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Exists different models psychological counseling, various theoretical approaches, they have the most different ways conducting an initial consultation. Here, formulated in the form of simple principles, a generalized version of the initial consultation with the client will be presented, a kind of algorithm that can be used regardless of the theoretical preferences of the consultant.

The first meeting with a client always includes a number of tasks. The three main, closely interconnected tasks of the primary consultation include interpersonal, diagnostic and therapeutic.

Interpersonally, the task of the consultant is to establish a relationship with the client. The client first of all needs a sincere and natural in its manifestations desire of the consultant to get in touch with him. The most important condition the emergence of psychological contact between the client and the consultant is the quality of presence, that is, the ability of the consultant to non-verbally express involvement in the conversation. Because being congruent and natural is the exact opposite of showing a façade, this counselor behavior serves as a model for calling the client to open and spontaneous self-presentation. Along with this, nothing contributes to the client's self-disclosure more than the unconditional positive attitude and empathy of the consultant. Unconditional positive attitude implies non-judgmental acceptance of the client's life experience, as well as the manifestation of warmth and care. Empathy, on the other hand, provides the client with a unique experience of emotional resonance and shared knowledge of how they experience their life situation.

Diagnostically, the consultant's task is to identify the client's problems and working hypotheses about their nature. I am of the opinion that, regardless of education and theoretical orientation, a counselor cannot avoid the need to formulate hypotheses about the client's problems and make decisions about what needs to be done to improve the client's condition. In other words, in order to behave therapeutically, the consultant must first become a diagnostician. Diagnostic evaluation, in my opinion, can be usefully viewed as an ongoing inference process that expands current knowledge about the client. This process starts already during the initial consultation, but it ends only with the end of the consultative relationship. Based on observing the behavior of the client, tracking and comprehending their own subjective impressions of interaction with him, as well as analyzing the content of the stories he told, the consultant begins to build a working model inner world client and a suitable therapeutic strategy for this case.

Finally, the therapeutic goal of counseling is to create in the counseling situation special conditions, thanks to which the client gets the opportunity to solve their psychological problems. The therapeutic goal of the initial consultation is the demonstration by the consultant of a therapeutic position - a direct response to the urgent needs of the client. Even when it is not obvious at first glance, it is worth remembering that very often a client seeks psychological help in a state of crisis. Repeated attempts by the client to solve this or that problem on their own life problem failed, which led him to seek psychological help. The client comes with hope, but in this very uncertain situation for him, he also experiences great anxiety. He passionately hopes for help in meeting his urgent needs, but at the same time he fears that their open presentation will only lead to frustration and a repetition of such a familiar experience of pain and hopelessness. Feelings of hope and fear affect the behavior of the client: he simultaneously reveals and hides his needs, and both can occur both on a conscious and unconscious level. The counselor's task is to demonstrate a readiness to respond emotionally to the client's psychological needs and to be sympathetic to manifestations of resistance to their expression.

Start of consultation

introduce yourself
Tell me about the time you have
Use encouragement, both verbal and non-verbal
Use open questions
Use active listening, repetition and clarification
Note and summarize customer complaints
Plan the degree of control and activity

Mid consultation

Use direct control
Represent each new topic
Start each topic with open questions
Use closed questions at the end of the topic
Sum if direction is lost
Pay attention to new information

Avoid Jargon

Use exploratory interpretation to express hypotheses
If client messages contain contradictions, use confrontation
To stimulate the expression of emotions, use
reflection of feelings and feedback

Completion of the consultation

Summarize the content of the conversation
Demonstrate a willingness to hear about a pressing need
Ask if the event met the client's expectations
Give information or professional advice
Discuss the next step

Start of consultation

The way in which the first meeting can be started depends on the circumstances and condition of the client. In any case, at the beginning, if possible, it is worth communicating the purpose of the meeting, as well as the time that it may take. After that, you can ask the first question. To engage the client in talking about yourself, start with open-ended questions that cannot be answered with yes or no, such as: Why did you decide to see a psychologist? or "Where would you like to start?" If the answer to the original question is not detailed enough, the following open-ended question can be formulated: "Could you tell me more about it?"

A good means of establishing contact with a client is encouragement. Rewards - both non-verbal (nods, friendly and interested facial expressions, etc.) and verbal (phrases like "Yes", "I'm listening", "Tell me more about it") may sound trite, but when used appropriately in the context of a conversation, they stimulate the client's speech and encourage self-disclosure.

The initial phase of the consultation is the time of actively inviting the client to talk about the reasons that brought him to the consultation, but this does not mean that in case of pauses, the consultant should immediately fill them out. Long pauses are really undesirable, as they can cause anxiety and irritation. During short pauses, the client usually feels that you are thinking about his problem, and often he himself adds new significant information. During these natural breaks, it's helpful to summarize what you've already learned to help you take a meaningful next step.

Listening attentively to the client's presentation of his problems and understanding their subjective picture, that is, how the client perceives and explains the problem, is one of the main tasks. initial stage consultations. You will help the client to state his point of view if, through repetition and clarification of the meaning and emotional messages, you consistently demonstrate your intention to understand them as accurately and fully as possible. Repetition of the essence of what was said by customers or only keywords his utterance encourages the client to uncover deeper levels of the problem and often leads to the expression of new complaints and dimensions of the problem. Each new complaint or dimension of the problem should be given special attention by the consultant. The willingness to consider new information creates the prerequisite that the real reason for asking for help - the client's pressing needs - will not be missed. By noting, clarifying, and linking complaints and details of the problem, the client and counselor work together towards a more generalized formulation of the problem that incorporates everything that has been said before. From time to time it can be very useful to check your understanding by formulating what the client said in his own words and giving him the opportunity to correct your perception.

At the end of the initial phase of the conversation, make sure you are aware of the client's main complaints and ask : "Is there anything else that's bothering you?" After that, it is useful to summarize the complaints, that is, briefly list them, as well as the ideas and feelings that accompany them. The summation function at this stage consists in summarizing the client's complaints and his vision of the current situation.

Closely related to the summation technique is the problem of recording during a session. Writing down customer complaints, key words, and main themes, i.e. short notes, can be very helpful and many people successfully use them in their work while remaining involved in the contact. However, this does not work for everyone. A careful recording, which, of course, could be very useful for subsequent reflection on the material, is unlikely to contribute to establishing contact with the client - the main task of the initial consultation. It is unlikely that there will be trust in a consultant who pays more attention to his notebook than to a client. So, perhaps, you should either take short notes or stop taking notes altogether, at least during the first meeting. If something very important comes up that you would never want to forget, you can interrupt the client and say: "Do you mind if I write down these details? They are important and I wouldn't want to miss them." When you've finished writing, put your pen and notebook down and non-verbally demonstrate that you're ready to reconnect.

At the initial stage of the conversation, the appropriate level of activity should also be determined. In the first minutes of the conversation, after information structuring the situation and an open question about the reasons for the appeal, it can be useful for a consultant to take a passive position for a while. When the client is speaking, listen and plan for the counseling strategy, in particular regarding the degree of control over the conversation process. So, for example, with a chatty or distracted client, you should be more active so that the consultation time is not eaten up by insignificant details. Conversely, with a client who consistently presents the problem, enriching it with more and more new dimensions, control from the consultant may be minimal. Here, active listening and occasional, deepening remarks from the consultant will be most appropriate. However, in this situation, do not forget about the limitation of the time that you can devote to the study of certain topics.

Mid consultation

The main task of this stage is to formulate hypotheses about the nature of the client's problems and test them by collecting additional information and applying appropriate trial interventions. If you receive necessary information keep control to a minimum. If the client's story has little content, then it makes sense to take a more active position. Don't be afraid to exercise control. The client reacts normally when interrupted politely. Sometimes the client slips into unimportant topics or expounds unimportant details in too much detail. Although sometimes such insignificant topics can lead to significant experiences for the client, more often they only eat up the very limited time of the first meeting.

Control over the course of the conversation is a manifestation of the responsibility of the consultant. Just listening, even the most sensitive, is not enough in most cases. Being active in limiting the content of the client's speech and keeping the focus on certain complaints, topics, specific life situations allows the consultant to formulate and test initial hypotheses regarding the nature of the client's problems, thereby maximum benefit use the potential for their solution.

When you're on a particular line of research and important but unrelated information comes up, make a mental note of it and make sure you've completed the current topic before moving on to it. You can jump to a new topic using the following construction: "When you were talking about.... You mentioned about.... could you talk more about that."

Example

Consultant: When you talked about your feelings for your husband, you mentioned your father's death. And this, I think, is very important for you. Could you tell more about it.

Before delving into a new topic, it is important to complete the previous line of research. Passion for a new topic is a common mistake, which sometimes leads to a confused and superficial understanding of the client's problems.

In a situation where the client abruptly transitions to a new topic, a direct manifestation of control on the part of the consultant may look, for example, as follows: "I understand that this is important to you, but could you go back to what you said earlier about your problems at work and talk about them?"

Introduce new topics to the client so that he understands where the conversation is going.

Example

Consultant: You mentioned quarrels with your mother. Therefore, I would now like to turn to a discussion of your family and the problems that are associated with it. We could probably start with your mother.-could you tell me more about her?

Explore each new topic with the client: start with open-ended questions, then use clarification, reflection of feelings, confrontation, interpretation and other techniques if necessary. The use of techniques in the first session is in the nature of a trial intervention. The way the client responds to the counselor's trial interventions tells us how ready he is to use the therapeutic potential of counseling, that is, the means that the counselor has to offer him. As R. Sherman and N. Fredman accurately note, "each specific technique can be simultaneously considered as a psychodiagnostic test" (cited in Navaitis, 1999). How a client responds to trial interventions reflects their level of openness-closedness, ability to get in touch with their feelings, ability to use a different point of view to understand their problems, and the like. important factors when assessing the appropriateness of a particular type psychological help.

Avoid jargon and clarify words and phrases that you don't understand and that may mean one thing to you and another to the client. Diagnostic and psychological "labels" should always be clarified. For example, if a client mentions depression, the counselor might say: "You said you were depressed. Could you describe in more detail exactly how you felt?"

When showing emotions, it is appropriate to show support and empathy, stimulating their expression. For instance, "Apparently it made you very upset then" or "This decision seemed to be very difficult for you". Such statements communicate to the client that, unlike most people, you are able to talk about their feelings. Make sure you are showing empathy, not sympathy. "I see how hard it is for you to talk about it" is empathy. And "Oh my God, how unlucky you are" or "I don't know how I would have coped with this situation myself"- it's sympathy. The problem with sympathy is that it expresses the counselor's condescending stance and assumes the client's humble role. Sympathy is often perceived by the client as a manifestation of pity. Therefore, if the client mentions pity, you should investigate whether you have switched from empathy to sympathy. Empathy is a manifestation of the participation of one human being to another and the recognition of his feelings, and not just an automatic reaction of sympathy and regret.

Speaking in the language of therapeutic interventions, then techniques such as reflecting feelings are best suited for expressing emotions. (“There is frustration in your voice. You felt like you had overcome all these problems, and suddenly you feel guilt and confusion.”), Feedback ("There were tears in your eyes") and questions (Could you say more about what makes you angry?").

Completion of the consultation

The stage of completing the conversation includes a number of tasks, namely summing up the results of the consultation, discussing the next step in solving the problem situation, and, if necessary, clarifying and correcting the client's expectations. The client's impression of the first meeting with the consultant is of decisive importance for his decision to continue the consulting relationship. A hasty, "blurred" end of the conversation can ruin an overall successful consultation, so time should be specially allocated for the end of the consultation.

In addition, some time is also necessary for the completion of the process of experience. If in the course of the client's story appears important material and the expression of feelings associated with it occurs, the goal of the final phase of the consultation is to alleviate the emotional reaction and its completion by the end of the conversation.

It can be extremely helpful to set aside at least ten minutes for a debriefing session - a concise and accurate summary of the content of the conversation and the expression of the understanding of the client's main problem jointly achieved during the session. From the summation, this or that question often follows or the need to clarify something, both on the part of the consultant and the client. After summarizing the problems, it can be helpful to ask the client: "What do you think is your main problem that you would like to work on?" Such a question stimulates the client's motivation and precedes the agreement on the further action plan in general and the agreement on the next meeting in particular.

As is known from psychotherapeutic practice, clients often talk about the most important things at the end of sessions, so it can be useful to ask: " Have we missed anything important, is there anything else you would like to add? This issue can sometimes lead to the emergence of completely new important information, the detailed consideration of which may be the task of the next session. In addition, this question is also a demonstration of your willingness to find out the client's urgent need - the real reason for the request, which, perhaps, he has not yet dared to say directly.

One of the goals of the final stage of the consultation is to determine whether the client's expectations for help are met, and real experience consultations. "How do you feel about coming here today?" or " To what extent did what happened meet your expectations? ... What exactly?"- these are the questions that allow you to discover the expectations of the client and discuss possible disappointments. Asking such a question sometimes requires a certain amount of courage on the part of the counselor, as discussing expectations is often a difficult conversation about what the client didn't get. But it is also a potential opportunity for correcting unrealistic expectations from a one-time meeting, and therefore for the subsequent implementation of a realistic action plan that will help the client in solving his problems.

The final phase of the conversation is also the time to provide the client with relevant information and professional advice. There are problems that have multiple dimensions (for example, a problem in intimate relationships may be associated with a violation of both psychological and sexual relations), or even go beyond the competence of the consultant. Therefore, in addition to (or instead of) psychological help, the client may need professional help another specialist: a psychiatrist, lawyer, sexologist, etc. or one or another service, for example, an anonymous alcoholics group or a suicide center. Informing the client about the options available to him and working out his fears about contacting a particular specialist is another task of the final phase of the first consultation.

In conclusion, it can be added that the time to write down the content of the consultation (main themes, historical facts, hypotheses, difficulties, etc.) comes immediately after the consultation. And although it can be very difficult to focus your attention and write down the content of the conversation immediately after it, if this is not done, important information may be irretrievably lost.

In general, the initial consultation should be carried out in a manner that provides the client with a basis for deciding whether he is ready for a course of counseling or psychotherapy and accepting the responsibility that is inevitably associated with the implementation of this plan.

Literature:

• Navaitis G. (1999) Family in psychological counseling. - M: NPO "MODEK".

Stages of psychological counseling

Psychological counseling usually consists of several meetings, separate conversations. In general, psychological counseling as a process is divided into four stages: 1. Acquaintance with a client and start a conversation. 2. questioning client, formation and verification of advisory hypotheses. 3. Rendering impact. 4. Completion psychological consultation.

1. Getting to know the client and starting a conversation

1a. First contact. You can stand up to meet the client or meet him at the door of the office, a demonstration of goodwill and interest in fruitful cooperation. 1b. Encouragement. It is advisable to encourage the client with words like: "Come in, please", "Sit down comfortably", etc. 1c. A small pause. After the first minutes of contact with the client, it is recommended to give him a pause of 45 - 60 seconds so that the client can collect his thoughts and look around. 1g Actually acquaintance. You can say to the client: "Let's get acquainted. How can I contact you?" After that, you need to introduce yourself. 1d. Formalities. Prior to the start of the actual counseling, the counseling psychologist is obliged to provide the client with as much information as possible about the counseling process, its important features: - the main goals of the counseling, - the qualifications of the counselor, - the payment for the counseling, - the approximate duration of the counseling, - the advisability of counseling in this situation, - the risk of temporary deterioration the state of the client in the process of counseling, - the boundaries of confidentiality, incl. issues of audio and video recording, the presence (observation) of the process of third parties. You should speak briefly, without pouring unnecessary information on the client. The result here is the client's final decision to enter the counseling process. 1e. "Here and now". It is necessary to agree with the client, set him up to work in the "here and now" mode. It is important to make it clear to the client that the psychologist-consultant cannot be used as a tool in all sorts of intrigues. 1zh. Primary inquiry. An example of a standard phrase: "What brought you to me?", "So, what questions would you like to discuss with me?". If the client is not a "professional frequenter" of psychological offices, then, most likely, he will need support from the very first phrases of his own. At the very least, he will be interested in the question: is he speaking correctly, about that? Therefore, if necessary, from the very first minutes of the questioning, it is necessary to maintain a dialogue.

2. Questioning the client, forming hypotheses

2a. Empathic listening. It is also active listening (repetition of individual words for the client, interpretations). 2b. Acceptance of the client's situation model as temporary. The consultant should not yet enter into disputes with the client, all the more so to expose him, to catch him on contradictions. Breaking the model of the client's situation is possible only after this model has been studied in detail. 2c. Structuring the conversation. A rare client is able to logically and consistently describe a problem situation. Gradually, he must be encouraged to a more rational presentation, reasoning. The consultant himself must be consistent. Each new phrase, question should be logically connected with the previous ones. Periodic summaries are very useful for structuring the conversation. The dialogue with the client is not a chapter book; therefore, you can make it a habit to summarize what has been said every ten minutes (for example), watching the wall or table clock. If it is appropriate, then it is possible to summarize not only orally, but also in writing, schematically depicting a model of the situation on paper. Structuring the conversation encourages the client to work rationally, not to "grind" the same thing for the tenth time, but to move on; when the client stops moving forward in the description of the situation, this will be a sure indication that he has already said everything essential. 2y. Understanding the client's situation model. The psychologist-consultant conducts analytical and critical work, formulates several hypotheses regarding this model. If a client came to a psychologist for help, this means that his model of a problem situation is either a) incorrect (perverted), or b) incomplete. In each hypothesis, therefore, it should be clearly formulated: a) does the client see the situation in the true light? b) if he does not see, then what is wrong? c) is the situation model complete? d) if not complete, then in what ways can this model be expanded? Of course, the psychologist-consultant should keep most of the conclusions here to himself, if only because so far there are only hypotheses. 2d. Criticism of hypotheses. The consultant asks the client questions aimed at clarifying and criticizing hypotheses. Questions here can, of course, be asked at random. But still, it is recommended to strive for at least an external structured conversation, without jumping from one to another. The result here should be that in the end there is only one working hypothesis (the main one). The fact is that the psychologist is forced to do most of the intellectual work in a hard mode, when there is little time. Therefore, it is necessary to work closely only with the main hypothesis. If it is not confirmed, then another hypothesis is taken as the main one. 2e. Presenting your hypothesis to the client. Since the client is usually already "well confused" in his problem situation, it happens very rarely that he immediately accepts the hypothesis and agrees with it. Therefore, it is important to emphasize that the consultant's considerations are so far only a hypothesis (assumptions), that the client is not required to agree with it, it is required to take the hypothesis as a working one and try to study the conclusions that it generates. In the process of working with the hypothesis, new details are likely to emerge that clarify the emerging objective model of the situation. It is likely that the hypothesis will be untenable, there is nothing to worry about; in this case, another hypothesis is taken as a working one. 2g. Criticism of the hypothesis, finding the truth. Are being considered various situations, typical and not quite typical. Before proceeding to the next stage, it is very important to find the truth, that is, an objective consistent model of the problem situation must be formulated and accepted by both parties.

3. Making an impact

3a. Let the client live with new knowledge. Further work directly depends on how true the model of the problem situation turned out to be. It is important to understand that if the model fails, then further work with the client (impact) is at risk; and if vice versa (the model is successful), then the client himself will be interested in living with new knowledge. Therefore, ideally, after developing a working model, you should release the client until the next meeting. He probably already got everything he needed, and therefore will no longer come to the next meeting. If there is no possibility, no need to interrupt the consultation, then you can simply make a small change. To do this, it is suitable to seat the client in a chair for fifteen minutes, turn on calm music and give him the opportunity to think about new knowledge. 3b. Correction of client settings. Of course, it is likely that the acquisition of new knowledge may not be sufficient for the client to manage the problem situation. Here, the client's complaints that "there is not enough strength", "I do not understand how", etc. are typical. The psychologist, together with the client, criticizes the false attitudes of the latter. Generates a list of new installations. Attitudes should be verbally accurate, simple, and effective. Much attention should be paid to attitudes aimed at gaining calm and confidence, at correcting the level of tone (calm down or vice versa mobilize) and the level of rationality-emotionality (become more rational or more emotional). Installations can be "accepted" in the form of self-hypnosis. Again, it will be useful here to give the client a chance to live with the new settings. It is possible that some settings will not take root. Then they may need to be changed or modified. 3c. Correction of client behavior. Helping the client to formulate possible alternatives to habitual behavior. Analysis and criticism of these alternatives, evaluation of their usefulness and effectiveness. Choosing the best alternative. Development of a plan for the implementation of this alternative. It is important to understand that the client may simply forget to apply the alternative behavior in the future. Therefore, in the literal sense, it must be trained to use the alternative. There are various ways to do this, for example role-playing games(in this case, the psychologist can take on the role of a relative or acquaintance of the client).

4. Completion of psychological consultation

4a. Summing up the conversation. Brief summary of what happened. "Repetition is the mother of learning." 4b. Discussion of issues related to the further relationship of the client with a consultant or other specialists. 4c. Parting. The client should be escorted at least to the door, say a few kind words to him.

Literature

Aleshina Yu. E. Family and individual psychological counseling. - M .: Editorial and Publishing Center of the Consortium "Social Health of Russia", 1993. - 172 p.

Hello. At school, I had to go to a psychologist, because I was very annoyed by a friend with whom I no longer wanted to communicate. I did not want to have a person next to me who seeks to change and suppress me. She was very outgoing and accessible, from childhood she watched ... porn (!). After she invited me to visit at the age of 12 and showed such a video, I did not want to communicate with her anymore. I don't like these kinds of films and the people who watch them. Then I decided not to communicate with her anymore, but she began to say that no one except her would be friends with me, etc. At that time I was a good girl (and now I remain the same), who always studied well and from whom before this incident I wrote off the whole class. She slept with the whole city and was wildly popular: she could sleep with ten (!) Guys at once at once - many people personally saw all this (she had a lot of friends and girlfriends, but they did not forget to gossip about her). And, apparently, she wanted me to become the same as her .... So, here she, along with her boyfriends and girlfriends, began to get me, so that I would be friends with her further and that I would change. But all this made me want to communicate with her even less ... It was very difficult, and because of the stress I had experienced, I even had to go to a psychiatrist. Since my parents always took care of me very much, they decided to take me to a psychologist, but this psychologist did not help, but only hurt ... She gave me following tips: get a manicure, smile at them and try to make friends with them ... Once she brought me to a suicide attempt, saying that I would always be like this ... In response to my displeasure, she told me “Yes, what are you worried about, you are so beautiful, and many don't even have that." I always did well in school, but due to my terrible problem (which the psychologist made even worse and which I managed to cope with on my own), I did not study well. Imagine, you are being attacked by your friends-thugs of your walking girlfriend, and she is constantly watching you everywhere, naturally, because of such stress, my academic performance has dropped sharply (although not very much), but my psychologist has not been able to understand that this is all due to the enormous stress that almost a child experienced. Not only did she once give me advice that resulted in my suicide attempt (in response to how much I hate them all, she said “you will always be like this.”) In her opinion, I should have apologized to them and again to be friends with a friend who did not put me in anything and tried to show that without her I was nobody.
At that time, I dreamed of becoming a translator, but our psychologist advised me to do only some garbage. I didn’t listen to her and decided to enter my favorite faculty (she considered me terribly incapable, because at the time when I talked with her I studied far from brilliantly, but she didn’t have the intelligence or professionalism to understand how everything really was ). I entered where I wanted to and successfully unlearned there. As I already said, I wanted to enter the Faculty of Foreign Languages, I always had great abilities for languages, for example, when I moved to another school at the end of the third grade, the whole class had already studied the language for a year, but in a month I was able to quickly catch up with my classmates . However, it seemed to her that I didn’t know anything and was not capable (I had fours in quarters and a couple of threes in three grades - eighth, ninth and tenth; before that I was an excellent student; in the eleventh I was a good student with many fives; but it doesn’t matter grades, they don't really mean anything...) figured I was able to unlearn by sleeping with the rich and paying teachers bribes. She came to this conclusion because at one time she was not smart enough to understand that it is difficult for a child to study well in such a terrible stressful situation and that there can be no question of ability at all. They talked about me all over the city. She did not forget to tell the whole city that I am so crazy and that I am very bad person(because I didn’t want to do what she told me: she never asked what I wanted to do, but always gave directive advice on what I should do, and I necessarily had to do only what she told me). This psychologist believes that, having mastered various techniques, such as determining lies, she can now make categorical assessments and think out situations. For example, she is sure that she owns the method of detecting lies and that she has figured me out (when I used to go to her appointment, she also “saw through” me using this technique, in general, she either does not own this technique or you need to know something something else, except for the methods ..). As for her opinion that I slept with the rich, did not study and went out all the time (in fact, everything was just the opposite), she has no real confirmation that this was actually the case (that's all pure water fantasy, because I didn’t communicate with anyone from our city, only with one girl, but I never told her anything). All their conjectures are based only on the fact that she saw in contact once a year (!) Photos from the bowling alley, which I went to with my classmates, and based on this, she decided that I was walking all the time, did not study, slept with the rich and paying bribes... (except for bowling once a year, I didn’t go anywhere else ...) She claims a lot about me, but this is all based only on fantasy and speculation, however, I have to admit it all. She endlessly tries to show me that I don’t know anything at all (although I probably already know foreign languages better than ours school teachers), but, as it turned out, I have no right to point out her mistakes (for example, how she conducted the reception as a counseling psychologist, she herself is our school psychologist). Of course, I am not a psychologist, but it seems to me that everything she did while consulting me was one big mistake. But the worst thing is that for all this she demands gratitude from me! Tell me, should I be grateful to her for this? Maybe she really did everything right and she really is a brilliant psychologist?
I, in principle, do not care about her, but now she managed to get into my real life. For example, I am now talking on the forum. There we also had a guy from our city. Now the inhabitants of our city are discussing me with our forum users, and they almost convinced them that I was a stupid prostitute. Now no one takes me seriously there, although I don’t deserve it in any way - since I studied with all my “classmates” and never dreamed of it, and I really am a much more professional than she and all our teachers. But now I don’t have the right to ask questions about her mistakes on our forum, because in their eyes she is a great professional fighting a maniac, and I am a crazy prostitute ...
Please tell me, is it normal if a psychologist hangs “labels” on a person, if he does not understand people, if he drives the client to suicide and believes that he himself is to blame, if he makes categorical judgments and judges a person by appearance? If he generally judges a person only on the outside? If he demands gratitude for all this and at the same time considers himself right and super-professional? How should a competent psychologist behave and are we obliged to listen to a person like her?

More and more people in our country are showing interest in psychology, realizing its importance and benefits. And of course, this interest, this enthusiasm that appears as knowledge is acquired, gives rise to a desire to help other people.

Where to start psychological counseling? Each of you can contribute to this wonderful cause. This is possible on three levels: on the first level, you improve something in your own life, solve some problems or questions, clarify something for yourself.

The second level is when your loved ones look at you, how your life is improving, and repeat something, bring it into their lives, follow some of your recommendations, and the atmosphere of your relationship changes, because you yourself improve your life , and this automatically applies to your entire family, friends, acquaintances.

And the third level is when life improves for your loved ones, and other people who may not know you personally look at them. And going on chain reaction, one after another, micro-changes occur that lead to something more.

And as your influence grows, you can help all more people. Now is the time to start getting serious about counseling.

Consulting as a business

So, you have decided to make consulting your profession, your favorite business that generates income. Someone has been doing psychology for 10 years, and someone has just begun to discover it for themselves - everyone can start, but it is important to do it right so that the start is quick and effective.

And the most important thing to start with is to learn to perceive psychology as a real source of income, as a means of mutually beneficial cooperation with clients. Clients are those who cooperate with us. We consultants are those who want to give professional knowledge.

And on the other hand, customers are people who want to take professional advice and apply it to your life. And for this, as well as for any cooperation, it is not shameful to ask and receive money.

The Soviet Union existed not so long ago, half a century has not passed, and, unfortunately, it so happened that in our country the profession of a psychologist is associated with anything, but not with money. But if you want to build a consulting practice, a consulting business, it is important to talk about money, because it is inextricably linked to the results of clients.

Very often we are afraid to take money, because we have the principle: “First quality services, then money. This is one of the important restrictions, because people begin to be tormented by doubts: “What if I make a mistake? What if it doesn't work out?"

This kind of honesty with oneself is very useful, it is an indispensable condition for working with other people. If we don’t know how to see our fears, our limitations, we will also hesitate, be embarrassed and “cover over” the problems of clients, therefore it is very important today to be sincere and look at ourselves as we are, without judgment, without criticism.

In order to grow, it is important to understand where you are now, to realize it, and only after awareness you can do something new that will give completely different results. In this sense, money is a good guarantee of quality. Because this is responsibility, this is the desire to give one hundred percent.

Hobby or business

You must see that there is a business and there is a hobby. And your task is to choose whether you will implement consulting as a hobby - a favorite business for which you can’t take money, or you will still build a business that will be really interesting.

The initial experience is the most difficult and the most important, because it is the foundation on which your further achievements will be based. And if it is laid incorrectly, it will be difficult to build further.

We will tell you how to start consulting from scratch and without experience, so that you can take the first steps in mastering a new profession - the profession of a consultant.

We will talk about how to conduct a consultation, what to say to a client, how to gain experience, where to get clients and how to find them, about the sales system, marketing, and so on.

We will also talk about how to become a sought-after and highly paid specialist in one or two months, because it is quite real.

People experiencing problems in Everyday life, consultations are simply needed, which should be carried out by qualified and experienced specialists. The need for such consultations is to help people solve problems (both personal and social). The task of the psychologist social educator) is to help a person see his difficulties from the outside, talk with him about those aspects of behavior and relationships that have become a source of problems and about which the patient usually does not know, and therefore cannot control. But after all, not everyone has the appropriate education, and sometimes a person needs urgent help, advice, reassurance, recommendations, etc. So how do you do it right?

1. To give advice to people, you need to be well versed in such matters.
2. You need to have a certain authority and respect in the team, among colleagues and acquaintances.
3. It is necessary to feel the situation well and be able to adjust, reorganize at any moment, so that it is imperceptible for the counselee.
4. Be sure to be friendly, patient, so that a person can open up and talk about his difficulties.

As a rule, for help, outsiders turn to themselves, they already know that this person can help and advise, or they are told who exactly they should contact.

The most accessible and effective consultation is a contact conversation. Conventionally, it can be divided into several stages.

First stage. Getting to know each other and starting a conversation.

It is recommended, without fussing, to stand up to meet a person, invite him to sit down. It takes some time for him to look around and get used to the environment (which should be conducive to dialogue). After a minute pause, when both looked at each other, you can start a conversation. The best thing is when the conversation will be conducted on an equal footing. If it is difficult for the counselee to start a conversation, you can use a remark like this: “You probably have something to tell me about?” or "I'm listening to you carefully."

Second phase. Interrogation of the consulted person.

It is necessary to form and test hypotheses, on which it will be necessary to give advice and consultations. In other words, at this stage you need to talk to a person. Most best reception is to stimulate his story with clarifying remarks.

After 10-15 minutes of conversation, usually the situation and the interlocutor's problem become clear. After that, when the advisory hypotheses have been formed, the next phase of the conversation begins. The consultant tests the hypothesis that has arisen by asking clarifying questions and remarks. This will help to reveal those facts that are not noticed by the client, due to their subjectivity.

Third stage. Impact.

The easiest way is to draw a person's attention to the identified contradictions in his story. The goal is to re-examine and analyze the behavior of the counselee that is at the root of the problem. It is necessary to clarify what a person wants to achieve. Need to discuss with him various options behavior. To do this, ask a question of such a plan: “Maybe it’s possible to do something differently in such a situation?”. In other words, you need to show the counselee that there are many other options for behavior applicable to this situation, that you can find the most optimal and least conflicting.

Fourth stage. Completion of the consultation.

At the final stage, the outcome of the conversation is summarized, questions are discussed that relate to the further actions of the interlocutor who asked for help.

Adhering to this alignment, you can give a good one to a person, thereby providing him with real help.