What do we expect from the school? Pedagogical advice on the topic "what do parents and children want from school"

What do we expect from the school?

Teachers and parents need to listen to each other, act together, cooperate - all participants in our discussion agree on this. We expect teachers to be sensitive, attentive and fair, and teachers believe that the child is raised primarily by parents. Although not only...

Anna Popova, 50, teacher preparatory class at the Pirogov school.
Natalia Demchenko, 37, financial manager, mother of Yana, 10, and Mikhail, 16.
Aleksey Kuznetsov, 44, history teacher at gymnasium No. 1543.
Olga Dvornyakova, 32, PR director, mother of Anton, 10, and Daniil, 12.

psychology: What do parents expect when sending their child to school?

Anna: Expectations are very different. It is important for the ambitious that the child study at a prestigious school - and receive knowledge, and it was not a shame to say where he studies. Usually such parents want their child to succeed in something that they did not succeed in themselves. Others aim to give at all costs better education. Whether he is ready to go to school, whether he can study in advanced programs is not so important. The main thing is education. By any means. And in terms of education, they have a huge request: “We gave it to you, and you educate it, didn’t they teach you this?” There are quite a few people who care that their children feel good and calm at school (especially primary school). Often these are those who themselves felt uncomfortable at school, or those who see that the child has difficulties: he is shy or, conversely, hyperactive ... They do not want to focus on this. Finally, some parents cannot or do not want to choose a school for a variety of reasons and send their child to the nearest one. Their principle: as it will be, so it will be.

“THE RULES ARE KNOWN IN ADVANCE: I WARN PARENTS THAT I FORBIDDEN SOME THINGS FOR CHILDREN TO DO” ANNA

Alexei: I will tell you about another type of parents that did not exist before. The old Soviet school clearly indicated to moms and dads their place: to hand over money, help take the little ones to the circus and come when called to get a reprimand. Which, of course, was wrong. But today there are more and more parents who build their relationship with the school according to the consumption model: “I am a consumer, the school is a supplier educational services. Here is a list of services that you provide me, and it will be convenient for me if you (school, teacher) report on e-mail. If the services are not of proper quality, I reserve the right to turn where I should. What distinguishes the current situation from the Soviet one is the opportunity to choose a school, at least in big cities. Seeing that the child is uncomfortable, parents can start to fight, or they can pick him up and give him where he will feel good.

What do you do if your parents do not agree with your decision, demand, punishment? ..

Anna: I prefer the rules to be known in advance. On the first parent meeting(we hold it six months before the start of classes) I warn parents that there are things that I do not allow. For example, I do not allow fighting. If they object to me that a boy should be able to stand up for himself, I immediately say that in this place we will have a discrepancy. I also do not allow to offend and tease each other ... If this happens, I will begin to make comments, and make them strictly. And I won’t make any concessions to my parents, I’ll still forbid it.

Alexei: I agree, the rules help, but it happens that at the moment when they are announced, everyone agrees, and then, when it comes to a particular bruise under a particular eye, parents will interpret the situation in favor of their child.

Alexei: Last year, for the first time, I took class leadership over the fifth grade and in the fall I met with all the parents, talked with them one on one. First of all, I wanted them to tell me about the child: how they see it. Thanks to these meetings, I learned a lot, not so much about children, but about parents.

Do parents want you to raise students?

Alexei: I have never heard: "You will learn a paragraph with my child, but do not interfere in education." On the other hand, everyone wants us to educate - but what exactly? Last year, the children wrote the exam in Russian. We asked them not to bring cribs. At the same time, in the classroom where the exam was held (in another school, and the children there were not only ours), everyone used what they wanted, except that the teachers were not asked to go online. The next day, my mother came in, indignant: "Now because of your honesty, they will receive less points than those who cheated." This mother wants us to raise her child?

Question to parents: how do you feel when your children go to school?

Olga: Last year our eldest son entered fifth grade. We patiently waited for the first difficult months to pass, he would get used to and get carried away by some new subject - so that he himself would be interested, so that there would not be such an endless series of everyday life: he came to school, did time, came home, did his homework, the next day the same thing ... But what I definitely did not expect was that all the teachers at the meetings would exclaim with one voice: “Your children are just terribly behaving, they can’t adapt to high school in any way! Do something with them!" I tried talking to class teacher, but everything happens so quickly, the teacher has no time for anything: to think, discuss what to do.

“FROM TEACHERS I EXPECT VERY LITTLE: TO CONSIDER, AT LEAST A LITTLE LITTLE, THE INDIVIDUALITY OF MY CHILD” NATALIA

Natalia: In my opinion, parents involuntarily pass on their initial attitude to school to the child. I always wanted children to perceive school as a big and fascinating world, where there is everything - friends, teachers, study, human relations. And I expect very little from teachers: to take into account, at least a little, the individuality of the child. According to my feelings, now teachers have become callous, and their indifference sometimes devalues the efforts of children. There was a case when the children were given a creative task, they tried, did it, their parents were attracted, but the teacher did not even check it! I also want the child to be given what he deserves: sometimes it is easier and more profitable for a teacher to put an undeserved four instead of a well-deserved three ... And they would not disregard the efforts of a supernumerary three-year student, for whom a decent result is almost a feat.

Olga: Once the son received a deuce, we found out why, he redid the task, but the deuce remained. I advised him to approach the teacher and ask how he could improve his grade. And do you know what she said? - "No way".

Alexei: In our country, there are 1.2 million teachers for every 90 million working citizens - this is the most popular profession. And there is a huge number of those who, by and large, have nothing to do at school. What you are talking about is a fundamental defect not of the school, but of our bureaucratic state, which pushes us to hold demonstration events, for show. If today a teacher is engaged in individual work with a child, realizing that this will not add points to him anywhere, then this is a unique teacher, wonderful, he is in his place.

“IN ISSUES OF EDUCATION THE LAST WORDS SHOULD ALWAYS BE REMAINED WITH PARENTS” ALEXEY

What do you do if the teacher is wrong?

Natalia: I had a similar situation with my daughter. She is a shy girl, she won't always stand up and say even if she knows the answer. And she will never go to find out anything. But then I saw that the teacher corrected the correctly spelled word in her notebook to the wrong one. I did not give any characteristics to the teacher, but tried to explain how this could happen. If the child can defend his position, competently, calmly, then it is better to do it. But the teacher did not admit her mistake and left everything as it is. Then I had to tell my daughter that she did everything right, and the teacher, apparently, was busy with something and could not figure it out.

Alexei: Yes, unfortunately, very few of us are able to admit that we made a mistake ...

Olga: Once, when I saw several twos in a row in a magazine, I could not restrain myself and asked where they were from. To which the teacher answered me that the boy answers questions in monosyllables, does not know how to reason and analyze. It seems to me that she could stop at the second deuce and discuss this story with us: call, write in her diary ... She knew that he had recently moved, he had new family(I am his foster mother), he is shy to express his thoughts in front of everyone. It would be important for me that he was understood, listened to, and treated with care.

Should the teacher delve into the intricacies of family circumstances?

Anna: Of course! That is why I invite parents to “joke around” - to tell about the characteristics of the child, about health, to tell things that can affect his behavior. Or if something serious happens - for example, a dog has died. Of course, I need to know about it, I must be ready for any situation.

Alexei: Usually the kids tell me everything themselves. Sometimes in hindsight. Or they talk about each other, it's easier for them.

How do you understand the cooperation between teachers and parents?

Alexei: We are partners in the process of raising and educating children. In matters of education the last word is left to the parents: I will never insist on something if it goes against the opinion of mom or dad. And teachers should do the training; If parents help us, it's great. Any situation can be resolved if there is an understanding that we are acting together. The child is the third party of this process. As partners, we have both rights and obligations. But it's not on paper. School is a delicate matter, like a theater. Imagine: at a performance, instead of a program, you are given a sheet with the rights of a spectator ... At school, you can’t paint everything either. Collaboration in a difficult situation is not easy. What does it look like? I, as a teacher or I, as a parent, can not go into confrontation, but step back, cool down and think: maybe everything is not quite as it seems to me ...

Why is cooperation difficult?

Alexei: Because people are different. Is it easy for two parents to cooperate while raising a child?

Anna: Because of pride. In women, it often focuses on children. Listen to how they say: “Mine (mine) should be the best”, “He should play the piano, violin, should get fives”, “He is still two years old, and he already knows the letters”, “And I graduated from school at the age of 16." Mothers are proud of their children, and, in general, they have something to be proud of. But they are not ready to cooperate, because they do not hear anyone around them. This year, I begged one mother not to send her son to school, he could not sit still for five minutes. I said that he had not played his own yet, that his nervous system not ready for loads ... In response, I heard: “What will he play with toys until the tenth grade?” What kind of cooperation could I offer her?

Is it important to you to be respected?

Anna: I don't. My father always believed that teachers should be respected, the teacher is always right. And I tell him: it's hard to respect someone who humiliates you. A teacher can be a good mother or wife, but when she yells at a child or knocks with her fist, she must be forgiven, be indulgent towards her. It is important to help children see the teacher as a person. The way he is. In time to tell them that everyone can make a mistake, do bad things - and I, and you, my friend, too.

Alexei: The teaching profession was somewhat overrated. For objective reasons. For many in the 1950s, for example, the teacher was the only source of knowledge. People lived in barracks, there were no books at home, parents had three grades of education... Now we have other sources of information, we can compare. It turned out that teachers ordinary people, themselves often poorly educated, wound up, weak ... So you can’t bring up the cult of a teacher in a child! “The word of the teacher is the law” – no, it is not. But parents who show their disrespect for teachers are simply ill-bred.

For children, especially in high school, it is important that the teacher not only teaches, but also speaks from the heart ...

Alexei: At our graduation this year, the children said: “Thank you not only for your lessons, but also for our conversations in these lessons about important things. For tea after class. For travel. For hikes. After another child gave this to another teacher, I told the director: “Actually, it’s time to close our office. Physicists are thanked for talking about lyrics. The lyrics are for talking about physics. Nobody works!”

Anna: They will all learn in the end. But heart to heart and brotherly - this is very important.

Alexei: It’s good for you to say - in elementary school! ..

Teachers and parents need to listen to each other, act together, cooperate - all participants in our discussion agree with this. We expect teachers to be sensitive, attentive and fair, and teachers believe that the child is raised primarily by parents.

Although not only...

Anna Popova, 50, teacher of the preparatory class at the Pirogov school.
Natalia Demchenko, 37, financial manager, mother of Yana, 10, and Mikhail, 16.
Aleksey Kuznetsov, 44, history teacher at gymnasium No. 1543.
Olga Dvornyakova, 32, PR director, mother of Anton, 10, and Daniil, 12.

psychology: What do parents expect when sending their child to school?

Anna: Expectations are very different. It is important for the ambitious that the child study at a prestigious school - and receive knowledge, and it was not a shame to say where he studies. Usually such parents want their child to succeed in something that they did not succeed in themselves. Others aim at giving a better education at all costs. Whether he is ready to go to school, whether he can study in advanced programs is not so important. The main thing is education. By any means. And in terms of education, they have a huge request: “We gave it to you, and you educate it, didn’t they teach you this?” There are quite a few people who care that their children feel good and calm at school (especially primary school). Often these are those who themselves felt uncomfortable at school, or those who see that the child has difficulties: he is shy or, conversely, hyperactive ... They do not want to focus on this. Finally, some parents cannot or do not want to choose a school for a variety of reasons and send their child to the nearest one. Their principle: as it will be, so it will be.

“THE RULES ARE KNOWN IN ADVANCE: I WARN PARENTS THAT I FORBIDDEN SOME THINGS FOR CHILDREN TO DO” ANNA

Alexei: I will tell you about another type of parents that did not exist before. The old Soviet school clearly indicated to moms and dads their place: to hand over money, help take the little ones to the circus and come when called to get a reprimand. Which, of course, was wrong. But today there are more and more parents who build their relationship with the school according to the consumption model: “I am a consumer, the school is a provider of educational services. Here is a list of the services that you provide me, and it will be convenient for me if you (school, teacher) report by e-mail. If the services are not of proper quality, I reserve the right to turn where I should. What distinguishes the current situation from the Soviet one is the opportunity to choose a school, at least in big cities. Seeing that the child is uncomfortable, parents can start to fight, or they can pick him up and give him where he will feel good.

What do you do if your parents do not agree with your decision, demand, punishment? ..

Anna: I prefer the rules to be known in advance. At the first parent-teacher meeting (we hold it six months before the start of classes), I warn parents that there are things that I do not allow. For example, I do not allow fighting. If they object to me that a boy should be able to stand up for himself, I immediately say that in this place we will have a discrepancy. I also do not allow to offend and tease each other ... If this happens, I will begin to make comments, and make them strictly. And I won’t make any concessions to my parents, I’ll still forbid it.

What helps you establish a constructive dialogue?

Do parents want you to raise students?

Alexei: I have never heard: "You will learn a paragraph with my child, but do not interfere in education." On the other hand, everyone wants us to educate - but what exactly? Last year, the children wrote the exam in Russian. We asked them not to bring cribs. At the same time, in the classroom where the exam was held (in another school, and the children were not only ours), everyone used what they wanted, except that the teachers were not asked to go online. The next day, my mother came in, indignant: "Now because of your honesty, they will receive less points than those who cheated." This mother wants us to raise her child? Wants. But it is not ready for practical consequences.

Question to parents: how do you feel when your children go to school?

Olga: Last year our eldest son entered fifth grade. We patiently waited for the first difficult months to pass, he would get used to and get carried away by some new subject - so that he himself would be interested, so that there would not be such an endless series of everyday life: he came to school, did time, came home, did his homework, the next day the same thing ... But what I definitely did not expect was that all the teachers at the meetings would unanimously exclaim: “Your children are just terribly behaving, they can’t adapt to high school in any way! Do something with them!" I tried to talk to the class teacher, but everything happens so quickly, the teacher has no time for anything: to think, discuss what to do.

“FROM TEACHERS I EXPECT VERY LITTLE: TO CONSIDER, AT LEAST A LITTLE LITTLE, THE INDIVIDUALITY OF MY CHILD” NATALIA

Natalia: In my opinion, parents involuntarily pass on their initial attitude to school to the child. I always wanted children to perceive school as a big and fascinating world, where there is everything - friends, teachers, study, human relations. And I expect very little from teachers: to take into account, at least a little, the individuality of the child. According to my feelings, now teachers have become callous, and their indifference sometimes devalues the efforts of children. There was a case when children were given a creative task, they tried, did it, their parents were attracted, but the teacher did not even check it! I also want the child to be given what he deserves: sometimes it is easier and more profitable for a teacher to put an undeserved four instead of a well-deserved three ... And they would not disregard the efforts of a supernumerary three-year student, for whom a decent result is almost a feat.

Alexei: In our country, there are 1.2 million teachers for every 90 million working citizens - this is the most popular profession. And it has a huge number of those who are in school for by and large nothing to do. What you are talking about is a fundamental defect not of the school, but of our bureaucratic state, which pushes us to hold demonstration events, for show. If today a teacher is engaged in individual work with a child, realizing that this will not add points to him anywhere, then this is a unique teacher, wonderful, he is in his place.

“IN ISSUES OF EDUCATION THE LAST WORDS SHOULD ALWAYS BE REMAINED WITH PARENTS” ALEXEY

What do you do if the teacher is wrong?

Alexei: Yes, unfortunately, very few of us are able to admit that we made a mistake ...

Olga: Once, when I saw several twos in a row in a magazine, I could not restrain myself and asked where they were from. To which the teacher answered me that the boy answers questions in monosyllables, does not know how to reason and analyze. It seems to me that she could stop at the second deuce and discuss this story with us: call, write in her diary ... She knew that he had recently moved, he had a new family (I am his adoptive mother), he is embarrassed to express his thoughts in front of everyone . It would be important for me that he was understood, listened to, and treated with care.

Should the teacher delve into the intricacies of family circumstances?

Alexei: Usually the kids tell me everything themselves. Sometimes in hindsight. Or they talk about each other, it's easier for them.

How do you understand the cooperation between teachers and parents?

Alexei: We are partners in the process of raising and educating children. In matters of upbringing, the parents have the last word: I will never insist on something if it goes against the opinion of mom or dad. And teachers should do the training; If parents help us, it's great. Any situation can be resolved if there is an understanding that we are acting together. The child is the third party of this process. As partners, we have both rights and obligations. But this is not recorded on paper. School is a delicate matter, like a theater. Imagine: at a performance, instead of a program, you are given a sheet with the rights of a spectator ... At school, you can’t paint everything either. Collaboration in a difficult situation is not easy. What does it look like? I, as a teacher or I, as a parent, can not go into confrontation, but step back, cool down and think: maybe everything is not quite as it seems to me ...

Why is cooperation difficult?

Alexei: Because people are different. Is it easy for two parents to cooperate while raising a child?

Anna: Because of pride. In women, it often focuses on children. Listen to how they say: “Mine (mine) should be the best”, “He should play the piano, violin, should get fives”, “He is still two years old, and he already knows the letters”, “And I graduated from school at the age of 16." Mothers are proud of their children, and, in general, they have something to be proud of. But they are not ready to cooperate, because they do not hear anyone around them. This year, I begged one mother not to send her son to school, he could not sit still for five minutes. I said that he had not won back his own yet, that his nervous system was not ready for stress ... In response, I heard: “What will he play with toys until the tenth grade?” What cooperation could I offer her?

Is it important to you to be respected?

Alexei: The teaching profession was somewhat overrated. For objective reasons. For many in the 1950s, for example, the teacher was the only source of knowledge. People lived in barracks, there were no books at home, their parents had three grades of education... Now we have other sources of information, it is possible to compare. It turned out that teachers are ordinary people, themselves often poorly educated, worn out, weak ... So you can’t bring up the cult of a teacher in a child! “The word of the teacher is the law” – no, it is not. But parents who show their disrespect for teachers are simply ill-bred.

For children, especially in high school, it is important that the teacher not only teaches, but also speaks from the heart ...

Anna: They will all learn in the end. But heart to heart and brotherly - this is very important.

Alexei: It’s good for you to say - in elementary school! ..

How much we hear around and express doubts about modern school! But September 1 comes - and again we all meet together under the roof educational institutions. We plan our vacations, adjusting to the school schedule, take time off from work to get to the first call and the parent meeting.

It should be recognized that the school of our children is an essential part of our life. 11 years of school is a given that cannot be avoided, a given of our society. For parents with many children, this reality can continue for 15 or more years. How to make friends with this system? Can it become friendly to all participants? And is it possible to enjoy this process? Let's talk about it.

Expectations vs Reality

It is known that our dissatisfaction arises not from what reality is, but from the fact that reality does not meet our expectations. That is, the higher our expectations, the greater the disappointment from a collision with reality. What do we expect from the school?

Any parent expects that the school as a whole and the teacher in particular looks at his child the same way as he does: he sees his uniqueness, worries about him, passes through his difficulties and successes. But the reality is different. I am by no means saying that the teacher does not see every child. On the contrary, I am convinced that pedagogy is a true art and I take my hat off to the representatives of this amazing profession. But it's different. Not a single person in the world knows and feels his child the way his parents do. The parent lives with his child for many years, knows his habits, interests and hobbies. To expect the teacher to see him in the same way is to set the stage for future disappointments from the start.

How does the teacher look at the student? Teachers, just like children, have a new school year. A teacher who loves his job is looking forward to September 1 and meeting with his wards. However, his task is not just to meet with students. His task is to implement the program, show the high achievements of the whole class, agree with the parents, report to the management ... Teachers are praised for the success of students and punished for their mistakes. He is motivated for high scores and scolded for any scratch and, God forbid, injury. For a teacher, those 20-30 children that he sees in front of him is, first of all, a huge responsibility.

Yes, the teacher sees the uniqueness of each child, and sometimes with his professional eyes he sees more than blindly loving parents. But at the same time, the teacher solves a specific problem, which is the result of his work: the knowledge, skills and abilities of his students, which are prescribed in state educational standards. Expecting more from the school is plunging yourself, the child, and the teacher into constant stress.

Most the best solution for everyone it is to accept the fact that your child will study in this particular school, exactly according to the system that is established here. If you want a different system, then it makes sense to change the school or the state, but it is pointless to demand from the teacher what he cannot give. But knowing this system is very important. Speak the same language with her, too. Only by speaking the same language with her, you can work together to achieve b about more result.

As you know, they don’t go to a foreign monastery with their own charter. Just as the opera and the cinema, the restaurant and coffee shop on the corner, the train and the plane have their own rules, so the school has its own, determined by law and tradition. The first thing to do is to read the rules that govern the school. Crossing the threshold of the school, you find yourself in the world of exactly the education that is approved at the state level, for which teachers are trained in institutes, the result of which is required from teachers and teachers in the field. Such is the reality. And you should not expect from our school that the student will not be called to the board if he himself does not express a desire, as in Finland (yes, yes, stressful situation and flaunting a student's unpreparedness is unacceptable there), or that there will be two teachers per class. And to Sweden, where a capable student can be transferred to a higher class in the middle of the school year (if his parents do not mind, of course), we are also still oh so far away. But, believe me, our system has its advantages. You will definitely see them if you want to.

Change your attitude

Yes, unfortunately, our school is far from being a leader in education quality ratings, and it is often difficult for us, as parents, to come to terms with the approach that is being implemented in it. However, in terms of coverage with education, Belarus can be an example for other states. Everyone is studying with us: both in the capital and in the countryside, any child must receive a basic school education. A mass school, as you know, focuses on the average student. So is it worth expecting miracles and an individual approach in a system that initially has a different vector and direction?

Of course, for each of us, our child is unique. But for the teacher, he is one of dozens of other children. For a school, one out of hundreds or thousands. As sad as it is to realize, our children are only part of the educational statistics. By behavior, by grades, by success. Can we change it?

Of course we can. As you know, if you cannot change the circumstances, then change your attitude towards them. It is in general statistics, for example, that one can more clearly see who stands out from it, who proves with their deeds and results that they are truly unique. The school is the base. Values are formed by us, parents. Respecting other people, looking for options and thinking outside the box, achieving results despite obstacles - all this is formed not only at school, but also in the family.

Whether or not the school meets your expectations, remember that it is your choice. Answer your questions:

Why did you choose her?
Do you consider teachers to be professionals, or is it just convenient for you to pick up your child on your way home from work?
What does a child get in this particular school, besides knowledge and grades?

The answers to these questions often bring parents back to reality.

Do not expect a miracle from the school, accept the reality you have chosen and teach your child to interact with it. Teach by example. Because even how to do homework and how to treat the class teacher, we, the parents, lay. If you cannot change the school, change your attitude towards it.

"Children will not be scared away by severity, they cannot stand only lies."
Lev Tolstoy.

We teachers believe that a quality lesson- this is a "rich" lesson, when a lot can be done in the lesson, using a variety of forms of work. What lesson, what extracurricular activity like children, what do students and their parents want from the school?

1st section.

What do children need from school?
Than listening to a sermon
I'd better take a look.
And it's better to take me
Than show me the way.
Eyes are smarter than hearing
They will understand everything without difficulty.
Words are sometimes confused
An example is never.
That best preacher
Who had faith in life.
Welcome to see it in action
Here is the best of Schools.
And if you show me everything
I'll learn my lesson.

School- First of all, it teaches, but it must also develop the abilities of students, teach them to apply the acquired knowledge.

Today, we do not cease to believe that education is "guidance on the true path." This is nothing more than an authoritarian method of interaction with their students. Oddly enough, at school, students see the work of the teacher. Such class teams are active in city and school events. The authoritarian method helps to reveal the individuality of students. An example of this is the teams of 6-b, 7-a, 8-a, 9-b classes. The student's gifts can be considered in the extracurricular, extracurricular activities. But today in a public school Creative skills are the least developed. Children are distrustful and careless towards creativity. The reason is that in school the learning process comes first, and the upbringing process comes second. This makes the creative process difficult. Low performance in learning activities leads to the fact that the student loses the need for beauty. If the student does not respect his work, he has no desire and works himself. Respect in the student must be nurtured. A child in school should enjoy what he has done. This should be appreciated by those around you. Only in this case the child has a desire in creativity.

What is the first thing children need from school?

A survey conducted among students in grades 7,9,10,11 showed:

Willingly attend school - 50%;
Do the lessons with desire - 30%;
Fiction read - 45%;

And yet, what do children need from school in the first place?

The students of the school were given a questionnaire that included ten questions:

The teachers treat me well
I am interested in the lesson
I understand the teacher's explanations
I discover something new in class
I get a lot in class useful information _________________
My knowledge of the subject is strong and I remember what I learned earlier ___
Homework for me is feasible _____________________
Lessons are varied
I enjoy and actively work at the lesson ___________________
I go to class with pleasure

The survey showed that some students most need a good attitude towards themselves from the teacher. It dominates the primary school. Others need lessons to be varied. This desire prevails in high school. A comparative analysis of the students' answers showed that the more the student is satisfied with the relationship with the teachers, the higher he evaluates what is happening in the lesson. At the same time, knowledge on the subject is more firmly acquired. Children go to such lessons with great pleasure and are ready to actively express themselves there.

The survey shows that in elementary, basic, secondary school, children need the teacher's explanations to be understandable. The clearer the teacher explains, the stronger the knowledge. It is important for the student that everything in the lesson is clear, interesting, and the relationship between the teacher and the student does not have a formal character. Almost all students recognize the usefulness and necessity for themselves of the acquired knowledge. In other words, in the lesson, according to the students, a variety of teaching methods should be used, which directly affects the satisfaction of students with the educational process at school. And the main thing is good relationship to yourself from the teacher.

The ten questions in the questionnaire can be grouped into two groups. Some \1,2,3,5,8\ are directly related to the teacher - these are the methods of work and the attitude towards students. Others - \4,6,7,8,9,10 \ - are related to the student - this is the emotional sphere, learning skills. And if we compare the results of the questionnaires, then we can conclude: there is a significant gap and it shows that we do not always take into account personality traits child. Where student satisfaction is greater, the quality of education is higher. The survey shows that students in grades 7-8 lack a positive relationship with the teacher.

Students in grades 9-11 are satisfied with the relationship with teachers, but there is not enough variety of forms and methods of work in the classroom. What is the reason for this difference?

We will divide these questionnaires into two groups: one is the methods of work in the lesson \3, 5, 6, 7, 8\ and the other is the motivation of students \1,2,4,9,10\.

Now let's analyze the children's answers. The analysis allows us to conclude that teachers effectively use teaching methods, rather than motivation methods. This is very well reflected in the questionnaires of grades 7-8. Students lack the motivating influence of the teacher. Students are more likely to feel that teachers treat them badly.

For students in grades 9-11, this is no longer so relevant, the skill of the teacher is more important for them - various forms of work in the classroom. Based on the results of the survey, the following can be identified:

It is important for the student:

clarity of explanation;
feasibility homework;
diversity and fascination of work in the lesson;
motivation is a good attitude.

The survey shows that the school does not fully realize the creative abilities of students. Although there are plenty of circles in the school. To date, students are working with interest in the classroom: "Skillful Needle", "YUID", "Khromochka" and this year "Journalism", "Souvenir".

To the question - What would you like to receive from the school while studying there?

80% answered- KNOWLEDGE and GOOD FRIENDS.

What do parents need from a school?

2nd section. What do parents expect from school?

The father congratulated his son on his birthday:
“You are seventeen. Well, quite big!
And in a year you will receive permission
For sins of adults:
For a smoke and a glass of wine, my dear!"
The son looked thoughtfully out the window:
"Thanks, dad, for the hi.
But cigarettes, vodka and wine
It's been three years since I gave it all up."

This poem by E. Asadov causes a smile, but at the same time it immediately makes you think about the problem ... What?

The father knew nothing about the life of his son, about his habits, about his actions.

But such families are found all the time. Families where children and parents live without trying to understand each other, without knowing inner world close people, not knowing his problems. In most families, disunity, even alienation, reigns. Hence, the desire arises in children to leave home, to communicate with people who understand them, and do not saw and find fault with them constantly. The majority of children who commit delinquency and crime grow up in such families, in dysfunctional families. A family can be complete and the parents are not drunkards, but if alienation reigns in the family, disrespect for each other, there is no mutual understanding, trust, this is a dysfunctional family. A survey was conducted among children and parents:

And what kind of family do we consider dysfunctional?

7th grades - when parents swear, drink - 60%
10 classes - where there is no mutual understanding, but quarrels reign - 70%.

What annoys you about the generation of "fathers"?

7th grade - NOTHING - 50%,
follow a lot - 20%.

What would parents like to receive from the school?

Knowledge-80%.

How often do parents spend their free time with their children?

7th grade - 60%
9 classes - 30%
11 classes-10%

Do parents know their children's friends?

7th grade - 90%
9th grade - 60%
11th grade - 30%

Are you experiencing difficulties interacting with your parents?

7th grade - NO - 80%
9th grades - NO - 40%
Grades 11 - NO -20% \ parents do not understand, they annoy with their demands.
At one of the parent-teacher meetings, a debate was held “Fathers and Sons”. Parents and children were asked questions in turn:

1. Name the traits that characterize a dysfunctional family.

Answers:

Parents- Drinking family, where there is no control.

Children- A family where there is no mutual understanding.

2. List the characteristics of a happy family.

Answers:

Parents- financially secure family.

Children- a family where parents respect their child.

3. What annoys you the most about the “father” generation?

Answers:

Children- Parents are not the ability to compromise.

4. What annoys you the most about the “kids” generation?

Answer:

Parents- irresponsibility of children.

5. In what way would you like to be like the "fathers"?

Answer:

Children- Be smart.

6. How would you like to be like "children"?

Answer:

Parents- Carelessness.

7. What do you parents want from the school?

Answer:

Comprehensively developed and educated child.

You see that the answers are contradictory. These contradictions cause conflict situations in families. Initially, there are problems, but this is not yet a conflict. A dispute that has arisen is not yet a quarrel. How can one stay on this fragile line without offending another person, without humiliating his dignity?

Unfortunately, it is not always possible to avoid quarrels and conflicts. Often we do not want to put ourselves in the opponent's place and defend the position of our rightness to the point of hoarseness and on this we make even more problems.

3rd section. What does the school give to its students?

A “graduate model” has been developed. This model is an idea of what the school should give students. The school should give its students not only certain knowledge, skills, but also worldview qualities, moral values.

Monitoring was carried out among the students of the school.

7-a, 9-a, 11-a, 11-b classes learn and successfully develop their abilities.

7-b, 7-c, 9-c classrooms - here, first of all, training and education takes place. We perceive education as "instruction on the true path." It follows from this that an authoritarian method of interaction with students is carried out in the classroom.

Parents want the school to be sensitive to their pupils and to be able to reveal and nurture their talents, but too many school rules are dictated from outside. It doesn't give a chance for real take an individual approach to children.

Talents can be developed mainly in extracurricular, extracurricular activities. But to the question: “What qualities of yours never appear at school?”

The answer is talent and creativity. So it turns out that the creative abilities within the walls of the school are the least developed. Children are careless and distrustful of creativity. The main thing is the result, and not the quality of this result \ the main thing is participation in the event, and not what this participation will be \.

In fact, there should be satisfaction from what you have done; others should also admire it.

The survey shows that, in the opinion of children, the school does not fully utilize their creative abilities.

Teaching methods, as can be seen from the questionnaires, are the same, while the educational efforts of teachers in the classroom are based on different principles, which leads to different indicators of the participation of class teams in school-wide affairs and city programs.

Recently, the school is expected to become an institution that allows not only to teach, but also to adapt the younger generation to the conditions of modern life. The school has always fulfilled this function and tried to somehow even out those bends of character that the child acquired in a family, often dysfunctional.

A survey of students shows that in most cases parents are not interested in success at school, friends of their children.

Question- Do you know your child's friends?

The answer is both YES and NO.

Are you having difficulty interacting with your child?

In the 9th grade, 80% answered YES.

Questionnaire questions:	Primary School		Main school		secondary school
Questionnaire questions:	Yes	Not	Yes	Not	Yes	Not
Do you know the child's friends?	99%		80%		60%
Are you experiencing difficulties interacting with your child?		90%				60%
How often do you spend your free time with your child?	90%			60%		90%
Does your child love doing household chores?	70%			70%		80%
Are you able to influence your child?	100%			80%		70%

Parents, without interfering in most cases in the process of education and upbringing, want the child to receive at school: intelligence, the ability to communicate and be a personality, i.e. was well adapted in society.

It is possible to conduct a questionnaire in grades 9.11 to determine the priorities of the educational process:

1. Would you bring your children to our school:

I'm at a loss.

2. What does the school give the student? \ underline \

teaches specific subjects;
teaches to decide life problems;
teaches communication;
educates the right behavior;
develops abilities;
a person gets to know himself better;
gives the opportunity to communicate with peers;
gives you the opportunity to express yourself.

3. What qualities, necessary for a person in life, should the school develop its students?

4. What qualities of yours never show up in school?

5. Is life easier or harder at school with a class teacher?

6. What does the school give you?

teaches;
educates;
reveals abilities;
reveals talents;
other.

7. What will you remember school for?

The survey shows that while studying at school, some students receive communication skills at school, while others lack the ability to work in a team. But in general, much depends on the activities of the class teacher. It is he who teaches independence, the ability to interact with others, but a positive result will be if certain skills are laid down from childhood and parents are not indifferent to the educational process.

To the question- What will you remember school for in the first place?

There were answers:

For teaching me independence.
For the development of responsibility.
For a good friendly atmosphere in the classroom.
For the fact that she taught to understand what is worth doing and what is not.

The survey of graduates was as follows.

Why do graduates remember the school more often?

There were answers:

For knowledge. \If the teacher loves his subject. \
For teachers. \ If the teacher respects his students and sees their talents \.
For a friendly class. \ If an atmosphere of mutual understanding and cohesion was created in the class \.

For all this to happen, we must know what the students want for themselves, what they expect, in order to offer it to them later. And to have the courage to correct what is not good for the development of our younger generation. And, perhaps, then, all our graduates will want to bring their children to us.

Bibliography:

Scientific and methodical magazine Class teacher, Moscow, 2007, No.-6.
Methodological newspaper - School management, 2007, No.-20.
School Director, 2007, No. 7.

We invited teachers and parents to Psychologies to talk about the role of each side in the process of raising and educating children. The following took part in the discussion:

Anna Popova, teacher of the preparatory class at the Pirogov school;
Alexey Kuznetsov, history teacher at gymnasium No. 1543;
Olga Dvornyakova, PR director, mother of Anton (10 years old) and Daniil (12 years old);
Natalia Demchenko, financial manager, mother of Yana (10 years old) and Mikhail (16 years old).

psychology: What do parents expect when sending their child to school?

Anna:

Expectations are very different. It is important for the ambitious that the child study at a prestigious school - and receive knowledge, and it was not a shame to say where he studies. Usually such parents want their child to succeed in something that they did not succeed in themselves. Others want to give a better education at all costs.

Whether he is ready to go to school, whether he can study in advanced programs is not so important. The main thing is education. By any means. And in terms of education, they have a huge request: “We gave it to you, and you educate it, didn’t they teach you this?” There are many people who care about the child being happy and calm at school, especially primary school. Often these are those who themselves felt uncomfortable at school, or those who see that the child has difficulties: he is shy or, conversely, hyperactive. They don't want to be focused on it.

Finally, some parents cannot or do not want to choose a school for a variety of reasons and send their child to the nearest one. Their principle: as it will be, so it will be.

Alexei:

I will tell you about another type of parents that did not exist before. The old Soviet school clearly indicated to moms and dads their place: to hand over money, help take the little ones to the circus and come when called to get a reprimand. Which, of course, was wrong.

Seeing that the child is uncomfortable, parents can start to fight, or they can pick him up and give him where he will feel good

But today there are more and more parents who build relationships with the school according to the consumption model: “I am a consumer, the school is a provider of educational services. Here is a list of services that you provide me, and it will be convenient for me if you report by e-mail. If the services are not of proper quality, I reserve the right to turn where I should.

What distinguishes the current situation from the Soviet one is the opportunity to choose a school, at least in big cities. Seeing that the child is uncomfortable, parents can start to fight, or they can pick him up and give him where he will feel good.

What do you do if your parents do not agree with your decision, demand, punishment? ..

Anna:

I prefer the rules to be known in advance. At the first parent-teacher meeting, which we hold six months before the start of classes, I warn parents that there are things that I do not allow. For example, I do not allow fighting. If they object to me that a boy should be able to stand up for himself, I immediately say that in this place we will have a discrepancy.

I also do not allow to offend and tease each other. If this happens, I will start to make comments, and make them strictly. And I won't make any concessions to my parents.

Alexei:

I agree, the rules help, but it happens that at the moment when they are announced, everyone agrees, and then, when it comes to a particular bruise under a particular eye, parents will interpret the situation in favor of their child.

From left to right: Anna Popova, Natalia Demchenko, Alexei Kuznetsov, Olga Dvornyakova.

What helps you establish a constructive dialogue?

Alexei:

Last year, for the first time, I took class leadership over the fifth grade and in the fall I met with all the parents, talked with them one on one. First of all, I wanted them to tell me about the child: how they see it. Thanks to these meetings, I learned a lot, not so much about children, but about parents.

Do parents want you to raise students?

Alexei:

I have never heard: "You will learn a paragraph with my child, but do not interfere in education." On the other hand, everyone wants us to educate - but what exactly?

Last year, the children wrote the exam in Russian. We asked them not to bring cribs. The exam was held at another school, and there were not only our children. In the classroom, everyone used what they wanted, except that the teachers were not asked to go online. The next day, my mother came in, indignant: "Now because of your honesty, they will receive less points than those who cheated." This mother wants us to raise her child? Wants. But it is not ready for practical consequences.

Question to parents: how do you feel when your children go to school?

Olga:

Last year our eldest son entered fifth grade. We patiently waited until the first difficult months passed, he would get used to and get carried away by some new subject - so that he himself would be interested, so that there would not be such an endless series of everyday life: he came to school, did time, came home, did his homework, the next day same thing.

But what I definitely didn’t expect was that all the teachers at the meetings would exclaim with one voice: “Your children are just behaving terribly, they can’t adapt to high school in any way! Do something with them!" I tried to talk to the class teacher, but everything happens so quickly, the teacher has no time for anything: to think, discuss what to do.

Natalia:

In my opinion, parents involuntarily pass on their initial attitude to school to the child. I always wanted children to perceive school as a big and fascinating world, where there is everything - friends, teachers, study, human relations. And I expect very little from teachers: to take into account, at least a little, the individuality of the child.

Sometimes it is easier and more profitable for a teacher to put an undeserved four instead of a well-deserved three

According to my feelings, now teachers have become callous, and their indifference sometimes devalues the efforts of children. There was a case when children were given a creative task, they tried, did it, their parents were attracted, but the teacher did not even check it! I also want the child to be given what he deserves: sometimes it is easier and more profitable for the teacher to put an undeserved four instead of a well-deserved three. And they would not disregard the efforts of a supernumerary three-year-old, for whom a decent result is almost a feat.

Olga:

Once the son received a deuce, we found out why, he redid the task, but the deuce remained. I advised him to approach the teacher and ask how he could improve his grade. And do you know what she said? - "No way".

Alexei:

In our country, there are 1.2 million teachers for 90 million working citizens - this is the most massive profession. And there is a huge number of those who, by and large, have nothing to do at school. What you are talking about is a fundamental defect not of the school, but of our bureaucratic state, which pushes us to hold demonstration events. If today a teacher is engaged in individual work with a child, realizing that they will not add points anywhere, then this is a unique teacher, wonderful, he is in his place.

What do you do if the teacher is wrong?

Natalia:

I had a similar situation with my daughter. She is a shy girl, she won't always stand up and say even if she knows the answer. And she will never go to find out anything. But then I saw that the teacher corrected the correctly spelled word in her notebook to the wrong one. I did not give any characteristics to the teacher, but tried to explain how this could happen.

If the child can defend his position, competently, calmly, then it is better to do it. But the teacher did not admit her mistake and left everything as it is. Then I had to tell my daughter that she did everything right, and the teacher, apparently, was busy with something and could not figure it out.

Alexei:

Yes, unfortunately, very few of us are able to admit that we made a mistake ...

Olga:

Once, when I saw several twos in a row in a magazine, I could not restrain myself and asked where they were from. To which the teacher replied that the boy answers questions in monosyllables, does not know how to reason and analyze. It seems to me that she could stop at the second deuce and discuss this story with us: call, write in her diary ... She knew that he had recently moved, he had a new family, I was his foster mother. He is embarrassed to express his thoughts in front of everyone. It would be important for me that he was understood, listened to, and treated with care.

Should the teacher delve into the intricacies of family circumstances?

Anna:

Of course! That is why I invite parents to “joke around” - to tell about the characteristics of the child, about health, to tell things that may affect his behavior. Or if something serious happens - for example, a dog has died. Of course, I need to know about it, I must be ready for any situation.

Alexei:

Usually the kids tell me everything themselves. Sometimes in hindsight. Or they talk about each other, it's easier for them.

How do you understand the cooperation between teachers and parents?

Alexei:

We are partners in the process of raising and educating children. In matters of upbringing, the parents have the last word: I will never insist on something if it goes against the opinion of mom or dad. Teachers should be teaching. If parents help us, it's great. Any situation can be resolved if there is an understanding that we are acting together.

The child is the third party of this process. As partners, we have both rights and obligations. But it's not on paper. School is a delicate matter, like a theater. Imagine: at a performance, instead of a program, you are given a leaflet with the rights of the spectator. At school, too, you can’t paint everything. Collaboration in a difficult situation is not easy. What does it look like? I, as a teacher or I, as a parent, can not go into confrontation, but step back, cool down and think: maybe everything is not quite as it seems to me.

Why is cooperation difficult?

Alexei:

Because people are different. Is it easy for two parents to cooperate while raising a child?

Anna:

Because of pride. In women, it often focuses on children. Listen to how they say: “My child should be the best”, “He should play the piano, violin, should get an A”, “He is still two years old, and he already knows the letters”, “And I graduated from school at 16 years". Mothers are proud of their children, and, in general, they have something to be proud of. But they are not ready to cooperate, because they do not hear anyone around them.

This year, I begged one mother not to send her son to school, he could not sit still for five minutes. I said that he had not yet played his part, that his nervous system was not ready for stress. In response, I heard: “What will he play with toys until the tenth grade?” What kind of cooperation could I offer her?

"The teacher's word is law" - no, it's not. But parents who show their disrespect for teachers are simply ill-bred.

Now we have other sources of information, it is possible to compare. It turned out that teachers are ordinary people, themselves often poorly educated, worn out, weak ... So you can’t bring up the cult of a teacher in a child! "The teacher's word is law" - no, it's not. But parents who show their disrespect for teachers are simply ill-bred.

For children, especially in high school, it is important that the teacher not only teaches, but also speaks from the heart ...

Alexei:

At our graduation this year, the children said: “Thank you not only for your lessons, but also for our conversations in these lessons about important things. For tea after class. For travel. For hikes. After another child gave this to another teacher, I told the director: “Actually, it’s time to close our office. Physicists are thanked for talking about lyrics. Lyrica - for talking about physics. Nobody is working!”

Anna:

They will all learn in the end. But heart to heart and brotherly - this is very important.

Alexei:

It’s good for you to say - in elementary school! ..