Six months after death that means. Memorial prayer for six months

05.10.2014

After a person leaves this world, you need to remember him. In this regard, certain traditions have developed that must be observed several times a year, after his death. They commemorate the deceased in church, preferably, do it more often, so that there is no comparison with any of the dates.

It is very important to observe the prayer for the deceased, his reassurance. But very often, due to the fact that everyday vanity gnaws at people, there is absolutely no time, even a year after death, to go to the grave, to go to church. By the way, many people still do not go to church to commemorate the dead, because they do not know how to do this.

How to remember correctly

Early in the morning, on the day when six months have passed since the death of a person, you need to pray for his soul. It is desirable that the prayer be at home in front of the photo of the deceased and the icon. You will also need to light a candle, which you should first buy in the shop of the temple. Before going to the grave of the deceased, it is worth going to the church, but so that there is no service there. Leave a donation there and buy another candle.

It is also worth submitting a note where the name of the deceased will be written; this should be done in a special window of the church, where the ceremony is ordered. It is better to order a commemoration at a proskomedia, this suggests that a piece of it is taken out of a special prosphora for the deceased and lowered into a certain bowl filled with holy water. This will be a sign of washing away the sins of the deceased.

It will be necessary to defend the requiem, after the Liturgy has passed, to light a candle for the repose. So, they say that prayer will be more effective for the deceased if on that day the one who remembers communion himself.

Remembrance at the cemetery

Buy another candle and take it to the cemetery; you need to put it on the grave of the deceased. It is worth going to the cemetery immediately after the above procedure.

You need to light a candle. Set a table near the grave where there will be food, so that it seems like a meal with the deceased. So they say that the spirit of the deceased will hover in the clouds, being nearby. It is also worth putting food on the grave. But remember that it is very important that all the posts that are at this moment must be observed.

Say a prayer for the soul of the deceased. And all those who came to visit him, invite him home to sit at the memorial table. Food should be prepared according to fasting.

Remember that before you commemorate at the table, you need to conduct a litiya by reading a prayer. And before the guests start eating, it is worth serving kutya made from rice and honey, raisins.

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The most detailed description: a prayer for six months after the deceased - for our readers and subscribers.

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased for 9 days, 3, 40 and anniversary - how and why to read it

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased is the most important part of any funeral and commemoration. As, in particular, in ours, Orthodox faith and in the Christian religion in general. Why this part funeral ritual paid so much attention?

Prayer for the peace of the soul of the deceased - where did this tradition come from and why is it needed

Prayer after the death of a person is a long-standing part of any tradition, no matter whether it is Christian or pagan. They are called differently and take absolutely different shapes, but the fact remains. After the death of a person on his way to the other side, he is escorted by a certain, established chant, memorial service, or other form of religious ritual. Because in every tradition, regardless of religion, there is a practice to see a person off.

Prayers for peace make it easier for a person to pass from one world to another.

Why? What is the reason? Humanity's beliefs diverge in many ways. But they all agreed that the human soul, burdened by sins, could hardly get into better world... But everyone has relatives and people who love him. And the desire to facilitate such a path for a loved one is quite natural.

This is why there are prayers for the repose of the soul. After all, they are pronounced with ardent compassion, trying to help the deceased. Higher power seeing such zeal on the part of relatives and friends, they understand that if they love him so much, then the measure of sins can be tempered. By bad person hardly anyone will suffer.

So the existence of such rituals is understandable, both logically and emotionally. Everyone wants to help their relatives, even if they are alive or dead. Moreover, by and large, the deceased himself no longer needs a coffin or a monument. He's already dead, he doesn't care. This is when it comes to the body. But the soul is another matter. It is for her that the mourners offer prayers. And it is worth knowing that such a prayer can help the living too. In such a way that she will help them tune in a spiritual harmony. To stand, so to speak, on the same line of communication with Heaven. Think about how many sins have accumulated in everyone's soul. And think about it - how many people will grieve at your own funeral?

When to read a prayer for the repose of the soul

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased is an important part of the memorial service, when the soul most of all needs support during its wanderings. You cannot treat your dead relative carelessly, because God will feel your negligence and will no longer be so lenient.

The most strong help will be, if you read such a prayer in the Church. Before offering a prayer, a living relative needs to visit the temple. It is best to arrive at the very beginning of the service, or a few minutes before. Bring a church note with you, because it will need to be handed over to the altar. Most best moment- on proskomidia... Then, in the name of the deceased, they will take a part from a special prosphora. With its help, you can get a great cleansing from sins, when a part of such a prosphora is placed in the Most of the Sacred Gifts. When the liturgy is over, the requiem will also need to be served. If you want prayer to become much more effective, then the grieving person should take communion himself.

There are certain days of the year when everyone is honored in the Church. From brothers and sisters who died with everyone Christian prayers and funeral services, to those who were overtaken by a fierce death, or sudden. Without a religious, ritual part relying on such a moment.

Saturday, which is called meat-eating. It is celebrated eight days before Lent.
Named Saturdays parenting days... Stand in the second, third and fourth weeks of Great Lent.
Trinity Saturday. Celebrated before the day of the Holy Trinity.
Radonitsa. Second week after Easter, Tuesday.
Saturday, which is considered both parental and Dimitrievsky. Celebrated on November 8, which is the day of remembrance of the saint and martyr, Demetrius of Thessaloniki. Initially, it took place on the eve of the Kulikovo battle and during it the names of Orthodox soldiers who died defending their native land were commemorated.
Commemoration of the Orthodox, deceased soldiers, May 9 (April 26, old style).

On the remembrance of the dead: memorial service, memorial prayer, parental Saturdays

What else do you need to remember for proper commemoration? First, there are special dates. The deceased must be remembered on his birthday, the day of his death and on the name day... It is also advised on these days to generously carry church donations, where his name will always be honored. And also - alms to the poor, with the expectation that they would remember the name of your relative when they pray.

The text of the prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased:

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Your eternal reposed servant (name), and as Good and Humanitarian, forgiving sins and consuming unrighteousness, weaken, forgive and forgive all his free and involuntary sins; Deliver him from the eternal torment and fire of hell and grant him the sacrament and pleasure of Thy eternal good ones, prepared for those who love Thee, and with Thy saints, as Generous, rest; there is no more man, who will live and will not sin. But you are one, apart from all sin, and your righteousness is righteousness forever; and you are the only God of mercies and bounties and love for mankind, and we give glory to you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever. Amen.

Prayer for 9 days after death, as well as for 3 days, 40 days and an anniversary

Why is the prayer read exactly for 3 days, 9 and 40 days after death? It is believed that for the first 3 days, the shower prepares to leave. It is still in the body, but it is held on to it with literally a few strings. Then, when the body is buried on the 3rd day, the last connection is interrupted. And from the 3rd day to the 9th day, the newly departed soul is shown paradise booths, so to speak. What Paradise looks like, what pleasures await the soul, how good and pleasant it is there.

But when the 10th day comes, a completely different picture unfolds before the soul. They begin to show her hellish torments, and what awaits her if she gets here. All this time she does not know what exactly awaits her, Heaven, or Hell. And the deceased learns about this only on the 40th day. It is on these days, when the fate of the human soul is being decided, that it most of all needs support from living relatives. Therefore, it is customary to read prayers and perform memorial services on these dates. So, as we ourselves see, prayer for 9 days after death, for 3 days and for 40 is very important. After all, it is on these days that the fate of a human being, or rather the fate of an immortal soul, is being decided.

There are several basic rules that must be adhered to when holding commemorations on such significant dates. The first is the right atmosphere, at home, or together, where the event will take place. Relatives should pour water into a glass, put a loaf of bread on top and light the lamp.

The second is the number of those who commemorate. There shouldn't be many of them. These are close relatives and friends, as well as colleagues with whom he maintained the closest contact. Women should match their hair with a headscarf, without exception. And men should be without any hats.

The third is an invitation. It is not customary to invite people to the commemoration, because this is the only way to find out who really cares about the peace of mind of the deceased. They have to come by themselves. But sometimes it happens that a person, under the yoke of grief, forgets what day it is. So you can accidentally remind him without inviting him directly.

Funeral Divine Liturgy and Panikhida in the Church of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker - the Patriarch's Compound in Sofia

The fourth is food. Everyone who is going to set the table on this day should remember that compote, kutia and cereals in general are an obligatory attribute of the memorial table. You can cook the deceased's favorite food and put it at the head of the table.

Fifth and most important rule- you are not gathered to dine. You must remember the deceased. Remember the joint, pleasant moments, some facts from his life. Let it pop up in your memory as if it were alive. Like a person who was next to you. Feel its warmth.

Prayer for 9 days after death:

God of spirits and all flesh, correcting death and abolishing the devil, and a gift to Thy world! Himself, Lord, rest the souls of the departed, Thy servant: holy patriarchs who have served You in the priestly, ecclesiastical and monastic ranks, Metropolitans, Archbishops and Bishops;

Any sin, committed by them in word or deed or thought, as a good Humanitarian God forgive, as if there is no man, who will live and will not sin. Thou art one, apart from sin, Thy righteousness is truth forever, and Thy word is truth. As if Thou art the Resurrection, and the Belly and Peace of the departed are Thy servant (the name of the rivers), Christ our God, and we glorify You with Thy beginningless Father, and the Most Holy, and Good, and Thy Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and forever. Amen.

Prayer for 3 days:

Peace, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant who has fallen asleep (the soul of Thy servant, the souls of the departed Thy servant) (name) (bow), and only in this life that a man has sinned (people have sinned), You, like a Human-loving God, forgive him (yu, them) and have mercy (bow), save eternal torment (bow), give (bow) to the heavenly Kingdom of the partaker (partaker, partakers), and create useful things for our souls (bow).

Prayer for 40 days:

Rest, Lord, the souls of the departed, Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Prayer for the anniversary after death:

God, merciful Lord, remembering the anniversary of the death of Thy servant (name) (Thy servant (name), we ask You, grant him (her) a place in Thy Kingdom, grant blessed peace and lead into the radiance of Thy glory.

Lord, look mercifully on our prayers for the soul of Thy servant (name) (Thy servant (name), whose anniversary of death we remember; we ask You, bring him (her) to the host of Thy saints, grant forgiveness of sins and eternal rest. Through Christ, Our Lord, Amen.

Prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased is an important part of any funeral and memorial ceremony. Because it helps the soul to be cleansed, and at the same time both the soul of the deceased and the souls of the living. Moreover, when reading such a prayer, the Lord God himself will more mercifully evaluate the deeds of the deceased.

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On this day, there were extensive festivities, people drank and walked. It was believed that it is not a sin to drink a lot if the bins are full. It was not for nothing that they said: "I got rid of it!" On winter Nicholas, it is customary to make conspiracies against alcoholism. You can order a prayer for the health of a relative with alcohol addiction... On December 19, St. Nicholas brings gifts to children, and relatives read prayers for their health.

Days of special commemoration of the deceased

The hour comes when the remains of the deceased are buried, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. On certain days, she prays for the deceased and makes a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of remembrance are the third, ninth and fortieth (the day of death is considered the first). The commemoration these days is consecrated by the ancients church custom... It is consistent with the Church's teaching on the state of the soul behind the grave.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her through those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house in which the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul walks to the places in which it used to create the truth. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. Therefore, the ecclesiastical commemoration of the soul, presented before the face of the Just One, is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of the angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the departed.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their unspeakable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. During this time, the soul forgets the grief that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the pleasure of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How much I got bored in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, in order for me to be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas for me, poor! " On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present their souls to Him for worship. The soul awaits with fear and trembling before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to settle the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time required for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. Prophet Moses was honored to converse with God on Mount Sinai and receive from Him the tablets of the law only after forty days of fasting. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty year journey. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a foundation, the Church has established to commemorate commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the departed ascend to the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, receive the sight of God, attain the promised blessedness and settle in heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of stay until the Last Judgment. Therefore, church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They atone for the sins of the deceased and asks his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The reason for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed feasts are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a heartfelt commemoration of his loving family and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

UNIVERSAL PANIKHIDS (PARENT SATURDS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away in faith from time immemorial, who have been vouchsafed a Christian death, as well as those who, being caught in a sudden death, were not admonished to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The memorial services performed at the same time, indicated by the charter Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays... In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Meat Saturday. Dedicating a meat-empty week to commemorating the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for its living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all kinds, titles and states, especially those who have died a sudden death. , and prays to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the dead on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers and at the same time serves as an expression of completeness church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all those who have died in the faith. And communication with them through prayer, their prayerful remembrance is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost in view of the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of man's salvation, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending prayers at Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast, so that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, was a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul lives ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church devotes to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. Saint Basil the Great, who composed the touching prayers of Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord especially on this day delights in accepting prayers for the dead and even for those who are “held in hell”.

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th week of Holy Forty days. On the Holy Forty Day - the days of Great Lent, spiritual exploits, exploits of repentance and goodness to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace, not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemorations of those who have departed from real life on the appointed days. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church for the commemoration of the departed also for the reason that on the weekdays of Great Lent there is no memorial service (this includes litanies, litanies, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, magpie), since every day there is no complete liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the departed is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the salvific intercession of the Church in the days of the Holy Forty-ness, the indicated Saturdays are allocated.

Radonitsa. The basis for the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after Thomas week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the memory of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. after Passionate and Bright weeks starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their relatives and friends with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of remembrance is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of their loved ones after fervent prayer for their repose in the temple - after the funeral service served in the church. During the Easter week, there are no funerals, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, throughout the entire Easter week, the funeral litany is not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and the requiem service is not served.

CHURCH REMEDIES SERVICES

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days commemoration, but also on any other day. The main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians is performed by the Church at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the beginning of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). At the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be removed from the prosphora, which at the end of the Liturgy will be lowered into the holy bowl and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest benefit that we can provide to those who are dear to us. Here is how they say about the commemoration at the liturgy in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being real life who did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayer vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in actions of love for God and their neighbors) - the souls of such people descend into hell and endure for what they have done sins of punishment, without losing hope of relief. They receive relief by the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and beneficence performed for the dead, and especially by the power of a bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergyman brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church brings daily. "

At the top of the note is usually an eight-pointed Orthodox cross... Then the type of commemoration is indicated - "On the repose", after which the names of those commemorated in genitive(to answer the question "who?"), and the first to mention are the clergy and monastics with an indication of the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, schema-abbot Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrei, Nina).

All names must be given in the church script (for example, Tatiana, Alexia) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more attentively. Therefore, it is better to submit a few notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of a monastery or temple. For the avoidance of confusion, remember that price differences (registered or plain notes) only reflect differences in donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the mention of the names of your relatives in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place at the proskomedia when removing particles from the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your memorial and pray for your loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day participates in the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, you can serve a panikhida. The requiem is served before the eve - a special table with a crucifixion and rows of candlesticks. Here you can leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the deceased loved ones.

It is very important after death to order a magpie in the church - a continuous commemoration during the liturgy for forty days. At the end of it, the magpie can be ordered again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (while the monastery is standing) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (such is the ancient Orthodox custom). The more temples prayer is offered, the better for our neighbor!

It is very useful to donate to the church on memorable days of the deceased, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificial food. You can't just bring meat and alcohol on the eve (except for church wine). The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle, which is placed on his repose.

Realizing that the most that we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of remembrance at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and perform deeds of mercy.

Remembrance of the Deceased at Home Prayer

Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, neither a coffin, nor a grave monument, let alone a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious. But forever alive soul the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Home prayer for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox Christian. Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the departed: “If the all-perceiving Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this mean that it is still allowed to throw the rope, although it is not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and perhaps often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shores of temporary life, but have not reached the eternal abode? Saving for those souls who hover over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now immersed in deeds unworthy of it, now rising by grace, now descending by the remains of damaged nature, now ascending by divine desire, now entangled in rough, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts. "

Home prayer commemoration of a deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially earnestly pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section "Reading the Psalter for the Dead", during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading the akathist about the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for departed parents, relatives, known people and benefactors. For this, among the daily morning prayers the following short prayer is included:

Prayer for the dead

Rest, O Lord, the souls of the departed, Thy servant: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the memorial - a small booklet where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom of keeping family memorials, reading which Orthodox people many generations of their deceased ancestors commemorate by name.

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an excuse for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the dead at the memorial table too.

Before a meal, a litiya should be performed - a short rite of a requiem that can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish eaten at the commemoration is kutia (k € olivo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of the resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the statute, kutia should be consecrated with a special rite during the requiem; if there is no such possibility, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the desire of the owners is to treat everyone who came to the commemoration more deliciously. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat permitted food: on Wednesday, Friday, on long fasts- do not eat anything soggy. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is postponed to the next Saturday or Sunday before that.

It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not remembered with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who can suffer severely in afterlife... You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that a "drunken" commemoration often turns into an ugly gathering at which the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table "for the deceased" is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are godly customs worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the first to sit down at the memorial table are the poor and the poor, children and old women. They can also distribute the clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of certification from the afterlife about the great help to the departed as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to start living the life of an Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one living archimandrite tells the following incident from his pastoral practice.

“It was hard post-war years... A mother, who was crying with grief, comes to me, the rector of a village church, at whom her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed about her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "And what is his clothes left?" - "Oh sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will probably come in handy."

A few days later she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the same clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked him, but now he complained of hunger. I advised to make for the village children - friends and acquaintances of Misha - a memorial meal. No matter how difficult it is in a difficult time, what can you not do for your beloved son! And the woman, as she could, treated the children.

She came the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and satisfying, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her about prayers, advised her not to leave the works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, as much as she could and helped orphans, the poor and the poor. "

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Essence in the cycle of life and death

This topic in the media mass media insufficiently illuminated, because some consider it sad, suggestive of minor reflections, and therefore not entirely appropriate for detailed consideration. They try to talk less about this topic, keep silent and forget.

But because we, for example, forget about the sun, it does not stop shining, so death, no matter how we try not to think about it, comes on time.

All of us (until we learn to fully manage our psychosomatic state, the basics of self-regulation) from the moment of birth, it is sad to realize it, stand in line for our funeral. Information about what happens to us after our physical death is necessary for all of us, not only as folklore, a set of customs, rituals and traditions, but above all, as one of the components of the spiritual heritage.
And the spiritual heritage was created and preserved for centuries in order to help us today, to live correctly in this world and to prepare the soul for eternal life.

Indeed, we know almost nothing about the other world. We half-skeptically talk about heaven and hell, just in case, we insure ourselves with half-faith in the future and rest with the saints. But we do not have faith in the Invisible World as an inevitable reality. If we had it, it would radically change our psychology and we would try to use all the possibilities of life for the growth and development of our soul, preparing it for the Inevitable!

First, let's try to figure out WHY DO PEOPLE GET OLD?
The cells of a person's physical body are renewed several times during life. Different types cells - blood, nerve, glands, reproductive, muscle, fat, connective tissue, cartilage and bone have different periods of renewal. Blood cells are produced by the red and yellow bone marrow. They are updated constantly, which is related to their functions. Bone cells are renewed every fifteen years. All other types of cells are renewed with periods of less than fifteen years.
Thus, every fifteen years, all cells of the human body are renewed. In other words, the age of the cells in a fifteen-year-old boy and a ninety-year old man is the same. But, no one will say that they look the same.
The fact is that the aging process of the body is associated with a violation of harmony between the physical body and the bodies of the essence, and not with the aging of cells.
There are about four hundred theories of aging, but none of them gives a complete picture of this phenomenon. Each of them considers certain consequences of aging, while the main reason remains outside the field of vision of these theories. Having comprehended the mechanisms of aging, we will come to understand the possibility of physical immortality, the dream of which has excited the minds of mankind for many thousands of years.

So what is the reason for the aging of the body?
The fact is that the rate of evolutionary development of the physical, etheric, astral and mental bodies in humans is different. When an entity enters a fertilized egg, it develops a physical body for itself, corresponding to its level of development. When creating such a body, the entity expends its potential. And this leads to the fact that by the time a person is born, his essence is evolutionarily lower than it was at the time of entry at conception. At the same time, the physical body acquires a reserve of quality, which allows the bodies of the essence to develop.
Due to the difference in the rates of the evolutionary development of the physical body and the bodies of the essence, the development of the bodies of the essence leads first to the restoration of the etheric body to the level that the essence had at the entrance, and only after that the astral body begins to recover. When this process is completed, the restoration and further development of mental bodies begins.
At some point in the development of the essence, the speed of the evolutionary development of the physical, etheric, astral and mental bodies becomes the same. Harmony comes between different bodies of a person when his intellect and Creative skills can manifest as much as possible. With such harmony, the movement of energy between different bodies is as balanced as possible.
Spiritual development leads to the fact that the speed of the evolutionary development of the bodies of the essence becomes greater than the speed of the evolutionary development of the physical body. This speed difference is getting bigger and bigger. Moreover, the rates of development of different bodies are not the same. The difference in the rates of development leads over time to a difference in the qualitative structures of the bodies of the essence. In this case, the harmony of energy movement between bodies is disturbed. The quality and quantity of energy flowing from the physical level changes.
When the differences become large, the flow of certain types of energy to the astral and mental levels stops (this process is shown with the example of a cell, see Chapter 2, which shows the processes at the levels of the cell). This drawing shows a cell with an etheric, astral and mental level. The etheric body of a cell is formed from one matter (shown orange), the astral body - of two (shown in orange and yellow), the first mental - of the three (shown in orange, yellow and green).
Violation of the harmony of the flow of energy between different levels leads to the fact that the types of energy that are needed for their development do not reach the first mental and astral levels of the cell. Only one matter reaches the mental and astral levels (shown in red), which is not suitable for the evolution of these levels. The "power supply" of these levels is turned off, their development stops. Only the etheric body (level) continues to develop, the nutrition of which is less, but still continues.
Cessation of nutrition of the mental and astral levels leads to loss of memory, disruption of the mechanisms of thinking (sometimes they say - a person "falls into childhood"). Gradually, the channel between the physical and the etheric cell narrows, and the provision of evolution and life of the etheric cell ceases. The physical cell (physical body) is not able to provide "nourishment" for all levels of the cell and PHYSICAL DEATH sets in, when the etheric, astral and mental bodies are all incompatible with the physical body.

The text about the aging of people is taken from the book by N.V. Levashov. The last appeal to Humanity

CONCLUSION: engage in HARMONIOUS development thin bodies and the physical body at the same time. Here they will teach you how!

The death of a loved one, especially sudden, unexpected, is not only great sorrow for some people, but also the numerous worries that have fallen on the head of a widow or widower, which are very difficult for one to cope with: you need to draw up documents, give telegrams to relatives, order a coffin, go to the cemetery, think about other features of the ritual, get transport, etc.

It is useful to consider information about this from the social and everyday level, and from the point of view of the Church, and from the esoteric point of view.

FUNERAL.
First of all, the close relatives are informed about the death of a family member so that they have time to say goodbye to the deceased before the funeral and, if possible, help organize this funeral. The family members of the deceased decide for themselves whether the funeral will be broad, with the participation of colleagues and friends of the deceased, or narrow, purely family funerals.
A condolence visit is only made if you know that there is a need for it, that it is expected and that it can help the widow or other family members of the deceased. Otherwise, there is no need to injure people again. The leaders of the organizations where the deceased used to work should offer their help in organizing the funeral.

It goes without saying that they come to the funeral in dark, black clothes, and in the house of the deceased they do not speak loudly and excitedly, much less laugh. Farewell ceremony can be with or without speeches. But in any case, relatives and friends are on the right, and everyone else is on the left, when viewed from the side of the headboard.
Usually people come to the funeral with flowers or wreaths that are placed around the coffin. Then the wreaths are carried in front of the hearse and laid on the grave so that mourning ribbons and inscriptions on them are visible: flowers decorate the grave, sometimes they are thrown onto a coffin covered with earth. The first wreaths are carried by the relatives of the deceased, the relatives are the first to follow the coffin.

Those who come to the house or cemetery must express condolences to the relatives and friends of the deceased. Relatives can silently hug the widow, friends can shake hands, acquaintances can bow. Men bare their heads (in the cold season, it is allowed not to take off their hats on the street, exposing their heads only in the cemetery when the coffin is lowered into the grave). The rules of good manners require that, when leaving the cemetery, you once again express your condolences to the relatives of the deceased and offer your help.
After the funeral, family members often gather close relatives and friends for a commemoration. You should not come to the commemoration without an invitation: it should be borne in mind that the family may be financially constrained by sudden expenses or it may be decided to gather only a narrow circle of relatives, etc.

At a commemoration, as at a funeral, bright clothes are undesirable. At the table, a place is left unoccupied, where the deceased usually sat during his life, one empty appliance is placed on the table. It is also customary to leave the fork not next to the plate, but put it on it. It is desirable that alcoholic beverages there were not very many, since their excessive use can lead the conversation and the behavior itself in the wrong direction.
A significant part of the table conversation is devoted to the commemoration of the deceased, memories of him, kind words aimed at consoling relatives. After the funeral of a loved one, many observe mourning.

The deepest mourning - up to a year - is worn by a widow. At this time, only black clothes, there are no decorations. Naturally, thoughts of remarriage are also considered indecent until the lines of mourning have expired. A widower man wears mourning for six months. Children observe mourning for a dead father or mother: six months - deep, three months - ordinary and three months half-mourning, when gray and white are mixed with black in clothes.
For grandparents, they wear six months of mourning: three months - deep, with a month - half mourning. Also - brother and sister.
If for the period of family mourning the wedding of any of the relatives falls, then on the wedding day the mourning dress is removed, and the next day they put on again. In summer, light suits are allowed, but with a black ribbon.

They do not go to public places of worship during deep mourning. And in the theater and at balls, it is recommended to appear only after completely removing mourning. An arbitrary reduction in mourning is immediately apparent to those who know you and can cause condemnation. But, while wearing mourning, you also do not need to show boundless grief:everything should be done with dignity, for the meaning of mourning is not only in observing external decency, but also in the fact thatit is a time for a person to deepen into himself, a time to reflect on the meaning of life. Ultimately, just as we honor the memory of our relatives, so others, perhaps, will honor our memory, for no one in this world is eternal.

REMINDERS.
The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians should pray for the dead at the memorial table.
Before the meal, you should perform LITHIUM - a short rite of the panikhida, which can be served by a layman. As a last resort, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer of our Father. The first dish eaten at the commemoration is kutia (kolivo).

These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat, rice) with honey (raisins). Grains serve as a symbol of the resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutia must be consecrated with a special rite during the requiem, if there is no such possibility, it must be sprinkled with holy water.
It is necessary to observe the fasts established by the Church, and to eat permitted food: on Wednesday, Friday, long fasts do not eat anything.

If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is postponed to the next Saturday or Sunday.
The dead are not remembered with wine!Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and MEMINIES are a REASON FOR STRENGTHENED PRAYER for a person who can suffer severely in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that drunken commemoration often turns into an ugly gathering at which the deceased is simply forgotten.

At the table, you need to conduct pious conversations, remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration).
The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the table is a relic for the deceased and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

Commemoration of the deceased after burial.
The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the Mother Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry up. On certain days, she makes prayers for the deceased and brings the most holy Sacrifice for his repose.
The usual days of remembrance are the third, ninth and fortieth ( at the same time, the day of death itself is considered the first). The commemoration on these days is sanctified by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the church about the state of the soul behind the grave.
Third day- the commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.
For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the angel accompanying her through those places that attract her with the memory of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship him.
On the third day, the Etheric body is separated from the six bodies that separated from the Human at the time of death and is directed to its dimension.
Ninth day- the commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine ranks of the angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King, intercede for the commemoration of the departed.
After the third day, the soul, accompanied by angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their unspeakable beauty. She remains in this state for six days. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present their souls to Him for worship.
On the ninth day, the Astral body separates from the remaining five bodies and rushes into its dimension.
Fortieth day- the forty-day period is very significant in the history and traditions of the Church as the time required for preparation, for the acceptance of a special divine gift, the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father.
The Prophet Moses was honored to converse with God on Mount Sinai and receive the Tablets of the Law from Him only after forty days of fasting.
The Israelites reached the Promised Land after a forty-year fast.
Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.
Taking all this as a foundation, the Church established that commemoration should be commemorated on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the departed ascended to the holy mountain of heavenly Sinai, was worthy of the beholding of the Divine, attained its promised bliss and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.
After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to Hell and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of stay until Of the Last Judgment.
On the fortieth day, the Mental body separates from the remaining four bodies and rushes into its dimension.
Prayer on the fortieth day is extremely important (!). because by her ironed out the sins of the deceased. But even after him, the commemoration does not stop, only now it happens in memorable days- birthday, death, name day of the deceased.
For the Orthodox believer, the day of the death of a neighbor is a birthday in a new, eternal life.
According to various sources, after forty days and approximately up to a year, the remaining three bodies of a Man - his Monad, are still within Solar system, and then goes into a certain dimension, according to her energy-informational status.

How to remember the dead correctly.
The great saint of the Orthodox Church John Chrysostom said: Let us try as much as possible to help the departed, instead of tears, instead of sobs, instead of lush tombs - with our prayers, alms and offerings for them, so that in this way both them and us receive the promised blessings. From the words of the holy father it is clear that commemoration of the departed soul-saving for those who remember
Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need by and large neither in a coffin, nor in a grave monument, and even more so in a memorial table- all this is only given to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased has a great need for constant prayer... for she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Home prayer for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

On all memorable days, one of the relatives should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration in the altar (it is best if it is a commemoration at the proskomedia, when a piece of the deceased is removed from a special prosphora, and then as a sign the washing away of his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts).
After the liturgy, a panikhida should be served. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on this day participates in the Body and Blood of Christ. The requiem can be performed on any other day, if desired.
It is very useful to order a magpie in the church immediately after death - a continuous commemoration at the liturgy for forty days. At the end of it, the magpie can be ordered again, and so on all the time.
There are also longer periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (while the monastery is standing) commemoration. The more temples prayer is offered, the better for our neighbor!
It is very useful to donate to the church on memorable days, to give alms to the poor with a request for the deceased. All temples have special funeral tables - eves... on which they put the sacrificial food. Tasting it, the priests commemorate those for whom this sacrifice was made. You can't just bring meat food on the eve.

Since ancient times, the Holy Orthodox Church, in the wise care for the spiritual salvation of her faithful children, has designated special days in the year, in which church prayer is ascended for the departed, helping to alleviate their fate beyond the grave.
SUCH DAYS A YEAR:

1) Saturday of Meat Week ,
2) Saturday of the second week of Great Lent ,
3) Saturday of the third week of Great Lent ,
4) Saturday of the fourth week of Great Lent ,
5) Tuesday of the second week after Easter ,
6) Saturday seventh week after Easter ,
7) August 29, the day of the Beheading of St. John the Baptist ,
8) Saturday before October 26, Memorial Day of St. Dmitry Salunsky.
On Saturday of the week of the meat-eating, the Church especially prays for those dead who were abducted by sudden death on a foreign side, in the sea, impassable mountains, on cliffs, in abysses, from pestilence and hunger, in war, in fires, from cold, as well as for the poor and the weak, and in general about those who have not received for some reason Orthodox funeral service and burial.
The benefits of remembering the dead, making a bloodless sacrifice for them and our prayers for them is great and indisputable. The fathers and teachers of the Church unanimously testify to this in the millennium space (IV-XIV centuries): Saint Ephraim the Syrian, Saint Macarius of Egypt, Saint John Chrysostom, Saint Cassian, Blessed Augustine, Saint John Damascene, Saint Simeon of Thessaloniki and others.
Therefore, these commemorations should be performed with great zeal. Knowing all this, all those who love their loved ones who have departed from here, let them offer up the most holy sacrifice of the Eucharist for them and propitiate God. with their prayers for the dead in the right faith and the hope of resurrection,let them remember their neighbors both in church prayer and at home. At any time, convenient in their mood of soul or free from daily activities, let them offer their prayers, believing that God will hear the sincere voice of their heartfelt prayer, inspired by love for their neighbors.

Until the fate of our fellows who have departed from us has not yet been finally decided before the Last Judgment, ask and pray to the Lord that He would grant them deliverance from hellish torments and blessed repose with all the saints in His unending Kingdom. Ask with all the more zeal, because outside the grave the time of good deeds has passed for them, and the door of repentance is already closed for them. Ask the merciful Lord and believe that he will give you at your request! >> Prayers for different cases life From an esoteric point of view:
The death of the physical body is the rewriting of all information accumulated during a given incarnation cycle and the transition to the next birth. The most serious factor in rewriting information is the memories and regrets of relatives and friends about the deceased!

The commemoration of the departed should take place in accordance with Christian traditions. Everyone knows that there are obligatory dates for this, but whether a funeral for six months is done or not, many raise a question. The invariable dates for commemoration are: the second day after burial, on the ninth day after death, on the fortieth day, for a year.

Remembering outside in spite of the dates

But most people have a question as to whether it is necessary to arrange a memorial service for six months after death. And how to properly organize the commemoration, often relatives do not know and turn to old people or clergy for advice, who will certainly tell you what to do in this case.

The fact is that Orthodox people should remember the deceased, regardless of the dates and dates from the day of death, it is accepted according to church canons pray and visit the temple, leaving notes or ordering prayers. This must be done before starting Divine Liturgy, since during the service the priest at a certain moment reads out all the names of the people who are indicated in the notes, he says prayers for the peace of their souls in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Notes are served not only in ordinary churches and temples, but also in monasteries and monasteries, it is believed that the more and longer they pray for the deceased, the easier it will be for his soul.

About how to correctly submit notes and what services are there for this, you should find out in advance and not make mistakes.

Remembrance rules in the church

In order to commemorate in church, you need to come up in advance before the service and write notes with the names of the deceased. The Church does not set dates and restrictions on dates and times, since remembering people who are no longer in this world by church rules is obligatory and even necessary every day in your prayers.

There are certain rules according to which memorial lists can be submitted, the fact is that Orthodox Church he can remember in his prayers only people who have been baptized; for people of a different faith one can pray in his heart and soul. It is also worth knowing that you cannot remember people who have passed away on their own, they are buried without church rites and funeral services. Otherwise, there are no prohibitions, the priests say that you need to remember as many of your ancestors and relatives who are in the other world, this person does not only good for them, but for the whole family.

So, in six months it is still worth coming to church and defending the service, after which you can order a prayer service for the commemoration of the dead and submit a note with your name. It is worth remembering that in the note, names are written strictly in the genitive case. Even if you came to order this prayer service for the sake of one person, then in the note it is still worth writing all the deceased relatives and acquaintances.

It is also worth ordering the "forty-year-old about the deceased", these are certain prayer rules that the clergy will read for forty days. You can submit notes in different churches and at the same time, this will only enhance their effect and power. They pray during this period and at home, if you do not know how to do this, then it will be the right decision not to undertake prayer deeds on their own, but with the blessing of the priest. If the priest gives a blessing, then at home you can read the Psalter and special prayers every day, about which the priest will say.

Of course, in order for the prayer to come from a pure heart and have great power, it is worth taking the sacrament yourself, but only having adequately prepared for this event. Before that, you must fast for three days and do the morning and evening completely. prayer rule, in addition, read the three canons and the succession to Holy Communion. All these rules and detailed recommendations are in every prayer book, the main thing is to start this matter with peace of mind and good intentions.

Now the pilgrimage is very developed, and many have a wonderful opportunity to visit various holy places, in many churches they collect notes and, by a certain date, deliver them to a sacred place where they will be read.

Coming to church, you should know that candles for the people of the dead are placed only in a certain place. If you look around carefully, you will find in the church a large crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and next to a flat candlestick with big amount cells for candles, other options are possible, but this is the more common type.

In many temples nearby there is a printout with a prayer that is worth saying at the cross and lighting a candle.

In many churches there is a special memorial table, on which people put food for remembrance. These can be bread, cereals, fruits, cookies, and candy. In monasteries, this food goes to the kitchen, where they prepare a meal for parishioners, and if these are monasteries, then for pilgrims.

How exactly to commemorate in six months

On a certain date in the morning, you need to visit the temple, defend the service and submit a note. It is worth leaving food for remembrance. If possible, after the Divine Liturgy, a memorial prayer service should be ordered. You should definitely light a candle and quietly pray from the bottom of your heart for the deceased, you need to say the words to yourself and you can do it in your own words. The main thing is not eloquence, but the essence and purity of thought and prayer, which they turn to God. This will help you to quench your sorrow and sadness a little, such prayers allow you to feel the soul of a loved one and find some peace.

After visiting the church, they go to the cemetery. At the grave, you need to light a candle, so that the light does not go out, it is better to purchase a special lamp in advance, in which the candle is placed. You can leave cookies and sweets on the grave so that random people could remember. It is still not worthwhile to have a meal at the grave by yourself, the custom implies leaving the memorial products at the grave. Priests always say that the main thing is prayer, not food, and even more so at the cemetery. There is a place of peace and quiet, where you just have to grieve and pray.

They often arrange a memorial dinner in a cafe or at home, invite people who were familiar with the deceased and remember him kind words... As a rule, people come in the morning, and the meal itself does not drag on for long time... The assortment of dishes should be restrained, in other words, it is still not worth having a feast.

You can cook the deceased's favorite dishes on the table, but the rest of the menu has a classic look, this is the first, second, salad and, without fail, for each of the guests they put a pie and sweets with cookies on the table. This is a rather old custom; pies are commemorated after death on the ninth day and on subsequent dates. But after the funeral, on the second day, the relatives of the deceased bake cakes, pour them with honey and carry them to neighbors and friends who knew him well. This tradition has been preserved since ancient times, when pies and crumpets were not bought, but baked on their own.

Before a meal, it is imperative to read a prayer and taste three spoons of kutya, and after that you can already start eating.

Some know in advance how many people there will be at dinner, and prepare memorial envelopes for them. This is a small set consisting of cookies and sweets, the quantity is determined by each independently, but, as a rule, it is a couple of cookies and the same amount of sweets. It is worth remembering that if six months fell during the fast, then the dishes must be lean without fail.

There is no need to worry and be upset about this, since there is big choice lean and quite tasty dishes.

Meat dishes are replaced by fish dishes, and the rest of the menu remains unchanged. If six months fell on the time of Great Lent, then you can commemorate either on Saturday or Sunday. Wednesday and Friday are considered unchanged fast days, on these days, dishes should not contain meat products.

From the side of the church, the commemoration with alcoholic beverages is completely disapproved. It is advisable that there are non-alcoholic drinks on the table.

Dishes on the memorial table

An obligatory dish on the table is kutia, it is made from millet or rice. They put it in small bowls, each for 2-3 people. Before you start eating, you need to eat three tablespoons of kutya. This tradition has its roots in antiquity, when Christian traditions were just being born.

Prepare wheat kutya as follows:

The groats are soaked in water overnight. Wheat is cooked early in the morning until tender.
When the cereal is ready, it is seasoned with honey and raisins are added.
Raisins should be soaked in hot water for a couple of hours before adding to kutyu.
The dressing is made from warm boiled water and honey.
Kutia should not be too thin or thick.

In addition to the traditional funeral kutya, compote or jelly is a must, as well as pies baked in the oven.

The main menu consists of the first course, most often borscht. This dish can be both lean and meat, it all depends on the time of remembrance.

Second courses, as a rule, are mashed potatoes and meat gravy. From meat dishes prefer cutlets or chops. For lean menu goulash can be substituted for baked or fried fish.

The rest of the menu is at your discretion. For example, the salad served can be meat, fish or vegetable, some prepare two types. From appetizers, you can make spring rolls or pita rolls. You should not put a lot of snacks, two types are enough, two salads and slices with cheese and sausage.

If you do a commemoration in a cafe

Today, many people prefer memorial dinners spend not at home, but in a cafe where there is memorial tables... In such establishments, the menu has already been carefully compiled, and if desired, it can be slightly supplemented and changed in your opinion.

The cafe has two types of menu, lean and classic. When ordering lunch in a cafe, it is necessary to agree in advance on the time and number of guests; different situations... The fact is that earlier everyone who wanted to honor the memory of the deceased came to the memorial meal, but today this tradition has changed a little, people, as a rule, do not come without an invitation.

Still, it is important to remember the deceased first of all in the church, this should be given special attention.

It is very important for Christians to order a prayer service on the day of commemoration for the soul of the deceased in the church and go to the grave, where a lamp is lit in memory of the person.

Very often there are small chapels on the territory or near the cemetery, in which you can light candles and leave notes. In addition, priests often agree to hold a prayer service directly at the grave of the deceased; this is considered a good tradition, where the priest mentions not only the name of the deceased, but also those who are buried nearby.

It is worth remembering not only on certain dates, but also every day in your prayers, this will help preserve a warm and bright memory of a loved one and find peace of mind and some kind of consolation in your loss.

Hello Olga.
It is very good that you can pray for your father!
Firstly, order the Forty-tongues "On Repose" in the Church, you need to do this without fail. Secondly, in the prayer book in "Morning Prayers" there is a prayer "For the departed", it is located at the very end of the morning prayers. There is also such a petition: "Remember, Lord, the souls of Thy servants who have fallen asleep, my parents ( their names), and all relatives in the flesh; and forgive all their sins, voluntary and involuntary, grant them the Kingdom and the communion of Your eternal good and Your endless life of pleasure ... "Then you can pray, reading the Psalter. In the Church, when Panikhidas are performed, 17 Kathisma is always read, this Kathisma you can The order of reading the entire Psalter for the departed is as follows: each kathisma begins with the prayer "Come, let us worship ..." (three times); for each "Glory" the kathisma is read the prayer "Remember, our Lord our God ...", which is at the end " Followings after the departure of the soul ", and the mind of the deceased is commemorated on it, and at the end of the kathisma, the Trisagion according to our Father is read, the troparia are deceased and the prayer laid after each kathisma. Any pious layman can read the Psalter for the dead. In some prayer books there is such a prayer rule." Litia for the departed, made by a layman ", if you find it, read this rule as well. You can always pray for the dead, except for the day of Holy Easter. On this bright day, Great On the second of the Feast, even in the Church they do not carry out the funeral service for the departed.
You can serve alms with anything other than drugs and alcohol. You can serve with clothes, money, food. Who should you serve? To whom you want, only giving alms, say: "For Christ's sake, for the peace of the servant (s) of God (s) (name)". Such charity will be protected as a good deed that you do for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ. You can also give alms to the Church, for example, you can bring something from food to the Church refectory. For those homeless people who sit at the Church doors, and they are usually always drinkers, you can only serve food, because money they will most likely spend on drink. Although, on this issue, the opinions of the priests differ, some say that everyone needs to serve, regardless of the person's appearance (drunk or not) according to the word of the Lord Jesus Christ: "Give to him who asks from you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you" (Matt 5.42), others say that it is best to give to such people with food or clothing. I agree more with the opinion of the second priests that it is better to serve food or clothing. And the poor (not drunkards) can and should be served out of need, if you can - with money, if not - then with clothes or food.
God bless you!
Sincerely,
Archpriest Alexei