's mastery of cultural and universal values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc. is carried out.

Increasing the importance of communication in today's world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which implies the need for a deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and features that are manifested in people's activities.

It is proposed to put the following definition of this discipline into the basis of the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such an organization of language means that, in a certain situation of communication, while observing modern language norms and ethics of communication, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the "final product", the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we mean best way achieving the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of the language.

Effective communication technologies are such methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) communication partners.

Communication itself as a complex socio-psychological process is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the target settings of conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. And on the other hand, such mutual understanding is hindered by the lack of proper trust between them, their "closedness" in relation to each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in the conflict. Therefore, in order to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process, to form a target setting for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

Specify whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

In the process of receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not sum up, do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving the information and clarifying it.

Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the order in which information is presented. If you are not convinced of the accuracy of the information received by the partner, do not proceed to new messages.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

Use non-verbal means communications: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and others conducive to constructive dialogue tricks.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, because. many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

20 sec. you are being evaluated.

20 sec. how and what you started to say.

20 cm smiles and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show genuine interest in the interviewee.

To smile.

Remember the name of the person and do not forget to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

Be able to listen.

Carry on a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

Be observant;

Make a compliment;

Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

Black's Rules for Effective Communication:

Always insist on the truth.

Building messages is simple and clear.

Do not embellish, do not stuff the price.

Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication exciting, avoid boredom and routine.

Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

Do not spare time to clarify the general opinion.

Remember the need for continuous communication and clarification of a common opinion.

Try to be persuasive at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

You will win the interlocutor.

You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of applying them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person is 38% dependent on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (from sign language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that communication is built on its basis from the very beginning. Therefore, it is important to be able to good impression on those around you.

To safely get through the "minefield" of the first 20 seconds, you must use the "Rule of three" pluses ".

Experts have noticed: in order to win over the interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, make pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest thing to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Compliments are of three types:

1. An indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “crazy” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, going into the office of a female boss, to notice in passing how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with this.

2. Compliment "minus-plus". We give the interlocutor at first a small "minus". For example, “Perhaps I can’t say that you are a good worker ... You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, a person is lost and ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering for him is said. The psychological state resembles the sensations of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first, horror at the thought of death, and then, indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything potent, it is risky. If the "minus" turns out to be stronger than the "plus", the consequences can be disastrous for us.

3. The person is compared to something most dear to the one who compliments. “I would like to have a responsible son like you!” This compliment is the most subtle and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But its scope is limited:

In order not to look artificial, the existence of close and trusting relationships between the interlocutors is necessary.

The partner must know how important for us what we are comparing.

The most difficult thing in a compliment is to adequately answer it. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, if not offended, will no longer want to compliment us another time. General scheme could be: "It's thanks to you!" All art consists in the ability to gracefully vary it. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive qualities, and not for the fact that he is so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

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It is unlikely that you will argue with the fact that the main thing for which we communicate with people is to achieve mutual understanding. But, of course, you noticed that this does not always work out. No wonder, because there are people with whom it is pleasant to spend all the time, and there are those from whom you want to stay away. It’s a pity, but sometimes we are simply forced to talk with such people for reasons beyond our control.
I would like to say on this occasion that mutual understanding can be found with everyone.

Technology is getting old. The only thing that never gets old is communication.
"In sight / Suspects (Person of Interest)".

What helps us and what hinders our communication with people?

During communication, it is important not only to express your own point of view, but also to be able to listen to the opinion of the interlocutor. The talent to correctly explain your opinion and intentions allows you to successfully avoid possible misunderstandings and conflict situations. It is worth noting that honesty very often contributes to this, but it must be remembered that the truth should not be used as a means to offend the interlocutor.

The reasons for misunderstanding may be different, but the main one is always unwillingness and inability to listen. If you listen carefully to a person, then he automatically understands that you are well-educated, you can delve into the problem and help solve it. By doing so, you help the interlocutor to clearly articulate their problem.

The communication process can be influenced by various factors - bad mood, problems in, a combination of circumstances, natural temper or shyness. In addition, it should be understood what kind of communication takes place in a given situation - informal or formal. Based on this, you need to build a certain behavior model.

However, people often do not distinguish between these types of communication, and therefore allow certain liberties and mistakes that the interlocutor may not forgive.