This mourning date is celebrated in a narrow circle of the closest relatives and friends. The family of the deceased informs in advance about the commemoration for the year of death to those whom it wishes to see. This event is intended only for very close people, crowded gatherings in this case are inappropriate.
What is the right way to do a commemoration?
On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, it is imperative to pray in the church, and at the end of the service ask the priest to serve a panikhida.
According to tradition, on this day (in the first half of it), they put things in order there and ennoble this place. If weather(snowfall, ice, heavy rain) do not allow you to come to the cemetery, this can be done on another day. It is advisable to bring fresh flowers with you, even a little, or coniferous branches. By the way, according to Christian tradition, only fresh flowers can be brought to the commemoration. They symbolize eternal life, because human soul immortal, and artificial flowers are originally inanimate. In addition, fresh flowers are considered as proof that love for a deceased person is alive. In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring food and alcohol to the grave. The deceased is remembered only with prayers, fresh flowers and kind words at the grave.
After visiting the cemetery, they arrange memorial dinner... Depending on the number of those present, it can be done at home or in a small cafe hall, excluding the neighborhood of having fun.
The memorial table menu includes traditional dishes: funeral kutya, symbolizing eternal life, pancakes, compote. They often try to take into account taste preferences the deceased, offering dishes that he loved during his lifetime, because the event is dedicated to his memory.
Usually fish dishes (as a symbol of Christianity), salads (vinaigrette, sauerkraut, pickled mushrooms or fresh vegetables in summer), cheese and cold cuts. For the first - borsch, for the second - stew or fried chicken with mashed potatoes or boiled potatoes.
You can serve dessert, complementing the compote with sweet pies, cookies or gingerbread. From alcohol, preference is given to spirits (for example, vodka) and dry red wines.
In general, the dishes of the funeral table should not amaze those present with their wealth and variety, the main thing during a calm table conversation is to remember with a kind word the deceased and his deeds during his lifetime.
One more important point death anniversaries are merciful deeds. On this day, alms are given to people in need, so that as many people as possible remember the deceased with a kind word. You can distribute money, sweets, cookies to the beggars at the temple, give the belongings of the deceased to friends in need, make an offering to a nursing home or a baby's home.
If the day of remembrance falls on the time of fasting, the commemoration should be modest, and memorial table meet the requirements of the fast, especially the strict one. V strict fasting you cannot eat eggs, meat, dairy and fish products, put alcohol on the table, even pancakes should be lean.
Hello! Today we will reveal a very important topic: How to properly commemorate the dead on the day of death, for 9, 40 days, what are the memorial Saturdays, how to commemorate on Radonitsa and much more.
Where does the soul go?
According to the Tradition of the Church, based on the sayings of Jesus Christ, the souls of the righteous await their lot at the gates of paradise, until the Last Judgment. Then eternal bliss awaits them. The souls of sinners are redirected to the demons, where they will "cook" "in hell, in torment."
What does the Last Judgment mean? The definition of souls takes place on it. Sinners who did not do good deeds will be condemned, and those who repented of their sins and then lived righteously will be justified.
What stages does the soul go through?
According to Holy Scripture, the first 2 days the soul of the deceased is still on Earth... Accompanied by the Angels, she travels to those places where a person did righteous or unrighteous deeds, where he experienced earthly sorrows or joys. On the third day, the soul ascends to heaven to appear before God. On this day, a memorial service is performed in the temple for the soul of the deceased.
In the following days, the Angels guide the soul to paradise to contemplate unprecedented beauty. This happens from the 3rd to the 9th day. On the 9th day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present their souls to the Almighty for worship.
The Holy Church again fervently prays for the soul of the newly departed. Then the Angels escort her to hell to contemplate the cruel torments of sinners who have not repented of their deeds.
On the 40th day, the soul ascends to the Creator for the third time, where its destiny is decided. She is transported to the place that she deserves for her deeds. Therefore, on these days, especially on the 40th, it is necessary to pray fervently, to remember the newly departed.
In prayers, one must ask for the forgiveness of sins and the establishment of the soul of the one who has reposed with the Saints in Paradise. On these days, requiems and litias are performed in the Church.
Memorial service on day 3
The memorial service on the 3rd day is performed in commemoration of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image Holy Trinity... Commemoration for 9 days is performed in honor of 9 angel ranks... Angels these days ask for mercy on the deceased.
Memorial meal on day 9
On day 9, the memorial meal reminds family dinner... A photograph of the deceased is placed on the table, a glass of water and a piece of bread are placed next to it. On the 40th day, everyone who wishes to honor the memory of the deceased is invited. Often come those who could not attend the funeral.
40th day commemoration
A commemoration for 40 days is performed in honor of the forty days of mourning of the Israelites over the death of Moses. Jesus Christ also ascended to heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.
Therefore, the Church has established: to commemorate on the 40th day after the death of the deceased, so that his soul ascends the holy Mount Sinai, appears before the Most High, and settles in villages in Heaven with the Saints.
Through prayer, God forgives the deceased, removing many sins from him or completely justifying him.
On these days, it is necessary to pray especially diligently, helping the deceased go through all the trials:
- submit notes to the Church for commemoration at the Liturgy and Panikhida;
- at home, invite relatives to pray for the deceased.
It is often asked whether to do a wake for six months? This is not necessary, the decision is made by the relatives of the deceased. Funeral date, not a reason for a party. Orthodox Christians arrange a modest family dinner, without unnecessary conversations, with warm memories of the deceased, that's all that is required on mourning days.
Years. How to celebrate?
A year later, on the day of death, relatives and friends again gather at a memorial meal. They remember the righteous deeds that the deceased did in his life, express their condolences.
According to Orthodox canons, only people who have undergone the rite of Baptism are remembered. The Church does not pray for the unbaptized, suicidal, non-Orthodox, heretics. The unbaptized, after parting with the place where he lived, are taken to the cemetery, bypassing the Church.
How to celebrate the anniversary of death
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On the anniversary of death, they must visit the cemetery, then gather in a close family circle. It is advisable to arrive at the cemetery before 12-00 o'clock. You can give alms - these are sweets, pies, good things of the deceased.
Wreaths made of fake flowers were banned by the Synod in the last century. In Christianity, it is forbidden to bring anything to the grave. You can light candles, lay fresh flowers.
Any death anniversary is held only for the closest people. Unhurried, calm atmosphere, even quiet music is possible, photographs on the table are a worthy way to honor the memory. Often meals are held at home, but you can also go to a cafe.
How to write in a note - newly departed and ever memorable?
A newly departed is called a deceased within 40 days after death. The memorable one is called after forty days.
The word "always" means - always. And the ever-memorable, that is, who is always remembered and prayed for. In a given time in the church note it is necessary to write: "ever-memorable (oh)".
How to set the table
At any funeral commemoration, it is customary to put an even number of dishes on the table. Forks are most often excluded, but if the family of the deceased wishes to submit forks, this is not prohibited.
Of the dishes, pancakes, honey, cabbage soup, the second dish, cereals, fish are considered compulsory. fast days- peas, pies, compote and, of course, jelly. In Orthodoxy, it is customary to put kutya, consecrated in the temple, on the table.
If your conscience torments, what to do?
After death loved one many suffer from the fact that during their lifetime they treated the deceased incorrectly. What to do in this case? The church recommends to come, confess, cleanse the soul. Most often, the person gets relief.
Then do not forget to pray, give alms, church notes about the repose of the dead, spend days in godly deeds, take care of others.
It is especially important to pray for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased before the Last Judgment of God. It is on the 40th day that the soul will receive its allotted place.
On the day of death, it would be correct to order a magpie in the temple, and then a commemoration for a year. It is possible in several temples at once.
Why is parenting Saturday important?
On a specially designated Saturday, the Church commemorates all dead Christians. This day is called the Universal Parental Saturday. Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date, they are associated with the celebration of Easter.
Meat Saturday happens 8 days before the beginning of Lent. Parents' Saturdays are on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week. They remember mom, dad, relatives. It is necessary to pray for the repose of the departed after parental Saturdays.
Memorial saturday Is any Saturday on the calendar. Saturdays (except Great Saturday, saturdays on Bright weeks e and Saturdays, coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays) are considered days of remembrance of the departed. On these days, parents and all the dead are commemorated.
Nine days after Easter, the Tuesday after Bright Week comes. On this day, our Savior descended into hell to announce the victory over death and took out the souls of the righteous from hell. Go to the cemetery, remember mom, dad, all relatives, loved ones, light candles, put fresh flowers on the grave.
How to pray for a dead baby?
Babies also have funeral services, funeral services are served for them. It is important to know that in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since they do not yet have sins that have been knowingly committed. For the child, they ask the Almighty to grant him the Kingdom of Heaven.
Do they celebrate the birthday of the deceased
Our ancestors never celebrated the birthday of the deceased. If a person died on his birthday, then the date of birth was not marked in any way. Remembering the soul on a birthday, relatives involuntarily pull it to the ground, that is, they do not give rest to the deceased.
You cannot pour alcohol on the grave, it offends the deceased. Let's honor Orthodox traditions And we.
Just over a year back at my close friend Irina died Native sister... It so happened that I was not there then. I could only help Ira with advice, and even then from afar. But now all the memorial events on we organized the anniversary together.
Irina loved Galya very much. The sisters, despite the significant age difference, were very close. Therefore, my friend really wanted to do everything right, as it should. In order not to be mistaken in anything, she and I read a mountain of literature on how to remember the deceased, so that his soul would be good in another world, and for those who remained close it would be easier here. The information we collected turned out to be different. Some of what I read shocked me a little with their frank, sorry, obscurantism.
Much came in handy, thanks to which Galina's years were spent in a bright, good atmosphere. Even after Irina admitted to me that she herself felt much better in her soul. After anniversary, she was able to come to terms with the thought that her sister had left so early. These feelings of her gave me the idea to turn again here, on my blog, to the topic commemoration - at this time on the anniversary of death .
As remembered lateryear
In fact, the custom of commemorating the deceased loved ones on certain days is very, very ancient in itself. It goes back to the times when people worshiped the ancestral and tribal spirits, and all the dead were considered the patrons of the family. Therefore, our ancestors escorted the souls of their deceased to another world with all possible reverence andonthe long journey tried to feed them properly. For this, food and drink (including drunken ones) was left on the graves, and in special days after death they celebrated magnificent feasts. Burials at this time turned into places of rich and cheerful feasts in honor of the departed. People drank, ate, competed in prowess, even sang and danced. All this was done so that the dead could see how the living loved and appreciated them. Pagan rites later they began to be condemned by the Christian Church as blasphemous. Ask any priest about how you can and should remember the deceased, and he will tell you: this should not be done at the table, but in the church or with prayer in front of home icons. But a strict ban on funeral the Church does not impose with food.
But the days when Christians remember the soul of the departed have changed in the Christian tradition in comparison with the pagan one. The deceased at the beginning commemorate on the third, ninth and fortieth days afterdemise... These milestones are symbolic:
3rd day symbolizes the Holy Trinity and the resurrection of the Savior three days after of death ... It is believed that it is on the third day that the soul of the newly departed for the first time ascends to the Lord's Throne.
9th day laid in honor of nine angelic ranks. Angels ask the Lord to forgive human sins.
40 days are considered necessary to prepare the soul for new grace. That is how long Moses' fast lasted before his Sinai conversation with the Heavenly Father. 40 days passed from the day of death to the moment of the ascension of Jesus. And the soul of any person is precisely on The 40th day again ascends to the Throne of the Lord, so that there her fate will be decided according to the earthly affairs of a person.
Anniversary
of death symbolizes the annual liturgical circle. It is believed that it was after year after the soul's demise finally ascends on Heaven and unites with other departed in the higher realms. On earth years become the final farewell to the deceased for all those close to him. And for the deceased himself, this day is a new birth for eternal life.... If, of course, he was a believer. For the commemoration at the anniversary of death is traditionally taken with the utmost seriousness in our country. Traditionally, the whole family gathers for them, many come from afar. And I want to note that this is really, first of all, a family affair. On funerals, fortieth times, it is customary to come without an invitation. A on years - no. Only relatives are called(and not necessarily all) and truly close friends. Neighbors, acquaintances and just lovers, it is not necessary to notify about this. If someone comes unexpectedly, the family itself thinks whether to put him at the memorial table or not.
Ira and I had to solve a very delicate issue of transferring commemoration at a few days. The anniversary fell on Wednesday - weekdays, many work, cannot come. I had to postpone everything until next Saturday, including a visit to the cemetery, because Irina, too, could not even take a day off on Wednesday. On this topic, I even had to consult in advance with the priest of our parish. He dispelled all our doubts: it is possible to endure years, and sometimes even necessary. This is especially true of the memorial table itself, which, from the church point of view, is not at all necessary. After all, in fact, you need to remember with prayer, alms and kind words. The feast is rather a tribute to paganism, the same funerals. So the question of when everyone will gather for a common meal is not a matter of principle at all.
But prayers for the repose of the soul can be organized in advance so that they will fall just onthe right day. At the same time, not that it is impossible, but very it is undesirable to commemorate the dead on Easter and on Holy week, it's all better to move on Radunitsa. If the anniversary falls on Christmas Eve, the service is usually ordered on January 8th. On other days, nothing will prevent someone close to taking care of the funeral prayer service in advance.
To the temple to order a commemoration
on Litur 
It is better to come beforehand - sometime before or in the morning of the anniversary itself, so that everything can be done in time for the evening service. Ira and I not only ordered mass, but also lit candles for Galya and prayed for the peace of her soul. And even earlier, in about ten days, they took care of Sorokoust.By the way, home prayer is also a powerful thing. If someone cannot go to church, then it’s not bad to light a candle or an icon lamp at home and turn to the Lord with prayers for the departed. There are a lot of such sacred texts, they are necessarily included in the Prayer Book, so it is not difficult to find the right ones. For example, I like these two prayers - one about a specific person, the other is about everyone who died. I usually read them one after another (though from a piece of paper).
- God, Lord merciful, remembering the anniversary of deathYour servant (complete christian name) we ask You, grant him (her) a place in Your Kingdom, grant blessed peace and bring into the radiance of Your glory.
Lord, look mercifully on our prayers for the soul of Your servant (full Christian name), whose anniversary of deathwe remember; We ask You to bring him (her) to the host of Your saints, grant forgiveness of sins and eternal rest. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
- Rest, Lord, the souls of the departed, Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
Anyone who knows how to do this can conduct a litiya (this is a short rite of a requiem) - at home or on grave. This part of the Orthodox service can be performed by a layman, not only by a priest.
The hour comes when the remains of the deceased are buried, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. On certain days, she prays for the deceased and makes a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of remembrance are the third, ninth and fortieth (the day of death is considered the first). The commemoration these days is consecrated by the ancients church custom... It is consistent with the Church's teaching on the state of the soul behind the grave.
Third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Most Holy Trinity.
For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her through those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul walks to the places in which it used to create the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. Therefore, the ecclesiastical commemoration of the soul, presented before the face of the Just One, is very timely.
Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of the angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the departed.
After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their unspeakable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the grief that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How much I got bored in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, in order for me to be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor! " On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present their souls to Him for worship. The soul awaits with fear and trembling before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to settle the soul of her child with the saints.
Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time required for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. Prophet Moses was honored to converse with God on Mount Sinai and receive from Him the tablets of the law only after forty days of fasting. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty year journey. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a foundation, the Church established that commemoration should be commemorated on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the departed ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was worthy of the sight of God, attained the blessedness promised to her, and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.
After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of stay until The last judgment... That is why they are so opportune church prayers and commemoration on this day. They atone for the sins of the deceased and asks his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.
Anniversary. The church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The reason for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed feasts are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a heartfelt commemoration of his loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.
UNIVERSAL PANIKHIDS (PARENT SATURDS)
In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away in faith from time immemorial, who have been vouchsafed a Christian death, as well as those who, being caught in a sudden death, were not admonished to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at the same time, indicated by the charter Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:
Meat Saturday. Dedicating a meat-empty week to commemorating the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for its living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all kinds, titles and states, especially those who have died a sudden death. , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the dead on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of completeness church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.
Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost in view of the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of man's salvation, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending prayers at Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast, so that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, was a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul lives ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church devotes to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day delights in accepting prayers for the dead and even for those who are “held in hell”.
Parental Saturdays 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of the Holy Forty-days. On the Holy Forty Day - the days of Great Lent, spiritual exploits, exploits of repentance and goodness to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace, not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from real life on the appointed days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church for the commemoration of the departed also for the reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent there is no memorial service (this includes litanies, litanies, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, magpie), since every day there is no complete liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the departed is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the salvific intercession of the Church in the days of the Holy Forty-ness, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.
Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after Thomas week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the memory of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. after Holy and Bright Weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of remembrance is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).
Unfortunately in Soviet time the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of their loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the temple - after the funeral service served in the church. During the Easter week, there are no funerals, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, throughout the entire Easter week, the funeral litany is not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and the requiem service is not served.
CHURCH REMEDIES SERVICES
It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians is made by the Church at Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the beginning of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be removed from the prosphora, which at the end of the Liturgy will be lowered into the holy bowl and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit that we can provide to those who are dear to us. Here is how they say about the commemoration at the liturgy in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before separation real life who did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and their neighbors) - the souls of such people descend into hell and endure for what they have done sins of punishment, without losing hope of relief. They receive relief by the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and beneficence performed for the dead, and especially by the power of a bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergyman brings for each Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic Church and Apostolic church».
At the top of the note is usually an eight-pointed Orthodox cross... Then the type of commemoration is indicated - "On the repose", after which the names of those commemorated in genitive(to answer the question “who?”), and the first to mention are the clergy and monastics with an indication of the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Schemgumen Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrei, Nina).
All names must be given in the church script (for example, Tatiana, Alexia) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).
The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more attentively. Therefore, it is better to submit a few notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.
By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of a monastery or temple. For the avoidance of confusion, remember that price differences (registered or plain notes) only reflect differences in donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the mention of the names of your relatives in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place at the proskomedia when removing particles from the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your memorial and pray for your loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day participates in the Body and Blood of Christ.
After the liturgy, a panikhida can be served. The requiem is served before the eve - a special table with a crucifixion and rows of candlesticks. Here you can leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the deceased loved ones.
It is very important after death to order a magpie in the church - a continuous commemoration during the liturgy for forty days. At the end of it, the magpie can be ordered again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (while the monastery is standing) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (such is the ancient Orthodox custom). Than in more prayer will be offered up in temples, so much the better for our neighbor!
It is very useful to donate to the church on memorable days of the deceased, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificial food. You can't just bring meat and alcohol on the eve (except for church wine). The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle, which is placed on his repose.
Realizing that the most that we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of remembrance at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and perform deeds of mercy.
Remembrance of the Deceased at Home Prayer
Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need by and large, neither in a coffin, nor in a grave monument, and even more so in a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious. But forever alive soul the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Home prayer for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox Christian. Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the dead: “If the all-perceiving Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although it is not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and perhaps often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shores of temporary life, but have not reached the eternal abode? Saving for those souls who hover over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now immersed in deeds unworthy of it, now rising by grace, now descending by the remains of damaged nature, now ascending by divine desire, now entangled in rough, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "
Home prayer commemoration of a deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially earnestly pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section "Reading the Psalter for the Dead", during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading the akathist about the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for departed parents, relatives, known people and benefactors. For this, among the daily morning prayers included the following short prayer:
Prayer for the dead
Rest, O Lord, the souls of the departed, Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is more convenient to read the names from the memorial - a small booklet where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom of keeping family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people remember by name many generations of their departed ancestors.
Memorial Meal
The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an excuse for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the dead at the memorial table too.
Before a meal, a litiya should be performed - a short rite of a requiem that can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish eaten at the commemoration is kutia (k € olivo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of the resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the statute, kutia should be consecrated with a special rite during the requiem; if there is no such possibility, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.
Naturally, the desire of the owners is to treat everyone who came to the commemoration more deliciously. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat permitted food: on Wednesday, Friday, on long fasts- do not eat anything soggy. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is postponed to the next Saturday or Sunday before that.
It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who can suffer severely in afterlife... You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that a "drunken" commemoration often turns into an ugly gathering at which the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table "for the deceased" is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.
On the contrary, there are godly customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the memorial table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also distribute the clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of certification from the afterlife about the great help to the deceased as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living life. Orthodox Christian.
Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.
“It was hard post-war years... A mother, who was crying with grief, comes to me, the abbot of a village church, at whom her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed about her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "And what is his clothes left?" - "Oh sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will probably come in handy."
A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed exactly in the clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now he complained of hunger. I advised to make for the village children - friends and acquaintances of Misha - a memorial meal. No matter how difficult it is in a difficult time, what can you not do for your beloved son! And the woman, as she could, treated the children.
She came the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and satisfying, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her about prayers, advised her not to leave the works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, as much as she could and helped orphans, the poor and the poor. "
After physical death, a person remains in the memory of relatives and close people. Therefore, on the day of his death, they gather to remember him together. At the same time, there are certain rules that have become traditions. This is the pronunciation of heartfelt words, reading poetry and prayers. This will be discussed in the article.
Some traditions of remembrance
- Remembrance (or commemoration) is a series of ritual actions that allow you to maintain the memory of the dead. Mainly by the organization memorial days relatives are engaged. If there are no such people left, then friends or other close people.
- Usually memorial traditions are based on certain beliefs - paganism, Islam, Hinduism. Therefore, different nations they are different. For Russians, the rules of remembrance are closely related to the Christian faith. Sometimes rituals taken from different religions and local customs are mixed. Often, on this basis, certain rituals are created.
- In the Russian Christian tradition, there are a number of basic rules, which are rarely deviated from. For example, funeral and other prayers are read in church only if the deceased was baptized according to Orthodox rite... And also in churches they do not pray for those who independently took their own lives, preached heretical beliefs.
Memorial dates
- Orthodox Christians arrange a commemoration immediately after the funeral.
- In the near future after death, the dead are commemorated three times: the first time - on the third day after death; the second time - for the ninth; the third time - at the fortieth.
- Subsequently, a commemoration is held every year on the day of death.
Commemoration after the funeral and for the year of death
The meaning of memorial days
Remembrance on each of these days has its own special meaning associated with the events of Christian history.
Third day
The memorial meal on the third day is served in connection with the ascension to heaven of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion. Resurrection from the dead and transition to eternal life is the main doctrine of Christian teaching. According to church tradition, after death, the human soul "wanders" before higher powers it will be determined where she will go before the Last Judgment - to heaven or to hell. For the first three days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, visiting the places of his life in the bodily shell and people with whom the person was connected.
Ninth day
On the ninth day, commemoration is performed as a celebration of angels. who ask God to have mercy on the soul of the deceased. At this time, the soul of a deceased person flies around the heavenly abodes, getting acquainted with the forms of another life. On the ninth day, the closest relatives are invited to the commemoration. A photograph of the deceased is placed near the table at which they dine. A glass filled with vodka is placed next to it, a piece of bread is placed on it. It should be noted that the custom of setting a glass is rooted in pagan beliefs. For true Christians, it is unacceptable.
Fortieth day
After nine days, the soul sees pictures of the torment of sinners serving their death sentences in hell. This continues through the fortieth day. On this day, the Almighty finally determines where the soul of the deceased will be sent. Everyone is invited to the commemoration on the fortieth day, as well as those who were absent from the funeral.
How to commemorate death anniversary
Here are some rules to follow at a death anniversary memorial.
What do they order in the church on the anniversary of death
According to Christian teaching, reading prayers for the souls of the departed is the duty of the living... Thanks to this, the lot of sinners is facilitated. It is at the ascension of petitions to the Almighty for the forgiveness of the sins of the dead that the reading of the funeral prayers in the church is directed. You can order a memorial service not only on the anniversary of death, but also on other days.
In temples for such prayers there are special types services:
- Commemoration of the deceased during the Divine - the main Christian divine service.
- Memorial service.
- Lithium.
- Reading the Psalter.
As commemorated during the Liturgy
This type of commemoration is the most significant. The names of the deceased are mentioned:
One of the outstanding experts in the church charter Saint Athanasius (in the world - Sakharov) notes that reading memorial prayers during the proskomedia and after the consecration of the holy gifts is the most important. He says that such prayers, although unspoken, in their power and effectiveness cannot be compared with any other prayers and even deeds in memory of the departed.
Memorial service
Translated from Greek dirge literally means night service... This name is used to pray for the departed due to the fact that in its structure it is similar to one of the parts all-night vigil... And also because the ancient Christians performed services at night. This was a forced phenomenon, as they were subjected to incessant persecution. The funeral service is one of the most common services ordered to commemorate deceased relatives on the anniversary of death. Panikhidas, in addition to the temple, are performed both at home and at the grave. On it you can pray for one or several deceased.
Lithium
The indefatigable psalter
- This prayer is read continuously for several days. Usually it is ordered in monasteries, where monks read it while sitting, replacing each other. The Psalter is a collection of ancient psalms written mainly by the biblical king David. They have great power and are considered a great grace for departed souls. After reading the Unsleeping Psalter, sinful souls are purified, defeat demons and rise from the hellish flame.
- Since ancient times, the Unsleeping Psalter, like other prayers, has been read at the commemoration of relatives at home. For this, there are a number of rules that must be followed. For prayers to have an effect, the rules must be followed with great precision. Relatives agree in advance about the order in which they will read the Unbreakable Psalter.
How to order a commemoration in the church correctly
Rules for reading prayers at home on the anniversary of death
The rules for reading the psalter on the anniversary of death look like this.
- Having united in a group, the relatives read the Unsleeping Psalter in its entirety for one day.
- Arriving at their home, each of them reads one of the twenty parts of the psalter, called kathisma (which means sitting), mentioning everyone who also participates in the ceremony. This creates a feeling of unity among all those who pray at this time for the soul of the deceased.
- The next day, the option of reading by each relative at home is repeated, but this time with the reading of another part of the psalter.
- In total, prayers must be repeated at least forty times.
In conclusion, it must be said that before starting the commemoration at the table, you need to choose appropriate words for the anniversary of death, so as not to offend relatives and the memory of the deceased. Sometimes the audience reads memorial poems for the anniversary of death. Better if they contain warm feelings in relation to the deceased, and not only to express the bitterness of loss.