Psychologists say that a person who lives with feelings opens the door to his main enemy - pride.
Main rule
Of course, without feelings and emotions, the world and its perception by a person would be boring and monotonous. People would turn into insensitive beings: no one could sympathize with another, nor be happy for him. Interest in life would fade away with lightning speed, and people would approach each other only from a rational point of view. Therefore, in order to live fully, it is necessary to have feelings and be able to manage them. The most important thing is to learn how to properly manage feelings that would be in balance with reason. But! Life shows something else: there is no balance between logic and emotions.
Feelings rule life
Failure to comply with the basic rule leads to the fact that feelings begin not only to prevail, but to rule life. People who live by feelings and do not include the mind, get into constant conflict with the outside world and with themselves. Moreover, people who live by feelings do not think that at least periodically it is necessary to turn on the mind. There is a problem that requires psychological help.
When a person lives with feelings, he opens the door to his main enemy - pride. In this state, a person begins to distort the idea of himself, to feel himself as he is not in reality. Pride, in turn, breeds self-centeredness and selfishness. A person finds himself in a state that he feels that the whole world revolves around him, and the life of other people is not interesting to him. Thus, a person becomes a self-sufficient person.
Advice
In order for feelings to stop poisoning life, you must try to use the following tips:
- Turn on the mind. At first it will be difficult, but over time it will become easier and easier. The time will come, and this process will go back to normal. Thus, many such life situations will gradually begin to be solved by the accumulated patterns, i.e. automatically. A person begins to live not only with feelings, but also with his mind, doing everything as it should.
- Learn to think. Turning on the mind does not mean starting to think. According to statistics, the mass person thinks less than 5% of the time, even when the head is turned on. When turning on the mind, people often do not try to think: they are lazy, forget about it, are content with past decisions, template-habitual constructions of the mind, without deliberately thinking about the present situation.
- Find harmony of mind and feelings. In any case, it is always recommended to initially turn to the mind: to your own and to the mind of those around you. If this cannot be done immediately, then resort to the help of the senses. It is important to achieve such harmony: so that feelings can give subtle information about their psychological state and the condition of other people. At the same time, it is very important to keep in mind: feelings should remain only a tool, and the mind should make the final decisions.
- Listen to the words of St. Theophan: “One cannot live without feelings, but it is illegal to succumb to feelings ... Do this: think in advance where what kind of feeling is possible to excite, and enter into those circumstances, keeping yourself on guard against the disturbances of the heart, or keeping your heart in strong hands. You need to practice this, and by exercise you can reach complete power over yourself.
Mind and reason are one and the same, don't you think? But according to the Vedas, this difference exists, and it lurks in the sphere of control. Let's break it down, as I think this post can make you think and rethink a lot.
Physical body
If we take a person and “sort him out”, then the grossest component of him is the material part, namely the physical body.
The senses
Above the body (higher in level) is already a more “advanced part” of a person - these are feelings (vision, hearing, touch ... - do not confuse with emotions), which controls the body. The sense organs, depending on the situation, force the body to produce certain hormones, speed up the heart rate, increase the “combat readiness” of the body, etc. Feelings are directly related to emotions.
Mind
Feelings are controlled by the mind, which directs the senses to various objects and events. The mind is a feature not only of man, but also of animals. In addition to controlling the senses, the mind has an inherent activity of acceptance or rejection, which it constantly does. By the way, the mind itself is not so "smart", because regardless of the consequences, it only does what it seeks for comfort and pleasure, and by all means tries to avoid pain and unpleasantness.
The conclusion is that the mind, through the senses, seeks only pleasure, without thinking about the consequences.
Intelligence
If the mind was for modern man"higher authority", then all our activities would be reduced only to eating delicious food, having sex and sleeping sweetly, but fortunately for us, there is a "smarter boss" above our mind - this is the mind.
The mind controls the mind, and therefore controls the entire body, with only one caveat - if the mind is really developed and strong.
The work of the mind is very similar to the work of the mind - to accept or reject, but the difference is that, unlike the mind, it tends to analyze and evaluate something like this: “Yes, it can be pleasant, but it’s not the best solution because the consequences of doing so can be disastrous. I'd rather endure now, but protect myself from harm later."
As you can see, the mind is much more far-sighted than the mind, it does not follow the feelings, it is a more reasonable boss.
Intelligence is what distinguishes us from animals.
Soul
And a few words about the finest substance of our body - about the soul. The soul is above the mind, in fact, this is the true you.
To live by the soul means to fully rely on the “Mind (WILL) of God”, to always love everyone (not as an emotion), to have a connection with God…
Enlightened, holy people live in soul, small children live in soul. The soul is not characterized by selfishness, anger and other negative emotions, the soul knows almost everything and looks at the world "without glasses and fog in the head."
Living with the soul is the best way life, but unfortunately, it is still very difficult for us, because for this we need to cleanse ourselves of all negativity and give up a lot of "earthly".
As you can see, we are all rather complicated (in fact, much more complicated) and we have everything to live correctly and happily. But why then do we all live differently?
And the thing is that each of us lives according to the scenario of the one who is currently the “king in the head”.
Having a mind is not a guarantee that it is stronger than the mind. If the mind is highly developed, then yes, but if not, then the person becomes a "slave of passions."
Let's look at some scenarios for the development of life, depending on "who is in power"
Mind is in power
If the mind is stronger than the mind, then there is no escape from "sin." Such a person lives with emotions and seeks such pleasures as: delicious food, sex, more money, etc.
The mind lives by the motto: "Let me feel good now, and then come what will be." This is the path of alcoholism, drug addiction, AIDS and violence. Fortunately, the total power of the mind is a very rare phenomenon, since the mind, although to varying degrees, still has its own power and interferes in every situation.
Reason or "the right king in the head"
As I wrote above, “living by the soul” is the best of life options, but for most of us today, it is still very difficult, and the next, highest step spiritual development- life will be the mind.
A strong mind is much better strong mind. Thanks to the mind, many mistakes can be avoided, they say about them: "He has a king in his head." If the mind is developed, a person does not follow the feelings, does not allow the mind to follow the destructive path of seeking pleasure, but takes it all under control, trying to make the right decision.
To live by the soul is to live with God
The mind is cool, but without the soul, it's just a computer for making logical decisions. And although most of us are still far from enlightenment, this does not mean that the soul does not interfere in the choice of each act. No matter how developed the personality is, the voice of conscience (soul) is characteristic of every person, albeit to a different degree.
Enlightened people live with their souls, and we should also strive for such a life. To live by the soul is to live with God, in God, according to His commandments. This is a life without suffering, and to be more precise, I will say this: this is a life where physical suffering means practically nothing, because in this state you feel like an imperishable part of the World Ocean of Life.
You lost in thoughts?
After reading my short, simplified digression about the hierarchy of the mind, mind, feelings and soul, you have probably already thought about such simple, but very important questions for each of us: “So which of the kings is in your head now? Which of them have real power in your life today?” .
And here is the answer to the question: “What to do in order to jump higher “one step”, for example, from the power of the mind to the power of the mind?” Well, that's the topic of the next posts.
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person prone toresentment is inclined to see offenders in everyone:
- Resentment is a defensive reaction to negative events. It is designed to reduce emotional stress that can harm the brain and internal organs of a person ...
- Resentment tries to simplify our lives. Why understand the reasons for what is happening, is it not easier to be offended and it will become easier for us ...
- A strong person responds to an insult with aggression, while a weak person, on the contrary, responds to aggression with an insult ...
The persistent feeling of resentment will force us to look for offenders in order to remind us of our persistence:
- Try to put yourself in the place of the offender and understand what reasons pushed him to cause you suffering.
- If we expect something from people, but do not get what we expect, we are offended ...
Resentment with tears says goodbye to tension:
- Tears color a person only after they have been cried out ...
- Tears remove from the body energy traces of stress and substances that generate these stresses.
- Sometimes, in order to forgive, you need to move away from the source of resentment.
If we for a long time offended, but forgiven in one minute, then we are either very capable, or we deceive ourselves ...
- The more a person is dear to us, the more we offend him or take offense at him. The less a person means to us, the less resentment against him. We are not at all offended by inanimate objects that caused us physical pain ...
- Objects can only bring us physical pain. People are physical and emotional. But if inanimate object causes us emotional pain, for example, if we trip on a step or hit a branch, will we get angry at these objects? If yes, then you should take care of your mental health.
A person should cry not from resentment, but from the fact that this resentment has such great power over him that it can make him cry ...
Exercise to neutralize the emotions of resentment and anger.
Trust paper. Pour out all your pain from resentment and anger on her. Write everything that comes to mind, any thoughts and emotions, do not think and do not argue. Then burn this sheet.
If we have guilt for the negative actions committed in the past and the belief that we have not yet suffered for them, changes are impossible until we deal with this feeling ...
- Don't look for someone to blame. If you are not to blame, neither is anyone else.
For a woman, the emotion of respect is important; for a man, self-respect.
Being inposition of the victim, a person even asks for approval for his life.
- If we have the conviction that in this world everyone owes us: God, the universe, those around us, and we deserve more. And if this does not happen, we fall into the position of the victim. There is a feeling of resentment, anger, envy and disappointment ...
- Being in the position of a victim, a person does everything possible not to be angry with him, but all these attempts of his cause just the opposite effect.
- Resentment at oneself and at everyone is a basic and constant feeling that is present and makes life unbearable. It leads to loss of vital energy.
- A person who is in the position of a victim, on a subconscious level, can have a so-called secondary benefit from such a state, which is expressed as follows:
- To prove to yourself and others that life is unfair and any problem is a confirmation of this.
- Fear of doing something, making a mistake and then reproaching yourself for it. Therefore, it is better to do nothing than to make a mistake.
- Attract the attention of those around you.
- Revenge on someone specific person for something. Sometimes this is done on a conscious level, sometimes on an unconscious level.
- Revenge on oneself for being unworthy of a good life and not being able to achieve it.
- F the desire to remain in the "position of the child."
Remembering grievances in the past - we will not solve the problem in the present.
Fear from the past attracts doubt from the future:
- Fear is ignorance and misunderstanding of the laws of the universe...
- Fear of death is one of the most important reasons hindering human development...
- Irrational fear is when a person is afraid not of what he knows, but of what he does not know, but what can happen. And the unknown is what scares me the most.
- It is necessary to learn how to translate fear into mild excitement. Excitement will give you the necessary energy and adrenaline to perform some specific actions and make decisions...
- Fear is the parent of anger, anxiety, discontent, irritation and greed.
- In the process of life, 90% of the events associated with our fears and anxieties are groundless. And only 10% have a real basis. Consequently, we often waste our energy on events that may never happen...
- Fear is a habit of consciousness, strengthened in us as a result of negative events that happened in the past ...
- If we are afraid of a person because of our complexes and prejudices, we transfer part of our negative energy, which can provoke him to a negative action in relation to us. This process is not controlled, and occurs regardless of our desire and understanding ...
We don’t like that the energy is colorless, and we always try to tint it with our emotions…
- If we do not want to communicate with a person so as not to tell him trouble, this indicates that we have a certain complex and we only strengthen it with our decision.
- It is known that trouble does not come alone. The same is true for fears.
The fear of poverty attracts the fear of losing a job, the fear of losing a job attracts the fear of illness, the fear of illness attracts the fear of hopelessness, the fear of hopelessness attracts the fear of death ...
- Getting rid of fear, we get rid of many others negative emotions. There are two ways to get rid of fear: the first is psychotherapeutic, the second is spiritual.
An exercise in overcoming customer fears.
Try to stage the situation. Several employees choose for themselves the negative emotions and character traits inherent in "bad customers". Then, for some time they attack the person with questions, claims, emotions. If he is able to withstand at least 15 minutes of continuous assault, his fear of really "bad clients" may disappear. And most often, such clients will no longer come across to him in the future, since we attract what we are afraid of.
Aggression is a reaction to a stressful situation caused by the instinct of self-preservation:
- Aggression is inherent in each of us. It is not a constant value. Aggression depends on the events taking place in our lives and our reaction to them.
Equality breeds envy - inequality breeds aggression...
- Aggression arose in antiquity as a defensive reaction to a possible threat. Emotions are ahead of the intellect possible threat. Only then does consciousness turn on and analyze the situation. And if there is no danger, emotions are reduced to a normal background. V modern conditions when all this is no longer so relevant, but the sequence of reactions to the stimulus remains the same. Our emotions, if they are out of our control due to constant stress, continue to be present even after consciousness determines that the situation is absolutely safe.
To make the truth offensive, it is enough to tell this truth to a person who is not ready to hear it ...
- Aggression leads to conflicts. She is dangerous with her increased energy and ability to infect others...
- Aggression appears in teams in a competitive environment ...
- Crisis and conflicts are a signal that something is going wrong and it is time to reconsider your views and draw conclusions. Perhaps it's time for a change.
A man's anger comes from a lack of confidence, a woman's anger comes from a lack of attention...
- Who does not know how to be offended, he does not know how to be angry ...
- Resentment and anger are considered the same feeling, with the only difference being that anger is directed outward, and resentment is directed inward.
Categoricalness, from "desirable and preferable" - makes "necessary and obligatory" ...The recommendation to vent your anger and calm down only partially works. It is necessary to learn how to manage anger, otherwise splashing out anger will become a habit. As often happens, we stop noticing the habit and become unbearable for others. This is how we destroy the energy of the relationship.
An angry woman becomes a man...
To remove anger or irritation, we usually work not with ourselves, but with the cause of anger. But according to the laws of nature, this anger will return to us again and again in different guises, until we deal with it within us or until the anger deals with us.
No one likes to be pressured, even emotions hide in the subconscious when they are trying to suppress ...
Outbursts of anger narrow the field of reason, reduce visual acuity and hearing threshold. But the most important thing is that it reduces the status of a person as a person ...
An unrealizable dream will not cause a desire to fulfill it. And if it still causes - treat yourEGO…
To be offended, you need not a reason, but an internal readiness for offense ...
The false ego identifies itself with the body.
If you want to never be mistaken in anything, "turn on" your egoism. In case of success, he will immediately explain the reason for success, in case of failure, the reason for failure and you, regardless of the result, will always be right.
Helping a person from an ego position is not help, it can be anything, but not help.
A proud person cannot develop. Why develop if he already has something to be proud of ...
- For every offensive remark, the opponent will find the same, only more offensive ...
- A proud person often considers all the events that happen around him through the prism of their influence on him, although in fact, all these events may have nothing to do with him ...
- Recognizing oneself as one of many is acceptance, recognizing oneself as chosen from many is pride ...
- A proud person, denying problems, relies on the nature of his pride, which, however, does not make these problems less significant for him. By themselves, they will not disappear from his life ...
- Defending itself so as not to be hurt, pride as a shield will always put in front of itself resentment, pain, claims, which a person who considers himself proud will experience ...
The exercise. Find out if you are a proud person or not. First, offer a passer-by on the street a certain amount of money. Then ask another random passerby to give you money. If you manage to give money, but fail to ask, you are a proud person.
Knowledge acquired in a state of pride takes pride in the information it contains...
Pride is neutralized by humilitym.
Humility is the accumulated energy that maintains the integrity of a person ...
- Humility is a strength, not a weakness.
- True humility is due to internal processes. False - external.
Pride solves problems - humility will solve ...
- Humility highest form dignity.
- Serve each other, and together serve the other...
- Humility is accepting situations and people with peace.
Reconciliation is achieved through humility...
Greed is a feeling that arises from a lack of understanding of the fact that in this world there is enough for everyone ...
- Greed is one of the most negative traits men…
- A greedy person will not even give up his misfortunes...
If a person has envy has not been eliminated, and we are trying to provoke it with our actions, then this can be considered an underlying form of bullying ...
- A person who suffers from other people's successes is not necessarily envious. It is likely that this is a neurotic with high self-esteem, and this is being treated ...
As long as we envy, we will never become like those we envy ...
Lying is telling someone what you yourself think is wrong. A delusion is to tell a person what you think is true, but in fact it is not true ...
- Lies are conscious and unconscious.
- When deceived, there is a violation of the energy circulating along the meridians. However, the same thing happens with other negative actions and processes.
It is easy to deceive, it is more difficult to understand that by deceiving another, you will deceive yourself ...
Pity is like acid that can corrode relationships...
Pity is a product of the ego. Compassion is a gift of the heart.
Stubbornness brings a man closer to the goal, and a woman moves away ...
- You can achieve a lot with perseverance. The most important thing is to be able to control this feeling so that it does not become "stupid".
- If a man combines stubbornness with the ability to go towards his goal, he can achieve great heights.
- Stubbornness has an unfeminine face.
Uncertainty is not dangerous until it is formed in the form of a statement: "I can't do it," "I can't do it." Uncertainty embodies, with the help of the subconscious, the meaning inherent in these phrases into reality ...
One of the most dangerous vices is revenge.…
Revenge can be everyday, deliberate, symbolic and pedagogical:
- Household revenge - if you were offended, you can break something, not talk, or vice versa, quarrel with the offender.
- Deliberate revenge - carefully thought out, implying punishment for committed crimes or misdemeanors. Deliberate revenge is characteristic of vengeful, aggressive people with negative energy - eternally angry and dissatisfied. The extreme form is "blood feud".
- Symbolic revenge - or in other words, psychological revenge - is characterized by the fact that for the insults that were once inflicted on us, they suffer innocent people. Which we choose in life and make them deputies of the offenders who once inflicted on us psychological trauma. Although we may not remember it, but on a subconscious level, resentment has been fixed and continues to feed our emotions. The danger of symbolic revenge lies in the fact that we are trying to take revenge and make a person more painful than we ourselves suffered, and in accordance with the law of cause and effect (karma), in the end, revenge will return to us again, in the form of the energy of suffering. This energy will teach us, destroying our physical and mental essence.
- Pedagogical revenge - in small doses, even useful. More precisely, this is not even revenge, but a justified and deliberate retribution for committed misconduct in order to fix them in the mind of a person, so that in the future he would draw certain conclusions from this.
Depression is a persistent negative association that is overshadowed by memories...
- When responding to stress, a woman needs to talk and she needs communication. A man to keep quiet and he needs privacy. And accordingly, stress is relieved in women through emotional pronunciation, in men through detached thinking.
A woman's emotion is faster than a man's logic...
- If there was stressful situation, it is necessary to accept it, not to resist or ignore it, but to recognize that it exists, whether we like it or not. In case of non-acceptance, an internal process called "chewing" (multiple scrolling of the situation in the mind) occurs, which is associated with a large loss of vital energy.
- One of the signs of impending stress is the feeling that everything is out of control.
- A person in a state of stress loses the energy field and begins to feed on others. Becomes so called energy vampire". Therefore, next to a person who is in a depressed state, you feel uncomfortable and want to leave the place where he is as soon as possible.
God gave us bright colors emotions so that we color our lives, and we mostly use only black and gray colors ...
- To control feelings, you need to be aware of them.
- If a person does not restrain negative emotions, he harms others, if he restrains them, he harms himself. The only way out in this situation is to deal with the reasons that cause these emotions on a subconscious level and remove them.
Exercise:
- Step one: learn to evoke emotion. At the beginning, you just feel it, and your task is to shortest time, in a fraction of a second, bring it from zero to the maximum value.
- The second stage: learn to keep it at its maximum value for a long time without dips and hesitation.
- Stage three: learn to get out of emotional state. As a rule, it is more difficult to do this than to enter it. It is necessary to get out of this state completely.
After some training, you will be able to use all the emotion management skills. In the event of its occurrence, you will be able to manage it, reduce its pressure or not manifest it at all.
If we're working with a negative emotion but can't reproduce it, chances are we've already solved the problem with that emotion...
In life, a person makes a choice guided by the prompts of the senses. There is a disease in which there is a violation of some of the functions of feeling. And if this person is offered to choose one of two objects, at his discretion, then this confuses him and he is unable to make this choice.
Unexpected emotions are just waiting for a person to be left alone to immediately keep him company ...
For modern man, first of all, the mind is important. It is on him that we focus, taking important decisions. But what about feelings? After all, they play a role in our lives. Should man of sense live with feelings?
At one of the stages of evolution, people separated from the animal world. This happened, no doubt, thanks to the mind. Years, centuries, millennia passed. Epochs have changed. Civilization did not stand still. Discoveries were made in science, technical innovations appeared, new lands were explored - the mind moved humanity forward.
However, it is unlikely that our existence would be complete if from time to time we did not surrender to the power of various feelings: love and hate, friendship and hostility, joy and grief, pride and disappointment.
We don't have the same temperament different tempers, dissimilar fates. And therefore life values ours are different. Some people live exclusively by reason, always making conscious, balanced decisions. Others are used to listening only to the voice of the heart and intuition.
Many examples of unequal, and sometimes directly opposite attitudes towards life, we find in the literature.
Natasha Rostova, the heroine of Leo Tolstoy's epic novel, lives with feelings, thinking little about the causes and consequences of her actions. She rejoices and falls in love, sad and longing, makes mistakes and feels remorse. All this looks unusually natural and cute. It is no coincidence that Natasha is adored by the household, men cannot resist such childlike immediacy and sincerity of feelings. Denisov falls in love with a girl, she wins the hearts of Pierre Bezukhov and Andrei Bolkonsky, Boris Drubetskoy and Anatole Kuragin are fond of her. This example shows what an attractive power sincere feelings have for a person.
The hero of the same work, Andrei Bolkonsky, follows reason until a certain time, and feelings do not play any noticeable role in his fate. However, much changes when Bolkonsky fell in love with Natasha. Love illuminates Andrey's life, filling it with new meaning, making it bright and rich. The prince had a chance to experience a whole range of feelings: joy from reciprocity, bitterness from loss, jealousy, hatred.
At the same time, Andrei does not lose his rational beginning - on the contrary, love enriches the life of the mind with new shades, facets. On the eve of the battle near Borodino, like ordinary soldiers, Bolkonsky experiences the "warmth of patriotism." But love for the Fatherland, as they say, is the highest manifestation of reason. At the end of his life, Andrei comprehends the main wisdom - love for God. It turns out that the secret of human happiness is in harmonious combination mind and feeling. Doesn't this prove the life of Tolstoy's hero?
So, despite the decisive role of the mind, feelings are of great importance for each of us. They brighten up our existence, adding new meaning to it. Of course, it is not worth living only with feelings. But they cannot be ignored either.