Reason or senses? This question interests many people at different periods of their lives. Perhaps among your friends there are clear supporters of one side or the other. And what does it mean to live by reason or feeling? After all, we all, to one degree or another, think and feel and try to somehow "balance" these mystical components of life. But often people have to regret this or that choice. "It would be better if I then thought carefully and acted according to the situation", "I never felt happy in these moments, I can not enjoy life ... I do not feel anything." Each of us grew up in a family where, to one degree or another, the cult of reason or feelings prevails. This, of course, leaves typos on our further actions. But what is best for our life is up to us to decide. The experience of each of us has already pushed us towards a certain decision. Did we make the right choice? What will be better for the way we live? How to reconcile mind and feelings and learn to live?
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Photo gallery: Is it worth replacing feelings with reason?
The senses
Here we have a girl who constantly steps on the same rake, makes the same mistakes, but is content with every happy minute and enjoys life. It seems to you that she seems to “live and breathe with her full chest”, rejoices at every beautiful minute and that she does everything right, that this is how she should act. We see her happy with her new chosen one, how she shines from the inside. Romance at every step, ecstasy and dreams. But when her heart is broken again, you think: how stupid it all looks from the outside. Why is she suffering so much? Why can't he pull himself together, after all, everyone does this, it seems, it’s not so hard. Emotions on her face change one after another, she then suffers, then again pulls herself together. And when the next chance comes, he catches it with a strong grip.
Have you ever acted against the expectations of others? Didn't listen to your parents, who constantly convinced you of a certain point of view, but you did it all the same in your own way? Or when you went against your superiors, general rules, or even just your requirements and plans? Because they wanted to? In each of these cases, you probably acted in obedience to your feelings. And perhaps even in half of these cases they regretted what they had done.
And although feelings often let us down, we still return to them again and again, making an impulse, a leap, abandoning plans for our desires. We take risks, we fall, we rise and live again. This is human nature - to feel. And even if you choose to trust only your mind, it will be self-deception, because a person cannot live without feelings. No matter how reliable we are, no matter how we describe our plans and thoughts, each of us has our weaknesses and “impulses”. Everyone needs to make mistakes sometimes, to do crazy things in order to feel alive.
Feelings can be the choice of both a very weak and a very strong person. When feelings are a choice a weak person- this is what torments us for many years. These are weaknesses, attachments that prevent us from living. This is a wife who cannot leave her alcoholic husband because of attachment and confusion. There are many cases when feelings interfere with making a very important choice, torment us, complicate our life. Feelings and emotions should not bring grief and suffering. If we choose feelings and suffer from this choice, then something is wrong.
At the same time, feelings can be the choice of a very strong person. Because when we trust our instincts, we trust ourselves. This is the choice of a self-confident person who lives in harmony with his inner world. Reason is often not our choice, but the choice of the environment, society, a choice that other people have made before us and impose this opinion on us. Reason is often stereotypes that destroy feelings. A person who trusts his emotions is not mistaken in them. After all, the whole essence of this choice is to then not regret it and be completely confident in the correctness of the deed. Feelings are chosen by individualists and strong personalities because they know how to express themselves and what to tell the world. Indeed, in the end, it is the feelings of ethics that make us human and fill our life with meaning.
Intelligence
Man has his own "sins", mistakes and doubts. Reason throws to each of us at some moment in life " Lifebuoy”, Relieves of tragedies, helps to comprehend the situation and even to improve it. There are people who consider the mind to be the main assistant in all life conflicts. After all, feelings often cloud decisions, push us to selfishness and inherent in our nature shortcomings. Feelings are the little selfish child in us who demands to fulfill his whims. The mind is an adult who has to pacify the child inside from time to time. Moreover, planning and informed decisions help us avoid many mistakes.
But if you plan ahead, sooner or later you can get burned. People who give decisions to reason are more anxious, afraid of doing something wrong, losing, making mistakes. Trusting your “I” is often useful, as well as listening to inner whims. Another approach leads to stress, frustration and conflicts with oneself. When choosing a mind, sooner or later you realize that a certain side of sensitivity and emotionality leaves you and you are no longer capable of experiences and vivid emotions. Now, in beautiful and pleasant situations, reason and analysis come to the rescue. And so he tells us: “Everything is good, everything is wonderful. But why do I feel so little? "
Harmony within us
Of course, no one can choose only one method - living with the mind or senses. We understand that in different situations it is worth listening to each of these parties. And perhaps they are not even as militant as they seem? When to choose the mind and when to choose the feeling? In fact, these are not such warring parties. With experience comes harmony, and with harmony and correct decisions that will help combine the answers of each of these parties, weigh your impulses and desires, but also analyze situations and give due to the situation. Intuition tells us when to listen to which side. And even if we make mistakes, others will criticize us, the main thing is a personal choice. You should not be afraid of new methods and solutions, you need to be confident in your choice, not to conflict with yourself and trust your heart or mind. It is better to learn from your mistakes than to listen to the advice of others.
Let's talk about emotions. About feelings... About how to live in general - relying on reason or on feelings? What's the best? How is it "more correct"?
Our senses and our minds are not always in tune. Let's say you came from a date. You liked the young man very much. The next day, in the morning, you are waiting for his call (or at least an SMS - it doesn't matter). And he doesn't call. And your heart is beating, beating: call him yourself, call him. And mind - don't you dare! girls don't call first! Who is there to listen to - the heart or the head?
Or take, for example, a wife who is enraged that her husband does not consistently close the tube of paste (throws socks, is late, splashes the bathroom floor, does not keep promises, substitute his own). And her irritation flares up in response to another tube, sock, etc. She starts yelling at her husband. Where does so much emotion come from? And what is it about - her irritation?
Let's figure it out.
We often hear: live with your heart! Living with your heart means living with emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings are different things, did you know? Emotions are short-lived, simple and unambiguously colored. Basic emotions are joy, sadness, anger, disgust, contempt, fear, shame, surprise, interest, grief, guilt.
Feelings, on the other hand, are longer, persistent and complex emotional states. But the most important thing is that feelings are inherently very contradictory and ambivalent... Well, for example, love... She brings happiness. And she also brings suffering. Or envy: it can devour a person from the inside, or it can activate and encourage actions.
From this we can conclude that living with feelings is difficult. Since feelings are contradictory and ambiguous, it is not easy, relying on them, to act consistently and not be tormented by doubts. And have you noticed that people whose lives are governed by emotions are very impulsive (that is, they act in obedience to the first inner impulse)? And this impulsiveness consistently leads to a heap of broken firewood.
But this does not mean at all that feelings and emotions should not be trusted. Necessary!
Emotions never lie!
First of all, emotions serve as a signal to us about meeting our needs... Well, for example: you have set yourself some kind of goal (say, in new apartment move out of your parents, because with your parents you and your husband are not life, you constantly quarrel because of them). They saved up, saved up money, looked for options. We moved. The goal has been achieved. What emotions have arisen? If you feel joy, satisfaction, calmness, then the goal was right. This is what you were aiming for. And if there is no joy? If you have fought before, so are you. The need for an even relationship with her husband is not being met. This means that it was not the parents that were involved, and not the apartment. And now we have to think by what other means this need can be satisfied.
Those who are skeptical about life with their hearts suggest “turning on the head,” that is, live by reason. However, "reasonable behavior" does not guarantee success at all and does not exclude mistakes. Because a pure mind, without the promptings of the heart, is unable to recognize and satisfy our desires, is unable to correctly understand others and is still unable to do many things. A "correct" life, where everything is logical, thought out and weighed, will never make us completely happy.
The truth, as always, is somewhere in between: for harmonious functioning, a person needs a harmonious union of emotions and reason. You just need to understand the nature of both, and not forget why we need them.
The main function of emotions- to give us subtle information about our condition and the condition of another person. Any emotion is a signal that something is wrong (or vice versa "so"). Here you are sitting at a party. Everyone around is having fun, and everything seems to be fine. And you are somehow not very good. Everyone asks: what's wrong with you, what's wrong? And you yourself don't know. And here, at this important stage, when you feel some kind of internal discomfort, and should turn on the head: to understand what's wrong. Feel what is wrong, it is impossible. This can only be understood by going through many options.
Emotions are more than eloquent. Let's return to the example with the wife, who is enraged that the husband does not consistently close the tube of paste (throws socks, is late, splashes the bathroom floor, does not keep promises, etc.). Her irritation - what is it about? About an unmet need for contact... In other words, she misses him. warmth, inclusiveness maybe even respect and adopting... And this inclusiveness, this respect is sought in a completely inadequate way, because emotions have accumulated - for a whole atomic explosion.
There is another interesting point in this example: there is no purpose as such in this behavior of the wife. She simply does not realize her need for warm emotional contact and does not seek to realize it in any way. Pokes like a blind kitten. He didn't close the tube, and she yells at him. And she screams, in fact, from powerlessness to understand what is wrong with her, what does she need to be happy with him? I often ask my clients: why are you yelling at your husbands? what are you trying to achieve? They cannot find the answer to this question, except how difficult it is, perhaps, to close the paste? And what will this closed tube give? Happiness in your personal life? Will this make contact with your husband warmer? Nothing of the kind. There is no purpose, so the behavior is aimless, and therefore useless.
Which exit? Do not accumulate emotions, but track each of them... Everyone! Feel - tracked - reacted in a socially acceptable way. Those. saw another unclosed tube (sock, wet floor, unfulfilled promise) and went to another room. Then we talked about our feelings, thought about what, what unfulfilled need they were talking about ... Usually it is very difficult for us to figure out what we really want and what we are dissatisfied with. And here psychologists come to the rescue :).
If the function of emotions is to suggest what is wrong (or vice versa "so"), then the function of the head is to make a decision... It is very important that feelings remain only an instrument, and the last word still remained beyond reason.
If the mind fails, you can listen to the heart. It will undoubtedly tell you correct solution unless his wise whisper is drowned in screams of emotion.
If the heart is in a clear conflict with the head, then ...
Let's go back to our very first case - to call the one we liked young man or not?
Here you sit in front of the phone and suffer. You listen to a pounding heart (call! Call!) What does the desire to call tell you? - That the young man liked him. Highly. You feel great sympathy for him, maybe even love.
And at this wonderful moment, as we have already said, the brain should, ideally, turn on. And ask you a question: what, in fact, stops you from ringing? Indeed, in fact, if sympathy was mutual you would it and knew and felt... Then the question, to call - not to call, would not be worth it at all. You would live with your heart. And since there was a conflict and doubt, it means that one of your senses tells you that your sympathy is greater than his Or there is no sympathy on his part at all. And if there is no sympathy, you will hardly be able to achieve his location. That is, the time spent on it will be empty, the relationship you dream about will not work out for you.
What's the conclusion? Mentally, you realize that you don't need to call. But consciousness does not understand the whole chain that we have just traced here. Therefore, only a vague trace remains in him (consciousness), such a quiet inner voice that whispers: do not call.
And then only you can decide what to do next. Listen to the heart that drives you into the trap of a dead-end relationship. Or listen to your head and let your heart suffer a little. This is useful. It tempers. This teaches you to understand people.
If Aristotle defined a person as homo sapiens, by this he defined not so much a fact as a guideline for a way of life: "Man is the one who lives." In all centuries, in all world religions, people have been taught to pacify their passions, clear their minds of heated emotions, and more often live in spirit. For Christians, "passions" are an obstacle to the soul's admiration for God.
According to St. Theophan the Recluse, “God created our nature pure from passions. But when we fell away from God and, dwelling on ourselves, instead of God began to love ourselves and to please ourselves in every possible way, then in this self we perceived all the passions that are rooted in it and are born from it. "
In Islam, the concept of "nafs", that is, this bodily-sensual essence of a person, is compared to a horse: if a horse is unbridled, it must be fought with; if it is curbed, it must be controlled. For secular people, the Age of Enlightenment proclaimed the supremacy of reason and the need to subordinate to reason all other principles in man and society.
"Timeless, ahistorically understood, always identical to itself" rationality "as opposed to" delusions "," passions "," sacraments "was considered by the enlighteners as a universal means of improving society." - Pavel Gurevich. Philosophy of man. Part 2. Chapter 3. The Age of Enlightenment: the discovery of the subject.
However, times are changing, and starting somewhere in the 60s of the twentieth century, there is a massive propaganda of views "above reason". Previously, this was written only in women's novels, but soon it moved into quasi-spiritual literature (Osho about the priority of intuition and feelings), became fashionable in the books of Paulo Coelho ("live with feelings!") And soon became a common place in gestalt therapy.
"Feeling is closer to intuition. I do not expect the impossible, I do not say:" Be intuitive "- you cannot do this. Right now you can do only one thing - go from head to feeling, that will be enough. Then from feeling to intuition go it will be very easy. But the transition from thinking to intuition is very difficult. They do not meet, they are polar to each other. " - Osho.
The only place where respect for reason is still preserved and it is proposed to remove feelings when solving serious issues is business. If, when deciding on the placement of shares, you bring the boss not an analysis of stock reports, but refer to your inner feelings, you will soon have to leave the position of a financial advisor.
The slogan "live with feelings" became fashionable when women came to the public scene. Women are great at living with their heads, women are smart and practical, but women like to live with feelings, and where they can afford it, they do it. At work, a woman thinks well, is responsible and reasonable. But only a text message from her lover was displayed on the phone, the woman turns off her head and answers no longer as smart, but as is customary in female culture - impulsively, on the sails of feelings and emotions. When shaping decisions in her business plan, a woman calmly considers the risks, but if her child is ill, her reaction is more often emotional: her head turns off, anxiety and anxiety go.
Living with the senses or living with the head are two fundamentally different lifestyles. If a person lives by feelings, then he lives his luck through his feelings - through the feeling of joy, lightness and enthusiasm. If a person lives by feelings, then he lives through the mistakes he makes through his feelings - through feelings of guilt, experience, repentance and redemption. This is how he lives. If a person lives by reason, his life pattern is different: "I thought - I did it." More: comprehended, evaluated, rethought and made conclusions, set a task, corrected behavior, evaluated the results, set the following tasks. This is how a rational person acts.
Why do some people live with their senses and others with their heads? First of all, this is the result of education. As people have been taught, so they live.
I lived among those who always turned on the head - I used to live the same way. I lived among those who have always lived with feelings, for me it became my norm of life. Children and some girls are so accustomed to living with feelings that they, that someday you can be guided by your head.
Age and gender characteristics play a certain role. Children often live with feelings adulthood assumes a large role of reason, however, where people can choose their way of life on their own, men are more often guided by reason, women - by feelings.
Against the background of a hormonal storm, it is really difficult to turn on the head, and if a girl is expected to have a rather soft character than a sharp mind, then the habit of “turning on her head” may not develop. And it will be difficult to turn on the head.
Is it difficult to live with your head on? It can be difficult to turn on the head often at first, but over time it becomes easier and easier. On the one hand, the head learns to think always and it becomes natural, just like using a spoon and fork while eating (this is no longer annoying, moreover, without this, it’s even somehow uncomfortable, right?), On the other hand, in the course of life, many similar situations will gradually be resolved by established templates, automatically. You do everything right, and your head is free. See Patterns: Harm or Benefit.
A fragment from the TV series "Sex in big city": Samantha decided to have an affair with a rich man. He gave her VERY expensive gifts, but when she saw him naked, Samantha CHECKED and ran away (well, with gifts). feelings, then there are no ethical claims to her. Well, what do you want from a woman in feelings? "
Those who do not turn on their heads and live with feelings, and other troubles, and in the presence of at least some intelligence with age, the understanding comes: "it is useful to think." but modern life arranged in such a way that it is quite possible to live your life without including your head, in difficult situations you can just cry, and in very difficult situations, good relatives and social security help will always help. The only question is - would you yourself want to live next to such a person? Will you teach this to your children?
Appreciate the mind, live with your head. Learn to think, more often turn to the mind - and to your own mind, and to the minds of the people around you. Does this mean that you need to live without emotions? Of course not! Just distinguish between left and right emotionality. Indeed, there is impressionability and impulsive response, and there is the power of temperament and emotional expressiveness. The tendency to splash out feelings, impressionability and impulsive reactions is more of a problematic feature and a bad habit that makes people worry, make stupid purchases and make decisions that the person himself and those around him will regret. This is left emotionality. On the other hand, high energy of emotions, expressive gestures and strength of temperament - useful tool and a good personality trait, since it is easily combined with the reasonableness of decisions and behavior. This is the right emotionality, it is joyful, useful and great.
Smart people emotions paint life, but in a situation they are able to push aside emotions and turn to the mind.
If your emotions coincide with what you came to with your head - great, include emotions. If emotions contradict the head - remove them. It is not obvious that with your head you will always come to the best decisions, but this will mean not that you need to live with feelings, but that you need to become a more educated person and learn to think better.
Can a person live without feelings? Sooner or later, this question arises for every person. Is it worth replacing emotions with reason? In the world you can find thousands of people who believe that life is worth living, including common sense, because it is calmer and more stable this way. Others, on the contrary, cannot imagine their life without constant bright outbursts of emotions. As always, the truth is somewhere in between. Let's find out how to try to balance these two antipodes: rationality and emotionality?
Intelligence
It is common for every person to be afraid of something and to doubt something. A cold mind often "helps" us out: protects us from tragedies, helps to comprehend difficult situations and come to a certain conclusion. A life without feelings saves us from disappointment, but it also does not allow us to genuinely rejoice. Can a person live without feelings? Definitely - it cannot. That's why we and humans are to show emotions.
Another thing is that inside us there is a constant struggle between reason and feelings. A person is not perfect, he has to think about what to do almost every day. Very often we react to this or that situation, guided by generally accepted rules.
For example, if our boss unfairly criticizes us, then we, as a rule, do not react very violently, but agree or calmly try to justify ourselves. With this version of events, the mind wins, which awakens in us.Of course, feelings play an important role, but to be able to control them if necessary - good quality.
The senses
Can a person live without feelings? We are not robots, each of us constantly experiences various emotions. Reason is given to people so that they know how to show emotions. Anger, joy, love, fear, sadness - who doesn't know all these feelings? The characteristic is very broad and multifaceted. It's just that people manifest them in different ways. Someone immediately throws out all their joy or anger on others, while someone hides their emotions very deeply.
In our time, the expression of feelings is not considered "fashionable". If a guy sings songs under the balcony of his beloved, then this is more likely to be called eccentricity, and not a manifestation of the most sincere feelings. We became afraid to show our feelings even to the closest people. Very often, in pursuit of a prosperous life, we forget about our emotional state... Many people really try to hide their feelings as far as possible. V modern society it is believed that the ability to show emotions is a sign of weakness. A person who has feelings will always be more vulnerable than a person who has everything based on calculation. But at the same time emotional person may be happier than a rationalist.
Various emotions can bring both great happiness and excruciating pain. Can a person live without feelings? It cannot and should not! If you can feel, then you are living interesting life... Know how to rejoice simple things, do not get upset over trifles and look at the world with optimism. If you can “make friends” with your emotional and rational “I”, then you will definitely achieve harmony and happiness.
Mind and intelligence are one and the same, what do you think? But according to the Vedas - this difference exists, and it lurks in the sphere of control. Let's figure it out, as I think this post might get you thinking and rethinking a lot.
Physical body
If you take a person and "put him on the shelves," then the coarsest component of it is the material part, namely the physical body.
The senses
Above the body (higher in level) is already a more "advanced part" of a person - these are feelings (sight, hearing, touch ... - do not confuse with emotions), which controls the body. The senses, depending on the situation, force the body to produce certain hormones, accelerate the heart rate, increase the "combat readiness" of the body, etc. Feelings are directly related to emotions.
Mind
The senses are controlled by the mind, which directs the senses to various objects and events. The mind is a feature not only of humans, but also of animals. In addition to controlling the senses, the mind has an inherent activity of acceptance or rejection, which it constantly does. By the way, the mind itself is not so “smart”, because regardless of the consequences, it only does what it seeks for comfort and pleasure, and by all means tries to avoid pain and unpleasantness.
Conclusion - the mind through the senses seeks only pleasure, not thinking about the consequences.
Intelligence
If the mind was for modern man“The highest authority”, then all our activities would be reduced only to eating deliciously, having sex and sleeping well, but fortunately for us, there is a “smarter boss” above our mind - this is the mind.
The mind controls the mind, and therefore controls the entire organism, with only one caveat - if the mind is really developed and strong.
The work of the mind is very similar to the work of the mind - to accept or reject, but the difference is that, unlike the mind, the mind tends to analyze and evaluate something like this: “Yes, it may be pleasant, but it is not the best solution, since the consequences of this action can be dire. I'd rather be patient now, but I will protect myself from harm later. "
As you can see, the mind is much more far-sighted than the mind, it does not follow the lead of the senses, it is a more reasonable boss.
Reason is what distinguishes us from animals.
Soul
And a few words about the most subtle substance of our body - about the soul. The soul stands above the mind, in fact, this is the true you.
Living with your soul means completely relying on the "Mind (WILL) of God", always loving everyone (not as an emotion), having a connection with God ...
Enlightened, holy people live in souls, small children live in souls. Selfishness, anger and others are not peculiar to the soul negative emotions, the soul knows almost everything and looks at the world "without glasses and fog in the head."
Living with your soul is the best way life, but unfortunately for us so far it is very difficult, since for this we need to cleanse ourselves of all the negativity and abandon much of the "earthly".
As you can see, we are all quite complicated (in fact, much more complicated) and we have everything in us to live correctly and happily. But why then do we all live differently?
And the whole point is that each of us lives according to the scenario of the one who is "the king in the head" at the moment.
The presence of the mind is not a guarantee that it is stronger than the mind. If the mind is highly developed, then yes, but if not, then the person becomes a "slave to passions."
Let's consider some scenarios for the development of life, depending on who is in power.
The mind is in power
If the mind is stronger than the mind, then one cannot escape from sin. Such a person lives with emotions and seeks such pleasures as: tasty food, sex, more money, etc.
The mind lives by the motto: "May it be good for me now, and then whatever happens". This is the path of alcoholism, drug addiction, AIDS and violence. Fortunately, the total power of the mind is a very rare phenomenon, since the mind, although to varying degrees, still has its own power and intervenes in every situation.
Reason or "the correct king in the head"
As I wrote above, "living with your soul" is the best of the options for life, but for most of us today, it is still very difficult, and the next, highest step spiritual development- there will be life by reason.
A Strong Mind Is Much Better strong mind... Thanks to the mind, many mistakes can be avoided, such as they say: "He has a king in his head." If the mind is developed, a person does not go on about feelings, does not allow the mind to follow the destructive path of seeking pleasure, but takes all this under control, trying to make the right decision.
Living with your soul is living with God
Mind is cool, but without a soul, it's just a computer for making logical decisions. And although most of us are still far from enlightenment, this does not mean that the soul does not interfere in the choice of every action. No matter how developed a person is, the voice of conscience (soul) is characteristic of every person, albeit to a different degree.
Enlightened people live with their souls, and we must strive for such a life. Living with your soul is living with God, in God, according to His commandments. This is a life without suffering, or to be more precise, I will say this: this is a life where physical suffering means practically nothing, because in this state you feel like an imperishable part of the World Ocean of Life.
You lost in thoughts?
After reading my small, simplified excursion about the hierarchy of mind, mind, feelings and soul, you probably already thought about such simple, but very important questions for each of us: “So who are the kings in your head now? Which of them have real power in your life today? " ...
And here is the answer to the question: "What to do in order to jump higher one step, for example, from the power of the mind to the power of reason?" - then, this is already the topic of the next posts.
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