It is difficult to overestimate the importance of emotions in human life They give meaning to our lives, unite us with other people, and are also the basis for understanding ourselves and our relationship to other people. Emotions, literally, determine the image of our being, thanks to emotions, we have the opportunity to be sad and cry when we feel bad, rejoice and laugh when we are in good mood. Without them, we would not be what we are, would not be people, in the full sense of the word. Without emotions, we would turn into some kind of robots, endowed with reason, but deprived of a soul. However, despite the great importance that we attach to emotions, we must remember that we are the masters of our emotions, and not their puppets. Man, as the "crown of creation", is one step above the entire animal kingdom. This obliges us to early years learn to be aware of and control your emotions, to be above them and to be able to act contrary to emotional impulses when necessary.

A person who knows how to recognize and control their emotions is able to think clearly and creatively, cope with stress and anxiety more effectively, communicate with other people on an equal footing, express love, trust and empathy. Problems and troubles do not cloud his head, but are perceived by him as a challenge. He is ready to accept this challenge and easily directs his efforts to overcome the obstacles facing him. On the other hand, losing control over their emotions, a person ceases to fully manage himself and his life. He acts contrary to common sense, is quick-tempered, overly emotional, often in bad mood and tries to isolate himself from the outside world. As a result, life just passes by. The benefits of controlling your emotions are obvious, and it is unlikely that anyone would turn down the opportunity to learn this. In this article, we will show you how to take one not very difficult, but infinitely important step to control your emotions, it will be about developing emotional awareness.

What is emotional awareness?

We all, by nature, tend to experience emotions. Good and bad, they appear in us in response to external stimuli and influence our way of thinking and acting. In fact, they guide us, especially if we are not aware of them and do not resist the influence they exert. Well, we rarely do that. We observe the appearance of this or that emotion, but do not attach any importance to it - we simply act as we have always acted. Only occasionally do we ask questions:

• “What caused this emotion to arise?”
• “Does it correspond to the real state of things or has it grown against the background of excessive impressionability?”
• “Will I do the right thing if I do what I want to do at the moment?”

In these rare moments, we may find that our behavior is dictated to us by momentary needs and differs from the main life line that we have chosen for ourselves. But, unfortunately, these glimpses of consciousness are not enough to direct your life in the right direction. Being emotionally aware, we are fully aware of our feelings and emotions, as well as the feelings of other people and the reasons for their occurrence. Thus, emotional awareness involves the ability to identify and express emerging emotions. It is an understanding of the connections between our feelings and actions and the ability to predict and prevent unwanted behavior.

Benefits of emotional awareness.

One of the main benefits of emotional awareness is that you gain more control over your own emotions, and therefore over your entire life. Anger, depression, anxiety and restlessness, excessive impulsivity, emotional instability and feelings of isolation lose their power over you. The understanding comes that it is our emotions, not thoughts, that push us and determine our behavior. Emotional awareness gives us many levers of control over ourselves and circumstances, which most of the existing self-development techniques cannot provide. Of particular note are the following benefits of emotional awareness:

• Knowing yourself, your likes and dislikes.
• Understanding and compassion for other people.
• Open and effective communication.
• Making wise decisions that contribute to the achievement of long-term goals.
• Motivation and high activity on the way to goals.
• Building strong, healthy and valuable relationships.
• Creating emotional balance, without sudden mood swings.
• The ability to give an account of one's actions and words.
• A high level of internal energy that is no longer wasted.
• Resilience to stressful situations.
• High level of personal effectiveness.
• Healthy expression of emotions.

The list can go on and on, because along with the main benefits, you get a lot of other benefits, directly or indirectly related to them. Perhaps we will devote a separate article to the benefits of emotional awareness, listing them in this article was not part of our plans. And, in the process of increasing the level of emotional awareness, you yourself will be able to discover positive changes in yourself.

What is your level of emotional awareness?

Each of us, to one degree or another, has the ability to recognize our emotions. Someone more, someone less, but you probably lack this skill if you purposefully did not develop it. time and life experience only partly increases this ability, and not always and not for everyone. That is why it is so important to take the initiative in your own hands. But before embarking on the path of developing emotional awareness, it is advisable to determine how much this skill is developed in you. For this purpose, you should take a closer look at yourself and ask yourself a few simple questions:

• Can you remain calm when experiencing strong emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, disgust, and joy?
• Do you feel the presence of emotions in your body?
• Are you able to listen to the voice of your mind, no matter how you feel?
• Do you trust your body's emotional signals?
• Do you allow yourself to experience negative emotions?
• Do you notice changes in the emotional background?
• Do your emotions change throughout the day?
• Do you think other people are generally understanding and empathetic towards your emotions?
• Are you comfortable when other people know how you feel?
• Do you feel the presence of emotions in other people and can you put yourself in the place of these people?

If you can honestly answer “yes” to all questions, your level of emotional awareness is quite high, you may well do without further development of it. If you cannot answer “yes” to all questions, or “yes” is true for all questions, but not for all situations, you should work on yourself. And finally, if you answered “no” to most of the questions, well, you are far from alone, and you should definitely consider developing your emotional awareness.

Keep in mind that the answers to these questions cannot accurately predict what your level of emotional awareness is, so it will be helpful for you to read about the existing classifications of these levels. So, Drs. Richard D. Lane and Schwartz spoke quite interestingly about the levels of emotional awareness. In their work, they reflected the range of human abilities to be aware of their emotions in six levels. Briefly, these six levels of consciousness look like this:

• 1. Lack of emotional awareness.
• 2. Awareness of bodily sensations.
• 3. Awareness of behavior.
• 4. Awareness of the current emotional state.
• 5. Differentiated emotional awareness.
• 6. Mixed emotional awareness.

There is another version of the classification of levels of emotional awareness, found on the website of one of the missionary organizations in Spain. Knowing these levels will help you decide what level you are at and will serve as a good starting point for your further development.

Development of emotional awareness.

The first thing you need to understand is that developing emotional awareness is a long process that requires a lot of time and effort. People have been taming their emotions for years, and they don't always get the job done, especially if they don't know which direction to go in. This process may take a little less time for you, but for this you need to follow the recommendations given below.

1. Learn to relieve stress.

Many people know that stress is a natural state of our body, which is in adverse conditions. It can be as harmful as it is helpful. For example, he helped people of the Stone Age and slightly later periods of history - to activate the internal reserves of the body in order to cope with enemies or run away from them, make quick decisions and catch prey. For most of us, in the civilized world, it only harms, because we have nowhere to put excess energy. Stress overshadows our consciousness and prevents us from acting adequately, and, even more so, when stress arises, we are the least able to recognize the presence of emotions in ourselves. You can learn how to properly and quickly relieve stress from the articles on our website in the "Stress" section.

2. Get knowledge about human emotions.

Study questions about what emotions exist, how they are created in our body and what effect they have on it. Find out how our environment causes certain emotions to arise, what effect they have on our perception of the surrounding reality, on our thoughts and actions. How more knowledge about your body you get, the easier it will be for you to manage yourself, and the higher will be your ability to realize your emotions. And no, you do not have to get additional education, or study a mountain of literature on human psychology and physiology, superficial knowledge will be enough - the main ideas that matter most.

3. Watch yourself.

Monitor the presence of emotions and try to determine for yourself how you feel. What is it like to be angry? How do you feel when you get angry at someone or something? What is sadness for you? How does fear affect you? How does your sadness show up? How do you rejoice and laugh? What physical sensations accompany your emotions? How productive are you when you experience certain emotions? How long can an emotion stay in you? Listen to yourself and try to develop the ability to identify the emotions you are experiencing. Find out how wide and varied the spectrum of your emotions is? How many types of emotions do you find in yourself? As you observe your emotions, you will come to understand yourself, and your level of emotional awareness will also increase.

4. Learn to accept your emotions.

It is not necessary to avoid or suppress your emotions, this can negatively affect all areas of your life. Thus, avoiding emotions deprives you of the opportunity to understand yourself. By suppressing negative emotions, you block positive emotions, and, among other things, this activity requires too much energy and prevents you from developing relationships with other people. But, allow yourself to experience emotions of any nature and the situation will change in better side. Just accept your emotions, let emotions fill your body. Do not dwell on them for too long, do not attach importance to them, so as not to prolong their existence. They will leave you as quickly as they came. Their place will soon be taken by other emotions, then another and another.

5. Follow the path of your emotions.

Having found any emotion in yourself, whether it be anger, fear or joy, try to identify the reason for its appearance, without missing a single detail. What in your environment caused this emotion to arise? What thoughts do you find in your head when you experience these emotions? In what ways do you usually express these emotions? Watch your facial expressions, gestures, voice, intonation and words. What conscious or unconscious actions can you identify? What do you usually do to get rid of or, conversely, to prolong the stay in you of any emotion. How effective are your actions in eliminating or prolonging emotions? In the early stages of developing emotional awareness, keeping notes can be helpful, allowing you to do better introspection.

Developing emotional awareness is one of the most important steps to taking control of yourself and your own life. With the improvement of this skill, you will learn to identify unwanted behavior and motives that drive you, you will come to understand yourself, get a complete picture of what in your environment causes you joy, sadness, fear, anger and other emotions. In the future, emotional awareness will allow you to correct your behavior, use your emotions and their energy as a source of strength to overcome obstacles, manage other people if necessary, and much, much more. Become the sole and full owners of your life and make it what you want to see, success to you and all the best!

(5)

Despite the fact that we constantly experience certain emotions (albeit not always strongly and clearly expressed), it is far from always easy to understand our own emotional state, to correctly recognize our emotions.

Not without reason, both in art and in many psychological currents, the view of emotions as the "dark" side dominates - something powerful, but unknowable, captivating a person, literally forcing him to act this way and not otherwise. The reasons lie in the very features of this psychological phenomenon.

Firstly , emotions rarely appear in their pure form - almost always a person experiences some more or less complex combination of different emotions.

Secondly , the physiological responses that accompany each of the emotions have much in common: increased breathing and heart rate, muscle tension can be "symptoms" of fear, anger, and joyful anticipation. Therefore, bodily sensations, too, not only do not bring clarity to the recognition of a particular emotion, but, on the contrary, can give erroneous clues.

Don't miss the article.

Thirdly , each of us with early childhood learn to manage emotions. Unfortunately, ideas about how exactly this should be done are mainly determined by culture and traditions, but far from always correspond to the psychological well-being of each individual. One of the first to be attacked by society is the emotion of anger: in most contemporary cultures(and at least in Europe!) anger is considered unacceptable, harmful, dangerous.

It is clear that limiting the free expression of anger is a measure necessary for the survival of society. On the other hand, it is impossible to destroy this emotion for good, like the bubonic plague or smallpox virus: it is technically impossible, and besides, even if such a magical remedy were found, it would still be unacceptable to use it - after all, anger is necessary for a person to survive, in order to to protect yourself or others at the right time.

The result is a very ambiguous situation: anger is familiar to each of us, but we have learned from a young age that we “should not” experience it, much less show it.

A little less sharply, but also quite actively disapproved of by society, is the emotion of fear. Seemingly positive emotions such as joy and interest are also persecuted: children are constantly told that they should not show excessive curiosity, and also express their enthusiasm too violently - especially if the occasion, from the point of view of adults, does not deserve it.

As a result, we “do not recognize” many of our emotions simply because we consider them unacceptable.

And it turns out a vicious circle: emotions are considered "unreasonable", difficult to control, dangerous. Therefore, they are trying with all their might to curb - to suppress or completely subordinate to conscious regulation, forbidding their free experience and expression. As a result, we increasingly lose contact with our own emotional sphere, and due to the fact that we do not understand our emotions well, we find ourselves defenseless under their onslaught.

From what has already been said, it probably becomes clear how important it is to learn to understand your emotional world, to distinguish and be aware of your emotions. Regardless of how you are going to deal with them - to put them under control of the mind or freely express - for starters, you still need to understand what exactly you feel. Psychologists are tirelessly developing methods to teach people to recognize and understand emotions.

One of these methods is sensitivity training (i.e. sensitivity development).

The famous psychologist Carl Rogers described what is happening in the framework of such training as follows.

The leader of the training invites the audience to talk about themselves, their feelings, but he himself is limited to only a few remarks from time to time, in no case taking on a leadership role - which, of course, the participants of the training initially expect from him. Quite quickly, participants begin to experience confusion and irritation, since the current situation is incomprehensible to them: after all, usually people who apply for psychological help, they expect that the psychologist will “treat” them - ask them in detail, give recommendations. In fact, in the conditions of group training, the main healing and developing value is the relationship, the interaction that arises between people. After the situation in the group heats up to a certain high point, participants begin to more or less openly express their emotions - even if initially negative, associated with irritation and misunderstanding of what is happening.

An increase in the overall emotional degree leads to the fact that the group members become more frank, and this allows you to create new, trusting relationships between them. Gradually, an atmosphere of sincerity and mutual interest arises, people stop hiding their true feelings.

The sensitivity of the participants really increases, they learn to recognize the emotions of the people around them, notice and criticize those participants who are trying to be hypocritical or hide behind some kind of mask. Such an intense exchange of emotions, a constant Feedback between group members lead to the fact that people begin to more accurately recognize and understand the emotions of other people, and their own.

It is important to note: immersion in such a boiling "emotional cauldron" for someone can be not only not useful, but also truly dangerous!

We all need to be able to understand our emotions and the experiences of other people, but not everyone is ready to be in an environment of complete frankness and sometimes ruthless criticism. Sensitivity training (like any other psychological training, implying extremely close interaction with group members) can be of great benefit, but for a person who has a heightened sensitivity to criticism, who does not have more or less stable self-esteem, this method can cause painful psychological trauma.

V modern world there is a fairly large unconscious emotional charge that periodically seeks to be released through various social and climatic events. Every person is more or less

In the modern world, there is a fairly large unconscious emotional charge that periodically seeks to be released through various social and climatic events. Each person is a carrier of this charge to a greater or lesser extent, and understanding the internal processes and methods of work can significantly improve life in many of its aspects.

Mismatch of expectations with what is - the cause of emotions. When expectations are too high, there is a reaction in the form of “negative” emotions, when they are underestimated, “positive”. In general, this is an indicator of inaccuracy in being what is. In society, it is considered a “good” phenomenon when a person is emotional and this is encouraged in every possible way (except for negative manifestations), it is even considered that a person is “so alive” when he is emotional, but the fact remains the same - life is what it is. Any non-coincidence with this is a distance from life, not an approach. It's like that, by the way...

For a more practical approach, there is the following. Any emotional experience always has two components: the story that gives rise to this emotional experience and the energy behind this experience, the flow of sensations that accompanies it.

Too often, we get trapped in our own emotional stories, reinforcing the energy behind these experiences and only making the problem worse. No intellectual approach can defuse the blocked energy flow that underlies emotions and intense experiences. Therefore, intellectual approaches (endless talking and complaining for example) are practically useless in solving emotional problems.

If, however, to direct attention to the energy that gives rise to such experiences, then this will open the possibility for a quick and deep emotional release. There are two types of ineffective emotions: pre-emotions and accumulated emotions.

Pre-emotions are the result of our rigid expectations and attempts to force desirable outcomes. In addition, they arise from painful fantasies about what will not work out, how exactly it will not work out, how it will end badly, etc. All this is a filter, a kind of sunglasses: everything that is seen is perceived in the same key and color.

Accumulated emotions are any emotions that have not been fully lived in the past, resulting in stagnant blocked energy. This blocked energy latently delays and sabotages our life and self-realization. Escape from fully living your emotions has real and not very positive consequences.

All emotions are active energy. It's just energy that can't harm us.

When we understand that all of our emotions are really given to us as a gift, then we can relax and stop avoiding them or getting lost in the stories, images, and memories associated with them. We can accept them as they are: as energetic.

We will not be able to fully learn the lesson underlying emotion until we: take full responsibility for our emotional state; let go of our history and hidden benefit in the form of a desire to feel that we are right; unite with all energy as a whole.

Usually we tend to deny our own responsibility for our feelings in certain situations; instead, we blame others for the way we feel. Yet it is we who consciously and unconsciously decide how to feel when faced with such situations. Until we take full responsibility for all of our ingrained feelings, this accumulated and repressed reservoir of conflicting energy will never be integrated, healed, and dissolved.

But in order to accept and understand the energy that underlies an intense experience, it is necessary to let go of the story that we have attached to this experience. Essentially, this means leaving behind both thoughts and the hidden benefit of the sense of self-righteousness that often accompanies our habitual emotions. You can be right, or you can be happy. Only by taking full responsibility for your own emotional states and by completely letting go of all the stories we tell ourselves, we can fully embrace and integrate the energies of our emotions.

The greater the accumulated emotional charge, the more stress we will experience in life circumstances.

It takes a lot of energy to keep the repressed flow of energy. Ultimately, the accumulated energy spills into the autonomous nervous system. This aggravates stress and creates diseases, addictions, impulsive behavior.

The avoidance of accepting emotions occurs unconsciously and is associated with a fear of too much apparent intensity of these emotional states.

This one is very important point, because it clearly shows that we either avoid emotion, or completely identify and react automatically, like a machine. V early age, before the advent of speech skills, we could not fully assimilate these experiences and instinctively cut ourselves off from them. As a result, not only do we chronically avoid such experiences, but we identify deeply with them, either consciously or unconsciously believing that they define us. And since we made this decision before we developed the ability for language, it was buried in the deep recesses of our unconscious.

These unfinished emotional experiences continue to influence the development of our emotional brain, supporting the formation of neural connections that cause us to replay these experiences until we learn the lesson hidden in them. And this happens only when we become full owners of our emotions, fully experiencing them and allowing clarity, wisdom and intuition to bloom.

By becoming aware of the blocked energy underlying fragmented experiences, one can quickly dissolve its various manifestations in the form of non-constructive emotions and develop the ability to face any stressful situations with wisdom and understanding.

The ability to fully accept our feelings without trying to avoid, judge or identify with them is actually our innate ability. More high consciousness and compassion allow you to discover the causes and dissolve chaotic emotional experiences. Another issue is that neither we nor our parents were taught how to do this.

Incarnating into a human body, the Soul takes a certain amount of its energy with it. Plus, throughout her life, she is fed with energy from the Creator and from her Higher aspects. What do we, as humans, use this energy for?

We can invest it in creativity - the creation of our lives, the embodiment of our projects, ideas. Or we can just throw it out. There are many energy practices to fill the physical and thin bodies energy. But it is also necessary to find channels through which our energy leaves.

One of the energy leakage channels are negative, negative emotions. Although we know that there are no "good" and "bad" emotions - everything is an experience. Just for ease of understanding, we divide them into 2 groups.

I like this definition:

Negative emotions are emotions that hinder the growth and development of the Soul. Teachers from the Subtle World

Therefore, negative emotions are given so much attention.

What not to do with negative emotions

1. They can't suppress– i.e. to convince yourself that everything is fine when it is not at all.
2. They can't displace into the subconscious - i.e. convince yourself that there is no emotional problem when there is one.

Otherwise, suppressed and repressed emotions will create other problems - diseases, unpleasant situations. I wrote about this in .

During the consultation, the person and I are looking for the reasons for his life problems, and often these reasons are repressed and unexperienced emotions in past incarnations Souls. And in the current life they create similar situations, as if demanding that the Soul finally pay attention to them and release this energy.

It is impossible to live life without negative, negative emotions. But you can learn them control. Then there will be no harm to you and to others. Because throwing out your inner storm on them is also not useful)))
Controlling our emotions means that we live and manifest in this world. consciously.

Awareness of your emotions

Negative emotions often arise in a split second, once - and it is.
The very first thing to do is to note the emotion or feeling you are experiencing right now.
Realize, understand that they arose.

We basically act on the machine: we are hooked - we immediately react. And often we react to the last strength - ours or the interlocutor)). Because there is no awareness what is happening to me now?

At first, this moment has to be paid attention to. After some time of practice, this happens in a split second.
And most importantly - it does work!

For example: you are talking with someone from home - and at some point your mood changes. Your task is to track this moment in time and become aware of your emerging emotion: “But now I’m annoyed (or angry, or others).”
Being aware of your negative emotion and accepting it is half the battle!

View from the outside

Many people for a long time are in a state of depression, anger, dissatisfaction, guilt or anxiety. Most of the methods that teach you to get rid of these sensations do not get to the core of the problem.

This happens because we do not see overall picture what is happening. We are inside the situation and involved in it with our heads.

Look at the situation from the side, as viewed by an observer:
– What is going on right now?
Is this emotion mine?
Do I want to experience it now? Or am I automatically involved again?
- If it's mine - then what exactly hooked me so? What am I reacting to?

This view from the outside works wonders - the growing storm gradually subsides and the conversation continues as normal. Or your communication ends there, but without a storm.

While you are doing these simple tricks, you may miss and not hear some phrases of your interlocutor.

BUT - you will keep your inner peace, you will save your and his energy, you will not bring the matter to a conflict, with all its consequences!

A simple exercise also helps a lot to stop the inner storm.

You say to yourself mentally (or out loud):

- STOP! Relax!

Living a negative emotion

Negative emotions are not useful to suppress and repress - they need to be reside. You can live in different ways.

For example, you can hit someone when anger builds up inside; Or you can just cry in a secluded place. Since we are talking about the conscious manifestation of oneself in this world, then “hitting” is not appropriate. And crying is very useful, including for men.

There is also a simple practice for experiencing emotion.

1. Choose a place convenient for you, sit down, and it is better to lie down if possible.
2. Pay attention to your body:
   – feel where this emotion is already located or is just emerging in your body,
   - how it feels
   - how its energy moves in your body - from where and where.
3. Observe it from the outside - NOT judging and NOT judging yourself, just observe it.
4. Accept this emotion Yes, it is, I experience it.
5. Ask Higher power fill you love, or do it yourself if you already know how. In love, negative emotions are neutralized and transformed.

During this practice, awareness, Adoption their negative emotions and transformation- without harm to yourself and others.
It only takes a few minutes and you are good.

Breath

Another effective method living emotions - breath. Slow deep breaths in and out also help stop the storm.

This is where physiology comes into play. This practice also needs to be done consciously, not automatically.

1. Focus on your breathing. Watch as cool air enters through your nostrils and fills first your lungs and then your whole body.
2. Exhale - watch how a thin thread already warm air leaves your body through the nostrils. You don't have to do anything special - just watch...
3. Now remember your emotion - what is left of it now? How has your condition changed?

Take responsibility

Responsibility is one of important qualities individual who harmonizes his inner world. The Teachers from the Subtle World also speak about the importance of taking responsibility upon oneself.

What does this mean for emotions?
This means that I understand that:
He didn't hurt me, but I am (himself) offended on him…
She didn't piss me off, but I am she (himself) got angry on her...
- it was not the news that upset me and now I have depression, but I (myself) allowed respond with depression to the news ...
- not a child pissed me off with his school grades, a I (myself) got angry on a child...

This means that I do not blame other people for what happens to me.
This means that I myself am responsible for what happens in my life.

Why it happens the way it does is another matter that needs to be worked on. And again - I work with myself, and do not try to change and make other people better!

When we understand our personal responsibility, the number of unpleasant and conflict situations in our life.

For example, we stop the flow of accusations and claims against the offender. Because the offender simply does not exist. Thus, the number is reduced negative energy released by us into the world)).

And as a result, our personal space becomes cleaner and brighter. It also saves our personal energy.

We are not responsible for their emotions

We are also not responsible for other people's emotions. Often we blame ourselves for, for example, offending someone or arousing someone's resentment.

But this is not so: this is their personal reaction to our words or actions. Their emotions are their personal responsibility. Their emotions point them to the parts of their personality that they need to work with.

That is, they had a choice - for example, to be offended or not to be offended. Even when there was such a goal - to offend.
Of course, you can ALWAYS ask for forgiveness from any person when something gnaws at you. Nobody cancels this. But do not blame, condemn yourself and sprinkle ashes on your head!

Imagine how much the number of quarrels and conflicts will decrease when each of us will be personally responsible for every word, for every deed in relation to other people!

Do not look for the guilty outside, namely, bear your personal responsibility.

Negative emotions and how to deal with them big topic. And this is the theme of our entire earthly life)))

Personally, I love short practices and exercises that don't take long to complete.
In this article, I shared with you my experience and simple, effective techniques to help you get started.

And the main stages of this work: awareness, Adoption, control and transformation their emotions.

P.S. I would be glad if you share in the comments how you work with unproductive(negative) emotions!!

Mindfulness and emotional stability

It has been proven that the practice of mindfulness significantly increases emotional stability, that is, a person’s ability to withstand various blows of fate. Initially, everyone's resilience is different. In situations that scare some, whether it is the fulfillment of a work plan, the conquest of South Pole or juggling three kids, a stressful job, and paying off a mortgage, others feel like a fish out of water.

What allows these impenetrable to cope with situations from which ordinary people grab your head? Dr. Susan Kobasa of New York University was able to narrow down psychological features There are up to three characteristics of such people: control, focus and call . Another famous Israeli psychologist, Dr. Aaron Antonowski, who is involved in the sociology of medicine, also tried to identify the key psychological traits that allow some people to cope with especially stressful situations unbearable for others. He dedicated his research to Holocaust survivors and reduced his search to three features that together give sense of coherence: comprehensibility, feasibility and meaningfulness. That is, resilient people are sure that their situation has an inner meaning that they can vouch for, they can manage their lives and their current situation is understandable, in other words, it can be comprehended, even if it seems chaotic and out of control. To a large extent, all of these traits, identified by Susan Kobasa and Aaron Antonowski, determine our emotional resilience. Generally, the higher the scores for each of these dimensions, the better easier for a person cope with the vicissitudes of fate.

Jon Kabat-Zinn's team at the University of Massachusetts School of Medicine is constantly monitoring the effectiveness of an eight-week mindfulness meditation course to see if meditation can improve those scores and make you emotionally more resilient. The results were completely unambiguous. After completing the program, participants not only became happier, more energetic, and less stressed, but they also felt they had more control over their own lives. They realized that their lives are filled with great meaning, and problems should be treated as new opportunities, not threats. Other studies have only confirmed these findings. Perhaps most interesting, however, was the conclusion that these “fundamental” character traits are by no means immutable and can be improved in as little as eight weeks of mindfulness training. Such transformations should not be underestimated as they can make a huge difference in our Everyday life. While empathy, compassion, and peace of mind are essential to overall well-being, life also requires some endurance, and mindfulness training can have a huge impact on key aspects our life.

results scientific research, so painstakingly obtained in laboratories and clinics around the world, have far-reaching consequences. They change the way scientists think about consciousness and allow us to trust the experience of thousands of people who have tested the benefits of mindfulness meditation for themselves. Time and time again, we get confirmation from them that a mindful approach allows you to appreciate life much more. Many suddenly discover how amazing the smallest details become again. For this reason, one of our favorite practices has become the "chocolate meditation", which we will detail below. Your task is to savor a piece of chocolate, focusing on it all your attention. Why not try this exercise right now, before you start the eight week program? The result will amaze you.

D. Penman, M. Williams. “Awareness. How to find harmony in our crazy world

"Chocolate Meditation"

For this meditation, choose a chocolate that you have never tasted. It can be rich dark chocolate or a simple bar.

So let's get started.

Expand the wrapper. Breathe in the aroma of chocolate, completely immerse yourself in it.

Break off a piece and look at it. Carefully examine the form and outline.

Place a piece on your tongue to start melting and notice if you feel like pressing it against your palate. More than 300 different flavors are concentrated in one bar of chocolate. Try to feel at least some of them.

If you notice that you are distracted, just note what exactly, and then return to the tasting again.

When the chocolate has completely melted, swallow it slowly. Feel it flow down your esophagus.

Do the same with the next piece. What do you feel? Has something changed? Did the chocolate taste better this time than if you ate it at your normal speed?

D. Penman, M. Williams. “Awareness. How to find harmony in our crazy world

Chapter 4 The Eight-Week Program

mindful meditation

V In the following chapters of the book, you will learn how, through mindful meditation, you can learn to tame your own consciousness, become happier and enjoy life. You will follow the path that once passed by many philosophers and adepts of meditation and which, according to scientific discoveries, really helps to get rid of anxiety, overstrain, moral and physical exhaustion.

Each of the chapters you are about to read has two elements: the first is a meditation, or a series of short meditations, taking a total of 20 to 30 minutes a day; the second is techniques for getting rid of old habits. They are quite entertaining, and their task is to revive curiosity. For example, you will be asked to go to the cinema and choose any movie at random there, or, having come to a meeting, sit in a different place than where you used to sit. These actions will need to be done consciously, focusing on them as much as possible. The techniques that will be discussed may seem frivolous, but they are very effective in destroying the very habits that cause us to negative thoughts. They will help you beat the routine and push you to explore something new. Each week you will be asked to try a new trick.

V Ideally, each meditation should be done six days out of seven. If by for some reason you can't keep up with this schedule, you can simply move your current meditation to the next week. If you missed just a few meditations, you can move on to the next one. The choice is yours.

It's not important to complete the entire course in eight weeks, but it's essential to complete it if you want to get the most out of it and fully experience what mindfulness can give you.

V In each chapter, we have placed practices of the week to make it easier for you to find the information you need if you want to read the entire book, and then start the program. If you choose this method, it is best to reread the relevant chapter before the start of each week to brush up on the purpose and meaning of each practice.

V during the first four weeks of the program, the emphasis is on becoming open and attentive to the various elements of the inner and outer world.

You will also learn how to use "Three Minute Breathing Meditation", which helps to reset the brain or slow down when you feel that life is too fast. It combines the techniques that you will learn during longer practices. Many of those who have taken our mindfulness meditation course (and these are people from all over the world) say that the “three-minute breathing meditation” is the most important skill they have learned from the entire course and which helps them regain control of their lives.

The second half of the program builds on the work done during the first four weeks and teaches you to view thoughts as happening in the mind - like clouds in the sky - and also develops the ability to accept, compassion and empathize with yourself and others. Everything else is built on this state of mind.

D. Penman, M. Williams. “Awareness. How to find harmony in our crazy world

Description of the program by week

In the first week, you will see your own autopilot in action and understand what happens when you turn it off. This week the main focus will be breath and body meditation, which calms the mind and helps to track what happens in it when it is focused on something. Another, shorter meditation helps reconnect with your senses through mindful eating. And although both practices are extremely simple, they are an important foundation on which all other meditations are built.

In the second week, a simple meditation is used " body scan”, which helps to understand the differences between the actual sensation and our perception of this sensation. Many of us spend so much time in our own thoughts that we often forget to experience the world through our senses, directly. Body scanning meditation helps train the mind to focus directly on bodily sensations without evaluating or analyzing them. This allows you to trace the moment when the consciousness starts thinking, and learn to feel the difference between the thinking consciousness and the feeling consciousness.

The third week builds on the first two and includes a mindful movement practice based on yoga. These are not at all complex movements allow us to see and feel the limitations of our body and mind more clearly, as well as learn how to properly respond to situations when we reach these limitations. They help the mind continue to reconnect with the body. Gradually, you will begin to notice that your body becomes very sensitive to emotions that disturb your peace of mind when you fixate on certain goals. This allows us to understand how tense, annoyed or unhappy we can be when something does not go the way we want. This is a kind of "early warning system", very important and powerful, which allows you to stop problems before they grow.

On the fourth week you will get acquainted with the “sounds and thoughts” meditation, which helps to understand that you, unwittingly, are thinking too much about something. You will learn to view your thoughts as events happening in your mind that come and go like sounds, and nothing more. Listening to the surrounding sounds during meditation, you will understand that consciousness is for thoughts what the ear is for sounds. You will learn to see your thoughts and feelings from the outside and track how they come in the space of conscious attention. It will be easier for you to focus on specific things and situations, and you will be able to look at your workload and problems in a new way.

Meditation of the fifth week - "exploring a difficult situation" -

helps to respond without fear to similar situations that arise from time to time in life, and not to avoid them. Many problems solve themselves, but some need to be approached openly, with interest,

D. Penman, M. Williams. “Awareness. How to find harmony in our crazy world

curiosity and compassion, and if you ignore them, they will only poison your life.

In the sixth week, you will have the opportunity to develop this skill and feel how negative thought processes gradually disappear as you actively practice mercy and compassion through "friendly meditation" and acts of kindness. Making friends with ourselves, including what we consider failures and imperfections - necessary condition in order to find harmony in a crazy world.

In week seven, you will explore the close links between daily activities, activities, behaviors, and moods. When we feel stressed and out of energy, we often forgo activities that nourish us in order to find time for more “urgent” and “important” things. We are trying to clear the rubble. Therefore, in the penultimate week we will practice meditation, which helps to do right choice. This way you can do things that energize you more often and limit negative impact those activities that deplete your inner resources. This, in turn, will increase your creativity, emotional resilience, and help you enjoy life spontaneously and the way it is, not the way you want it to be. Of course, this will not relieve you of anxiety, worry and stress, but these negative emotions will dissipate faster if you learn to respond to them in a kind way.

The eighth week practice will help you integrate mindfulness into your daily activities so that you can use it when you need it most.

During each week, we specifically focus on one aspect of the awareness mode described in Chapter 3 so that you gradually and at the most profound level understand what happens when you turn off the autopilot and live in the present.

Even though each new meditation teaches a new aspect of mindfulness, in fact they are all interconnected. As we noted earlier, changing one of these parameters automatically changes the others. That is why you are offered several practices, and each of them must be performed throughout the week. They all help you achieve mindfulness in different ways, and there is no way to know for sure which one at this point in your life will best help you reconnect with the deepest and wisest side of your personality.