How often do we dream of being liked by everyone? And how much needs to be done for this! You need to be funny, interesting, charismatic, and a good listener. The list can go on for a very long time. But here's something worth noting. You can't please absolutely every person. This is simply impossible, and in our article we have already said why.
But if you can’t please everyone, then you can still be a person with whom it’s simply interesting to communicate. This is also not easy and requires many qualities, but at least it is real. And for this you need to follow several rules.
Don't be boring
It is very difficult for us to understand that we are boring at a given moment in time, because each of us considers himself the best in everything. Are you telling an interesting story and you see people yawning? Perhaps this story is not as interesting as it seems. Try to finish it and let other people speak.
The most charismatic people are always good listeners
People love to talk about themselves and their loved ones, and that is why there is always a shortage of good listeners. Let your interlocutor tell you about himself. Ask him counter questions. It's strange, but the people we like the most always say little.
Discuss your interlocutor's interests
This problem is explained very well in Dale Carnegie's book, a review of which you can find. Find out from your interlocutor about his hobbies and ask questions. And discuss them. You are already 80% close to being liked. If you are well versed in the hobbies of your interlocutor, you can easily maintain a conversation. If not, then ask him in more detail. He will tell you with great pleasure.
Rule of 3 stories
People are not interested in the features of your new phone. What really turns them on is real stories that happened to you. Dramas and reality shows have become popular for a reason. So always have 3 in stock interesting stories that you can talk about. These stories should be exciting, emotional and engaging. People must be wondering what will happen next minute?
Charisma
There is so much meaning put into this word that it becomes difficult to understand what it really means. Some say that you are born with charisma, while others believe that this skill is developed over the years. But here's what's interesting:
A study conducted by two psychologists in 1967 proved that in a conversation, only 7% of attention goes to words. The interlocutor pays the rest of his attention to the tone of speech and body language.
Laugh. Smile. Be emotional. Don't forget about gestures and don't rely only on words.
Chat with interesting people, read interesting books. The people you spend time with greatly influence your character, whether you like it or not. Most The right way to become interesting is to live interesting life. And believe me, this will give you much more than just the opportunity to be interesting conversationalist.
There are no boundaries for perfection. For this reason, people are interested in how to become better. They strive to improve their character, acquire new skills and are willing to pay attention spiritual development.
Let me note that this task is feasible for everyone. Will help with this step-by-step recommendations. The main thing is desire and perseverance. Otherwise, you won’t have to count on results.
- Make a list of the traits you want to improve. It is guaranteed that there will be character qualities and external flaws that do not suit you. I advise you to start with the little things that burn nerve cells.
- It doesn’t hurt to analyze everything and communicate with people of different generations. Don't be shy about asking for advice. Only then accept the only thing and correct solution.
- Create an action plan aimed at correcting deficiencies. If you identify the problem, you've done half the job. Don't forget about the existence of the other half, because achieving your goal depends on how correctly you act.
- Ready plan do it step by step. Write the steps on different sheets of paper and use them one at a time. This will relieve psychological stress and allow you to concentrate on the goal.
- Starting with simple things, you will overcome the resistance created by the body. It will appear every time you want to leave your comfort zone. For example, the body will not like it if you replace travel in public transport with walking.
- Be sure to track your results. Keeping a diary will help with this. After each achievement, be sure to praise yourself to strengthen your willpower.
- During experiments, I do not recommend overloading with other activities. Otherwise, you will fail, and the work done will be in vain.
- Never forget about pampering and praise. If you haven't eaten sweets for three days, treat yourself to a hot bath using aromatic oils. Such self-hypnosis will show that you are moving in in the right direction.
- Having secured success, switch to a more serious goal. Try not to shock the psyche, otherwise old habits will return.
The process of self-improvement cannot be called easy, but doing nothing is more difficult. Don't wait for life to force you to change. Try to find shortcomings yourself and do everything possible to eliminate them.
Video tips and psychology
How to become better at everything
People who want to be the best at everything are considered naive and narcissistic. This opinion has a right to exist, but it is not entirely correct. If a person wants this, it means he strives to work on himself. And this is an approach of creative, energetic and strong personality.
- Define your goals. Becoming better at everything is unrealistic and you understand that. Achieve excellence in areas that are important and interesting to you. Select them and write them down.
- It is impossible to correctly define goals without good motivation. Losing weight is needed to improve your figure, and not to buy an elegant dress. A clear presentation of the result of the work will not allow you to stop halfway and will contribute to success.
- For each individual goal, make a plan. To do this, study the area in which you intend to succeed. Determine how to achieve the result and the resources that will be needed.
- Having decided this issue, make a plan. To begin, sketch out a draft and break it down into stages. After this, analyze the plan.
- I don’t recommend planning something that you can’t implement. To learn how Chinese New Year is celebrated, a visit to the country is required. If this is not possible, exclude the item from the plan.
- Do not spray under any circumstances. If you want to improve in several areas, approach the issue wisely. Sometimes combine achieving goals, but in some cases strive for one thing.
- Take small steps towards your goal. This will allow you to act in several directions without strain. Count on quick results It’s not worth it, since working on yourself requires effort, time and patience.
- Start implementing the plan with priority goals. Be sure to estimate which goal will require the most time to achieve and start there.
- Select areas related to everyday life, health, nutrition and personal life into one category. Do them daily. Make this kind of work a habit.
If something doesn't work out, don't give up. Remember, no one is immune from failure. See them as manifestations of life. Celebrating your successes will help you maintain your enthusiasm, and every praise you receive for your next achievement will ensure that you feel like you are becoming a better person.
Becoming better in appearance
Every person wants to be beautiful and young. People have been searching for the “elixir of youth” for a long time. They spend a lot of time, effort and money to achieve their goals. But, as practice shows, all efforts are unsuccessful.
Plastic surgery can eliminate defects in appearance, but not every person is ready to do this, and the pleasure cannot be called affordable. Therefore, people are interested in the issue of improving their appearance through sports and healthy eating at home.
It is impossible to get well-groomed skin and a beautiful figure without a significant investment of time and effort. It is recommended to completely improve your appearance. They will help with this small tricks, to which I will devote the next section of the story.
Now you and I will become better in appearance using available means and with minimal effort. You may have some doubts about this, but I will try to dispel them.
- Did you know that cucumber - cosmetic product that relieves puffiness? Before applying color to your eyes, place thin slices of cucumber on your closed eyelids. Additionally, prepare a mask from the vegetable.
- Baby powder sprinkled on a brush can effectively combat oily hair. This product absorbs fat.
- You can restore softness to your lips with a soft toothbrush. Apply a balm to it, which will provide a peeling effect.
- I recommend shaving your legs after a bath. This will make the skin of your feet smooth. Hairs, "steamed" in hot water, will become soft and the procedure for removing “undesirable vegetation” will be more pleasant.
- Most people have rough skin on their elbows and knees. A delicate scrub will help smooth it out.
- Do you want to make your teeth whiter? You don't have to go to the dentist. Use a bluish lipstick.
- To tidy up and shape your eyebrows, I recommend using hair gel. But I don’t advise you to overdo it with tweezers, otherwise you will be left without eyebrows.
- Shower with aromatic gel. As a result, the body will remain fragrant longer. If possible, purchase a set consisting of perfume, gel and eau de toilette.
- Avoid using hairspray. Do styling using a hairdryer and comb. Without skills it will be difficult, but over time you will get the hang of it.
- Use hair conditioner several times a week. This cosmetic product will take care of the condition of your hair ends.
Agree, none of the tips involves the use of expensive or abstruse means. All this is present in every person’s home arsenal. Recommendations will make you look younger and more beautiful. The main thing is don't stop. Only constant work on your appearance will ensure results and lasting effects.
How to become better than others
Some people consider themselves charming, beautiful and smart. At the same time, they refuse to notice flaws, and everyone has them. Some individuals are so confident in their own exclusivity and superiority that sometimes titanic efforts are made to bring them back to earth.
I hope that your self-esteem is in order and that you are aware of your weaknesses and strengths. If you are ready to work on yourself, I will help you.
- First of all, decide who you want to overtake. Achieving a goal requires a guideline. The area can be any: career, leisure, hobbies, hobbies.
- Do you want to become an interesting conversationalist? You will need to acquire an enviable amount of knowledge. Communicate with narrow-minded and empty-headed individuals, which will allow you to stand out from their crowd. But this is not enough.
- I dare to suggest that you are interested in communicating with erudite interlocutors who support the conversation. Do not overdo it in this matter, otherwise your environment will consider you “boring”.
- Strive for goodwill and find in people good qualities. If people notice this, they will be drawn to you. Therefore, throw out negativity less often.
- Always pay attention and be interested in what your friends are doing. If necessary, I recommend helping a friend. Again, act carefully, otherwise attentiveness will turn into intrusiveness.
- Learn to listen and express an opinion. The person you are talking to will understand that you can be relied upon at any time, and will highly appreciate this quality.
- Everyone has complexes and shortcomings. Coping with shortcomings is not easy, but you can say goodbye to complexes. That's why keep a close eye on the shortcomings and try to eliminate them.
- It is no secret that physical qualities are often the cause of deficiencies. It is impossible to cope with them. For example, if you are short, it is impossible to grow. Deal with it.
- Don't hide your individuality. Try to show your imagination and feelings more often. Everyone has intuition. Use it to decide on your style. He may not be to everyone's liking, but a true friend will accept you for who you are.
- You will be better than others by taking initiative. Not everyone is able to be the first to start communicating with a stranger. Don't be afraid of it. So you will make acquaintances, find a girl or a guy.
Listen to the advice and remember that the key to success is a sincere smile. She will help you conquer peaks and do impossible things.
If you frown and throw lightning bolts with your eyes at passers-by, nothing will happen, and those around you will turn away. I think you don’t need this, because life alone is gloomy and uninteresting.
Life requires an all-round pursuit of excellence. It will take a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it. In addition, the activity is very useful, since a person who is engaged in self-improvement moves forward, develops, competes with himself and achieves success.
There are many people in the world who feel shy when communicating with other people, especially strangers, for fear of seeming uninteresting or boring. How can you be an interesting conversationalist and not be afraid of communication? We offer you some advice.
To be more interesting when communicating, start changing yourself. Perhaps not only from the inside, but also from the outside. Think it might be worth updating your wardrobe or even choosing a new style clothes? Try to highlight your individuality. If a person is very shy, he is recommended to use bright colors in clothes. They will add self-confidence and make you a more visible person among others. Also, if possible, consult with image professionals.
It will be useful to attend events where they conduct research on topics about love, family, career and others. The knowledge you gain at such events will help you better understand the psychology of relationships and suggest new topics to keep the conversation going.
Strive to expand your knowledge. Start reading the literature of the classics, take an interest various areas activities, always be aware of the latest world events. It is unlikely that they will want to communicate with you again if you constantly talk about topics that concern only you. If you know some new information, you should not tell it right away. People will think that you are a bore and a know-it-all, and will avoid communicating with you in the future. Just find the right moment to keep the conversation going on this particular topic.
To be an interesting conversationalist, you also need to be able to listen. Use in conversation the phrases “I agree with you,” “I understand you,” etc. If you really want to win over your interlocutor, use the phrases “I would never have thought of that,” “that’s just brilliant.”
Anyone who can listen competently will definitely attract the attention of others. Why? But because each person is most interested in only one topic. This, of course, is his own person. By talking with a person only about him, listening to him with great attention and interest, inserting various phrases of approval during the conversation, you will not even notice that you have become an interesting interlocutor for him.
And if you wanted to start a conversation with stranger but don't know what to talk about? In such a situation, start the conversation with neutral topics that anyone will respond to. These are topics such as: weather, work, family, hobbies, recreation. First, ask about the weather, but don't ask whether the other person likes the weather today. It would be better to start the conversation, for example, with such a neutral exclamation: “What a beautiful winter this year!” Such a remark will be a good start for further conversation.
Always look your interlocutor in the eyes. This is very important if you want the conversation to be good and pleasant. If you are a shy person and cannot look your interlocutor in the eyes, then you need to learn how to do this. During a conversation, you should always look into the eyes of your interlocutor to show that you have nothing to hide. Also try to smile more often. Your kind smile will be proof of good intentions towards your interlocutor.
And, finally, advice for those people who find any flaws in their appearance. If it is not possible to hide these shortcomings, try to draw the attention of people around you to your positive traits. This way, you will win people over and raise your self-esteem. For example, you are short in stature, but by nature you are a kind and broad-minded person. Don’t think about growth, it’s better to show people that they can always count on your help.
From the ability to find mutual language A lot depends on anyone. This is also promotion career ladder, and a successful personal life, and a large circle of friends. But how to become an interesting conversationalist? What to say, about what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's figure out how to improve your communication skills.
You've probably met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly carry on a conversation and even entertain the company if necessary. For the latter, it is difficult to start a conversation with a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting interlocutor?
First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who move through life easily have a much simpler attitude towards many things. They are interested in many things, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is not difficult to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.
Another one distinguishing feature an interesting interlocutor - a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Funny incidents from life, unusual analogies and the ability to laugh at themselves make such people even more attractive interlocutors.
How to become an interesting person
A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become interesting person and interlocutor? No matter how hard we try to study conversation technologies and select interesting topics, without deep study personal qualities it will be useless. You need to be interesting first of all to yourself. You must not only study a lot and learn new things, but also be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not stutter while remembering historical event or a new joke. Train your memory and attention, this will help overcome communication difficulties.
What to read to develop communication skills
Many books, manuals and brochures are published every day around the world for those who want to master the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first edition you come across, you may be disappointed.
Choose literature that has already stood the test of time and taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classic works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for the further development of communication skills. Not only will you learn proper communication techniques, but you will also be able to understand people better.
The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.
Periodicals will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't do any harm. You can even make a selection of clippings for yourself to make them easier to use.
Basic rules of an interesting interlocutor
Having studied the theory of communication psychology, you can begin to practice. There are several techniques that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:
Taboo topics for conversation
Not everything is worth talking about and not always. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:
- Politics - this topic is too complex and multifaceted. Especially international, because a variety of events are constantly happening in the world. People can hold many different points of view, and categorically expressing one of them can easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
- Health – this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of their last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about your illnesses.
- Personal life - people don’t like being pestered with intrusive questions. Topics such as marriage, having children, divorce, etc. are a personal matter for everyone. Discussing them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.
What to talk about
But then the question arises: what is acceptable to talk about? There are many topics for conversation:
- Achievements of science, including new technologies: telephones, cars, etc.
- Fashion, beauty, style - just don’t indulge in banal gossip.
- Cinema, books, performances and other interesting events.
How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl
When developing relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same things about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the recommendations given, and you will definitely have success with the opposite sex.
Each of us thinks about how to produce good impression on your interlocutors, to be remembered by them, to arouse interest in further communication. Is it possible to develop such a skill as effective communication? Yes, even at home. Many people ask a question from their interlocutor, and there is a very clear answer to it, expressed in the form of recommendations.
Secondly, imagine that the interlocutor constantly talks about topics in which you understand absolutely nothing, and they, to you, by and large, not interesting. Naturally, such a conversation will not last long, and it is unlikely that you will want to return to this same person. Now we project the situation onto ourselves. How to become an interesting conversationalist? Discuss topics that are familiar and close to the other person, but do not neglect them your own desires, otherwise you'll just get bored.
Thirdly, effective communication says that an interesting interlocutor is not distant during discussions, he reacts to what is said (nods his head, gestures), but, most importantly, looks not around, but at the person with whom he is communicating. This is very important, because harmless curiosity (“What is going on to my right?”) can lead to the fact that the interlocutor considers you rude, because you do not show respect and do not listen to the thought.
Let's look at another one next important aspect how to become an interesting conversationalist. The one who knows what stage the relationship is at and does not cross a certain boundary. There is no need to come too close to unfamiliar people and communicate with them “face to face”; it is necessary to maintain a public distance, as it is called in specialized literature. At the same time, you can communicate with a close person at a social or even intimate distance.
The manner of communication is also important, which depends on both the goals of the conversation and the relationship between people. Let's highlight such styles as friendly communication; creative (when interlocutors have common goal); flirting (the desire to make a good impression on the audience, and this desire is aimed at gaining false, cheap authority, not supported by long-term relationships); distance and mentoring (emphasizing the difference between partners, be it the position held,
The manner of communication - mentoring - assumes that one interlocutor takes on the role of a mentor (shows the difference in experience) and considers it necessary to teach the other person something, in his opinion, correct and important.
Of course, no one likes it when teachings come into play, so this style should not be used in a close circle, especially with people you don’t know well. It is important to choose a manner that suits the situation, the environment and meets your goals. It is hardly worth arousing false sympathy from an audience that is not inclined, for example, to accept your point of view. Public distance and a friendly but cooler style are appropriate here.
Thus, it is obvious that there is no supernatural answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist. To begin with, be attentive to those who are currently surrounding you, show emotions about the points made and do not try to win over your interlocutor from the first second - get to know him better. Of course, it is very important to communicate more with different people, but if a person does not understand you, then why waste your energy on him.
It is much more pleasant to have conversations with friends or with those who are “on the same wavelength.” You can train on them various topics, and even though in situations with unfamiliar people everything is much more complicated, you gain experience, thanks to which, although not immediately, the fear of saying something wrong will disappear. The most important - lexicon, it must be replenished by reading books, otherwise no tricks and techniques will help you become an interesting interlocutor.