The first of September came, the child went to school. This is his very first call and first lesson. You are overwhelmed with pride, because he has already grown up so much and has become independent.
He's been waiting and preparing for this for so long holiday. For the first time he goes to school with such pleasure, which means that he will study well. Parents are also happy and think that they will not have to worry about their studies.
A few months or a year pass, and all the hopes of parents for a good study fail. The child does not like school activities. Often this happens during the transition to the second grade. The workload increases, teachers begin to demand more from children. After all, you need to learn large quantity material. Sometimes a child loses interest in learning after 3-4 weeks of school attendance. In some cases, problems start in the fifth or sixth grade, although before that there were no problems.
Reasons why children do not want to study
The main reason why the desire to learn disappears is often the lack of motivation. During the next scandal, your child begins to ask the question: “Why did I give up this study?”. He cannot understand why he should give so much time to uninteresting school assignments. After all, you really want to play with friends or on a computer, watch TV. Basically, this is how children behave in elementary grades.
This is due to the fact that children under 13, due to their age, do not make plans for the future. They still do not understand that they will grow up, that they will have to go to college and choose a profession. Toddlers think that their parents will constantly take care of them. It usually goes away with age. Teenagers can also lose interest in learning. This happens for one simple reason - they see how people who have higher education are living in poverty. At the same time, those who are not distinguished by high intelligence have both money and success.
Or maybe the problem is in the environment.
There is a chance that the problem may lie in your child's environment. Maybe he doesn't have much a good relationship with classmates. Children can be quite cruel towards others. Perhaps your child is teased or even beaten by those who are stronger. In our modern schools there may be a situation where high school students bully and take money from those who are younger and weaker. The victim, as a rule, does not tell any of the adults about this.
In addition to the conflict with classmates, relationships may not work out with the teacher. As a rule, in the lower grades, most subjects are taught by one teacher. The child becomes a hostage of the situation. It is located almost in constant stress. The child's psyche can also suffer from this. But it's not the school's fault. The situation in the family greatly influences the behavior of children. Maybe in this way the child simply protests against your methods of education?
One reason is fatigue.
From classes you can get tired not only physically, but also intellectually. The easiest way to restore physical strength, you just need to eat well and get enough sleep. Things are worse with intellectual or emotional fatigue. You may need to seek help from a specialist. The psychologist will be able to understand the problem and solve it.
Parents want their child to be the smartest, best student in the class and at the same time attend several circles. This can lead to emotional and mental exhaustion. It happens that children, especially girls, want to be the best, the smartest. To achieve their goal, they are constantly engaged. At first everything goes well, but at one fine moment everything changes, worsens mental condition. Memory becomes worse, the material is not remembered, concentration of attention decreases.
Children who are used to winning have a hard time enduring their inability to be first. Their overall self-esteem decreases. Parents, instead of supporting, begin to criticize. All this together mentally puts pressure on the child, he does not see the point in trying and strengthens his opinion about his mediocrity. Successful students lose all desire to learn.
The above are the most common reasons why children lose interest in learning. What can parents do? First of all, it is worth talking to your child, without criticizing him, and find out why this situation has developed. If an emotional breakdown occurs, then the only correct solution- This is a referral to a specialist. A psychologist will help you adjust your motivation. In the event that a conflict has occurred with classmates or with a teacher, simply transfer the child to another educational institution. Don't leave your child alone with a problem. Help him change his mind about the situation. Your understanding and trust will help him understand everything and try to change something.
Once upon a time, there was a father and mother, and they had three children. Parents and older children were athletic people - they all did exercises together, rode bicycles, mom and dad played tennis on weekends, the older child regularly went to the pool from the age of four, the middle one - from the age of five he was involved in the hockey section. But the youngest turned out to be completely unsportsmanlike. What only relatives did to introduce him to a healthy lifestyle ...
do as we do
In the family, it was customary in the morning, no matter what, to do exercises. As soon as the baby began to walk, the parents, by their example, tried to arouse in the child an interest in doing exercises. The eldest, and then the second baby, willingly joined their parents, at first awkwardly and ineptly imitating the movements of their relatives, and then they got used to it and began to do exercises every day, choosing exercises on their own. And every time the Unsportsmanlike child lay down on the sofa or carpet and watched his relatives with pleasure, even gave them advice, but did not want to join at all. Neither suggestions to portray funny animals to the music, nor the example of older children, nor exhortations about the benefits of exercise for health, nor the belief that one can become stronger this way, nor movies, cartoons, and fairy tales watched on the topic, helped.
Parents tried to teach an unsportsmanlike child to ride a bicycle. However, neither three-wheeled, nor four-wheeled, and even more so with two wheels, did not cause him the slightest desire to learn how to ride it. The kid screamed that he was afraid, tired, it was hard for him. All attempts to put him on a bicycle ended in a scandal: the parents got angry, the child fell down and cried.
So the boy remained an eternal passenger on the trunk of his parents' bicycles.
Let him be taught
“Since we cannot introduce him to sports ourselves,” the parents decided, “then let him physical education professionals will take care of it." And they took the youngest child to the sports section. We started with the pool, firstly, to be under the supervision of a senior, and secondly, swimming is good for both posture and for nervous system. But the Unsportsmanlike child turned out to be allergic to chlorine, after exercising in the pool he became lethargic and sleepy, and not at all cheerful, and with the onset of cold weather, he often began to catch colds.
Then the parents took the little one to the hockey section, arguing that since the middle one likes it there, then maybe the younger one will be interested. While beginners were taught to skate and practiced the basic tricks of the game with them, the Unsportsmanlike child agreed to go to classes. But as soon as team training began, the boy began to cry and refused to practice. The coach explained to the upset parents that hockey is a team game in which the player must always take into account the situation, adapt to his comrades. A Unsportsmanlike child is not able to cope with the demands, and, feeling that he is letting others down, he constantly experiences stress. And it would be better for him to try himself in another sport, individual.
After thinking a little, mom and dad decided to send the Unsportsmanlike child to the wrestling section, arguing that knowledge of techniques would be useful in life, if anything, he could stand up for himself.
But, despite the appropriate, according to the coaches, physique, the Unsportsmanlike child did not stay there either. The coach asked the parents to pick up the baby, because he constantly violated discipline: he was very bored with repeating the same exercise many times.
In general, this same kid visited several more sports sections, but not even a month passed before he was asked to stop attending classes, or he himself refused to go to them. In complete desperation, the parents turned to a child psychologist for advice.
Important!
Optimal time for sports - early morning or evening. In the morning it is better to go to class on an empty stomach, in the evening - at least an hour and a half after eating and at least two hours before bedtime.
Do not let the child go to the section if he even has a slight fever or other signs of an inflammatory process.
On a note: child with chronic diseases should not be given in the section:
Boxing
-Rugby
-American football
-Karate
Where do unsportsmanlike children come from?
In the last ten years, the idea of a healthy lifestyle has so captured the minds and hearts of people that it has even become somehow indecent not to engage in any kind of sport for your own recovery. And modern parents tend to involve their children in sports as early as possible. For example, for newborns there are not only special exercises, but also a program of developing activities in the pool, and for older children a whole range of sports activities are offered. But what if he responds with resistance to all attempts to introduce a child to sports?
I often hear complaints from adults about the unwillingness of children to play sports. Most of all, because of the unsportsmanlike nature of the child, the parents of boys are worried. It is believed that a boy should definitely go in for sports - this affects the formation of masculinity, masculine personality traits. But what's wrong with the fact that the boy gravitates towards calm activities that require reflection and silence? By themselves, playing sports will not make children more responsible and reliable.
Parents also worry that the child loses interest in classes as soon as something ceases to work out for him or it turns out that efforts must be made to achieve a result. On the one hand, I understand the anxiety of mothers and fathers: after all, if a child already at this age succumbs to difficulties and does not strive to succeed, then what to expect from him next. On the other hand, you can understand the child. In preschool and primary school age, even without playing sports, children are faced with many “difficult” tasks: schooling (and for many, study begins much earlier - from 3-4 years old), acquiring communication skills with peers, adds complexity and growing body. Therefore, often playing sports is perceived by the child as another unpleasant duty.
For many children, sport is important as an opportunity to get rid of accumulated energy, to give vent to emotions, and only for some it is a way to assert themselves by achieving some kind of success. It often happens that the types of sports offered by parents do not correspond to the interests or temperament of the child. Conventionally, several types of unsportsmanlike children can be distinguished.
Parents send their children to sports sections in order to:
They grew up strong, strong, healthy;
-was where to throw out excess energy;
- able to set goals and achieve them;
- develop will and endurance;
- learned to overcome fear;
-learned how to communicate in a new team;
- met the expectations of parents;
-acquire a high-paying profession in the future.
Fidget.
He wants quick results and constant change of activity. This child is not suitable for sports that require hard and long training, such as gymnastics or figure skating. Such a baby is suitable for activities that allow you to be in constant motion, for example, a bicycle, some team games. If the child is successful in his studies, then he is captured by the spirit of competition, there is excitement and a desire to achieve more.
Charging for a little fidget should consist of many non-repetitive movements, for example: jumped up, rolled over, climbed the ladder, hung on the rings, jumped, sat down, stretched - and all this to cheerful music.
contemplator.
If a child is thoughtful and calm from birth, he is not interested in running somewhere or achieving something. Thinking, he misses balls while playing volleyball, and crashes into a tree with his bicycle, staring at something interesting. He likes to observe and reflect, so it is best for him to take up tourism, such as kayaking. Most importantly, do not allow the contemplative to sit for hours, hunched over, at a computer or with a book in a stuffy room - you can read on fresh air. And as a warm-up, traditional seasonal activities, such as swimming in a river in summer or skiing in winter, are well suited. This does not interfere with thinking, and is a good physical activity.
Nonconformist.
This child is stubborn and self-willed, does not like to obey the demands of others, refuses to do "like everyone else." Even if he is attracted to the proposed sport, he may refuse it if his parents insist on taking classes. He wants to stand out and excel. He is best suited for some extraordinary sport - fencing, horses, orienteering or activities that include physical training: martial arts, a circus studio, sports dancing. It is advisable to simply let such a child know about the opportunity to work out in one section or another, and not bring him by the hand and not insist on classes.
Jonah. If the child is used to the fact that he does not succeed, if he low self-esteem And high degree self-doubt, then he will give in to any difficulty and, fearing another failure, will not even want to try to do something. But if the loser feels successful, then he will study with pleasure and strive to achieve more. Choosing classes for him, you should first of all focus on the personality of the teacher and the atmosphere in the team. Relations between children should be friendly, not competitive, and the teacher should not be too demanding, able to support his wards. Better for a loser individual views sports than team sports, so that there is no fear of letting others down. And at first it is better to avoid competitions and praise the child for the slightest achievements and even their absence.
Buy a sports complex for your child: it develops dexterity and allows you to independently manage your skills. And the kid is happy to demonstrate his achievements to all relatives and friends who can come;
WITH early age Encourage your child's outdoor play. Play tag with him, snowball fights;
When teaching a child to ski, skate, rollerblade, bike, and so on, be friendly, forgiving, and not too pushy. Don't expect from a child great success, praise him as often as possible;
Encourage your child's seasonal activities (swimming and cycling in summer, skiing and sledding and ice skating in winter). Ride and swim with your baby, it's more fun and safer, and during the game it's easier to teach your child;
When choosing a sports section for a child, you should always take into account the talent and interest of the baby, and not give free rein to your vanity. A small person will benefit only from those activities that give him pleasure.
If the child does not want to play sports
As practice shows, you can always choose activities for your child that will allow you to maintain good physical shape and improve health. You can do this without hurting yourself or your child. The main thing is to decide for yourself whether you want the baby to be just healthy and strong, or you want to make him a professional athlete. In the second case, one must be very careful in choosing the type of sport and place of study.
Many children themselves sooner or later come to the idea of the need for sports, if they are not discouraged from any interest in sports in early childhood.
For example, one unsportsmanlike boy in the fourth grade wanted to play volleyball with his friends, and he enrolled in the section at the school. And another girl only in the ninth grade, thanks to a new teacher, became interested in tourism and not only made new friends, but also got rid of the annual exhausting colds. And another sickly and unsportsmanlike boy was so harassed by his peers in the yard that at the age of 10 he himself found and enrolled in the boxing section.
There is nothing wrong with the fact that the child will not play sports at all. If he does not have sports interests, it is enough that he will lead an active lifestyle, for example, walk a lot, and walk, and do physical education at school.
One day, returning from another unsuccessful training session, an unsportsmanlike child told his mother: “Now, if I myself decided what to do, I would go dancing ...” And at the age of six, this unsportsmanlike kid began to enjoy ballroom dancing, where he and I had to follow the posture, and do exercises and warm-up, and participate in competitions-competitions. But the main thing is that he really, really liked it. And sports parents stopped worrying and began to be proud of their unsportsmanlike child.
Author: Kravtsova Marina, child psychologist.
Graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University.
Author of books: “If a child tells a lie”, “If a child takes other people's things”, “If a child fights”, “If a child does not like to read” - Eksmo publishing house, “Outcast children. Psychological work with the problem” Publishing house “Genesis”.
A child who happily goes to school sits down at the table without prompting. homework, active in the classroom, studying with interest - the dream of all parents. But, as you know, if elementary grades almost all children go willingly, then in secondary school the desire to learn from the majority disappears.
What are the reasons for the decline in interest in learning and what can parents do to help their child avoid disappointment in the learning process?
Mini study
Second grade students were asked to answer the question: “Which lessons do you like and which do not, and why?” The guys listed a variety of school subjects, favorites and least favorites.
Here is how the students explained their attitude:
Reasons why you like lessons:
- "I'm interested"
- "I want to be smart, literate"
- "I want to know a lot"
- "I love the teachers who teach these lessons"
- “When something turns out in this lesson, joy appears”
Reasons for not liking the lessons:
- "Boring"
- "Give bad marks"
- "I'm getting tired"
- "Nothing works"
- “I don’t like the teacher who teaches this lesson”
This mini-study shows that the main motivating forces in the learning process for a child are interest in what is being studied, their own success in the lesson and a good relationship with the teacher.
About success
In psychology, there is a concept of "learned failure". This is the name of the state when a person believes in advance that he will not succeed and therefore does not even try to solve a difficult problem, does not begin to learn something new. Others have the impression that the child is lazy, just does not want to even try. However, it is adults, and primarily parents, who are to blame for the fact that the child’s hands dropped and he stopped believing in own forces. After all, all his achievements are devalued by excessive demands from his parents.
Parents who expect too much from their child begin a conversation with a psychologist with the words: “Everyone in our family studied well, graduated from school with a gold medal, and has a red diploma. They were always excellent students, etc. They sincerely do not understand how it is possible to study for fours, and even threes are perceived as evidence of laziness or a complete lack of abilities in a child.
Some parents, although they consider their children capable, pay more attention to the mistakes and failures of the child than to his successes, hoping thereby to encourage him to try even harder. However, the constant emphasis on shortcomings brings great harm - the student comes to the conclusion that, despite all his efforts, he is unable to meet the expectations of his parents. The child ceases to believe in himself, loses interest in any intellectual or creative activity.
It happens that parents deliberately underestimate the achievements of very capable children so that they do not become proud. Because of this, the child does not enjoy his successes, he constantly strives to achieve more in order to finally deserve the encouragement of his relatives.
Even when they become adults and independent, such people always strive to prove their competence and significance to someone.
What to do?
Avoid talking about how everyone in the family was an A and that the only acceptable grade was an A. It is necessary to show the child that you are happy with even small, from your point of view, successes.
You can not tell the child that you gave up on him if he did not live up to your expectations, for example, in the field of mathematics. Perhaps his vocation is the humanities?
You should not intimidate children with the need to study, so as not to become a homeless person, a janitor, etc. In adolescence, such notations often lead to the opposite result - a child who is desperate to achieve something or conform to the ideas of adults, who has lost interest in the educational process, begins defiantly declaring that he dreams of becoming a janitor so that everyone will leave him alone.
So, once a thirteen-year-old boy, when asked who he wants to be, replied that as soon as he graduated from school, he would become a soldier. His relatives threatened him all the time that if he studied like that, nothing good would come of him, they scolded him, considered him a loser. The teenager decided to become a soldier, because there is no need to strive for anything, and still he doesn’t know how to do anything. In addition, this way he will be able to get rid of constant accusations and lectures from loved ones.
Do not discount the child's achievements by evaluating his work. For example, you should not say: “It's still good that your teacher gave you a B. I wouldn’t put it higher than the “troika” for such an essay. ”
About interest
Many parents worry that their children are not very interested in learning, they work "under duress", they are lazy. You can often hear from adults that the child is not only indifferent to learning, he is not interested in anything at all. And then in a conversation with a psychologist, the following words sound like: “Yes, he is not interested in anything! No matter what we offered him, he doesn't want to do anything! What will happen to him next? In response to this, I would like to object no less emotionally: “It cannot be that the child is not at all interested in anything!”
Parents should think: are they offering the child something that interests them, but not him? Perhaps, in his refusal of the proposed classes, the desire to show independence is expressed? Or does the child fail to succeed in the proposed activities because he does not have an inclination for them, and you make too high demands, and he is afraid of not justifying them?
By the eighth grade, the boy had completely ceased to be interested in studying, although in primary school was one of the most capable and beloved students of all teachers. In high school, he gradually slipped into triples, often did not do his homework, and clashed with teachers. Immediately after a heart-to-heart talk with class teacher he took up his mind, quickly made up for lost time, achieved success, but after a while he again broke down.
It turned out that his parents explained to him that he should teach mathematics and foreign language to enter prestigious university, become a lawyer or an economist, earn good money and go to work abroad. But the boy was interested in the humanities, he successfully played in a theater studio, went to modeling classes, and from the first grade dreamed of seriously playing football.
Talking with a psychologist about his professional future, he said just that: “You need to enter a mathematical class,” and longing and doom could be heard in his voice. But how his tone changed when he talked about his successes in modeling, theater or football! However, he refused to consider any of these hobbies as his own. future profession asking “adult” questions: “What will I work with? How much will I get? Naturally, his parents did not take his hobbies seriously.
The contradiction between the boy's inclinations and the instilled attitude towards " proper education”caused him mental discomfort, and this tension resulted in conflicts with teachers and classmates, unwillingness to learn.
Lack of interest in learning, that is, boredom, naturally leads to the appearance of laziness - a universal defender against useless (according to the child) activity. In adolescence, this problem becomes the most relevant, as the main interests of the cognitive sphere move to the sphere of communication. And then study turns into a boring and boring duty.
Children do not understand why they might need most of the school subjects, and to study well and be the “favorite” of teachers means losing prestige in the eyes of their peers. Parents cannot force teenagers not only to sit down for lessons, but also to perform basic household chores - wash the dishes, go to the store or work at home. garden plot. All this seems to them dreary, monotonous and takes them away from the opportunity to spend time at their own discretion.
What to do?
Watch the child (this applies to younger children school age): what he willingly plays, how he likes to spend his free time, what he talks about with interest. Once you figure out which area of knowledge your child is most interested in, help him put that interest into practice. You can arrange with the teacher to give the task to the student to prepare a report or make a newspaper on a topic of interest to him. The child will believe in himself and want to develop further if he feels competent. An indisputable fact: what is interesting is what is obtained, and what is best obtained is what is interesting.
Find out from the student what exactly he is studying at the moment in a particular subject. Ask, admit that you do not know something or do not remember well. Let him explain to you. Some children will brush off such questions and say they don't remember or don't want to discuss. It's not worth insisting. You can provoke a discussion of some educational topics by watching a film about animals or a play in general, you can “slip” a textbook on entertaining physics or chemistry.
Teach your child to maintain tone, that is, the working condition of the body. Laziness takes on the most catastrophic character in those cases when a person gets tired physically or mentally. Every weekend should be filled with real rest, and not shock work in the country or repairs. In any difficult and boring business, teach your child to find something pleasant or take breaks to, for example, drink a glass of juice, play with a dog, or read a favorite book. Cancel nightly vigils in front of the TV or at the computer (this rule, like everyone else, should be common to the whole family).
Discuss with the children how different areas of knowledge intersect. For example, how knowledge of geography can be useful in the lessons of history and literature.
Do not reproach the child for not doing anything, "but you at his age ...". Such conversations can only cause a reaction of protest, and not prompt them to urgently do something or become interested. A teenager, at best, will chuckle to himself and think: “Well, what have you achieved?” By the way, in “your” years, the opportunities and requirements were completely different, the world has changed and continues to change.
Ask the child what, from his point of view, “willpower” is and does he have it? Can he force himself to do a task that is not very interesting? Does he know how to focus on the lesson by an effort of will or does not even try? Explain to the student that it is necessary to develop not abstract willpower, but quite specific, related to some intention - to get "excellent" in the mathematics exam, to learn English language and so on.
Together with your child, create a plan for exactly what steps to take. Help keep you on track.
About relationships
Often a child fails to succeed because of a bad relationship with the teacher. In this case, the first grader is offended and complains to his relatives: “Maria Ivanovna has never once praised me in front of the whole class,” and the teenager stops preparing lessons and starts skipping.
One tenth-grader skipped physics lessons, explaining her dislike for the subject by the fact that the teacher, who has been teaching them for the second year, never addressed her by name (although she called other students by name). The attitude to the subject, which was given to the girl with difficulty, changed dramatically after the teacher began to address her by name.
It is important for adults to take into account that difficulties in relationships with teachers can arise both through the fault of the teacher and the fault of the student himself. Parents often say that the teacher finds fault or dislikes their child, without thinking that perhaps the student does not fulfill the elementary requirements of the teacher, ignores the general rules of behavior in the classroom, etc.
What to do?
We must try to understand what are the reasons for the child's dislike for this subject. One way or another, the student will make it clear that he does not have a relationship with the teacher. You can also ask about this, but not directly, but simply ask who and how teaches this or that subject.
Parents can come to the teacher for advice. You can’t start a conversation with accusations and questions like: “Why are you poisoning my child?” Ask the teacher what claims the student has. A teacher may treat a student who is constantly not ready for the lesson badly. Make sure your child has everything they need for this lesson. If the teacher sees that his subject is considered important, they try, then he will change his opinion about the student.
Adults should not divide school subjects into important and unimportant, as the child will begin to think so. Because of this, his relationship with teachers can deteriorate.
In a difficult situation, you should seek the help of a psychologist.
In no case should you frighten the child with the upcoming study and the difficulties of this study. It is not necessary to say that you always had only fives and everything always worked out right away (think about it, is this really true?).
Do not try to replace the teacher by demanding more from the child than he was given (for example, write not one line in the copybook, but a whole page; rewrite homework many times until it is done perfectly).
Expectations must be based on real opportunities child. Do not demand long tension from a quickly tiring, restless schoolboy. Consult with a psychologist about the daily routine for your child.
Show interest in learning activities child, for example, look for the right books or information on the Internet. But do it not instead of the child, but together with him. Once and for all, give up the habit of writing essays, essays, etc. for the student.
Don't be more afraid of bad grades than your child is. In addition, you should not force him to do everything perfectly at all costs. It is good for a child to get what he deserves.
The first disappointment is often due to unfulfilled expectations. Parents rarely talk with their children about how the school works, how to behave with a teacher, they don’t explain whether it’s possible to go to the toilet or chat with a friend during the lesson if it suddenly becomes boring ... “Try to show the child where he will study in advance, - advises child psychologist Elena Morozova. - And play with him "to school", "to the teacher" (even after he goes to first grade). This will help him get used to new life and his expectations will become more realistic.” “It is difficult to study with pleasure even when parents constantly criticize the school at home, when they themselves do not like the teacher,” adds family psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya. - The child feels that his mother leaves him at school with a troubled heart. The reaction of adults means one thing for him - the school is not safe. And he gets scared, feels defenseless and spends a lot of energy trying to cope with his fears. He just doesn’t have the energy to study.” "Help junior schoolchildren to study means to be near, to respond and support, - Elena Morozova continues. “To be involved in the life of a son or daughter, to be an adult for real.”
Develop curiosity
The child needs us, but at the same time he should not be dependent on us. It is in the first grade that he begins to seriously learn independence. But there are situations with which he himself can not yet cope. It's boring to learn letters when you already know how to read. It is difficult to force yourself to write endless rows of squiggles and memorize the rules. Interest in learning and the need to learn are gradually fading away. “Of course, it is worth explaining to the child that this is only the beginning and then the tasks will be more complex and more interesting,” says psychologist Tamara Gordeeva. “And yet, let’s face it, the school routine is really boring.” It is the parents who have to “take the child by the hand” and discover new things for him. “Look with him at the clouds and tell him about the planets, walk through the forest, smelling it and listening to the sounds,” suggests Elena Morozova. “The many discoveries, the pleasure that the child will certainly feel at such moments, will allow him to maintain a joyful curiosity for the world, the desire to explore, experiment and observe.” Real interest is always connected with vivid impressions, and not with pressure and coaching, which gradually cause disgust for learning.
Notice achievements
Everyone wants to be successful. But repeated failures give rise to a sense of helplessness, children stop trying and lose faith in themselves. “In this case, try to restrain yourself and not point out to the child his every mistake, and at the same time saying “how it should be,” Elena Morozova advises. - The best thing parents can do is to teach the child to compare himself not with others, but with himself. Praise him for the fact that he used to make 25 mistakes in dictation, and now only 22. Notice even the smallest achievements. Studying, especially in the lower grades, is impossible without constant "refueling" positive emotions. It is important for every boy and girl to experience the feeling of victory - in school, creativity or sports. But at this age, children quickly forget about their small successes. Sometimes, in order to feel stronger, it is enough for a child to say to himself: “Let me count slowly, but write carefully.” For those who doubt their abilities, this feeling - "I can" - helps to break the vicious circle of failure. “Therefore, it is so important that in those subjects where the child feels at least a little interest, parents often remind him of his successes,” Elena Morozova clarifies.
Eight year olds learn differently
Younger students do not perceive criticism, their brain reacts only to praise. Dutch scientists studied the brain activity of schoolchildren using MRI*. And they found that the activity of the zones responsible for understanding did not change in 8-9-year-old children when their work was criticized (for example: “This answer is wrong”). At this age, children are not yet able to learn from their mistakes.
And only from the age of 12-13 do teenagers react emotionally to messages about their mistakes and failures and can benefit from their negative experience.
* The Journal of Neuroscience, 2008, No. 28 (38).
Your child has lost interest in learning if…
…for more than three weeks he has had at least half of the following problems.
- He says that the teacher does not like him or does not like him.
- Refuses help, even when it is needed.
- Before leaving for school, his stomach hurts, he forgets his things.
- He is unhappy with his grades.
- He is sure that he will not succeed, and wants to be reassured and praised.
- He quickly forgets even those lessons that he has learned by heart.
- Doesn't talk about school.
- He says that the teacher (nitsa) shouts too often.
- Missing first grade kindergarten, in the fourth - is afraid of the transition to the fifth.
- Complains that he has no friends among his classmates.