From the ability to find mutual language a lot depends on anyone. This and the promotion of career ladder, and a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how to become interesting companion? What to say, what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's take a look at how to improve your communication skills.
You've probably met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly maintain a conversation and even entertain the company, if necessary. For the latter, it is difficult to speak to a stranger, it is difficult to choose topics for conversation or to speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting interlocutor?
First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who walk easily through life have a much simpler attitude to many things. They are interested in a lot, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is easy to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.
Another one distinctive feature interesting interlocutor - a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Amusing incidents, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at oneself make such people even more attractive interlocutors.
How to become an interesting person
A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how do you become an interesting person and conversationalist? No matter how hard we try to learn the technologies of conducting a conversation and we did not select interesting topics, without deep study personal qualities it will be useless. One must be interesting first of all to oneself. It is necessary not only to study a lot and learn new things, but also to be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not stammer and remember historical event or a new anecdote. Train your memory and attention, this will help you overcome communication difficulties.
What to read to develop your communication skills
Many books, manuals and brochures are published in the world every day for those who want to master the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first edition that comes across, you can be disappointed.
Choose the literature that has already passed the test of time and took its rightful place on the shelves. Classical works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. Not only will you learn how to communicate well, but you will also be able to understand people better.
The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.
Periodicals will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often co-authored with professionals. They definitely won't hurt. You can even create a selection of clippings for yourself to use.
Basic rules for an interesting conversationalist
Having studied the theory of the psychology of communications, you can start to practice. There are several techniques that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:
Forbidden topics of conversation
Not everything and not always worth starting a conversation. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never bring up these questions:
- Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because all kinds of events are constantly taking place in the world. People can have many different points of view, and saying one of them categorically can easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
- Health - this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of their last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about their illnesses.
- Personal life - people do not like to be harassed with obsessive questions. Topics such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, etc. are a personal matter for everyone. Discussion of them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.
What to talk about
But then the question arises: what is it permissible to have conversations about? There are many topics for conversation:
- Advances in science, including new technology: phones, cars, etc.
- Fashion, beauty, style - just don't indulge in banal gossip.
- Movies, books, plays and other interesting events.
How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl
In the development of relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same thing about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations given, and you will definitely be successful with the opposite sex.
Supporting any conversation, supplementing the dialogue with facts, decorating the speech with successful verbal phrases and quotes is a whole art that a person learns from early childhood... We learn to listen to the interlocutor, catch the thought and support him, using the information that we receive every day from the means mass media... It is very important to be able to competently build your thoughts and express them during a conversation. Public speaking makes us a charismatic, knowledgeable and wise person. Let's find out how to become an interesting conversationalist and what you need to do for this.
Fighting the inner self
If at least one complex sits inside you, then it can make you a squeezed and insecure person. An interesting interlocutor is, first of all, one who was able to thoroughly work on himself. If you are a shy, humble, cowardly and unlucky person then this article is for you. Try a little experiment: take a piece of paper and mentally draw a line in the center. In the first column, write down all your positive traits and hobbies, in the second - all their fears and complexes. Take a look at the list and be surprised: after all, the first column will indicate at least 5 interests that partly make you happy. Each hobby can grow into something bigger and more grandiose, which will ultimately defeat your complexes.
Correct society
You won't know how to become an interesting conversationalist if you try to please everyone and everyone. Sometimes you do not notice that you are surrounded by people whose hobbies are fundamentally different from your inner "I". This may manifest itself as ignorance on the part of the interlocutor or comments addressed to you that it is boring and uninteresting to listen to you.
First of all, analyze how your worldview coincides with the surrounding society. Then just change your social circle. Not sure where to find it? Attend concerts, museums, sporting events, poetry evenings, handicraft courses or foreign languages... Turning your interests into reality, developing them, you will begin to notice how your environment is changing, amazing people appear in it who want and will listen to you with rapture.
If your partner is a man
Men love smart, they like it when the interlocutor can support any conversation. There is no need to limit yourself to the fact that men are the stronger sex who are only fond of sports, fishing and cars. First of all, the male part of the earth is the same representatives human race who are fond of cooking, cinema, literature, and animals. To become an interesting conversationalist for the male half of the population, you do not have to pretend that you like dialogue, and do not try to pull out any complicated facts from yourself. It is enough to be open, to win over your partner and not be shy about sharing your hobbies. Remembering this simple advice, you will know the truth of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a man.
If your partner is a girl
Girls are the fair sex. They are mysterious and romantic, dreamy and fragile. Girls, as a rule, love with their ears, so you have to find a certain approach for such an interlocutor. First, listen carefully to each story. If you're bored in the middle of a story, then it might not be your partner. Secondly, not all girls love fashion, animals, and photography. Many are fond of fishing, hunting, engineering, and some are much better than men repairs household appliances... The principle here is simple: to learn how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl, you need to be literate and well-read. You can amaze a girl only with facts, knowledge and out-of-the-box thinking, and not just beauty, strength and strong character.
Self-development books
Many people start small and ask themselves the question: "What books to read to become an interesting conversationalist?" It is enough to understand that you must develop constantly, and for this you need to read literature, watch scientific programs, and attend interesting events, and travel, and communicate with different people. Literature in this case will help to cognize only the theoretical part of oratory, but no more. After reading books, you need communication to learn how to hone your skills. We present to your attention the top 10 literary masterpieces that will help you learn about human nature and take a detached look at ideal interlocutors:
What does it take to be an interesting conversationalist? Become more open. You will not be able to attract attention if you are closed in your cocoon. Open up to people, learn to trust them, do not be afraid to talk about your hobbies, desires and dreams. But no one talks about being annoying and striving to win the hearts of everyone around.
If you don't know how to become an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to learn how to talk about yourself. If you are squeezed and closed in yourself, then an easy exercise will help you: write the stories from your life on a piece of paper, read carefully. Try writing down thoughts and feelings that you cannot tell out loud.
Do not be afraid to express your opinion and defend a personal point of view, do not be afraid to ask about the interlocutor's affairs and give advice if you are asked. Be confident and proud, never lower your eyes and head. Feel free to compliment and call the other person by name. By following all these tips, you will learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.
Do you dream of becoming an interesting conversationalist and always being in the spotlight? Effective tips from a psychologist will help you become an interesting conversationalist today!
Well, who doesn't dream of being liked by everyone around ?!
Agree, there is hardly such a person on earth.
We all want love, universal recognition and worship, but we do not know at all how to achieve this.
So that become an interesting conversationalist, must be:
- groovy;
- charismatically active;
- interesting;
- and a great listener.
It should be understood that it is simply impossible to please everyone!
After all, not everyone likes the gorgeous Brad Pitt.
However, it's not all bad.
And if you cannot please all people on earth, then you can easily.
Of course, this is not easy, but quite real.
And if you decide, by all means, to become an interesting interlocutor, then following tips will help you in this difficult matter.
A bore will never be an interesting conversationalist
Believe me, nobody can ever be interested in being tedious.
Yes, because people will quickly get bored of hearing for the hundredth time the story that your ex is a goat or how you chose the battery in the kitchen.
Other nerds may find such a story exciting, but your goal is to become an interesting conversationalist, not to create a club of nerds.
Charismatic person = good listener
Remember - everything charismatic people are good listeners.
Do not feed us with bread - just let us tell our beloved about yourself!
We absolutely do not like to delve into other people's problems.
Knowing this feature and starting to listen to the interlocutor, you will instantly turn into a good listener with whom they will share their experiences, and with whom they will be consulted in any trifles.
Talk about the interests of your interlocutor
Ask your interlocutor about his hobbies, ask leading questions.
You can even discuss his interests.
Research conducted by psychologists has shown that when talking, the focus is on facial expressions and gestures.
Often, with a confident tone and with the right gestures, you can carry such nonsense that the listeners will pray for this person!
And this clean water truth!
Note that at the university it often happens that Losers who confidently carry the bullshit bullshit get a higher grade than stuttering crammers who answer all the questions correctly.
“I was hungry for communication - I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to resist loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy. " These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.
Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is so arranged. It is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, a lot of work, which is often avoided.
What obstacles can arise on the way to the art of interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?
I talked to myself. An interesting conversationalist, however.
author unknown
Barriers to Conversation
1. Shyness
One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off to others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in which they did not really communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.2. Self-doubt
Many people can fear looking stupid for years, or fear being hit by a shower of criticism. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.3. An inferiority complex
This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an "incapable loser", so he prefers to suffer in silence.There is another side of the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when the other speaks, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.
How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?
Listen, be interested, be attentive
If you are at a loss as to what to say, do not despair. In fact, you know a lot more than you think.And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or is not interested in you, analyze how much you are able to listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep the conversation going.
Both interlocutors should speak out. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: "Take care not only of your own needs, but also of the needs of another."
For this:
- be interested in others, their state of mind... Before you talk about yourself or ask for anything, learn to ask about the interlocutor's affairs, for example: "How are you feeling?" or “Can I help you with something?”;
- pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it speaks about the feelings of the other more than his words.
A taciturn interlocutor can drive you to despair, a talkative one - to a crime.
Don Aminado
But what if you are talking to someone who is not good at talking?
Give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings anyway. To do this, ask tactful questions. Suppose you are talking to an elderly person.
Ask him how much the world has changed or family life since his youth. Besides the fact that you will learn a lot yourself, you will do something pleasant for the interlocutor.
How to become an interesting person and develop charisma
In society, and especially among public figures, very often there are people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. Nevertheless, from the very first minutes of acquaintance, it becomes clear that this person is an incredibly interesting person, attracting people to him with his charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that a person is very charismatic.It is widely believed that charisma cannot be developed as a skill and that this feature character is given to people by nature. There is a certain grain of truth in this, a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, at ease and naturally, but this does not mean at all that unfortunate people who are deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetation outside the social circle.
In order to take the first step on the path to becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. It is about developing a respectful attitude towards ourselves, you need to love yourself, accept all the shortcomings and weak sides and then try to focus on the benefits.
You should not look for selfish motives in self-love, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you, it is necessary to understand that a person who is not able to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.
Only by starting to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.
The next step follows directly from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. Impossible to become charismatic personality if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem are on the way. When around a charismatic and outgoing person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed, and at ease.
A closed person, by his behavior, makes others feel uncomfortable, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a tight person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It is much easier to be yourself, to stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this is a lot of work, which can only be done with a lot of effort.
As you know, any skill develops during training. It is impossible to learn how to cook well, play on musical instrument, understand the technique, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same goes for the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate a lot with by different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help form the ability to quickly navigate in a conversation, and the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe friends, will be a pleasant bonus.
It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, therefore, it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. It is necessary to read a lot of literature on the most different topics, people have a very subtle sense of a well-read person and have respect for such a person.
Thus, we involuntarily transfer a dignified and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the attitude is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. It is necessary to follow the golden rule and treat people as best as possible in order to get the same in return, then there will be no problems.
Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation
10 tips for becoming an interesting person and conversationalist
Pay attention to people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your acquaintances attract more attention to themselves, listen to them more, sympathize with them, while others remain unnoticed, even if they try to be in the spotlight.Obviously, few people will be pleased with the company of a boring, constant whining, lagging behind a person's life. After all, the interlocutor in the process of communication wants not only to speak out himself, but also to draw for himself interesting information, recharge with energy from a partner.
In order to please people, you yourself have to be an interesting conversationalist. Following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience accumulates, and your circle of acquaintances expands.
1. Become a good conversationalist
- Learn to listen carefully;
- Ask questions of the interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
- Express your emotions about what you hear. For example: “I am outraged by his act ...”, “how did you manage to do it…”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it…”;
- Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
- No ridicule, over the feelings of the interlocutor;
- Do not teach, do not insist, but advise and recommend.
3. Have your own passions
When you are passionate about something, your eyes are burning, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy that is transmitted to others.4. Experiment and share your results and experiences
It will be helpful to others, you will be grateful.5. Don't sit at home
Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and possibly meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.6. Register on social networks
Connect to your friends more people, even if you are not familiar with them, find groups of like-minded hobbyists.Put it on your page interesting photos, join the discussion, express your opinion.
7. Connect with a variety of people
Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know if you are active you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, do not hesitate.8. Be confident
Remember that you are unique with your own characteristics, with your "cockroaches in your head", and therefore are interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die of boredom.9. Go in for sports
Yes, this is not easy, especially if you have never even done exercises before. But it is not necessary to exhaust yourself with simulators if you do not like it and cannot afford it. You can start by walking or running quickly.People who go in for sports are always more self-confident, more energetic.
10. Watch yourself
The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hair, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tasteless.If you don't like today's fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.
Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, first of all, you will become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer have sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.
Conclusion
Remember that no matter how difficult it is for you to communicate with others today, you can always fix it. Remember that the best stimuli for conversation are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.Develop such qualities in yourself, and it will be much more interesting to communicate with you!
Hello dear ladies! Very often I hear from girls such phrases as “I’m boring”, “I don’t know how to be alone for a long time”, “I don’t have fun with me” and so on. The main problem is that women do not understand how to become interesting to themselves. Today I would like to talk about this and find out what needs to be done in such a situation. How not to turn into a jester, not to go crazy with loneliness and find inner harmony.
Why do you need it
Let's start by figuring out what you want to be interesting for. And even better - for whom.
There are two options: for yourself and for those around you. The point is that for good result you will have to take a different approach, depending on the answer to the question why.
If you do this for yourself, then we will talk about internal development, communication with yourself, finding activities that will develop potential. Here the path lies through self-knowledge and self-study. In this case, it is absolutely all the same to the opinion of others, to their attitude towards you. And often, the attitude of others is even harmful in a similar situation.
When you want to be interesting to others, things are completely different. Here, the opinion of others and the attitude of others are just very important. In this case, it will be very important concept sole of company. After all, these are the people who are most popular.
In any case, there are some general principles and provisions that can be applied in both options. Thus, you can become interesting for yourself, and be cheerful, sociable and entertaining in the company.
My own mistress
The first thing I would like to talk about is self-sufficiency. This quality will be useful to you in both cases. If you want to learn to be in harmony with yourself, then you certainly need to acquire a similar character trait.
The bottom line is that you shouldn't do something for a man, for a friend, for a mom, for a son, or anyone else. Your life is in your hands. You have your thoughts, your attitude to things. You and only you are responsible for your actions. You do not depend on others and their opinion of you, but at the same time you treat everyone with respect and dignity. That's where the harmony is.
If you want to be the soul of the company, then you need self-sufficiency in order to perfectly understand the difference between useful and important tips others and simple envy and hypocrisy. This quality will teach you to listen to the opinions of acquaintances and draw conclusions. Do not blindly trust all words.
I have already raised the issue of this quality in the article "". I am sure it will be extremely useful to you. Be sure to read.
Work and hobbies
Another very important point is what you do. Your job or hobby should bring you tremendous pleasure. You yourself should be delighted and interested in your occupation. The girl who sits at home all day and scrolls through the news feed in social networks will not be interesting either to herself or to those around her.
Have you noticed how the eyes of people who have found a favorite business shine? And how do they know how to infect with their positive and positive energy everyone around? You can do it too! One has only to start. It can be absolutely any activity. You know yourself well. Remember your childhood, look into your dreams, shake up your imagination.
If you think that your work is completely uninteresting, boring, monotonous and no one will listen to it, then you simply cannot tell beautifully. A friend of mine worked as a completely ordinary bank clerk. Loans, financial schemes, numbers, papers and nothing exciting. But he talked so enthusiastically about his work that everyone sat with their mouths open and did not blink while he talked about his work.
Try to see your work differently for yourself. Find what is interesting in her, why you love her, what delights and inspires you. Study new facets of your occupation, expand your knowledge, improve your qualifications. Grow and learn.
If you are sitting at home now and cannot find suitable job, then the article "" will be very useful for you. Remember that nothing is impossible in the world.
Don't lose your self
On this path, it is very important not to lose yourself and not become a generally accepted pattern " interesting person". It is always important to remain yourself and not betray your principles. Many people, trying to become interesting and not boring, lose their zest. That is why I spoke about self-sufficiency in the first place.
The more versatile you are, the broader your views on the world, the more interesting it will be to talk with you. After all, when a person is very fixated on one thing with him and there is not much to talk about. For development, read more books, watch movies from different eras, study art, pay attention to the exact sciences.
Moreover, a sense of humor will greatly help you along the way. Agree, it is a pleasure to be in a company where there is a person who knows how to joke. I haven't met girls with a good sense of humor that often, but this is not their fault. It is believed in the world that a woman cannot joke. Therefore, the young ladies do not even try to learn this. But jokes, like mathematical formulas you can learn. It all depends on you.
Dear women, I am sure that you will definitely succeed in your plans. I would advise you to first learn to be interesting to yourself. Then it will not be so difficult to become interesting to others.
I would be very glad to hear your stories. Have you ever done something to get into the spotlight? Do you have a friend who is the "soul of the party"? And what do you think sets her apart from others?