From the ability to find mutual language A lot depends on anyone. This is also promotion career ladder, and a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how to become interesting conversationalist? What to say, about what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's figure out how to improve your communication skills.
You've probably met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly carry on a conversation and even entertain the company if necessary. For the latter, it is difficult to start a conversation with a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting interlocutor?
First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who move through life easily have a much simpler attitude towards many things. They are interested in many things, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is not difficult to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.
Another one distinguishing feature an interesting interlocutor - a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Funny incidents from life, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at themselves make such people even more attractive interlocutors.
How to become an interesting person
A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become an interesting person and conversationalist? No matter how hard we try to study conversation technologies and select interesting topics, without deep study personal qualities it will be useless. You need to be interesting first of all to yourself. You must not only study a lot and learn new things, but also be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not stutter while remembering historical event or a new joke. Train your memory and attention, this will help overcome communication difficulties.
What to read to develop communication skills
Many books, manuals and brochures are published every day around the world for those who want to master the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first edition you come across, you may be disappointed.
Choose literature that has already stood the test of time and taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classic works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. Not only will you learn proper communication techniques, but you will also be able to understand people better.
The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.
Periodicals will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't do any harm. You can even make a selection of clippings for yourself to make them easier to use.
Basic rules of an interesting interlocutor
Having studied the theory of communication psychology, you can begin to practice. There are several techniques that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:
Taboo topics for conversation
Not everything is worth talking about and not always. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:
- Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because a variety of events are constantly happening in the world. People can hold many different points of view, and categorically expressing one of them can easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
- Health – this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of their last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about your illnesses.
- Personal life - people don’t like being pestered with intrusive questions. Topics such as marriage, having children, divorce, etc. are a personal matter for everyone. Discussing them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.
What to talk about
But then the question arises: what is acceptable to talk about? There are many topics for conversation:
- Achievements of science, including new technologies: telephones, cars, etc.
- Fashion, beauty, style - just don’t indulge in banal gossip.
- Cinema, books, performances and other interesting events.
How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl
When developing relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same things about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations given, and you will definitely have success with the opposite sex.
Many people are interested in how to become an interesting conversationalist, what needs to be done for this, what methods, methods and recommendations there are. After all, being excellent and interesting is very useful when communicating; it allows you to be more confident, find new acquaintances, friends, and at the same time become better and more successful.
In this article you will learn how become interesting interlocutor, what are the secrets of psychologists, tips and recommendations to learn how to communicate with all people and be interesting to everyone. We are all different and each person needs a different approach; this article will help you develop this feeling if you apply all the advice in practice.
Learn to listen
To become an interesting conversationalist, you just need to learn to listen to the person who is communicating with you. We all love to talk about ourselves and our problems, and if you lower your egoism and allow your interlocutor to express his thoughts and opinions, he will see that you know how to listen and you will become for him best conversationalist, even if you personally do not know how to communicate either.
Talk about what people need, not what you need
To become an interesting conversationalist, stop being selfish and thinking only about yourself. Start the conversation by solving someone else's problems and end the conversation by solving your problems. Then you and your interlocutor will remain in excellent relations and solve all your and his problems. Many are only interested in their own problems and, as a result, cannot solve anything.
Be like your interlocutor
To become interesting interlocutor, you need to remember that people like people who are similar to them. Therefore, try to adapt to each interlocutor, but at the same time remaining confident in yourself. Copy the voice, tempo, intonation and behavior of your interlocutor and then it will become easier for him to communicate with you and you will find a common language to solve problems.
Communicate with people more often
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to try, experiment and not be afraid of being rejected. Fear prevents us from communicating with others and, accordingly, our self-confidence decreases. To raise it and become a better communicator, don’t be afraid to communicate with different people, don’t be afraid to intrude and try to help people. Communicate with those who share the same opinions about life with you and are interested in your advice and suggestions.
Use a smile
Support your interlocutor
To become an interesting conversationalist, you need to maintain a conversation and share opinions with the interlocutor. If he is wrong, you don’t have to tell him about it unless he asks you to. Keep the truth to yourself and then you won't offend anyone. But if you need to make a decision and the wrong point of view is imposed on you, you should not hide it. But don't just tell the truth, but turn to facts and evidence. Don't waste time arguing and criticizing.
Supporting any conversation, supplementing the dialogue with facts, decorating the speech with successful phrases and quotes is an entire art that a person learns with early childhood. We learn to listen to the interlocutor, catch the thought and support him, using the information that we receive daily from the means mass media. It is very important to be able to correctly organize your thoughts and express them during a conversation. Public speaking makes us charismatic, knowledgeable and wise. Let's find out how to become an interesting conversationalist and what you need to do for this.
Fighting the inner self
If there is at least one complex inside you, then it can make you a tense and insecure person. An interesting interlocutor is, first of all, one who was able to carefully work on himself. If you are a shy, modest, cowardly and unlucky person, then this article is for you. Try a little experiment: take a piece of paper and mentally draw a line down the center. In the first column, write down all your positive traits and hobbies, in the second - all your fears and complexes. Take a look at the list and be surprised: after all, the first column will indicate at least 5 interests that partly make you happy. Every hobby can grow into something bigger and grander, which will ultimately overcome your complexes.
Proper society
You won't learn how to be an interesting conversationalist if you try to please everyone. Sometimes you don’t notice that you are surrounded by people whose hobbies are completely different from your inner self. This may manifest itself as ignorance on the part of the interlocutor or comments addressed to you that listening to you is uninteresting and boring.
First of all, analyze how much your worldview coincides with the surrounding society. Then just change your social circle. Don't know where to find it? Visit concerts, museums, sporting events, poetry evenings, handicraft courses or foreign languages. By translating your interests into reality, developing them, you will begin to notice how your environment is changing, amazing people appear in it who want and will listen to you with rapture.
If your partner is a man
Men love smart people; they like it when their interlocutor can support any conversation. There is no need to limit yourself to the fact that men are the stronger sex who are only interested in sports, fishing and cars. First of all, the male part of the earth is the same representatives human race who are interested in cooking, cinema, literature, and animals. To become an interesting conversationalist for the male half of the population, you should not pretend that you enjoy the dialogue, and do not try to extract any intricate facts from yourself. It’s enough to be open, win over your partner and don’t be shy about sharing your hobbies. Remembering this simple advice, you will learn the truth of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a man.
If your partner is a girl
Girls are the fair sex. They are mysterious and romantic, dreamy and fragile. Girls, as a rule, love with their ears, so you must find a certain approach for such an interlocutor. First, listen carefully to each story. If you're bored in the middle of a story, it might not be your partner. Secondly, not all girls love fashion, animals and photography. Many people are interested in fishing, hunting, mechanical engineering, and others are much more interested in better than men repairs household appliances. The principle here is simple: to find out how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl, you need to be literate and well-read. You can impress a girl only with facts, knowledge and innovative thinking, and not just with beauty, strength and strong character.
Books for self-development
Many people start small and ask the question: “What books should I read to become an interesting conversationalist?” It is enough to understand that you must constantly develop, and for this you need to read literature, and watch scientific programs, and attend interesting events, and travel, and communicate with different people. In this case, literature will help you understand only the theoretical part of oratory, but no more. After reading the books, you need communication to learn how to hone your craft. We present to your attention the top 10 literary masterpieces that will help you understand human nature and look from the outside at ideal interlocutors:
What does it take to be an interesting conversationalist? Become more open. You won't be able to attract attention if you are closed in your cocoon. Open up to people, learn to trust them, don’t be afraid to talk about your hobbies, desires and dreams. But no one talks about being pushy and trying to win the hearts of everyone around you.
If you don’t know how to become an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to learn to talk about yourself. If you are tense and withdrawn, then a simple exercise will help you: write down stories from your life on a piece of paper, read them carefully. Try putting down on paper thoughts and feelings that you can't say out loud.
Don’t be afraid to express your opinion and defend your personal point of view, don’t be afraid to ask about your interlocutor’s business and give advice if asked. Be confident and proud, never lower your eyes and head. Don't be shy about complimenting and calling your interlocutor by name. By following all these tips, you will learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.
“I craved connection—I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to combat loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy.” These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important human needs - communication.
Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is built that way. This is an indispensable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how dear he is to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, it is a lot of work, which is often avoided.
What obstacles may arise on the way to the art of interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?
He was talking to himself. An interesting conversationalist, though.
author unknown
Obstacles to conversation
1. Shyness
One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people close themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in a culture in which they did not particularly communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, were separated from others.2. Lack of self-confidence
Many people may spend years feeling afraid of looking stupid or being criticized. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.3. Inferiority complex
This is the case when a person does not mind communicating, but considers himself an “incapable loser,” so he prefers to suffer in silence.There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when someone else is speaking, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.
How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others in an interesting and warm way?
Listen, be interested, be attentive
If you're at a loss as to what exactly to say, don't despair. You actually know a lot more than you think.And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or that no one is interested in you, analyze how much you can listen. You don't have to talk all the time to keep a conversation going.
Both interlocutors must speak. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: “Take care not only of your needs, but also of the needs of others.”
For this:
- be interested in others, their state of mind. Before talking about yourself or asking for anything, learn to ask about your interlocutor’s affairs, for example: “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”;
- pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it says more about the feelings of the other than his words.
A taciturn interlocutor can lead to despair, a talkative one - to crime.
Don Aminado
But what should you do if you are talking to someone who is not good at conversation?
Still, give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. To do this, ask tactful questions. Let's say you're talking to an older person.
Ask him about how the world has changed or family life since his youth. In addition to the fact that you learn a lot yourself, you will make your interlocutor happy.
How to become an interesting person and develop charisma
In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. However, from the first minutes of meeting it becomes clear that this person is an incredibly interesting person who attracts people with his charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that the person is very charismatic.There is a widespread belief that charisma cannot be developed as a skill, and that this feature character is given to people by nature. There is a certain amount of truth in this; a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, naturally and naturally, but this does not mean at all that those unfortunate people deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetate outside the social circle.
In order to take the first step towards becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. We are talking about developing a respectful attitude towards ourselves, we need to love ourselves, accept all our shortcomings and weak sides, and then try to focus on the benefits.
In self-love you should not look for selfish motives, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself over everyone around you; you need to understand that a person who is unable to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.
Only by beginning to respect oneself does a person become open to accepting love from the outside.
The next step directly follows from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem stand in the way. When you are around a charismatic and outgoing person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed and at ease.
A closed person, by his behavior, makes those around him feel awkward, and as a result, they try to stop communicating with such a closed person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, and you cannot run away from yourself. It is much easier to be yourself, to stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this is a lot of work, which can only be done with considerable effort.
As you know, any skill develops through training. It is impossible to learn to cook well, play the musical instrument, understand technology, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same applies to the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate a lot with different people, preferably with strangers. Such training will help you develop the ability to quickly navigate a conversation, and a pleasant bonus will be the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe even friends.
It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, and therefore it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. You need to read a lot of literature on the most different topics, people very sensitively feel a well-read person and have respect for such a person.
Thus, we inevitably transfer a decent and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the relationship is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. You need to follow the golden rule and treat people the best you can to get the same in return, then no problem will arise.
Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation
10 tips on how to become an interesting person and conversationalist
Pay attention to the people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your friends attract more attention, they are listened to more, they are sympathized with, while others remain unnoticed, even if they make attempts to be in the center of attention.Obviously, few people will enjoy the company of a boring, constantly whining person who is behind the times. After all, in the process of communication, the interlocutor wants not only to speak out for himself, but also to learn for himself interesting information, recharge your energy from your partner.
In order to please people, you need to be an interesting conversationalist yourself. By following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience is accumulated, and your circle of acquaintances is expanding.
1. Become a good communicator
- Learn to listen carefully;
- Ask questions to your interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
- Express your emotions about what you heard. For example: “I am outraged by his action...”, “how did you manage to do this...”, “it’s so wonderful that you did it all...”;
- Keep the conversation going interesting facts from life, books, articles;
- No ridicule of the feelings of the interlocutor;
- Don’t lecture, don’t insist, but advise and recommend.
3. Have your own hobbies
When you are passionate about something, your eyes light up, you are overwhelmed with emotions, you are full of energy, which is transmitted to others.4. Experiment and share your results and experiences
It will be useful for others, you will be grateful.5. Don't sit at home
Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports competitions). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet acquaintances, and perhaps meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.6. Register on social networks
Connect as a friend more people, even if you don’t know them closely, find groups of like-minded hobbyists.Post it on your page interesting photos, join in discussions, express your opinion.
7. Connect with a variety of people
Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know that if you are active, you are interesting to other people. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, don’t doubt it.8. Be confident
Remember that you, with your characteristics, with your “cockroaches in your head,” are unique, and therefore interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die out of boredom.9. Play sports
Yes, it’s not easy, especially if you’ve never even done exercise before. But you don’t have to exhaust yourself with exercise equipment if you don’t like it and can’t afford it. You can start with brisk walking or running.People who play sports are always more confident and energetic.
10. Look after yourself
The first thing that catches your eye is the person's appearance. Watch your clothes, shoes, hairstyle, makeup. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress tastelessly.If you don’t like today’s fashion, you need to study the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.
Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, you will first of all become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer be visited by sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and the workload of exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.
Conclusion
Remember that no matter how difficult it may be for you to communicate with others today, you can always improve it. Don't forget that the best conversation starters are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.Develop these qualities in yourself, and communicating with you will be much more interesting!
To be interesting to other people, you need constant self-improvement and development. Constantly learn something new, study, travel, expand your horizons. With an erudite person there is always something to talk about, he is always interesting. Find a passion for yourself. It doesn't matter what it is: painting or diving, dancing or gardening. At a minimum, you will always be interesting to those who share your passion. In addition, a passionate person who devotes himself entirely to his hobby often becomes successful and receives recognition and respect in society. And success will make you interesting to a huge number of people. Be versatile developed person. Being deeply passionate about one thing should not make you a one-sided person. Be interested in art, sports, music, astronomy, literature, etc. You need to learn something new throughout your life; this is the only way to avoid personality degradation. Share your knowledge with others - this is the meaning of communicating with interesting people! Bernard Shaw said it best: “If we exchange apples, then you and I will have one apple each. If we exchange ideas, you and I will each have two ideas.” The desire for new knowledge is inherent in people. And if you are the source of this knowledge, interest in you will not dry up. Learn to express your thoughts beautifully, present information competently, and you will provide yourself with an audience of grateful listeners who listen to your every word and consider you a very interesting person. Accept and love yourself as you are. Each personality is interesting in its own way, “the whole Universe is hidden in every person.” Look at yourself from the outside, determine your strong traits and develop them. Don't hide your talents and achievements from people. And some flaws can be made part of your unique image. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinion on everything and defend it if necessary. Many people are afraid to stand out and prefer to be part of the crowd all their lives. Take risks, find your way, fall and rise again. The richer your life experience, the more interesting you are to others. Use your sense of humor. Wit and ease of communication are the most reliable way gain fans and friends. Anyone who knows how to make a joke at the right time and defuse the situation never gets bored alone. Smile, make others smile, and you will always be the center of attention!
An interesting personality is attractive to others. It’s a pleasure to communicate with a bright, extraordinary, versatile person. Such an individual knows how to listen and carry on a conversation, he amazes with his charisma and love of life, has an excellent sense of humor and attracts other people. If you want to become such a person, learn the basic qualities interesting people.
Development
To be an interesting conversationalist, you need to constantly learn something new. Be curious, study issues that interest you, expand your horizons. Just think how many objects in the world are worthy of attention, and at the same time how often you can meet boring, narrow-minded people. Don’t be like them, study, travel, engage in self-development.
Find your calling. Charismatic personality strives for self-realization. You can express yourself through work or hobbies. If you find a professional field in which your talents are useful, or become interested in some activity in your free time, then you can infect other people with your enthusiasm.
Interesting people are those who love their work and are happy to immerse themselves in it headlong.
Try to be a well-rounded person. Pay attention to all your talents and abilities. Limited people are not as interesting to others as addicted people.
The art of conversation
Learn to share your knowledge and experience. Become a great conversationalist. To do this, you need to improve your storytelling and listening skills.
To become a good storyteller, you need to learn to express your own thoughts beautifully, correctly and accurately. Reading good literature and constant practice in writing and writing will help you master this talent. oral speech.
In addition, you should learn to notice interesting details and become more attentive.
Eye contact with the interlocutor and, again, attentiveness, as well as demonstrating that you understand the person, will help you in your listening skills. Of course, there is no need to interrupt the speaker.
Self-acceptance
A person who, first of all, accepts himself becomes attractive to others. Try to see the virtues in yourself first and foremost. It’s better to forget about shortcomings that you cannot correct.
Self-respect, sincere self-love, self-acceptance makes a person worthy of love from others. Be a self-sufficient person, and people will be drawn to you. Strong people Those who are looking not for approval, but for simple communication, are truly interesting to others.
Under any circumstances, try to remain yourself. Don't betray your principles by blindly following the crowd. Know how to defend own point vision. Learn to resist unwanted influence and manipulation, maintain your originality. Charismatic person lives in harmony with himself and is not afraid to follow his chosen path.